Hot Trans Girl & Nerdy Guy on First Date | Andrew Schulz | Stand Up Comedy

usually women make how many eggs a month Miss oh you're trans well [ __ ] did I pick the wrong person to ask that is hilarious and let me tell you something you fooled me I mean [ __ ] you're good is that your boyfriend or bro he is the most point Dexter Square looking guy and I for the whole time I was like how do he get this fine ass Latina bro let the [ __ ] going on over here bro he brought you front row or you brought him that's what the [ __ ] I'm talking about she's like everybody on YouTube going to know who you are bro his whole family in Chubby Chase is like what the [ __ ] is going this is incredible there's no way I'm In Like A Time Warp right now when did you transition it must have been early last year I mean she's [ __ ] kind of hot dude not saying you can't be but you know sometimes you know you're getting away with it online that's all I'm saying did you know or you just found out right now he's like bro you didn't get car jacked you got booty Jacks today oh my God this is incredible there's no way there's no [ __ ] way no one would believe it no one would believe they like oh you planted this person there's no no you know who's getting planted later no Guys these are the jokes we have to make okay do you break the news immediately what's the you go straight up okay cuz and then some guys are really into that do you still got it all or you got the piece man forkin you got forkin there's no way right now how old are you okay 31 how long have you been Transit year 10 years oh you started early cuz the surgeries have gotten better you haven't had any surgery [ __ ] let me tell you something if you go under the knife it might be over for a lot of dudes out here at DC have you ever been with a trans woman before never did did you know oh yeah okay did you find out in the moment just sword fighting like wait a minute what the what type of Clint is this this is a this [ __ ] looks a little too Filipino or something what the this [ __ ] punches back how did you guys meet this is what I need to know on grinder oh okay so wait hold on hold on hold on hold on so Grinder's gay app right not that I would no anyway so uh but grind's a gay app right so did you flip him back y'all get the map he's out there looking for men and you're like no you still like [ __ ] and then she proved it bro you ain't even gay bro the [ __ ] you on wrong with you ain't even gay dog I'm sick of this I'm sick of these [ __ ] straight all grinder bro bro I love y'all man are you guys a couple or this is just a date just a date your first date there's no way there's no way there's no way but have you guys said pics and stuff and you've talked a lot okay all right he sent that dang Lang over didn't he bro is he packing he's a little nerdy but is he packing he he's packing yeah oh [ __ ] what are you wooing for you [ __ ] you guys on grinder too what the [ __ ] you guys made the whole audience gay in 3 minutes I need a followup from you guys were you on grinder for trans women or were you on grinder for dudes for trans women okay so you like that specifically and why is it like do you need help with your car or something like what what's the yo they're just a carjacking couple they're like listen I need a [ __ ] that knows how to fix a carburetor you know what I mean we're we're stealing hellcats tonight that's what you call Trans vagina Hellcat guys listen listen some of these jokes are going to be incredible that's all I have to say so you like trans women okay here's the thing you're into trans women she she just making sure I don't know what [ __ ] pronoun is Ed she she's looking woman womany is she too woman womany for you absolutely not something's aai do you know what I mean like if you want trans women you want a little bit of [ __ ] you don't want argue you want to be like what's up then like I said split the [ __ ] bill the wait you still got to pay for [ __ ] and everything you bought the drinks you paid for the tickets don't do that don't do that don't do all this work to be you know a woman and then not let him take care of the man partner you know what I'm saying you got to fully commit I know you have your own money but all so would do all these Gold Digging [ __ ] here you know what I mean but they're not dumb enough to spend it when man is around what's your name bro what's your name Greg okay cool gu he looks like Ted Cruz's nephew dude it's you guys got to see this couple it's the most stand up both of you so everybody can see there sit down before everybody starts jerking off you guys are great dude Ted that looks like a Guess Who character that you would never guess oh [ __ ] Greg and then your name Riley I get it Riley it happens dude 8 billion people on the planet Sometimes some wonky shit's going to happen do you feel honestly do you feel like sometimes like there are people that say their trans because it's like trendy do you think that happens I don't know I'm this is like a lot of pressure on you right now and I don't want that but I feel like sometimes you see it's like a fad like they're like I'm trans and then I'm not like Demi levado was trans for like 6 months and then like after the album came out and then she was like okay actually I wasn't I was just trying to like sometimes people use it to get news is what I'm saying but I do think with 8 billion people some weird shit's going to [ __ ] happen dude we had Indians here okay in India every [ __ ] week there's there's someone bored with a third arm it's 2 billion people some wonky shit's going to happen and first of all don't feel bad for them if there's any place that you want to be born with a third arm it's India okay cuz that's what their gods look like bro that's they're not even getting bullied they're like oh [ __ ] Vishnu is back B bro let me get a selfie you take it you know this last place you want to be born with a third arm is China bro cuz they going to have you sew in Jordans immediately fresh out the hospital we have a 3 for one w w I felt that w w [ __ ] in the W bch in [ __ ] b [ __ ] is in the WR

Channel: The Andrew Schulz

Views: 1,396,567

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, brilliant idiots, flagrant 2, podcast, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, charlamagne, charlemange, breakfast club, interviews

Id: BXKw48x1X8M

Length: 8min 32sec (512 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 29 2024