- (FBE) Today, we will be reading
some interesting and slightly awkward text messages.
- Oh, okay. This is really bad because I get
secondhand embarrassment really quick. - Ooh, I've done this before, yes,
but I wonder what kind. - (FBE) This time,
we'll be having you read through 10 different funny and awkward
dad text combos. - Wait, between dads and their sons? Oh. Oh. This should be interesting. - Dads are the funniest people. They're like in a mix
between if they know if they're still a little kid or not,
or if they want to be a grown man. - I've seen them on those
really cheesy Instagram meme accounts. - I haven't experienced that,
so we'll see how this goes. - (as dad) "Hey, honey, did you
pick up those assholes yet? (as son) Wrong person, dad. (as dad) Sorry,
that was for your mother. (as son) Wait, what asshole?
Do you mean me and my sister? (as dad) Yes." - Wow, that's so mean.
My dad would never call-- oh, I take that back. - If you're just being
horrible to your parents and a pain, then I get it. - At least he was honest. He could've been like,
"Oh, no, no, no." He was like, I can't lie. Like, good for him, you know? Honesty is the best policy. He might as well just tell them,
"How are you assholes doing?" - That's probably going
to be me as a parent. - Classic dad. Are these even real, though? If my dad said that
about me and my brother, I'd be, like, hurt. - Honestly, I could see myself
doing this in the future. - (as dad) "You left
your phone at home." (laughing) This is always so funny. How is she gonna see that text? - (as dad) "You left
your phone at home." (chuckling) That's
a very dad thing to do. - Oh, ho-ho-ho, what the heck? - That's something
my dad would do, actually. He'd just say something
and I'd be like, "What are you talking about?
What are you on?" - Knowing parents,
they're gonna be like, "Why didn't you respond to my text?" - He left his phone.
He texted him, but he won't respond
since he left the phone. Get it? 'Cause it's--
'cause it's-- it's funny. - (as dad) "What's
the difference between a piano, a tuna,
and a pot of glue? (as kid) I don't know. (as dad) You can tuna piano,
but you can't piano a tuna." (scoffing) Who laughs like that?
"Hehehehehehe." - (as kid) "What about the glue? (as dad) I knew you'd get stuck there. (as kid) Oh god." (laughing) Oh god.
That's such a dad joke. Except I kind of want to recycle it. - "Hehehe." That's the fake laugh. - My dad does this shit a lot. It's like, dad, please stop. And he's like, "Who's Stop?" - That was bad.
That hurt me. - My dad hasn't said
a dad joke in forever, which I was spared,
but that was good. I'll give you that.
That was good. (as kid) "What about the glue? (as dad) I knew
you'd get stuck there." (chuckling) I hate myself. - "Dad: Hey, do you want
me to buy you something from the store? (as son) Some con--"
Oh, I've seen this one before. This is beautiful. (as son) "Some condoms. Going out with some girls.
I need protection. (as dad) Son. (as son) Yessssss?"
Like, six s's question mark. (as dad) Your face
is enough protection." Boom! His dad's a straight savage. - I like how he put "son."
He's about to let him know-- (laughing) this is a serious matter,
so I gotta let you know before they tell you themselves. - That's a pretty clever dad. - That person's also really bold
to tell their dad that. I guess, honestly, father/son dynamics
are a little different. - But wouldn't that
be a backfire on him because it's like I helped make you,
so you being ugly as protection so you won't get any girls to smash,
you're basically calling yourself ugly because it's like, wow,
he probably got those looks from me. - (laughing) That is not cool, dad. Not cool at all. You need to talk with your son. - (as kid) "Dad, there's a moth
on the outside of our bathroom door. Can you get rid of it? Please, hurry.
I'm going to cry. Dad! Dad! (as dad) Dad is dead.
You're next. Love, Moth." That was creative.
That was cute. That's how I would be as a dad, too. I like that one. - If I have a girl,
I want to be the protective dad, or just mess with her 24/7. - (laughing) I hate this. These dads are so cruel,
but it's funny. - Oh my god, that's so mean. The other day, I was scared
there was a bug in the shower and I was, "Dad, you
need to check every corner." The only thing dads are good for. I'm just kidding.
That's so-- I'm kidding to all the dads out there. - (as kid) "Dad, how long
have you been sober for?" (as dad) 25 years for alcohol
and 17 minutes for porn. (as kid) Okay, thanks for
the added bonus detail, dad." I knew if my dad said this to me,
I would want to go and jump off a cliff. - I don't need to know that. At all. Why would you tell me that? - You think your parents are so pure,
and then you just realize they're not and they've
probably been through way more than you have. - Ew. (chuckling)
That's so gross. - I know that "everyone
watches porn" and whatnot, but I do not need to know
that my father-- from my father--
that he watches porn. That's disgusting. I don't want to know all that. TMI, dad. Blech! - (as kid) "Good job!
And now you're text messaging. Welcome to 2014. (as dad) I'M A NATURAL."
In all caps, that's-- okay. (as kid) Ha ha ha ha ha. (as dad) Voice message 2--" (laughing) That's actually so funny. I could just picture him going,
"Voice message 2 Mellissa." - Yeah, I like how
the "2" is there too, dang. (laughing) Was he typing that?
I'm so confused. - The classic old people
can't use technology joke. - My dad still types like this. [Inaudible] do this or this? It's funny, but I feel like
my dad's getting better at technology. - (laughing) (as dad) "In a meeting.
In a meeting. In a meeting.
In a meeting. In a meeting. In a meeting.
In a meeting. (as kid) Are you in a meeting?" (as dad) No, why?" Why would you ask such a thing? - I'm guessing it was
one of those things where, you know,
when you call someone and they decline it, then
you can have the automatic message that says,
"I can't talk right now, sorry." That's probably what he was doing. - At a certain point, parents
just like to mess with their kids. - (laughing) These are just--
I've had more entertaining conversations with my dad than this. - I haven't really had that problem. My dad butt dials me
all the time, though. - What? Dads are so weird. They have their own
little sense of humor or just their own way of doing things, and I don't think I would
ever understand that. - (as kid) "Hi, daddy,
everything okay? (as dad) I just spent
the last three hours in a bra, so yes, everything is great. (as kid) In a bra?
Does mom know LOL? (dad) In a bar, definitely not a bra. (as kid) That's a relief, dad." - Dads and autocorrect,
they don't go together. They always mess up somehow. - Oh, hey, I even noticed
that it's called "Pop." They're rolling
dice except for this one. I wonder what kind
of people they are. I haven't seen that in a minute. - Still, does mom know he's in a bar? That's the real question. - I was over here thinking
that dad was in a bar, in a bra, and it's like,
"Whoa, dad. Is there something
you need to tell us all?" - (as dad) "Don't come home. Me and your mom
are getting it on tonight. (as kid) Ha ha ha. Gotta hate auto-correct, right? (as dad) What do you mean? (as kid) You made a typo, right? Look at your last text. (as dad) No, I did not make a typo. Dot, dot, dot." See, put a "Don't disturb" sign
or something, or put a sock on the door handle. I think I'd get the message from that. - Disgusting! Disgusting. I don't need to know this stuff. And then they'll be like,
"It's okay. When you find a man,
you'll be able to do the same thing." And it's like, "No.
No, no, no, no. Don't bring that up." - Why don't you just give them
a different excuse, like don't come home because
there's construction going--- I don't know-- something. See, I would be a good parent
because I know these things. - I would throw my phone
into a body of water if I received that text. - (FBE) So overall,
what do you think about all these texts?
- They're embarrassing! It made my stomach bubble,
and now I do realize that dads, in a unison,
are their own species. - I feel like it's very
accurate and stupid. Dads, get with the program. - They're definitely awkward. I mean, some of them
actually made me laugh, like the ones where
it's just really random, dads are clueless to technology. - My favorite one was
actually the moth one because I could see myself doing that. - Dads are so crazy. (laughing) - Thank you for watching
this episode on the React channel. - Let us know in the comments
what we should react to next. - Bye guys. - Hey guys, I'm Zach,
one of the producers of the React channel. Thank you so much for watching. Sorry, one second.
My dad's texting. That's nice of him.
He never texts-- Yeah. He doesn't
need to text me anymore. That's fine.
