-This Mother's Day, don't give
mom that bottle of perfume. Give her something that says,
"I'm not a woman anymore. I'm a mom." Are you looking for the perfect
gift for mom this Mother's Day? Introducing Mom Jeans,
exclusively at JCPenney. -♪ Mom Jeans ♪ ♪ Mom Jeans ♪ -Mom Jeans fit mom
just the way she likes it. She'll love the 9-inch zipper
and casual front pleats. Cut generously
to fit a mom's body. She'll want to wear them
to everything, from a soccer game
to a night on the town. And with your choice
of ankle-length, capri-length, or shorts, you'll find the perfect jean for
even the least active of moms. -♪ Put on your Mom Jeans ♪ -So this Mother's Day, don't
give mom that bottle of perfume. Give her something that says,
"I'm not a woman anymore. I'm a mom." -♪ When you've given up ♪ ♪ Given up ♪ ♪ Put on your Mom Jeans ♪ -Get a free appliqué Mom Jeans
vest with every purchase this weekend at JCPenney. -It's Mother's Day. And there's no better way
to express your feelings than Hallmark. Because every mother is special. But your mother
is most special of all. Because it's you in a dress. Introducing the Hallmark
"Mother" Collection... for weirdos. Because you're not
just a good son... you're also a wonderful mother. So show yourself you care. Because your mother
will never leave you as long as you keep dressing
like her and talking like her... -Aaaah! [ Sobbing ] -...and being a good boy. Because you're crazy
about mother. The Hallmark
"Mother" Collection. Available this Mother's Day. -Flowers are nature's
most beautiful gift. So this Mother's Day, I'm gonna
show my mom how much I care with a little help
from 1-800-Flowers. Happy Mother's Day, Mom! -Oh, honey, I love these.
Thank you. -The gift that's as wonderful
as she is. -But maybe you should keep them
'cause your apartment is so sad. -Because my mom
means everything to me. And I love everything about her. -Excuse me?
-Yeah? -Are there nuts in this? -There are never nuts
in eggs Benedict. You don't have to ask that
every time. -Well, I'm sorry for
double-checking, Kathleen. -You're not even allergic.
Nothing would happen. -I'd barf on my plate
is what would happen. -I guess you could say
she's my favorite person in the whole entire world. You know that mattress store
downtown? Mattress Factory?
-No. -Mattress Warehouse?
-No. -The owner hanged himself.
-Mom. She's my role model,
my best friend, and everything
I hope I'll be one day. -I can't find my debit card. I think my identity's
been thieved. -I'm sleeping!
-Representative. -Why are you up?! -Representative! 2-4-5 -- -[ Screams ] So this Mother's Day,
I'm turning to 1-800-Flowers to help thank my mom
for all the amazing times. -Hey, what's the latest
with that LeAnn Rimes girl? -I have no idea. -What a saga that is.
Geez. -And, above all, how open and
honest we are with each other. -Last week, your father and I
watched a porno. -Why would you share that
with me?! So call or click today and make this a Mother's Day
she won't ever forget. -Still can't find my debit card! -Mom, I am doing a commercial! -Gonna double-check
inside this guy. God, I wish I was a lesbian so
I didn't have to carry a purse. Where are you going? Honey, it's your commercial. I didn't mean to interrupt. Come back! Come back! -1-800-Flowers. And buckle up,
'cause Father's Day is next. -Kathleen,
it was an Asian porno. -Dad! -This Mother's Day, why not show
mom just how special she is by surprising her with
one of millions of gifts from amazon.com? -Alright, let's be quiet. Mom has no idea we're bringing
her breakfast in bed, okay? Shh, shh, shh! -Which means
there's a million ways to give your mother a surprise
she'll never forget. -Happy Mother's Day! -What are you doing?
Get out! -"Fifty Shades of Grey." Isn't that that sex book? -What? No.
Go outside. -Look, a microphone. ♪ Mommy ♪ -[ Chuckles ] -Because with Amazon, a million surprises for mom
are just a click away. -Surprise! -Get the [bleep] out of here! -Is that "Fifty Shades of Grey"? -No, i-it's a cookbook. -Mom, we got you bath stuff. -I see that, Jonah.
Thank you. You can just put it down
over there. -On amazon.com, mommy surprises
come in all sizes. -Mom, happy Mother's D-- -Oh, "Fifty Shades of Grey"? -Get out. -Is that Joel McHale? -No, it's your dad.
Get out! -So this Mother's Day,
go to amazon.com and get mom
what she really wants -- "Fifty Shades of Grey"
on Kindle. -Alright, come on.
Get next to the kids. I want to get a picture.
Ready? 1, 2... [ Camera beeps, clicks ] Yay! Oh, honey,
you're not smiling. -The Kindle
What are you reading, Mom? We'll never know.
