THE BEST OF r/CHAOTICGOOD

company develops bread with white crust in order to decrease food waste this is brilliant the number of things that my brain will not let me eat because of their texture or their color or something like that and it's really annoying being a picky eater and some of the stuff like I will gag on I can't eat broccoli I I just I will no but but foods that are just slightly different textures and stuff like that I'm sure would lead to a lot less food waste I made my classmates elect somebody that wasn't even a candidate as our class representative so basically we were electing our class representatives I'm in 11th grade and we only had one candidate however it was a Class Clown and only a few of us wanted him to be elected so we decided to choose another classmate who wanted to be a representative but was too shy to be a candidate and we told our friends to vote for him we thought he would get about 25% of the votes but he got more than 80% apparently almost everyone in the class except him knew about what was what we were trying to do the look on the class Clown's face when he realized that he was going to lose the election was priceless sorry if my English is bad by the way your English was great I made more mistakes just reading that than you did writing it well done I use the parental controls on my grandparents TV so they can't watch Fox News anymore ah thank you we don't need fear-mongering News Network making all of our grandparents angry bitter people restoring art is my [Music] passion I like it I approve hara's G gurug gam residents sorry ped authorities at gunpoint and made them construct roads overnight uh 30 arrested uh accidents were allegedly witnessed on that patch of broken road is that how yall get potholes fixed now I know 15 years ago five friends and I drunkenly painted a crosswalk on dangerous Street in our college town shockingly people actually used it and the city installed a legitimate crosswalk walk there soon after now it's in a national publication the case of the gorilla crosswalks some places really need this I don't drive cuz I can't Vision so I go everywhere with bikes and scooters and and I walk and uh yeah cars do not care about anybody else's safety Deli men become robbers steal dozens of cars to pay for their friends expensive cancer treatment entire gang busted 50 plus luxury cars components found leader in ICU with chemo they should have let them all go at least once a month I randomly remember that Dr Phil once invited the creator of the bum fights video did I did I block that out a memory series on his show to confront him about exploiting vulnerable people for financial gain only for him to show up dressed up as Dr Phil and point out he does the same exact thing oh is that where this comes from he looks so uncomfortable not not the guy Dr Phil like the real one I love that Turkish photographer beats up client after learning bride is 15 years old well done yeah you put a film cage on a a Canon R six or a Sony a73 and and a 400 to 600 mm lens and that that's a felony weapon I worked at McDonald's for 2 and 1/2 years and I put 11 nuggets in almost every 10 piece I made the hero we all need right now be the 11th nugget in somebody's 10piece people think I wear throngs for some weird frsh but in fact I do it because they use less Fabrics therefore less CO2 emissions at manufacturers to to be clear you don't need an excuse to wear one I'm glad you're doing it for supposedly the right reasons but but you also didn't any excuse in the first place time to walk the plank sure where's this lease ah good one you're first me now a video is going viral on the internet of a thief being interrogated at a police station ining dur I'm sorry that was just far too many consonant to be legal in the hilarious clip the thief confessed that he stole RS 10,000 oh this must be a currency 10,000 of these and when Durk superintendent of police Dr that palava asked him what he did with the money he claimed that he has spent all the money feeding Strays and cattle the thief also shared that he had distributed blankets among the poor good was his first name Robin in 2015 a Manchester man started graffitiing giant paninis uh onto Pooles so that he could the council would clear them up faster he was nicknamed wanky I remember the picture from the last chaotic good but I I didn't know there was more of a story Legend Charles Pretty Boy Floyd a Great Depression era gangster and notorious bank robber endeared himself to the the public by destroying mortgage papers at the banks he robbed freeing many from their debts that's beautiful came out of my dad's printer at work today hi if you're reading this message it's highly likely that your printer is exposed to the public internet via port forwarding somebody after my own heart oh my God then mean this means that anyone on the internet uh with some technical knowledge can send print jobs to your printer or Worse try to exploit it and use it as part part of a global botnet yes if you didn't intend for this please look into disabling UPnP Universal plug-and playay on your router or remove the port forwarding rule for the port 9100 a friendly Catgirl hacker this was not me this this wasn't me this wasn't me I swear but this is a very common problem and I'm very this is the most Wholesome Way to do it cuz you can just do a port scan of the internet and look for open port 9100s and just send a print job use a bunch of commonly used drivers and just Yeet it into the port and see what happens you won't get a response back but in 2018 a Russian hacker broke into 100,000 people's routers but with good intentions he didn't do any fraud but only changed their settings so they don't get hacked in the future by others professionals have standards I love this I love this so much you could genuinely script this especially for some of the older routers that have uh really widely known exploits and their manufacturers aren't updating them anymore I'm not going to do a full explanations here but but this is this is good update your routers make sure the admin password is not password or admin and yeah internet safely Cards Against Humanity is donating 100% of their profits to the national network of abortion funds if the order comes from a state restricting abortion access if someone selects I didn't agree to this an additional $5 donation is added to their car Frack you live in Texas Theocratic hellscape where human beings are forced to carry unwanted pregnancies by threat of imprisonment we're donating 100% of our profits from your order to the national network of abortion funds you wonderful Legends okay give $5 more we'll match it I assume that I didn't agree to this and that goes to so you don't want us using your money to pay for abortions you know sometimes people have values imposed upon them by bigger more powerful entities and they are forced to do things they don't want to do by carry an unwanted pregnancy for example we just added an extra $5 donation to the national network of abortion funds to your cart okay a more companies need to be this snarky bunch of these states out here getting way too big for their britches police people do can give them the hell they deserve my neighbors are too lwi income to afford a Wi-Fi connection and to Pro Too Proud to use mine so I renamed mine free counil Wi-Fi and told them I have read about it and what the password was my neighbor is now halfway through an onlite College qualification and I'm so proud of her good job I'm glad affordable internet is coming at least to more of America cuz I've never understood how things are now online even with the government stuff but they're just like oh you need internet well I can't afford interet well that's not our problem well you want me to fill out this for this is your problem ex Soldier raids animal shelter with assault rifle in full tactical gear to get cat back oh oh my God he launched a oneman raid on an animal shelter after he believed that his missing cat was being held at the facility okay question one did he ask for it first if he tried to get his cat back and they were like no you can't have your cat like I've heard of one like taking dogs out of people's yard yeah no this is full this is fully warranted if he just found out through Word of Mouth that his cat was there and just like went Commando I I personally blood it but I can see how people could have issue with it how yeah you steal somebody's cat you steal anybody's pet you best make right with whatever deity you pray to I was sick of seeing so many people swimming in the river at Yellowstone with clear no swimming signs so I shouted from the bridge that there was flesh eating bacteria in the water and everyone ran out if if that's what people need to hear to follow the rules that's what people need to hear raw video today armed activists with a group don't comply held their annual feed the need event where they gave homeless people food winter clothes and blankets a crime in Dallas oh I've heard of these people they are my heroes their group was armed to deter cops with one young participant even open carrying swords there's always the weeb I'm sorry I'm sorry M of Texas everyone's got assault rifles there's that one kid with swords yeah know this is this is excellent just meet them on their level I suppose if people thought about real issues and needs instead of manufactured desires the economy would collapse and we'd have total Anarchy maybe maybe not maybe don't let the world fool you consistent kindness is the most quietly powerful thing if you ever want to engage in villainy and undermine the social order be especially kind to the people Society has rejected care about the ones the world would convince you don't deserve your kindness I genuin mean this when I say to you the ultimate Act of rebellion is is insisting on compassion and Grace in a compassionless world disruptive compassion rig blogging because I have a lot of feelings about this and because I believe very strongly in that the most punk rock and bad AR thing you can do is to live your life with aggressive empathy and kindness I agree to a certain extent but I'm also in the eye for the eye crowd compassion bundled with proportionate response I am thoroughly confused using door Dash support I'm asking them to undo a refund chaotic good anyone else hate cops I live in a relatively safe country and most of them don't have to do crap so I go out of my way to mess with them get in my car in the middle of the night looking like pick related make sure to not blink for a few minutes so my eyes are watery and red play Loud obnoxious rap music in the car when they pull me over I make sure to rip a nice steaming fart so when they bend over my car window they get hit in the face with my butt juice act sleepy and lethargic when they ask me stuff they test me for alcohol and drugs and basically raid my car every time always clean waste an hour asking me if I have anything and getting pissed off at me after that they let me go repeat at least once a week I'm pretty sure the entire police department Lo knows me by now cuz they stopped pulling me over next week I'm going to another town to troll some more lazy cops I admire your patience I couldn't do this because I'd smart off to the officer and well I do I do think it's good to you know Target the lazy cops that you know profile stuff at a distance if if you're actually partaking and stuff please don't drive I I actually W wish the uh the quote unquote punishment for something like that was to just pull the person over make sure their car is locked and give them a ride home and then they can come back the next day and pick up their car no charges or anything just just just don't do that cuz I don't want you to get hurt I don't want you to hurt anybody else not really applicable to the situation but but but you're getting a tangent damn it bank robbery suspect threw stolen money and wished everyone Merry Christmas witness said check check his fingerprints Hollywood has taught me that that Santa Claus has snowflake fingerprints this this might be Santa Claus ransomware group forces victims to pick any five poor children and buy them KFC it's like if Robin Hood and a chain email from your Aunt fell into the machine from the fly I didn't see the fly but I assume it's some sort of genetic blender I would actually message in that be like can I buy them some Subway or could I buy them like a bucket of chicken and like some non- perishables so they'll have food for later I an expert in making like really cheap food last a long time KFC does does not reheat well let's give these kids food for at least a couple days Sally haes pretended to be a bank robber in Lebanon to retrieve her own money and to pay for her sister's surgery that's amaz I I don't know the context because I'm very bad with names why couldn't she get her own money dude in the background whacked the eyebrow slider all the way up naked woman chases Jehovah's Witnesses off of her porch and down the street yelling succumb to my devil vable magic wait is this a mug shot why was she charged charged for what this is a public service I finally even live in an area where these people actually come by and all I want to do is open the door blasting ghost and like wearing a picture of a cute bunny surrounded by pentagrams just be like well hello he Satan Yosef menik The Last Knight he lived in Czechoslovakia until 1945 like a real Knight in a castle without electricity or cars he even attacked German tanks on his horse in full armor during World War II good man can you imagine the fear that would Inspire if you're in a tank and you see just a horse with a guy in full night armor holding a giant sword running towards you because you're in a tank and he's coming at you on a like what is HE capable of Louisiana Senator Senator John Kennedy made an incredibly offensive campaign ad in which He suggests those critical of the police Calla crackhead next time uh they get into trouble so I registered call a cad.com and re redirected it to his Washington office phone well done reminding people that uh Senators work for us and you know stapling some wonderful stuff onto the the end of that as well at the same time update Republicans started recruiting plaintiffs for a lawsuit to stop student debt relief our response 130,000 false applications were sent in less than a day good work everyone Republicans do not understand gen Z and some of us more mischievous Millennials I will never understand not wanting to make Society a better place like if you don't want to make Society a better place because it'll cost you I don't know like six bucks or something you know with your madeup tax Magic money why why are you part of this Society like why are you here someone was under your car last night trying to steal your catalytic converter but I shot him with my BB gun twice you're welcome if I were you I'd get something like the cat strap or some deterrent so it doesn't uh get stolen in the future I didn't even know there were catalytic converter protectors I won't always be there to snipe the bad guys you're friendly neighbor a man I have a bunch of BB guns this is the best use of BB guns I've seen in a while imagine how like freaked out he was too at like 2:00 in the morning being under some cart and you just feel like a really sharp pain in your arm be like ow what the hell ow probably thought he got bit the first time or something yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working like I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy crap when Wick women infants and children voucher program to help lowincome mothers and families with children people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were before the cards they had to tell us up front they were Wick and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get it was awful sometimes like 2 gallons of milk $4 worth of vegetables etc etc they'd always have items hanging back waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt I began to place the fruits vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like a half lb of grapes read is like 28 lb or something then next shock when I when I said they still had x amount of pounds left they got all their fruit and vegetables I think it started to kind of catch on to the women because I would have the same moms of my line month after month and even after they switched the cards uh they worked like food stamp cards i' still do the same thing they were able to get more produce for whatever crappy max amount Indiana gave them always be chaotic it's more fun that way yeah if somebody puts you in a position of power and that position of power has the potential to oppress other people you can quiet quit you can just quit or you can use that power for good because I don't think they ever expect that because I work in it this doesn't really apply to me cuz I just make sure everybody can access all their stuff at all the times cuz yeah but but this is wonderful this is heartwarming and wholesome comment on this saying something along the lines of I want this on a t-shirt this ah this is beautiful that the post describes it but basically I'll explain how this works in function if you post a meme or like a new logo or something like that uh uh there will be a bot that will scrape the artwork directly from the post and put it onto a t-shirt generate a new purchase page and post that as a reply to your comment to be like I posted one of the things that like I literally just made merch for something and and somebody said oh my God I can't wait to get the t-shirt and another site scraped that picture and put the picture of my picture of merch onto a picture of a shirt and then created like a purchase page for it they it's wild French environmentalists targeted sites near tulo calling golf the Leisure industry of the most privileged climate activists fill golf holes with cement after water ban exemption why are golf courses getting water ban exemptions it is it is a flat surf man just asurf that crap if you really want to walk around and hit a tiny ball I live in a community once in Florida that was like all about golf like even the kids played there were golf lessons for like little ones I I I sat through like half a round of golf and I just wanted to jump into one of the Lakes cuz that seemed way more interesting than anything was going on like it'd be pretty if it was a park or something you could actually run around and do something but no line up and here little tiny bow we're going to go right in the cart for 5 minutes cuz there's nothing else to do the clubhouse had good fries though I'll give them that just a fries in a giant Park and I'll be I'll be on board teacher did one of those word cloud things with a ual response thing for the question what makes rabbits so special I submitted the word soft 600 times I've never seen this this would be so widely abused in the schools full of Geeks I went to oh this we would have been meing entire sentences by like sequencing bursts of words oh that's awful sometimes you just use what you got I guess Marcato elal oh wait marato blal it's like they scratched out half of sign they are still a registered trademark they could come after you I don't think they're going to they only got one store and it's pretty much a novelty man fights off shark stitches up own leg goes to the pub New Zealander James Grant stabs Predator with a knife to get free swims ashore sutures wounds and goes to Pub for a beer is this guy part of the John Wick universe but in New Zealand staggering out of there and being like all right I'm stitched up I need I I need some alcohol may this be the year in which you stop writing for fame or money and start writing for Revenge everything I do that I aim for success in is all for Revenge success is the best form of Revenge found this walking home after a long day stay fracking positive I like that I I really do a Ukrainian steals $25,000 in Bitcoin from Russian dark web market and gives it to a key of charity good good job welcome to the dark web I like to imagine this is an actual photo of of the hack dear Steve I hope you're happy with her now the whole town will know what a filthy cheater you are from Jenny P.S I bought this ad using your credit [Music] card oh this looked like it was on a bulletin board for a second and then I realized it's like a folded newspaper it's it's giant I wonder if the people like laying out the newspaper they're doing layout just like sat giggling like we're not going to get involved we're just going to take the money and put the ad in and just see what happens when I was in fourth grade I was in the gifted program oh me too and they let us go to the library more often which meant we had more chances to take the accelerator Vader tests and get points and whoever reached a certain threshold got to go to Chuck-E-Cheese so I go around asking people I knew that I had a hard time reading uh what their login were and sneak in to take tests for them so they could go to Chuck-E-Cheese too I got caught and they didn't let me go to Chuck-E-Cheese but it was worth it Frack you Chuck-E-Cheese official we love your heroics we're going to deal with whoever caught you chuckecheese official I'm more just refreshed by a brand actively threatening something imagine Chuck-E-Cheese himself showing up to your house at 2:00 in the morning with a baseball bat that did Inspire fear co-workers said she would only accept an official Apple Mouse so I dug this out of storage and left it on her desk to be fair this has better ergonomics than the Magic Mouse and it doesn't need to be upside down to charge it had a really satisfying clicky button too why am I nostalgic for this cyber truck looking thing I had to do it to save everyone man breaks into school and shelters nearly a dozen people from blizzard I don't know where this is uh the article doesn't say but I'm sure if this is any any sort of cold climate like they would understand they'd be like please break a window or something to get people inside during a storm especially given the the gear he's wearing I'm I'm sure they get some serious cold weather and they'd rather people just break a window shout out to the US embassies in Austria Chile India and South Korea who have directly ignored orders from the Trump Administration in flying the pride flag they found really clever workarounds uh as they were banned from flying the pride flag on the flag pole they aren't ignoring orders they are obeying uh the orders to the exact letter malicious compliance yes the building is technically us soil like it's on us soil so they can put whatever they want on the building also in Mexico City they couldn't fly in the flag but they didn't say anything about a picture of a flying no that's the best that's the best thing ever it's like you said I couldn't fly the pride flag you didn't say I couldn't fly a picture of the pride flag wow that's that's just a smart alec thing I love it this is some god tier chaotic lawful evil stuff no that's lawful good that that's chaotic no it's just it goes back to chaotic good chaotic good fighting lawful evil I love it today I learned the first woman to ever interview a US president did so by stealing his clothes as he swam naked and refused to give them back until he agreed to the interview what she has the expression of just like yeah I know what I did and I'm proud of it good for her Zoo separates five parrots after the birds were caught encouraging each other to swear a guests become mon governable man you don't need a mohawk and spikes to be a punk being a punk is about breaking rules no feeding the Ducks feeding ducks punk as crap Frack the system hell yeah little dude I love this people that gatekeep punk have always just confused me we want rules in our system that is about breaking rules what teachers the Supreme Court just ruled that you can lead your students in prayer I hope you're all prepared to uphold and honor that decision bring out your prayer rug your pentagrams your herbs and Tarot cards your Kuran your tanak and Talman your Rams Horn your Star of David your bamet your Satanic Bible your altars your Tibetan prayer wheel your book of shadows and for those so inclined your colanders all praise His noodly appendage run my first thought was that it would be funny to stand out there and cheer them on as Michael Myers says the marathon was the weekend before Halloween I love this I I would never I would never do a marathon again I did one once but but if I saw this halfway through it would just make me make the entire thing so much better model and actress Anita eberg after being followed and hounded by photographers beat up one of them when they threatened to call the cops she retrieved a bow and arrow from her Villa and shot another photographer 1960 yeah it's amazing how in America you don't have the right to your own image like I was just reading a thing about Germany like you can't just do this and it's amazing that people don't expect consequences from it always carry zip ties so you can Frack with people who Park like arsh holes I do always carry zip ties just out of habit because network engineering my backpack's full of velcro and zip ties and this is exactly what I'm going to use them for time to paint me red again result thank you I like this graffiti to get done Mantra man helps me to not pay for a toilet sorry what so I was going on a trip with my circus group and we wanted to go by train I wanted to pee before we left cuz the toilets in the trains are gross I walk to the toilet and see that you need to pay 50 to go to the toilet I live in Europe so I get frustrated and start walking back to the group uh when I get stopped by a man who worked in the city hall which is in the same building as the train station he says if you go into the city Hall and immediately left you can pee without paying after I got back from the toilet I saw him do this a few more times this man who works for the city is helping people while making sure the city gets less money and as far as I know he is still doing that because I was there just yesterday and saw him do it again that's magnificent I I've never understood the concept behind paying for a bathroom I get the upkeep part of it uh but like locking the door unless you pay like you're putting a barrier between someone who can uh cause biom iCal ways to be in the streets and where it should actually go like this this is not a problem they need to solve this is going to be your problem fairly soon my daughter crying because she cheated on her boyfriend and I told him good man yeah no cheat no cheat any gender no cheat today I learned about Tommy marville Manville the heir to the John's Manville Fortune the terms of his Family Trust granted him $250,000 when he married as a result he got married 13 times giving the women a cut of the proceeds before quickly divorcing them I mean depending on your timing you can get an olded that is beautiful as long as everybody was on board with this like everyone understood like a we'll date for a bit or oh let's just get married for funsies and I I'll get some money out of it I see no problem with this homeless man arrested for stealing excavator to help man change his tire in downtown okay I admire your Ingenuity and Engineering I don't think you should be arrested for this but but also I don't think people should be using excavators to lift cars I'm not trying to be a terrible person here I just want be able to be safe with hydraulics cuz Hydraulics do not stop and if you accidentally drop a car on some guy yeah broh everyone must have a fruit or vegetable No Cap it's none of our business if you eat it or not but it must be on your trays don't hate the players hate the game and a bunch of stuff I'm even going to attempt to say because I'm too white uh lunch crew I'm a type 1 diabe IC I require insulin to live multiple times a day when I was in Middle School many years ago we didn't have insulin pump and and had to use syringes and vials like everyone else the school refused to let me carry it with me meaning I had to go to the nurse's office several times a day to inject it's not just before lunch but could be any number of times depending on the current blood sugar levels the district then cut nurse staff to just spending half a day at two schools and the nurse left before I had lunch as the office staff to unlock the office so I could take my insulin and eat lunch they refused by Middle School I've been dealing with typ one for about 5 years and didn't take crap on the topic I went to the school Lobby picked up the pay phone I just dated myself and called 911 telling them hi I'm at blank school I a type 1 diabetic and the office won't unlock a door and let me take insulin they sent a firet truck and a bunch of firemen met me outside and walked me to the office and asked while ignoring the staff which room was the nurse's office I pointed to the door and he was like okay boys drop it down this kid needs his insulin suddenly the office secretary could unlock the door and I didn't need to put it in the nurse's office every day anymore this was something I never understood one of my good friends in grade school had had very severe diabetes and like five six times a day need to go to the nurse office and someone will always go with him in case like there was a there was a problem on the way there and I would often go with him because we were friends and I wanted to make sure he was okay but he had to go to like just check his blood sugar like anything slightly and some of the teachers most of the teachers are fine but some of the teachers like I don't know I'm like your BS math problems are less important than you know him not falling over I don't Medical but I I just I I he needs to be okay okay funny long story of mine so this is Lexa kid of my class uses a computer one of the teachers actually banned him to use it so him and his friends literally printed over 800 Google searches and the dyslexic kid would ask for a search and his friend searched for like 2 minutes I gave him a paper about it this is the funniest crap I've seen all year that is wonderful I was one of the weird kids in class that had a laptop because I took notes H because handwriting was hard for me to see even even my own and uh and typing was Giant and I would also record uh stuff so that in case I miss something on the board I would be able to refer back to it only had a problem with one teacher once and I let them have their their silly little you have computers and class and stuff like that and just went like straight to the higher ups and they like immediately brought her it was over in seconds literally nobody man named nobody ran for mayor claiming nobody tells the truth that is amazing that dude has no idea what's going on I like to litter UFCW literature in my local Walmart to make management panic and waste their time and money uh Union something r/ chaotic good yes the United Food and Commercial Workforce International Union for us and Canada that's wonderful guy dressed as Yama god of death gives free helmets to bikers uh who aren't wearing one those are expensive that's amazing yeah dud oh wow like actual bikes like actual motorcycles yeah you need a helmet than that I know helmets are annoying but uh you know what's more annoying traumatic brain injury takes one good hit Chicago man arrested after repeatedly stealing guns off of officers using a toy dino Grabber you know a controversial opinion but I don't think people should be going to jail for objectively funny crimes uh I don't think goofballs should be getting prison time and this guy look at the eyebrow raise the expression this is a goofball certified verified stamped goofball green pre green pre shut up man Green Piece drops Bowers off Cornwall to disrupt Deep Fishing Green Piece has dropped 18 Bowers into the ocean about 200 miles off Cornwall in an attempt to disrupt industrial fishing so how does that work I I'm I'm failing to understand why that disrupts Deep Fishing is there anyone who's smarter than me can explain that I'm not sure what that does does it like uh do the fish do the fisherman catch the boulders or what what's going on I I don't cool but how does it stop fishing it is never the answer you got to outlive your enemies this is strangely motivational seriously they just spoke to me in the most intense odd way yeah you know he's kind of like that he's something of a something of a people person something of a talker man buys is a hate groups domain and turns it into a gay furry site the Wolves of Odin is an anti-muslim hate group but if you go to their Canadian website you'll only see love cuz that's uh how you fight that's how you fight them where they're at it's how you fight hate my dad's a boomer he's sometimes lets Facebook get him riled up and believing conspiracy theories I have his login information for his Facebook he knows every once in a while I go into his Facebook and clean out all the conspiracy theory junk so he doesn't get too far to the right or left I replace the hate groups with puppy groups sometimes he'll mention how many dogs are on his feed nowadays and it makes me smile a you're just trying to keep you listen the internet in I think in particular places like Facebook and stuff can get very vitriolic you're doing you're doing a good thing me and my wife woke up at 2: a.m. and smelled food cooking our neighbor was so drunk that he Mok our backyard for his and started grilling a bunch of burgers well now you get a little bit of late night snackage you know oh look at his face too he is he is slashed but he's cooking he's on the grill uh I don't know how to pronounce this town name Los crues man breaks in the gas station but still pays for the cigarettes so you can see there he's got you know six bucks I love how he's holding it up right to the camera he's showing them hey I'm leaving money here I want these he was out of he was out of smokes he he needed to go on a smoke run police Florida man jailed to trying to barbecue all dude barbecue all the chomos come on let him let him out he's not doing anything wrong after many [ __ ] what a name the sorry my I'm juvenile humor the first black female postmaster was pressured out of her post in Mississippi president Theodore Roosevelt continued to pay her salary and punished the town by rerouting their male 30 Mi away until they gave her back to position and that's why Teddy Roosevelt's the goat dude Teddy Roosevelt is is is the president he is him fake doctor arrested in Kenya after performing eight successful surgeries wait eight successful surgeries like there was no mortalities there was all good I don't think you arrest him I think you just give him a degree like you just give him the PHD right that seems like the most obvious answer to me a bank robber named Pretty Boy Floyd was known for destroying mortgage papers on heists freeing hundreds of people from property debt you are a bad guy but this does not mean you are a bad guy it's a very important distinction all right yeah you took from the bank oh oh no but you freed the common man you know I think I think I you know you got to crack a couple eggs to make an omelet you know what I mean when I was pulling into my house earlier today I saw private security chalking the tires of all the cars in the block so when he left I kindly went back and squirted all the tires with a water bottle to erase the mess I was just being a good neighbor we don't have an HOA and the neighborhood is a series of different affordable apartments house predominantly by immigrant non-white working class or retirees seniors who don't leave their house much edit for those asking the purpose of chalking tires is to ensure the car is not stationary Beyond whatever duration they have set for a neighborhood that they don't live in is that for like gauging a robbery I don't I don't understand why that would be a thing again maybe maybe this is just inexperience talking but I've never seen that is that to just like case a house without having to look inside of it QR code sticker for factory farm education dock oh let's see it oh get 30% off this chicken purchase let's go it's not what you think it's not what you think things my dentist has actually said to me well either the x-rays lie to me or you are spontaneously creating teeth I'm going with a sec one because it's way cooler when was the last time you flossed your gums aren't bleeding which means either I'm not doing this hard enough or you actually floss your teeth regularly you don't need to do a fluoride treatment I just want to go check my Facebook for a second this is the best excuse I can come up with don't worry your insurance will cover it take a all handful of toothbrushes I can't order new ones in less ugly colors until these ones are gone remember not to eat or drink anything for a half hour oh actually you know what forget that go eat lemons and drink coffee right now I make money based on people's bad decisions you should probably stop brushing ing your teeth too I became a dentist because I like making Children Cry and they don't let you do that as a regular doctor is this a chaotic neutral dentist your dentist sounds like the dude out of uh Little Shop of Horrors what's his name his name is Orin Orin scll is who I was thinking of sounds like a maybe like a a more sarcastic less evil than Orin scell that's funny the more random people you see jogging for no reason the higher the rent is going up yeah heard a gunshot coming from my neighbor's yard late at night a few weeks after I moved in I went to check it out and when I approached him he told me he does it once every month or so just to keep the property value and taxes at a reasonable level I'm used to it now I mean you got to do what you got to do to keep things you know affordable for the whole neighborhood he's doing a community service the public library made me buy this book because some incredibly minor damage that was there before I checked it out it's a pretty popular book that the library never replaced that was 3 years ago I removed all the stickers and chips and I'm now donating it back to the library Oh you mean this thing that they're never going to worry about because it's just minor cosmetic damage yeah just you're doing a good you know what things are back to the way they were it's balanced itself out in due time oh boy harana is uh gurug Graham residents hold authorities at gunpoint and made them construct Road overnight with 30 arrested well there's a broken road what do you expect us to do just drive over the Broken Road this big patch of destroyed Road no we need you to construct it I took away all the towel seat reservations at the resort I was on holidays at an all-inclusive resort first day we couldn't find any lounge chairs by the beach or by the sea fair enough we arrived in the afternoon next day we go to find a spot but most of the spots were taken by towels we find an empty seat and to our surprise many of the chairs stay reserved almost the whole day or never get used third day we decided to take some towels off two loungers and enjoy our day 4 hours in in old couple shows up that the had towels there and kick us off with help from an attendant that pissed me off so every following day I went to take the towels off every unattended lounger after breakfast and then went to watch the chaos from my balcony many many people complained by the end of the week there was a sign that unattended towels would be removed success you can't just claim a chair for the day and then not use it oh that that's going to be mine but you you can't take it because it's mine no you got to use it or lose it dude a biotech startup has managed to 3D print fake rhino horns that carry the same genetic fingerprint as the actual horn the company plans to flood the Chinese Rhino horn Market at 1/8 of the price of the original undercutting the price poachers get and forc them out eventually hey man listen you got to do what you got to do and I like it I like this move I like the biotech strategy I just finished beating someone up and I hate myself for it but he kicked my cat it's reasonable more than reasonable I just had a roommate coming to my house drunk run and trying to start a fight with me and when I didn't reciprocate he kicked my six week old kitten I proceed to beat his ass for 30 minutes I feel very ashamed but I love my cat was a 6 week old kitten and he kicked it it was multiple beatings in a 30-minute time frame yeah beatings continue until morale improves that's the rule that's I thought we were all on the same page there my friend is such a dangerous driver uses her phone speeds Etc she's a great person but I'm terrified she'll cause an accident so I purposely directed her down a road I knew a speed camera she already had points and ended up losing her license but the streets are safer you do what you got to do like I said you got if you got to get the job done you got to get the job done this time of year I grab weeds while I'm walking my dog and weave them in the little reefs that I leave around the neighborhood specifically because there is a woman on next door who is furious because she thinks they're signs of Witchcraft I encourage you to do the same and let her think that the world's gone crazy decades in between and still doing it Keith McKenry the founder of the global movement food not bombs was arrested and jailed by the Santa Cruz Police Department today for the crime of serving food to the unhoused community members oh the horror and then on August 15th 1988 nine food not bomb volunteers including co-founder Keith McKenry were arrested for sharing food and literature with the unhoused oh the [Music] humanity do it again do it again I don't stop drinking because the owner of the has a family to feed says a drunk did he say that or did he kind of Mumble that and you did your best to make out what he said either way he's a hero and should be treated very delicately and carefully or else he may throw up hey guys I just wanted to put this out that I work at Walmart I'm 16 and whenever I'm working in the aisle anytime I see any product of nestle I put it on an Overstock cart and hope that my managers will see that almost all Nestle products are always Overstock and hopefully stop ordering them at my Walmart I know it's not that much but I try hey man it's the little things that count don't even worry about it it's the little little little baby steps that count a group of philadelphians self describing themselves as gutter pagans erased 1.6 million in local medical debt they celebrated with an unofficial debt burning let's go PID in full my favorite three words oh there we go we're burning it we're just burning that debt getting it out of there nice yeah that's what I'm talking about that's what I wanted to see a big burn can we all just appreciate the incredible Vibes of my new employ you're taking an absolutely wild one-star review and making it into a t-shirt this place is full of satanic activity oh what what what's the review let's see this place is full of satanic activity as free breathing humans we are discriminated against the weight staff refused to serve our laughing smiling faces I cannot believe the treatment we received here as if we were below them if you like Freedom go elsewhere damn dude good looking out nice all right sick t-shirt though I love it hey secret police if you ever kidnap me and throw me in a rental van I will sh so bad inside that van I hope your unconstitutional asses are ready to pay $1,700 to get my grown man feces out of that Chrysler Pacifica and whatnot grown man feces do what I got to do poo where I got to poo if you arrest me unlawfully signs like these are going up in Aussie supermarkets special we made over million dollars in profits while you can't even afford bread it's on sale Missouri trans quote snitch form down after people spammed it with the B Movie script a Missouri government tip site for submitting complaints and concerns about gender affirming care is down after people flooded it with fanfiction rambling anecdotes and the B Movie script the Missouri government checking the website you like jazz uh we like jazz and we also like gender affirming care we took it down we took the site down with jazz Zur CaRu I hope I said that name right saved more than 100 people during the Rwandan Genocide using her reputation as a witch to scare Killers away whenever a militia neared her house where she'd hidden wouldbe victims she would shake her bracelets and threaten to curse them in their families she would even touch them with a skin irritating herb they avoided their house yeah because if you're a witch that doesn't mean you're bad what what what did what did Zan gef say or whatever his name is you're a bad guy but you're not a bad guy it's the rule dude a 74-year-old man uses his haird dryer to slow traffic near his home keeping the neighborhood safe one deceptive silly tactic at a time I work at a credit card company someone replied to her offer by taping the no postage necessary fly to a box full of their trash in a small Boulder well you know it's important dude this [ __ ] it's amazing uh makes you sh amazing hell yeah dude very forceful and very smooth with a hoppy Aroma I love it Richard Bradley dressed in a union solders uniform cuts down the Confederate flag from a top of the 50ft pole in front of San Francisco City Hall April 15th 1984 he climbed that dude let him put up his own flag give him his own flag to hang up there he was able to take that down a 50ft pole no equipment give him his own flag the man who had a few too many alcoholic beverages ordered an Uber for a baby Goldfinch that he found struggling on the ground the baby bird was sole passenger on the ride to a wildlife rehab had to take care of it and you know what that was a five-star passenger solution before going on flights by a plastic pipet then when you're on the flight and this happens ask for a plastic cup from the air host SL Hostess go to the laboratory and use the cup as a reservoir fill the pipet with your urine slowly drop some droplets of urine on the poor idiot's feet until they get the message alternatively bring a Sharpie on board and draw on their feet or write something like I'm a selfish scumbag who sticks their feet on other people's armrests alternatively try and get some itching powder on board they can't stick their feet in your space if they're busy scratching their feet so this didn't have like a a post before it to like Prime me for what this was going to be about now that I understand that this was talking about people who put their feet on other people's armrests this is a perfect solution I feel like the the P1 is uh you know little little strange am I crazy or is using words to ask someone to move their feet still on the table NOP not at that point it's about the principle of the thing be me be white have job in landscaping for multiple HOAs work with a lot of Latinos who speak little to no English white lady comes up to me oh thank God someone who speaks English starts speaking back to her in Dutch not quite ma'am not quite lesbian escapes Russia by boat and sails to Canada to be with the woman she loves that sounds like a movie plot that's I would watch a movie about that actually the daring Escape by boat dodging Russian authorities sounds dope burglar gently waking me you live like this so I heard this story secondhand many years ago but the gist was that a friend of a friend lived in what was generally considered to be a bad neighborhood because he was a super poor college student and was what he could afford he didn't have any furniture he just slept on a blanket on the floor and had a milk crate for a chair and an Old Wire spool as a table no TV nothing in the fridge no microwave basically just bare walls and a roof to keep the weather off so one day he comes home and there's a man in his apartment just standing there with this look of utter amazement and horror on his face he turns to the guy who just entered and says this your place cuz I broke in to rob you but man you ain't got nothing wait here I'm going to be right back and the burglar left leaving a puzzled college student alone in his Empty Apartment but sure enough the burglar came back a while later and brought some friends and they delivered a table a couple chairs and a small TV I think I got you a bed too but that might take a couple days so the poor college student made some friends and he didn't ask where they got the stuff and that is true chaotic good that is my favorite post of this entire thing my ex-girlfriend had a few too many shots of AA in a party and passed out in the couch when I went to check her I noticed she pissed all over the couch to avoid embarrassment I filled up a bucket with water and threw it over her to disguise it as a prank she still has no idea now that's chaotic good but chaotic evil would be to piss all over her to disguise the fact that she pissed herself no no no baby don't understand D you peed when you were sleeping so I peed on you make it look like you know I was helping fun history facts one of the 31 people arrested at Stonewall on June 28th 1969 was American folk singer Dave vanron who was not at the Stonewall in at the time and was sis and straight As far as I'm aware he hadd been eating dinner in a nearby restaurant when he noticed a riot happening and said well I suppose I should go see what the fuss is about stepped outside and immediately started throwing bricks at the cops just Dave Van rck f things for a day van rck kind of night hey mister would you like a puppy no but I'll take one okay I'm going to cherish and care for this dog there's nothing you can do to stop me a well that's exactly what we wanted women shouldn't say bad words retweet if you agree hello Nick I'm a reporter with klwg and Boise I'm doing a story on men that have never pleased a woman sexually may I use your tweets well since you ask so nicely I I'm going to say yes on his behalf I'm a straight man who married a dude ask me anything I married him because I joined in the Air Force and if you're married you get a housing pay and permission to live off base he gets free health care he's my best friend who's forever single and has mad health issues including recurring prostate cancer so you did the right thing you helped your bro out and now he's got free housing right that's how it works or just free healthcare either way he's taken care of you helped your bro out May this see if I can get conservatives to protest more stuff they love Chevy and Marlboro are next The rtor Pride it's supported trans youth we are proud to introduce our newest line of trucks built forward proud includes optional truck nuts a we got a gender affirming truck dude I'm a long-haired native who doesn't steal so whenever I get followed in a store I keep the employee on my tail for as long as possible to make it a little easier for people who need to steal to get what they need it's the little things that count this is what true chaotic good is all about woman on an American Airlines plane duct taped to the seat because she tried to open the door midf flight oh my God now I know that's a very situation but I am living for the day that I see this on one of my like you know flights the closest I've gotten to something crazy happening on a plane was on a Spirit Airlines flight we we were stuck at the gate um we had just landed in Atlanta and they hadn't connected the like bridge to the to the uh plane door so we couldn't leave the gate you know what I mean and a fight started to break out behind us me and Brianna are are sitting on in front of these guys and it's a dude in the aisle and a dude in the seat and they're bickering back and forth It's a younger dude an old white guy and we old doing old white guy things right being you know generally intolerant it was that kind of it was that kind of guy you know what I mean um and at some point me and Bri are listening in cuz we're you know we're we're chees mosa uh and the the younger dude in the aisle goes shut up with your bald ass and there's silence that is quickly broken by Bri letting out a hearty gleeful just the most adorable little giggle that only she can muster and then all both of them look at me the 64 big old dude who's standing in the aisle and I'm like oh all right well this is a situation I got to pretend I wasn't listening to now that's the closest I've gotten to something this natural and beautiful in the in the Wild on an airplane the satanic temple of Missouri adopted the street in front of the Church of Scientology adopter Street oh yep see it's right there satanic temple of Missouri you know sometimes we just got to adopt a road name it after the satanic temple it's just some things You' got to do text on bag reads as this text has no other purpose than to terrify those who are afraid of the Arabic language then who have you scared is there a list i' would like to know who who to laugh point and giggle at oh we got some squeezy or squeezy sorry we got some squeezy where are you f up how I went to India not Indiana dude just tell me you don't love me what the [ __ ] isn't that the neck tattoo guy I was at a party last night and he busted a tattoo gun I was like hell yeah I've been trying to get a sick neck tap forever well that was pretty messed up and I already passed out but when I woke up this morning I was like what the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] the guy was all like that's your neck tattoo homie I was like what the [ __ ] you talking about and he said I gave you a neck tattoo it looks exactly like your neck I was like I wanted a tattoo on my neck not of my neck you idiot then he was like well that's your fault for not specifying now give my $17 dude listen you didn't you didn't specify that that's your problem man squeezy you have to be specific with these kinds of things you can't just give them a general idea I always do leave a compliment for Amazon delivery drivers no matter how they actually did because they were friendly you got so that way they're you know keeping their job it's a it's a bunch of it's the little things like I'm saying it's been a theme it's the little things pro tip replace your cat litter box with an Amazon box when it's full tape it up and place it on your front porch for someone to steal good prank glitter bomb trap nah nah once my brother got into a fist fight with a trans guy and when he got sent to the principal's office the principal kept going like how dare you hit a woman and my brother got so offended on the trans guys behalf that he got into a fight with the principal too my HOA sent me a letter that I need to have a fence blocking my trash cans from view so they didn't say what the fence needs to look like since we're all talking about leaving Twitter again can I bring back the idea of migrating to LinkedIn and mass and just totally destroying the professional Vibe over there yes please do it LinkedIn is okay as a platform but oh my God it's so Hollow thinking about how in Korean traditional theater there was a monster called that uh Yung no which eats rich people and if he eats a hundred of them it gets to go to heaven oh cool um where would I get one of these asking for for for friends please remember that when Doom guy was ordered to fire on unarmed civilians he punches commanding officer and that's why he was sent to Mars be like Doom guy I feel like be like Doom guy should have an asterisk after it but I'm not going to be the one to put it there what's the first thing you would do if you were invisible for a day I would probably fly to Paris find a street performing mime and beat him to death the Applause he would get would be astounding same actually no I would just puppet him around like grab his his wrists and like dance him around behind him as he slowly begins panicking we're proud to launch one of our most challenging projects to date the uncensored Library oh I've heard of this we've built a virtual library in Minecraft which bypasses press censorship in a press of regimes our library is filled with censored articles journals and information on press Freedom fortunately Minecraft is still accessible in these countries so our virtual library creates a back door which allows Gamers worldwide to reach this material find out more at this website and built by blockworks absolutely wonderful circumvent all that BS nothing makes me happier than seeing people circumvent oppressive governments as those oppressive governments learn that respect is earned not deserved my fracking sister got me $50 in singles and wrapped each individual dollar good job it's not as bad as a bouquet of singles but it's pretty bad watch Florida man steal a car realize baby isn't it draws baby off safely before making his getaway he's more responsible than whoever left a baby in a car alone okay I don't I don't know the entire story but the way this reads it seems like the car was carjacked but maybe the car was also just running in a parking lot I don't know good guy well done being nice is so easy just do it positive graffiti I approve the first thing our new hire did was fix a bug that's been bugging him forever as a user prior to joining he then breathed a sigh of relief and submitted 2 weeks notice what the Frack I've heard this story before I don't know if it's just being copied what but this is also something I would do because so many apps don't support text to speech I would work there until all of the text was selectable bya text of speech and then I would leave I worked at McDonald's for 2 and A2 years and I put 11 nuggets in almost every 10 piece I made Cody you are a hero thinking about the homeless man in Austin who I used to pay $15 to wash my car while I went out and one night I came back and all the cars around mine were broken into except mine and he was sitting on on my hood and said I ain't let him touch this one miss Kenzie oh my God that's that's kind of magical I'm also glad that you were giving money to him to like to do something that's just a positive trans I like this a 27-year-old Jackson Mississippi man was arrested over the weekend for hacking into the Hines hins County Human Services Department and approving all applications for food stamps after approving the applications he then had cards mailed out to new applicants all totaling $2,500 each current C holders were also awarded 2,500 credits his bond was set at $100,000 and has since bonded out more in the story tonight at 1 p.m. Fox News more in the story tonight on how the entire town is just going to fund this man's lawyer and trial and he better get off scott magical hey secret police if you ever kidnap me and throw me in a rental van I will snit so bad inside that van I sorry I hope you unconstitutional Ares are ready to pay $1,700 to get my grown man feces out of that Chrysler Pacifica and whatnot that's a defense a bank robber named Pretty Boy Floyd was known for destroying mortgage papers on heists freeing hundreds of people from property debt what a beautiful man most of those hostile designed Benes to keep homeless people from sleeping in public they are usually just regular benches with the bar in the middle middle attached later with a few heck nuts and bolts not welded in other words you can get them off with practically any wrench that fits I have Liber been liberating my parks in my city all day now takes maybe a few minutes for each bench the only problem is finding a place to dispose of the junk bar when you're done without loading trash cans past capacity anyway it's easy it's helpful and it's practice I'm not looking for a job but I send out applications periodically just so I can ask about the salary range and tell them it's too low no matter what it is doing my part to get the rest of you paid aw that's kind of wonderfully sweet 1989 a 15-year-old boy in Indiana who acquired the Alias fry guy accessed the main frame of McDonald's main frame uh after acquiring the password from a store manager and increased the pay rates of his friends who worked there wonderful beautiful and excellent the single most important thing a man can do to be an ally is give his woman's woman friends permission to give dudes at the bar his number so when they call he can angrily say that's not funny because she died 15 years ago that very night oh wow oh that's a that's a mood killer that's excellent group of furries beat a person who was assaulting a homeless man and his dog good work furry I hope they never find the body my annoying landlord I pay this Brit $1,800 every fracking month and all she does is complain about is making too much noise walking around so I bought a dog whistle and blow it all hours of the day and night now I complain how much her dog barks and keeps me up that's the ultimate Petty move and I applaud you I applaud you but I also feel bad for the dog I wish we could communicate to the dog that like everything's fine just please annoy the hell out of your landlord my ex-girlfriend had a few too many shots of tequila in a party and passed out on the couch when I went to check her I noticed she pissed all over the couch to avoid embarrassment I filled up a bucket with water and threw it over her to disguise it as a prank I'm That Kind of boyfriend she still has no idea now that's a chaotic gun chaotic evil pissing all over her to disguise the fact that she pissed herself there's always one he used Snapchat's gender switch filter to pose as a 16-year-old girl online and take down a police officer allegedly looking to hook up he tipped off the PD and the officer was arrested our exclusive interview with the man and while he did it at 11: on NBC bay area good job good freaking job after many [ __ ] the first black female postmaster was pressured out of her P Post in Mississippi president Theodore Roosevelt continued to pay her salary and punished the town by rerouting their m 30 m away until they gave her back the position daddy Roosevelt is just such a mad lad I love him the more random people you see jogging for no reason the higher the rent is going up this is so true I heard a gunshot coming from my neighbor's yard late at night a few weeks after I moved in I went to check it out when I approached him he told me he does it once every month or so just to keep the broader property value and taxes at a reasonable level I'm used to it now that's that's beautiful ancient evil awakens morals and alxs have changed so much in the last 10,000 years that the ancient evil is considered pretty moderate by today's standards I will topple your Empires and your kings I will drain the wealth from your coffers and elevate your surfs and servants until they stand on the same ground as the mightiest of Emperors women shall freely speak their Minds Unbound by the feathers you have set and the lines between man and woman shall be hopelessly blurred and shattered into a thousand facets your children shall fall into one another regardless of sex or class or wealth and None Shall raise a hand or word against them the age of crowns and boundaries and divine right shall end and it shall fall to each human to choose their wait wait wait why are you cheering I'm the host of a yet another HGTV show about renovating houses for rich people and when the couple comes to see their new beachfront property I lead them to the door in blindfolds and then I have them remove them and open their front door and behind it is nothing the entire house is gone I tell them I use the budget to restore the crucial sand dunes ecosystem that existed there before look I say there's native Coastal strawberry the wife asks this that this is a joke the husband starts crying I tell them both this was in the waiver they signed they leave I get ready for my next property actually kind of in favor of this for beaches still think you have a high risk of being shot three cheers for Daniel Elder a Stanford educated lawyer who is showing up at beaches Across America in full Grim Reaper attire to protest that they're opening up prematurely in the middle of of a pandemic amazing please don't die of heat stroke I am slightly mixed on this one because I uh I fail to see how you can actually close a beach that part just never compute it's a beach it is the sea are just let Poseidon know nobody's allowed on the coast like if the entrance to that beach is closed find another entrance and you walk to it it is a beach you can't close it a man who had a few too many alcoholic beverages ordered an Uber for a baby Goldfinch that he found struggling on the ground the baby bird was the sole passenger on the ride to a wildlife re what a wonderful man so the company we pay our rent to sent a very condescending mass email to all tenants about paying rent and forgot to BCC all emails and now all the tenants have started a rent strike well oh isn't technology a wonderful thing my bike was stolen last week and yesterday I saw it for sale on Craigslist so I messaged the seller met him at McDonald's and when I noticed it was 100% my bike I dumbly asked to take it for a ride he said yeah just don't ride off which is exactly what I did I stole my bike back good work my bike was stolen twice in New York and the first time our building superintendent actually saw it on the street somebody riding it and basically bullied the guy on it into admitting he stole it paid him $20 to get off the bike brought my bike back which was amazing and then it was stolen the next week and then I never saw it again thank you building superintendent I'm sorry it was for nothing I couldn't find this little girl's parents so I trapped her with Dinosaurs so she wouldn't run off while I find them this is this is chaotic neutral let's let's be honest like this is there there's some good there's some yeah I have been using spotify to secretly spy on my friend one my oldest friends names her Spotify playlists with specific names one of her playlists is called sad lady hours and every time I see her actively listening to it I shoot her a hopefully inconspicuous text asking what she is up to that I love her etc etc oh she never notices the pattern sad lady hours purest thing I've ever heard a girl's voice in game chat is more powerful than any US Marine fun story maybe when I was younger my brother was super duper into Cod and he is actually really freaking good at it so one day he gave me his mic headset and told me to talk while he was playing and it was wild the levels of salt that young men produce when under the impression that a little girl is destroying them in COD is a beautiful thing that is wonderful that is pure joy New Hope Church God says homosexuality is [Music] in Princess Diana broke the Royal rules for her son William by taking part in the Mother's Day running race at her son's school she won good for her although to be fair if I was racing against Princess Diana I'd probably hold it back a little cuz like I'm not going to be the one to like outrun Princess Diana West miror fire department caution cops like to sit behind this sign and there's one now city of Gainesville dumped loads of mulch on one of the skate parks in town see I grew up not that far from Gainesville so this does sound like something they would do someone posted free mold on Facebook and it was 100% gone by the rest of the day and blown clean with leaf blowers by citizens get worked Gainesville that's the Civil Disobedience I'm talking about yeah mulch is expensive I'm surprised they use mulch not sand considering Gainesville Florida they are a little Inland but still good job and free mulch kitten breaks his owner's earphone cable and returns with snake as replacement it ain't much but it's honest work it's so wholesome dog sneak out of kenle at night to comfort crying puppies oh we don't deserve dogs no we really don't we really don't probably chaotic neutral but I feel like art is enrichement so good to some me and the boys after to we vandalize you all if vandalism quote unquote vandalism if graffiti is good and somebody's put you know effort and stuff into the art I like it I I think it's kind of awesome the world needs more art if it's just a bunch of tags or somebody just like scribbling stupid crap yeah no burn that or paint it over it you are beautiful pepper spray a cop this is not a tip this is a gift and not subject to federal or state income taxes can I do this is this a thing I can do can can I tip normally on the on the receipt and then like add a Gi Oh my God I'm a long-haired native who doesn't steal so whenever I get followed in a store I keep the employee on my tail for as long as as possible to make it a little easier for people who need to steal to get what they need I can't outright like condone stealing but if if you are somebody who does then this is probably the best way to achieve your aims I respect the the intent our neighbor kindly came over to spread a grocery bag full of cigarette butts all over our porch today killery area I live on the street op is notorious for flicking their Sig butts on the roadway sidewalk this morning after sweeping up the crap oh sorry the sweeping up the guy in the vid blank volunteered to dump them on his doorstep after a discussion a few of us neighbors had about the issue I love this I love this so much okay I think I assembled all of that correctly I'm not actually sure about the rules of etiquette about this because both where I grew up and New York City people just flicked cigarette butts onto the sidewalk so if that's considered like serious littering yeah no this is perfectly warranted I I would still like mention it to the neighbor just be like hey can you not do this at least once before but I guess this gets a point across too I remember picking them apart like at the bus stop and stuff and they just fell apart in my hands so I I thought they just like disintegrated cuz they're like paper but I don't know I don't know these things did you guys know there is a biker gang called rescue Inc that breaks up dog fighting rings confronts animal abusers confiscated confiscates neglected animals and investigates stolen animals can can I can I run your like I don't know radio system or something I can't drive a bike but holy crap I would be so a part of this oh hiio has stopped kicking workers off an employment after a hacker targeted the State website used by employers to report employees who refus to report to work the hacker submitted huge volumes of junk data making it impossible to investigate workers I work in it so I can't officially condone this but any state that would have the goal to kick workers in need off of unemployment should probably be prepared for there to be some sort of response to that that's just how Society works if you do a Bad Thing another bad thing might happen that's all I'm going to say if you have an lgbtq phobic family member that merely tolerates you take them aside and explain how you have seen the light and are trying to be Cy head there are classes but they're expensive uh you want it to be a surprise to the rest of the family so need 8,500 to be straight yeah I I've noticed uh one of the only ways to win with the red hat Brigade is is just to Swindle them out of money because that seems to be what they're best for if you steal a giant sign out of the hands of anti-abortion protesters uh they'll call 911 and follow you down the street instead of harassing other women ask me how I know you magical mad lad thank you for making another clinic safe Billy Joe Armstrong is like the definition of chaotic good a prime example is of this is the fact that one time at a Green Day concert this guy in the pit was harassing a young girl so Billy stopped the show to help her however his way of doing so was to jump into the audience Drop Kick the guy directly in the face and then fight him in a crowd of screaming fans no no wait wait wait this is missing the best part when he saw the guy he tried to be like dude stop and when the man didn't stop pushing the girl around he screamed fine you want to fight I'll fracking fight you then and leapt directly into the crowd there's a reason Green Day was my favorite band in high school and Billy Joe Armstrong is it there's a reason Green Day is still in my top 10 bands this is one of them Andrew mck a storekeeper on a Minnesota Native American reservation refused to sell to Indians and told them to eat grass if they were hungry he was found dead on the first day of the Dakota war in 1862 with grass stuffed in his mouth and buttocks get tracked 100 but but he succeeded fig doctor arrested in Kenya after performing eight successful surgeries that's magical and wonderful and I'm glad you succeeded at e surgeries but I've also heard of tales of people going over there to just basically play doctor so I when Nestle refused to watch a documentary about the exploitation of African children in the Coco industry the documentary's director Micki mustari set up a giant screen next to Nestle's headquarters in Switzerland and played it there good job my foster mother that sent me to the conversion therapy wanted to visit me today and since she doesn't know how to work a GPS she asked me for directions and now a home girl is on her way to Niagara Falls if she drowns free tacos for everyone beautiful a Commonwealth Bank how about you service your fracking ATMs in Bunbury so punters like me will not have to tape fish to them so you have no choice but to come and fix them I have more fish and tape and will power oh I see and will power than your entire organization fix them now you know he's he's a little wonky on the spelling and grammar but he's got fish and tape and honestly I respect anyone who does uh text on bag reads as text on bag reads as this text has no other purpose than to terrify those who are afraid of the Arabic language why are people afraid of the Arabic Lang it's pretty I don't know it I will probably never know it I barely pass Spanish but it's very pretty UK chef Jamie Brooks lost 294 lb 133 kg in just 12 months after friend texted him fat Frack every you know sometimes you do need a little push I've had to have my friends beat me over the head a little to get stuff done sometimes sometimes you need it Thief returns after stealing woman's car yells at her for leaving 4-year-old son Al alone in vehicle imagine getting lectured by a car thief and him being right question mark someone broke into my grandma's house while she was gone and shaved the matted fur off her cat I want to emphasize that the cat was the only thing altered here would also like to add that this occurred sometime between 11:00 p.m. and 9:00 a.m. we have no leads the cat's fine and probably appreciates not having a huge mat on its neck but like that's a really weird kind of vigilante justice still chotic good M's Tavern loneliest man in the world speaking is it Mr Handsome there first initials I am I am handsome thank you Bart I really needed that today a I don't know if this is from an actual episode but I I really hope it is my dad used to live in a really bad area growing up surrounded by a lot of gangs and uh he told me that there was this kind openly gay boy that used to T tutor all the gang leaders for free and one day a homophobe insulted him and F five gangs found out and went to go beat him up you are a bad guy but this does not mean you are a bad guy an old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey he wanted to plant his annual tomato garden but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard his only son Vincent who used to help him was in prison the old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament dear Vincent I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot I know if you were here my troubles would be over I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me like in the old days of Papa a few days later he received a letter from his son dear papa don't dig up that Garden that's where the bodies are buried love Vinnie at 4:00 a.m. the next morning FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bones they apologized to the old man and left that same day the old man received another letter from his son dear papa go ahead and plant the tomatoes now that's the best I could do under the circumstances love you Vinnie that's magical I'm not sure it's real because I don't think they would have let the letter actually go through but still magical

Channel: EmKay

Views: 411,114

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, compilation, Chaoticgood

Id: Li1OA3PcUi0

Length: 78min 11sec (4691 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 02 2023