- When you can't remember things,
I think maybe you've gone a little too far. - That is getting drunk
summed up in a post. ♪ (upbeat intro) ♪ - (FBE) So, a fun thing
on the internet that we're gonna show you is some
drunk texts. - Oh no.
Okay, see. This is exactly where
they're both gonna be funny or they're gonna be kind of
embarrassing. I'm down for either,
but it feels very 50/50. - I love reading drunk texts
because they're just relatable. If you are a little tipsy,
you might end up texting people things that maybe
you would regret the next morning. - I don't drink,
so I don't drunk text, but I've gotten drunk
phone calls. - I've seen many of these
from my friends and I'm usually the one that
tries to avoid people sending drunk texts,
but they're also pretty funny. - It's so funny because
first of all, half the time, I have to decode the message,
whatever it is. - I've been a receiver of many.
I don't send them out, 'cause that's not a lifestyle
I live, but sometimes you just get them
and you feel bad and awkward for the other
person and you're just like, "Get it together, homie." - "Help.
M Drink." "What do you want me
to help with? More drinks?"
"Same me. I'm too funk.
I'm so srunk!" - "Nope, you can still type.
Not drunk enough." "Help me, please."
"Please don't die." Okay, that's really scary
and also really concerning. - This guy in the blue,
this is literally me. "Please don't die."
This is all I say, is "Have fun, stay safe." - This person was a little there.
I've definitely seen worse, 'cause I could definitely
decode whatever they're trying to say
in a few seconds. - Wait, did they just say
"not drunk enough?" They're still not drunk enough
that they can type. "Please don't die."
Well at least they care. They don't want him
to die. - I've seen a lot
of helpless drunk people where they just get
to that point of "I can't do anything
for myself and I want you to hold my hand here."
and I feel like that's exactly what this text is. - "I wasn't that wasted."
"Are you kidding me? You opened up a bunch
of tampons and said they looked like little ghosts
and you tried to haunt me for a while."
"They do kind of look like little ghosts."
They say that drunk words are sober thoughts
and he's just displaying that in text version. - What you think of when
you're drunk is what you are really thinking of.
That's what your brain goes to. I've seen it a lot
in family and friends and things where I'm like, whenever
you hear a drunk person talk, there's always some truth
in that, so I mean yes, tampons are ghosts. - Now that I think about it,
they do. The ones in the commercials
when they-- have you seen those commercials
where the tampons spread apart? - It's understandable.
I get it, I get it. You gotta be pretty drunk
to open a bunch of tampons. - That means they had
a fun night. They were just at home
opening tampons with a glass of wine.
Sounds completely normal. - He was pretty wasted
if he thought they were mini ghosts.
People get weird when they drink. Really weird. - "Weee pootis."
"Yes?" "I want a Twinkie right now." - "Hostess is out of business."
"I am the lion king son." What?
"Buy me a Twinkie." "Dad."
"You are my little fluff." Oh my God.
I just read "dad" on the top. That's crazy.
Your dad drunk texting you. That's not okay. - This is adorable
and then also just so funny 'cause I like first of all
how demanding and aggressive it is, but also just the reminder of
"You're my little fluff." - I'm on the borderline between
if this is funny or does my dude need help,
'cause it's 6 PM. There might be some deeper
issues we're dealing with. - Being around a parent
when they're a little tipsy is the funnest thing ever
because they just start acting probably your age,
'cause you think your parents are supposed to be these
people that you look up to and they don't get drunk
and [bleep] and then you do see them drunk and it's funny. - I can't imagine getting
a drunk text from my dad. He really wants a Twinkie
and it's nice that he trusts his child with achieving
the goal of getting a Twinkie. - "Hey babe."
"Yeah?" "I gotta tell you something."
"It's 3:38 AM." "Take it seriously."
"What?" "I am the Batman."
"You're drunk, aren't you?" "Yeah." - To be honest, the first thing
I pick up right away it's like, if you're getting a text
at 3:38 AM, the first thing I would say is, is everything good?
Instead, he's like, "Yeah. Question mark.
What do you want?" - I'd probably say some
dumb [bleep] like this, 'cause in the moment,
you're like, this person is definitely not awake,
but I'm gonna text them everything and then you wake up
in the morning, you're like, oh wow, I shouldn't
have done that. - This person can spell a lot
better than the last ones, but they do think they're
Batman, so there is still something wrong there. - If you're drunk enough
to feel like Batman, you've reached a good level.
I wanna feel like Batman if I ever got drunk,
so go you. - You're drunk and you're
texting your bae at 3:38 waking them up when they
have to work at 6, 7 AM. Isn't that cute?
Every relationship goal. - "Was I that drunk?"
"You dug up my mom's garden because, and I quote,
'[bleep] FarmVille.'" - Oh my God.
Isn't FarmVille a Facebook thing? - FarmVille?
No one hangs out on Facebook like that
any more, fam, okay? - I hopped on there
for a little bit. A couple weeks I was out there
plowing and gardening and getting my crops up
for the season, but we got hit with
a hard winter once and that's when I had
to call it quits. - Poor garden.
How do you explain that to mom after that?
Hopefully, they're old enough so they can tell their mom
that they were drunk, but I'd feel the need
to have to regarden her whole garden after. - Especially too, with a lot
of drunk people, there's that tendency
to get destructive, but at least it's kind of funny.
Yes, they tore up the mom's garden, but there was a nice
punchline to it, so I feel like it was worth it. - "Julia, I'm drunk.
I love you." "I love you too,
but I am sober." "Julia, you are amazing.
You know my loyalty, you know my love.
What else is there?" - "I throw my hands up
in the air sometimes." Oh wait, isn't that a song?
♪ I throw my hands up ♪ ♪ in the air sometimes ♪ - It's emotional for some people.
I know a lot of people who get really teary eyed
when they're drunk. I'm like, it's okay.
You're fine. - 10:50, okay, I give it to you.
It's reasonable and her stuff is very kind.
She's a very kind person telling her friend she loves her
and everything. - This is beautiful.
"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes."
They're just having a good time. - These are my favorite kind
of drunk texts that I get from people are the loving ones.
It's nice that they remind you that they love you,
'cause you don't hear it that often even if they're a little
under the influence. It's still nice to hear. - "Hey, can you pcik me up?
I'm too drnuk. You don't have to anymore.
I'm home now." - "Yes, I was aware of that
after dropping you off at home." Oh my God, that's amazing. - Oh my God.
I've got one of those before, too. "Okay, I'm home now."
I'm like, "Yeah, bro. I literally drove you." - At least they got home safely.
That's the most important thing when you hear that your friends
are drinking is, are you getting home safe
and do you need a ride? That's immediately what
I go to. - Ah dude, you ever get so
[bleep] faced that you text the person to pick you up
to not pick you up any more but the person that you asked
to pick you up picked you up and they dropped you off
at home? Yeah, I wanna get to that level
some day. - When you can't remember
things, I think maybe you've gone a little too far,
especially if that just happened. I've been in that situation
where I have to bring some people home,
so at least they're home. That's what matters. - "Are you home?
No, at Brewskies." - "How drunk are you
because you just answered yourself."
Oh my God. That's a very drunk person. - You have to be really drunk
to answer your own text message. I'd probably die if I got
one of those messages from someone else. - I wanna get to that level
where I start seeing my own text and think,
"Hey, somebody texted me." And I reply. - The funny thing is,
I've done this sober before, so I definitely feel like
this isn't just a drunken mistake. - My friends have done this
a lot of times, so I believe this.
I've had friends who were texting me, "Help.
I need help going home." And I'm like, "Dude,
I'm right next to you." - "I lobe you so much sweetie.
Tina says hi. We're at the Olvie Garden.
2-4-1 chardonnay." "Mom, drink some water,
mom." "I'm so happy I decided
to keep you." She's so upset.
She said, "Me too." - Oh, [bleep].
Bro, that's some dark stuff right there. - Who just says that
to their kid? Ah God, I'm so triggered. - I wonder if their kid
just brought up even more questions afterwards like, "So do you
remember what you said last night at Olive Garden?" - It's honestly all you can say
to your mom. Thanks mom.
Thanks. - This is a valley mom
texting you after a wild night of karaoke and this is--
all these texts are just a yikes.
Drink some water, man. Drink some tea. - "I love alcohol.
I regret everything." - Usually, nights can end up
like that. - That is getting drunk
summed up in a post. - I feel like that's a lot
of people's relationships with alcohol is just
loving the feeling but oh my God,
I have a hangover the next day. - I've heard of people
getting drunk regrets, but it's okay.
It's a fun night, I'm sure. - I see this on Twitter
or Facebook after every Saturday. "I'm never drinking again."
Guys, the lesson of this whole episode is don't be stupid
and be responsible. FBE promotes good habits
over here. - (FBE) What'd you think
about these overall? - They weren't as cringey
as I thought they were gonna be. It kinda just makes me want
to hang around more drunk people because I think they're
so funny. - I like them.
They're relatable. - What's important is
they're safe, so as long as you know
they're safe, let them have a good time. - Thanks for watching
this episode on the React Channel. - We have new shows every day,
so subscribe. - Hit that like button
if you like this episode. - What did you think
of these text messages? Let us know in the comments. - Bye, guys. - Hey guys, I'm Katie,
a React Channel producer. Thank you so much
for watching this episode. Be sure to subscribe
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