The Art Of Re-Attracting Your Woman

hi I'm coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of this newsletter is going to be the art of RIA tracting your woman I've got an email here from a viewer I think this is probably the second email that I'm going to be answering from him he wrote me on a month or two ago about his marriage of 23 years and he was trying to retract his wife so he's obviously made some progress since then but there's still some things that he's struggling with so we're going to go through this email and on the actual article my website I'll put a link back to the original video that I did for him a month or two ago so you can kind of see the progress that he's been making but before we get into it I got a quote I'm going to share with you and it says the purpose of all relationships is that you go there to give to people come together to share their completeness not complete each other when you feel inadequate unloved or that your lover is slipping away the worst thing that you can do is pursue them in order to validate yourself and that they still love you this very act is needy and secure behavior that will make you appear as if you feel like you don't deserve them we all want to be loved without attachments or a loss of our freedom but not to be loved by someone who feels like they need us in order to feel good about themselves we want an equal a teammate not an energy vampire that drains us or makes us feel like we can't be ourselves or that we will lose our freedom by being with them let's go ahead and get jump right into his email he says hey Cory you're very fast at putting up videos and I thank you he says I also read your book two times and I'm on the third time and I'm employing all of your knowledge as best I can well that's the best you can do the idea is just to try to get a little bit better each day it's a process and there is a process that you're going to have to take until you get to that place where you own this material and you don't feel neediness you're not pursuing too much you're not backing off too much you hit kind of the middle of the road sweet spot and if you're doing everything right a guy should never be doing more than 20 to 30% of calling texting and pursuing when a guy does that it's too much pursuing and it causes the woman her attraction level to drop and that will prevent her from falling in love so the more you text them further you're gonna delay her falling for you again he says since three weeks ago me and my wife have been doing better but last week we spent three nights in a row back home he says I'm still moved out and I got the feeling it's too much for her kind of two steps forward and one step back well that's great you weren't really spending hardly any time together I think there was another dude in the picture if I remember right he says and she did talk about needing space in room so I'm backing off I only speak to her when she calls or texts and when she texts I can't help but still telling or saying to her I want more you got to cut that [ __ ] out dude you're just got to be grateful and appreciative then when she reaches out you got to think of it is like putting a cake in the oven it's going to take a certain amount of time for the dough to rise but you keep opening the door every couple of minutes it lets the hot air out and you never ruin the cake in essence you ruin the sexual attraction I had a girlfriend one of the ones I wrote about my book years ago and her mother by the way both took me aside and in essence told me that you've got to let her come to you and my girlfriend said let me come to you don't try to force things and so that's what's going on here is you're still trying to force things because you're fearful that you're going to lose her and what you fear you attract and so when you take actions based upon fear you're going to get the exact opposite result which is actually making what you fear a reality you're gonna for caused it to manifest in your life he says after I don't see he after he told her he wanted more she gets defensive the reason she's getting defensive is because she feels like she's going to lose her freedom instead of her coming to you because it's got to be her idea and if you're trying to force her hat you can't force a woman to fall in love the women are not light switches I mean obvious us us guys we're visual we see a girl we know whether or not we want that particular woman and women on the other hand it's there's an old saying it's been around for a long time men fall in love through their eyes and women through their ears there's you just cannot shortcut the process of letting that attraction and sexual tension build on her part you got to give her space and time like I said it's a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear and when you try to force something it's a turn-off to her because in essence what's going on is you're acting like a woman and women want a guy to be more of a man than they are he says instead of me being happy for her being with me and still kissing me from time to time and even some hot and heavy action in the bedroom I'm trying to gauge when I'm overdoing it because I think she's ready for more that's the problem you're making assumptions it's always best to ask good quality questions like what do you mean what do you think let her explain these things to you instead of you making assumptions and then taking action upon those assumptions because you're obviously finding out by now that your assumptions are most often wrong and the reason they're wrong is because you're coming from a place of fear you fear losing this woman and it's clouding your judgment and it's inhibited your ability to act like a masculine alpha male is supposed to act he says but she's not and she goes backward for a bit like a breather it's like yeah I wrote about this in my book it's like sometimes I would back off just enough and then when things would start going well I start trying to force it again and then she would back off and I would set myself back a week or two and it just sucks when that happens because you get all excited oh wow it's really starting to happen again now I said she starts to go cold on you in reality she's just responding to how in essence you're perceiving yourself in the relationship he says she has told me that she loves me and is very sexually attracted to me well that's definitely a good thing he says but last night we were making out and touching he says it was not love it was just a moment I can't figure if she was being honest or just protecting herself from being too open or vulnerable judge women by what they're doing in the present moment he doesn't matter what they did yesterday or last week they're 20 minutes ago the only thing that matters is what they're doing right now and the more you can stay in the present moment and not react but respond to how she's behaving in the present moment the easier it's going to be for you to do the right things in the present moment because you're getting all wrapped up in your head about what may or may not happen in the future and you're looking at what's happened in the past even if it was just yesterday and you're not looking at what's going on right now women are emotional beings and just like mother nature you know I specially like living in Flor there's an old old saying that if you don't like the weather in Florida just wait 10 minutes I mean things change that quickly with the weather in Florida and women emot-- are emotional beings and sometimes that's their they're affected the same way can't take it personally because the idea is that you've got to be who you are you've got to stand in your masculine Center and no matter what your woman is doing it shouldn't cause you to totally come completely unglued he says like if we were just horny or something so I kept the pace and also the other guy in another state because I guess there was another guy in the picture she was talking to or something like that so he says the other guy and would listen to what the other guy is doing and you're gonna see firsthand how he's now starting to turn her off which is great because this is going to drive her back into your arms as long as you're not over pursuing her he said so this other guy in the other stage has been hearing less from her by phone or text and he's now pursuing a lot he puts in capital letters he says but I don't know it still makes me upset that she does still give him a sum window last week he says it was great that we got along very well here's a deal I mean it's like she had kicked you out dude and in her mind your relationship was over and she was talking about divorce now you're hanging out having fun and hooking up she's spending more time with you you were actually staying the night over at her house again and this other guy that was potentially back of this emotional relationship that she was developing with this guy it's now she's putting less energy into that and more energy into you you got to look objectively at the actions and she's moving in the right direction you know it's kind of like I may have shared this story one time one of my spiritual teachers once said he says like he was talking about enlightenment he says it's like the train for enlightenment it says once it leaves the station you running around inside the Train is not going to cause it to get to the destination any faster so you might as well sit down relax and enjoy the ride I mean think about you ever see James Bond sweating in the movies does he ever look fearful or worried that he's not going to get the girl especially when she protests and says there's no way you're getting my pants basically he always has that boyish smirk like yeah whatever you're gonna be naked in my bed later I'm and that's what always happens he says but I have to figure out when to back off and let her be to soak this in let her come to you when she reaches out to you make the next date to get together and then get off the phone it's really simple he says she did tell me that she was pissed at me for just now getting it he puts in big letters at being the husband she needed and wanted back then that's great that's a good compliment she's basically saying I like what you're doing but it really [ __ ] pisses me off and it took you so long to figure this out why because she was telling you all along what to do but you were ignoring her and you weren't listening to her so what's great you're making the adjustments that you need to make he says but she hasn't filed for divorce nor has she uttered the words divorce she waited in her math of many years and now I wonder like she said and he put some big letters if I waited for you 20-some odd years you can wait for me again she's saying be patient let me come to you at my own pace stop acting like a needy and secure jackass and of course she's going to be a little pissed off at you because I hurt her because in essence you were being a man in the relationship it was causing her to have to be more of the man in the relationship and just can't let that [ __ ] bother you man he says I hope she's not going to do that one he says I don't think I can make it well that's a nice positive outlook I mean James Bond always think from the end of course I'm gonna get her back you guys been together 23 [ __ ] years and this other dude that she was talking to obviously she hasn't known for very long she has a lot more time on you with you and you have a deeper bond with her emotionally so all you have to do is not [ __ ] it up not chase her out of your life is he says I guess my question is how can I gaze when to back off without her telling me what's happening is that she starts to show some interest and she starts to pursue you and you're like great and then you go right back to your old ways of over pursuing over calling over texting and it turns her right off again the idea is to let her come to you you should never do more than 20 to 30% of the calling texting and pursuing and at this point when she reaches out to you you make the next date and then you get together you hang out yeah fine you hook up it's going to take under normal circumstances when you meet a girl from the get-go it takes about two months about week seven if you do everything right like I talk about my book that's when she starts to really fall for you and want to be exclusive so this is not something that's going to happen in a few days or even a few weeks or even a month this is several months but you're setting yourself back every time you start to over pursue because it drops her level of attraction right in the opposite direction when you do that he says I know you said maybe one to two times a week to see each other but we've been together for 23 years again it doesn't [ __ ] matter all the time you had with her doesn't matter the only thing that matters is what you do right now so he says where's the math on this one let it go forget about it just respond to how she's showing up when she reaches out to you make a date to hang out have fun and hook up and if you keep doing that I mean you should see enough evidence in your relationship already from the the two months or three months that you've been falling what I teach to see her attitude is going gone from get the [ __ ] out of my life I want a divorce too she's spending more time with her she's hooking up because she's sleeping with you she's you're staying the night over there you're going to get there so relax dude it's in the [ __ ] bag you're doing great just keep doing what you're doing but stop over pursuing let her come to you make a date to hang out have fun and hook up and if you'd like to get my help probably the quickest I would definitely recommend for you to book a phone session with me isn't 23-year marriage isn't it worth they do it I mean come on aren't you worth to invest just one hour book one session with me and I can really help you tweak things something to think about you can do it by going on my website click the products tab at the top of your screen and just follow the instructions for booking a paid phone session with yours truly and I will talk to you soon you

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 161,577

Rating: 4.9017816 out of 5

Keywords: The, Art, Of, Reattracting, Your, Woman

Id: A5A64ecbE7U

Length: 14min 35sec (875 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 16 2013