The Beverly Hillbillies - Season 1 - Episode 5: Jed Buys Stock (1962) (HD 1080p) | Buddy Ebsen

so all right now jethro tell us exactly what happened with miss drive do you well i come around the side of the house and i see this here lady fighting with a furry looking varmint turned out it was miss drazil i know uncle jet it was a fox lady was miss drysdale oh oh yeah so i grabbed up the shotgun and i said step aside lady and i'll shoot it well instead of that she whipped around and throwed that thing in the air well i shot it on the fly with both barrels that blew my wife's box i caught her just in time the chauffeur had to help me get her into the car she was out like a light she was stewed to the guild you said it took two men to get her back in the car you know jeff rule could be that their fox was miss drydale's pet why in tarnation would she want a sneaky old fox for a pen cause them kind of people are liable to do anything what kind of people ask your paw well i reckon i can't protect you from the ugly side of life forever you see ms drysdale is what uh city folks calls uh what does their husband call it granny uh hypochondriac yeah that means she drinks a little a little her own husband said her bedroom was full of bottles the doctor says she'll sleep for several hours he gave her a sedative what about claude oh she insisted that he have a sedative too poor dog doggy's probably the first canine hypochondriac let's be thankful for one thing mr drysdale what's that the tree outside the window it completely obscures her view of the clap estate yes and if that tree should ever lose its leaves and she gets one look at those hillbillies it shall not happen the clappers have agreed to accompany me to palm springs fine fine now you keep them there until i get market back to boston can do and will do maybe it's for the best that you know about that poor woman next door ellie how you can pitch in help us get her cured yep i'll need you to help find the makings from a sober and up mash that's what i'll give her first but miss james said she was taking us to palm springs folks don't run off and leave the neighbors when he's in trouble what are you going to need for your silver nutmeg granny well most of the stuff i got but it takes a cool root rich weed sourdough skunk oil chimney soot spider web horse bed snakeboard pepper leaves chicken gizzards stump water cold oil slippery elm ooze and turpentine and a few more things that's secret oh and the biggest toad you can find granny you use a live toad that's just for testing i give it a swallow to see how far it jumps last time granny used a silver and up mesh set a new record clean over the top of el verne bradshaw's clothesline that's tall jumping for a tote oh this wasn't no toad this was alverny's husband homer it was him granny was silver enough welly if you're going out in the brush hunting stuff for granny you'd best put on some old clothes okay paul let's get it going oh i never forgot i have to have some goat's milk after mrs drysdale takes my sober enough mash she has to have fresh goat's milk every half hour to stop the burning well i reckon you get broken bars son well to do neighborhood like this folks is bound to keep goat everybody sipped us we ain't even got a cow they're pigs neither you're chickens we ain't even got nothing to pull a plow you're supposed to be so dad blame rich i'll bet we're the only family in beverly hills that ain't got a mule it is high time i was stuck stocking this place even mr drysdale's been after me to buy some cattle well good for him yeah just the other day he says to me he says uh mr clampett you got 25 million dollars in cash you want to put some of that money into stock well we better get busy now if we're gonna find there goes that music again israel did you ever find out where that's coming from no sir i didn't every time i went to looking for it somebody always come to the door this time i'm gonna find it for sure yeah good hunting me and granny will be figuring out what stock to buy dog garnet never failed party miss hathaway please stop calling me miss hathaway now if i can call you by your first name jethro surely you can do the same for me but uh please well hi miss jethro how about calling me jane i like that better well we always have to leave for palm springs uh no ma'am uncle jed and me is going to town and buy some stock stock yes ma'am mr drysdale he told uncle jed he had ought to put some of his money into stock he dictated a memo on that but you didn't waste time driving into town you can order your stock by telephone now here are mr garsdale's recommendations he doesn't want your uncle jet to get a bomb steer oh uncle jed he wouldn't buy no bump steer cautious in a bull market you got to be careful with cows too jethro you have the most delightfully bucolic sense of humor now then would you like to ride to palm springs with me or would you prefer to drive and meet me there jethro oh yes ma'am would you like to drive your own car oh yes ma'am i like to drive very well i have typed out explicit directions i've even drawn a map showing the exact location of the hotel they have a lovely pool and jethro oh yes ma'am i'm taking a bikini to palm springs isn't that faster than a train jethro you deny you boy you shall see when we go swimming me james no ma'am i'm jethro body and i almost hate steve change i ain't gonna change oh yes you will under my tutelage you will become an educated man of letters someday i shall introduce you as jethro beaudine being m.a ph.d awful smart woman but that ain't the way you spell beaudane all i know is this is the kind of stock mr drysdale thinks is good what does that say ibm was that spill ibm what's an album i don't know next it's got uh us well that's what's right there u.s.s it makes sense maybe it ain't mr drysdale's fault just between you and me that miss hathaway can't spell for sire need this great know how me and granny's already figured out what we want that's right a pair of goats three pigs four cows a bull a mule and a dozen chicken we're gonna get all that on the truck don't have to miss hathaway says just call on the telephone and they bring them out oh no ain't that nice hello jed i watch that banker feller you have to stick your finger in them holes and spinner a while all right bring that over to do it operator oh hi ma'am this here is jed clamping i like to buy some stock what number do you wish number oh a couple of goats three pigs four cows a bull a mule and a dozen chickens i'll give you information well thank you ma'am i appreciate all the information you can give me the first time i ever bought stock on the telephone perhaps i'd better connect you with a supervisor two heads better than one supervisor may i help you well thank you man this area yeah clamp it and i'd like to buy some stock do you know the number you wish to reach well that's more or less up to the animals but the number i want to start with is a couple of goats three pigs four cows a mole a mule and a dozen chicken is a dandy pin jethro ellie gets back from the drysdale she can milk this here goat mrs drysdale sure has got a nice house thingy granny yep nice house nice car nice job but the evil of drinking sure laid a heavy hand on his heart never forget ellie drinking is a curse you take a drink now and then granny never more than a thimbleful oh you might have to hold mr streisdale while i spoon this over and up flash down i'll throw a double scissors and an arm lock on her just so you don't cut off her wind if she can't breathe without it we've come to see miss brysdale i'm sorry about him but mrs drysdale cannot be disturbed are you her kin i'm a butler oh that must have been her baby taking care of her are you i am a butler madam well i'm glad to see that her family ain't ashamed to help her who shall i say call well this year's granny and i'm ellie mae paul and jethro would have come to but they're busy with the cattle very good hold on now we've come to see miss rosner mrs drysdale is indisposed madam she is not receiving oh still sleeping it off huh well when she comes to you just spoon half of this downer and then stand back yes you'll commence doing some tall jumping we'll bite you we'll be back later with the goat's milk want me to stay and help you do from this drive down we are managing thank you are you doing the washington the cleaning and the cooking fur certainly not oh just letting it pile up on her huh i am a butler want me to haul him out of there run and wrestle him down him folks have certain rights family comes first he sure is proud of that family name yeah hear him talk the butlers don't get wet when it rains did you say something dear speak up dear can i get you something come in i beg your pardon sir the butler said some people from a ranch brought this for madame from a ranch well he said they mentioned cattle they call themselves granny and ellie mae the clampetts they haven't gone to palm springs you're hearing pizza cows chickens pigs goats anything i can do sir framery prey oh hi mr johnson did you watch me hey where's your father he's tending the camera he brought cattle into this beautiful estate no he called on the telephone and some men brought him in a truck yes sir i'm just fixing to go milk the goat come on out to stop him stockpin yes sir mr drysdale i finally took your advice and put some of my money in stock milk just fine huh she sure is a dandy pen mr drysdale yeah good stout fence around outside of course that one across the middle ain't so much bulls already jumped it twice and ain't even mate in season gotta sell some mighty fine looking stock of course they need a little fattening up mr drysdale happy to see him granny he was so happy he couldn't talk he just kind of hung on a fence and made little gurgling noises in his throat yeah that poor man has some joy coming to him i'm glad to be able to help him to forget his trouble for his failure here's the ghost milk granny oh good ellie now you run that right over to mrs drysdale that sobering up mash marks considerable unless you follow it up with fresh coats milk kelly uh mr dry don't ever find his tongue yeah paul whilst i was milking the goat i heard him kind of mumbling like he was giving thanks he says oh what have i done to deserve this lord her you know granny it gives a person a mighty good feeling to help a neighbor you betcha and he needs us because his wife's kid ain't no elf who's that high now you can't hardly blame them for not wanting folks to see it uncle jed the bull jumped that little fence again so i tied him back over on his side where's mr driverdale i asked him to come in for some coffee was the funniest thing would happen to him you know he was hanging on the fence of the stock pin kind of gurgling and mumble and happy like well all of a sudden he points up towards his house and says my wife that's her window then he goes tearing off into the bushes like a bear was after him she took some ash and he's seen her jump right there he's gonna get there with a goat's milk just in time oh sonny sonny your mumsy just had the most ghastly dream i was going to see our new neighbors the clampetts and suddenly this dreadful giant appeared with a huge gun and shot my beautiful fox first is that the most dreadful what are you eating did ravens would bring my darling boy some nice fishy slime he's having a seizure or something there's something wrong yes marie open the window yes let's have some fresh air no no no no take care of the doctor i'll get the window well darling how do you feel dreadful my nerves are shattered open the window dear oh it it might not be good for you margaret oh don't be silly milburn i need oxygen besides i adore the fragrance of that jasmine that grows on the fence of that tennis court next door now open the window all right dear but first i have a surprise surprise don't move i'll be right back granny granny that third butler fella wouldn't let me through that door again and he wouldn't take this milk neither why not he said he wouldn't touch nothing more from us without it was sterilized what's sterilized oh we have that in school once uh that means uh soaked in alkene hoe alkie hall appears to me like mr dry jael's got two drinkers on his hands this drysdale must be in terrible shape fighting me scratching and clawing people and everything how do you know i hear the yelling and screaming clean from upstairs she says marie marie come and get clawed sure enough pretty soon this poor girl coming running down yelling take me to the doctor i got claws family or no family that woman needs help and by thunder she's gonna get it surprise surprise melbourne have you taken leave of your senses you know i'm much too nervous to watch television but darling the doctors in boston said your nerves were just fine those boston doctors they had the audacity to tell me that i was perfectly healthy i said i'm not paying you all that money to tell me i'm healthy i do not want to watch television well you don't have to watch it here just listen there's an exciting western on weston melbourne shut that off and open the window oh there we are you going to open the window or have i i am you see the cattlemen and the sheepmen are fighting it out well if you won't turn it off i will oh dear i i do admit that's a very old plot but i'm sure we'll get something better that medical program go back to that well don't you think that's a bit depressing i want the medical program all right i still hear the castle and the goats yes you see you see this is the latest thing in television program a medical western west yes i guess i think it's called sagebrush surgeon who do he pointed to right there i've got to get some fresh goat's milk up to that woman some way i could chimney up the tree and climb right in that window oh jethro didn't fit me for a man to be in a woman's bedroom how about me no ellie you're too young to handle somebody wrestling in the grip of old john barley corn i gotta get up there and have a goat handy to milk every so often i think i got it figured out granny i'll get a rope throw it over that limb hoist you up to the window jethro you get that mr butler away from the front door then ellie you'd take a nanny goat feed it upstairs to her room for granny all right paul but that little go and go do nothing it's got that little chicken sitting on his back that's all right raw egg ain't going to do miss dry jail a bit of harm so yes margaret what are you doing i'm leaving immediately oh don't leave me i love you i love you too melbourne why don't you come to boston with me you haven't seen sunny for a long time i don't understand why have you suddenly decided to go back to boston to see those doctors let them dare to tell me now i don't have a nervous condition i am even having hallucinations it's wonderful hallucinations i just saw a witch fly by that window and there's a goat in the bathtub with a chicken riding on its back oh you couldn't see them dear only someone with my shattered nervous system there goes the witch again oh melvin i'm the happiest woman in the world it's marvelous wait until those doctors hear this can't get in the attic and she won't open the window heist me up again here melvin let's have a vitamin toast to my coming triumph it's too late chad what do you mean granny we didn't get to her in time now she's got her husband on the stuff so bye so

Channel: 8thManDVD.com™ Cartoon Channel

Views: 364,667

Rating: 4.723146 out of 5

Keywords: Classic Cartoon TV Shows, Classic TV, Funny, Classic TV Show, Comedy, Funny Tv Show, Cartoons TV, Classic Cartoons, Hillbillies, Comedy Short Film, Sitcom, Enertainment, Entertainment, Classic TV Cartoons, The Beverly Hillbillies, Buddy Ebsen, Donna Douglas, Irene Ryan

Id: sUH5WD9bDIU

Length: 25min 18sec (1518 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 10 2013