Hello, everybody, my name is Markiplier, and welcome to Civilization 6! Now, I'm not gonna claim to be an expert in the Civilization games. In fact, I'm probably very bad, so if you came here for expert gameplay, I am, I -I I apologize profoundly for my own stupidity. But for those of you who like Civilization, like I do, I've been a fan of it since about Civilization 3. I thoroughly enjoy it because I-I don't know what it is about it. It captures that essence of commanding the entire world, and the the feeling of exploration is really cool and it appeals to me in a grand stand. But I just don't have the patience to play, like, the super long games or like, keep a marathon, and get really good at the game. So when I'm going to play this, I'm gonna play it - just to have some fun. I'm not going to do a long series on it, but I am gonna just have some fun. This game just came out either today or yesterday, or whenever, so I'm just gonna play a brand new game. No, I'm going to create a custom game, thank you very much! I'm going to pick my leader, thank you very much! "Catherine De Medeecheee" Cleopatra... typical. Ghandi? Fuck that guy... Ted-Teddy Roosevelt! Hell yeah! Alright, game difficulty... You know what, I'm gonna set a high standard for myself! If I call myself the "King of A Lot of Things", I'm definitely gonna be a king here. Alright, so I'm gonna do standard...we're not gonna get very far. Alright, whatever, I'm just gonna do shuffle because I can't do it. Now we're gonna do small because I don't have the patience to explore a giant desolate wasteland. So come on Teddy!! We're gonna do this!! [Narrator]: From the first stirrings of life beneath water, (Mark): Hell yea. [Narrator]: To the great beast of the stone age. (Mark): Oh yeah! [Narrator]: To man taking his first upright steps, you have come far. (Mark): Oh, yes I have. [Narrator]: Now begins your greatest quest. (Mark): Oh. [Narrator]: From this early cradle of civilization, on towards the stars. (Mark): Is that Sean Bean?? [Narrator] And so it is upon your broad shoulders, Theodore Roosevelt, to charge forth and lead your people on their great adventure. Use your military mind to give the peoples of your homeland the square deal they so desperately deserve. Surely, you will raise America into the limelight and attract visitors from across the oceans just to see your lands. Bully for you... Mr. President (Mark) BULLY!!! Bully indeed!! Bully for Sean Bean!! Bully for world domination!! A square deal for America and 'Merica alone. Fuck all those other guys! and Gandhi especially-- fuck that guy! Okay, So... Apparently we're gonna a bit more...rel-militarilistic (Female narrator) As your personal adviser, I am qualified to assist you in all matters related to ruling our civilization. (Mark) Oh~ Oh! (Female narrator) I am at your service. (Mark) Oh! *Laugh* Oh! You think I don't know how to play? The answer is probably that I do not but I'm not going to pay any attention to you I'm new to this one Well I ain't much for being picky; how about we settle right on here... Do the found a city thing. Hell yeah! Oh no, we can't see Alright so we got warriors, we got Washington, nothing being produced. We need to do something about that. I- *sing-songish* am gonna do a thing. *Sighs* Oh man. Man, Teddy Roosevelt ain't no... He ain't no astrologer! He's animal husbandry -- Oh, 100%! That's so Teddy! Oh hell yeah! Alright, we're doin' that.. Code of Laws... I dunno... Do we have any laws? Are we in total anarchy here? Is everything gonna die horribly?? The answer is yes, except for us. We're gonna survive! 'Cuz nothing can kill the bull moose president! Alright, what're we doin'? *singing* Arriiwe need to build a Monument to mah Greatness! But we do need a builder - ah, we don't have a builder. Maybe we can get a builder. Nah! You know what?! I know I'm great! I know I'm amazing! I know everything about that, but other people don't know how great I am! I need to build a monument and that's gonna be the -first- thing that we build because I'm amazing and everyone should know about it! Alright, you... Dickhole McDooger, You go over there. Oh, yes. Oh, yesss! What'd you find? You found water and a bullshit frozen plain! Good job! and rice fields. Cool! And COWS!! We're gonna get Animal Husbandry and we're gonna get on over there. Alright, anyway. Next turn! We're done here. We did it. We good. Who else is here? Someone scattering around in the darkness by the krakens? and the... whatever the hell that is? and the... that thing? Nothin' over here. *quietly* except more horrors... Alright. I guess go this way. Oh no, did I just?.. Ohh, it's a peninsula. Ahhh, I went the wrong way 'cause I'm an idiot. Oh, wait. There's jade over there! Holy shit, there's a lot of resources over here. Seems like...seems like Washington was founded in in - in East Asia and I'm not sure why or how, but I'm okay with it! *Bobbidee-boop* Well, I guess we can go back! There's nothing over there... :/ *Mark Noises* Hub-ah-da, hub-ah-da, hub-ah-da, hub-ah-da! *meekly* Charge! We got nothin' to do for a long time so ya just gotta keep marchin', ya dick! What's over here? Ohh, that's more like it. *gasp* A town to ransack?! Hell yes! >:D Wait, what'd that say? "The appeal is Breathtaking!" Hell yeah! *aesthetic* Oh, I want that! Oh, we're gonna make a city there! Oh, Hell yes we are! Alright.. we're gonna go 'visit' you. Don't mind our axes and our maces! *roll to Bluff* They're Friendliness Axes! we're gonna have a great... Why am I?... Yeah, why am I doing this? You guys have been like: "Hey, you don't know how to play!" >:( The answer is 'Yes, I do not.' :D Hello! (Female Narrator) Reconnaissance units like Scouts are unique in that they can - -gain experience by exploring and discovering parts of the world.
*Happy l'il Marky dance* That's Nice! Is that new to Civ VI? 'Cuz I can't quite remember. My brother is a much bigger fan of this game than I am. But, it's cool though because it's just like... You know... me and my own! It's my thing! and I'm this! and everyone else can go die >:D! Anyway, we got Animal Husbandry, so we got ...er, we're -gonna- have Animal Husbandry and we'll get that. But now we're apparently got a Scout So where you gon' go? You go venture this way... Go over dere -- ish. Good job! +sees unprotected village to ransack again+ *tiny gasp* Another town... Okay, cancel your previous orders and do this thing. K, how do I cancel previous orders? I think I got it. Alright. So, you're gonna go... "Your knowledge of Masonry..." "Hidden Technical Secret!" Yay! We killed them, and stole their knowledge! :D As Teddy would've wanted. Oh, I love it. I love the ambiance of it. I love the patience of it. I love -- like, I don't have the patience to play really long games but it's something about -- like it's so appealing just to have a game... and it be this thing where you just sit and you enjoy the environment and let it play out around you. Isn't that right, Teddy? *History Time!* Theodore Roosevelt was very big into preserving the natural resources of America. You can thank a lot of the parks that we have here in America -- North America... the United States of America... whatever you wanna call it, to Teddy Roosevelt, who was very big into all that stuff. He loved nature and that's why he was such a fuckin' BADASS! >:D Because he was a Badass! That's all he was! He wrestled bears. He ate ROCKS. He was super -- super hardcore like that... I can't remember if he was in Civ V I don't think so. Alright, anyway. We're done here! Er'rebodies done. Have a good time bein' done. Alright what're we doin?.. *surprised gasp* Who the fuck are you? You wanna, You wanna, You wanna, You WANNA You Wanna TUSSLE? Huh? Buddy Boo? Hey? Who're you?! H-How're you doin'? Nice, on that Charming Grassland. Mine's, y'know, just -Average :( You got the Charming one, I don't know why... I don- I don't wanna attack ya. Says "Major Victory"... I mean, who is that? Is that anybody? Ahh, I'll kill 'em!! *dogs barking* Take some of this! Yeah, keep the dogs out of this. This is just between you and me. Oh gosh... Well, that didn't...work. That didn't do nuthin' :/ *weird sick noise* Alright, where we goin' here? ♪ I don't know what we got! I don't know what we got! ♪ ♪ Our Monument is not built yet ♪ :( ♪ I don't know what we got. ♪ That must be Barbarians. Yeah, that is Barba--Hey, you stay out mah city! (Female Narrator) Enacting new policies in our government can be of great benefit. Oooh! (Narrator) Our people await your decree. Sure, how do I do that? Aughhh, shit! (Sean Bean'ing) I am fond of pigs. (SB) Dogs look up to us. (SB) Cats look down on us. (SB) Pigs treat us as equals. (Mark) Well, THAT'S an interesting slogan... Why not a slogan from Tweddy? *Mean Sean Bean Machine* It is not wisdom, but authority, that makes a law. Nice! Thanks, Sean Bean! Again, your voice is soothing. Alright, so we need... to change policies. What shall we do? Discipline...mmmbbrrrr... the Best?! 'Defense is beatin' the Shit out of everybody around you! (Teddy approves) Okay, we need -- oh, God King! I could be a Gawd King! (of the Squirrels) Amongst mere mortals, Gawd Markiplier! God of the Squirrels! (Oh he made the joke too) GOD of Five Nights At Fredd --Nah, that sounds terrible. I'll try Urban Planning 'cause that sounds better and I need to produce things. Yeah, we're good! Except we got...y'know... Frickin' Barbarians over here. :/ Can you beat the shit out of 'em already? Hit 'em harder! Hit 'em! Gawd, use something more than a stick! Well, I'm not gonna be able to get back with these guys so... Oh well. Oh hi! Howzit goin'? :D Heeey! (I'm gonna kill ya for your knowledge!) Oh, that's a charming wooden grassland with a river. I'm gonna take that, kill you... (told ya) steal all of your stuff -- you won't remember it 'cause you're dead -- and then take your city for my own and maybe even Found a City there because I am just that cool. Alright, fine. We need to research something else. *Ahh, ba-be-da-ba-bo-ba-ba-ba-ba* Oooh! We could get the Roughriders! Ohh, we love horseback riding! Ahh, it's so good! Not very useful...in the long run... but nah, I want horses! I want horsies! :D Oh, Civic? Ooohh.. Foreign Trade... Crafts-Man-Ship *ba-ba-be-bo-ba-bo-ba* Trade routes! We need those. We need a lotta those. Alright, we're done 'ere! Everybody done? We're good? Everybody good? Y'all good? Alright -- yeah, you'd better stay away! I-I'm still gonna... Beat the Shit outta you! D:< Although it'd be tactically bad to go over there *mutters* 'cause then they could attack us and I don't think that's gonna be a good idea. So we gotta... I'mjustgonna I'm gonna - I'm gonna attack ya in like... later. La-On-One later! I'mma try to go...there. And you're gonna...you're gonna GET IT UR GON GET IT! Hah-Booski! Oh, shit dude! D: Oh, God. Yeah, don't hurt the dog ...please. Okay, we did it! Woooo, we killed a guy! :D Alright! *Heh* We're off to a great start on this Empire of ours! He was just a Scout, he wasn't doin' nothin'! And we killed him! Great! Alright, anyway. Is that Monument done yet? Augh, three more turns. Good God... *ha-ba-ba-da-ba-ba* Okay, get back to exploring ya douche! Go over...there! Alright, you... *sigh* It says 'Major Victory' but I don't believe that! I don't think they can attack us from there, but maybe we can... Maybe we can get a Thing™. Maybe we can Do a Thing™. :T Sa-It says I might win 'cause I get a +5 against Barbarians! It's a Stalemate, GodDammit! >:/ Okay so attacking from this position is not good... but if I'm gonna die I could die from a Breathtaking(5) vista! I mean, that sounds pretty good. 'River Defense' Oh yeah, that's what it is. 'Cause they're - they're defending from the river. So if I'm there... So if-if I cross the river first and then attack I'd have a better advantage but I'd take a hit before I get there. Ohh, it don't look good! :/ I'll take the hit. I think I can hit them too. If they do attack me. I don't know if they will. Alright, I'mma do this 'cause this seems like the better option. Alright, you go, buddy! Oh, you found Crab! U like Craff (Crab)? I like Craff. :T Okay. 'Major Victory' Well, let's see about that! Habooski! Haba - bam, bim, bam! Yeah, even though we look like the Barbarians here with our, y'know... sw..kilts... and stone weapons... and looking like Barbarians and you guys look rather Civilized and broad chested. But, y'know, I-I'm gonna assume you're the bad guy here. We are do -- OH, we built a Monument!! Ahh, yes! The Roosevelt Monument! A bit stout, but still noble! Alright, we need a Settler. I'm gonna take yer shit :D 'cuz ah-wh-from what I see... Oh, it's only Charming(2). Man, it was Breathtaking(5) over there! >:( Why do I even want your shit? Maybe I'll just found a city next to you and you can gooooo eat a dick. :T Alright, what've we got here? Purchase Tile? *mutters* I don't have the gold for that I've only got 72 gold... 'Purchase an Item with Gold?' Oooh. Ahh, I can't afford those! Alright, we're buildin' a Settler. Purchase a tile maybe? 50 gold? I don't want that! :( I mean, I got enough Food. I mean, the city is obviously growing. If you didn't know -- I'm assuming you all have a base knowledge of Civilization, like you... you establish your base and then it grows based on the tiles around you whether they be Food, Production... This place is awfully good because it does offer more Food but I kinda want that forest because it offers Production which is something that I do need. Two of 'em! 'Cause I wanna be able to build things faster. I mean eventually as your city expands, it's going to do this anyway. But if you spend your gold you might get an advantage early on. So I gonna try it. I don't know if it is gonna be worth it, but I'll be able to complete this settler a little more quickly. Alright next Y-you like a kraff? Good job on the kraff *weird French accent* Burnanas! WOW! We're stranded! There is nobody here. We is the fuck'd.. *normal* We gotta get boats to get out? I shouldn't have picked Rando! Maybe-maybe that's like a land bridge right over there that is gonna connect me with the other things. Can you still beat da shit out of those guys?! What are you? Tired? FACK YOU!!! Units need orders. I know unit needs orders! Ok you need to go all the way over here, and then you need to beat the shit out of 'em! ARH! I said beat the shit, not fall over and die!! Okay, it's just one of them left. You're gonna fall over and die to one of them? HUH!? Oohh shit.. Hello, where the f-- Oh you made that.. You BIRTHED that.. Okay. Get 'em! *Ha-blah-huh-ha-bler* I think I missed a turn there like an idiot. MINE NOW!!! This is mineee. Thank you!! Alright. Cool. We learnt how to foreign trade. *smirks* We learnt how to be civil and trade with people after we murdered all of you. (Narrator) I suppose it's an aspect of trade, I suppose. *thumbs up* The world gets stirred up together. (Mark) Nicee.. I need to find other people to be able to do that ahh.. Naval units!! Ooo we do need naval. I am gonna assume that we are gonna be good about this. We're gonna get naval stuff. AND I like trading. And we only have one city... so plus one isn't doing us a whole lot of good. *boink* Haha Hell yeah!!! We're so set... We're the greatest! We're gonna choose a civic. What is that?!? Mysticism? AhHH!! Teddy Roosevelt wants an empire!!! Give me my empire... Give me ALL of my empire... Alright you guys... can you attack that guy..? Can you-are you still, you're still going, okay. * ha-ba-da-ha-ba-da-ha-ba-da-ha-ba-da* C'mon, poochy, we gon' get it! Discovered a continent? When did we discover a new continent?!? Ohhh, god! Ohh, no We got scoots (scouts) Dat scoot is looking at us very dirty like. Alright, barbos (Barbarians) get back to home base because you need to defend it. Even though you're very slow. Oh I'm so gonna have a base over there, by all the craff. Oh yeah! Is it charming? Is it charming? Tell me it's charming Oh, it's breathtaking! Oh, hell yeah! Oh god, yeah. aw this is only charming. Man if I had just gone one over I would of had that but whatever... it's fine. Alright you getting back, you getting back BLAH BLAH BLAH! I'M DONE! D-do more turns. Get more quicker. (Random sounds brought to you by Mark) What happened? HEY WE LEVELED UP! Ohh yeah! We had population growth. Hell yeah. HELL yeah. There's a unit availible for promotion. Really? Ooh! Uhhh buh buh buh buh buh (Markisheep) (mark is still being a sheep) How do I promote you, you (pause) are a little bitch. How do I promote you? Ok, either I'm dumb (no) and I don't understand this, or I'm not getting it (yes). Which I think... AWWWHHWWW ( mark is interrupted by a cow) WE'RE TRAPPED! Goddamnit. Let me look up. Isn't there like a help.... Yeah, okay. Oh it wasn't YOU that was available for the promotion! It was the other guy! Stop stealing all the credit ya dick! Tortoise? Ooh. Yeah, we're going to Battle Cry. Charge and charge again! Once more unto the breach. Mai friends :3 But we are FUCKED, and also waterlocked until we decide to stop being such a douche So I'm assuming we're on the southern edge because it looks like we're on the southern edge of the map (??) You're a ranger. You're a rough riding ranger-boo. You know, you ought to make exploration not that there's much left to explore. But you just go for it. Okay? Ooh hello? Where did you come from? Oh, hey! Where are you all coming from? You being dropped off by a boat somewhere? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Stalemate? Nah, just, you know just run away quickly. You're a coward you already killed, you don't want to kill again. You wash your hands clean of all the blood of your enemies >:D I understand. Woah hello! What the fek happened? What the fuuk- Oh god! I was like- I saw the red and I was like holy shit! What the FUCK! Thought we died.. Alright, that's fine though. Okay. So it's got recommended spots over here which is kinda where I was thinking of putting it And also over there, which..pretty sure - WAIT. Isn't this sea fairing too just cause I'm by a river? Isn't that how that goes? *whispers to himself* I have no idea... But i want that craaaaaaff! OH I WANT ALL THAT CRAAAFF Alright fine! I- I'll do the guide D:< I'll get the craff later! Hope that scout doesn't cause my settler any problems Alright. We neeeeeed... God damnit. We can't build nothin! We can't build dick. I need a builder I gotta have a builder. I dont know why it doesn't want me to have a builder. ha-be-da-boop Alright I'm turning on quick movement because... It's taking too long. Alright you.. What would happen? Minor victory. Nah. Come back over here. woowuh heyyy heya wooh WOOH HEY Alright that's speedy. I like it! Alright scout you uh... Automate or whatever. Youu. You're not where you're supposed to be are ya? *whipsers* are ya? WHY DID IT CHANGE!?!? Aww I want that craff I want all that craff I'm gonna go over here whoop. There we go. *random scatting* [Game] It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman empire. [Game] With air conditioning, their windows were shot. [Game] They couldn't hear the Barbarians coming. That doesn't make any sense! I'm gonna assume you're being sarcastic. Alright. What do we got? ooOOooOOoh. Colonization. Me likey. Me need colonization. Hell yeah! Oh yeah! Alright. Is this a good place for a city? Nahhh! I said I was gonna be on top of the Barbarians' corpes. So i really feel like i wouldn't be up to my word if i didn't do that. I'd be kind of a liar. I don't want that. Alright. Where are we headed? We got early emperorrrr...empire. Games and recreation? *whispers* Hell yeah... Political philosophy? *very high pitched* OOOO! UGHHH so many things...I dont know.. Dram-CRAFTMANSHIP! I LOVE TO BUILD STUFF! Building stuff is awesome! It's like the coolest! *Giddy* OOH CRAFT?! I want craft! How to get sailing?! WHY ARE WE STUCK ON HORSEBACK RIDING?! Gah damnit! This is why I need a builder. Our unit (needs?) orders. Oh! Barbarian horsemen- WHERE ARE THESE BARBARIANS- come back COME BACK- come back home! Come home! oh zip! zip-zop-zoobbady-bop Don't wanna be stuffed in the face with a spear, do ya? Alright just go ba- ohh, I forgot, only one can be... ..fortified... That's right. That's right. Okay, you go outta there, You go- yo- wuh-f*** Alright you settle there, Greatest city, "Gaining a city on the coast has given your civilization insight in'ta- -navigating the waaaves." "Your knowledge of sailing has advanced considerably" Yay! Can we switch? I think I can switch right? AWW HELL YEAH I CAN SWITCH :D yeEEHhheHHEHHhees God that's a lot of...shit that you need... Weeeell I dont have time to do any of THAT. So can I- -BUY tiles? ooo yes I can.. ooo yes I- I'm gonna get you, Craft! This town's gonna grow really quickly. The only thing it doesn't have is a lot of production. But we can build improvements once we actually have a builder. Get this and this and we are gooOOood thats gonna be good enough for meehhy. A trader? Alright focus on the trader he'll get better over time He'll get better! You just gotta let it be better and then 'ur gonna get better D'un worry bout it (wut) Alright you fortify there because there's nothing left to explore.. You go Next turn. ooohh shitty dicks. Okay what about- Would be Minor victory [weird voice] euugh they are riding horseback and I didn't get any other.. ..enemies. *normal* Alright you know what? Imma be over here And this guys also gonna help out because I cant have you doing things That's gonna be a major defetat. WeeEEEEeell i'm just gonna fortify there! you're gonna.. ..fortify there.. Alright next turn! Don't go to my new city you b- aaAAHH There we go! Good thing I fortified Heh! Take my stick! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Nyeh, you thought that hurt? When that horse trampled my face? HEH! FUK YOU Ohh god i'm almost dead, ah jeez, okay you-you jus- yo- you take a knee. Take a knee good buddy. Alright you're gonna get a victory there. Like it, I like it! Hibbidy bap bop boobbidy bop! OOOOOO ONE OF YOU ARE DOWN- but the horsies okay- Bye Horsie! ohhh no you're gonna get, oh you're gonna get dead im sorry So long as my settle, st-ooo hey woah Where wuh- WAY WOAH WOAH what's WAHY what's this all about HEEYAH. You ju-don't do that! OOOOW! My face! Alright can you.. Scoutie-boo, can you finish him off? Ohhhh Gawd! Well thats not good! Oh, I- ohh ooOOoh no, ooOOoh no, when did this happen? HEBEDEBOOSKI ke-KILL HIM! He's dead right? Okay good he's dead. Jeezums~! I need'ta get more eh-no-meez oo bronzeworking Hey nice! Aright cool we got that benefit so we need more- What we need are warriors, oddly enough.. So i'm just gonna build warriors I dont have enough gold to buy one but we're definitely going to do something about this Alright you guys Okay, Builder, we can build a farm heeeere. Farm..okay get to work on that! You guys go back here- wooa Alright, so, you are in trouble So go to Charleston- why cant I name it? MAN the Barbarians are really- BARBARIC (pls) oh mah gawd dont kill mah builders they took so long to buiiild Thats not good.. You guys go back to Washington and FOUR-TEH-FII You Are PRETTY much boned. That's as far as I know. Maybe just- -y'now build a farm, they are probably gonna pillage And uh if I know anything about pillagers- -YEAH, theyre-uh-my-my builders are- ...nyah. OH I GET IT Oh it's three builders and they get expended every time they build Oh thats con- that's a good way to do it That is a good way ta, I like that. I LIKE THAT. That is good. Also fortifying there doesn't do me any good because they are.. mmmmmmajor victory eh? Th-theyre just firing arrows in aren't they? [Game] "It is not that life ashore is distasteful to me," [Game] "But life at sea is bettah" Nice! Yeah, I like that. Okay, sooo, yyyyou.. yyeeugh, gotta go there.. Where's ma barbies (barbarians) ...Mah Barbos. ..Mah Baibobos. Okay I can hit those guys but then I would be defenseless to those guys- the'yre gonna- They're gonna trounce me anyway uuoohhh boy. hyuooOOOhh boy. HYAooohh boy. I'm in a bit'ta touble I didnt make enough- bu- I thought I was alone on this island and that was my mistake because apparently.. [mumbled] that was the opposite of true Alright so i'm pretty close but this is- this is quick stuff I just need to do this because I- I need to get this done Please tell me i'm fine [Game] "Skill without imagination is craftsmanship" [Game] "And gives as many useful objects, such as wickerwork picnic baskets." Thanks, Tom Stoppard! Oookaay, aaah, mmmmhm yeees, okay, alright, oh I li- ooOOOHhh that's nicee Okeh, alright, so anyway! Im at- -BBYYUUUUEH- -in a bit of a conundrum but i'm all outta time for this episode so im'gonna end this here I'm gonna play this a little more just because i'm enjoying myself and i'm- -i'm really having a good time with this. I love Civilization! I really do, it's a great game And i'm not playing it very strategically here, And i'm not playing it very well, but hopefully I can survive And hopefully Gandhi is not waiting for me over on the horizon. So in the next episode we'll see: What other people are on this world as such as me also with me and do the thing (wut) AND ALSO we'll even see if I survive this barbarian raid- -which I probably will because i'm amazing and great. ' So THANK you everybody so much for watching: And as always, I will see you, in the next video! ~BUH-BYE!!~ [Outro Music] (Have a good day, folks!)
It's a shame most of the people in the comments don't know about Civ, rip :(