THE BEST OF r/DANKMEMES

Spotify watch a short video to get 30 minutes free of ads me no thanks gets ad anyways angry not even to mention you're probably still going to get crap tons of ads in between women's perfume Rose fog lilac Mist men's deodorant Harden bark Arctic charcoal Africa people who let the microwave beep people who take their food out at 1 second yeah I'm sorry we're just better than you and we know it my bones after falling down the stairs as a kid my bones after falling asleep on the couch at 20 you might need to drink some more milk or something Karen when her kids bully other kids Karen when her kids face the consequences of bullying other kids you can't pretend to be a good parent and turn a blind eye to your child being an actual piece of garbage to other people my favorite character dying my girlfriend me look it's important okay me when I read my old chats oh God that hits so close to home if I go back far enough on my Twitter account I cringe all the way down to my bone marrow me after discovering Reddit are you okay yes but I can never have children now brother I did not need Reddit for that colar blind man solves Rubik's Cube in 5 seconds I did that once I felt so good about myself didn't break any world records though redditors when they add made with depression in their memes welcome to downtown coolsville when your mate Dan goes vegan the closer we are to Dan the farther we are from Ham people when they become 14 years old life is good but it can be deeper much much deeper my mom when she sees me laugh after the doctor told her I have depression oh so that was a freaking lie depression's not real so saith the old people when the doctor gives you a year to live so you kill him and the judge gives you 60 years future to the back that's one way to cheat God cashier first name guy Robin last name the bank are you Robin De Bank no the good ending yes this happens to me every single time I go to the store when I discover new music on my own when someone else suggests something that I might enjoy isn't that a horrible feeling we think we know each other but we seem to be so bad at suggesting things we think our friends might like students who can't think of any more examples Etc oh thank you Etc you always padded the word count plenty somehow small fly please well this definitely isn't a McDonald's for ants media comparing Gamers to serial killers me knowing I don't deserve to be compared to a gamer hey whoo whoa whoo we're all Gamers Gamers dude I'm so tired then go to sleep hey wait a minute ah yes the two genders feeman and mailman mailman reasons why Godzilla should win reasons why Kong should win monkey I don't know cing Kong jump at that mofo with a giant battle axe he's seemingly crafted out of broken buildings makes me think he's got a better chance than I originally thought plus I just I I don't feel like the giant lizard's going to be able to jump and hop around quite as efficiently as is a humongous gorilla girls uses five different shampoos hair conditioner and moisturizers boys after using engine oil in their hair yes drink it in ladies when your friends are planning what to do next and you just want to go home and just say you want to go home it's not hard they're your friends right just go me my teacher giving more homework as a punishment won't make the children do their homework oh homework it makes no freaking sense it's been a long day of working kid you deserve a break so I'm going to give you way more work than I made you do today and you have to get it done at home by tomorrow have fun not sleeping Ferb this one's looking at both of us at the same time chattering oh you know we've gone deep when we got a chess meme memers same joke with another template another joke with the same template H same joke with same template although the US may have a new president this does not change the fact that there are 48 million kangaroos in Australia and only 3 4 million inhabitants in Uruguay so if the kangaroos decide to invade Uruguay each Uruguayan will have to fight 14 kangaroos that's a weird thought might make a really good movie say Karen one more time she's an angry Karen King Kong Godzilla a nuclear creature that can freaking explode and breathe lasers it's going to be an interesting Showdown for sure one of these guys is either going to get a bull crap Nerf or a really bull crap buff in order to win and it's going to be exciting either way the level 55 guy with the highest bounty in war zone you took everything from me the level three guy named Martin cool 287 who managed to run him over with a vehicle I don't even know who you are you will are you going to sleep yes I am now shut up breathing has been set to manual oh God it has no I got to think about it you can't defeat me I know but he can but he couldn't it's not his fault it's absolutely not his fault at all it's ours my parents lecturing me about memes they found on my phone me realizing this will make a great meme the great ones they just they just sort of come to you you know memes now memes in 2010 I do prefer the chaotic energy of memes back then there was a certain extra level of crudeness to them you know any meme blows up redditors the next day good morning sunshine mematic pay to remove Watermark me no hard to swallow pills nuclear energy is one of the best options available to fight climate change unfortunately people are far too scared of it because it look spooky and Chernobyl happened that one time and yes I'm very aware that Chernobyl wasn't the only time there was ever a large scale nuclear disaster however it just so happen to be the biggest and it's the one that everybody uses as an argument against continuing to invest and make nuclear power safer and better to save the world Biden tell me your last name Obama for the last time my last name is Obama bull crap tell me your actual last name well this one sucks subscribe to my only fans no thanks it's 30% off today it's the biggest discount I've ever given please no non-americans who know that Joe Biden won't have as many meme formats or templates as the orange man this has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals maybe ever finally the origin I always wondered where he was born or came from what book uh brain hurt emergency lights park anywhere anator oh yeah we're all going to use them for that reason look if you're going to stop somewhere for 30 seconds to do something real quick and you don't put these on I'm going to be even more mad PC turned on PC turned off yeah now sorry can't relate I don't do that RGB crap anymore it's just not fun I mean don't get me wrong it used to be plenty fun and I used to like it a lot but nowadays dud just give me stuff that works and lasts a long time unlike RGB crap look at this photograph of a photographer taking a photograph of a man holding a photograph singing about looking at this Photograph vegans who don't eat pork because pigs are beautiful innocent creatures Jews and Muslims who don't eat pork because pigs are filthy and disgusting they can be pretty gross although if you look at any animal we farm specifically to eat they're all pretty nasty not their fault it's the conditions we keep them in Trump supporters thinking I'm one of them for saying Biden is not my president me whose president is Frank Walter steinm Hey Barry go ahead and bring your controller over to the sleepover tonight I paid the movers extra to get the PS5 hooked up in the Oval Office what is he doing bicep curls jeez next thing you know he's going to be flexing on all of us by drinking water with one hand huh websites that allow you to customize what information they can collect and share websites with a reject all button does it actually work though bank teller first name Robin the bank teller you know I feel like we saw this one a little earlier it's just shorter and more to the point it's actually just funnier in general though also no I'm not robbing any banks leave me alone the zoom lecture starts at 8:00 so I can stay in bed until 7:45 actually I could just join the lecture half an hour later I could just read the lecture notes later and stay in bed for now dude just get up my dad angry that we're running late me too scared to tell him I forgot my school bag me changes VPN to Denmark Uruguay Morocco Vietnam New Zealand and then Mars hot singles in my area parkour people who say half a dozen me who just says six Google feeds on personal data me hey that's illegal there's a speed camera 2 miles ahead understandable have a nice day the sounds I make when stretching demon monster ambience in horror games I think yall need to go visit some surgeons or something my mom allows me to play 10 more minutes her 2 minutes later surprise we're going home now Terraria is a game for kids golden shower morning wood Master bait allow us to introduce ourselves so what if a game's made for kids if it's fun it's fun shut up companies that offer free trials companies that offer a free trial without asking for a credit card seriously those are the Real G's number of Miss Universe titles W Earth 6 too the rest of the universe zero this is why no one wants to talk to us little cousins point at Reddit what's that app me super vergin stuff you wouldn't understand chicken crosses the road everyone tell me why no really why why did that chicken cross the road oh he probably just wanted to get to the other side guys women when men make fun of big women women when women make fun of short men hey man I can't change my height all right Boomers these children don't know what good for him also Boomers we don't really care what's good for him screw you I like my girls thicker than Joe's Bible dang okay remember class anything can be art except what Bob Drew today Bob has created a freaking Masterpiece the man always did Steve Harvey name a ball that you would play with contestant buzzes in a testicle the contestant's family good answer me give me a free scholarship college no I can ye a ball really far you son of a I'm in I can also take a concussion like a champ I'm even more in older generation kids these days are always using technology also them oh well that doesn't make me very happy at all why is this a stock photo is this staged God I hope this is a staged thing my dad catches me in the fridge at 2:00 a.m. me high as hell father I crave the cheddar yeah Zach's caught me a couple times at 3:00 a.m. shoving shredded cheese into my mouth over the sink like some kind of rat man I don't regret it POV waking up at 4:00 a.m. in the morning when the TV is still on in 2001 yeah I remember that although it wasn't 2001 it was 2004 oh no I am getting old there you go please all right that's one coming right up PE PE when I'm alone pee PE when I'm in a public place for no reason you never grow out of it either I mean maybe when you're 70 but we've got a ways to go after all these years finally I have the M friend how are you so good at waking up in the morning me at 5:00 a.m. after setting my alarm tone to Dark Souls boss music that video game finally f13 damn how long you been working on that improve working conditions nah dude we'll give them a despair closet this was a while ago though the r/ anti-work mod showing off their bathing technique on Fox News what an embarrassment dude me getting ready to go to work knowing someone sold a JPEG of an ape for $439,000 taxes though still a lot someone medieval art is so beautiful and elegant meanwhile medieval art I mean some of it was beautiful and elegant I guess every sexuality Under the godamn Sun ass you're godamn right and don't you forget it you abandoned your kid because you're irresponsible I abandoned my kid to give him a cool backstory we're not the same I mean I guess technically you're right cartoon characters after eating a [Laughter] bomb yeah I'll give you that one we want to try and Galvanize as many men and boys as possible me wondering why she wants to apply a coating of zinc on men and boys wait what when you hear what's going on in North America USA no what oh sorry force of habit Canada no people thinking that sea levels are rising because of global warming me trying not to tell them that it's just me going for a swim with my humongous dick well you should have said something causing Mass hysteria and it's just been your this whole time people who keep waste in Pocket until they find bin we get dirty and the world stays clean people need to learn how to type I'm just saying man when you get a heavy discount in Black Friday you what Walmart did you buy these women at me wanting to do the dishes even though I don't have to Mom can you do the dishes please me frustration area dude I need a frustration area in the house dream stands explaining why sexualizing dream and his younger sister is okay people who have a father figure in common sense God the dream thing really just span out a bol hit ass control didn't it everything's gross everything involved why do all the helmets your crew is wearing on your job site look brand new wouldn't you like to know fed boy yes I don't judge Boys by their height how can you tell damn sorry I was looking it bro I almost gave a oh man the I don't give a challenge really do be heating up this year any sane person you think this is funny redditors commenting not my proudest on the mosted up stuff well believe me it was kind of funny the first 18 billion times but yeah it did kind of fall off homosexuality was still classified as an illness in Sweden until 1979 swedes protested by calling in sick to work claiming they felt gay homophobic problems require gay Solutions and boy oh boy that's my favorite one people in Gotham suburbs watching the city descend into chaos for the 4,383 time why do the criminals stay in Gotham dude if that's where Batman is move to Detroit or LA or something people in America did you just insult my culture I'm 5% Italian oh OMG I'm so sorry people in Europe I hate you me too yeah that's just as good totally oh yeah it's it's racism is better in Europe friends so what kinds of do you watch me it's complicated secretary and boss enjoy healthy working relationship man I love Ryan creamer still holding it in be like looking up how to do a TV interview tutorial on YouTube with the dislikes removed man it just makes me sad my boss promoting me to head of IT me who just closed Microsoft Word with task manager hey look if it works man there you go Italian president explicitly saying that he doesn't want to be reelected Italians reelecting him if he didn't want to be re-elected why the on the ballot though does it work differently there if you're not running you're not running it's okay if he simps for me I'm his girlfriend it's only cringe to s for someone who doesn't even know you exist I mean yeah that yeah yeah we'll go with that Barbie Johnny Sins excelling at multiple careers who did it better that's the true question the internet has yet to answer people with energy drinks we'll never sleep again just party me with energy drinks why the hell hasn't this killed me yet if you guys look closely that's beer and that looks like a Gatorade there are no energy drinks in this meme it's so crazy unated rich people annual meeting well I I don't know I feel like there's a couple that are unated I can understand Mr Beast enough but there are a few there have to be right I'm going to think on this and get back to you guys at some point in the future imagine having small Lego piece 32557 this post was made by Lego piece 98 989 gang oh penises right my mom with a loud voice me with facts and logic you know that phrase has really started to get kind of awful H me with facts and logic I've got a sneaky suspicion you were not logical or factual in any of your arguments even though I do know moms be like that how my brain records good memories at 144p cringe memories at 4K desexualize the green &m no no no sexualize the other M&M's it's time for the sexy blue one if your credit card number is how much money you have how much money would you have how much for this rad nft $12 million what the huh you're such a dumb animal why are you staring at me like that wow wow 35 million each what the actual dude best scam in forever bro nerds on the internet billionaires who don't care about anybody yeah it's theing worst dude it's so creepy and gross we shall Grant you the rank of Wi-Fi connection but will not connect you to the internet this is outrageous it's unfair how can you be connected to Wi-Fi but have no internet because a Wi-Fi network is not the internet it is a wireless network which you are connected to that's it bro got to get that Gateway if you want to get out POV you're walking behind a girl on the stairs redditors in 2069 when China has taken over the world and now they're all in prison because they made jokes about social credit hey whoo be careful man my hairline isn't receding it's as good as the Queen's the Queen's hairline oh she looks great though honestly me reading the book my teacher reading the book the teachers were always just better man when you kick a stone on the road and it hits a little child yeah AI robot programmed to give ethical advice turns racist and homophobic after studying 1.7 million real life examples the AI robot uh-oh no no stop Ultron was right redditors on their way to spam bread in the comments section be like it's showtime when you talk your way out of a speeding ticket into a death penalty chaa real smooth now it's 2011 you pull up to class wearing an Angry Bird's t-shirt iHeart boobies wristbands and can be heard blasting Party Rock Anthem on your fourth gen iPod I really hate this one me Circa 2057 on Facebook's metaverse breaking into Ubisoft nft Museum to steal all their nfts please nfts aren't going to make it to 2057 you know that scams have a shelf life my friend Joe contracted ligma yesterday so he couldn't go to sohon today his friends Ben Willis and Wilma were very angry Yuri and Yuro didn't care and so did Candice his sug and's friends boa and sugma were very supportive I had a stroke reading that stroke my balls dude that was great me gives Grandma a birthday present her an Alzheimer's patient whoever you are thank you me walking out of an American restaurant after not tipping because we don't do that in Europe me later on when I find out that waiters in America are horribly paid and have to survive off of tips what why wasn't I told yeah I don't know why you weren't told but uh we're working on that now actually don't you worry okay bro I touched the grass do the girls just naturally come to me or uh uh what yeah you have to give about 30 to 48 days though on average no free trial 30-day free trial unlimited free trial could have sworn Disney plus had one but it's only like 7 Days POV you are a Russian soldier battle day is started against Ukraine guys it's not looking good am I so out of touch no I'm smart the users are stupid and wrong we will literally never listen to them ever because we never have got to be consistent let's see Tony Stark's card look at that subtle off-white coloring and tasteful thickness of it oh my God it even has a watermark the six girls Yol dat in college me after reaching College where are they oh the internet lied to you yet again I don't remember what YouTube looks like without ad block maybe I should deactivate a little bit to help this one YouTuber that I like more ads than a shady pirate anime website never again it's really not that freaking bad guys holy crap now of course as somebody that likes to make ad Revenue every now and then I'm a little biased here but no it's not that bad man you want to see bad ads go to speedtest.net people who can tell which letter comes next without singing the alphabet song Einstein Newton yeah I don't know how they do that though sick and tired of people out here flexing their intelligence upon lower imbeciles like myself the anime the Netflix adaptation yeah for real what the hell's going on with that guy's mask though God so hook you up with all the free stuff just don't oh come on Eve for God's sake the hate you give he I've excuse me newborn lion baby cubs mom come pick me up I'm scared newborn baby turtles talalla turtles are badass dude come on we know this although I'd be a little bit tougher too if I was born with a shield that encased my entire body when someone hands you their baby and it's ugly as hell Oh you mean every single time I think in my entire life I have only seen maybe three babies that I thought were actually cute the rest of the time I'm like well he's small I'll give him that I guess gaming laptops you guys always act like you're better than me gaming desktops consoles space heaters oh God especially for the price man $11,000 will get me one heck of a gaming desktop but $11,000 is only going to get me an okayish gaming laptop angels in movies angels in the Bible I don't know why but I definitely itely prefer the biblically accurate Angels there's something horrifying about them yet they tell you to be Not Afraid getting rickrolled the whole day it's Rick's birthday therefore it's okay I never minded getting Rick Rolled I would have been more annoyed if the song sucked that would have been funnier but no it's a good song so I don't mind having an excuse to listen to it girl at school shows shoulder or ankle boys according to the school teachers wa dang where can I get a penis snowblower what kind of jobs you had before doctor plumber firefighter you're hired welcome aboard you're going to be in a myriad of content from all over the genre Spectrum Netflix autop playing everything I look at me trying to browse Netflix yo yeah Netflix you got to chill man four things you can't choose your parents your nationality your soulmate and the president of Russia hey whoa whoa whoa whoa whoo you most certainly can choose your parents all right you can't choose who births you but you can definitely choose your parents me about to finally get my ding-dong in the Guinness Book of World Records the librarian putting a stop to it oh you meant like oh I see I bet I could get mine in the Book of World Records guess which record I would hold I got an extra controller for you the extra controller dude whenever I was handed the Afterglow controller at a friend's house I knew I was in good hands those were far superior to the first party controllers okay and you can fight me on that one just remember I'm 6'3 weigh over 200 lb and I will sit on you so I think I got a pretty good shot at winning that argument color blind people be like select your country oh no see color blind folks like myself have to go by shapes yeah it's really great everyone knows that Jesus is dead because he got crucified Jesus 3 days later oh my God it's him he's back when you peel the Crusty layer of lip and blood doesn't come out oh God oh man it's so highly relatable but it really shouldn't be relatable at all you feel what I'm saying you get what I'm laying down I mean lip balm isn't that expensive right we could all start moisturizing a little more when mom sees your Fitness tracker and finds out you took 3,000 steps at 2 a.m. stum makes no sense dude 3,000 why is it taking you so damn long to get finished up no one people with asthma when they can't find their inhaler oh yep they they just die dude I have a Nintendo DS I'm a gamer with dual monitors damn straight you are Americans watching 22 people throw a brown lemon-shaped ball back and forth for 3 hours and out of that 3 hours you get about 12 minutes of actual game time the rest of it is just watching people getting paid millions of dollars a year to speak to each other don't get me wrong I've enjoyed football a couple of times in my life because the funny ads came on screen in between the boring bits too much electronics are bad for you online learning for 7 hours schools yeah they're run by people with a fundamental misunderstanding of how humans work scientists have taught spinach to send emails making the covid vaccine curing cancer teaching spinach to send emails the important stuff huh when your brother doesn't let you play with his gaming console so you replace his blanket with a square one and he can't find the longer side I don't like to feel good I like to feel evil you're a dirty rotten scoundrel you know that absolutely despicable Satan student copies be like which European country does this flag represent oh that's mean I have no idea Americans are asleep quick post pictures of real football you son of a me annoyed with my online teammate H why do I always get crappy teammates my teammate I'm sorry bro I just bought the game yesterday I'm still learning I forgive you oh that's the most unrealistic thing in the world I'm pretty sure people like this don't exist in the online gaming communities at large usually you just call me gay and say you screwed my mom my friend over there says you're cute their friend well well well why don't you tell your friend I'm incredibly intimidated but that's not a bad thing in this case giving me some serious Resident Evil vampire mommy Vibes two historical figures of the same sex historians I diagnose you with good friends they were roommates me finally having time to play video games playing terribly and not having fun this is why I don't do that multiplayer stuff anymore unless it's strictly Cooperative 50 bucks and I'll do whatever you want give me $100 oh Florida is basically just a massive GTA server change my mind well I think the reason we think that is just because it's the number one retirement community at large in the entirety of the United States plus you got to remember the reason Florida is always at the Forefront of these crazy headlines and news articles is because technically they're an open record State everything and I mean everything is open to the public at least in terms of County and Municipal records that's right I'm very fun at parties World War II games when you're German for a mission agent Hitler FBI screw Godzilla versus Kong all my homies want honk versus Bon I'm going to give the edge to the goose when you start getting horny thoughts in public please stop brain I can't do this not today please just been stabbed where's the nearest hospital when you get a new cat from Ikea oh yep got to get that head secure did it come with the right screws and bolts I see all of these European countries are coming together yet again for oh then there's Italy boys who don't regret after jerking off philosophers Saints I think the regret comes from what was getting you off in the first place so you're pretty justified in feeling regret depending on what was was going on in your brain or what was going on on your monitor I'm looking at you Daman this touchdowns for you Jesus meanwhile Jesus is just chilling watching some Shrek guys got some good taste crippling porn addition 11-year-old me searching boobs as a joke it has to start somewhere you most likely were made on a bed born on a bed and will die on a bed lazy ass excuse me Bobby I'm going to kick your ass the Ratatouille liveaction adaptation for Disney plus is looking pretty lit actually that does look amazing I want to see it I think we can get all these fine folks and literally any Rat together and we can pull this off people using incognito mode for PornHub people using normal Google search for PornHub people who have PornHub apps on their phone's home screen power move wait they have an app oh I feel like my whole world view just changed give me a couple minutes I've got something I need to do how it feels when you switch from regular Mayo to light halftime show ends memers to the computer me stirs The Nest quii the milk god that transformation freaks me out more every single time I see it who let her lay on the beach for so long Mountain Dew just spent millions of dollars to show a bottle floating in midair hey guys get it get it it's cuz John Cena's invisible in other news completely I really wish that that flavor of Mountain Dew was better than it is it's quite not good and as a licensed Mountain Dew connoisseur yeah that's all I got I just wanted to say that I was a licensed Mountain Dew connoisseur what you don't believe me come on I'll add it to my Twitter bio I've been taking my Mountain Dew flavors super seriously ever since the first contest to vote on the next flavor I'm one of the ones that helped voltage get voted in Man movie critics before writing a 2,000-word essay on why a movie about a giant lizard and a big monkey beating each other has bad character development this is why I don't listen to anything critics have to say anymore they're clearly smart and knowledgeable about movies and all sorts of things in that field but but why is it so bad to just enjoy a movie why is it so hard to enjoy a movie it can't be this difficult right and furthermore if your ass is going to see Godzilla versus Kong and you expect any crazy amazing writing and character development maybe that's on you dude big lizard punch monkey monkey kick lizard lizard do nuclear breath lizard win I heard he can remember his grandson's name on most days well then when you re realize that today is the Queen's 69th anniversary of her being on the throne oh she's going to outlive every single one of us I swear not safe for work on porn not safe for work on anything else still my least favorite image on the internet read it when I post a slightly offensive joke and you got to be careful man this is the internet we're talking about here a plant develops an irritating self-defense mechanism first person eating onions I'll freaking do it again when you think you have one fruit snack left but feel the package and realize they're all gone oh oh I did not need you to bring that painful memory back into my brain thanks for that how much do you weigh 132 kilo you're hired school's PE Department oh uh thanks for the conversion there great either way it makes complete sense me after meeting an American where pew pew oh that's back at home underneath my pillow the freshest thing in this kitchen is that pigeon I remember that episode and he was totally right pigeon probably had less bacteria on it as well given what was going on in that kitchen dude Americans when the trees start speaking Vietnamese Russians when the snow starts speaking finish my parents when I start speaking a valid point straight up until you move out of the house you are not allowed to be smarter than your parents it's just a freaking law of nature apparently when you forget to bring your phone to the toilet so you start philosophizing without my cookies I'm just a monster always have been your online girlfriend sends you nudes for the first time time it's just pictures of a porn star she is the porn star on the one hand you got to watch your girlfriend having sex with a bunch of different people for money but on the other hand she's probably making enough money to be your sugar mommy I'd say it's a decent trade-off here me showing my crush porn that proves that tall women can screw short dudes I think Resident Evil really awoke a lot of things in the online community recently and I'm very very proud me says a joke my uncle wear racism or sexism when you don't know anyone at the party yeah I'm sorry that's not me man if you actually get me to go to a party I will talk with everybody I mean come on you said you'd go enjoy yourself a little bit hey free alcohol drink up bud every pickle since 2017 be like my name's not Rick USA finally has no protests and riots for a week Russia okay my turn got to go to bed now I have school tomorrow all right see you tomorrow same time oh that hurts that really really does Roses are red children are a pain no trespassing violators will be shot survivors will be shot again when you're going to sleep and you remember a cringy thing you did years ago that never stops we probably be 80 years old thinking about the dumb crap we did Godzilla about to use his Atomic breath attack against King Kong King Kong shut how much you want to bet mofo is going to figure out a way to muzzle the lizard then that might even things up a a little bit me and the boys when the game releases a free skin you're damn right don't worry guys let me handle this I have the skin the science teacher saying that the three states of matter are solid gas and liquid the smart kids saying that plasma is also a state of matter me who knows that there are also other states like New York Washington Alabama Florida and so on my gay friend is in a room with a girl me wouldn't that make you straight all the good grades you had parents that one subject yep do bad in even one little area and they'll never give a crap about your successes again I suck at my teaching job study hard most people don't pass my class yep that's exactly what that means dude what better way to completely own the classroom as the professor and to let everybody know that you suck absolute ass at it since you Americans have one joke about Britain and quite frankly we're getting tired of it why not make fun of something else like our PM tackling a small Japanese child still one of my favorite photos ever taken me wondering why my friend stopped laughing at my impression of my teacher my teacher teacher the test won't be that hard the test Never Going To Give You Up make you cry say goodbye let you down toddlers after finding the front-facing camera on your phone having a new teammate is better than having a toxic and cocky teammate absolutely no need to change your mind there teacher what's the most toxic thing in the world the smart kid saying it's botulinum toxin me who knows it's Twitter you know the best thing in the world about social media is that for the most part they do still let you curate a lot of what you see Disney has an attractive girl play an ugly character by wearing glasses everyone actually she's still attractive with glasses on Disney I said she ugly today day seven of no nut November I've gained the ability to post memes in the future timeline damn nice one my guy Amazon on wish oh God that dude ain't from wish spent like what what was it $24 million to have that thing embedded in his face definitely not wish not that that makes the whole situation any better mind you what comes after 360 one you're hired I don't know what Microsoft has been smoking since 2014 but they have absolutely lost their minds with the naming schemes of these consoles any other websites double tap zoom Reddit app double tap zoom wait until people discover that Brazil exist yes you're going to veril let's see creativity problem solving here we are how to have fun when you're poor okay let's see what's this hallucinations all right well okay how many years would you get if the FBI finally got you for all those pirated games and shows yeah come on now genuine question I'm actually curious if you all have like pirated games growing up as badly as I did which I didn't though I I didn't I'm not please don't come for me when your mother-in-law insists to let her make the salad oh looks like I caught your mother cursing the food again I'm just going to order I don't talk with girls because I'm shy I'm shy and introverted I'm shy and introverted because I had a rough past experience with girls I'm shy and introverted and I believe I will offend them just by talking what the hell did you say to me oh no the council has decided your fate death after you feed us yeah and none of the dry stuff ew yeah no not that babe you forgot your Teletubby's phone for a very valid reason Tiana there is an update it only takes 10 minutes football basketball American football me picking what to put at the bottom of this meme there I am hello me nice butt bottom text girls be like the girl who asked me what time it is me with a marriage proposal a day later we could be perfect gentlemen it's time we address the elephant in the room first off stopus isn't technically an elephant and he happens to be a friend of mine you drive an SUV so you can drive your friends and family around I drive an SUV so that Florida sinks into the ocean faster we are not the same when your friend has you over for dinner but their cooking sucks isn't it good yeah like the the fattiness in the Nutella is like canel out by the acidity in the tomato sauce it's the that crazy sensation you're tasting in your mouth right now is so good Barber what kind of haircut do you want I want to protect my virginity say no more I give you beetles haircut because nobody liked them nope they weren't desirable by a tons of women watch is do strange for Elizabeth Olsen watch is Dr Strange hoping to see Iron Man suit mark 16 me coming into your house about to pour a big cup of your juice hey yo where that good guzzle that make me go cck cluck all the way down at yeah I got some watermelon juice if you want to try get out but this is my house you don't deserve it listening to the teacher repeat after me listening to some guy on YouTube explaining how to hide a body excellent yes accurate wonderful fanfic writers coming up with flaws for their Mary Sue characters bit of a slob isn't she what a unique and fascinating contradiction to her character because normally she's perfect in every single way possible but oh no she leaves a shirt on the floor oh will the love interest truly accept her as she is yes they will because I decide it me me going to bed early oh no having a me my dear in 4 months 2015 will be 18 years shut up shut up get the get the hell out of here shut up I know the math is wrong I don't care that still makes me think about the fact that 2005 will be 18 years ago shut up the '90s was just over a decade ago and you can't prove me otherwise Changers interface destroying years of muscle memory changes it back after people develop muscle memory for new interface I don't get it we're sink Pier sir nobody thinks we're environmentally friendly not to me now hurry up those things s going to sterilize themselves cryptocurrency crashing nft Bros bro no my digital money laundering scheme no me after sleeping 8 hours me after staying stay up all night clasp tired as freak when you hit some catnip and go to the Oldtown Road it's not at all surprising that there is someone who actually made a photo of this imagine being in a room with everyone you've had smacks with meanwhile me how strange there's nobody here that's H somebody must be wrong me the ex she said not to worry about ah yeah X got a big brain that or a lot of mental space my boss keeping us on to staffed and forcing me to do more work so she doesn't have to hire new people yes I'm the perfect manager by managing to not do any work myself and leave it up to the others to deal with oh hi my two weeks notice Society of people decided what to order before they got to the front of the line do you see do you see Jake why are you looking up the restaurant menu before we've even gotten there because I don't want to waste my time sorry I don't mean to be so harsh I go out to eat to eat not sit around waiting it's not a big deal it's just a little pet pave of mine Home Depot employee sorry sir it seems we're out of that color my dad I find your lack of paint disturbing dad stop choking him sorry force of habit oh it's okay I'm really sorry no really it's okay no stop it my powers are intimidating when you finally signed the divorce papers said you notice one of your Ex-Wives boobies is hanging out what a such a stupid specific circumstance nonetheless I should very much like to hold it again one last time not exactly a healthy relationship if you relate to boo boos as a you know ring that gives cursed addiction when your parents and their friends get drunk while partying just a casual Friday night not sure how to react to your parents acting this way why is Dad jumping on the couch he always tells you not to do that why is Mom doing that dance she normally does with your dad to your Dad's friend why is the cat a part of this too what's going on JF okay history John F Kennedy my brain just freaking kidding some random dude in DC right now I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence I've always wanted to say that my ability to remain alert when I need to be alert bit creepy uncomfortable to look at an experience as compared to my ability to remain alert when I need to sleep ah you're at the moment of the day where you're expected to rest now but you don't feel like you've completed your day thoroughly cuz there's all these things that you said you were going to get done but you didn't end up getting done so now you're thinking about them all at once what did he do to get his right arm this buff a lot of one bag grocery runs from the car we are gathered here today to lay to rest a Fallen Friend in his great Conquest to Vanquish his enemies he unfortunately was not able to defeat every single foe it's time for your favorite Pokémon spin-off series better call sock who else can you trust to prove your innocence than a man who constantly just shouts his name over and over again men after they scratch their balls and then smell their fingers it's weird weird but I like it yeah pretty relatable huh yeah you yeah you think it is yeah so so you like the smell of balls huh like the smell of balls in your face just going to take a quick photo of you there mate there we go CT in 4k likes balls good my spy has returned what secret knowledge do you bring everything starts with e and ends with g what are you talking about you're now aware that you are breathing manually stop no wait it's all sentian Schmid bag yeah always has been the only difference between being immature guy or a good father is the immature guy buys Legos to build himself where the gooda is just an immature guy willing to share his Lego with the kids it's time for you to look Inward and begin asking yourself the big questions no I can't is the movie Jaws in Shar tail their version of The Godfather honey you've barely touched your shagar bre fries aren't you hungry I'm sorry no I'm too busy being disgusted why they'd serve this with a spoon brown-eyed girls your eyes are so pretty oh my God thanks yours are cute brown out guys our ours are the color of Schmid L Shrek is just the knockoff Hulk Hulk is knockoff Shrek God which one when she says ooh deeper but you got nothing left Size Matters not look at me Judge Me by my size do you Yoda me at a party waiting for the one person I know to finish socializing oh my God hurry up stop being so engaging with people drinking water fans soda fans agreeing that sparkling water is disgusting yo why are they both depressed about this it's a a great thing to be United against seriously there are people out there who think this water that dehydrates you is better than water you hear a song that's for Tik Tok uh it's a song that you actually like to listen to Mary Jane when Spider-Man checks his phone during smex and then immediately jumps out of the window hey you better save some of that web fluid for me when you get home Mister ticktockers eating magenta colored spoiled milk and mayonnaise because it's the latest Trend some people taking the trend of Notice Me Senpai a bit too seriously my long lost Uncle from Africa when the shipping fee is too much for him to send me $13 million I am once again asking for your financial support tell you what Uncle how about you send me 10 million then you can afford the shipping fee how about that oh no no no no can't can't afford it oh your kid is such a sweet little angel tell them we said so my kid I don't give a [ __ ] ooh these fish are bananas the Eagles could have taken the ring to more no there is another Sam being able to carry Frodo and not be affected by the ring means the ring doesn't understand transitive property so they could have just taped the ring to a mouse and then carried the mouse with no ill effects whole thing thing would have taken 20 minutes yeah sure let's just leave the power of the Ring to a creature without any critical thinking skills that'll that won't be easily corruptible and dangerous four-year-old me giving Dora wrong directions 11-year-old me wishing bad morning to my teacher 25-year-old me committing tax frauds but then I fix myself and I become a 40-year-old me committing Arsen and vular manslaughter the teacher's behind me panic I don't have anything open come I don't have anything open Panic I've heard of being all thumbs but this is ridiculous it's not going to asfixiate me and shove eggs down my throat is it me chilling in public some woman and her tiny dog okay that's where are you in public exactly hey let's not judge though maybe she's just really affectionate to her pets if she's got peanut butter in her hand though post Clarity I am tired of this world these people I am tired of being caught in the tank of their lives laugh it up jenz your destiny awaits did I ever show you this Tik Tock of me twerking ew you were a t you're such a Zoomer I'd laugh at this but then statistically I'm most likely dead by the time this is a thing so that's morbid I think my Uber driver is in trouble dases is in a Honda CRV hi onw I'm lost how did this happen denish when your computer turns on randomly at 4 am that's why I don't use LED anymore it's just kind of dumb I mean if it's your thing more power to you I just have my computer down on a platform beneath my desk so I'm not staring at it all the time anyway when your little brother refers to your PC as our PC communist detected on American soil lethal Force engaged democracy is non-negotiable Mom go play with the neighbor kid the neighbors kid he like a half Roblox character what's going on here me ta foot to the beat of the music the person driving behind me I'd like to know what this looks like I'm having trouble picturing it in my mind me getting off my overnight shift trying to figure out if the orange glow in the sky is the sunrise or fire Over the Horizon where the hell do you live that fire would be that Comon Oh California right when you're forced to do something you don't want to do visible frustration my friend showing off he has 400 FPS me who has higher pay than his FPS pathetic you lose my friend I had sex with my crush in my dream my dreams I see guy who plays guitar because he likes it or Likes music I want to become a virtuoso like my favorite guitarist and I won't stop chasing my dream guys who play guitar because of girls I I I I will uh Jesus me hacking an nous be like yes I in my unemployed self when I randomly wake up after 6 hours oh you're halfway there you're introvert because you lack social skill I'm introvert because I hate people we are not the same yeah we kind of are the same though listen to your heart go get a Baconator oh you know what go get a shamrock shake not ripe not ripe yeah even when it's in the fridge when you decide to hang out with that weird kid in your neighborhood then next morning after you see him still outside your yeah that one reads like a nightmare buddy me realizing that I've learned to gracefully accept accomplishments instead of awkwardly trying to dodge them a new power is rising kid in the hospital Oh I thought you were dead my death was greatly exaggerated no they actually killed Robert Downey Jr at the end of that game we live on some dude with an earth jacket I don't know Batman no I don't kill I prefer to take them alive Lego Batman dad I hate elevator music why it's so bad on so many levels oh Dad when you change your location via VPN but the hot mils in your area don't disappear hell yeah it was true they love me 6-year-old after the waiter calls me sir you're goddamn right when you just sat down to have a nice meal and then the local vegan shows up I'd move man I'm glad we don't have a local vegan around here when there's hot mils in your area but you live in rural W West Virginia is that right did they just come out of the water what the hell is this that moment when people get drafted if you don't make it I'll be sure your remains at least get back home gee thanks I get to die and my mom gets to be morbidly depressed the rest of her life dentist broke patient teeth so he could Swindle insurers out of money fed say wow that was very Cash Money of you unfortunately it's time to die Popeye Popeye the Sailor ah oh no I see I see yes I get it I understand now took me a second I don't understand how Aaron can make more than me he's not even me what paying $200 on food and water paying $200 on a new controller you finding $200 controllers and why would you ever want one just get an 8bit do bro Instagram models we're really fit also them from a different angle on a filter you keep telling people you work nights and it would be best if they just text you they keep randomly calling you in the middle of the day anyway mute the phone when your friend Norman invites you to his house to play games but when you arrive you see him naked in the hallway why is Norman naked I bet he is thinking about other women other women damn she was correct I bet this makes it into the Bible guys I can see my house from here I think I left my oven on I think that's the least of your worries teacher I want everyone to pay attention kid named attention got to tell you I'm getting real sad guys pee is not stored in the balls well they're all saying it so it must be true when you see Mom and the delivery driver wrestling but they give you a new PS5 the next day all right rats are not 3D printable see this one I don't believe I I absolutely don't believe it food reviewers and critics in YouTube be like my face when I'm just about to beat the game and then my power goes out before I can save yeah I forgot my shorts Arnold shorts forgetter Jesus when your mom cleans up the pile of tissues in your room and asks if you're sick ah yes definitely absolutely sick of your questions mom 12-year-old me finding out what sleeping together means is it not just nap time together small L capital I oh boy here we go my mom stay here I have to grab something real quick the cashier when she leaves mom please 8-year-old me surfs TV channels Spike 1,000 ways to die I always hated that show but loved Deadliest Warrior even though a lot of that show was Bull was fun man no [ __ ] asked the man who hasn't spoken to women at all damn straight my baggage surprise still my baggage mom and girl friend if both of us are to drown who will you say first me saying I can't even swim out standing move bartender Bart damn Bart dodged that like a pro if she breathes she's a thought all women or Queens America's Choice 2020 girls I can't believe he didn't cry at the Titanic do men even have feelings boys with something I've I don't know what that is a picture of don't know what it is oopsy Poopsy Jesus when he comes back and sees a bunch of art depicting him being tortured okay I'm going to head out now thanks guys moss growing on a tree me on a walk is it lyen or Len what is that word depending on the context here I have no idea growing on a different tree that I'm going to look at next wedding review bra video all right they call me 007 oh my God zero girlfriend zero Talent seven different voices in my head eats your food stings you for no reason leaves yeah what a jerk holy no no no no Divine waste what the is what the is lean dude I don't fing know I don't know bro grand kids but I don't want to mow the lawn today Grandma's that's okay you can come inside for some milk and cookies where's the whip there's a way oh Grandpa got it though me sipping my coffee knowing I'm not working tomorrow I mean okay look at myself in the mirror every morning have a good day fed at least you're being semi-positive H I'm having such aad bad hair day I got some hair bands my assle won't stop sweating and leaking lay off beer and fish dude what the me finally it's Friday I can't wait to finish my classes and have some fun some board teacher the you are house tell ooh I haven't seen that one yet now I'm pleased I've seen something new today I mean okay to be fair I see something new all the time but I like that one mom tells you to take out the meat for dinner it was 4 hours ago woh guess who's not eating tonight Italian torture man I don't give a pizza has been appropriated by the world sorry guys hey Mike do you know Candice your family is fake what jeez man all right okay Mike for God's sake you don't have to be so mean gum gum that sticks to your fingers Mr Incredible I don't think I can really relate to this I just don't know what you mean when you start a new job and see your first paycheck who's F why is he taking all my money things to do in Florida leave I guarantee you the people that live there definitely like it when you do you know the weird people that want to keep it a closed ecosystem people playing Forza Horizon 5 with a 100 FPS man my FPS is like so low I literally can't play properly bro me with 20 FPS and some old Flash game yeah oh that's PC gaming for you holy crap I'm not getting 18 billion frames a second this is unplayable look all I'm saying is once you get it it's really hard to go back Americans we are free from control we are America also Americans win cheese no one ever seems to talk about the American cheese caves yeah the cheese caves aw what a fairly innocent looking children's cartoon about a bunch of cute animals I sure hope it doesn't traumatize me for the remainder of my childhood oh dude I haven't seen Happy Tree Friends in years years is this still going on oil companies after inventing the low fuel light genius you see we don't understand this or rather we don't anymore but you can just keep going your car will just keep going forever kids are the future kids today I'm sick of this flesh prison yo is that kid pic oh no it's just paint when there's ghosts in your neighborhood but you don't want to talk to the Ghostbusters feels strange but I'll allow it I guess for now why wouldn't you want to talk to the Ghostbusters when you're a good boy so much that you become a cryptocurrency wow such a good boy that you're being punished listen kid I don't have much time I know how much dedicated where oh no damn it I guess I'm never going to be able to host a Minecraft server 2024 criticized the current government hey cool I'm dead grandpa I found this in your old stuff what is it sit down son I'm going to tell you the great story of oh me heal my disease brain no takes pill with no effect you son of a [ __ ] I'm in I love that we do have to trick our brains sometimes into doing certain things what a weird piece of jello I guess doctor physical health mental health yep even to this day we still just don't really want to do it right do we can anyone else hear this picture yeah I've been around dogs before I can hear it just fine violets are red my kids turning blue GTA no bad words to part two no bad words I mean okay my dad smart and introvert my mom lazy and funny me lazy and introvert the boys was a weird show when your squad leader is outg grounded for the week so it's on you to lead the team but first you show respect you must show respect the moths on my porch when I turn on the light when the light goes out and they have nothing to freak out about moths are so freaking weird can someone in the comments please tell me why mods are attracted to the light I never bothered to look it up myself and I want you to do the work for me I couldn't open a child lock that was on the bottle today my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined me too man we've all been there dude we've all been there me explaining that inheritance is your relatives dropping loot when they die my coding teacher dude shouldn't you be learning to code me after completing my Master's Degree me after almost 2 years being unemployed and not managing to find a job even slightly related to my studies did you get one in philosophy me didn't ask best friend I did Amber her when she sees social media huh I wonder who that's for oh I guarantee you she knows oh what an incredible performance she puts on a [ __ ] saw this and thought it would be a good haircut who who thought this would be a good haircut when your high friend mistakes your piss bottle mistakes it for what Mountain Dew apple juice are you properly hydrated boruto episode 6969 I can't carry this anime show anymore for you but I can drop you goodbye never seen it never will how my muscles feel normally how my muscles feel when my gy crush walks in yeah I can understand this but not with gym crush more like o I lifted a gallon of milk for more than 2 seconds I feel buff seeing my country slowly self-destruct oh panic remembering that there are worse things out there calm remembering that there are worse things out there when you join the party in here who invited this kid I mean you didn't have to bring that memory back up but you know whatever you do you I guess me finding the perfect video my friends calling me to play okay change.org petitions be like a company's decision you man can you imagine a company deciding not to go with the voices of millions of people that's a look it's one thing if aaren says you just lost a customer it's another thing when 5 million people are like hey you by the way we're not going to continue supporting this and you I mean a company has got to think about the bottom line and 5 million folks is definitely a pretty decent amount of people to say hey bro bring back Pepsi Blue is that you not yet a complete up yeah but that's an old photo me about to take my schizophrenia pills my best friend you do not get to choose whether or not I exist sure I do but bye Kevin anything's a butt plug if you're brave enough oh my God is that Rob Schneider the carrot when the contactless card reader asks if I want to round up the price and donate to charity to help the poor when I remember I am the poor don't do it let the multi-billion dollar organizations donate out of their money and stop getting the tax breaks you're giving them my girlfriend celebrating our first pregnancy hey whoa whoa wait a minute that better be grape juice mental illness me actually doing pretty good for myself just pour some salt on it me expecting a broad chest deep voice and a complete beard from puberty best I can do is ass hair and a lot of it friend 10-year-old me waiting in the rain for my mom to pick me up you didn't bring an umbrella dude see this is the problem with the current generation this guy instead of bringing an umbrella brought his Batman costume and I don't understand how that's even remotely normal thank you for submitting your application unfortunately we will keep your res Now you won shut up Elden Ring The Witcher disc World Skyrim Lord of the Rings Elves are dead I feel like the explanation for them being is better in some of these versus the others though right but they do tend to be anals the dwarves areal too man so I was watching the rest of Ozark and uh damn Ruth looks like Justin timberling you know I was getting those vibes near the end there for sure but she's way better looking as a whole than he ever was Dr Dre said nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead he's locked in my basement he's dead and locked in your basement hughet unlimited high-speed internet by satellite yeah until you use all of the data in 2 hours then that sh slower than dialup internet how much data is hughet starting you off with you know I'm something of a scientist myself man when I first learned about that my mind exploded a little bit me setting my Discord status to online as if my presence in the server actually mattered I have not taken myself off of Do Not Disturb in like 3 years I just haven't I get plenty of messages still sure but I don't need that stupid damn notification noise dragons and Skyrim watching me pause time to eat 40 wheels of cheese 79 cabbages 325 potatoes 43 gallons of potions and Dawning the skin of its Fallen Brothers don't worry Dragon you'll be all right man I'm pretty sure I have a severe case of Smashmouth dentist in 14 years of practice I've never heard of that is this something you read about online no somebody wants told me told you what smartass kings die their eldest Sons yes very sad anyway what do we want stimulation when do we want it now everything everywhere all of the time anything and everything all of the time me after seeing Doctor Strange the Multiverse of Madness where horror he wasn't allowed to give you actual horror it's a freaking Marvel movie you know that right scientists invented a bracelet that converts stress to energy me when I wear it for 5 minutes dude I'm not even kidding if we learned how to harness stress oh man type 47 civilization right there we're we did it we won your is an outstanding condition doctor said it teacher says it while you're doing a presentation in front of the class get your ass out of my house before I call the authorities oh evolution of phone booths 1989 2022 remember that era I want to say it was in the mid to late '90s where people had phones right next to their toilets George RR Martin taking 26 years to finish Game of Thrones James Cameron taking 13 years to release Avatar 2 I mean honestly just so long as they get finished at some point right you may not like Avatar but Avatar 2 is going to absolutely destroy every box office record you've ever known well at least most likely anyway mother who say good things come with time still waiting my watch is dead but I'm still waiting gentlemen it is with pleasure to inform you that I've turned 18 today and can now watch age restricted videos on YouTube finally good sir how I'll sleep today knowing that I have a holiday tomorrow what holiday they took my daughter they killed my dog they killed my family they took the goddamn kitty cat bracelet God nobody was awesome general everybody arm your defense and fire at will guy named will well sorry will but you knew this day was coming sooner or later teacher what comes after 360 me 361 then why did you write no scope what is this some kind of joke or something you don't get it are you kidding me is that cuz you're a norie you're finally awake you hit your head pretty hard 2020 Corona virus wildfires you're talking crazy dude come on there's a Blastoise down the street and we're going to binge stranger things later dude you can't do that to me man you can't do that the two weeks that Pokémon go was on top of the world were the best two weeks of my entire life you can't do that United States hey Russia LOL you should sell us Alaska for 2 pennies an acre Russia okay United States you will hold on I got to do some calculating where's my calculator here hold give me a second give me a second do you mean to tell me that we bought Alaska for less than $10 million are you freaking kidding me look it still ain't as impressive as the Louisiana Purchase but whatever man 10-year-old me after eating vanilla ice cream and realizing that it contains 0.00001% alcohol K hey Health experts please wear oxygen supply masks underwater Americans well it be fair if he can just do that underwater then why not right so I saw this guy yep he came out of the vent yep I exposed the first impostor so you can trust me makes sense to me and let's vote him out that's what an impostor would say orange was not an impostor this seems like the type of game you wouldn't really want to play with people that only want to make that same joke over and over again huh I'm starting to see more compilations of people losing their godamn minds playing this game than actually having fun didn't take long did it obiwan you were the chosen one Anakin I hate you Anakin was the impostor me asking for the name of the artist Reddit getting a 100 up votes yeah thanks guys very helpful teacher if you don't want to pay attention I'll honestly end this class right now the students he will yay I graduated college what do I win a sad feeling oh how people who shouldn't have bred celebrate pregnancy how the greatest intellectuals celebrate pregnancy Oh yay funny haha office reference they're my favorite if you're depressed you're living in the past if you're anxious you're living in the future me what the hell's this from me and the boys on our way to find the impostor oh who are you kidding you ain't going to find sh my boyfriend who's always there to back me up me who was called Gay by the bully cats I see on the internet cats I have at my home look at the big nose no one schroedinger's cat du no some say Heath Ledger was the best Joker of all time some say Wen Phoenix was the best Joker of all time but deep down we all know that she ignored all your messages and you are a better clown than both oh man you you sons of coffee plants producing caffeine as a defense mechanism humans getting addicted to coffee and caffeine humans are freaking scary dad he will be a football player mom no he will be a doctor me who already decided on becoming a a ninja Space Cowboy see you go man we need more diversity in terms of the job market so get out there and make your dreams come true when someone calls an emergency meeting 10 seconds into the game and gets voted off I love democracy my mom saying I should be a doctor my dad saying I should be a lawyer six-year-old me who wanted to be a dinosaur my mom just wanted me to survive dude my economics professor me explaining to the class how Reddit giving free coins has caused an award inflation my mom you don't want to end up like him the math teacher you don't want to end up like him the construction worker who makes double their salary yeah y'all can shut up when you email your professor at 2: a.m. and they respond within a minute damn all right that never ever ever ever happens but okay fall guys after dominating Reddit but then being replaced by Among Us in less than a week you know I was God once you were Fall Guys you were when you accidentally type Jehovah's Fitness instead of Jehovah's Witness I'm a Jehovah's Fitness my fist in your mouth if you don't shut up with these jokes teacher what comes after five Rockstar six then why did you write five again yeah Rockstar what gives huh which is more of a flex a 64 pack of Crayola crayons or airpods amateurs I've ended more friendship no I have amateurs what was that punk amateurs oh hi Monopoly oh Uno doesn't really think so though okay oh my God no no no parents we're going to send you to an all girl school their daughter who's actually gay you will oh God that freaks me out what the hell when did words get genders am I a joke to you yeah guys English ain't the only one in the game huh ghosts following the impostor that killed them be like oh impostor of the vent what is your wisdom online schooling is just homework on steroids that's true crew mate there is one impostor Among Us guaranteed every time sometimes all four are the Roman Empire Italy when you spend half an hour searching for the perfect PNG and it ends up being a JPEG ouch I would like to thank Pinterest for completely destroying image searching the letter k in night the letter k in okay everyone Mod's bad Mod's gay the mod who let me post here even though I don't meet the karma requirement thanks guys did you buy the new RTX 380 yes what did it cost a kidney really try the 309 90 mofo me in racing games only 350 kmph pathetic me IRL 120 km per hour is scary dead body reported I'm sus and white no it's not me because I was with green yeah but red was near a vent so it's him oh well that was your first mistake not speaking English apparently I guess do you have to make rule 34 of every single female character rule 34 artists it's the law me and my siblings who can't get past a level our older brother dude Kermit your older brother man Markiplier when he sees another stupid meme with his face on it I feel like he's doing fine he doesn't care me and the boys Reviving a meme in Med Bay Bravo yeah Bravo that one's pretty good okay all of you get out except you you stay yeah yeah really wish they all could have gone forever though the smart kid arguing that the answer was 17 the Asian kid arguing that the answer is 22 me who got the Gulf of Mexico what the microwave sees Beethoven when he became deaf oh no anyway third world country look we found a large deposit of oil America oil my ex texts me a 100-word message about how she messed up and wants to be back after she cheated on me with my best friend me hold on oh give me a second here all right K the smart kid who studied all night me who watched all the oversimplified videos hydrogen oxygen hydrogen teacher if you disrupt the class one more time I'll tell your parents the kid whose parents died in a car crash you will God is this the freaking meme of the week how many of these have we seen Boomer humor I hate my wife Millennial humor I hate my life gen Z humor me waiting for my teacher to stop yelling at my classmates so I can continue my presentation mom go play all day I will do all your homework 9-year-old me who doesn't understand sarcasm you will all right that's it no more of those ones rare look at Among Us servers wait I thought this is what Nintendo used to keep their Network up when the two smartest kids get put in a group with the popular girl okay when you know who's coming down the stairs by the sound of their footsteps hey people step differently man it's just a weird thing my favorite thing about the Spanish Harry Potter translation is that instead of calling Lord Voldemort the dark lord they call him seor tenoso which basically means Mr spooky well he is the stair demon me the light switch me acting like I haven't stolen anything even though I haven't stolen anything my parents takes my phone and laptop away to make me focus on my studies me a software engineering student me tries to download an app from the Play Store Play Store you don't have enough space but the app size is 2 megabytes and I've got more than 500 megabytes of free storage did I stutter Boomers this generation is the weakest they'll never survive the real world four-year-old me who can lift two chairs at once are you sure about that judge you'll be executed blue why I don't know you seem kind of sus oh that's so good what if you wanted to go to heaven but God said you are dead finish your tasks to win the person who wrote 10 paragraphs proving me wrong me who spotted that he used your instead of you are among us on Discord with the boys among Among Us with random people yeah I wouldn't know probably never will let's be honest here I'm too stupid to play a game like that when a zebra is getting attacked in a zebra documentary when a zebra is getting attacked in a lion documentary using the Drake format using a freaking Apple because people will use anything at this point Earth every 100 years random bu go me making multiple accounts on Reddit so that I can defend my ass when someone insults me oh my god the guy from Megamind he just freaks me out readed read foxes are just cat software running in dog Hardware with a dolphin soundboard no absolutely no nudity whatsoever you can have some nudity but it can't be Porn Bro you can post every single porn video that has ever existed in the universe as long as you just mark it not safe for work uh is this a problem zero in addition in subtraction zero in multiplication zero in division oh God you know what I thought I was was done reading numbers a long time ago okay I'm not in school anymore how life is going for me DDR done done rest in peace types of headaches migraine hypertension stress eyes adjusting to light I become so cap I can't feel you bu become so made so much all we for real did you hate that I sure did me enjoying a YouTube video for the first time a comment I liked 7 years AG go Odus We Now set out on our Odyssey sailor raising hand what's an odyssey Odysseus a long journey named after the only Survivor oh okay wait what my brain coming up with the most horrifying nightmareish imagery known to mankind right before I'm about to fall to sleep POV you are a microb observing an eldrich horror harvesting Another Universe now see that right there is a great way to promote kids to pursue stem you can be perceived as is a horrific deity from another plane of [Music] existence no no no no gimme gimme more no gimme gimme man after midnight see Abba's better than Britney because it comes earlier in the alphabet me gets deported to Siberia hot mil's in my area stop him don't let him get away my mom thinking I cleaned the bathroom mirror because I wanted to help her me who cleaned it to click clearer mirror selfies uh yeah I was considering you me on my way to show a meme to my mom Knowing damn well she's not going to understand Schmid about it oh Mommy Dearest come hither it is beyond noon and you have not been reminded once again as to how incomprehensible my generation's lingo is busing Patrick we should do it get married have a wedding no I can't take the time off watching morbius oh hell yeah the best Marvel movie of all time no doubt no no questions asked breaking news blade fans accidentally see the the wrong blade movie Reports say the fans were turbulent after they saw that the movie was about vampires one attendant who was in fact not a fan did shout out this blows of which then multiple blade fans did proceed to beat him up when you find a building advertising a Furry Convention right fetch me musket me trying to sleep the neighbor's dog barking at anything that moves oh hey is that a a furry convention happening next door me musket back in the day the wind never stood a damn chance wind Breakers fashion has declined my dog when I say that he's a good boy happiness noises which considering this is a photo of a Husky it would sound like free thinkers when paid thinkers walk in oh I hate people who are all paid to win senior British doctor issues monkey pox warning to people with new sexual partners me without any sexual partners that's right those on Reddit and who are married are safe what kind of degenerate watches black and white TV colorblind people hm well I'm going to make a tweet about them to get them cancelled the perfect gang doesn't exist oh hello recess the illusion of free choice are you enjoying our app enter here through yes enter here through no remember it's your choice presenting the powerful multi complexity of definitions Boomers look at this photo I found it's your generation granddaughter why don't you call me also Boomers remove your Reddit post or everything will be turned into the police including your registration info British people when they lose £50 American people when they lose £50 hell yeah I fart in public because the music is loud anyway wait I'm wearing earphones someone raids you on Twitch not to be mistaken with someone raiding you in World War II ow I hate getting those to to mixed up reasons I like my steak medium rare notably it tastes better and has more juice but mostly I'm a fat freck and I wanted to arrive faster 12-year-old me to my friend after We snuck in to see the ring do you leave the light on after bedtime no just the static of my TV I like the White Noise oh well good night yeah good night can a robot be funny can a robot come up with clever comebacks did you hear the one about GI Jane not again not again not again look out redit is NI if work what's the most attractive thing a guy can do for a girl be the fastest runner in first grade ha I knew it I'm not the fastest runner anymore but I'm fasted something else making false assumptions about people 14-year-old girls Billy ish's songs are so sad me they aren't though I bet you haven't experienced sadness in in your life me it all started when I wore a bow tie to school French people saying they have explosive diarrhea in the sexiest sentence I have ever heard in my life a diry daddy when she asks why you're late for school but it's 2033 ah you know lack of foundation sure I can paint your ceiling Michelangelo scoffs to himself going to paint a bunch of dudes with their Ducks out though okay okay so here we have Isaac Newton now this mother flipper had seen his pee go downwards all the time but still needed an apple to discover gravity mom can we have shehulk no there is shehulk at home shehulk at home uhuh that's a h i wonder what that She-Hulk is breaking news King Julian dead at 43 shot in Brazil by rival cartel his associates made a statement stating finally teacher today we you going to be learning about depression that one girl in the back who listens to Billy ish it's showtime you in fourth grade going to that one kid's house you'll never go to again s Jimmy you play sport um not who's your favorite football team who's your who's your dad's favorite huh her I had a dream about you my dream if we pass through the nasal Canal we'll be sure to find the answers to our grade five maths exam you play genin impact because you like the characters I play genin impact because I like the game we are not the same snake oil salesman me I don't understand why does my snake need to be oiled presenting the personification of your spotifi songs that I play when I'm with my family with songs that I play when I'm alone just coming along for the ride until they you know ready for when I need them which is about 20 minutes after hanging out with the family me only listening to my Spotify I on repeat playlist wondering why it never changes this feels just like my history of failed relationships that's got to be a common denominator and it can't be me Avatar 3 official teaser trailer 4K 2023 concept when the person in the back seat starts telling you how to drive okay you listen up Google Maps you better take that back before I take my fist back there okay okay I'm going to turn this car around protagonist oh no the call didn't get through what do we do why don't you text them instead of wasting hours of valuable time to try and find them protagonist ah my goodness what an idea why didn't I think of that when your dad says he's going out to get milk and he actually comes back with milk 30 minutes later ah thank goodness the internet it truly did lie current unbothered level woman dries her thong out on airplane max level reached no cute celebratory sound effects though that this is not something to be proud of it's morbin time that joke has gotten old you guys cops 2016 harambe dies 2022 monkey pox outbreak among humans oh yeah it's all coming together me take a little off the top barber I when you touch grass after a while that grass be banging vegans when they realize they caught 69 they don't eat meat I have no hand up my butt and I must scream you farted work and it's completely silent Mission successful but it feels way too warm Mission too successful dogs when you have chicken wings oh hey bro what he you want to share I shout shout there shout what the dog doing you versus the guy she tells you not to worry about to be fair as long as your girl's over the age of 23 you don't have to worry about the guy on the ride when your girlfriend sees your PE PE is that true yeah is that true no oh you said yeah you already said yeah oh too late I just just I just answered no too late all the work I left for the last minute me on a Sunday it's a Sunday well get going buddy boy you're pretty muscular I think you can do it now son me and your mom are going to be away for a few days here's some emergency money don't spend it on junk food Me 2 hours later coming back home from Casey's and GameStop to play some BioShock Infinite damn what year are we in dude you playing some BioShock Infinite still good for you Sony releasing more BS in theaters again because of millions of memes about the movie Chad who are ironically making memes about enjoying the movie resulting in the movie flopping twice I don't think it can flop a second time it can only make more money the second time right SpongeBob's eyes are facing forward which means he's a predatory animal and after a bit more research it seems that Predator sponges feed on mollusks like [Music] Gary oh we got to stop looking deeper into SpongeBob because we're going to uncover something someday that we really didn't want to me and the boys after a hard day of avoiding chores and homework hey working in the coal mine's a good gig be thankful back in my days some people dose is just an UNO joke it's not real dose I keep forgetting about that is it playable I mean I've never even remotely wanted to try it until just now never thought about it I'm going to have to try and find a pack YouTube vloggers kids after growing up oh my God The Truman Show oh don't use your children they can be in the videos but if they're the sole not Source I guess the main character nah dude nah humans to cats and dogs oh dear oh dear gorgeous humans to other animals well no he says donkey he's this is humans just towards donkeys that's what they're called me who's been drawing in my book with no idea what's happening my mate paying attention to the lesson you guys fly planes maybe you should you really need to be paying attention like he is come on man me after posting a meme the insatiable urge to watch it statistics I do that with tweets a lot and whenever I upload a video which is rare oh it's morbin time okay what game is this no really tell me Eddie morphe and Eddie morphe morbid oh I'm get I I'm sick of this meme it's been like a day and I'm so sick of it Humanity son the toilet my Elon father me this one's a little too much for me to try and comprehend your chances being killed by chickens is pretty low but never zero well you can say that about anything the chances of spaghetti falling out of the ceiling all over my desk are low but it's never truly zero selling Nintendo switch to get money for Nintendo switch games for what why would you why would you do that this onion won't make me cry you start listening music on earphones after class so that people won't think you don't have anybody to talk to what Mom here comes the airplane babies you what is it about babies really liking the taste of airplanes that's all babies want to eat is airplanes and sometimes trains zombie apocalypse fans when I kidnapped them and put them in an abandoned Street filled with Undead as they began to rip their limbs to limbs while gorging on their organs with blood spilling on the cement ground they don't like zombies anymore I know people that can't speak English that can type sentences in English better than this girls wallpapers when they want it to be motivational boys how's that motivation for boys I get the just do it part but what about the other two dork asses on the other monitor me after discovering that 72 virgins are waiting for you in the Islamic Paradise you turned into a cat when you heard that I don't meet anyone I would not be peed to meet them oh no the authorities can't find enough evidence to make the charges stick since I didn't commit any crime I don't like peas anymore LGBT people when they see corporations change their logos for pride month you merely adopted the gay I was born in in it molded by it hey they got to make money right person who keeps on gambling person who stopped gambling this meme brought to you by cassino association of Las Vegas okay Society of change.org petitions changed anything has a single one actually changed anything when you're arguing with someone on Reddit and they make a valid point well yes but actually no damn this is actually a good post this post has been removed by the moderators because even if it follows all the rules if the mods are feeling a little butt hurt about something they're going to ruin your day Christmas presents birthday presents kids born on December 25th dude one of my best friends growing up was born on the 26th it sucks dude The Man with the Yellow Hat when Curious George wrecks the city throws on everyone and rips a small child's face off I missed the part where that's my problem well man in a yellow hat you can't take that yellow hat to prison my wife don't act weird when we're in public me in public well look if you tell someone not to act weird they have every right to exclusively act weird raising two hands means I don't know raising one hands means hello tune in next week for more hand raising explanation uh no I'm good actually I I think I've got it all covered me photoshopping my body on some random guy's head damn it matches him pretty well though got to say reminder Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is a Bruce cble and Andy Samberg movie no it's a bill hater movie and if you don't like it you can leave you can leave leave you understand I'm not kidding that movie is all about Bill hater we stand Bill hater here on MK and that's it I love Andy Samberg and Bruce Campbell but Bill haters the one young me when my rice tasted like crap Mom R catchup on Rice what it's tasty the serial killer in my house when he realizes I'm in the living room he can't get you in there that's not how it works paying 20 cents for a shiny thingy made out of glass paying $20 million for the same looking shiny thingy made out of diamond also some African kid got his hands chopped off with a machete for it artificial diamonds are actually aren't most diamonds [ __ ] anyway no way they're selling Libya flag shirts well that's cool I don't need one but it's neat the robber when I pull out an UNO reverse card and now he's the one who's been shot can you imagine if you had an UNO card with the power to do things like that God after seeing where human evolution has led to what you think been waiting all this time for simps to appear he knew simps were going to exist 10 cilon years ago blood banks are just food stamps for Dracula I don't think vampires are allowed to go to blood banks and just do shots dude a Reddit comment from 3 years ago me stuck on a game I mean you don't have to find a Reddit comment for a game walkth through now you will suffer Obi-Wan Anakin we're even now B well no he didn't burn Obi-Wan to a Goddamn burnt chicken nugget crisp okay I need a dozen taquitos do not ask why why would I ask why it's food and a dozen taito is nothing I could eat like 300 of those things all of the technology in the world can't replace the benefits of a book doctors when the book can't perform an MRI scan and the patient dies keyboard Warriors resorting to comments about mothers using the keyboard Warriors profile pictures for meme templates hypothermia terminally chill see that one's good that is definitely an upgrade okay we've got different ways to sit on the toilet ooh uh zero is pretty impressive I got to say that is a big toilet although we all know the real way is three right it's cuz you can use a little table to read books and you know play with toys top button on a shirt everybody I'll ignore that well yeah even if the shirt is custom tailored to fit you it's still going to choke you out when you're stating a fact but it's not what they want to hear oh I'm toxic M I guess I am someone on Reddit adding Rick Roll in the end of a wholesome video me who uses Reddit Mobile so the video itself doesn't load that's right you can't get me buddy okay well this sure is I didn't really like Wendy's before but I certainly don't like it now friend are you home me no where are you at I'm at the club M what is clubmate I'm an American I think I'm too American to understand work hard or you'll end up like him garbage man and plumbers moms their kids man garbage man and plumbers they sure do make more than your mom probably does it was worth it was it really the look on his face is making me think it wasn't me Monday morning I'm late for work and have a meeting 40 m away gas tank best I can do is 6 miles not the gas Tank's fault you didn't feed it me an introvert hot mils in my area God they're everywhere How can there be that many me pissed on spider in my toilet the spider with a pea fetish this is easily the worst subreddit of all time I'd do anything for this suit anything good Lord what the hell version 1.0 version 2.0 version 2.1 we have to continue this meme with the naming standards of USB version 2.1 generation 3.a McFlurry mcf furry this better not awaken anything in me Professor only one person failed me yep I'm so sorry everyone have I ruined it for the rest of you season changes my nose breath was never an option you fool and it's about to get so much better as we go into Wildfire season the scariest things on earth Darkness clown sharks Killers death not feeling your phone in the pocket yeah I can definitely confirm that one though literally right before my first international trip ever a couple of years back I left my phone in the damn car I did not drive my car to the airport so I had a bit of a heart attack oopsy Poopsy teacher you can't hear pictures the pictures I can hear two of these the other two I guess I'm not cultured enough to get Twitter users I'm leaving Twitter this is the seventh time today you said you were going to use another platform but he's got Myspace in his hands though we don't no Myspace is gone I mean at least what we remember of it if you want Myspace in its true original form you go to space hey bro add me on Space hey everybody we should hang out some space hey for sure New Zealand government in 2015 2016 okay kiwis send in your designs and we'll vote on our new flag what the majority of Voters chose what the majority of people who've spent 5 seconds on the internet would choose yeah come on your whole country had the chance to change your flag to something perfect why this why this can any new zealanders in the comments tell me now I know MK is primarily an Australian run deal but come on we've got to have some kiwis around here right notification on your YouTube comment it's a bot that replied to your comment that is annoying sometimes I'm annoyed just in general that someone replied to my YouTube comment because half the time it has nothing to do with what I just said me swallows a whole tablet without drinking water the Samsung store employee the the what the Samsung Samsung has stores now too my grandfather selling me his house for a dollar me finally able to afford to live under a roof with a bed the real estate agent who gets 5% commission you're looking for music you find a good '90s one the song is wholesome your dad recognizes it the singer is still alive oh that's always nice isn't it look at Amazon's amazing range of anime movies I mean I'd give them a try that's the beautiful thing about anime there are no restrictions on what the hell it can really be dentist have you been flossing me every day also me I knew who it was going to be I knew it and I'm still surprised look at that dude's teeth when you live alone and you hear your toilet flush yes that is what toilets do and what they sound like who's taking a dookie in your house the year is 2002 you and the buddies are eating Bagel Bites in Mountain Dew then Goku throws the Spirit Bomb and N dude I I don't I don't I I don't I I don't relate to Dragon Ball when you finally reheat your wings from last night but don't have any ranch or blue cheese in the house well looks like you're screwed how do you feel huh how do you feel sad me so where are you getting that information from them the experts the experts step family only fans what the hell are you talking about what people think arguing on the Internet is like what it's actually like I mean I'm going to need some coffee for this sub today man last thing a man sees after clogging a toilet in Gotham whoa whoa whoa whoa whoo look it's just a clogged toilet we don't have to call this Batman of all the bat men to be calling we don't need to call this one okay get me the one that's not as unhinged and crazy and just all around goofy you're hungry and you drink water 10 seconds later wait what what's this mean I'm out of the loop here with such memorable Classics like this is why you don't have friends you're too sensitive can't you take a joke no one else would ever love you ah The Gaslight varieties the happy music of the gay 9s when I don't want the doctor to do much ah Dr dittle what a weird project for him to do right after Avengers man what a weird thing and it was a bad movie too I Am The Lorax and I speak for the trees daddy Lorax I might be The Lorax but I don't speak for this tree guys come on come on man that's not even a Truffula tree truff truffa that's right right memers Florida man is the most insane people out there also Florida man Florida man Spends His one day off cleaning forgotten veterans tombstones what a dude just what a goddamn Guy where are all the good Florida man headlines I'm sure there are a bunch out there redditors after saying Elon bought Twitter for 44 billion when they got it for free you have entered the comedy area oh Elon you silly doofus my mom you've been in the shower for 20 minutes what's going on me wondering if cutting off Mike wazowski's legs would be amputating him or beheading him ooh I don't like thinking about that it kind of hurts my brain I'll be honest with you amputating or beheading him well it's the act of taking the legs off not the head you're not taking his head off off necessar it's kind of like a a glass half full situation you know is it half empty or half full well it depends was I drinking it or filling it I don't know who is Amber and what she heard and at this moment I am too afraid to ask you don't need to remember her name or know anything about her her man gentlemen it is with great displeasure to announce that the Mario movie got delayed to April of 2023 good when I hear a movie like that is getting delayed I get really happy because all I could think is oh they have more time to make sure that this isn't the worst thing we've ever seen it could still be but at least they're putting in more effort when you insult Elon Musk in a mean tweet and suddenly your Tesla asks for your Twitter login I swear to God man Netflix ads users why are people unsubscribing it also doesn't help that they're cancelling what what did they say 90 95% of their animation when that hot girl you like sends nudes instead of memes bro what the I don't want that that's stupid make me laugh the perfect YouTube video does not exist eating a 60-year-old nuclear bomb all right these videos are starting to get out of hand man do you know how many calories a nuclear bomb would be me figures out Obama's last name FBI the Illuminati will see you now will they do they have an office somewhere that I can go see I will say hearsay and objection as much as possible I will ask the defendant the same question four times for no reason I will object to my question I'm a lawyer the reason he's asking the same damn question so many times is because his entire strategy relies on flustering Johnny Depp and making him screw up or become impassioned and say something he probably shouldn't oh yeah it's a terrible strategy because Johnny ain't having any of that sh pens I actually pay money for breaks with a stiff wind harder to grip than a wet soap bar in prison last even less time than me actually CAU cost money free ones at events last many months fits better in my hand the only reason I'm there built like a brick house a dude free pens are the way to go unless you get a pack of those big pens that you can rewind cassettes with those are the best in the world but the ones at events are pretty cool too especially if you go to an event like packs they give you metal pens man oh just because I'm Italian doesn't mean I eat pasta every day I mean I eat pasta every day but not because I'm Italian oh mine was Bruce Willis mine was Britney Spears how about you who was your first crush um wait who that who uh-oh writing the paper based on something I'm interested in so it's easy to write and I get a good grade writing the paper based on something the teacher's interested in so I get favoritism points that's the play my parents he'll be a doctor no he'll be a politician my brother I want to be a fascist me who told him fashion designers are called fascists no your brother knows exactly what it means he's going to be a real fascist and it's your fault when you're explaining why some rich dude buying a website's a big deal you city Folk worry about a lot of dumb [ __ ] and you're Superior to all of us because you live in the [ __ ] Hills and that's it the sun rises roosters every fuing day can you blame him can you really so get this Amber herd right yeah I know you understand she's a terrible person and you heard me talk about her non-stop all year get this though she the bed while abusing good old Johnny I hope that RS in hell so what are you doing after this nobody that one RPG character no more Adventures I'm not going that way my girlfriend after I keep shouting fous Roa when I I need to ask you to stop that shouting it's making people nervous damn how the old is this one dude oh man you just got to remember how old Skyrim is you the nougat she tells you not to worry about what the hell where where'd you get that bar man society if men would always be in the state of post Clarity dude oh man not even a lie though holy crap if there was a way to be in that state forever society would be so far ahead by low sell high but how sell high if nobody buy High Mother of God you've cracked the code when you stop typing to let your friend finish typing but then he stops that's annoying too for sure but I hate some some asking me a question or asking me for clarity and in the middle of me answering they just send 14 more messages dude I'm a slow typer fing stop give me a goddamn second please me at the liquor store check out my my liver bank account and neighbors me all right that one's good but I could barely freaking read that Mr meme author me making the exact plans to become successful my ADHD bro get medicated bro how my girlfriend expects me to deal with any female who tries to talk to me maybe you got to re-evaluate that relationship teachers when the class is quiet teachers when the class is quiet after asking a question Elon Musk buys Twitter for over $44 billion the children working in Tesla's Cobalt mine who haven't eaten in days you know it's pretty crazy when someone with enough money to solve world hunger decides that instead of doing that I'm going to buy a [ __ ] website a website that everybody hates when it's 2: a.m. and you remember that you didn't study for a test you have that morning well looks like you're screwed buddy boy thieves breaking into someone's house on Christmas an 8-year-old kid oh dude you better run your even number multiples of five TV volume yeah this is a requirement when a time traveling George Washington sees people twerking for the first time I mean I get it Welcome to Austin please die slowly ooh I don't want to do that though the creation of dog beautiful me when I see my friend with his friends no man you're only allowed to hang out with me this is bull me watching my FBI agent my Russian hacker hey wait just a minute okay did I get assigned a Russian hacker as well do I get to meet these guys people Elon Musk will make the world a better place also them oh hey it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen good Lord me breathing for the first time a lifelong breathing addiction I don't know it's not the worst addiction to have for some top 10 National anthems you can't rank anthems because every Anthem is beautiful in its own way the USSR Anthem I don't know I think every single national anthem sucks how I imagine Russia will be like Russia pregnant Russian woman gives birth in Forest while officers fight off Bears so it's exactly what you were expecting right cuz that's exactly what I was expecting new technology I'm going to change memes for the better right for the better right no I don't think memes have ever been changed for the better you think it's going to happen now donate money to a homeless person donate money to charity huh donate money to billionaires like the Kardashians never forgive that for asking her fans to pay for her friends medical bills rather than just going oh it's 60 Grand that's a drop in the [ __ ] bucket Boomers you rely too much on technology also Boomers I suppose they're just as obsessed with their phones as we are they just don't want to admit it because they have to keep the moral High Ground if we ever build a car that moves as fast as light we won't be able to use the headlight it's true but that's fine because if anybody drives a car that's as fast as light they're going to die every haha Coca-Cola lost 4 billion just by Ronaldo sipping water that's going to hurt Coca-Cola who also owns danani Vitamin Water and fresa you know they didn't actually lose anything right they didn't actually lose $4 billion that literally didn't happen that's not how it works what you think some IRS agent showed up and went all right that's $4 billion the dude drank water no Dream works okay remember this is a kids movie the music at the end of Shrek 2 doesn't have to be too crazy the end of Shrek 2 one of this generation's greatest cinematic masterpieces me falling in love God using my crush to hurt me for character development well you have to develop sometime all right when you work with the public employees must stop crying before returning to work no you can't make me dogs yeah I ate your underwear a stick from the backyard and rotting garbage from the dumpster what of it also dogs you switched dog food brands and now I have diarrhea commercials on Mother's Day show her your love for her commercials on Father's Day give him a [ __ ] drill that's the one thing I would look forward to least about being a dad is Father's day because I'm not going to be the one that like uses drills and builds houses and like that hey dude yeah she was flirting with you oh you piece of [ __ ] my video game character I got to max level through side quests the level one enemy what we've been studying the blade what have they been been doing walking around in circles single mothers getting ready to make Father's Day about them you never see it done the reverse I've never seen it done the other way Batman doesn't go down without a fight right without a fight right remember it is what Heroes do Society you can't be friends with the gender you're attracted to well I guess I'm bisexual now some tryhard mofo me just trying to have fun after a long day God I hate competitive culture it is so F boring I'm 19 give me a beer already you're too young go drink some coke I can't read that kid beats cancer weebs for no reason but can he beat up Goku though I don't know he beat cancer probably I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend false I'll be happy when I get into a good college I'll be happy when I get good grades I'll be happy when I get a good job we're all clowns me walking past cute girl my brain you could go talk to her but how yeah you really do have to pick and choose your times just because you walk walk past somebody that you may or may not be physically attracted to doesn't mean you need to go talk to them and them humans born in a safe hospital bed far from any danger giraffes well say me carefully inspecting an item at the grocery store because someone is standing in front of the one you want yeah and then they proceed to sit there for like 35 F minutes or even better when they answer the phone and have a conversation right in front of the you need and then they give you a dirty look when you say excuse me nothing much just me kicking my phone to prevent it from falling too hard YouTube demonetizing everything because it's not for kids YouTube kids I thought they Chang the rules so that you couldn't monetize things made for kids friend just gets back from a trip abroad it was so awesome you should totally go me I'd kill to go overseas the US military you would well here just sign your actual rights away and become our property for a set amount of time amount of people who post but don't upboat amount of people that upboat but don't post as as it should be looks nice is nice is mean looks mean is nice is mean it tastes just like real meat meat tastes disgusting vegetarians never met a vegetarian that said that meat tastes disgusting vegans on the other hand hey dude you've got a notification I upvoted Your Meme thank you man white girls when a minority actually speaks up against them you're a minority start acting like it assassin retires his former boss I got one last mission and that is mobile games now mobile games in 2014 look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power it really was a simpler time and look at least some of the mobile games back in 2014 or before were actually games 10-year-old me with $20 20-year-old me with $200 well yeah you're 20 you got bills B single moms should get Father's Day for their struggles Mother's Day scrolling Reddit be like you have 3 seconds to impress me I mean I think that way too and then I scroll for 2 hours anyway most people I want my name on a bench when I die so I can be remembered this guy dedicated to Hayden K forever missed by his friends and family he's not dead yet he's just become increasingly antisocial me uninstalling Zoom from my computer the mission the nightmares they're finally over I don't know why the hell we used Zoom anyway why I'd rather go back to using Skype than ever use zoom once Minecraft youtubers now looks like you're going to die George ah Minecraft youtubers then hello guys today we're doing the explosives mod right you've seen too many omn Man memes here have a Snickers a thanks little guy me purchases a paintbrush from Amazon Amazon for the next 4 weeks I heard you paint houses you heard wrong Amazon me on Friday night ready to party with the gang after consistently getting 4 hours of sleep throughout the work week hooray he me wanting to get on the playground random kid out of nowhere password uh butts no uh farts that was it wasn't it my teacher looking at me attempting my exam me who's marking Answers by Rolling my pencil why would you do that LOL can you actually write a sentence uh uh hey my Spider Sense is telling me your future self is talking about you yeah well [ __ ] that guy me casually talking with my friends as if I didn't fap to some questionable 10 minutes ago y'all are weird you've heard of the United States of America United condom Soviet onion Japan geroni France Czech Republic Spain and highand now get ready for Philippines and Vietnam me opens Reddit in public Reddit I said we're only showing not safe for work stuff today there are settings that will block out the thumbnails of that or you could own it and watch porn on on the bus like a real man me to my broken old laptop after using zoom on it for 7 hours a day for over a year you can rest now using the normal meme using RTX to make it better that's right you son of a me gets up at 300 a.m. to use the bathroom my brain hey remember that scary movie you watched last week shut up my teacher watching her computer freaking melt after someone submitted a 500 terabyte zip bomb huh the robbers and my house searching for money me searching with them oh sh yeah let's find it together dudes scammer your son has had a serious accident and is in the hospital 14-year-old me realizing that I have a son no no Californians are rapidly moving to other states literally every other state maybe the grass is greener over there because you're not over there it up your swimming experience as a kid was never complete unless you tried to stand on one of these underwater well I mean I can barely swim as an adult so I never had any complete swimming experience dude me wondering why my friend stopped laughing the teacher oh yeah she going to rip your head off my grandpa who watched his buddies die in the war and never shed a tear my ass crying cuz I spilled my tendies come on my dad who asked for repairing tools me who doesn't know the name of the tools yeah that's not your fault though that's entirely his fault he's supposed to [ __ ] teach you that when the waiter comes out with a tray of food but then walks past you hating Tik Tok because it's cringe hating Tik Tock because it's normalizing the sexualization of young girls it really is I just want Vine back just give us Vine back twitch then twitch now you damn right we upgraded Big Time boys the fall of the USSR in 1991 Pizza Hut introduced to the USSR in 1990 they did it man they set out with a goal in mind and they F did it girls going together on vacation this will be so great I can't wait boys going on vacation now say I swear to not under any circumstances fap on the toilet or the shower otherwise I will be kicked out what the [ __ ] is wrong with you people you're such a dumb animal you have to pay to drink water monkey we U that's about it folks I love honey but you know what I don't love video posts that take me to YouTube what doesn't make any goddamn sense what are you talking about they call me 0070 willpower to finish the rest of this meme good I didn't want to see the rest of it please give blood this thing Thursday just got to stop by on the left to uh H seems legit to me for those questioning if that's a valid sign it is I know because I literally recognize this place this is on the Gold Coast it's a cavaret restaurant what gives people feelings of power money status saying someone else's joke but louder Amy Schumer is that you the main boss introducing himself hello me knowing he is going to absolutely destroy me goodbye my knowledge about video game maps I know the intricate details of every single Nook and Granny found in this crevice my knowledge about my own City's map where's the trade station 5 minutes away okay but how how far away is that 7-year-old me on my way to see if my dad won the wrestling match Bing hi Dad did you wind oh you sounded like you're doing really good there Dad I'm so proud of you Dad but that was just a warm up now it's my turn dad you got to face against me dad types of headaches migraine hypertension stress ises when you forget a really good meme IA girls no I've worn this dress three times this month already boys yeah I'm not coming why because my shirt smells freaking fantastic and only damned if anyone else gets to sniff it away than I do Society we must do everything to save the environment before it's too late also the society when people are already consuming many times more than they ever possibly needed more Blade Runner when he he ran with with a play I don't know I didn't watch the movie me according to my grandma meanwhile me IRL your grandma standards deeper than that c crippling void of loneliness you have you buy an nft you struggle to find a significant other you make an nft dating app lonely ape the nft dating service canceled due to a lack of women H implying that there's only women who are dating prospects try again normal movie hello I'm the director here is my movie Christopher Nolan movie I'm Christopher Nolan and here is my M he yeah cool movie a big a part in it is a m muava mu pan bread with cranky men in the corner yep memes sometimes you don't really feel like you're missing out on anything when you're dropping your friend home after a party and your parents start sharing embarrassing memories oh you're great thanks Mom yeah that's you know this look go great for my school bullying experience nobody Jeep owners when they Park if I take up more spaces than I need then people are less inclined to want to damage my car in some sort of revengeful rage I am a grown man I'm a big adult I can do [Music] this my personality so beautiful my low class salary my generic Android cell phone Apple offering me the iPhone this could be us but you playing look at us on top of the world no longer bound by the chains of society instead Bound by religion yeah that's better me approaching the toilet the poop in my butt weirdly enough a very accurate representation of the struggles though I'd certainly avoid physically yanking anything down there that's o That's going to create a mess someone commented on my Reddit post yay from 100 days ago oh Gordon Ramsay be like this tastes like my balls and what is that sensation like what your balls Mr Gordon what is that delicacy like which one about my superiors require your balls what oh god what the hell is that my mom realizing my Happy Meal Burger came with yucky pickles and onions me not wanting to get banned from another McDonald's mom put the stick down he's probably thinking about other women other women are of no importance to yassin's username pushu 69420 replied to my new On's all arguing would the average reditor be like what are your bank details what kind of creep asks for another person's bank details add hin okay imagine if I asked for your bank details what about ISM well it's illegal to steal people's money appeal to Authority fallacy the best way to win is by not playing going to the comment section already knowing what the reused Schmitty jokes and opinions will be there yeah but just like a delicious mud cake from woolies you just can't stop grabbing another another slice can you you'd only get the beauty of a mud cake if you grew up poor every year and your parents couldn't afford any other fancy kind of cake five revie said your hotel smells funny it's not funny at all when you treat her just right and she still don't give you that that what what oh give you that um uh something hinges doesn't give you a pack of two hinges for 230 virgin Romanian flag chat chat flag me who knows damn well I just ruined a conversation my friends were having by telling a joke well guess I'll die huh I love your accent say it again me okay you think you're clever School District we are taking away your laptops over summer break me so does that mean we don't have homework School District No you must complete all the online assignments we assigned you confused when your cheeks hit the Taco Bell toilet seat freck it begins my Ascension when you ask someone if they're choking and they don't respond and just keep grabbing their throat all right then keep your secrets I'm no tattletail hey could you quickly just fill out this life insurance form thanks when my ex sees me after I have been using her as gym motivation my ex holding some long bright blue thing that buzzes what have you become me I am what you made me Dubai using their location as a global Airport Hub to become a major worldclass city smart Innovative great way to bring some Revenue to your country also do buy not having a sewage system well I can't blame them I two don't like to deal with other people's Schmid me a cashier ready to go home after a long shift my manager walking towards me with like five tals that need to be dropped did you resold your old shoes or retire them the answer is yes me start playing a video game my parents he can't do that shoot him or something this is why you shouldn't let let Grandpa drive those poor absolutely legitimate aliens why Biden why the Republicans already have enough to complain about cute girl acts flirty with me my teenage brain I choose to not understand these signs guys what would you do if a guy asked to sleep with your woman for 700 Grand me I got the angles perfect for you guys you just have fun you have a good time I got some my candy condoms you need condoms people who like the smell of gasoline don't sniff it it's bad for your lungs drink it it tastes good fruit snacks are candy don't believe the lies hi look it's Devil May Cry or something I don't know I never played it marketing cookie M I believe you mean spyware literally that is spyware in these states it is illegal for bagle to hold public office however if an eagle is allowed to hold the public office then the Beagle shall have to contest it otherwise it will be considered illegal to legally allow the beity of the my face went I just ate extra rice extra veggies chicken and scallops at hiachi and I'm still hungry the whole freaking internet suddenly after 2018 spyware spyware everywhere America hey England can I copy your homework England sure just don't make it too obvious the homework so we'll actually add some shoulder padding and you know protective equipment because we have a brain elon's self-esteem literally billions of dollars hey got you brother the internet when you go for a swim oh no you don't unicorn heavy assault unicorn High speeded submersible unicorn tactical air strike unicorn dual wielding gravity defying unicorn Gamers after someone tells them that the Xbox 360 is 17 years old this year shut up no shut shut your mouth right now shut up the best part of the 1984 classic film The Terminator is when the Terminator himself walks in and says this Unforgettable line it's terminating time my friend whenever I introduce them to my fetishes oh there there it's never easy six tickets for opener by Christopher Nolan 2023 did you know all shrimp were born male but slowly grow into females as they mature ah like ticktockers the newest in bad photo angle range torso by Tesla India is saving endangered rhinos with one simple trick poachers hate them Kazar as ruthless Rangers have reduced Rhino poaching by simply gunning down poaches at sight who knew you could put bullets in these things and they stop moving if true is to false yes is to nose correct nose no not nose no oh yes that was oh so it's nose no me trying to shoot an enemy my enemy well you'll still get the Collision kill just not with a bullet the homie yeah I got a fine girl oh yeah show me a picture all right shows picture oh she mad up ugly no she ain't the homie's girlfriend beaut is on the inside how I go to bed after just washing my face with the same washcloth I use to clean my bowls H just don't think about it just don't think about it just don't think about it just don't think about it oh Jesus did his feet get wet Americans when you ask them where Luxembourg is I have no idea what you want me to do random redditor wondering why they keep constantly getting the same upvote over and over me with my phone again my balls

Channel: EmKay

Views: 281,378

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, compilation, dankmemes

Id: rijGcnmD5o0

Length: 126min 24sec (7584 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 24 2024