Doctors Share Brainless "DIY Treatments" Performed By Patients - (r/AskReddit)

our /oscar etic by planet reddit medical professionals have reddit what is the craziest DIY treatment you've seen a patient attempt anesthesiologist here we had a patient comment for IMD of bilateral deltoids abscesses he apparently had thoughts of being a bodybuilder but instead of lifting weights or knowing someone who could hook him up with some quality steroids he decided to bulk up by using some protein powder as GNC and mixing it with water drawing it up into a syringe and injecting 20-40 CC daily directly into the muscle if bulk was what he was going for it definitely worked temporarily a rip-roaring localized infection makes you look plenty swell they got almost a liter of pus mixed with liquefied protein powder out of each deltoid this also wasn't the first time he'd been in for this problem the last line kills me try it once shame on you try it more than once what the duck are you doing with your life my dad had an abscess on his face it was huge about the size of a golf ball and horribly read it kept getting bigger my mom a nurse kept telling him to go to the doctor but my dad was a ridiculous cheap ass one day when she was gone we noticed that a big white head had formed on the abscess and it was apparently ready to bust my dad went out to the garage got his shot back placed it over the white head and proceeded to suck out the abscess it worked surprisingly well and healed up after that nicely mom was still furious though paramedic here once had to explain to a family that putting lemon juice in the eyes of an unconscious patient isn't an approved treatment method it didn't work it was an interesting moment when I had to explain why his eyes hurt smelling salts equals seeing acids if I've learned anything from reading the comments here it's that some men will tolerate almost any amount of pain to avoid a doctor seeing whatever stupid [ __ ] they've done to themselves this is no exception I once spoke to the paramedic who went out to a man at 2:00 a.m. who had excruciating pain down below the poor organ was wrapped tightly in soaking bandages and underneath was a blackened penis with large pass filled holes in it the man eventually admitted that each of the chicken bone a clean one whatever that means down his [ __ ] for pleasure predictably enough he couldn't get it out and being too embarrassed to go to the doctor he left it and left it until he was in so much pain he couldn't walk both from the rotted penis and the fact he hadn't been able to urinate for days apparently you could actually see the bone once the wound was cleaned and although not an expert my friend couldn't imagine that what was left to a salvageable I had a guy comment for coughing and shortness of breath for the past few months his lungs sounded like absolute [ __ ] got a chest x-ray that looked horrible so I did a CT scan radiologists called it the worst case of necrotizing pneumonia he'd ever seen dude had like a 15 percent functional lung tissue left the patient then mentioned things had been worse after he started using a new breath freshener spray he whipped out one of those blunt effects concentrated air freshener bottles supposed to cover up we'd smell labeled not for internal use apparently he had been using it like vinegar spray and had already gone through three bottles what happened to him in nursing school while I was on clinical rotation in urology there was a man who ended up having his penis removed it turned out he had an infection brewing for quite a while and thought the best course of action was placing a sock over his penis in hope that it would heal he was generally confused and upset as to why this didn't work to heal the issue are the classic if I can't see it then it's not a problem one of my first clinic patients was a dude who was injecting a mixture of testosterone human growth hormone sesame oil and sunflower oil into the base of his penis as a DIY penile enlargement therapy well it got infected so he ended up going to the ed4 incision and drainage I saw him as a post he D visit and at that time he figured that he shouldn't be injecting into his penis while it was healing so instead he was injecting his oil plus sketchy hormones off the internet concoction everywhere else into his body arms legs butt shoulders et Cie because he figured it would still have some effect today I learned some men are capable of committing atrocious heinous acts of terror on their own dongs there's a myth that lowering someone's core temperature will save them from an opiate overdose as a result many first responders have arrived on scenes to find friends fellow users and certain ice into someone's rectum sometimes they don't have ice around though which leads to getting inventive popsicles frozen hotdogs my personal favorite which regrettably I didn't witness myself it was told to me by another medic was a bag of frozen french fries cold will do nothing to help someone who is overdosing on heroin or other opiates what they need is respiratory support oxygen and/or artificial ventilation and Malik's own narcan if you're a user or no one and somebody Odie's call 9-1-1 perform mouth-to-mouth and give narcan if you have it but leave the popsicles in the freezer I work in dental and years ago had a patient attempt to superglue her front tooth back on after it broke in half she screwed up and ended up gluing the chunk to her upper lip I had a dental patient with a dead front tooth that has turned black so she painted it with white nail polish daily edit this is now my top-rated comment how stupid is that law yes she had a daily routine of drying it off painting it and blow-drying the polished dry crazy thing is she did a pretty good job this happened when I was still a med student doing a rotation in the IDI patient comes in and is pretty vague about his actual complaint something about head pain but he looks just fine sitting waiting to be see when I finally get to see him and ask him what actually happened he removes the hat he was wearing and a chunk of skin about the size of my hand literally flaps off of his skull this guy managed to basically scalp himself and apparently it had him like that for three days according to him it was caused by falling in his bathroom and hitting his head on the toilet he had been previously duct taping it down or using the hat to hold the skin on but it wasn't sticking well and that's when his wife convinced him to come to the hospital I like my skin on my body more than I dislike hospitals just reading that made me woozy how the duck did he walk around for three days like that pharmacist here worked in a shop where a woman asked for some advice about potential UT or stay told me she had bathed her vagina in Bleach for 5 minutes to try and kill any bacteria and miraculously she hadn't done any lasting damage a 50 year-old man swallowed a chicken bone while eating and it got stuck down his throat upper esophagus unable to take it out with his fingers or coughing he got a fish a hook with a line and tried to rescue the bone with it he ended in an emergency department with both the bone in the hook in his esophagus edit to add some info both objects had to be extracted endoscopically and then the patient recovered after receiving antibiotics in the hospital perforation of the esophagus causes medius tinnitus infection of the space between the lungs which carries higher mortality an old lady told me the rain hurt her arthritis that's reasonable she also swore - dogs spit at healing properties so she let her dogs lick her feet when she felt it coming on she then wanted to show me a video of said dogs licking said feet by swiftly and politely declined adult patient had gas and poked the hole in his belly button with basically a knitting needle to release it let it it didn't work he actually came in for the ensuing infection in his bellybutton I didn't think it was possible to ever cringe this hard you've proved me wrong I work in oncology Pharmacy I had a patient die of totally treatable breast cancer because they decided to treat it with mistletoe instead of chemo all because Suzanne Somers did yeah the ThighMaster lady don't take medical advice from the ThighMaster lady the most heartbreaking thing I've seen is a desperate husband bring his wife in a death's door they were young with two kids under 10 she'd been diagnosed with breast cancer and didn't like what our oncologist was telling her shit's terrifying to be fair she then left the UK so or chemo surgery free at point of access and followed the alternatives practices recommended by some witch doctor in her own country or by the time husband dragged her back she was too far gone had spread to so many organs trouble with breathing groggy seizures from brain Mets I work a needy I don't know how oncologists and palliative care teams do what they do of all the horrible traumas I've dealt with this is one of the most upsetting cases I've ever picked up a little late to this threat but have a weird one a patient was told by her doc that she had low magnesium and should consider supplements not uncommon instead of getting mg supplements she ate an entire tub of homeopathic volcanic ash and completely destroyed her electrolyte imbalance and ended up in iku mitad her as a pharmaceutical over there so poison control automatically follows up with you it was hard to explain to them edit it was probably naturopathic not homeopathic I don't know enough about specific differences think of a tub of protein power but volcanic ash her husband brought it in for the poison control report you were supposed to mix a scoop in water for the health benefits she ate the whole tub and had a seizure and read her kidneys the activated charcoal volcanic ash for me that was all over her when she came from emmerich was a beach to clean up ate an entire tub of homeopathic volcanic ash damn that's some advanced stupid right there a mentally delayed woman came in septic to the IDI dibbs raised blood cultures urine cultures the works finally found this weird image on her pelvis film and we had gin come to a pelvic exam they pulled out this blog with bones in it your I swear to God it was a decomposing frog she put it in her vagina for safekeeping she got toxic shock syndrome from a frog edit just realized that the topic was about DIY treatment and my story doesn't really match it I guess there wasn't anything she was trying to fix except maybe the lack of frogs in her vagina dart frog that's a typo yes please repeated for her pleasure so which one two three of you sick ducks gilded me not me but my boss mother of the child I care for is a nurse practitioner I asked her what the worst thing she had witnessed was she continued on to tell me the story of a man who had stapled his ball sack together and onto his body after slipping with the razor he had it that way for days metal holding his poor testicles in place in fact hidden gross as you would expect before he came to a professional later admitted his ex attempted to castrate him the Bulls lived later admitted his ex attempted to castrate him I guess that's why you don't judge people when they come in with weird injuries dude came to the IDI because his leg was swollen I'm talking like twice the size of his other leg it turned out that his fourth and fifth toes were getting caught on his sock which to be fair sounds super annoying so he cut them the duct off with scissors and then it got infected and he waited and waited and that's how he lost his entire ducking leg long story but had a young teenager with sickle-cell disease who had been in the hospital for around a week already who decided to manage his pain himself this was a few years ago but I caught him pretending to take his meds he would coke his head back and gesture that the pill went into his mouth but really he either kept it's in his hand or threw the pill behind his back and landed somewhere in his bed he was also quite a talker which I then assumed was a tactic to try and distract me I kept seeing his odd behavior and caught him doing this a 2-3 times by the middle of the shift so I was definitely on to him but he had a P IC C Line which is essentially a long IV where the tubing goes all the way to your heart in his left arm and I noticed that it was quite a bit more swollen compared to his other arm sometimes clots can happen in P IC C limes so that was my biggest concern at first but the line was drawing blood fine so I know it wasn't clotted off tailed the doc then I drew blood from his P ICC line and sent it down to the lab for it to be cultured to see if there was any bacteria lo and behold it came back positive for a bacteria that is commonly found in tap water and usually not a source of infection in infected P ICC lines a fast forward a few hours later he confessed that with any oral medication pill form he can slip by the nurses he saved for later in order to crush them up himself try to dissolve it with sink water in the bathroom every room had a private bathroom and inject it in himself via his pee ICC line what the dark why why would that be any better than swallowing the damn meds having once seen a commercial that oatmeal can lower cholesterol the patient's started having chest pains and tried to resolve it with a bowl of oatmeal we had a guy come in with an abscess on his right thumb when I asked him what happened to his hand he told me about his recent deep-sea fishing trip and was given the responsibility of cutting the fish with an open wound in his hand a sliver of fish got in there and became infected as it healed so this guy gets the bright idea of doing a little DIY wound drainage by grabbing his pocketknife and cutting it open leading to a greater infection yep I had a crack addict cut her thumb on her broken crack pipe the thumb was incredibly infected she grew tired waiting for the hand surgeon to arrive he was in the operating room with another patient so she bit her finger to release the pass then she left the hospital cursing the staff the whole time because we are useless etc as a child I got really bad sunburn the person looking after me coated my sunburn in baby oil to help it heal and sent me back out into the Sun I realized when I was older why my mum went nuts I have a Jamie Oliver recipe that directs me to do the same thing midway through the roasting a chicken the secret is in the baby oil makes it taste like a real baby my mom once melted vicks vapor rub into my tea because she thought that would help my cold it didn't I know people who would do this more than one of them they'd swear by Vicks VapoRub and kind of treated it like a cure-all my dad more than once ate a tablespoon of Vicks when he had a cold neighbor came over to borrow a chainsaw I noticed he had a thick bandage around his arm and asked him what happened he said he fell out of a tree last week and cut his arm I asked if he got stitches and he said he just wrapped it and his family praying over it about four days later I seen his wife and she said he was really sick and may have the flu come to find out he had septicemia and dying he died a week later of kidney failure and sepsis I was getting a kick out of all the stories on here but this one is just sad hurting a sex toy up the rectum to better reach another larger sex toy I just read the other day about a dude who got a dildo stuck up there and then got the kitchen tongs he was using to extract said dildo stuck up there too not sure if this is serious are just tongue in cheek patient used to get boners in class and it embarrassed him so he used rubber bands to prevent it ended up killing the tissue in his penis and now he needs a catheter for life a man who LexA dentally sliced his leg open at his workplace he obviously figured that if surgeons use staples to close wounds he'd cut out the trip to hospital and DIY with an ordinary desk stapler arrived a needy with a pus-filled wound with the odd discolored staple hanging off it some days later I am NOT a medical professional but my father-in-law had severe skin cancer he basically had an open sore on his back for several years that bled and bled we never knew about it until one day we saw pancake sized crater through his shirt went to the hospital finally in they basically said he has cancer throughout his whole body at this point his response was he thought it was a cut that wouldn't heal and put gauze and neosporin on it edit since folks are curious yes he is still alive but they didn't give him much time left they managed to treat the wound but the cancer spread into his organs and bones the sad part is it could have been avoided if he just went to the doctor years prior but that is unfortunately the common mindset in a lot of older folks god that's terrible I've found that sort of attitude is common among older people though where they sort of shrug and get on with it when my granddad was young he fell and dislocated his shoulder he decided to just pop it back in himself and forget about it it's never properly healed and still causes Payne so many years later a friend of mine had a similar situation went over a year with a sore on his foot that wouldn't heal GF finally talked him into seeing a doctor found out he was diabetic in severe ketoacidosis I'm sure I spelled that wrong and ended up in the hospital for several months and lost his leg above the knee he's also looking at a possible kidney transplant if he can't follow the compliance diet which he doesn't like vegetables are gross he's in his early 40s white bread soaked in milk placed on an armpit abscess to draw out the infection needed an IND and a couple weeks of IV antibiotics by the time he got to us either that or the guy who crashed his motorbike scraped his leg all to hell and then decided the best course of action was to self cauterize it on the tailpipe ro stupid or not the tailpipe guy had a set of brass ones then decided the best course of action was to self cauterize it on the tailpipe [Music] when I worked an ER my colleague had to see a guy with an ear problem he had something stuck in his ear and had been trying to get it out this wasn't a new thing he'd been trying for some time turned out he had completely removed his time panic membrane and the bits that was stuck in his ear in that he was trying to pick up with cotton buds and hair clips were his ossicles enjoy I have consistent skin irritation in my ears and try and limit myself to sticking cotton buds in my ears to four times a week for relief thank you you've cured me of this vise and I'm setting myself on fire good day I sent a story to my dad who is an end he responded with this story today I saw the guy whose dog bit off the top one stroked four of his ear he brought into peace at the dog tore off I rinsed it with peroxide and sewed it back on the fun never ends god bless medical professionals I could never do it had a patient come into the ER with a makeshift bandage on his chin he had fallen on rocks while hiking and left a three-inch long half-inch deep gash in his leg I go to call the bandage off and as I'm peeling it away I noticed the skin is completely black and there's dart chunks of fungus falling out of the wound it looked necrotic like it had been left alone for a week I look at this guy like he's crazy as he tells me the wound is only a few hours old he's pretty proud as he explained that he created a makeshift purchase by chewing up leaves and moss mixing it with river mud and stuffing it into his leg that's what all the black mossy stuff was and don't do this was it bleeding when he came in checkmate yeah I want to know the answer to this as well and why chew it all up why not just mush it with your fingers seems like taking bacteria from your mouth to your wound is not a great idea not that any of this is a good idea my grandpa thought a leg discrepancy was causing my back pain which was causing spasms he put several pieces of cardboard in my shoes to try to even out my eggs which were already even he also thinks black beams cure everything my dad thought those pesky spasms was a pinched nerve so he would take me to the chiropractor his girlfriend to get my neck cracked when it happened seizures people they were seizures black beams are delicious and make a beautiful blue dye that's useful enough for me I'm hoping you get actual medical care now Princess Alexandra Emily of Bavaria one eight two six one eight seven five believed she had accidentally eating a grand piano made of glass and was afraid it would break inside of her thanks for watching subscribe for three videos a day [Music]

Channel: Ask Planet

Views: 3,922

Rating: 4.75 out of 5

Keywords: askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, reddit ama, ask me anything, reddit ask me anything, r/IAMA, r/prorevenge, r/amitheasshole, r/legaladvice, r/letsnotmeet, sir reddit, doctor reddit

Id: JYFwwnlmJW8

Length: 22min 47sec (1367 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 28 2019