- Oh my God.
I love these. I want to be able
to do this. - Yeah, that's a good one. - That guy's sleeping on
the couch tonight. - ♪ (upbeat intro) ♪ - (FBE) Today, we're gonna
have you read some savage texts. - Ooh, okay.
All right. Well, I'm excited to see
what people are sending these days. - All of these texts are just
gonna be like yep, yep. Good job. - I don't think I've ever
done any of what you would characterize as savage. - Savage text messages
are my middle name. It's Jair "Savage Text
Messages" Lucus. - I usually send some
pretty sassy ones, especially when I'm flirting,
'cause I'm like, I don't wanna be too nice,
so I'm gonna put you in your place right away. - On the internet, savage
is not savage anymore, it's just basic,
so I don't know. We're gonna find out. - "I just ate a fish taco.
It reminded me of you." "Oh, what a coincidence.
I just ordered a pizza and it came in 20 seconds.
Thought of you." - Why would you send somebody that?
"Just ate a fish--" Oh my God.
When the realization hits you. This was savage on both ends.
Love it. - Oh my God.
I love these. I want to be able to do this. - It's kinda sweet and then
it's like, "I still thought of you, but I'm gonna burn you
really quick." - It's a boyfriend and a girlfriend
or just two people that hooked up probably,
so I can see the relationship there in that text.
He's sitting there like, poof, destroyed. - If I was the fish taco dude,
I would have just been like, "Okay, still smashed.
Okay." So it's not that savage. - "Bitch."
"Ha, I've been called worse." "Like?"
"Your girlfriend." Savage.
These are amazing. I need to be able
to do this stuff. I wanna meet these people
and I need them to teach me how to write stuff like this. - This is like text messages
I send. Not this bad, but I'm
definitely savage. - That's read and then
didn't respond. You can't really come back
from that one to be honest. I feel bad for him. - These aren't bad.
I don't know why these are savage. People have been called
worse things. - If he's just gonna be like,
"Bitch," he deserves to be like, "Well, being your girlfriend
is worse." - That's why when you're in
a relationship, you make sure that you
do stuff so that no one can ever tell you that.
- (announcer) Truth. - "Can I throw a party
this weekend?" "Don't you need friends
to throw a party?" This is something that my dad
would send to me and this is a very nice way
of saying no, so I appreciate this kind
of text message. - These people are real good. - Hey, I've had parties by myself.
You just turn the music up, get a pizza.
Eight slices is enough for one person. - If your dad has to tell you
that you don't have any friends and your dad knows that you
don't have any friends, then that's pretty savage. - My mom says crap like this
all the time to me, 'cause I'll just be like,
"Oh, I think I'm gonna hang out with a friend tonight
or something." And she'll be like,
"You don't have any friends." And I'm like, "You right." - This is something my dad
would say. I feel like it's just kind of
a stereotypical thing. They have the worst jokes
and they're [bleep] savage. That's just dads in general. - "Are you ready?"
"Doing makeup, wait." "You don't need makeup, honey."
"Aw, really?" "You need plastic surgery."
That guy's sleeping on the couch tonight. - Jeez louise.
I mean, I can relate to the "I'm doing my makeup.
You're gonna have to wait another two hours."
So, he could be really fed up with that. - I don't see why you'd be
in a relationship with this person. This person's definitely
a little savage, but again, I guess a good
roast and compliment ratio is what you need to have
a successful relationship, so hopefully after these
messages went through, everything was fine. - I could see this being
best friends, two girl best friends.
Could be guys, if guys choose to wear makeup. - If you say something
like this to someone in real life, you can gauge the tone
of it a little bit, but now it just seems mean
if it's on text, 'cause you can't--
there's no sarcasm button necessarily. - He started off so good.
"You don't need makeup, honey." "Aw, really?"
"You need plastic surgery." Depending on her self esteem,
she could have taken that one or two ways
and we'll know if his credit card has been used. - "Do you want to be
the sun in my life?" "Yes, xxx."
"Good, then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me.
Smiley face." Where did you come up
with that number? - I'm gonna have to look
that up and check the facts, but I'd like to think that
if they took that number out of there, it would have
been pretty accurate. - That person probably had to go
look up how far the Sun was away from the Earth.
The worst part about this is it says "read"
and it says "read yesterday," so they waited a while
for them not to text back and then they posted this
somewhere. - They thought of that.
They sat there and they were like, "You know what I'm gonna say?
I wanna be mean to this person." - You know why he said that?
Because she used three X's to represent kisses
when you have a kiss emoji. - That's how you know how old
this meme is, 'cause nobody I know texts
with three X's still. It's cringey, that's why
it's not savage. - "Ava, your sister and I
are going to McDonald's." "Can you get me a bacon
cheeseburger with pickles and a coke, please?"
"No." - "Then why did you told me
you're going?" "To disappoint you as much
as you disappoint me. Smiley face."
Oh my God. These are just--
they make my stomach just ache for these people. - Oh, he's telling the kid that--
yeah, that's a good one. And then he put the smiley face
after like, "Just so you know." - That was pretty good to be like,
"Well, you disappoint me, so you're not getting food."
That's mean, but obviously it's a joke. - The smiley face makes it
all worth it, so it's okay. She knows it's a joke. - It's not like too incredibly
mean, but it's also not nice, which makes it savage.
The perfect level of savage. This was great. - "You're my drug."
"Aw, because you can't live without me?"
"No, 'cause you cost too much and you ruin my life."
Ha ha, you're a burden on me. I'm so savage. - Having a significant other
and drugs kinda go hand in hand. Kind of the same thing.
It can ruin your life. It can ruin your wallet. - I'ma be using this.
Know what I'm texting my fake boyfriend today. - It's 50/50.
It's two people that are starting to get together,
so you know the kind of humor or it's two people that have
been together for super long and he knows that she'll
think it's funny or he'll think it's funny. - These are actually really smart.
I wanna meet the people who make these,
'cause this is really intelligent humor, though, honestly.
I gotta up my text insults. - It's a great message.
It's a great-- it has a good one, two punch.
It works, flows perfectly. Good stuff. - "Hey, where are you?
I miss you. Wanna come watch a movie
at my house" "Unfortunately, this user
does not accept messages after dark. Please try calling during
daylight hours. Thank you." - It's not as savage,
but I would have been like, "You're lame." - 11:21 PM?
That's 100% a booty call. The person receiving the
"I miss you" text has been done wrong
by this other person and so this is kinda
their way of getting back at them and I appreciate the clever joke. - This person just curved
the booty call, which is great.
Being in a position to be able to just be like, "Nah, nah.
Go away." is the greatest thing in the world,
so shoutout to this person for being a savage the right way. - There's always guys who are
like, "Let's hang out." and I'm like, "It's midnight.
You have obvious intentions. Be a little slicker than that." - They hit you up at night
and they're like, "Hey. Wanna come over or something?"
It's always at night and then during the daytime,
they pretend you don't exist. Don't talk to them
in the nighttime. They're just trying to get stuff. - "Send me that ugly picture of me
that you have on your phone." "Which one, there are so many."
Relatable. Not even gonna be mad
at this one. - Parents have so many
bad pictures of their kids on their phone that this is
accurate to most kids this age. - This is the person's dad?
That's your creation. That is kind of insulting
yourself. - Oh my God.
I love it. Dads are just killing it
with these text messages. They just like to be
really mean. You could just be like,
"Well, I'm half of you, so..." - Dads are such great people
because they come up with stuff on the fly.
They have dad jokes that make no sense,
but are funny and then they also have
this little moment of savage where they take it out on you
and it's in a "love you" way, so it's not in a "Dang,
I'm gonna ruin your life" way, so it's good. - I would just be like,
"Oh, there are so many of you, too.
You want one?" And then I'd send him
a picture of a monkey or something. I'm practicing my savagery
during this episode and then the minute I get home,
my parents will be like, "What happened to you?
Why are you like this?" - Amanda.
"What do you want for your birthday?
You name it." "A date with you?"
"Lol, no, for real." "No, really.
I'm completely in love with you." "Hahaha, you're hilarious."
This curve game is so strong. - Someone was like,
"Oh, I care about you. What do you want
for your birthday?" And she's like,
"A date with you." He's like, "Oh, I don't
care about you like that." - I just feel like I'd feel bad
if I was the person. Why would--
couldn't you just say no? Isn't that enough? - There was one attempt
and then it was like a shot to the chest
and then I was like, all right, it's chill,
but then she went for that second attempt
and they closed the coffin and just didn't open it.
I feel so bad. - Maybe you shouldn't be
telling someone that you're in love with through text,
so if you're gonna tell someone through text, you deserve
to get roasted and this person got roasted.
You got what you asked for. - If they tell you they're
being serious, you should probably trust them.
Don't laugh. Laughing is not the right
thing to do. I learned the hard way.
Don't laugh. - (FBE) So, what did you think
of these text messages? - They were clever.
I'm definitely gonna take a couple of those dad jokes.
Use them on my family. - I love relationships,
especially with family and couples where you can roast someone
and still love them at the end of the day. - I think the dads really
killed this episode. - This episode goes to show
that dads will always have the best savage lines,
so shoutout to the dads out there. - Thanks for watching me
read savage texts on the React Channel. - Don't miss out.
Be sure to Subscribe. - If you're savage,
then hit that Like button. - Did you think these were savage?
Let us know in the comments. - Bye, guys. - Alyssa here, producer
from the React Channel. So, if you don't like this episode,
well that's just savage, so like this episode.
Okay, bye.
