- (FBE) Today we have an uncomfortably
fun episode for you. - "Uncomfortably fun." Two words that I didn't think
could go together. - (FBE) We're gonna have you read through 10 different text message conversations that are between people who used to be in a relationship together,
also known as Texts from the Ex. - (chuckles) Okay. - These are gonna be fun. - Oh, so it's gonna be like awkward. (sucks air) Yikes. - Ohh, my gosh. These are the worst! I'm expecting to see people
very angry and pissed off and trying to hurt the other person. - Don't reach out to your ex. Please. Like, the relationship ended for a reason. It's probably good that
you don't go back to it. - "Are you ever gonna
grow up and talk to me?" Wow. That's like the first text? Dang. - "Okay, what would
you like to talk about?" - "I'd rather talk to you in person." Okay, this seems like a normal,
you know, conversation. - "Okay, I'll meet you in the Blockbust--" People still go to Blockbuster? - This is probably old.
They don't have Blockbusters anymore. - "Blockbusters isn't even
a thing anymore." Yep, it's not. - Oh, I kinda see where this is going. "Exactly." Ohhh! Clever. - Daaaang. What? Oh, that's so messed up! - That one's pretty clever.
It's not too mean either. - He was the one being confronted, and he made that up on the spot,
you know? So kudos to him. - That's probably like
heartbreak number two from the same person. Like, dang. You don't even
want to talk to me? I felt that in my soul through the screen. - "Crazy Ex." Well, problem number one:
their name is Crazy Ex. - "Congratulations on
getting engaged, A-hole. I'm never effing talking to you again!" Well, if he's engaged, I don't think you should
talk to him in the first place. He's taken. - "So this means you're
going to leave me alone?" That's what he wants. - "That's exactly what
it means, [bleep]." Ouch. All these cuss words. - "Best present ever." Heh. Great. - That's a pretty crazy ex,
I would say. Good contact name. - You shouldn't talk
to someone that's engaged, especially if that's your ex. The person they're engaged
to is gonna be like, "Why are you talking
to your ex while we're-- we're over here about to get married, and you talking to some bum
that you used to date." - These people are grown adults. They should act a little more mature. Like, this guy's getting married. Like, does he really need
to worry about his ex? If she didn't like him, then why is she so concerned
that he's getting married? You know? Like, they need to grow up. - "Yeah, I just wanted to say hi
and ask if you want to hang out when I get back to California." - That sounds sweet.
That just sounds very innocent. - "Let's talk about all the things
I could have done in the past 10 months." Oh, shit. This is gonna be like an essay. - "Things I didn't do: have a baby, get famous,
eat 78 tacos, become a millionaire." - "Move home, become a ballerina. Things I did do:
get over you. Bye, asshole." Ohh. - 'Eyyyy. Let's go. That's great. - People, they're always like,
"Yes, end him," or whatever. But honestly, this is kinda like extra. - If this person's replying like that, then the ex must've done something
really horrible, you know? So yeah. If your ex wants to talk and they did something
horrible to you, no, [bleep] that. Don't show them sympathy. They didn't give you what you wanted, so don't give them what they want. - "Hi, babe." It already
says "Ex" up there, so they're already done with each other. - "Don't talk to me." - "I'm sorry I cheated on you."
Oh, that's where I stop. No. You shouldn't apol--
if you cheated, you cheated. You're gone. - "Give me another chance.
Your eyes sparkle like the stars. You have the most wonderful laugh, and your beauty takes my breath away." - Still not gonna give you another chance, even though that was kinda nice. - "You know, I actually thought
you took my breath away, but..." drum roll, please. - "But what?" - "But I just realized that I was simply suffocating from your bullshit." - Awesome. That is great. If you cheated on somebody,
assume that they're never ever ever gonna try or talk to you again. - That's good that they owned up to like, "Yeah, I did cheat on you." But that is the worst way to end
any relationship with anyone. Like, for me, that is like flat-- "I'm never giving you a second chance." - How are you gonna apologize
for cheating through text? If you're gonna apologize for cheating, I want you begging
on your knees at my door. I want to see the sweat
and the tears on your face. - "Hey, my friend changed
all my contact names. Can you tell me who you are?" Not gonna go very well. - "What does it say?" Female dog. - Ohh. - "Oh wow. And by the way,
it's Caroline, your ex." - "Oh, I guess he didn't change this one." (laughs heartily) - I think he was just saying that purpose. Whose friend changes contact names
in someone else's phone? Like, no one does that. He was just saying that
just to get a low blow at her. That one was mean. That's what I expect when people break up. - This dude has big balls
if he's going up to the girl just to go attack her, you know? Kind of an asshole,
but you got balls, dude. I would never do that,
even if the ex did me dirty. - I love this one. This is
my favorite one by far. - "I miss--" (heavy sigh)
It's your funeral. - "I miss you." Oh. Well, mm. Okay, April 1st, first of all, right?
I mean, I'm just saying. - "I miss you too." Oh, gross. - "I've been thinking
about you a lot lately." - "Haha, April Fools, [bleep] you." - "Haha, April Fools,
[bleep] you." I knew it. - Oh, I didn't see the date. Oh, dang. He or she gave that other
person false hope. Dang. I feel bad for that person, low-key. - If I was gonna do that as a joke and I saw they said something nice back, I don't know if I would
continue with the joke. 'Cause that's kinda harsh. You got their hopes up
just to turn them down, and you went after them.
It's kind of a dick move. - When it's April 1st,
I don't expect things to happen. I just expect everyone
to live their normal lives. So this is extra too. - "Ex-girlfriend." "Hey, can I come pick up my stuff later?" - Oh. They burned their stuff. - Oh. Oh, that's not cool. - "What the [bleep]?" (chuckles) Oh my god, ex-girlfriends are crazy. - I don't know, that kinda
looks like a fake picture. It could be from the internet. - I'd be so mad if I had
a whole bunch of my stuff over at his house, and he just burned it. I'm like, "You're paying me back." - What if that was my favorite shirt
and I lent it to you? Sending a mean text, you can get over. But destroying your property, that starts way more
than it needs to, you know? That's over the top. - If you're a dude that
just broke up with a girl and she has like 10 of your hoodies, say bye to your hoodies, bro. Like, you're never seeing
those hoodies again. - "Do not text." "Why are you watching
so many cooking shows?" - Don't judge people
for watching cooking shows. Ramsay, Hell's Kitchen is amazing. - "Question mark,
question mark, question mark." - "I'm just concerned. 12 episodes of Worst Cooks of America
over the weekend is a lot. Are you okay?" - "Get the eff off my Netflix." (laughs) - "Get the [bleep] off
my Net--" (cracking up) - I don't care what the relationship was. If we're done, you don't
go on the Netflix. - Every couple has each other's
Netflix accounts, so what do you do when you break up?
Do you change your password? - It's awkward if you're dating
and sharing Netflix, and then you break up. You're not gonna be like,
"Oh, I changed my Netflix password." But it's also like, "Do I want
them using my Netflix if I'm paying for it?" - That's a crazy ex right there. How are you still on their Netflix, counting how many episodes they watch? Why? You're so stalker-y. - "I miss you. I was wrong." Oh. - All these start off the same. Like, "I miss you. Let's hang out." - "This is an auto-response. The guy you're trying to reach
spent three months after your breakup praying
to receive this text, followed by three more months accepting that it would never come." - "The six months after that were spent dating other girls
to get over you, and it worked. Your text is a year too late,
and he blocked you." (chuckles) - Perfection. - It hurts when you see that, 'cause you probably wanted to talk. And then when you just get that and they just never respond after that, it's kinda like hurtful. - All these people, I feel like they're just avoiding their problems. "I'm gonna be witty. I'm gonna be one step above this person." So it's like they came up
with this really cool response. And it's like, "Wow, I showed her." That's so unnecessary. - "I accidentally sent you a dick pic!" Another way to not start a conversation. - No one wants to see your pickle. - "Don't open it!" - "Saw it. Still not impressive." - "Still not impressive." (laughs) - And the emoji. He just sends
an emoji like he's sad. - No, that's just-- no.
That's a big no-no. I don't think he should've done it. - What if that's why they broke up,
because he had a small peen? - Aw. I feel bad for the guy.
I don't know why. Just, like, I feel like
that's the worst thing you can say to a guy. - That's not an accidental dick pic. he was trying to get her
to get in her little feels so she could be like,
"Oh, okay, I want you back." You know? But guy's just not packing it. - These were very funny. - It kinda gave me faith in humanity. I thought it was gonna be a lot worse.
It wasn't that bad. - Don't text your ex. Why? Unless, like, you guys ended on bad terms and you want to make it good or you guys both know
you have feelings for each other. Then that's fine, but don't
just text him out of spite. - I'm not angry,
but I feel myself clenching. 'Cause it's like all these
people are so stupid. They just need to address their problems and just talk it through. Or if they don't want to,
then just don't text the person back or delete their numbers or whatever. Like, they don't need to cause more drama. - Dude, I want to be friends
with all those savages. 'Cause those people are hella
funny and hella smart. I would've never thought of any of those. - Thanks for watching
this episode of React. - Subscribe and hit
the notification button to be the first to watch
all of our episodes. - Bye, guys. - Hey, everybody. Derek here,
one of the React channel producers. And those were some brutal text messages. Uh, they get worse. Don't ask me
how I know they get worse. But they get worse. ♪ (upbeat theme music) ♪
