Civilization V: Brave New World - PART 1 - Steam Train

we bought too many gays now we gotta play them all to come up this is a robbery welcome back with game grumps I mean steam train alright we're starting over I'm here yeah welcome to the very first three team Steve's earning yeah yeah no no now we're just gonna roll with it yeah we'll take a player go got alright it's all three of us this is a soup five bring new world mansion it's not out good not oh yeah we got it early so we're all here to check it out I guess it's a setup game actually we're going to save a couple time I played a couple times meeting like last night four hours ago we're sick up III literally I've had friends who've been in a suit for like years and years and the first one came in in like 1991 the guys from sip reached out to us and we're like you want to play our game before it comes out we're like okay so we're checking it out and then Ross and I were like we are completely incapable of building a civilization yeah I literally kind of toast and you want me to build a civilization let's get Aaron okay do you mean Japan but yes Japan alright earth that's worth yeah we can be in Pangaea you plug the logo and fractal do earth yeah that's to never hurt I've never heard of those planets because you can ounce anything else okay uh tiny stitch a diam difficulty super hard come on quick dude it's really hard to settle dude so yeah I'll settle for anything alright start can go for it we're gonna do a quick game aka for our Jersey yeah we hear that the game itself standard is what like eight hours yeah game Oh God quick game is what for yeah so here we go okay Japanese what I've learned we've got the settlers so let's go what's your what's your goal right now the goal is to become the very best okay so we're gonna want to do is get out of the guys and find some solid friggin explanation Oh goal here for those who have not played civilization games is to become the most awesome civilization in the world you can do that either by crushing everybody and just just schooling the earth or you can have a cult victory start interrupts issue what should we get Oh animal husbandry yeah let's do a little husbandry you know what I believe in marriage equality yeah okay seals horses on the map double use Apple next turn so you even have a cultural victory where your your your civilization just basically becomes the most interesting place in the world and it and it influences all the other countries in the world everybody else just gets sad and there's also a science victory you can have I believe that's a new thing with this expansion pack where are you what's the science victory I believe you go into space and you meet aliens yeah yeah yeah yeah how crazy is this I [ __ ] know I mean we're not gonna do that because I think that's the hardest way to do it and I think all of us are incapable of building a civilization I live so far I've got cornered and found a cat house well done animal husbandry I'm gonna marry that cow yeah thou shalt not muzzle an ox I don't remember the rest good jockey box tradition America honor or PI T PI T piety you want pie let's have a bite let's have a piety dammit wait why not now we're gonna have a well never mind I was misleading we're gonna have a crazy cultish Japanese Bushido situation research ok we would what do you guys want pottery pottery class yeah did you I did too guys hey my did it fall on its own of the best idea what buttery buttery and animal husbandry yeah our civilization can't fail we're gonna have horses making pottery yeah when hordes of barbarians attack us we'll be able to like stave them off with well-fed horses and clay pots to be able to fill the pots with horse liquid look we throw it at them oh man oh man so Ross yeah should be chopping down some trees well I don't have any guys to do that yet so I what I'm trying to do right now is I'm scouting out the area trying to find our friends but I found some horses probably because oh no not about I don't think we have animal husbandry yet because this thing here and this is associated with our turns I believe okay probably those people at home who have played this game of snake yeah for those of you who are experienced civilization players get ready to watch some seriously inept world built oh absolutely absolutely okay get ready to watch your civilisation crumble also get ready to watch some horses stand in a circle Oh shoes research all right uh mining sounds too useful in sailing sense pretty great calendars and writing I like these two calendars and writing I don't think any barbarians gonna mess with two guys who know everything about calendars and writing you are crying you were trying to create these but how to see how do you how do you make on June 17th June 17th we're really busy that's my birthday that is my birthday come on Ross focus Oh Calloway see what we have to do riding first if you want to make a calendar because I wouldn't the calendars would be pretty Witek you making a calendar is not our ultimate goal here Ross well no one's gonna talk to you in outer space if you can't tell the time our culture goes my earth time always has always will starting - okay a unit needs orders witness you should explore those ruins yeah what do we get ruins explored all right hey Rosie he found some money yay okay next turn so what do you what are you doing right now I'm I'm exploring trying to find resources while the turns expand my productions and give me new stuff so so right now I've actually got some guys to build [ __ ] I think so you know what just to be safe I'm going to start a yeah well you need to help all those [ __ ] horses that you're oh they're gonna be hungry already an army dude you know your borders dude you know pottery is gonna make you starving that [ __ ] is hard work I say when it like crumbles in on itself no I need a Snickers it's spinning really fast and it just slaps you in that yeah you know what I mean okay what's this Kyoto has grown yeah okay well okay so the red line indicates your territory yeah this is the borders if someone enters that they want to [ __ ] dance and make pottery barbarians come out of their barbaric nature and just sit down and make a good cup we've been doing with this with skulls for years I just covered play let's go next turn okay ruins discovered pony hey okay so basically what you're doing right now is finding ancient civilizations and savaging precious artifact absolutely black gold nickel next turn is there any risk of you getting like attacked by other nations uh good question yes absolutely yeah yeah no question no question I mean we're just gonna have to be really nice about everything and hope that they're the same oh yeah a lot of politics in this yeah oh yeah they show up in a town and be like smart I think these guys can do things yeah I like to research things first before they can do things oops oh sorry sorry everyone who's played civilization I'm sorry okay so what we're gonna do is adopt a policy now and this basically means our governments so do we want tradition America we already is select pie what do we do yeah you can upgrade a little bit okay how much pie do you want let's see apple cobbler please apple cobbler right here do you know what piety means Ross no it's essentially you you're building a religious society a society based on our worship as opposed to like one based on the economy or based on justice like an idea as you notice it later on you unlock rationalism what with with piety I think it was the Renaissance you get you unlock and you yes I you needs orders is it yes these guys need orders can I go across the water the answer is County really also I noticed you can no I guess you can't do it I thought you can make like turns ahead of time but you could I think maybe you can once you have it I'm like waiting for them to give me okay so apparently you was doing really bad whoever he is that's you guys everywhere cool so you have three other nations that are somewhere into vans right nice know John Milton dude yeah my man right there you okay I'm trying to like oh I gotta pick my research now so I guess what we want to do is mining because these guys are kind of useless right now yeah and I think I didn't notice not mine well we're gonna have to build settlers I found an elephant Ross what if he's all the way across the river what you gonna [ __ ] do swim to the elephant oh he did it yeah how about cuz I okay about that option nobody is that ocean ranch of upgrades you can get go die who died because I'll click the [ __ ] out of that okay so so what we know is there are three other countries that are simultaneously building up their cities and there are also barbarians who we just spotted through the cloud barians yeah there there that's an encampment oh did you just like push it yeah they're not worries oops sorry I was moving the wrong communites hey you haven't built any warriors I did there were there there they are okay cool it's just so tiny and small I can't tell okay hold on choose research we want to learn about archery archery definitely yeah we're gonna be fighting I think it's time we move away from the pottery what is this 60s yeah now you can make like flaming pots and tipped arrows oh yeah we can make catapults history now you can throw a wildfire next turn sweet okay you guys go back you were an accident go up there boy put a therapy in ten years mm all right so what do we want a library I think we need a library I think you need to start book and building some guys that can protect our borders okay whoa you're a pottery warrior I hate to be like all like [ __ ] you know [ __ ] debbie downer yeah don't be America about this but like they're definitely coming to take our goons okay [ __ ] should I do you think I can take the barbarians they come and take our good what am I gonna shoot him with these orders I do thing good job all right so these guys let's do this maybe they're friendly barbarians let's find out like a spear some elbow let's say hi hey hey go ahead say hey that didn't go poorly yeah next turn did more damage than they did did they yeah yeah okay Pantheon found okay cool let's kill them good for you they don't know [ __ ] about pottery yeah okay uh those guys up there gonna kill you there's your guys oh [ __ ] I actually was building some warriors I think they'll be up in a minute okay good oh god damn it these guys are gonna hide over here you think they'll be up in a minute words words yeah I know you got like two hours of sleep of goddamn it oh no more barbarians just pick pick fights here yeah just take them out yeah if I kill them I guess I might get to heal myself okay I think that's what happens all right so oh yeah right the border yeah man for king and country your pottery and you're able husbandry is really gonna see yeah well maybe they just want pots who knows okay do you think we should tell them the good we work on our calendar or do you think we should work on the wheel I think maybe we should learn some swordplay drama and poetry what light through yonder window breaks oh it's a barbarian [Laughter] way I guess we showed them who's boss okay look at this heal myself up and when it is take it please yeah I told you we can't attack them did you see those pots craftsman's just too good we were yelling fine poetry across the way at them I make an intimidation more warriors for sure at this point we're warriors for sure okay unit needs orders just uh bro just uh did you do anything yet yeah do a thing yeah you mean run I think that's a thing all right clear out these guys have a thing these warriors we are [ __ ] going down man but they're not even touching you well they deserve that they're like don't wanna be's bring it yeah dude we turn this into a who's going good all right hold on look out for victory okay let's do another one to these points right you please I know this way you lose your dude what about [ __ ] Mel borne comes in your citizens have been happy with your rule of [ __ ] Potter Eden's mass murders not letting these guys get away they're going down and they're surrounded they got nowhere to go not surrounded oh yes it means this and this they're open on like five sides they got a cloud blocking their way there's no way to get through that okay that elephant yeah what are your people like they're running like you're just all right promoter you know I think so you know what you guys get a promotion you get what's this Chuck a drill you got a drill what does that mean I don't know all right so unit needs orders attack why do you want to kill these guys so bad you guys I hate barbarians I'm sorry if you're a barbarian that was means a good job [ __ ] racist yeah Jesus Christ you said some racist things a loss if you're a barbarian Russian cheese production um okay so I think we should make our chairs yes oh let's do it we need to create the most savage army of all time go back up yeah YouTube's animal husbandry with your [ __ ] horses well you know people have needs men why are they clubbing our horses what are you doing submit to be ours we need to learn how to harvest that whale yeah we really do that that's sweet we're JEP oh that probably shouldn't go there in Australia we have problems with the Japanese crossing nor waters and killing our whales it's a big problem okay they they have big boats and when that when people fly over them the boats have on the side of it research look it up true story crazy Wow and people saw with we're gonna play civilization units needs order exactly how Kyoto is formed I know may armory apparently in I think this is like France yeah I think we're in Europe back yeah we're in Euro yeah looks that way yeah let's just keep expanding in every direction and see what happens okay cool okay so we're gonna want to build settlers so we can actually move down to that into that area and we want these guys to start doing things that isn't like clubbing horses for God's sake what unique needs orders okay alright well let's move them closer over to here so they can guard this spot before we get there cuz we're gonna take a few turns to build a settlers I think or unless that's them could that be done I'm not sure unit needs orders okay oh we've already run that way I'm an idiot that's all god it's Europe I know there's nothing up there in your oh come on Rory baby the map is right there I'm sorry okay these guys look important they're the what are they what are they oh there are chargers Oh awesome sweet sweet we're gonna [ __ ] [ __ ] up yeah oh dude this is gonna be [ __ ] awesome so yeah now build some other settlers I guess oh we found it was easy for or after Dooley's 20 fix man yeah after he was what do you think don't glare war no don't tell works on Augustus Caesar yes very established nation so he's called Rome might have heard of it okay so her choices are to denounce him to like basically like get the world against him but the he'll hate us let's try to make a declaration of friendship note several suitors Nura I don't know dumbass bad how dare you yeah well you believe you pissed off Augustus Caesar OOP you basically threatened him and told him not to build I was just asking nicely was pleasing that says no it wasn't you know but I'm winning yeah I'm eating a desta Caesar eat it Augustus people that like to smile the most today yeah because we had pottery great that'll help you win wars how can we beat their armies let's put a la Cruz at the front line he has a charming smile oh dude okay so these guys are on an exploration missions and there's a very small exploration party Ross well we're just making sure that no one's gonna move in on our turf okay one guy and then star [Laughter] berry and me we should tell up here this is exactly where I told you not to settle rocks way up here yeah because that's a land then let's not submerge their warriors right yeah it's very like go yeah and we could get a tech by sea which is really bad identically already owned that land no I've got it down okay I what's the point I've SEP right yeah if it's going on man okay it's a city-state so it's a small thank you better no itit Orioles so this is close close so this is not competing to win the game no we're being friends I guess so think the country that was a lot of it was a lot of emotion Olli no no okay um so what are we go next turn okay so did you just say hit hi to another nation yeah I did I was like what's up no no we didn't say hi we just discovered it yeah they're not mad at us yet we gonna be good declare to protect them they'd like that yeah so they haven't they haven't seen you oh oh no there's another nature that's uh is that I think that Caesar Caesar in trouble he's pissed because you told him to go [ __ ] himself okay let's get lights to move all our turns over there Sonia go attack his people mercilessly yeah well I'm not gonna attack them I just said Donnell field Mira is a good message out to the people well we'll attack if he attacks if he doesn't attack we look tech bad news he's gonna attack next time hey dino-buddies an elephant will save you okay Oh barbarians okay this [ __ ] is gonna get off you should definitely be set like building a new town while all this is going oh well I'm building settlers right now oh are you serious oh he's right here sir he's right there [ __ ] dick you should have attacked him right there then oh my god adopt a new policy family organized religion sure it would be yes all right close though you looked after Jesus same thing which we have calendars any more organized calendars leader dude there's more Julius Caesar yeah here yeah talk to him hey I think we got to them with your weapons I'm just gonna move a little get to the point across I kind of think we're in trouble here thanks man wonder why we're in trouble Ross Oh what maybe because you told Augustus Caesar to [ __ ] himself while building clay pots if you think we could send them like a flower basket yeah I think it's a little late you just got soldiers oh look I'm sorry I'm not there just harvesters okay we need to move okay let's move these guys back over here I can't even get back to my town anymore I'm not even joking what if you have to walk because I have to walk through augustus caesar ah hi I'm literally blocked into this area I can't go that side who the [ __ ] is there's a Warrior's they're just gonna fade them what ya doing you're right like these guys we have no choice set dude and put all your eggs in that basket ball bags if you're gonna go to war dude if you're goin to war then go to war [ __ ] yeah let's do it I mean trading oh boy here we [ __ ] go they asked if you wanted negotiate peace it's no no looking right yeah no he does not want to negotiate peace he wants to negotiate a peace of your head goodbye goodbye he's bald suck it Augustus man he was like so he was like a [ __ ] gentleman about it too yeah dude it would be my pleasure to [ __ ] you up yeah I would be honored to end your life immediately I think we're you know who's not gonna space Augustus me you oh man this is getting real everyone there's a good chance that this may be the shortest game of civilization that was a bad call on the hood oh I didn't know if you said please don't bill nerd me that that would be mean dude it's too late we're at war you gotta send everybody okay guys do you think you made your decision oh Jesus he does have soldiers uh guys can you get out like only a couple well he's in trouble cuz we got a bunch o take Judy took them three dudes oh [ __ ] for him what bro what is that oh good drum and poetry now they're in trouble you've built this [ __ ] state well hello there's a quote from Alfred Hitchcock Alfred who mm-hm yeah that guy who won't be born for another 17,000 years I'm sorry I'm not very good with history yeah [Laughter] let's sneak up behind them the guy who won't be born for time there's research out in time okay Braun's working sure that would make making for a good sword on oh because we're at war we can we can move through his territory yeah no [ __ ] oh cool all right so we might have the ability to the more we can hit them with sword wait a minute brandish them okay apparently buildings can shoot arrows that's the town bro what we're thinning their numbers they won't be long before they're in real trouble yeah but before our army of sweepers man oh we got settlers send our oxen oh my god let's put it up here No where do you want to put them they're like sex that already owned that territory yeah too late it's too late production okay what should I make more soldiers this is like a tutorial and how not to play save five yeah I mean the closest thing I had before this was Settlers of Catan which is really fun oh it's it's I'm kind of getting like yourself or that yeah I'm not bad actually okay so next turn next turn okay oh yeah come on come on come on oh man they're just sleeping they're good we're gonna get the more soldiers from dude I don't know just keep sending waves we had guys down here what happened to them they died yeah they died yeah there's some over there on the left oh [ __ ] are they doing there I don't know standing yeah admiring the lake Jesus Ross you want me to put them near town near the soldiers you want me to settle you settle up here because we got look you already [ __ ] them all under that no I don't is prime real estate it's good there's gonna be a Starbucks there next week this is like what like 2006 this is a disaster ads whatever unit needs orders have you ever have you ever played go well go [ __ ] yourself you're surrounding a territory you practically owned that turd right right so you might as well not waste your time by trying to capture that yeah oh good they're reinforcements are showing up okay Wow next time we're gonna [ __ ] your elephant up dude yeah just go for the town dude I'm getting targets that OH they generally require four or more units to capture is it snow I think we didn't know we didn't it's real fire yeah it's merely on fire I think I think I think everything's gonna be okay Ross you are so good sorry Kyoto we do that we'll go ahead and settle in that useless piece of land okay two guys yeah no problem I want to attack anyway now you'll really have the advantage at that backyard of yours Wow runs working yeah wouldn't they want to destroy us maybe maybe Augustus has like a sense of nobility no I would clearly destroy you so I'm just nodding I think it's the opposite I think it's ed since it takes like four or more units to take over a city I think he's just smart how do you research that wait what kind of calendar do I need to write [Laughter] you think we should invent the wheel I think most cavemen have that I think you need more iron working I think we're gonna pour everything into armies right now yeah you're probably right because you have to very thinly spread bounds good enemy forces walking straight through your territory like it's not bit of a problem you send your Squire to the town and they're like we need warriors quickly and then this guy's like I've got four pots full of water Larry knows what time it is he hasn't roughly down to the month okay I got a unit needs orders roque oh don't fight make crops okay you can can you crop up some soldiers okay next turn good please wait oh man oh man okay look you go protect hosaka yes sir Oh what are these guys are these soldiers yeah nothing wallet registers I thought I made soldiers yeah all right well maybe we can like mine over okay more warriors you think our archers which one which one which one warriors warriors yeah warriors this teaches you the value of diplomacy yeah seriously - members of your army let's protect these cattle next turn but it you slaughtered them for food to feed your to remain well if I read them I will have wait there two cows that doesn't work ok you know these are built soldiers yet I did they're building right now in a few turns I'll have soldiers and iron real [ __ ] is good guy okay unit needs orders up I remember here I guess it's like damage checkers where nobody's winning oh except everybody annulled I'll tell you know building beating Augustus so don't matter people like so many things the most great Wow it's gonna be like war zero yeah meanwhile there's a barbarian battleship nearing your [ __ ] shores [ __ ] I think we need a monument to our suck writers guild build a monument monuments actually like do a lot of good things I can't people happy yeah they make people happy they open up a lot of stuff in the game I can't remember what exactly I just remember my friend telling me you didn't these orders uh kill the boat ok yeah good great well your last remaining men go ahead and let me die fruitlessly Steve ten go take that battle show I gotta go my god oh my god now you've got it captain I didn't think I was going to die today but okay but guys do you have any Red Star Trek shirts we could win oh you know needs orders all right let's uh like do anything with these guys yet no I'm pretty sure you can do things with them every turn you just telling what is your plan I don't know I'm like so scared by Augustus right now I'm trying not to show people will think I'm a baby serious Oh Howie let us return to peace Oh peace treaty yes accept it accept accept very well Oh Gustus you're the best you're awesome you know he's just gonna [ __ ] kill us I don't trust him at that as far as their own we declared war on him I didn't declare war declared peace to make a walk through a Myrtle I really no no we can't I don't think we can we haven't we haven't we have to say we can protect him unless maybe we can I've tried I believe walking past someone's borders is an act of war yeah yeah unless you've you've sworn to protect them yeah which I believe is a good thing okay so these guys we probably want them to do a thing so build improvements automated we're in 1,000 BC right now this was not the time where you could let go into someone else's town and be like hey let's be cool with each other and share like [ __ ] situations that we've learned this was definitely the time where you murdered someone for growing up ten miles hey I'm just visiting from California hey guys murder okay visit all right do a thing yeah when your warriors gonna show and they they right there are they I had where they go cuz I don't see I just I saw lifeless I got worried right there oh cool next turn send them somewhere what do you want oh I would oh my god is trying to take you over through peaceful what do you think I say refuse [ __ ] him no I don't know he's really scary damn woman okay let's okay let's do rock-paper-scissors okay one Paper Scissors shoot I know one one shoot I win you win I'll write up great [ __ ] you yeah you know what we'll do my balls in your face okay that's Ted and Steve super back to town now them a coproduction more Ted and Steve's or do you want a great library around the writers guild nuts just building an embassy in your town what do you think he's interested in your pottery probably what's a caravan tea I don't know probably a caravan for your car it said what it does before you click trouble I'm not gonna read these things what do you think what am I trying to do win Oh sucka has grown that's good that's awesome good okay Ted and Steve that'll be more buildings to be [ __ ] sacked yeah yeah Ted and Steve we're gonna go on an adventure and the rest of the the motley crew are gonna go this way oh I found a ruin ruins of an ancient civilization are there alien laser guns that was your home stable Osaka can fire upon an enemy that would be that would be affecting to find directly let's see okay ruins explored what I get discovered in the ruins advanced technology my laser gun nice Oh what's this that's a scientific advancement oh really too bad you guys are all about religion yeah I know right nice [ __ ] nation-building they trick you with pie and then they make you believe douchebag okay where am I going okay shoes research what should I do calendars we've been to be a long time coming guys our optics optics like my lands units to embark on two water tiles interesting and travel the ocean swimming I think that's a little bit beyond what we can do right now I kind of think the wheel might be a good start yes let's go for the wheelchair you darker that's cool yeah that is cool okay things can happen when a wheel invented oh absolutely okay so shall we smooth Ted and Steve on another wild adventure do it all right the motley crue where you going you're going over here yeah be sure to send our larva warriors as far from our borders it's not like Ted and Steve can save the day don't worry an MIT player has okay okay well weights met a player there I should public and say hi that could be we're cool we're cool we're cool now super cool the [ __ ] embassy in our goddamn town what water under the bridge which they invented the most impressive monument is to Augustus yeah oh [ __ ] okay um all right so what do you think more warriors Herman let's get some spearmen spearmen sound good cool unit needs orders Ted and Steve do you think oh we found it Vatican City oh [ __ ] well we're gonna be cool these guys cuz we're all he gave us against what they give us yeah religious rituals give me cool and yeah all right should we go talk to Augustus yeah I think you should talk to Vatican City because we're religious nation so they'll be like way into us I think oh yeah you probably right okay um unit needs orders oh we got a new unit we got a camp where's that camel yeah oh are you serious we got a camel market yeah a Japanese camel launcher when in Rome literally in roaches next door apparently a Japanese guy riding a camel uh you know wait orders you got looking unit these orders oh it's these guys you gotta check out those things on the right oh yeah okay do an automated improvement and then what's this barbarian encampments had to be discovered okay how close is that to Ted and Steve pretty far pretty far Ted and Steve kinda have to go through the Vatican okay and then check the exclamation point 100 exclamation point is that a consider cool dude give a gift yeah get my gift too expensive give gift II unit of lieutenant Steve yes cool teddy Steve continue really gonna be priests father Ted you know oh my god you [ __ ] sold them I just still tend to Steve the slavery slavery did not consider oh yeah I guess they wouldn't they wouldn't do that they were already warrior slaves this is true and now they're slaves okay so Kyoto what is that camel movable a unit needs orders i okay i'm clicking unit needs orders nothing's there you go but nothing okay hold on hold on my buddies and unit needs orders Bob all right yeah unit needs orders yeah we need to go [ __ ] up that barbarian okay you know what do nothing thanks okay cool not just turn okay next check please white your most powerful unit is sitting uselessly yeah we got the wheel we got the wheels I don't mean no camels no more adopt policy you would still need camels to pull the are you see temple cities called output like you invented the gasoline motor religious Taliban citizens with large okay and what's the other one Oh what's the one we're ultimately working towards Reformation and then probably we could adopt in you on Oh hatred is do you want to get patronage city-state friendship oh yeah opting us yeah because the Vatican City is now our boys yes probably go to ideology interesting well we're gonna get there okay so we've got more okay choose research nice masonry optics mathematics what do you guys think what are you guys not calendar cuz [ __ ] you yes seriously let's do mathematics good things can come from yeah good comes from math your military advisor recommended that oh absolutely methods Matt you can kill people another thing my friend said this game is very good at recommending the right move for you where do they do that that when you were looking at them did you see the little shield did your friend tell me what camels can't walk Oh God that might not be the unit that needs orders oh maybe they stay there just be a camel no it's the unit that needs orders is literally oh no he can't move anywhere so don't move maybe you need to put wheels on him oh it's stable establish trade route oh I'm a dingus oh he's easy Oh master first times for everything okay so let's swap with the Vatican Vatican School our bro should we do a Vatican yeah yeah we have look how much money he has okay let's do it with uh with Roman yeah he tried to destroy well yes that was there was literally yeah yeah okay let's do minutes ago yes Stew's minute a minute in civilization is like how long it's actually been 300 years Oh water yeah you see up in the brain corner its 720 BC at the moment like one of your trader guys is one of the guys that like [ __ ] destroyed life just shows up like I bring bring the corpses of your relatives [ __ ] what's this it looks like a bored or dead yeah that's somebody else's border oh let's go check it out how about not yeah what a terrible idea we want to meet them and become friends that by invading their borders look what a friendly you as interpreted to meet oh we're in Tunisia oh I hope your intentions are noble they note one of course do declare war god damn okay sure what do you say it leaves me mean to us no no no okay should we discuss I this gun senses are noble shall we make a joint declaration of friendship yes sorry don't okay sorry sorry god damn it okay good bye good bye good bye put a shirt on fine put a [ __ ] shirt on there did you say nothing good next where's your biggest export well you're in luck is our biggest export of shirts are you the leader always dramatically standing out in the middle of no way oh my goodness okay going so should we do I think we need more Archer yeah badass yeah it does bring him out when she was production I thought you already did that no that was the trade route I did choose production okay so Sokka what are you gonna what you gonna do what you gonna do oh wait this right here okay so once we go a cargo ship unless it's not a been 34 turn yeah yeah well it's long turn call what barracks it works I think build another monument the check out with monuments do the monument increases the culture of a city speeding the growth of the city's territory and the civilization acquisition of social policies I think I think that's a good investment for thirteen turns oh yeah it's a lot of [ __ ] all right so this guy let's move on there's barbarians over here Aryan there okay these guys are what are they chariot their own team other soldiers a little computing tools that can kill people okay let's let's move over here and take on god you're so far from Kyoto yeah you'd need to fight those barbarians man cuz they're gonna fight you yeah well they're pretty far away and you know what yes and I like the way they they talk next turn what consider changing embassies okay I like this guy we could teach them about shirts yes very well cool okay you can teach us how to make our ears look like that one's a trade route oh he wants a trade route yeah I Fizz the one to the left that was a city-state the first thing we discovered right build a trade rap with them how do we do that we've got to build a caravan don't we build it with I did it before I think I built a caravan Hey look there we go cool mathematics neat they learned it one plus one equals two murder these my babies I'll get through this game without killing anybody yes you can yeah yeah you can picard the whole way through this you can yeah you can win just uh what do you want currency absurd gold guy don't know every creases amount of gold the city generates yeah that sounds good yeah pottery is expensive now murder these fellows shall we yes you do it yeah I think you're in good shape yeah I think I'm in good shape too yeah everything seems been coming together once the Gus's Caesar started being a [ __ ] dick it's not right guys these orders are you missing orders all right so where should we move these guys can I move them up to the I think send them up into that unexplored territory which is right right oh yeah yeah okay let's what about down here is that a part of the map yeah that's a well unexplored territory let's let's start them over there okay okay um next-gen set a new trade route your girlfriend I don't know maybe your new camera did I get a new camel that was that your base congratulations and Mazel Tov yeah no the camels coming back and forward I think look at the little bunny rabbit let me go to this bunny rabbit that's great wait Oh next turn okay be friends with Jude yeah you [ __ ] him up that's the bunny rabbits shirtless guy okay Adam man his intentions are noble you should kill those seagulls [ __ ] them oh yeah see them I'm just tired seagulls [ __ ] oh there's a state up there okay oh is that should settle right - [ __ ] there yeah oh and then throw at them you can't the well must well fit people ganja Matta the guy was he where sure I was probably wearing missiles money through the unmet player that's who's up there okay okay cool should we go meet him can you cross that River oh yes oh oh sherry huge enormous they're like as big as a city they send them in the other direction hey which way send them left what's that thing you sure there's a little what thing the ability there's like this thing behind you know it's like a mine oh yeah yeah I know I built a man you my way time know is it I actually think I invested in mining Oney I mean let's know you probably write it from the monument okay okay what's this here arranged attack Oh who's attacking oh the boat oh yeah Shem should know this is your goal range archers they can they can deal with this whoa damn they're fierce it's awful amazing units they do you see how far they go yeah those are giant horses yeah dude it's like half the size of your city because the boat okay I get to by choose a produc okay she's a production what do you think we should get more chariot archers they're pretty sweet yep do it promote a unit oh these guys let's give them their health back yeah mister now they can go and it can negotiate happiness mmm-hmm okay let's do this Oh God barbarians well I'm glad we healed that would be a problem Oh actually the boat wellthen left when it started the Chariots of Fire okay good all right okay powerful actually should I go over here yes you're helping these guys take them out I bet you'll bet that big returns though guys all the way in Asia okay uh-oh it's a city steam go Oh neato okay cool they gave you 30 gold thanks guys yeah no wait what did it say if you wish to speak to me Gonza yeah just said though you'll probably contact us you'll give us a call there are nine being bent the phone Ross stop clicking off this shit's I'm sorry but we want to make this go fast because this is the fast kind of life we live yeah all right um there's a kind of kind of high-octane civilization building we want yeah alright next turn do it do it do it okay hey barbarians what up barbarian that's not good Jesus Matt let me ask you a question all right send your horses towards them I guess yeah they probably need help okay let's let's go I think I already gave them a full full range of commands okay so she's a production of tonight did I give them a move yeah I know I see that but I'm just trying to see did they get their turn yeah they did okay choose production okay choose the doctor to production what do you wanna play we should get a set let's get a building going George won but wait check out the great light the happy theater is that where they like show off amputees no that's you [ __ ] watch shows and all the times theater and stuff but great luck check out a great library I'll see you in that days was it a toss oh I thought you wanted me do it okay okay oh cool all right let's do this okay we're kind of outnumbered well let's do it do it we're done yeah this could be close actually well you know what we might luck out here let's see if we can get these guys over here in time go go go horse and buggies so these guys are also waiting for the same order dude [ __ ] augustus caesar just oh yeah are you serious Horace P we need more settlers okay next time we're making set ladies cuz this is [ __ ] everybody moving up in our grill I do have a tiny area yeah and they're locking us in to kill us yeah great oh it's Ted and Steve again in spirit Ross do you remember what I told you many many moons ago what about settling around you and not want to attack anyway I'm not a [ __ ] okay cool go guys yeah yeah oh dude he did not go down without a fight that was awesome dude those barians just died no no weed they they disappear when there's no uh no units in the area oh well they're in trouble now because guess what nuke crew is here to kill their to salt a three sorry you're just a nation of vengeance yes and pottery we are um Budapest we're okay I think we're it's a bugger to return see cool okay cool that's Budapest okay all right cool I guess we're cool with them but if there's this there's a city-state they can't like expand dan do you know nope alright I don't know if they're a city-state they're not trying to win the game so yeah they're just kind of there they're just chillin yeah you can trade with them and stuff and blah blah blah okay so let's have a look-see so you're not like completely incentivized to just take them no no no no um alright so what should we make which we make what you mean Eric's yeah I like the sound of barracks it sounds [ __ ] sweet alright choose research trapping would let us allows workers to construct camps on source yeah there you go yeah that sounds good yeah yes do it is there elephants around and stuff yeah yeah that's that's great we they're beautiful elephants weak that we could be murdering for their ivory wait what are the oh there there's that's bad I can see they're cool with their your bro their bros their bros to the core have you have you like done a treaty with them yet or uh yes actually you know what I don't think I have let's go there and like Stephen Hawking the protection they're probably well protected yeah oh actually you know what I think their workers are [ __ ] doing work they have soldiers in their own town they'd have done it right just kinda like a penis there it looks like a big dick schlong yeah it does and you're the balls yeah you're the horse drawn balls carriage hmm give me a piece of that character um okay where the [ __ ] am I okay so cute it needs all right well let's move towards the barbarians and [ __ ] them up wait so you can't talk to him with the horses maybe it was because horses can't talk yeah we have to research we have to put more on animal husbandry before they can talk um hello just pick up a box okay waiting are those your spearmen yes Oh awesome oh my God we're getting surrounded but we're okay oh you're good come on Steve get with the program eat a several dick yay whoa oh dude these guys Rock come on man the crap they just plow chariot archers all right hop in this watch is playing right at their feet guilds yeah horseback riding that sounds [ __ ] awesome yeah do it she'll do it yeah it sounds lovely why are why are we not settling new countries you know because we're so busy in war in pottery um okay so oh hello pyramids oh go they're gonna Tek barbarians they need help they do all of them well that's is that that's not my unit there is it not no those are yours dudes you're serious yeah Kellan oh dude I'm sorry let's help them oh they got a whole camp there dude you're [ __ ] yeah we're good we're winning yeah but there's a camper in excu well that's fine cuz I got this where was that closer where was that that's there it's way the [ __ ] down no dude I can get there with my every kind of mountain range I can get there hold on is there any way I can get there oh Jesus did you see that yeah that was a long path yeah we need they need menu help it's fine let's let's expand engineer that they need help they need help they might have beautiful women yeah there might be hotties there he's got to get there quick oh yeah yeah good going Budapest yeah you're the boot adopt a policy doctor policy all right so we're patronage let's see what we do us LuAnn through the lamp repeat ok golds city-states that's not what we need right now I don't think resting point for our purple influence with all city-states it way risk which one I don't know eeny meeny miny moe aah drainage by the toe yes way to adapt to surgical policy using the sacred buckets I don't know he's been to Congress before yeah but you might mode all the time yeah I guess the Caesar he knew many men Kumai ok guns a-blazing yeah how about you just go judge acts as a choppin that's an option well my guys will be here soon they I think they're buddies with Budapest you know inside the city states walls this is a clear well not all right we're friends then oh I have desires gems good for you I eat a dick I want y'all ride no cool cool everyone's like killing themselves nice like we guys guys guys guys simply just like stop we desire okay we pledge protection too close let's get out of that do you think these are the hard decisions that leaders were making back in the way guys would you like to ally with life my king [ __ ] those dudes Jesus mother boss from there dudes like diesel let's go up look Jim this is a lot of stuff to read right bye yes you're encyclopedia my lunch oh cool a thing yeah okay let's keep meanwhile meanwhile in a struggle for the death oh you might win this actually yeah yeah oh oh good yeah we got we got the boys let's oh [ __ ] well it doesn't matter kazakh can fire upon an enemy i guess that means the sock is under attack wait really yep a sock isn't under attack check up their upper vote you'd be just a [ __ ] boat it's a boat with guns aimed at is now it's a battleship carrying an army of savage brutality what do i do we have some units in my town should not even here's an idea fit it yes yes Ross okay let's move in units back to that town or build the units in town I'm not doing that did you do a road I have yes it built a road between two that's really nice that's neat isn't it kind of lovely for all the cars that you don't have yeah we invented the wheel so we're good Oh so if you wanted to roll a wheel down the road you could do it's quite the pastime it's 40 ad guys it just flipped from BC day really yeah wouldn't get TVs soon oh good yeah Jesus happened also ad well Jesus died 40 years ago is it he was around zero I believe I don't know wait I heard ad doesn't actually mean after death I just taught my whole childhood that I Ament after death right I thought but then my I talked to my dad he's like who taught you that I was just like the school and they're always like it's [ __ ] stupid why are you sorry they're going away from the war I know Domini cuz I want it yeah that's it yeah yeah yeah that's right yeah when it's Latin my dad can speak Latin or could nice hmm Ross there's an army they put you on wait which one to the right to the right right right there oh you oh oh I thought they were the oh god I'm sorry I'm sorry I wasn't thinking straight I had pee pee in my pants you're killing our unit what you had pee pee in your pants oh my god yeah this couch is getting a little squishy you know dude [ __ ] Jakarta Jakarta are you gonna are you gonna hang out with him yeah maybe okay what should I do a service a party Guild's calendars guys we go boom done unit needs orders Calendar does only take one terms okay send them boxes are so adorable yeah pretty cute yes I can yes a bar bear cans [ __ ] him up oh [ __ ] I think that was the bar bear can see you initially so this is there's only one guy a showman's boss yeah well there's four guys what where [ __ ] them up wait as well oh hi I'll do the [ __ ] jerk hardens Ashley thank oh do it too but bend over you okay yeah okay the Great Library one free technology technology dude that's great choose free tech okay let's look at these stone works pyramids optics yeah I don't even know what that is yeah artists skill yeah I think that's know did you go with the pyramids me yeah definite you can do it how about you go die build that I don't think that's a technology build it okay where is it I lost it top one no that's calendars do you want calendars do it what you said pyramids a second ago where's pyramid I thought I saw pyramids did you guys see pyramids I believe it's one of the wait where there's a good list of things they can do which is this one which would be masonary masonary it's the point 120 100 that was Assam all right so he'll the unit oh yeah does he ever he doesn't have it yet okay LC its Budapest gonna be like hey you save this why they're probably at really happy Oh horseman we can ride horses now do you I win bye bye guys are animal husbandry paid off you wanna have some horsemen yeah okay let's do it do it you need deserters horse man goat just [ __ ] sneakin yeah do you just they're just checking it out we're in attack range do it oh wait yeah we can actually attack with the buildings yes oh so I got like this oh cool alright so we were gonna we're all gonna die we're gonna send units back right oh my is [ __ ] stretching out dude kumbaya my lord where is it you need to settle like up and right up and right though you need to like get that area yeah okay okay so should I move some units back to town let's do that guess unit needs order next turn settlers oh [ __ ] I forgot about this battle yeah do Oh God we're surrounded is there anyone nearby that could help your cavalry that you just sent back in the other direction oops you are important just yeah get those [ __ ] animals you have that trap you know like I need you can just settle right where those deer or I'll let me just fight these guys first okay or a we're surrounded we probably I'm gonna win that fight but probably not yeah we're in trouble okay okay all right all this lone ranger girls gonna go he's gonna he's gonna go on a journey and your horses to help your units man up there yes all I'm gonna send him up there that's the best the dick to be here right here here your knees you're gonna send that one warrior there oh yeah why not because everyone will be dead by the time he gets there we'll be dead well we're gonna send these guys as well okay just standing yeah I love that what you just like on a throne or like a giant megaphone and just like getting a phone call come on Ross Jesus is trying to build a nation to lead the way you're in it yeah do it promote that one guy okay good job he promoted that one guy but he feels really good about himself next time on steam train if the quest for world conquest continues I'm gonna have a good time with that one yeah oh I'm supposed to say something

Channel: GameGrumps

Views: 2,138,887

Rating: 4.8140168 out of 5

Keywords: walkthrough, gameplay, danny, funny, ross, brave new world, civilization v, lets, steam train, strategy, egoraptor, train, play, steam

Id: wLLJ4EZwaNc

Length: 62min 28sec (3748 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 09 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

I hope Train Robbery becomes sort of a monthly/bi-monthly thing.

[u/Gahlit]

EgoBandito is a flair we must have. MUST. HAVE.

[u/RubberNinja]

Once again, I want to apologize to the actual CIV players. I'm absolutely awful at this game. Everything I knew from this play through I taught myself the night before.. I feel I barely scratched the surface. Fun though!

[u/Lawdee]

Well, I was wrong with my steam train versus.

But holy shit if this isn't special and amazing. FUCKING ARIN ON STEAM TRAIN

Edit: Just finished watching it. Is rly good, alright enough with that joke. But it really was amazing and funny but also infuriating at some times as they let their town get attacked without checking the messages, and I've never even played Civ V. I can't imagine what skilled players are going through right now.

[u/AceFaith]

Holy crap.

Arin?

On my Steam Train?

ON A ONE HOUR EPISODE?!

YEAH!!!

[u/facultystaff]

Danny: It says what it does before you clicked on the..

Ross: Well I'm not going to READ these things!

Good to see steam train abiding by the rules of classic game grumping.

[u/cristiangp]

Steam Train with Arin? New Intro? 1 FUCKING HOUR?!?! Is this Christmas?!

[u/Rezuaq]

O

[u/MitchKoobski]

12 minutes in. Please let one of them realise that the workers can auto-build if you set them to!

Edit: They figured it out! And are alternating between the two and.....DRAMA AND POETRY!?