(buzzing sound) - I swear to God, this is why I love
doing Chocolate Sundaes. Performing for black people
is like nothing else. You guys are the most
liveliest, exciting audience. I love,
(kissing sound) I love you guys.
(audience cheers) I f**king love you. I love you guys. And shout out to the Laugh Factory for starting this sh*t on time. (audience laughs) 'Cause let me tell you, when
you perform for black people and they tell you the show
starts at nine o'clock, you got about a two and
a half hour grace period. (audience laughs) That sh*t can start anywhere in there. Let me tell you, black shows start so late they don't even put a time on the flier, it just says tonight. (audience laughs) I called the club up. I'm like, "Hey, what time you guys start?" "Oh sh*t, we'll be over there, baby." (audience laughs) I'm like, "Yeah, what?
Seven, eight, nine?" "yeah all that! Just come, sh*t." (audience laughs) My friends are like, "Sherman,
we wanna see you tonight." I'm like, "sh*t, all that just come." (audience laughs) I love you guys, man. Plus man, when you perform for black, this is the thing I love
about black people is, when you make black people
laugh real, real hard, some of them get up and run. (audience laughs) I mean, I don't know what it is, but something in your soul turns on and just hurls you 200 miles an hour to the other end of the room. (audience laughs) And they manage to high
five 47 of their friends (audience laughs) on the way over there. (audience chatters) Let one of my people run
in the middle of a show. (audience laughs) We're all running, okay?
(chuckles) (audience laughs) If you ever see anybody that
looks remotely close to me, (audience laughs) run in the middle of a
show, get your ass up, get the f**k out. (audience laughs) It is not part of the program. (audience laughs) The closer these eyebrows
get to each other, the more in danger you are,
I'm just letting you know. (audience claps and laughs) (audience chatters) I love you. Who just called me stupid? Did somebody call me
stupid? Who? Who? Who? See, let me explain to the white people, when you make black women
laugh, that's how they, they compliment you by insulting you, "Sherman, you stupid" (audience laughs) "Oh, I can't stand you." (audience laughs) "You be getting on my nerves." (audience laughs) And my dad being in the audience, "I don't think they like you very much." (audience laughs) "I don't think you are that
funny that you think you are." (audience laughs) Now, I gotta explain to him that when black people call me stupid, they're actually complimenting me. (audience laughs) "So why when I call you
stupid, you get mad at me?" (audience laughs) "But you tell me black
people say it, is compliment, I guess you are stupid." (audience laughs) And the problem with this is, now my father thinks this is
how you compliment black people by calling them stupid. (audience laughs) Look, I just told him when
black people call me stupid it's a compliment, right? Then my black friends come
over, "Sherman, what's up baby." Here comes my father,
"Mister stupid himself." (audience laughs) "You look awfully retarded today." (audience laughs) "You get on my f**king nerve." (audience laughs) I love you guys, these
black women are dying in the front row. I love you guys, man. The other thing I love about black women, let me tell you, because black women are very passionate people. There's the thing, very,
very, very passionate. Is zero or a hundred with them. (audience laughs) There's no in the middle. - [Audience] No. - White women play these
little games with me, they come up to me before the
show, "You're gonna be funny." (audience laughs) Black women come up to
me, "You gon' be funny?" (audience laughs) "What you gonna say?" (audience laughs) They want you to tell them the whole show before the goddamn show. And even if you tell them
and it's funny, "Hm-mmm." (audience laughs) Black women get right to
the point, I swear to God, they get right to the point. I asked a black woman out on a date. "You ain't going to have
me wearing no sheet." (audience laughs) - [Audience Member] Oh, my God. (audience laughs) - Like I drive around with
sheets in my trunk, you know. (audience laughs) (audience chatters) Baby, look at this. (swoosh sound)
(audience laughs) Oh, you want the Louis Vuitton? (swoosh sound)
(audience laughs) "You Taliban, this ain't Tali-booty." What kind of sh*t is that? (audience laughs) Then she hits me with the
classic line, the classic line, once you go black, - [Audience] You never go back. - Once you go black, you never go back. I said, "That may be true,
but once you go on my van, you go to Afghanistan."
(audience laughs) I'm Sherman, all right, God bless you. (audience claps) (buzzing sound)
