The Blackest White Women & Fake Lesbians | Andrew Schulz | Stand Up Comedy

are you guys friends a girlfriend girlfriend what are you guys you're just friends you never hook up at all you've never done anything you never now what we're the show-me-state showing that Dyke [ __ ] you got bicurious glasses no give me the glasses now let me show you listen these guys right here you ate some [ __ ] man I'm sorry look at that right I put these shits on I can see labia on everybody right you can see a menstrual cycle with these [ __ ] look like both eyes are the same or now it is and you guys never hooked up at all you know you got little hands you got tiny little head oh [ __ ] you gonna make out here making guys feel good about themselves huh bro when she grabbed it look like she was holding a bag the Louisville Slugger right hands you've heard that before right guys just look down you're the only girl I'd be like just jerky wouldn't feel like a man tonight don't even touch that just reach it for each other yeah you don't got lesbian hands that's your brother you know her for real she's [ __ ] and you're just a friend you don't know you just know him through don't look at her look at me I'm talking okay I can see who the top lesbian is in this relationship may I speak now may I respond to the question will I get my [ __ ] a later response to this one you are tough huh you laid them little hands down like this you've been backhanded by the Burger King hands the whopper jr. hands you know her from school okay okay that's what's up what's your name thank you no black people step it up step it up step it up step first of all you need to give that so damn black shirt to that woman right there okay cuz your shirt don't make sense for you genomic junana that's a white woman named Jane Nana black people have been a little bit older have you ever heard of a white person named chinami I feel like that's the second singer and every black band in history is Teddy's number one intention Anna bro what is happening right now what's your name Bull Connor yo Game of Thrones is over white people y'all need to really just relax give it up it ain't coming back jinan what is your name vole gana that's how you say [ __ ] and lesbian you know lesbians got their own language right use Gatsby foods to get messages little table this but I didn't you know what were they saying man I don't understand well say Ville Donna so will Donna but what's it W it's with the V did you just show me what a P look like listen listen girl because one thing I know who that you know it looks like it's of me star put on that big open [ __ ] when you almost took a lick what's wrong with you filled our ninja Donna Jo Donna what's your last name oh you guys are Russian polish Bosnian that's just south Russia right it's just the scary whites they're scary whites don't [ __ ] with these whites guys you can [ __ ] with like English whites don't [ __ ] with them these user [ __ ] is chasing around Liam Neeson and at Eichen movies spend three movies it's like y'all get over here was your cousin bro it's not even you killed my second cousin twice removed I will exact vengeance on you for killing my second cousin twice removed were you born in Bosnia right what is it like to feel like free to be gay you only gotta hide in like the barracks at a castle anymore I don't know what [ __ ] looks like a Bosnian I imagine it's a lot like King's Landing don't they film it over there Oh how far is Croatia from there it's right next to it oh that's right you guys got all this beef but you're the same right it's Bosnia Serbia hers Nago Villa's Montenegro I don't even feel comfortable saying that one right Mountain agro that sounds like you ride in black dick something you know nothing about pissed off as parents you got a black Mormon I thank you for a monkey make it up all the way to st. Louis what this happened this is another family name we give up everything we saw all three dragons to come again oh c'mon what's this come cool cool menthol yo you got some black ass white [ __ ] out here bro how about a lot cool menthol cigarettes you got some black ass white [ __ ] out here wrong something happening to st. Louis what the [ __ ] say one of these for labor give this back you knew I wanted one how'd you know well we gave it away it was my aura what else did I want oh whoa that sounds like anal

Channel: The Andrew Schulz

Views: 5,112,886

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, brilliant idiots, flagrant 2, podcast, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, charlamagne, charlemange, breakfast club, interviews

Id: npPmhcs6hHo

Length: 8min 10sec (490 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 09 2019