Stock Clearance Special - Polly Pocket, Green Lantern | Ashens

stop clearance special I've wanted to do one of these for ages but didn't get round to it except now I have and you're presumably about to watch it anyway occasionally Poundland will get in items which are obviously things that were sold in other shops for far more money you know their proper branded things and that kind of stuff and for one reason or another they didn't sell in the normal shops so they've been stinking up a warehouse somewhere for years eventually Poundland come in buy them all cheap so the items are for a pound each I'm sure you're aware of that concept anyway I've got hold of two ranges well everything I could from a couple of Rangers to show you today and the first frankly is one of the most horrific things I've ever encountered in my life we're starting off well I present to you Polly Pocket no not Polly Pocket self she's just a girl with enlarged cranium who jumps around everywhere I present you what's in the box the cute uns you see they're like mutants only cute if you look you can see clearly what they are they like a ketchup bottle and a mustard bottle in the shape of a cat and a mouse except they're not as the back clearly tells us it is a cat crossed with a ketchup bottle and a mouse crossed with a mustard bottle so basically ah Polly Pockets seems to have gone completely insane like some sort of Nazi scientist has killed all her pets has skinned them and is repurposing them as inanimate objects let's have a look shall wreak some sugar just the sort of fool you're thinking of picking up for your children I know I'm not all right so little plastic things and covered in glitter for some reason that one to enhance perceived value or something and yeah basically it's like the worst form of taxidermy imaginable she's killed a cat hollowed it out and is using it to dispense ketchup not ketchup anybody would want to eat and the same thing goes for the mouth except has got more humorously shaped ears they even got its dead eyes staring out at her from her kitchen every day Polly pocket eudaimonic lunatic but they didn't just stop at weird things for putting ketchup sources in for instance have a look at this shiny cat that's also a cassette tape basically she's got a cassette tape and glued on the cat's tail ears whiskers and paws and then stuck its eyes in it that's just absolutely monstrous but don't worry it gets worse it turned that she eats them as well or at least wants to imply she is he is a tiger that she's somehow stuffed full of sugar and turned into one of those Christmas candy cane things mmm it looked so happy with it's a horrible glass eyes staring out at you that's how do you render a corpse with sugar I don't want to know the next one I don't can't even tell you what this is or what it's supposed to be it's like a shiny blob it came with the candy canes the presumed its suppose to be food I mean what gumdrop no idea actually or some other packaging around here somewhere and if we can find out from that here we go nope they've hit low bits that one by the looks of it it is oh it's a dog not a Cara thought it was a cat some reason he's going look at dogs Taylor dog and yes Barkley gumdrop naughty little hang on they look like they're frolicking up oh my god just when you thought this couldn't get any worse what fresh hell is this where's the other packet hang on they're not dead they're still alive trapped in some sort of horrifying inanimate what so Polly Pocket is like some sort of comic book villain now is she who's got like a team of mad surgeons who run around repurposing her animals as semi inanimate objects how is that still alive why would it want to be alive if it could speak what would it be saying kill me is exactly what it would be saying oh man this has taken a turn for the dark right let's look at the last couple of things we've got shall we I don't want to anymore um here's a stereo that was a dog or might still be a dog it doesn't move look / / / / / enjoy usery etc etc and it's just basically bits of a dog stuck to a radio with a weird action feature that's not very exciting I've not dropped one of them that's annoying oh wait here it is because you wouldn't want to miss out on the half pig half camera would we look you push in the screen on its back and its nose extend slightly nose stroke lens and it's winking because she could only find bump oh no it's still alive isn't it so it's just sort of twitching and screeching in agony I imagine and that's why one of his eyes are closed and lastly we have a calculator crossed with a cat actually the tail is supposed be a skunk why she got hold of a skunk anyway why is she doing this so obviously is run out of pits to transform into engines of pain and so has now gone on to just kidnapping wild animals well here it is with its cute little face and look it's an ticular if you move it it says like calculators can hello except I'm actually presuming that rather than hello that full-stop is marking the difference between two words there he'll is where it thinks it is and oh is it screeching in agony I mean good grief Polly Pocket what happened to you you used to be cool and now you're just like the worst person who ever lived I've just had a thought are these animal tests before Polly Pocket starts on humans oh my god she's going to invite her mates over one day punch full of rohypnol and they wake up turned into fan heaters or something good grief well I thought there's a fairly horrific concept to start with but now I am seriously freaked out by the whole thing I'm not surprised they ended up impounded who thought this was a good idea is just horrible in the whole concept is horrific and you might be laughing now at home just wait until you get back from work one day to find that Polly Pockets team of psychotic surgeons turned your wife into one of those automatic bread makers anyway ahem there you are if your daughter to play with some eternally suffering crimes against nature these toys are absolutely perfect personally I'm going to lock them in a big lead-lined box and then chuck it off Beachy Head so it doesn't inspire future generations to perform horrific acts on living creatures so how so see you there where are you green lanten her name synonymous with failure not only in cinematic terms but also in toy terms apparently because the figures were all over powered land like a big green rash now I haven't seen the green back in film and don't know much about the comics my entire knowledge is that there's a bloke called Hal Jordan or possibly a different bloke depending when you read the comics who has like this magic power ring I think originally he had a lantern or does he have a lantern he sticks the ring and I don't know but it like lets him make green holograms that smash things up or something and inexplicably he's weak to the color yellow or something absolutely bizarre like that and the villain it is called Sinestro which is a really poor name for a villain because it contains the word sinister so um you know it's a little bit too obvious also there was another villain called parallax who looked like Hal Jordan except he had like white in his hair I only know that because I had a figure of it once look like I think I'm one when I bought some fun size Mars bars what a bizarre week that was so yes and all these action fingers have turned up there and they're all right there quite nicely moulded I suppose an homage articulation in them let's have a look shall we but first here's some jewelry for you see every figure comes with an identical Green Lantern power ring of your very own look it's tiny as in so tiny if you get it anymore in your little finger than that by bending the hard rubber it would cut off the circulation so that's one for very very small children only all four tiny little monkeys who happen to like green lanten anyway who have we got them first up it is indeed how Jordan here he is look he's like a test pilot and he's got his test pilot gear on let's take it off and now it's it's not Ryan Reynolds I think it's supposed to be but it's really not looking much like him yeah that's not a great figure it's all old Star Wars figure articulation probably costing a couple of quid to knock out and the first time I bent it is ass fell off and then it's legs dropped off are these ones that failed some sort of quality control or were they all like that most of you paid eight quid for this you've bend it in his bum folder anyway that's how Jordan Ryan Reynolds or something Lots what's the detail on the back of the package hell Jordan after being selected herbs herbs you I don't care who's next purple hated man here he is look he's basically like Hal Jordan except he's got a purple head let's not think too much about that figuratively and he comes with some sort of thing he's made from his own is that the best you could come up with you can create anything out of these sort of like constructs but you've got a big spoke Meister bang people on their head with well done and look you can move the arms around like that that's about the only interesting bit of articulation these have look at me mother I may have a purple edge but I can fly I'm sure that's exactly the voice he has in the movie and so yeah I don't know perhaps he's just a really angry bloke no idea what's his actual name Abin Sur crash landing on earth either escaping the terrible entity parallax oh there we are green enstein just a blanket I saw I don't know he must founder of this is a new blue I don't care who's next then I'm pretty sure this one in fact I'm 100 cent short of Jesse's name on the box is the villain Sinestro this is odd and I also tell you for why because um his head is normal I'm certain the comics he had like a giant forehead but perhaps they cut that out of the film in order to make it M cheaper to produce or something and he comes with a weird green sword and then like another bigger green sword he's quite keen his swords basically better than that he's Hal Jordan with a different head as an amusing spivey moustache I believe in the film who's played by Mark Strunk is an excellent actor and probably deeply regrets being in that film but probably not actually as they paid him quite a lot of money I would hope anyway so yeah that's a nice looking on he does have the giant forehead so why doesn't he have the giant forehead on the figure rubbish hate not right kids aren't gonna like it but not to worry because we've got one that's not like Hal Jordan or the different head now it's basically a small child's drawing of Chewbacca I love the phaser is probably all it can say and it's got little dopey legs and a giant swamp thing like hand it makes it look like it's constantly extending its middle finger to you marvelous these are quite well made not like those ridiculous em well test pilots with falling off legs and it comes with this really weird thing that looks like one earth that is it's just got connecting it to poke people unless it's hang on it's an adapter look comes with an adapter to use other people's weapons because it's so stupid it can't think of its own what a shame also that's a bit of a cheat because then if you want them to have a weapon by another figured and then we're keen on that anyway that's by far my favorite so far that's one of the shelter of interesting items I think and what's he actually called vols I see balls comes from the hostile world of echo Ram wonder they're for crying Ella I know there's this thing in green lanten where it has hundreds of people in the Green Lantern Corps but all they're all like crazy aliens and stuff but some of them do feel a bit phoned in dummy anyway next one's a cool one velociraptor man goes that doesn't mean if that's a bit distressing yeah it's basically a Velociraptor in a green lantern suit with a ring yeah you just know he's going to have a job like he's actually the one who more praise the call center or something horrible sort of a bony skeleton tail as well knocking on him one weapon doesn't come with oh my goodness he's with a sick oh look he comes with some sort of bear trap yeah actually does outlook clunk oh yeah I bite your leg off lovely no I suppose dinosaurs are gonna be a bit vicious not so it's stupid because it's got a lead of like one and a half feet so don't the dump the dump the dump the dump oh there's that bloke trying to get me no no keep walking but use this thing's obviously connected to you I can see it a mile off should have thought this one through I think I like that more nearly I'll stick some eyes on top interesting kind of what name is a Mott Cole I don't know is it born in the slums of Feniger is a reptilian hero yes fair enough we can get all that go on then what's up next next up is frog bloke what more could you ask for a frog bloke with this beard made chest articulation it just looks really pissed off so would you if you basically look like something that dripped out of somebody's no reason were given a power ring now it comes with a gun I was the only sensible when I had the Lawtons we have to get up close and personal l just dropped it never mad and yeah half man half frog looks like something made by Polly Pocket home don't really know what to say to him I hope is amusingly french-sounding name for races and lols hohoho no what is he actually called green man what the little green man in zum-zum what the Green Cross code manor born on the suppressed world of ups or green man dared to defy authoritarian rule yeah he's got the face of somebody who's dared to defy authoritarian rule actually hasn't he's got the face of someone who's behind you on the bus who hasn't got the correct change just something about one there's a half man half frog brilliant let's knock off early okay next up we've got oh my god jump cut sorry I I thought I was immune to these ridiculous designs and I was seeing them all again in a row it's just sick yeah anyway this is just like a big stupid face with hands with creepy long fingers but what you haven't seen the best bit yet it's got a tiny little withered legs off massive thighs like and as if to highlight how stupid is I don't even make this out it's got defined toes hasn't even got like shoes or something it's just some oh this is like something somebody came up with to take the piss isn't it yes let this one in see if John notices and his weapon seems to be a clerk across between the thing Klingons use in war and a motorcycle control unit and Dana's fingers go in and over oh my goodness that's just like I lack the necessary language to tell you how ridiculous I find this thing the look on his face helps as well hem is this called galius Zed mmm always ready for a fight Galia said delighting - charging into battle I mean look if you go for a headshot you just have to hit anywhere but with an oversized cranium yeah no Sherlock that forms the bulk of his body this quick-tempered an outspoken member of the cause usually first to volunteer for a mission inspiring his teammates to follow his lead across enemy lines I suspect they're just getting to go first they hope you'll be killed they're embarrassed of hanging around and oh my god the face of BOE returns terrifying right what's next I was another Hal Jordan by the looks of it I've got a normal one unfortunately but I have got one who looks pretty fabulous yes it's Starlight Express Hal Jordan night he's just all glittery and spangly and is auditioning for Magic Mike presumably just don't get that or you can bend his legs and his ass falling off those who's been the test pilot finger and comes with this ridiculous accessory that's like the front of Ghost Rider's motorcycle actually if we fit it together with there perhaps you can build a motorcycle if you get a putz I've got no idea anyway there he is what was he actually called Hal Jordan is all it says on the things that's on the front up solar saw Hal Jordan so that's the selling point no comment and yeah he's all glittery and spangly vesper not very interesting one go on what's next all this is more like it this is like a sort of proper alien thing budging with another adapter and yeah he's a big blow Disney look at that but on our arm wrestle him um it's a very demonic Goblin II sort of face actually mmm quinta better articulate this is a really nice solid figure actually tomorrow this one at all and you also spit it around as you can with the others to make him look at his own backside to see if it's clean so you know a very useful alien feature and yeah it's quite a formidable thing that's the thing that would be charging into battle headfirst not the thing that's only ahead anyway what's its name kilo kid kilo warg good grief can't get away with that is that the SI unit of racism or something no I'm gonna comment on that that's just horrible um next I don't know what this one you are we are like this one it's weapon may be a horrible pointy insect leg thing but the thing itself is like a robot insectoid thing how bizarre like sort of weird pipes and goodness knows what on its face and does have the ring so it must be alive and not just like a robot construct because it isn't that bizarre design I quite like that's like something from a 70 sci-fi book it is apparently called still he comes from grinned a planet inhabited entirely by robotic life or hang on the picture looks absolutely nothing like it that's like a sort of cool Space Marine robot finger includes clover that early concept figure so it's not figure of something in the film it's a figure of how they were going to make it then they made it generic and boring because presumably Michael Bay came into the room oh dear go on what's the last one then how jeweled and the game couldn't even be bothered to get him out the package without looking except it's bright green Hal Jordan from unease got a horrible disease Orissa to what's the max charge Hal Jordan always he's all charged up and he's got his ridiculous bow and arrow because apparent he couldn't think of a gun like somebody with some bloody sense oh well that's interesting does it light up no it doesn't do they make more expensive figures that light up I have no idea but I presume they did anyway that's the Green Lantern according to me and then according briefly to the back of the packet all I know is I spent about eleven quid on these bloody things you okay yeah do you want some bread no no not noches

Channel: ashens

Views: 993,913

Rating: 4.9165473 out of 5

Keywords: Polly Pocket, Cutants, inhuman cruelty, Illegal surgery, unbelievable suffering, cat, dog, skunk, ketchup, mustard, cassette, bread maker, human, Green Lantern, Ryan Reynolds, Hal Jordan, Sinestro, Voz, Green Man, Kilowog, Yes really Kilowog

Id: VhT0mt7Hvrg

Length: 20min 9sec (1209 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 03 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/DanezTHEManez]

sue is kinda....uh creepy to say the least