Teachers: "Yes, There ARE Stupid Questions" (r/AskReddit School Stories)

teachers of Reddit they say there are no stupid questions but what's the most stupid question a student has ever asked you not a teacher but in my senior year of high school I was in a personal finance class the teacher explained that not paying your taxes could get you incarcerated student so if you don't pay your taxes the government will light you on fire teacher no incarcerated means to imprison you're thinking of incinerated student oh wait then what taxidermy taxidermy is a bonus skin treatment you get from the IRS if you do your taxes just right not a teacher but what happens if a girl pees during intercourse does it push the guy out like a geezer from a 17 year old girl who was doing well in biology we had a solid argument for 15 minutes on how many holes a girl has not a question but more of a statement that prompted a whole discussion when I was student teaching to set the stage I would like to point out that I am white and my leading teacher was african-american and the classroom was about 60% african-american 30% Latino and the remaining 10% a mixture of Asian and white and this was also my advanced class and we were discussing the apartheid in Africa me so the black Africans and white Africans student raised his hand miss ducky you can't say that me say what student black its African American me trying my hardest to not die a little inside no that is actually not the correct phrase can anyone tell me why African American is not the correct term for this situation silence me okay guys look at it this way I'll be talking about Americans number we are not we are talking about a racial issue in Africa with no relation to America at all the definition of African American is a person of African descent living in America so if the people we are talking about are not American they cannot be African American convey so to talk about the racial issue the labels used are black Africans and white Africans as outlined by our Tech's book a student number you can't say that they are african-american at this point my lead teacher is facepalming she is in total disbelief and as much as she loved to watch me struggle she stepped in and tried to explain it as well 20 minutes go by over two of us trying our best the bell rings the kids still couldn't figure it out I think we both nearly cried health class is breast milk 1% or 2% we were looking at the Japanese flag and a kid asked is that why they wear that dot on their forehead wasn't a teacher a lifeguard on a beach man with a very thick Chicago except asked me where the switch was to turn off the waves so he could let his daughter go out and play in the water so I told him it was at my boss stand I would have pointed at the moon Howland was the average 18 year old in 1942 he then managed to forget he was wearing his own glasses and asked everybody where they were 20 give or take a couple years not a teacher but a classmate of mine asked if Asia was a town in China and assuming that she was right said that it was crazy that so many people from our school came from one town she was so wrong everyone knows Asia is an 80s rock band grade five health class I hate a rule that any question can be asked but I might ask you to ask your parents instead of me I heard a story about a man who put his stuff into muffins and fed it to grade one kids well that is pretty disgusting and I would think that person would go to jail for doing that wouldn't the girls get pregnant from eating it and before I could say oh nothing another student blurted out no they wouldn't get pregnant they haven't gone through puberty yet I am thankful for days when kids remind me that they are still kids my wife is the teacher but this is my favorite story of hers they were discussing how Native Americans relied on hunting Buffalo and used all parts of it for food clothing shelter etc in reference to how they use the Buffalo for shelter one student asked so do they stack the Buffalo on top of each other Buffalo go taught English literature in a juvenile justice long-term treatment facility I have many great stories me this is a map of the United States here is the Midwest it's where your math teacher is from student oh snap we're in a war with em me are you thinking about the Middle East student oh yeah is that a different place me playing a trivia game with students Johannes Gutenberg invented what student shoots his hand up in the air quickly before I even finish the question and very sure of his answer cheese student reading the Three Little Pigs are loud and the big bad wolf huffed and he puffed and he passed it around me I've never heard of that version of the story before mr. student student you wouldn't mister ellipses it's the hood version had a student ask me what are those pyramid shaped things in Egypt called never seen a class laugh that hard before warm spring day no-account fan blowing in the front of the room and goes up can you make the fan of you plate number no I can't I'm a corporate trainer so hopefully this counts I used to train content for an exam that everyone in our field must take to get licensed if you didn't pass you had to go back through the course well I had a dude go through my class four times four here's a conversation we had before his third exam guy what attempts am I on me wait what guy well I've taken the test twice but everyone else in here hasn't taken it so am i taking my test for the first time or the third time me what do you think guy I don't know that's why I am asking you dude thought that he might be on his first attempt because he was back in a class with a bunch of people who were on theirs I was a maths teacher one day a student that propell of nothing right at the start of the class looked me dead in the eyes and asked me how did Jesus mail his other hand to the cross he then began miming the impossible task musing over whether he had a hammer on a rope in his mouth and swung his head side to side to insert the final nail he didn't I replied Oh said the student with a long pause that makes sense that is the story of my one stupid question how old do you have to be to smoke crack a fellow student at Waukegan circa 1988 I used to volunteer teaching at an after-school program for 14 year olds we were doing a project that involved balloons one boy had blown his balloon but couldn't get it tied I tied it and gave it back to him he immediately tossed it up as it sank to the floor his face fell obviously disappointed he asked or so they are not helium if the patient have a brain hemorrhage can we do a Tony Kaye on the neck to stop it well I mean technically yes as part of teaching u.s. government I ran a zombie apocalypse scenario where the students had to respond to an ongoing crisis in real-time using the actual powers of the government as different parts of the government it was my favorite activity all semester and I went all in including with a large map of the US that will be updated for every day that passed as part of this activity I prepared a handout of a fake news story about the zombie apocalypse beginning in our home town it had pictures of zombies shambling around and was written all newspaper style one day after handing these out an 18 year old student raised their hand and said mr. Krause age did this really happen my mom is a teacher's assistant in a fifth grade class a few weeks ago a girl asked are bears still real and some things that should not have been forgotten well lost history became legend legend became myth and for two and a half thousand years the bear passed out of all knowledge how do Islands not float away really big Incas he wrote it down I had an assignment for biology where you'd flip the coin to see what Trey's your baby dragon would have to teach Mendelian genetics one of my students raised her hand and asked wait so dragons are real I've shared this before it says a high school biology teacher a 16 year old student once asked me wait aren't rhinos made of mud at least he knows his Pokemon types after informing my West African class about the Boston bombing is little Wayne okay after a lengthy explanation of the effects of volcanic eruptions on human communities I had a grade 6 student asked me why on earth people even make volcanic eruptions tourism it's the best move the Hawaiians and Icelanders have ever made I am not a teacher but in eighth grade I had a classmate argue that Martin Luther King freed the slaves when I tried to correct her she flipped out and started screaming name-calling etc he didn't free the slaves he wrote the Bible my wife went to school to be a HS history teacher and when she had her semester of student teaching one of the students asked if China had grass wall another who insisted that windmills made wind from a friend who is a grade school teacher when will my vac start growing hair plot twist the student was a male this came up all the time when teaching kids how to do their taxes I must have had this conversation a dozen times student so I don't know what to do at this part me what does the instruction say on that line student at box 23 and 24 and write the answer here me so add box 23 and 24 I to this day have no idea how you teach someone to follow very explicit instructions also not a teacher but when I was in high school in health class while going over reproduction there was a fellow student who raised her hand and asked if you were sterile could you pass it on to your children the whole class giggled and she confused said she was serious she wanted to know if you're sterile could you pass it on to your kids the teacher with a smile said to her okay let's think about this does it mean to be sterile she began answering it means that you can't have k o h HH HH followed by another round of laughter from the rest of the class to her credit they are finding that people conceived using ivf are having difficulty having children of their own as adults so not completely a dumb question depending if you mean completely sterile or unable to reproduce unassisted at university i had a classmate that would often show up 20 minutes late to class the first thing he did after sitting down was raised his hand to ask questions about what the professor had just said question after question until he had caught up with the rest of the class absolutely infuriating that's a bad professor who allowed that in seventh grade science class during health class they were talking about oral Mormon girl in class wait you can get an STD just from talking about intercourse I wouldn't call the question stupid just no exposure at all to the topic beforehand I once projected a picture of the earth onto the front whiteboard a student asked how do astronauts stand on a planet like that the same way we all are standing on the moon right now not a teacher but there's one I'll never forget right Einstein s dead this was a GCSE class 15 stroke 16 year olds ninth grade Ella a few chapters into odd mice and men what kind of work does George do on the farm I'm not sure probably the same work that everyone else is doing oh it must be hard for him to help out since he's a mouse not really a teacher but I'm a federal budget analyst and had to train a new employee who had apparently been working in budgets for 20 years or so so should have been able to quickly pick things up she wasn't when I finally got her on the right track with our year-end financial reports I told her she was close but her numbers were off so double-check them she responded with well wouldn't someone else just fix that oh no that's exactly what you get paid to do so you need to put the correct numbers in the report so we can publish it what on earth would we do with almost correct financial reports the next day she just couldn't figure it out and I said you're really close it's probably just rounding she said does it matter how do you know when you should round it up and down I said yes it matters just use normal rounding rules she asked what those are I very slowly said you know 0.5 or higher your round up she had never been familiarized with that apparently in the end I really felt like I would have been better off teaching a 3rd grader a girl in my honors science class asked the teacher and was 100% serious if Raman grew on ramen trees yes upon macaroni Hill while I was student teaching I had a student ask where Texas was on the map I was projecting on the screen the map was off China at the college midterm I had a guy comes up to me that I've never seen in class he proceeded to ask me what his grade is check the sheet he never turned in a single piece of homework no quizzes never attended a test what did you think you'd have you've got a solid F when I was in high school the same student asked where is the Great Wall of China and the Sun and Moon the same thing that guy with the Hitler mustache did he win yes Charlie Chaplin won us all sorry I'm not a teacher but this was a question my teacher asked a student in my philosophy class community college teacher if it looks like a duck quacks like a duck then it must be points at random student for an answer random student man I have no idea [ __ ] this freakin kid I'm sure everyone has one in their grade the type that is told his answer is wrong but somehow won't accept it and defends his factually wrong answer with the weirdest Bulls logic it was the year that the game fable came out in the slogan was for every decision a million outcomes this kid was in my 9th grade English class and we were learning about actual fables but this kid asks the teacher doesn't the word fable mean for a single decision there's a million outcomes cue everyone in the class slowly turning their heads look at him the teacher said no a fable is a short story or tale used to establish your show ethics and morals something along those lines aka the actual meaning of the word fable the kid goes oh well I think you're wrong cause there's this game that came out and in the commercials it says for every decision there's a million outcomes and the teacher and this kid literally argued about the meaning of the word fable for like half an hour in class and everyone's telling the kid he's wrong and he refuses to accept him because the commercial said otherwise he didn't actually use a word otherwise I am sure that it's out of his vocabulary range but he refused to relent freaking Ron shut the Frick up history teacher said Magna Carta and this one girl opens her mouth and says excuse me it's manga I hope she thinks back on that and cringes our little do Chinese people think in English wait what had a pupil asked me of the Sun they saw in America was the same as the Sun we saw here in Scotland and why was their Sun so much warmer living in Scotland this one isn't hard to believe I teach martial arts to little kids I had a kid asked me if he could punch his mom now this is from before I was a teacher I gave private lessons a student who's generally smart good lacks a lot of general knowledge especially history in politics Hitler comes up in an explanation Hitler yep you know who Hitler is right isn't that the guy the Jews worship bonus points we're German this is the goodest flyboy he will bring you ten years of happiness in exchange for a like on this video if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 27,975

Rating: 4.9058824 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, teachers share, teacher, student, students react, school stories, high school, detention, middle school, parents

Id: WAGjNWKeVFs

Length: 17min 4sec (1024 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 23 2019