When you think of something FUNNY at a FUNERAL...- (r/AskReddit)

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet Reddit what was the most inappropriate time you couldn't control your laughter my family tried moving my elderly grandparents into a nursing home it was basically an experiments to see if they liked it and could deal with living in a new place well my grandfather who has lived in the same house since birth was very angry about this move the minute they arrived at the nursing home he started acting out dropping his pants in the hallway sticking his tongue out at everyone and being generally disagreeable myself and two other family members decided to join them for the first dinner at the new place walking over from their room to the dining room went smoothly but once we got to the doors of the dining room my grandfather stopped clicked his heels together stood at attention and then promptly stuck up his arm and yelled Heil Hitler then he goose stepped his way to his table it was horrible but I could not stop laughing to this day it makes me laugh just thinking about it I would like your grandparents ha ha thanks my grandfather has dementia which has caused him to turn into a world-class troll I was in a seminar where a distinguished physiologist was talking about his research he started talking about measuring enzyme activities specifically the enzyme cytochrome C oxidase which is shortened to Cox he was summarizing a slide and said and that was for those of you who are into clocks I burst out laughing I was the only one people stared I still couldn't stop laughing I went so red from trying to hold it in so awkward everybody else was laughing on the inside they just pretended to act all mature and fancy elitist bastards I'm in nursing school in my last class we had to watch a video about people who had their children pass away or have stillbirths it was quite a sad video someone in the video was talking about their child's funeral and mentioned that saying anything is better than say nothing at all to the parents who had lost their children she mentioned that someone told her congratulations on accident I don't know why but I lost it burst out laughing and couldn't stop for a good five minutes all eyes were on me I felt horrible but if you were watching it you'd probably laugh too my mom told me a story about watching a video in nursing school about postpartum depression she said at one point in her movie there was a clip of a super hilly Billy woman wailing I don't like my baby and I don't know why my mom said he lost her [ __ ] laughing and then the rest of the class started cracking up to the instructor we started the video and told them they had to rewatch it until they could get through that part without laughing and there they sat for the rest of eternity a few years ago I went with my best friend to her grandpa's funeral he was a veteran so there were a lot of other veterans there as well everyone was sitting inside the church the priest was doing the funeral Mass I was sitting next to my best friend she was crying on the other side of her was one of the veterans he started coughing and accidentally let out a fart the fart seemed to shock him and he exclaimed poof I couldn't help but laugh as silently as possible which wasn't really that silent I felt so bad but still couldn't stop I looked over to my friend to see if she was pissed at me but realized that she was laughing too that made me feel better I was at a religious assembly in the speaker encouraged all of us 300 plus kids to start rubbing sandpaper on our little shards of wood in order to make everything new as Jesus did as everyone started rubbing my friend whispered to me that it sounds like a bunch of people furiously masturbating I cracked up silently but when the speaker said this is a sound many of you have heard before I lost it rubbing sandpaper on our little shards of wood sounds like a bunch of people violently masturbating too me too there was a boy in band class who tried to get out of doing something I can't remember what it was by saying his sister just got diagnosed with cancer I just started busting up I knew he was lying because he didn't have a sister but everyone believed him and I got the nastiest looks from all 60 people in the room which made me laugh even more edit just so you know he was kind of forced to tell the truth in the end but even after everyone berated him for lying about something so serious I was still the ass who laughed at it worth it I knew he was lying because he didn't have a sister but everyone believed him then why didn't you say anything farted so loud during a rally it echoed throughout the entire gym this was during the eighth grade we were doing some kind of fundraiser for this kid Matt got hit on his bike a week before the vice-principal was talking about what exactly was wrong with him when I felt one a brewing so I leaned into my buddy Eric next to me and said hey I got a secret to tell you I let it rip and comes out much louder than I expected was sitting indian-style of the gym floor the sound echoed out through the entire gym while everyone was dead silence even the VP went silent while Eric and I were laughing our asses off we get pulled out of the rally by my history teacher asking why we thought it would be funny to disrupt our VP like that through my laughter I tried to explain I didn't know it was going to be that loud but ended up that way ended up getting three days detention for that [ __ ] but it was well worth it three days detention for farting row they thought I did it on purpose I did but didn't think it would be loud enough for the whole gym to hear it didn't help that I wouldn't stop laughing when I said sorry so they didn't really believe me : in psychology class my teacher was talking about probability for some reason and kept saying the chance of getting head each time he said if I burst out and laughed it to the point where my teacher got quite pissed and had a rant about our image getting head is almost as funny as getting tail I'm no psychology buff but I can't think of a context where the chance of getting head isn't talking about a bj when the pregnant lady who's gross for his I was bagging had her water break mid credit card swipe beat sploosh giggle unemployment 2k12 no regrets what console is that on welfare several years ago I was at a funeral with my brothers a fairly distant family member that we didn't know that well had died we had been there for ages and we got really bored so we tried to tell each other the shittiest jokes possible to past time but not laugh too much my older brother came up with knock knock who's there lettuce lettuce who lettuce in for some reason maybe the completely deadpan way he said it me and my younger brother started laughing and I just couldn't stop so there I was in the middle of a crowd of people waiting for my family member to be buried just laughing hysterically . I do think there's something about funerals that makes that happen it's the knowing that you can't laugh that makes it almost certain you will I mean obviously not if it's someone you loved very much the olds pretending you're crying trick is useful though I was at a super fancy violin recital all dressed up in heels and pearls there was a dramatic pause in the music and I couldn't help thinking good god if someone dropped out right now it would there kill up to the rafters I learned that day that there's only so long you can disguise helpless laughter as coughing before old ladies in fur coats shame you out of a concert hall with just their eyes I honestly have no idea what dropping s means or refers to could you explain it's a phrase for farting that I picked up from a friend in intermediate seventh eighth grade school we had a media program where we do a morning broadcast every day we'd rotate between producers camera techs and broadcast anchors this was the day my friend and I were both anchors beforehand we were joking around about POI it's a Hawaiian dish made of mashed up taro and we calm down before we start the broadcast as soon as I stopped saying my limes he whispers to me Paul and I burst out laughing I go on for a few seconds and I try to compose myself and he tries to take over for me but then he starts laughing to remember that this is live in front of the entire school this goes on for a little over a full minute of us trying to start our lines but just laughing we didn't get into any trouble for it because our teacher love doesn't said it happens I'm late to the party but I'll still comment two years ago my best friend died of an enlarged heart it just happened nothing could have been done to prevent or treat it I was pretty devastated by the whole event and had to play a major role in his funeral giving the eulogy after the service and at the gravesite the priest came up to say the final blessings now my friend was a pretty serious atheist who married a Japanese woman his conservative white parents were never fans of the Union so they made it a very abrupt point of the service to give the Cascade cross to her and say and I quote Yuka please accept this cross as a symbol of our faith and Dericks faith hopefully one day you can accept Jesus into your heart now I knew this [ __ ] was coming so I rolled my eyes and dealt with it however after that the priest said please remain silent while they raised Eric into his grave he was places in a wall as opposed to buried at that point a forklift a ducking forklift came in doing its backup beep sound I lost it I absolutely lost it I just started busting up laughing Here I am 26 and burying the closest person and a forklift is just jerking the casket around I am laughing so hard that my mother who gets the absurdity of the situation starts laughing scowls are an abundance and people actually have told me I was so rude for it baduk hem derek was my best friend and i know if it was me in that casket and that forklift beeps and jerked he would have laughed too and for that I loved him always I was in 8th Grade Chapel a guest lady was speaking about something biblical and I wasn't really listening but suddenly she said and the Koch crows I put coke in caps because she emphasized that word and even did a little pause and sorter looked around after it being the 8th grader that I was I burst out laughing and couldn't contain my laughter in the middle of Chapel no shame a funeral for a 2 year old baby girl they had a terrible ducking folks sing a play a song she couldn't play the guitar in time with her voice and she had this funny high-pitched warbling voice I have no duck in clue who she was or who thought it would be a good idea for her to be there but I couldn't help laughing if I hadn't known any better I would have been looking for hidden TV cameras it was that bad a performance I just kind of put my face in my hands pretended I was crying I walked outside to cool down I felt terrible but even now I roll my eyes at that singer at a Funeral where there were bagpipes playing when the players started packing the bagpipes into the back of a small car while the funeral was still proceeding the squashed bagpipes made the most peculiar honking cries it was very difficult for me to maintain my composure as I have a brother who is a piper I can confirm this noises one of the most difficult to keep a straight face too edit in italics oh man I finally have a good story to submit for once it was in my AP history class in high school their day in class we were watching a movie about the Holocaust however this movie was insanely boring I mean they were talking about the most mind-numbing details I swear they spent like 10 minutes just talking about where they got the lumber from so after about an hour of staring at shots of German scenery and trying not to fall asleep I feel a tap on my shoulder I turned to see my friend sitting next to me giggling I asked him what's so funny and he turns to point at our friend who is sitting across the road our friend wasn't doing as good of a job at staying awake so he's sitting over there doing the head nod you know where you fall asleep of your head drops say you jerk awake and give yourself whiplash I still don't know why but something about that was hilarious to me so I started giggling right then I hear my teacher clear his throat and I look up to see him glaring at me because I just so happened to start laughing at the exact moment this movie decides to show all of the mass graves and disfigured bodies I realized that I had to look like the most racist person in the world right then which makes me laugh even harder I couldn't stop laughing at that point so all I could do was put my head down and try my best to stifle my laughter until the end of class my teacher never looked at me the same way again TL DR a laugh during a movie in history teacher thinks I'm a neo-nazi I would have leaned my head on the desk cover it with my hands and pretend to be crying you clever little duck er my seventh grade history teacher had the whole class stand close together with our eyes closed in one corner of the room to simulate being on a slave ship we were told to imagine how it would have felt being chained together in a dark tight space I couldn't help but imagine if one of the slaves farted and being chained together nobody could get away from it I started to quietly chuckle and my teacher yells it's not funny in a super offended tone I think I got away with it since all our eyes were closed and if anyone looked to see who it was I put on my best poker face and acted like it wasn't me who was laughing you should have let one rip right then and there to be fair your teacher kinda had it coming for actually thinking that a bunch of 7th graders were going to be enriched by that experience beyond the humiliation of being made to stand in the corner with a bunch of other pubescent kids close your eyes and pretend you're thinking about the plight of slaves instead of oh my god the girl behind me is almost touching me with her boobs oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] which way do I move my best friend at the time took me to her childhood friend's house so she could introduce us and I guess become friends the afternoon was going just fine we were goofing off and making stupid jokes all day and then his dad came home from work I asked him where his mom was and what she did for work he looked at me and said in the same goofy tone she's dead I totally thought he was kidding and laughed my face off when my friend told me he wasn't kidding I just laughed harder because I felt awkward but the laughter went on for a good five minutes and the entire time I kept apologizing laughs I am so s-sorry laughter continues I was in my algebra III class last year the teacher had just passed out the homework so it was pretty much silent in the room suddenly this girl behind me sneezed and then immediately farted think eh HHH Cho off I looked over at my friend who was busy suppressing his laughter and I just lost it for the next ten minutes my body was shaking from trying not to laugh which just made it worse a guy with one arm came into work and a co-worker walked up to him and asked I do you need a hand then they both kind of just looked at each other while I turned away and walked elsewhere in the store to hide if there is anyone reading this who only has one hand if anyone ever does this to you please please grab their hand while saying yes this one will do job interview I was nervous and had two coffees and spent the morning watching cat videos on YouTube I didn't get the job you weren't applying to read it were you I'd show up every day one of my best friends was sitting front and center at our College Theatre production audience of about 300 tripping her face off on acid she has a very distinct and some would say shrill piercing annoying laugh the play began and she began to laugh at each line in the show as if it was the most hilarious punchline you've ever heard every line it was so ridiculous that the other people in the audience thought it was part of the show and that it was some new theatre technique so they all started laughing every time she laughed the actors got really messed up and I could see the confusion on their faces then the audience got it's after about 15 minutes of this laughing getting funnier and funnier and then followed the most awkward silence tension I've ever witnessed in my life the kind of awkwardness where being a flies being about 2,000 decks too big yep and it wasn't even me my friend asked me to go to Christmas Mass one year I'm not a believer but went along as a favor the local Catholic Church is huge but by the time we got there it was standing room only so we stood at the back after a while we noticed there was a little boy in the back pew who kept staring at me I'd been ignoring him for about half an hour when just as the priest said let's just pray and everything got real quiet my friend turns to me and says he thinks you're his dad I lost my [ __ ] completely I spent the rest of the service desperately trying to maintain some kind of composure and be respectful but that little bastard just kept turning around I imagine everyone who saw me standing there shaking red-faced which says streaming must have thought I was having a really profound religious experience your friend is a genius humorist I laughed way too long at this this is my favorite this joke is the brother joke - pointing at a weird person in a bar / crowd and asking your friend why's your dad here I have a tendency to burst out laughing when someone dies unexpectedly or by some creative means in movies what there's a heavy dramatic scene and the female walks out into the street Pio w the bus Mac's are in front of the horrified males face cue the dramatic music and me laughing like a hyena in the background that one part in taken you guys know what I'm talking about I absolutely lost it I like the ending weekend a goatee boom at the funeral of a girl who shot herself in the chest there playing a video of pictures with sad music and I grab a Bible and set it in my lap on the coverage said Bible special edition my best friend leans over and whispers that the Bible I have is better than a normal one because of the directors commentary from God and Moses I was laughing so hard my I stood up and I covered my face afterwards everyone was trying to console me because they though I was sobbing with grief everybody consoling me would just make me laugh at much harder I was at my girlfriend's brother's wedding when I was 15 the best man was my girlfriend's other brother he is always a joker and is one of those guys who has me in tears every time I see him he starts a speech about how he always looked up to his brother the groom and then pretended to cry I was right in front of the top table and I laughed loudly for a couple of seconds turns out he is actually crying and I am on the wedding video laughing at him while he is crying sentimentally luckily he sees the funny side when my best friend arrived at school looking incredibly sad and teary and telling me affair member had died she was so quiet and really held back on telling me who it was I was freaking out asking if her grandparents cousins et Cie were okay when she suddenly blurted out that her old senile grumpy s cat had died The Laugh escaped before I even knew it was there I guess I was just so relieved that it wasn't an actual person who had died if that makes sense : disclaimer I do in fact love animals I just was not particularly fond of this bastard cat that continually left his [ __ ] in random rooms of her house for us to find two stories one about me one about my dad one I was at a wedding just a couple of months ago at the reception I sat at a table with a bunch of good friends the bride's dad started to say grace before the meal started and half the table just ducking lost it for no reason everybody was definitely staring at us - my dad is a chemist and thus goes to many conferences all around the world a little over 10 years ago he had to go to a conference in Austria and decided to bring my mom and I along for a few days while he was going to conference sessions my mom and I were exploring the small village that was hosting the conference we met up with my dad for lunch after one of the sessions and he was chuckling to himself we asked what happened and he explained he had been in a session about electrodes the presenter was a Japanese man who kept pronouncing a tarik turds my dad couldn't contain himself and just started laugh-in his ass off in a room filled with distinguished chemists and Nobel laureates he eventually had to excuse himself from the session because he couldn't stop laughing erection sounds like a villain in a really bad porn parody of transformers thanks for watching subscribe for three 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Channel: Ask Planet

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Id: 9f8ipMIVXPc

Length: 22min 55sec (1375 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 29 2020