SML Movie Jeffy's 16th Birthday!

so guys what do you want to do today I don't know Joseph is that your stomach oh yeah dude my bad I haven't eaten in 3 days you should like eat something yeah well not everybody has money like you Cody and I haven't seen any road kill I miss pawsum I love pum ooh dead Possum's my favorite well how about we go to McDonald's and get Happy Meals but Junior we don't have money for Happy Meals well guess who found somebody's wallet on the side of the road and took money out of it bus yeah and I returned the wallet back to the person so I took the money out cuz that's my fee for finding it right sure yeah yeah I mean I could have just not returned the wallet yeah you could have returned the 20 too well no the money is my fee for finding it but look let's go get McDonald's yeah hey welcome to McDonald's what can I get you uh can we get three Happy Meals yeah sure let me just ring that up what oh my God oh my God what you're the one trillionth person to come into a McDonald's ever are you serious no dude yeah that means you get a oneyear supply of McDonald's for free free really yeah what do you want oh okay can I get four large fries and can I get a Big Mac guys check out all this McDonald's isn't it awesome Junior I think it's really cool that you won a year supply of McDonald's and I understand why you got the 10piece Nuggets to celebrate but did you really need four large fries three Happy Meals two apple pies and a Big Mac with extra cheese that was beautiful Cody thank you but yes I do need all this food because I want a GE Supply McDonald's I got to use it okay can we have our Happy Meals now yeah dude wa no no guys you eat those H meals what dude I haven't eaten in 3 days yeah why can't we eat them because guys it says in the fine print that I can't share any of the McDonald's that I just won what what are you talking about Junior there's no fine print you didn't sign anything but what if that is a rule like what if they see me sharing my McDonald's and they're like it's supposed to be for him not anyone else and they take it away from me Junior I don't think they mind if you share I don't think they expect you to eat all this by yourself I just don't want to risk it guys I don't want to lose like a Year's worth of McDonald's so look just go get some more McDonald's by yourselves but we don't have any money okay look look take this guy wallet that I found and take some money out of it and go get some food wait you said you returned the wallet I lied okay fine we're going to take this wallet and we're going to get some food and then we're going to return the wallet okay fine yeah cuz all this McDonald's is for me and and I'm the one who want it so it's meant for me oh man what do I want first the Big Mac or the nuggets the apple pies or the fries or the have meal I do all of it Junior get up it's time for your first day of school junior junior where are you oo a chicken nugget don't touch that chicken nugget Junior where are you that's my last chicken nugget don't touch it Junior you're fat what happened I W A year Supply McDonald's and I've been eating it every day for a month oh okay that makes sense that's why I haven't seen you downstairs for a month uh-huh so can you please just toss that chicken nugget in my mouth I'm not tossing that chicken nugget in your mouth it's time for you to get ready for school just please just toss it right here in my mouth look here here fatty hey it didn't go in my mouth well come on it's time for you to get ready for school oh can you at least order me a Happy Meal for school no no I'm not ordering you a Happy Meal come on free my apple pie you [ __ ] come on fatty Jesus Christ Junior your belly sticking out like your Winnie the Poo hey your mom's Winnie the Poo no Junior I don't think you're allowed to make fat jokes anymore yeah dude I can't believe you let yourself go hey hey let me let me roll over so I can yell at you you win a Year's word at McDonald's and say you're not going to eat it for breakfast lunch and dinner and maybe a night snack yeah I can't lie I I would yeah can someone pass me my Happy Meal Junior it's right next to you well I can someone open it and put it in my mouth I wish we weren't talking about happy meal then I'd be down all right craft I know you all had a wrong and boring summer and you couldn't wait to get back to school yeah I miss school so much I love it here school school who loves School Cody loves School God I hate you Cody yeah Cody I hate you so much you're such a nerd I'm going to flip your desk do you need some help no I got it hold on hold I just need a Diet Coke are you sure did you flip the desk yourself nerd here me go nerd yeah so for the first day of school we're going to go around the crft and you all are going to say what you did over the saw but now repeat you could go first o well this summer I went to summer camp and I got first place in the talent show I made best friend bracelets with all of my BFFs we went roller skating and water skiing and jump rope oh brother someone take this girl's mouth away shut up Junior I also woke up this morning with a pimple on my face and I tried putting ointment on it but it's still there hey guys her name should be pimp pipy look at that big fat pimple on her face I don't think someone who looks like you should be using the word fat I I I don't think someone as ugly as you should should be so ugly but look who look where we're at you're fat wow paneria sounds like you had a very eventful summer Cody what did you do over the summer well this summer me and my boyfriend Ken went Junior are you putting French fries on your hamburger are you putting French fries on your hamburger yes Cody I'm putting French fries on my hamburger cuz I'm American and I can do that and for the record I got my hamburger without cheese okay so I'm trying to lose weight okay well anyway like I was saying and my all right thanks for sharing Cody now who wants to go next I I I wasn't finished H tell me what you did over the summer Junior oh uh I I won a year Supply McDonald's so I've been pretty much just eating that Junior if you keep eating like this you're going to get diabetes oh Junior you are truly a fat ass come up to the board let me talk to you about something uh do you mind if you come to me cuz I don't think I can walk up there Junior just get to the front of the crass okay Mike take me a few minutes oh God I'm almost there okay what you need to talk to me about have you ever considered sumo wrestling what what's sumo wrestling well it's when two big fat guys wear diapers and then they fight each other that sounds gross it is hilarious but someone as fat as you will be good at it listen I have an arch nemesis back in China and he a sumo wrestler he is fat and I think that you shall fight him and if you fight him and win then you get no homework for the rest of the year but the school year just started exactly that's a deal I want to do it I don't want I don't want homework for the rest of the year okay then go home and start eating your real piggy okay I'll be home to train you soon add some more french fries and a cheeseburger on top Jesus Christ Junior I mean nice cans but why aren't you wearing clothes and also what is this cheeseburger Mountain cheeseburger Mountain Junior just because you have a year supply of McDonald's doesn't mean you have to make cheeseburger mountain look Cody I'm the one with the year supply of food from McDonald's so if I want to make cheeseburger Mountain I can make cheeseburger mountain and the reason why I'm not wearing clothes is I spilled ketchup on my shirt and shorts and I took them off and the only thing I had to wear was this loin cloth thing okay fine Junior whatever I just came over cuz I wanted to know what the teacher wanted earlier like did he want to make a deal with you or something where you'd like do stuff for him to get an A cuz I mean if that's the case I'll do it I'll take one for the team I don't mind no he just wanted me to eat more so I can get fatter he wants me to be a sumo wrestler a sumo wrestler yeah he wants me to fight like one of his enemies that's a sumo wrestler or something what oh no Junior it's not woi big is it who's woi big woi big is the most dangerous sumo wrestler in the world he's a 10 ton 10 time Champion one time he even killed a man by sitting on his face really yeah I have the video and I I watch watch it like all the time and I even save the time Stamper when it happens oh well I don't know who I'm fighting but I don't think it's wo he big but no the teacher said if I beat the guy he won't make me do you homework for the whole school year dope yeah that's really cool yeah I think that's a teacher go answer the door and then leave all right yeah I don't want you to distract me I got to eat and I got to focus Cody I got to focus okay all right tubby I got you some lard L I'm eating McDonald's not fat enough you need to drink this L if you want to beat wo he big I am fighting wo he big yeah I think you got what it takes you're fat he's fat you got to drink this lot if you want to get big okay I'll drink it when's the fight like next week no it's right now so we got to go you got to hurry up and drink this come on let's go you got to drink and walk drink and walk let's go hello and welcome to the 11th annual living room sumo wrestling tournament over here we have the 10 ton 10 time Champion wall he big wa he really is big and over here we have the newcomer Junior oh man I can't drink any more Lord oh you have to you only got a little bit left all right now open wi oh all right first wrestler to be knocked out of this circle loses no all right come on drink it you only got a little bit left you did feel good all right now get out there and go I don't know what I'm doing just push him out the circle push him out of the circle well it's over folks how disappointing but to be fair who really thought a child could defeat the 10 ton 10 time Champion Al although I guess now he's the 10 ton 11 time Champion which isn't as much fun to say you so dumb you're so stupid how you R the fight now you're going to get homework for the rest of the year D oh my God what happened you got knocked out kid I don't even know how to Sumo wrestle clearly well I have other bad news for you you also have diabetes from all the crap you've been eating what diabetes yeah so I'm going to have to take away your year supply of McDonald's you can't take that away well I can if you've been abusing it which you clearly have been what can I at least finish my French fries no no stop it no no no no no my French fries you it for Me Jesus Christ these are stale how long have these been here Jeffy get in here what do you want you have a package from your Aunt Ernestine who's that she was your aunt Jeffy and she died 2 days ago [ __ ] while shipping you this package jeez and it's been outside for 2 days so you should open it all right here I go she got me a puppy he's been outside for 2 days with no water in a hot box Marvin we need to call a vet I'll go get the vet hey there somebody call a doctor yes doctor we really need your help wait what's with that button oh the Gay Pride button yeah if I wear this and the hospital thinks I'm gay and they don't make me do male physicals cuz they think I'm going to like it too much which is fine cuz I don't like touching balls and I get to be a gynecologist and not wear any gloves and then afterwards I can suck my fingers like I got done eating baby back ribs I want my baby back baby back baby back baby bag chilies baby bag ribs barbecue sauce anyway what do you need so his aunt Ernestine died well I'm sorry to hear that but if she's already dead I can't help her oh no we need a vet why do you need to vet for his dead ant no I need a vet for this dog why did you mention ant Ernestine it's part of the story well skip the story and tell me about the dog okay so this dog was shipped here 2 days ago in that box and that box is outside in the hot sun you left your package outside for 2 days no it was in jeffy's name so we didn't know if we could open it or not well did you give the dog any water we didn't know if we could give him water well of course you can give a dog water and you should feed it too baby write that down okay I got it it's a miracle this dog's even still alive if it's a vies you should name it Miracle well I was going to name it wind Dixie why would you name it wind Dixie you didn't find it in a wind Dixie that doesn't make sense he looks like a wind Dixie he doesn't look anything like the dog in that movie well I'm still naming him wind Dixie all right it's your dog but just give wind Dixie some water all right Jeffy we don't have any water here so take him to the gas station and give him water okay come on wind [Music] dii so then I tell the guy fine I will take my business elsewhere holy [ __ ] do you have any look P Cruiser 2007 oh my God you're right it's a p Cruiser 2007 I tell you all the time I always want P Cruiser 2007 ask him if he'll sell it to you oh great idea nice car thanks P Cruiser 2007 how much she's not for sale kute dog I love dogs what what did that little [ __ ] say to me hey sorry about my friend you have a nice day sir to all right Daddy I just got wind Dixie some water all right drink the water drink the water Jeffy you need to put it in a bowl no he can learn to drink out of his straw or he'll have nothing at all good boy all right Jeffy me and Mommy are going to go watch a movie tonight are you going to be safe home alone yeah I think me and wind Dixie are just going to go to bed all right good night Jeffy come on baby let's go to the movies all right come on wind Dixie all right wind Dixie it's time to go to bed but first first what's wrong when DIY You couldn't possibly want the bone that I you on every night before bed you do all right well go get it why does it do that all right wind Dixie good [Music] night look brother the beat the girls are 2007 from the jerk off at the gas station he wouldn't sell it to you I said we take it with pleasure you ready let's go beit that mother heer a lesson that PT Cruiser 2007 is mine all yours soon you will be mine my baby brother we're going to have to break in by busting the door down why not just open door with door code what do you think the code is what year is PT Cruiser 2007 oh wow it was 2007 all right we're in time to find kids to PT Cruiser 2007 and get out but bro it could be anywhere in here well we better start looking keys are not under the table keys are not under chair either oh look brother it's cute B from gas station little dog we a kid to P Cruiser what do you mean what year 2007 obviously his best Year brother kill this mut okay brother he f one more time wind Dixie good that stupid m is dead wind Dixie brother what are you doing kill this stupid bra okay where is P Cruiser key yeah where is it tell us if you want to live already kill stupid [ __ ] bro look over there I'm K holy [ __ ] k p Cruiser 2007 let's get out of here D you [ __ ] look brother we did it PT Cruiser 2007 is dream come through and it drives better than I thought it would let's take it back to shop du Marvin I can't believe you made me watch a movie about a bomb I thought opener was going to be the sequel to Pinocchio what oh my God oh Jeffy Jeffy are you okay oh my God Marvin someone beat him up and someone killed his dog Marvin call the doctor call the cops call somebody okay hey somebody call a doctor yes doctor someone beat up our son wait more buttons oh yeah see I found out June is gay pride month and if you're gay you get that month off and I really want June off next year so I told Henry and HR that I was gay but he didn't believe me so then I kissed Julio the janitor in front of him to prove it but then he caught me brushing my teeth and throwing up immediately after so I decided to wear all these pins to hopefully convince Henry I like knob anyway what's going on with you guys the dog is dead I told you to give it water no someone beat him to death oh I didn't know you guys were friends with Michael Vic hey can you get me his autograph no no no like someone random beat him up and someone beat up Jeffy too oh wow what happened they killed my dog and stole my car huh that reminds me of the time somebody killed my dog and stole my car wait that happened oh yeah let me tell you about it so back in the day I had a wife and then she died it's not really clear how she died like I guess she had cancer or something I'm not really sure but what matters is that she died and then after she died she gave me a puppy not like she came back as a zombie or a ghost and gave me a puppy she just like had it delivered after she died I'm not really sure how she arranged that but what matters is that I had this dog okay so then I go to the gas station in my 1969 Mustang and it's a really nice car and then these two Russian gangsters there and they tell me how much they like my car and they want to buy it from me and I tell them it's not for sale cuz I like it too much and that pisses them off so later they come over to my house and they beat me up and they kill my dog and they steal my car and now I'm really pissed off and what they don't know is that I'm a legendary Hitman and nobody's supposed to mess with me so I want revenge also I'm friends with the Green Goblin like he's not literally the Green Goblin he's the actor that played the Green Goblin William the foe but the whole time you're watching it you're like that's the Green Goblin so I get revenge on these guys right and I shoot a bunch of people and I kill all of them and I get a new dog and then my daughter calls me and she's on vacation in France with her friends and we're talking on the phone and she's telling me how it's going and then she gets kidnapped while she's on the phone with me and then I get on the phone with the kidnapper and I tell them how scary I am and how I'm going to track him down and he doesn't really seem to care so then I fly over to France and then I kill him and find my daughter and then on the flight home I find out that my plane is full of snakes and I have had it I am sick and tired of these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane and then I'm a fish working at the whale Wash and I want to be famous and I also owe a bunch of money to this puffer fish and his jellyfish henchmen so I decide to pretend that I killed a shark and then everybody loves me and they think I can protect them from sharks and then real sharks show up and then after that I fell asleep so I don't really know what happens also I was voiced by Will Smith oh wait a minute yeah none of that actually happened to me those were all movies I saw recently but still you should get revenge Jeffy cuz what they did was messed up you're right I'm going to kill them all be careful Jeffy oh and then I was a little red crab and my friend was a mermaid who wanted to be able to [Music] walk hey boss you like wa is this a 2007 PT Cruiser sure is B Cru or 2007 classic wait where'd you get this car from some jerk off at gas station I killed his dog H wait did his face look like this yeah pretty much you idiot you killed Jeffy Wick's dog and you stole his car uh what's big deal what's big deal I'll tell you what big deal is Jeffy Wick is the most gruesome Hitman in the world he once killed a man with the pencil in his nose I'm not scared well you should be okay I'm a little more scared now I'm going to call my theread come on F mother pick up cellular device hello son hello Daddy how is your day going well people keep telling me I screw up what did you do this time I steal Jeffy Wick's car and kill his dog you did what I doo bad yes you did very bad I in trouble yes you're in very big trouble you going and give me spanking no I don't give you spanking Jeffy Wick give you spanking with gun no I beat [ __ ] out of Jeffy Wick hey [ __ ] no he's going to kill you not if I kill him first good luck I don't need luck I have baseball bat brother come we going and kill Jeffy Wick hey Jeffy Wick what are you doing here that's my car I I know it is and you can have it back I didn't send anybody to steal it they just didn't know any better will you tell them that I'm coming for them and I will kill them yeah yeah I I will I got one question for you who's [ __ ] my diaper I don't know you correct I swear I'd never kill again but now I have to whip out my big [ __ ] goofy purple fortnite pistol to kill those two guys who killed my dog but I have to go to sleep first cuz I haven't gotten a full night's [Music] rest No More Mr Nice Guy Jeffy we come out the play they're here time to die he's upstairs you want to go first since you have gone sure where are you Jeffy holy [ __ ] you killed my brother screw this bit he I don't miss all right I am safe here where are you you Russian piece of [ __ ] right here you American piece of [ __ ] oh no I'm not the ammo what am I to do I need somewh to hide in here don't look in here I'm just coffee cup [ __ ] you ready to die oh come on man it was just a stupid th all right Daddy I got my revenge I'm glad Jeffy now can you take that ridiculous wig off no cuz I still got three more sequels to make you killed my son you bastard hey Daddy what this thing e Jeffy Jeffy don't touch that it smells bad where'd you find that at I found it behind the toilet well put it back what is it it's a toilet plunger what you do well when there's poop in the toilet you stick that in it why you just flush the toilet because sometimes there's too much poop in the toilet and you have to get it out with that so how do you use this you just scoop the poop out and make a poop sickle no why don't you just use a spoon or a fork or Chopsticks because that would be gross Jeffy you're supposed to use that so then how do you use this you stick it in like this that's what she said no jeny flip it around what like this yeah and then and then you get on it and you you do this oh yeah dadd work that pole no no Jeffy look just put it back where you found it why you didn't like it no Jeffy I don't like it you like get it away from me Jeffy know I don't like [Applause] it I got take show I got to take a show e my face e chy put that back I'm going to go watch my face just just watch TV or something smell it breaking news UK the lottery is at $100 million and the winning numbers are 15 22 25 59 61 and six good luck to whoever has that ticket hold on to it tight so it doesn't blow away in the wind and that takes me to the weather forecast it's going to be windy 100% chance of wind powerful enough to snatch a lottery ticket right out of your hand $100 million is a lot of money all right I'm back I just took the world's quickest shower Mario did you hear the lottery is at $100 million it doesn't matter it's RI Jeffy stop it go brush your teeth all right it doesn't matter it's rigged no one's ever going to win it anyway they do say it's the idiot's tax what's your lottery well Jeffy if you have a piece of paper with those numbers on it you win $100 million all right hold on where's my 100 million bucks no Jeffy it has to be a lottery ticket with those numbers and it has to be before they announc the numbers well how was I supposed to know what the numbers were going to be before they even announced it well you're supposed to guess well I think the next one's going to be four well Jeffy five more numbers and you might have it all right seven no Jeffy there's no point in guessing it has to be 16 Jeffy no go buy a ticket if you 23 it doesn't matter there's not another drawing 54 the next drawing is next week do it this 16 well maybe you won CH Jeffy look look it doesn't matter it does not matter the lottery you have to be 18 to play it anyway what am I supposed doing his thing go put it back behind the toilet go take out the trash do your chores well well if you want me to take out the trash then you got to come with me cuz you're trash Jeffy take you out Jeffy look go put that behind the toilet and go take out the trash and do your chores okay Daddy jeffy's so annoying D go l no go I got to take another shower look for something to [Music] eat [Music] toilet paper oh man oh man I ain't taking out the trash I'm me see if I can make it from right here Kobe yay I made it oh what is that let me see this what is this thing it's just a piece of paper with stupid numbers all over it I've already had two showers today want to make it three no hey D I just took out the trash good boy Jeffy Mario could you imagine if we won the lottery I know $ hundred million that would change our lives but how would we have guessed the numbers 15 22 25 59 61 and 6 way a minute wait Jeffy where are you going Jeffy where is he where is where is it where's the winning ticket with the numbers on it what is this oh that's not it those aren't the winning numbers where is it where is it what's wrong Jeffy I won the ly but I lost the ticket sure you did Jeffy yeah you and your big imagination um Danny what happens when you win the lottery you take it to the lottery office and they give you the money Jeffy where are you going he's just being stupid just sit down baby breaking news UK the winner of the $100 Million jackpot has stepped forward come on in Jeffy what Jeffy has decided that he does not want to claim the100 million in cash but he would rather have a $100 million worth of bouncy balls because he doesn't want to pay taxes what an idiot Jeffy won the lottery but he didn't take the money he took the prize and bouncy balls hey dadd you like all my bouncy balls J you won the lottery you didn't take the money you took it at bouncy balls Mario what else do you expect he's just a kid he could have taken the money and he could have changed our lives forever but dy I did change our lives forever we have more bouncy balls now than we ever did before what are we going to do with all these B balls Jeffy boun them oh Mario I like this one Jeffy we could have been millionaires well we are millionaires we're just bouncy ball millionaires I feel all sticky and gross I I need to take a bath I need to take a bath I had two showers today but now I need to take a bath oh I hate my life I hate my life okay okay I'm just going to take a nice warm bath and hold my head under the water until I can't breathe anymore that's sounds perfect yeah yeah you put B balls in the bath look Mario I'm collecting all the purple ones that's great baby how was your bath Mario I didn't get to take a bath tell her why Jeffy cuz I put bouncy balls in your bathtub he put bouncy balls in the bathtub a that's so cute Jeffy it K it's not cute it's inconvenient the bathtub is full of bouncy balls well then take a shower like an adult Mario he's just being creative he's not being creative he ruined my life Jeffy why did you take bouncy balls instead of the money well Daddy what am I going to do with $100 million put it in the bank let it collect interest what happens if the government shuts down or the stock market crashes then I lose all my money so instead I invested in something tangible see these bouncy balls this bouncy ball right here has got gold in it mhm it's going to be the next Bitcoin and when it blows up I'm going to be sitting pretty daddy I'm going to be Jeffy Bezos you are so stupid Mario he is I'm stupid who's the one that doesn't have bouncy balls you okay you know what yeah fine yeah let's just sort the bouncy balls and to different colors that sounds fun right okay Mario you can collect the blue ones yeah you already gave me blue balls today so yeah let's start collecting the blue ones oh oh I found another one yeah let's do that instead of having $100 million in cash let's just play with 100 million bounc balls like little kids see o look how fun this is this is fun it's fun day oh yeah yay I can't wait to heat up my pizza where did all these mouny balls come from oh God you know what I don't even care I'm not even going to let it bother me cuz I'm not going to clean it up I'm just going to get a drink for the refrigerator all right let's see what we have to drink where are these bouny balls coming from oh Mario all right I'm almost done with my blue pile I have so many different piles Mario isn't this fun no hey Daddy I'm collecting giraffe balls and yellow balls that's real nice Jeffy Mario oh what's wrong Chef peipi why are there bouncy balls in my microwave and in the refrigerator right here that's me right here Jeffy won the lottery and instead of taking the money he took them in bouncy balls that's stupid yeah and he decided to put the bouncy balls all throughout the house cuz he doesn't know where to store them at well get him out of my kitchen I'm not cleaning it up breaking news due to people counterfeiting and printing their own money the United States is no longer using Cash's currency we will now be using bouncy balls as a new currency so if you want to buy something you have to pay for it in bouncy balls what bouncy balls can be used as money now uh actually never mind I'll clean it up well well well who's the idiot now Mario we're rich yeah we are rich actually I'm rich well I guess that's true Jeffy what do you want to buy with your millions of bouncy balls H take me to McDonald's all right grab some bouny balls welcome to McDonald's how may I take your order Jeffy what do you want Happy Meal can we get a Happy Meal uh yeah it'll be four bouncy balls please Jeffy do you have four bouncy balls right here pay the man okay then here's your Happy Meal sir oh thank you mhm this ridiculous all right we're back did the bouncy balls work Mario what it look like Mommy I got my Happy Meal so I'm happy as insert s word that's so cool I can't believe you're rich Jeffy I stay Rich Mommy well Jeffy is there any way that Mommy and Daddy can borrow some bouncy balls to pay some bills sure daddy but you can only have the bouncy balls that are not on this couch oh my God je Jeffy has bouncy balls hidden throughout the house he has like a lot in the bathtub where else do you have bouncy balls hidden Jeffy um I got in the bathtub and um the toilet the toilet oh my God baby we're rich there's like a million in the bathtub and there's probably like a couple thousand in the toilet hold on I'm going use the ice cream scooper I'm going to get the bouncy balls come on all right there it is the gold mine I'm going to start taking it out with my hands no Daddy Let's just just thing that you said Works wow daddy it's really getting them out of there isn't it I lied let let's use our hands all right all right baby we just got these out of the toilet we're rich E Mario they're dirty I don't care clean money Dirty Money I Want It Anyway breaking news the United States is going back to using cash as currency because we realize that That Bouncy Balls was a stupid idea what so these these bouncy balls are useless a but they're pretty to look at Mario hey Daddy I fixed your toilet plunger now it's easier for you to get the poop out see if you put it like this you scoop up all the poop look at that that's a lot of [Music] poop got to check the mail a someone please help me oh shut up I don't know why you're screaming no one's going to stop [Laughter] me Let Her Go or suffer the consequences baby thank God you're here you're so brave and so sexy wait who is he with that gorgeous hair I shampoo and condition so sexy oh the hair it's my only weakness are you ready to die oh he can fly too of course I can I'm super hair man super super super super hair man hair oh it's ter I got you baby I got you baby I saved you thank you so much for saving me oh hey watch the hair oh man it was just a dream I wish my life was like like that dream a full head of hair can you imagine me being a sexy beast oh my life is so sad huh who's at the door oh they probably woke me up from my dream hello hey you want to see my pencil wait your pencil wait who are you what are what are you doing here oh my name is Jeffy she is saying on my shirt Jeffy what Jeffy what's this note say oh it says I'm a good boy please babysit sorry I'm not a babysitter what are you doing here oh my mom dropped me off and she said that my name is Jeffy and now I'm a good boy well your mom needs to pick you back up because I'm not a babysitter so where's she at where'd she go oh she drove off she drove off how how is take you back to her look look how about this how about you want to see my penil you've already showed me that see it can go on my nose look don't do that why cuz you're going to hurt yourself why because pencils aren't supposed to go in noses why because it hurts why stop saying why why no don't start shouting you want to see me draw a pretty picture no no more no pretty picture I'm drawing on your wall get your pretty picture stop it why what if I came to your house and Drew a pretty picture on your wall go for it no no no go for it yes go for it stop it all right what what was that what are you doing no look look how about you come inside and I give you some gummies gummy yeah gummies okay yeah come come on let's find your mom oh God why is this my life why did you show up at my door all the houses in the neighborhood he chose mine okay look I'm going to give him the gummies and I'm going to call Rose for help hey Jeffy I got your gummies why because I said I get you gummies feed me I'm a giraffe Oh no you're not a giraffe gummy right here yeah gummy does go right there but you can put the gummy there you done no no no why are you wearing a diaper in case I poop my pants but the diaper on the outside of your pants yeah so it won't get dirty but then but then your pants will get dirty okay look look here's a whole box of gummies you can just eat these and have wait wait what are you doing stop it I'm trying to put a pencil in my nose and I said stop it the pencil does not go in your nose why because pencils aren't meant for noses then why does my nose have holes in it to to breathe does your nose have holes in it yes every nose has a hole in it then a pencil goes in no just because a pencil will fit in it doesn't mean it should go in it so look open your nose no open the nose yes open your nose look look look just eat your gummies okay you want to see my pencil I've seen it you show it to me every 5 Seconds you can just eat the gummies and I'll be right back come on enter the phone answer the phone why do have a phone if you don't answer it hey baby hey hi hey hi okay look I have a huge problem baby I know you're bald but we talked about it you can get the hair implant I don't want the hair implant that's not the problem well what other problems do you have other than being bald Marvin Marvin that's your name now oh we couldn't think of a better name than Marvin Just Go With It okay okay look look look a kid showed up at my door oo was he selling cookies I wish he was selling cookies I think his mom abandoned him what yeah so I need you to come over right now okay okay okay I'm coming right now Marvin Marvin don't worry Jeffy help is on the way what Jeffy why' you put that P on your nose what what did you say why' you put that pen on your nose I told you not to do it I can't hear you get the gummies out of your ears where my pel go try checking up your nose oh hold on just stay right here Rose is at the door just stay right here oh thank God you're here baby this kid literally shov the pencil up his nose what why would you let him do that I didn't let him do it I told him not to do it he did it anyway well I brought him a coloring book and some crayons I thought he might like that well you know what he's going to do with those crayons he's going to show them up his nose cuz he thinks his nose has holes in it that stuff supposed to go up there oh Marvin he's not going to do that just come inside okay all right baby he's in here but don't get too close to him I don't know what he might do to you what's wrong Marvin he he was right here he's not here oh no he's Loos in the house it's going to be okay no no it's not okay you he's crazy he put these gummies in his ears he has a pit on his nose that's not San it's not sanitary he he's insane he might destroy the house we have to look for him okay he has a blue helmet on a yellow shirt this say Jeffy on it you look that way I'll look this way okay Jeffy Jeffy where are you uh I want to see your pencil oh God what if he starts a fire uh Marvin I think I found him you did don't don't get near him all right baby where is he hey I'm a mommy you're not a mommy Jeffy why are you making a mess with the toilet paper cuz I had to go poop poop well did you go poop poop yeah and the good news is is I'm wearing the diaper so we're all good there well that's good no it's not good cuz the diaper on the outside of his pants what so now your pants are all full of poop well at least the diaper is still clean but your pants are dirty bingo so who's going to wipe me hey can can can you wipe him absolutely not it's starting to itch it's starting to itch mm- it's starting to run up my back it's starting to run up his back I will not please wipe me I will deal with him can you just please go try to call the cops and file a missing person report or or file a a found person report just get rid of them okay okay Marvin oh where my penil go k me somebody kill me all right Jeffy we got you all cleaned up and now you can finish eating your gummies but my diaper still clean yeah because you crap inside your pants and not your diaper and my pants are dirty yeah because you crap inside your pants Jeffy Jeffy stop it stop doing that why why you doing that stop it Marvin Marvin what the cops are on their way they are thank God we're safe cuz Jeffy being really weird right now look what he's doing he he keeps smacking his diaper and he's making that weird face and he won't answer me look Jeffy Jeffy stop it Jeffy Jeffy stop doing that right now Jeffy please Jeffy How Could You Jeffy there's a lady right here you're going to do it in front of a lady Jeffy stop it please stop it grab the coloring book okay maybe that'll distract him hey Jeffy look at the coloring book coloring book yeah it's a it's a coloring book have you ever colored one before no grab a crayon okay okay so so so the pages in this book you color them with a crayon I want the crayon I want the crayon for my nose no no no no no no you're not going to put that in your nose but my nose has an extra hole in it give me that's not what the holes are for you use those for breathing you're not going to put a crayon in your nose well I want the crayon for my nose give me have it you're not putting it in your nose I wouldn't for my nose okay we're not going to give it to you if you're going to put it in your nose okay fine I won't put it in myse nose you promise you're not going to put that in your nose yes I promise okay give it to him but you better not put that in your nose you better not put that in your nose don't you dare don't you dare no more crown for you bad boy you can't me your bad boy what's happening I don't know what are you doing stop stop it say some good things um Jeffy you're a good boy yeah I'm a good boy I'm a good boy right here you're a good boy yes you're good good boy oh this is insane he's crazy the cops the cops are at the door okay keep an eye on them and I'm going to go to the door yay the cops are here the cops are here hello hey there you call the cops yes please kill me whoa do I get to take you to a padded room huh huh you little psycho a padded room how's that sound no no no I need your help come inside please okay all right Officer the problem's in here oh a blonde tell me about it then nothing but trouble what no no no not not not her him look I found my pencil well I'm glad you found your pencil Jeffy wait why is there a crayon in your nose Rose why is there a crayon in his nose I'm sorry I tried to stop him he was just so persistent uh why is there a crayon in his nose he likes to put things in his nose wait where my crayon go has anyone seen my crayon it's low look officer look this is what happened look I was laying on the couch living the dream and out of nowhere I get a knock on the door and this thing this person shows up at my door and he says his mom dropped him off and abandoned him so get rid of him please well hold on hold on let me just ask him a few questions first uh hey there Jeffy I see on your shirt it says your name's Jeffy so so what's your last name Jeffy your last name is Jeffy so your name is Jeffy Jeffy okay Jeffy yeah all right so so can I get an address where do you live Jeffy Jeffy you you live on Jeffy so like can I get a house number or something shav SE seven Jeffy so so your name is Jeffy Jeffy and you live on seven Jeffy seven Jeffy Street Jeffy this is going nowhere I know he's so dumb and he doesn't answer me he just does dumb stuff all the time so can you please just get rid of me because I what what what's he doing with the what oh okay what oh and then he does that yeah I don't know why stop him from doing that no I mean I look he's having a blast he's clearly enjoying himself I know but he's doing that in front of a lady he need to stop doing that I mean knock yourself out you know look look what happens when you call him a a bad boy Jeffy you're a bad boy you said jeffy's a bad boy no no no you're a good boy you're a good boy you're a good boy said jeffy's a good boy yes yeah yes he's a lunatic so so get him out of my life now well see the problem is you find yourself in kind of a weird situation cuz uh you know there's that uh findest keeper losers weepers law what yeah so so you know if you find a kid you're going to have to take care of him until you can find his parents that's the law sorry I've never heard of that before well there's nothing else I can do no no no figh Keepers Los weers I don't want him I have to be dreaming I'm in a nightmare I'm in a nightmare no wake up please wake up please wake up please wake up please wake up please wake up huh it was just a dream it was just a dream it was just a really bad sucky dream oh thank God that would suck if that was real huh who's that hello hey you want to see my penil you want to see it there everything is perfect for jeffy's 16th birthday party cupcakes Mario you should have gotten him a real cake well the store was sold out of real cakes and Jeffy loves cupcakes listen jeffy's not even going to remember that today's his birthday so this is going to be a big surprise party for him he's definitely going to remember it's his birthday Mario trust me baby he's not going to remember that today's his birthday he doesn't remember anything well see who birthday Jeffy birthday who birthday Jeffy birthday Daddy who birthday Jeffy birthday yeah Jeffy birthday woo not going to remember huh happy birthday Jeffy oh thank you mother thank you Father I'm so happy to have both of my parents on my sweet 16 yeah you're my my big old boy is 16 years old and just two more years and we get that money Mario and since I turned 16 you know what that means Daddy what beep beep beep oh sorry I didn't see you back [Music] there please pull over never oh no a spike strip get him out of the car no you'll never take me alive you have to right to remain silent no no I now sentence you to 25 years to life oh look show drop I don't get it you're supposed to give me a car daddy a car Mario it is his 16th birthday I'm not buying him a car Mario he doesn't know how to drive and he doesn't even have a license bad birthday hat and Daddy I don't need a license cuz I'm 16 now Jeffy what are you going to do when you get pulled over and you don't have a license well if the police officer knows how to do his job I'll just tell him now I'm 16 and he'll let me go that's not how that works Mario you have to get your son a car for his birthday I'm not going to get him a car you doesn't know how to drive I don't trust him behind the wheel of a car Mario you go get your son a car right now but where am I supposed to get that out of money go Mario go want you stupid hat anymore oh look Jeffy it's your car never going to have cuz your daddy hates you oh look a wall what is he doing he's playing with a toy car Mario since you wouldn't buy him a real one for his birthday well as a matter of fact I just bought him a car you did oh you got me a car Daddy yeah you're the best daddy ever I love you when you give me stuff and I don't even have to ask for it Mario you're the greatest yeah yeah yeah I am all right Jeffy close your eyes let's go outside all right Daddy I'm just going to turn my eyes off all right Jeffy close your eyes all right daddy Jeffy I said close your eyes well Daddy I turned my eyes off so now I can't see so it might look like my eyes are open but really I can't see anything cuz I turned my eyes off Jeffy you can't turn your eyes off you cover your eyes fine Daddy all right and look this way when I tell you to you can look okay all right look surprise do you love it Danny I sure hope you watch after you put this big pile of crap in the driveway chy it's not a big pile of crap it's your first car Mario no that car was way too old and it's damage well every kid needs a beat up car for their first car so they can beat it up well who owned it before you bought it Chris Brown cuz you sure beat it up well no Jeffy look it's supposed to be a car that you can you don't have to be afraid to wreck it because you know if you run into stuff you going be worried okay so when I drive it I can run into stuff and hit people no no Jeff you still can't hit people run into stuff then why' you buy me a car I was already beat up Mario new cars are safer and they have airbags yeah and more than one headlight well Jeff just get inside it you might love it it's red okay well let's hope that the door handle is working that there's actually seats all right Jeffy look just get inside you might love it daddy who blew a big fart and ripped his seat Well Jeffy look look we can just tape it Shrek drove it a few times so he ripped it but look just get in and start the car you might love it where are we going what are you doing in here this is my home I live no no no this is not your home I bought this car for $300 it's not your home you have to get out well d looks like he lives here so I'm not driving this car Jeffy get out of this car Mario I can't believe you got Jeffy that piece of crap car strap it on and pound me Mommy it's not a piece of crap car it's red it's fast it's a Porsche Danny you can't spell Porsche without pore and that car outside is poor and the last part of the word Porsche is sh because we have to be quiet because we might hurt its feelings talking about how poor it is so Daddy you hush your mouth Mario you couldn't have gotten him a nicer car than that well I don't have money just to drop on a new car all right daddy well then we better not eat ever again what does food have to do with any of this well if we can't afford a car then we sure can't afford food and you better turn off all these lines because if we can't afford a new car or food then we can't afford electricity I have money for bills I just don't have money for a new car well I bet you have a car well I do but I have to drive places I have to drive places too where do you have to go chuckecheese I can take you no I want to take me well Jeff no what is that I think I think I hear cake hear cake daddy there better be a girl twerking downstairs if you say you can hear cake hear cake Mario I was trying to end the conversation cuz he was winning the argument Danny you're lucky and show am I cuz if this girl wouldn't have been down here twerking bottom you would have been getting a spanking on yours all right Jeffy let's light your birthday candles and you can blow out the candles and we can sing you happy birthday all right daddy where's my cake that is your cake three tiny cupcakes where's my big cake well the stores were sold out of big cakes Danny who hurt you what what who hurt you as a kid to where when you grew up you had to make my life so bad Jeffy you better be grateful some kids don't even have birthday parties grateful just party shcks but Jeffy baby can you answer the door I'm dealing with Jeffy okay Mario you got to be grateful Jeffy look just eat your cupcakes D the only thing I'm grateful for is this twerking bottom now I'm about to tame this bottom hello hey what what's up gorgeous super D I haven't seen you in years ever since the breakup yeah you know I just been saving the world working on my abs oh you've always had the nicest ABS yeah go ahead and give them a punch just like all times oh okay ow yeah they're still rock hard so what are you doing here well you know I was saving a family of kittens from that tree over there and then I heard your voice with my super hearing so I decided to come see what you were up to oh well actually it's my son's birthday today son you didn't tell me you had a kid adopted oh thank God I was about to take off faster than a speeding bullet oh man and then I wouldn't want your perfect body to be ruined and you know how I don't like kids you know and then I wouldn't want to have to take care of a kid that wasn't mine and then one day he'd be like you're not my real dad and he'd be right I don't want to deal with all that well it was very nice seeing you wa wait wait wait wait uh can I come in oh sure I'm sure Jeffy would love to meet a superhero on his birthday yeah Spider-Man ain't get crap on me Jeffy please be happy if if you're sad and you know it cuz your daddy sucks raise your hand if you're sad and you know it cuz your daddy sucks raise your hand if you're sad and you know it and you really want to show it cuz your daddy sucks raise your hand Jeffy stop it Mario look who I found baby I thought we were hiring Spider-Man no silly this is one of my ex-boyfriends super D what up little man exboyfriend was super de you never told me about him oh Mario it was so long ago but it feels like it was just yesterday why' you guys break up it wasn't my abs I'll tell you that they are perfect no it wasn't the ABS he was just always gone Mario off saving the world and all the praise and the fame and the attention it was just too much to handle yeah it's understandable well well I bet you he's not even really a superhero I bet he just dresses like that I bet he doesn't have any powers actually Mario he has cake Vision cake Vision yeah show him oh come on babe you know I don't like to show off that's your coolest than ever thanks super D oh you are so cool super D yeah I know how' you just do that who's at the door is it another one of your ex-boyfriends probably not Mario better not be oh you are always so possessive well you two separate hold on the door hello Hey fat boy what are you doing here phone call 911 say getting hot in here good getting hot I'm might to take off all my clothes it's getting hot in here so take out all your clothes I am getting so hot Scooter's going to have to take his clothes off uh-oh there's my hose and hose nose scooter hose can you get out of here okay this is really good cake super D yeah super D I wish you could be my daddy cuz my current daddy blows what you guys are eating cake what happened to singing happy birthday oh we already sang Happy Birthday Mario you already sang it without me I'm jeffy's father I should be here for that hey you want some cake bro no I don't want some cake bro okay what's your problem man because just shot cake out of your eyes I didn't shoot cake out of my eyes I turned your bad cake into better cake well my cake wasn't bad your your Cake's bad my cake was perfectly fine Mario who was at the door no one and I think it's time for super D to be leaving what does Super D even stand for super dumb well roselina gave me the name actually what yeah I don't really know what it stands for though cuz my name's Zach we thought about going with Zach attack but then yeah we went on one date and she wanted to call me super D afterward actually now that I think about it all the women I go out on dates with want to call me super D well I mean I do have mrss incredible powers from the waist down so I'm very tall well you know I I I don't care I've had enough with you I think it's time for you to leave because me and Jeffy have to go drive his new car isn't that right Jeffy Daddy I don't want to drive that piece of crap car out there that car sucks I want a better nicer car a car with my face on it well well you're not going to get that Jeffy huh a nicer car huh hold on you're going to fix our roof that's it roselina I don't want you talking to him ever again Mario I didn't invite him over he just showed up well that's weird and stalkerish so the first thing in the morning we're go to the courthouse and get a restraining order on him Mario don't be ridiculous all right I'm back everybody come outside I got a cool surprise well no how about you just go outside and never come back cuz we don't want to see your face again Mario don't be rude you're embarrassing me yeah you're embarrassing your uh what are you two again friends oh we're married look at my ring married all right it's time to use my divorce Vision no no no divorce Vision how about you you use your leave VIs vision and go away forever Vision because we don't want to see you ever again well I can't leave before Jeffy sees his cool new birthday present come on it's in the driveway you got me a birthday present yeah close your eyes Jeffy let's go outside okay all right Jeffy open your eyes it can't be any worse than my Daddy's car it's PE that's the coolest car in the world thanks Super Daddy don't mention it son that is the greatest gift ever super D anything for you babe wait how did you do that well first I flew to a car dealership with my flying powers and then I picked up a car I liked with my super strength see my abs then I brought it back here and painted it to look like jeffy's face with my paint Vision paint Vision yeah it's just one of my many superpowers isn't he the greatest Mario well just cuz you can do a bunch of great things doesn't mean you're great I think that's actually the definition of greatness doing a bunch of great things hey Super Daddy you think we can go for a drive sure thing kiddo yay Mario why are you so mad because your stupid dumb ex-boyfriend just showed up and it's all so cool and perfect why don't you go be with him he' make you happier Mario you don't need to get jealous I'm not jealous you're clearly jealous Mario I'm not jealous of his perfect ABS or his full head of hair or his superpowers or picking up cars or his cake Vision I I just think it's he's dumb Mario then why are you angry I I'm I'm I'm angry because he just showed up uninvited like call next time like don't just show up that's rude Mario can't we please just enjoy the day for Jeffy he's having a good time guess oh man I can't wait to catch me some Speeders got to beat my quota for the month come on where are you wa I clocked him going over 110 oh I love a good car chase we wo just act natural I've dealt with these pigs before do you have any idea IDE how fast you were going obviously not fast enough because you caught up with me B yeah well my hair dryer said you were going over 100 mph and by the way do you know this car was reported stolen stolen yeah apparently somebody just picked it up with their bare hands right off the dealership lot and flew away with it oh I didn't steal anything you might want to talk to this guy what super D is that you oh no what all right kid you're in a lot of trouble cuz I can't fly after him me I didn't even do anything just step out of the car H Mario there's someone at the door why don't you go answer it it might be one of your other exoy I don't know about like maybe this one's an astronaut or a rapper or an archaeologist oh Mario we don't talk about them what come on let's go answer uh hello what's going on here Daddy I arrested him wait wait wait wait wait this isn't right you get in front of me Jeffy why are you arrested I caught your son driving a stolen vehicle a stolen vehicle I thought super D bought it for him no you don't want to be messing with super D you know what the d stands for what dingling and it also stands for super delinquent cuz he's a super villain a super villain but he always used his powers for good when we were dating oh yeah well you ever heard of super tax evasion cuz he did it you know you can't go saving all those people and destroying buildings without paying taxes I hate Super Dave he got me in trouble and then he left me there well thank you officer for bringing Jeffy back come on no no no no no jeffy's going to jail for 5 years for 5 years it's his birthday yeah well it's my birthday too and I don't get off on my birthday not even when I get home well is there anything we can do we don't want Jeffy going to jail H well if you throw me the best birthday party ever I'll let him go I guess just take him to jail Mario we have to try all right come inside we'll try to throw you a party yay all right brooken guy you can have the rest of jeffy's cake yay cake and you can have a cupcake if you want one oh my God I love cupcakes I love cupcakes more than regular cake honestly if you just got me a cupcake instead of a normal cake I'd be just as happy if not more so H so what do you want to do after to eat your cupcake well I really just hope you bought me a car for my birthday and honestly I don't even care what it looks like it could have four flat tires one headlight and a clown living in the trunk and I'd still be happy Jeffy are you having an epiphany um Daddy I just wanted to apologize because I've been a really bad booger lately and you were just trying to be the tissue that extracts that booger from my Nal cavity so I wanted to apologize for not being appreciative for the things that you were trying to get me yeah Mario we're really sorry I didn't realized super D was such a bad person until the cop told us well he's such a real super dag ding a wing so I'm glad you guys understand now and understand that I love you Jeffy and I love you too I don't want to lose anyone and like let's just have a really awesome birthday and we all celebrate together okay Daddy wait wait wait is is that Christmas music yeah well that doesn't fit at [Music] all hello hi fat boy someone called 911 it's about noise complaint saying you weren't making enough noise get out of here okay happy birthday to me happy birthday to me Jeffy why are you singing that song Marvin it's not his birthday is it I don't think so cuz it's my birthday Daddy it's your birthday oh no Marvin it is his birthday how could we forget I don't know you ERS forgot my birthday no we didn't forget your birthday we just thought it was tomorrow that means you forgot we're sorry Jeffy you forgot we'll make it we'll make it up to you we'll make it up to you we'll make it up to you how are you going to UNR my birthday uh we're going to give you the best birthday party ever like uh with a cake and confetti baby go get a cake confetti uh yeah we we'll give you the best birthday ever so let's start with your birthday dinner where do you want to go for your birthday dinner Taco Bell Taco Bell yeah I want a bean taco from Taco Bell all right that's easy all let's go to Taco Bell thank you for tasing Taco Bell what can I get SED for you today uh just one second what do you want Jeffy I wanted Taco okay with beans with beans beans yep just beans only beans and shell okay and don't forget to Hot Josh don't for okay can I get a taco all right that's one crunchy taco what else for you and hot sauce 182 please don't forget the hot sauce if you forget the hot sauce I swear I'm going to I'm going to steal the Taco Bell sh look they're not going to forget the hot sauce all right good all right Jeffy just sit right here and eat your Taco Bell because I think mommy's almost done setting up your party downstairs all right daddy everything's set up Marvin everything set up y so you got a cake with candles and confetti yeah you got to be [ __ ] me Jeffy language what's wrong Jeffy those effers forgot my hot sauce Jeffy stop saying effers no they forgot my hot sauce Daddy they didn't forget the hot sauce I told them like 15 times Well it's not in there well can you just eat it without hot sauce no I wanted hot sauce for my bean taco so you know what that means they're going to get their Taco Bell sign stolen we're not stealing a Taco Bell sign Jeffy yes we are no we're not Jeffy look just eat your taco and look there's a cake downstairs let's go blow out the candles no I got to go steal their Taco Bell sign no Jeffy let's go blow out the candles on your cake and celebrate your birthday come on and then we get to go steal the Taco Bell shine surprise it's not a surprise cuz you already told me about it Jeffy look she got you a cake and plates who emptied a paper shreder all over the table it's confetti Jeffy it's fun we so fun look Jeffy we're going to sing you happy birthday then you're going to BL out your candles and then we'll get you whatever you want okay happy birthday to you Jeffy we weren't done singing all right the first thing I want for my birthday is everyone who's watching this video to go ahead and hit the like button and hit the Subscribe button I'll wait did you do it all right great thanks for my birthday present and everyone who didn't do it has no friends Jeffy what do you really want for your birthday well what I really want for my birthday is the Taco Bell sign Jeffy we can't get you the Taco Bell sign well they ruined my birthday so I'm going to ruin their business by stealing their sign baby we have to go get them the Taco Bell sign Marvin you can't can't steal the Taco Bell sign it's illegal Jeffy we can't get you the Taco Bell sign worst birthday ever I'm going to keep screaming until I get the Taco Bell sign we'll get you the Taco Bell sign Marvin you better not come on Jeffy let's go get the stupid sign all right Jeffy what part of the sign do you want I want the big Bell and the one that says Taco all right I'm going to get a ladder and let's go up there and get it all right all right Jeffy there's your Taco Bell sign best Danny ever Marvin you didn't well it's the only thing he wanted for his birthday now I'll taste him for forgetting my hot Jos how did you even do that it's called a drill mommy and a ladder why well we forgot jeffy's birthday and I felt bad so I thought you know if we got the Taco Bell sign he'd be happy and isn't it worth it to see that smile on his face what are you going to do when they notice they're not going to notice everybody knows where Taco Bell is they don't need a sign oh you're going to go to jail I'm not going to go to jail like bill has like a billion dollars they can just buy another sign that's not the point Marvin it's wrong well wrong SCH Marvin look the news breaking news someone has stolen the sign off of a Taco Bell and no one can tell what restaurant it is the police are holding a live press conference now let's go to that thanks Goodman as you can see from this picture here this is a Taco Bell I I think see I don't know cuz there's no sign out front cuz somebody stole it you know so so restaurants have sign in front of them so that you know where you're going but now nobody knows what's going on customers keep coming into the Taco Bell and they're ordering bacon ATS thinking it's Wendy's or something and the workers don't know what's going on either they're in there trying to make Big Macs with burrito supplies it's chaos so listen up whoever stole that sign we're coming for you oh no Marvin I don't want any part of this illegal activity I'm leaving for a couple of days well baby no come back Jeffy what are you doing oh I'm just polishing my brand new Taco Bell shine I love it so much well you better love it cuz now the cops are looking for us Daddy help me Jeffy are you okay no Daddy I'm stuck I think my legs are broken it's the worst birthday ever please get the Shine off me okay I'll get it Jeffy are you sure your legs are broken yeah they they hurt don't touch them okay I need you to call a doctor I can't call a doctor Jeffy because they're looking for the people who stole the Taco Bell sign and if I call a doctor they're going to see that we're the people who stole the Taco Bell sign and what are we going to do I don't know a 315 316 3117 3118 319 320 wait a minute it's today jeffy's 18th birthday is today I'm rich I just got to get out of this stupid prison first all right time for me to use my sexy charm to escape hey there big boy but shut up inmate I'm trying to figure out who stole this Taco Bell sign my back is killing me oh well I could give you a back massage if you let me out of this cell no no no no no what if you escape oh come on I wouldn't do that I love it here I got my own bed and my own toilet it's Paradise oh I do really want to back massage okay fine I'll let you out for 5 minutes to massage my back but then you're going right back in your cell okay all right now I let you out I really need you to get between my shoulder blades cuz that's where all my stress is okay I knocked them out I'm free oh D stay still Jeffy all right Jeffy I wrapped your legs in paper towels it kind of looks like a cast but they still hurt daddy well if you sit really still and keep your leg straight eventually they'll heal straight is that's how that works I don't know Jeffy I'm not a doctor what didn't call one we can't call it Dr Jeffy because of your stupid birthday gift it's illegal hold who's that what if it's the cops day look I'll handle it you just stay right here and don't make any noise okay all right if it's the cops I'm going to say what Taco Bell sign yeah that'll work hello surprise ow my legs hurt so bad oh Jeffy it's mommy what are you doing here well today's your 18th birthday and Mommy's going to get paid today's not my 18th birthday it's my 17th birthday nice try Jeffy but I've been counting the days in prison now come here huh to find my fugitive app says she's in here somewhere oh my God Marvin what happened to you jeffy's Mom she hit me in the face with a mallet oh my God so she isn't here help me Jeffy come on let's go upstairs wa wait upstairs yeah that's where your son is uh oh he's going to see the Taco Bell side uh no let's let's not go upstairs they can come down here can y'all guys come down here what are you talking about let's go can I help you uh just don't look this way okay whatever don't come any closer I'm going to Bonk them Nancy why' you escape from prison what it's prison it sucks what do you mean oh yeah I guess that makes sense but why today well today's jeffy's 18th birthday and I'm going to inherit all his money well actually he's going to inherit his father's money and then I'm going to take his money but I'm still getting the money no no today's not jeffy's 18th birthday it's his 17th birthday no no no no no I've been counting well no actually today is his 17th birthday and I know cuz it's also my birthday oh damn it yeah everybody sing Happy Birthday to me happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday to Brooklyn happy birthday to you thank you that was very nice what Willie okay Nancy seriously it actually is his 17th birthday oh well I guess I messed up must have counted wrong it's okay I'll just break out next year yeah you go ahead and try that what are you doing over there wait wait wait a minute is that the Taco Bell sign God damn it okay who stole this uh it was Nancy no no it's not me yeah yeah it was you when you came over you you brought the sign with you no no it couldn't have been her she was in jail when it got stolen oh you're right okay I'm going to take her back to jail then I'm coming back over here come on oh no Jeffy what do we do oh no Daddy get in there congratulations you just added 5 years to your sentence no no no where did I go wrong 17 okay so jeffy's 18th birthday is next year and next year I'm going to get you Jeffy all right she's in jail now who's next to go to jail who stole this sign all right Officer look it's my son's birthday and all he wanted for his birthday was a Taco Bell sign so I stole it for him for his birthday really you you you'd commit a felony for your son's birthday that's actually really sweet I wish somebody would commit a felony for my birthday oh cheer up I bet someone will commit a felony for your birthday one day really do you think so hold on I got an idea hey Jeffy there's two parts to your Taco Bell sign do you think we can give one to the police officer [Music] he had a being talk earlier oh oh god oh oh oh jeez you oh okay it smells like ass in here I'm just going to know you can keep the sign happy birthday all right Simmons I'm going to show you where we keep the baddest of the bad inmates solitary confinement there's no food there's no electricity there's no hope well what do they eat if they don't have food sir they eat cockroaches and rats and whatever else they can find on the ground okay so this is our first inmate bubbles what's up beautiful back away from the bars oh wait you afraid to get kissed huh don't kiss him Simmons I didn't plan on it so one kiss from him and you'll fall in love Yeah Welcome to My Love chamber come on in come on Simmons let's go what wait come on get kiss me kiss me come on all right follow me this way oh no hurry up hurry up all right Simmons this next inmate is the worst of the worst her name is Nancy can I see what she looks like oh of course you can she's a caged animal hey Nancy get out here you old bag Nancy she's coming Nancy n Nancy don't make me come in there and pull you out you make me look bad Nancy you old C just one second Simmons Nancy you're pissing me off look me come and gra you Nancy Nancy you better be dead in here cuz you didn't answer me oh my god oh no she escaped Simmons Simmons sound the alarms Nancy Escape we got a cold red lock down the prison go go go [Music] today is going to be a good day [Music] mhm [Music] mhm let's see what we got [Music] here she's [Music] perfect let's go get some kids [Music] [Music] now where are those kids at H maybe some musical help oh kids where are you kids I got some free candy for you kids I did it I finally escaped and on jeffy's 18th birthday now all I got to do is kidnap him and get my millions of dollars and now where the hell am I oh God I'm so glad to finally be out of that prison oh [ __ ] it's the cops wait a minute that's not the cops maybe maybe he'll give me a ride woohoo oh [Music] youo youo big boy can you give me a ride I don't think he stopping stop hey there baby you really shouldn't stand in the road I almost hit you can you give me a ride big boy no I only take kids oh really well there's a kid I need you to help me take sorry I work alone I'll give you $50,000 huh that'll buy me a lot of candy get in chief chief chief don't worry guy I didn't forget today's your birthday Chief you remembered my birthday happy birthday guy I don't know is your birthday right yes Simmons today's my birthday at least somebody remembered well happy birthday it's too late now so what were you going to tell me guy huh I don't even remember I'm just so happy now the prisoner oh yeah the prisoner escaped Chief The Prisoner Nancy escaped from solitary confinement we locked down the entire prison but she still somehow got away damn it guy how could you allow this to happen sir I don't know what happened she dug her way through concrete I don't know how it was like some sha Shank Redemption [ __ ] damn it guy you better bring her back dead or alive or you're fired sir you can't fire me today's my birthday then I'll wait till tomorrow and then fire your ass well you can't fire me cuz I quit I'm just kidding you know I need this job come on S let's go find him all right Marvin is this good enough I think we need a few more balloons a few more balloons I bought all the balloons from the store I just want to make sure that jeffy's 18th birthday Day special Marvin this looks amazing you did this just for jeffy's birthday you know me I love Jeffy and I want to make sure his 18th birthday is the most special birthday he's ever had that's so sweet Marvin jeffy's going to be so excited hey Chef peipi can you go to the store and get 50 more balloons 50 more balloons I'll get your stupid balloons now leave me alone I just want to make sure that Jeffy gives me money I mean I want to make sure that Jeffy knows I love him Marvin you're not doing this just because jeffy's inheriting millions of dollars from his dead father are you jeffy's inheriting millions of dollars from his dead father it completely llip my mind oh really I'm being serious baby you know I love Jeffy I mean it's his 18th birthday Marvin come on just let him enjoy his special day baby it is our special day because he's turning 18 and he can move out of the house Marvin we're not kicking him out of the house on his birthday it depends on how much money he gives us Marvin oh listen let me go wake up Jeffy cuz it's his birthday and let me get his king crown king crown my snoring russan Jeffy wake up it's your birthday really Daddy yeah Jeffy you're 18 years old yeah that too so how about you take off that bunny suit and come downstairs but what if I don't want to take off my bunny suit then leave it on you can keep it on all day really daddy you never let me leave my bunny suit on all day well it's your birthday so you can do whatever you want and look for breakfast I got you candy bars candy for breakfast daddy you're being really nice to me today well you know I love you Jeffy I wouldn't be doing it for any other reason and look since it's your birthday is there anything else you want strippers wait you want one yeah yeah with big yummy cans well I'll call one up for your birthday party which is downstairs W I got a birthday party do I have chocolate can of course there's chocolate cake buddy so how about you go downstairs wait wait wait a second you're now King of the house I totally forgot you're King of the House King of the house so here is your birthday crown you can tell people what to do oh well then I banish you to the dungeon well don't banish me yet until you see how cool your birthday party is okay let's go see it come on all right I'm going to take off my bunny put my birthday shoe on well don't get naked how about you just take the bunny suit off come on here it is here's jeffy's cake all right Jeffy here's your birthday party daddy look at all your balloons wait shf baby where's the 50 extra balloons they were sold out I just got a cake go get more balloons go find our drive 100 miles to go get some I'll find the balloons go get some it's Jeffy D's birthday party I wanted to be special dang this is the coolest birthday ever it's a birthday Fit For A King yes Jeffy and look at all your presents full of expensive items and and maybe one day you'll repay us like today Marvin which one has the stripper in it she's on the way what that's what Jeffy wanted for his birthday party no Marvin hey Daddy since I'm 18 now can I throw this glass cup against the wall and shatter it I mean I'd rather you didn't but if that's what you want to do on your birthday party then go for it buddy but please don't H I've suddenly grown out of childish behavior wait really no you know that doesn't even make me mad because it's your birthday party so just go go crazy Jeffy there's someone at the door stripper no not yet I'm about I'm it's your friends oh my friends Jeffy your friends are here happy birthday Jeffy yeah happy birthday happy birthday dude this party is so crazy thanks guys look I'm a king oh wow that Crown is so cool and you're 18 years old that means strippers yeah you can also vote now what well he can you can also buy an assault rifle gun laws are so crazy I'm going to hide when you turn 18 see that house right there yep that's where the kid lives what does he look like he's got a blue helmet and a yellow shirt that says Jeffy on it you can't miss him it's his birthday so he's probably got a party going on all right what I'll do is I'll just go up to the house and pretend I'm there for the birthday party and when I see him I'll grab him and bring him back to the van good thing so Jeffy what are you going to do for your 18th birthday I might eat cake I might stick my wiener in an amp pile the possibilities are English I'm really digging your LGBT birthday napkins super homo yeah super dude thanks for giving us a shot no problem Cody Jeffy there's someone at the door stripper maybe hello hey I'm here to see the birthday boy we didn't hire a clown well someone did who listen man I don't ask questions I just do what I'm told I'm here to eat cake make snake balloons and SN Short Blow I mean a clown would make jeffy's birthday party really cool it sure would so come on inside planned on it Jeffy there was a special guest at the door was it the stripper no it was a clown now wait a minute I can strip too stop that we don't need that oh yes we do keep going stop that what just focus on making animal balloons oh darn I love my balloons out in my van which one of you kids wants to come out in my van with me and get the balloons o I will no I really think the birthday boy should come with me no the birthday boy needs to stay here and open his gifts no I really think the birthday boy should come out to the van with me no get one of the other kids to do it listen Bub I'm taking this kid with me whether you like it or not no you're not going to talk like that I didn't even hire a clown so you need to leave just get out of here come on oh rats go on get out of here hey Hey listen listen listen listen what I'm sorry get out of here oh damn it I got to get that kid what what happened where's Jeffy he didn't want to come to the van his dad said no what why would you tell him about the goddamn van nobody's willingly going to get into a van that's his free candy on it godamn it listen he's yelling at me you're yelling at me it's hurting my feelings well what are we going to do now how are we going to get Jeffy no hold on I'm thinking of something but think faster oh you know what I got it hold on I'll be back with the kid Jeffy are you ready to hit your pinata I have a pinata yeah it's waiting for you outside Jeffy oh I'm about to whack that [ __ ] a pinata that's so crazy all right kids everyone outside to hit the piñata yay all right Jeffy hit your Pata and make all the candy come out shouldn't he be blindfolded no it's jeffy's 18th birthday and we want to make sure he gets all the candy so hit it Jeffy stand back everyone yeah because I'm about to go AP [ __ ] on this horsey take this horsey where you go Mr lollipop get back here you crazy lollipop come here all right here's the kid this van is so crazy this lollipop hurts to eat what who the hell is this where's Jeffy I thought this was the kid no I said blue helmet yellow shirt Oh I thought you said blue shirt no helmet what are you knucking FS this is the wrong kid it is yes now we got to kill him so he doesn't tell on us why would I tell on you this van is cool okay listen kid you get out of this van and you run and you don't stop running okay I love running what do we do now okay since you can't do it right I have an idea now pull the van around in front of their house all right all right kids did everyone get some candy yeah all right Jeffy the next thing we're going to do is we're going to put candles on your cake and sing you happy birthday can you sing me Happy Birthday 18 times since it's my 18th birthday yeah Marvin you did say anything for jeffy's birthday uh I mean 18's a lot of times you sure you want 18 yes okay yeah yeah we'll sing it 18 times and can everyone dress up like me what why would we dress up like you Jeffy because it's my birthday and it would be fun if everyone dressed up like me all right everyone go put on a yellow shirt and a blue helmet to look like Jeffy I guess come on baby let's go dress up like Jeffy this is the coolest birthday ever everyone loves me can't believe I'm doing this I look ridiculous baby hurry up a Marvin it's just too big on me baby it looks like a dress look we have to dress up like Jeffy to make him happy on his birthday you really want that money huh baby I already told you this isn't about the money I would do this for anyone on their birthday you would do it for me on my birthday I mean listen baby it's not about the money breaking news world renowned painter ja Pierre Francois the famous painter we all presumed was dead turns out he's actually still alive he faked his death to make his paintings more valuable I have an exclusive interview with him now all right everyone I'm here with the now alive world renowned painter Jac Pierre Francois so tell us jacqu why would you fake your own death well you see paintings are worth more in the artist is dead and I was drowning and gambling Deads so I fak my own death and now my paintings are worth millions extraordinary but how did you fake your death you jumped off the bridge and we saw the splattered remains on the canvas well that was quite simple all I had to do is push a pig off the bridge and when it splatters on the canvas the body was unrecognizable and I bought that painting for $200 million and now that you're not dead that paintings not work [ __ ] that is as you Americans say too bad so sad I'm going to slap that stupid little pipe cleaner your mustache clean off your stupid face don't hate me cuz you ain't me well what about your son he was supposed to inherit your multi-million dollar Fortune H yes a boy listen son if you are watching this look into the camera look at your papa [ __ ] off well you heard it here first folks I'm out $200 million I will now celebrate my Millions by eating one of your American amb girls from the mcdonal king oh wow Marvin good thing it wasn't about the money otherwise you'd be really upset right now huh he's not getting any of the money I'm taking the Jeffy out off the G away and pop out the b you said it wasn't about the money of course it was about the money you think I would take care of him for years for free Marvin we love Jeffy I don't you might but I don't I definitely don't he's caught so much hell in my life he's broke stuff I want have gone Jeffy would be really upset right now if he heard the awful things you were saying I'm very upset for the things I heard on the news I thought we were going to get money baby I thought we were going to be paid that wasn't even your money that was jeffy's money I thought he was going to give us some I thought he was going to be like hey hey Marvin uh sorry for screwing your life over for the last few years here here a quick Millie it's quick Millie cash you honestly think Jeffy was going to share yes I thought he gave a [ __ ] out I am so mad I'm going to go throw his cake away I'm taking that damn king crown off his head I'm only singing him happy birthday once Marvin you're going to sing Happy Birthday to him 18 times on his birthday let's go no the only 18 thing that's happening is how old he's turning cuz he's out of the house no Marvin you don't mean that we're kicking him out of the house you think I'm going to deal with him for free he's not going to live with us till he's 30 or 40 I'll kill myself listen I am going to go tell Jeffy that he is gone when he leaves his house we we can see him happy birthday once but I'm taking that Crown we're gone stop right here stop right here all right what's the plan okay we're going to roll the windows down and then you're going to play some silly music so the kids think you're an ice cream truck and then when the kids come out to get that free candy you're going to grab Jeffy and I'm going to jump in the driver's seat and speed War that's a good idea I wish I would have thought about that all right roll your window down free candy [Music] kids okay Jeffy we're dressed up just like you yeah even Ken oh that's sick it's like I'm grw and you guys are my minions we got to get the girl another unicorn toy you guys hear that it sounds like an ice cream truck ooh ice cream I want ice cream mother F an ice cream truck this birthday is the tips let's go guys I can't believe it a free candy fan what a drink true I hope they have Starburst oh they better have Snickers dude I want mm's guys doesn't this seem a little suspicious how well it's a white van with free candy spray painted on it that's like typical kidnapper stuff Cody nobody kidnaps people anymore that's illegal yeah it's cameras everywhere dude yeah nobody was going to go to jail for kidnapping okay okay yeah I guess you guys are right this isn't sketchy at all Cody let's just go get our free candy and shut up oh here they come all the kids are coming good now you tell the kids they have to go to the back to get the candy and then you grab Jeffy and I'll speed off all right got it oh all right Jeffy let's hurry up and sing Happy Birthday and then you're getting the hell out of the house Jeffy where's Jeffy where's all the kids at uh Marvin I couldn't find any more balloons at the store don't yell at me I don't care we don't need any more balloons wait seriously you wanted balloons earlier I don't care about this party I don't care about these balloons we don't need anything thank God do you know where the kids are at Chef peipi I think they're outside at the ice cream truck getting ice cream ice cream truck yeah you don't hear it we want candy yeah do you have Skittles oh do you have three musketeers yeah yeah yeah I have all the Musketeers and mols just if you want candy meet me at the back of the van okay wait wait wait guys this is getting worse how he wants us to meet him at the back of the van yeah that's where he stores all his candy you see how big this van is oh dude just shut up okay but if somebody gets kidnapped don't come crying to me about it come on candy candy candy candy who wants candy we do oh please look for the sneakers first all right let me see if I got it nope no Snickers a man what other candy would you kids want uh do you have Starbucks what what the hey hey what are you doing go away Jeffy nope no Starburst a do you have circus peanuts let me check hurry up and grab them damn it all right they all look the same though what are you kids doing oh Jeffy all you kids go inside right now [Music] there all the candles are lit I can't believe we didn't get any ice cream or candy I don't even think they had candy Jeffy are you ready to blow out your birthday candles yeah are you guys going to sing Happy Birthday to me 18 times of course Jeffy but wait where's Marvin oh he was outside and he yelled at us to come inside and said we couldn't have any candy oh yeah he's in a bad mood Jeffy but he's been in a good mood all day I know but I think he has a headache or something are you ready to sing Happy Birthday to Jeffy yeah all right ready happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Jeffy happy birthday to you again again happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Jeffy happy birthday to you one more time from the top happy [Music] birthday all right Jeffy blow out the candles yay so Jeffy did you like your birthday today well you guys had me in the first half not going to lie but the second half blew major donkey balls what was wrong with the second half well for starters all the presents downstairs were just empty boxes wrapped with wrapping paper and daddy ran away well you know Jeff I think your dad's going through a midlife crisis today today of all days maybe he's at the store getting you real presents since your gift bags were empty we can only hope well do you want to watch some TV Jeffy ooh well since I'm 18 now can we watch Naughty shows I'm talking full frontal no Jeffy let's watch the news breaking news a prisoner in a Maximum Security Prison has escaped please be on the lookout for this woman pictured here her name is Nancy real mommy escape from pring uh Jeffy let's watch something else nudity no Jeffy mommy what if real mommy comes and tries to kidnap me we wouldn't let that happen you promise I promise okay good um Now where's Marvin I'm going to give him a call nipple time Jeffy change the channel mommy look at these rocking can Jeffy change the channel now St Jeffy stop it oh he didn't answer well he's missing a good show Jeffy I'm changing the channel no okay let me see Jeffy he's right here he is Mommy wait a minute what are you guys doing let me go this isn't Jeffy sure it is see the blue helmet and yellow shirt no no no this isn't Jeffy this is somebody else with a blue helmet and yellow shirt listen this is too hard can we try something easier wait wait you're jeffy's mom wait a minute you're the bozo who put me in jail well no no you put yourself in jail but I had nothing to do with it okay look I don't want you I wanted Jeffy so I could take his millions of dollars that I rightly deserve well good luck getting that money because his dad's not dead he's actually alive and he's not giving Jeffy any of the money nice try you really expect me to believe that wa it's on the news you just turn it on yeah right you'll say anything to get me to let you go now I have a better idea for you I'm going to hold you hostage until Jeffy gives me that money he doesn't have the money well if he doesn't give me the money you're dead hey can I use your phone sure I got to call his family all right what's jeffy's number jeffy's number why do you need his number because I'm going to call Jeffy and you're going to tell him you're kidnapped and that you're going to die if he doesn't give me that money he's not going to believe me well we're going to try anyway oh okay his his number is I'm changing the channel Jeffy no you're not I've waited 18 years to watch shows like this you're not going to take this from me you can wait a little longer wait wait wait my phone's ringing maybe it's Marvin no it's not my phone yeah my phone Yello you have reached the plug please shiby shiby go on talk uh Jeffy it's it's me sh shiby what say shiby uh shiby wa what was that was it some kind of code no he told me to do that before I talked just say what I told you damn it hey Jeffy it's me Marvin uh I was kidnapped sorry wrong number what who was that Jeffy it was some salesman trying to sell me a card's extended warranty but you don't have a card exactly why I hung up on him a you're so smart Jeffy I know what'd he say oh he thought it was a wrong number God damn it make him believe you or I'll shoot you in the head oh call my wife call my wife okay Jeffy hold on my phone's ringing it's a block number hello talking no funny business uh hey baby Marvin where are you why are you calling from a block number oh it's a long story so I got oh my God are you calling from a side chick's phone what side chick would I have listen baby look I'm kidnapped and they want millions of dollars so can you Marvin is this your sick way of trying to make money because jeffy's dad really isn't dead wait he's not baby no I'm not trying to make money I can't believe you abandoned Jeffy on his birthday you're a dead beat dad no I'm kidnapped I didn't I guess just come home whatever you feel like hang up okay what' she say uh she thinks I'm a dead beat dad and I left Jeffy on his birthday oh God damn it that's it I'm killing him get my gun no no no no don't get the gun okay how about one of you call him because you guys have scary voices so who has the scarier voice she does okay mommy is my real dad really alive yes he is Jeffy well I want to meet him no I don't think you do just don't watch the news no I want to meet him cuz I bet real daddy wouldn't leave me in my own birthday party I don't know about that Jeffy wait my phone's ringing I bet it's Marvin what do you want Marvin if you ever want to see Marvin again you'll give me $5 million wait this isn't Marvin no it's not and if you ever want to see Marvin again give me $5 million what's going on okay I kidnapped Marvin and if you want to see him again you will give me $5 million but I don't have $5 million well then I guess you're not going to see Marvin again what should I kill him now no don't do that um I'll just call you back in 5 minutes what okay wait but uh you called from a block number so I don't have your number oh yeah hold on what what is your number mine no the guy who's tied up what's his number no I was being sarcastic yes your number well then you should have said something you should have said hey screw ball what's your phone number hey screw ball what what is your phone number 555 555 5 55 56 it's it's all fives with the six at the end you can't screw it up okay I I'll call back in 5 minutes okay Jeffy your dad's been kidnapped which one Marvin oh well good he Jered it he left me at my own birthday party oh I'm going to call the cops what' they say they're going to call me back but if they don't call me back in 5 minutes I'm killing you oh they're going to call back hey there somebody called the cops and I brought backup cuz in case you haven't heard there's a goon on the loose and she's a real Rascal that goon so have you seen any goons what about you kid you look like you've seen a goon or two that goon kidnapped my husband it's the woman that escaped from prison that was on the news I'm sorry what the woman on the news that escaped from prison see I just distinctly didn't hear you say happy birthday to the birthday boy oh is it your birthday today nobody loves me I'm so sorry it's just it's my son's birthday today so oh yeah God I hate people who have the same birthday as me I wish they'd all die can we focus here please this woman kidnapped my husband she's asking for $5 million or she's going to kill him wait you contacted by the woman who escaped from prison you hear that Simmons we have a lead we have a lead we have a lead so where is she I don't know she called from a blocked phone number a blocked phone number we lost the lead we lost the lead we lost the lead but she did give me her phone number she gave you a phone number she gave you her phone number she gave you her phone number okay great so we can just call her so we can just call her so we sim Simmons stop stop singing it's starting to piss me off okay so we can just call her and hear her demands yes but I already told you her demand she wants $5 million or she's going to kill Marvin Hey listen you've never met a negotiator like me I can get that price way down you should have seen me get my Hyundai Sonata I got them to Take 5 grand off the sticker oh man it was great hey you you want to ride in my Hyundai Sonata no please can we just focus and call this come on you got to take a ride in my Sonata come on there she is that's my baby it's very nice now can we pleas it is very nice I insist you take a ride in her no that's not NE NE can we please go call it's very necessary when you feel the seats are going to be in heaven I'll take your word for it please let's go call take my word for it come on let's take a ride oh man I love being in this car it's way more comfy than the cop car which I have to go get in soon yes this car is very impressive now can we please this car has so many features like check this out you're going to love this you know what that is that's a blind spot camera so if some little brat tries running up on me while I'm turning I can see them it's very convenient can we go back inside I got all of these features for a steal at the Hyundai Sunday Sales Event I'm so happy for you can we please go call CH I think we should take a quick little ride around the neighborhood no come on come on you love it oh man how lucky are you you got to ride my Sonata not a lot of people get to do that not even my daughter you know cuz she eats crackers and the crumbs get between the seats oh big mess can we please huge mess can we please and then you got to get in there with a vacuum and that takes forever and it's l can and then you got to pay the vacuum with quarters and that just sucks can we please call the woman now oh yeah we can call it just hold on it's ringing hello hey there ma'am I just wanted to let you know that this is the police and you're going to jail [ __ ] say hi Simmons hi Simmons No Simmons you're supposed to just call her a [ __ ] [ __ ] you hear that that's my buddy Simmons and he's going to kick your ass I sure am yeah he'll hit a woman he doesn't care I don't care he doesn't care Oh no you're not cuz I got a hostage oh man I hate when they have hostages what do you want I want $5 million you're going to meet me in the field you know the one oh yeah of course I know the field it's thei field it's the one field you're going to meet me in the field in an hour with $5 million and Jeffy cuz I want to say hi to him okay okay but but hear me out how about $3 million no it's $5 million or I kill this guy right now oh damn you're not playing so I don't get the Hyundai Sunday Sales Event price no okay Simmons when we get there we're going to shoot her in the face and no weapons oh come on that's not fair so do we have a deal okay stupid I didn't get anything out of that phone call I'm sorry mate what did she say she wants us to meet her in the field in an hour with $5 million and Jeffy but we don't have $5 million yeah I know so when she gets there you and I are just going to tackle her I mean it's two against one and she's had no weapon so I think we can take her yeah come on Jeffy let's go see her so what's happening we're going to meet the cops and Jeffy in an hour to trade you for the money yes screw ball why would we meet with the cops wouldn't they just shoot us no because I told them no weapons oh that's smart but but guess who's going to bring their gun who me well that's not fair shouldn't you tell them so it's fair no I don't care if it's fair come on we're going [Music] okay okay Simmons I'm assuming they're in the van that says free candy on it oh mate you think we can get some free candy I don't think they have any free candy Simmons well why would they put it on the van if it's not true I'm going to take a wild gas and say it so they can kidnap people but that's illegal I know and that's why we're going to arrest them so what we're going to do is we're going to get out of the van and we're going to play good cop we're going to be like hey we got your money and then bam we whoop our ass and then we save Marvin we get the key to the city and the chief is going to give us promotions sounds good mate all right Jeffy you stay here all right [ __ ] where he ow God damn it no Simmons I'm not all right I closed the door in my head out you need to go to the hospital no we're doing this hold on okay look we brought your money and we didn't bring any weapons well I did bring a weapon so show me the money or I'm going to blow his head off that's not fair that's not fair that's not fair we said No weapons we were going to beat your ass huh you really thought I was stupid enough not to bring a gun Now show me the money or I'm going to shoot him and all he use well you see it's actually kind of a funny story cuz we didn't bring the money cuz me and Simmons thought we could beat you up all right that's it I'm killing him no no no no no no wait wait wait don't don't shoot him we Jeffy in the back of the car you wanted him right okay hand over Jeffy uh Jeffy could you come out of the car hey Mommy Jeffy run hey Jeffy mommy missed you now come to Mommy go hey at least we saved barvin right go on Jeffy a well you're not going to let her take Jeffy are you we don't have any weapons bro I don't know what you want us to do hey Jeffy happy birthday okay since you didn't bring my money I'm taking Jeffy with me and whenever you want to stop playing games maybe we can make make another deal come on oh Danny help me she took him she really just took him I mean hey at least you don't have to deal with him anymore well I know but like I don't want anything bad to happen to him why what do you care you always complaining about him anyway well I know I just I still care about him yeah I mean look on the bright side at least it's a nice day for it you know it's not too hot not too cold you know if my kid were to get kidnapped I'd want it to be in weather like this true what you guys got to do something come on Chase the B we can't do anything man we don't have any weapons and she has a handgun she could shoot all of us wait mate don't we have a sniper rifle in the trunk of the car oh yeah we do have a sniper rifle in the trunk of the car okay Simmons I want you to camp out somewhere get up in one of these trees and shoot out her tires on it okay Marvin me and you going to chase that van down come on let's go someone's going to die today all right Marvin you're about to see how I drove on my dri's test when I was 16 poorly there she is there she is catch up with her I'll trying [Music] man scall hurry up he's gain it on us Jer why are you trying to hurt momy I hate you man she is driving like crazy I guess I can add reckless driving to the list of charges you know I can make corny cop puns because we're in a police chain we're just focus on the road okay Jeffy I'm sick of you I never loved you you were an accident after I get my money I'm going to kill you and bury you in the deepest hole I can find and then I'm going to kill your other F Daddy help me rammer you should rammer okay I'm going to do a pit maneuver yeah go wait wait wait what's going on what's going on what's going on oh [ __ ] what I ran out of gas ran out of gas well she's getting away can we get more gas H I don't see any gas stations in this [ __ ] field do you well no but she's getting away it's up to Simmons now Simmons I need you to shoot those tires out right now I'm on it mate hold steal you bastard uh Simmons you are only supposed to shoot the tires whoops jeffy's Dead uh uh dispatch we we need we need an ambulance and a fire trucks just just just all of it get out here now Marvin oh my God Marvin thank God you're okay and no one was hurt oo uh Simmons I think we should probably leave why this is about to be really sad Marvin where's Jeffy uh he's uh he's not coming back baby what do you mean he isn't coming back where is he his uh his his mom took him no she didn't mvin we have to go back there we have to go get him get the cops no he he's dead baby he's dead what are you talking about Marvin listen the mom took him in the van and the van exploded and and Jeffy died in the explosion exploded no no Marvin Jeffy can't be gone no he just can't he can't go go get Jeffy he's dead baby he's dead but he's not coming he's not coming back Marvin no it can't be real this is this isn't happening it's his birthday today Marvin no I know I know he died baby I know I should have been nicer to him I just can't believe this is happening I know I know that's our baby boy I know we should have I should have been nicer to him I shouldn't have I shouldn't have been mean to him on his birthday I'm sorry if I had a chance I'd say sorry I wish he was here right now no Jeffy oh man Simmons I feel bad but you must feel way worse cuz you [ __ ] suck at shooting this was entirely your your fault it was a moving Target mate gas cap Tire big difference Simmons but they're both round okay Simmons let's just go I just wish Jeffy was back I know baby I miss Jeffy too I wish I could just hear him do that annoying sound One More Time Marvin that was a really good impression what that wasn't me I thought it was you what don't be sad Daddy it's not like you had to walk 50 mi in the dark getting eaten by mosquitoes on your birthday what Jeffy you're alive my God yeah I jumped down the back of the van before it exploded what yeah this is what happened uh hey we're almost out of gas then find the gas station Jeffy Jeffy no Jeffy Jeffy die [ __ ] so that's what happened thank God you're home Jeffy yeah we love you so much Jeffy well it's not like every day you kill your mom on your birthday well Jeffy listen I know you're 18 but you don't have to move out of the house you can stay here as long as you want because I I can't imagine life without you because I've gotten so used to you I know I know I was mad at you today on your birthday but that was just because I thought we were getting money but I don't care about the money I I just want you Jeffy I love you so much a love you too Mommy and Daddy but I didn't plan on going anywhere who's at the door hold on hello hey what are you doing here I just wanted to say I'm sorry I thought you died you were driving the van no I heard a gunshot and I got scared and jumped out uh hey we're almost out of gas then find the gas station what Jeffy Jeffy no Jeffy Jeffy gunshots I'm out of here so do you accept my apology get out of here I don't want to see every again I'll call the cops right now who was at the door Marvin it was one of the kidnappers what I already called the cops hey there you call me oh hey you're not dead how the hell did that happen listen listen one of the kidnappers at the door he survived oh hey that means nobody died today well actually I shot my mom in the face before the van exploded oh okay well well with the explosion there's no trace of the body so that means no paperwork for me and that's the best birthday present I could ask for this video is about me it should have been called Brooklyn guys 45th birthday no balls name at that so guys what do you want to do today I'm getting kind of hungry me too dude yeah I guess I'm hungry also me four so what do you want to eat you want to go to McDonald's and get some Happy Meals sounds like a plan Junior yeah let's do it dude what the news is on you guys the news is on Junior turn up the news I need to hear it okay damn breaking news Okay McDonald's is now offering adult Happy Meals happy meals for adults you must be 18 years or older to purchase these Happy Meals if you are caught purchasing or eating these adult happy meals under the age of 18 the penalty can be up to a year in jail adult Happy Meals dude I wish I could have one yeah me too but guys we're not 18 yet they're adult happy meals for a reason we're just going to have to stick to Little Baby [ __ ] meals until we turn 18 well I'm 18 years old so I can have an adult Happ Happy Meal lucky that's so crazy it's not fail you get to have one a we can't wait we're hanging out with an 18-year-old wait what if Jeffy goes and buys adult happy meals for us yeah I'll drive but guys that's illegal if we get caught we're going to go to jail God I hate you shut the hell up shut shut up damn it yeah God we're going to do something cool we eat adult Happy Meals just stop saying things and come on okay I'm so excited to get the adult Happy Meal me too Junior make sure mine's nuggets mine too dude all right check it we're all adults so can I get four adult Happy Meals all with chicken nuggets and Sprite and of course you know we want that honey mustard so cool happy adult Happy Meals yes yes yeah the nuggets with honey mustard and Sprites absolutely what if they ID us we're not 18 shut up Cody oh hopefully they don't ID us I know you better hide in the back they're not going to ID you that's so cool I can't believe we got our adult Happy Meals they didn't even ID us I know Junior here let's sing the We got adult Happy Meals song we just got adult happy meals and we are going to eat them yes we are going to eat them yes we are going to eat them yes we are going to eat them and they're going to be delicious wait what's that noise oh my God you guys it's the cops we're getting pulled over run [ __ ] uh dispatch I'm trying to pull over a car with an expired tag but stand by it doesn't look like they're pulling over Jeffy the cops pull over no Junior I can out run them no pull over yeah Jeffy keep going I'll bust a few shots at him to scare him away what you never Take Me Alive die [ __ ] Jesus Christ dispatch is shooting at me I need backup I'm all out of ammo Jeffy pull over we're going to run for it all right jph I'm pulling over yeah pull over pull over pull over okay okay I think they're pulling over I don't know what they're doing I'm going to proceed with caution okay everyone run grab your Happy Meals I'm out of here [Music] dude guys my seat Bel stuck help wait where did you put your seat belt on he was driving crazy I didn't want to go through the windshield Cody it's stuck and the cops right there I got to run I got to run no oh they get out of the car they're running I'm pursuing on foot he dude oh dude the cop's getting Cody just leave him leave him leave him no he's going to snitch Cody would not do that dude he's the biggest snitch I know you're you're right we have to get Cody yeah he can't take all three of us let's go aha caught by the seat belt huh well you and your friends are in a lot of trouble but if you snitch I'll let you go ow time up guys time up time up time up get in there all right now let's go home and eat our ad Happy Meals yeah sit down right there and shut up while we eat our adult Happy Meals yeah punk what you guys kidnapped a cop yeah we didn't want to to arrest you but guys now our charges are going to be 10 times worse than they already were what were our Charges going to be before well before it was just going to be us getting these adult Happy Meals but now it's kidnapping eluding the police shooting at the police assault and battery and expired tags well look now we have to kill them cuz you say admitted to everything in front of him oh dude where's the baseball bat well Joseph before we kill him let's eat our adult Happy Meal o yeah what toy do we get ooh cool I got the Hamburglar I got old ducky high on quack oh I got a french fried guy wait they didn't give me a toy Junior how would an adult react I'm going to go home and beat my wife exactly okay you know what actually go back to being a kid they didn't give me a to my don't happy me yeah that's actually better dumb this St thing is stupid and dumb yeah I don't really get why these can't be for kids and I also don't really get why he has four eyes and looks like he was drawn by a 5-year-old yeah don't have are dumb maybe the food tastes different maybe maybe it tastes like for adults Well ma'am I don't know how to tell you this but your husband's been kidnapped and we don't even know if he's still alive oh my poor boy there there ma'am if you ever need a rebound I'm available everyone back off She's Mine I've been waiting for this moment for years Ken if you ever ever need a pelvis to cry on mine's freshly saved I don't think I'm ready to move on just yet oh sure you are I sure you are listen why don't we go back to my place and grab some drinks maybe some orange juice I don't think that sounds safe for me oh it's going to be super safe we just s a missionary okay everybody get the hell out of my office this chicken nugget doesn't taste any different than a normal Happy Meal yeah and these fries are no different than the free medium french fries I get from McDonald's every week which I guess I'll have next week cuz I have these right now I mean the is pretty cool though dude look I'm a French Fred man his name is not French Fred man his name is Cactus buddy what he doesn't even look like a cactus dude he looks like a french fry I have no idea what's going on the news yeah breaking news a police officer has been kidnapped if you've seen this police officer call 911 immediately the kidnappers are believed to be armed and extremely dangerous junior did you hear the news hear what they said on the news J you hear you hear the news yes Cody I heard the news you did you he heard the news yeah they're looking for the cop that we kidnapped guys we're going to go to jail for a million billion bajillion years no we're not Cody no one's ever going to find out the cop is here how Junior we can't keep him here forever sure we can we can take care of him we can feed him adult Happy Meals we can feed them french fries and chicken nuggets or we could just eat them like Jeffrey dmer did did someone say Jeffrey no he said Jeffrey oh close enough no no no one's eating anyone listen we can take care of them guys like taking care of a baby all we got to do is feed him and he'll be good okay wouldn't you like that little fell look at that he's on his head he's so happy guys I don't want to be a part of this I'm getting out of here before the cops come but I'm taking the Hamburglar with me well don't take the hamburger that's the coolest one yeah all right let's take the duct tape off of them and see if we can reason with them okay dude you kids aren't going to get away with this I've seen your faces dude he's really pissing me off can I kill him now no we're not going to kill him we're going to work out a deal why are you so cranky Mr Officer do you want a chicken nugget or a french fry no I do not want a chicken nugget or a french fry you guys kidnapped me I want you to let me go we're not going to let you go cuz then you're going to arrest us yes I will well then there's no reason for us to let you go cuz you're going to arrest us uh okay well maybe I can talk to the judge and get you a light of sentence that's not good enough yeah I need $50 million a private jet and two tickets to see drinking concert what that's completely unreasonable I can't get those things well well just the two tickets to see drinking concert then how about you just drop our charges and we'll let you go but no I can't do any of that okay then we're not going to let you go until you drop the charges and you sign a contract saying you're not going to arrest us and it's notorized nobody's going to notarize anything if they see me tied up well then I'll get a blind notary what would be the point of a blind notary I don't know Jeffy do you know a notary yeah I know a notary I'll go get him all right he's going to go get a notary you're going to notarize a document saying you're not going to arrest us yeah hey Junior I think I found your notary when I asked him if he was your notary he went uh what no you have to get out of here you're part of the bad company that tried to sue us well no he's actually owned by Microsoft he is yeah he's owned by Rare which is a subsidiary of Microsoft but his first game was on the 64 console yeah but then Microsoft bought the rights to him that's why the third game is so shitty on the Xbox 360 but he's in the new Smash fighting game well yeah but I'm pretty sure in the clear no I don't want to risk it you should just get out of here I I don't want to get sued so what are we going to do now wait what kind of toys did you guys get with these adult Happy Meals uh we got the cactus buddy we got the birdie and we got the Hamburglar you got the Hamburglar that's super rare I want one of those well Cody has it and he left okay okay I'll tell you what if you can get me the Hamburglar I'll pretend none of this ever happened and I'll drop all the charges oh but but but Cody has the hamburger out his house look if you can get him from your friend then we can have a deal okay guys we have to go to Cody's house and get the hamburger cuz he'll drop all the charges okay dude okay that was a good distraction now get me the hell out of here all right guys we're going to knock on the door Cody's going to give us the hamburger and they're going to drop all the charges all right let's do it hello oh Tyrone come look Christmas Carol is they're early O Christmas caress wait wait sing the one with the red nose it's October sing it rudol the red nose reindeer a no no no no it's all wrong it's off key damn it now bring me some Jeffy ping we're not Christmas carers we're here to see Cody oh he's in his bedroom with his new Dolly yeah we want to go see him oh no no when Cody gets a new Dolly he likes to uhou it mhm yeah it's true well he said that we could come see it oh okay he's experimenting with something new come right in freaking oh Hamburglar What secrets do you have in your mind hey Cody what guys what are you doing here you didn't bring the cops here did you no but we need the Hamburglar back but no he's mine but the cop said if we give him the Hamburglar he'll drop all the charges well of course he said that this is the coolest toy well look we have to take it cuz we want the charges drop but no I'm not letting you have him Joseph Jeffy tack him no no no no no get off me Cody I'm going to go give the toy to the cop and when the Chargers are dropped we'll come back no no my Hamburglar bring me back my Hamburglar all right Simmons when they get back we're going to tackle them and arrest them well how many are there mate there's four I get two you get two well what if they're really strong they're not strong Simmons they're kids well they were strong enough to kidnap you and T you up yeah well don't worry about it Simmons we got this okay they're coming hi all right I got the Hamburglar toy wait where' the officer go get him Simmons I'm under arrest I thought you could kidnapped me huh where are your friends they already left the country well looks like you're getting all the charges then cuff them Simmons I don't have any handcuffs but really you don't have any handcuffs no I don't want to go to jail yeah well maybe you should have thought about that before you got those Happy Meals and you fleed from me and you beat me up and you kidnapped me and you you did all that oh look I got you the hamburger toy you said you'd leave me alone you think I care about this stupid little toy look we got to work out a deal I Won't Last a Day in jail please H work something out huh like like some kind of game okay I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10 if you can guess what that number is I'll let you go uh seven damn it um if you can guess that number again I'll let you go U seven damn it oh come on I didn't think you'd guess seven again I thought it was being tricky okay if you can guess that number a third time I will let you go uh four ha it was three you suck balls suck ball says what what you Su balls you're under arrest haha oh come on you said if I got you the hamburger toy you would drop all the charges and you actually believed me did you really say that mate what that if the kid got you the hamburgler toy you'd let him go well yeah but I needed a distraction you can't just lie to the kid like that that makes you a liar is that really the example you want to set for children being a liar no but I mean you know if you're a liar Santa Claus won't come see you mate no but I got such a long list this year well then you need to do the right thing and tell the truth okay fine I guess you can go and I'm going to drop all the charges and blah blah blah blah and all the noise noise noise noise noise in the last can of who has okay so I'm free to go yeah I guess so but mate the captain wanted us to arrest someone H well I guess we could arrest the Hamburglar we could just say he was trying to burgle my hamburgers well your mom was trying to burgle my hamburgers last night oh come on Simmons all right let's get out of here mate okay kid we're leaving but I'm going to leave you with this no be it stop it knock it off all right crash I am so mad I am so angry cuz one of you stupid little kids pooped in the sink in the bathroom so when I went to wash my hands I got poop out over my hands so I want to know which one of you did it hey dinner it was me so no one's going to fess up to it huh H all right so that means the whole crash is going to get punished so you guys are going to have to write sentences write sentences he can write these nuts all right class since no one wants to admit to pooping in the sink all of you are going to have to write I will not poop in the sink 1,000 times okay so get started 1,000 times hey Junior look what I drew it's the teacher Jackie poop oh who pooping a s teacher Jeffy drew a picture of you shut up Jesus Christ crass I can't enjoy my cat dog chicken and my forun cookies without you interrupting me Jeffy let me see the picture let me see that now let's see what we have here oh ha very funny Jeffy Jackie poo because my name's Jackie Chu and you just replaced the CH with poo because I got poo on my hand anyway Jeffy because you decided to be a comedian today you now have to write 10,000 sentences okay that is your homework what ha good luck runting all those sentences loser look at him run away like a little baby ding ding ding are those boxing gloves night night I so tired of creaming Jeffy go to the principal's office what's wrong Mario I have this weird feeling that Jeffy did something bad in this corner recently suspended from school assault charges pending weighing in at 120 lb Jeffy the bully Slayer ding ding ding we have a winner woo great job kid you're an animal that's my boy right there what's going on officer oh well your kid beat the crap out of another kid at school Jeffy why would you do that cuz he made me mad what's going to happen officer well now he's getting suspended for 10 days yes this one talking about daddy uhhuh take that yeah uhhuh yeah or he could take anger management classes and still go to school well he definitely needs anger management classes cuz he's going to stay in school I don't need anger management classes okay well clearly you do who's going to teach him anger management well that would be Dr me who's that really me I'm the doctor you're looking at him you you really dating somebody that's stupid okay look look he needs anger management so so do what whatever you have to do all right let me go change hey there somebody call a doctor Dr me it's so good to finally meet you okay we're going to get you checked after this cuz there's something wrong up there Jeffy stop playing your cat Pio the doctor's here hey there Jeffy it's nice to finally meet meet you Jeffy okay Jeffy we're going to try some angga management exercises okay now the first thing we're going to try is taking a deep breath when we're mad like this ready can you do that for me what Daddy Jeffy stop it see poy okay no never mind we're not going to do breathing exercises uh okay try this okay how about this now whenever you get mad try counting to 10 until you calm down let's try that now uh I just got to make you mad how am I going to do that yeah oh yeah there yeah this stupid thing give me this yeah just my cat piano oh it's a cat piano is that what it is what's stupid I mean like make up your mind are you a cat or are you a piano like what's this do meow so predictable it makes meow sounds it's so dumb people who like this are dumb this is [Music] dumb okay now count to 10 1 2 3 4 what comes after four I'm not going to tell you what comes after four like what are you stupid you dumb like this piano ow okay all right never mind that didn't work uh okay I have another plan do you have any balloons wait what all right Jeffy this one's called the balloon exercise now do you have that needle I gave you yep right here okay good now what we're going to do we're going to pretend this balloon is a person and he's going to insult you what I need you to do is hold back your anger and try not to pop the balloon do you pop the ball balloon you fail got it okay all right here we go oh Jeffy you're so stupid and ugly I'm glad I don't look like you which is stupid and ugly no see Jeffy that's bad you're not supposed to pop the balloon Jeffy you're not supposed to pop the balloon all okay let's try this one Jeffy get out of my swamp you're too stupid and ugly to be in my swamp no see you're not supposed to pop Shrek that's bad Jeffy hold your anger back I'm trying zoink scoob it's Jeffy don't give him any Scooby Snacks he's stupid and ugly no it's bad Jeffy you're not supposed to top these balloons all right let's try this one n Jeffy it's me the Terminator n you're so stupid and ugly put the cookie down no not quite Jeffy Jeffy you're failing all right I got one more for you Jeffy ravioli ravioli give me the form you oldie well I actually like plank D you there there you go that's great okay good we're making progress but but he popped four balloons well yeah but he didn't pop this one so he's doing good okay follow me Jeffy all right all right Jeffy this is called the sore loser exercise so for this exercise I'm going to beat the crap out of you in air hockey and you have to try not to get mad like a little [ __ ] which believe me is going to be hard cuz I'm going to own you an air hockey cuz I'm the best at air hockey you're going to be like how is he so good at air hockey and I'm like I don't know it's just a natural gift I have all right so turn it on all right Jeffy this Puck is going in that hole ready okay that's fine begin his luck I I let you have that one no problem all right prepare for a slaughtering here we go all right all right I like a good comeback story you're not getting another Point all right all right I know you think you're good but you're not okay I let you do that so you'll be more mad when I win okay now get ready all right all right you're kind of starting to piss me off a little bit but that's fine that's fine F all right get ready I'm going to wreck you all right all right I was playing around but now I'm not playing anymore okay I I let you get a five-point lead because that's what you're going to need if you ever want to beat me okay but I'm not playing around anymore this is for Real ready all right all right oh yeah you have a six-point lead yeah I know the first to seven wins okay I know but don't worry I'm going to make a comeback it's fine I can do it I'm going to win you watch I can see getting mad over there I can see it in your eyes but don't worry I'm not mad I'm not mad no I'm cool I'm cool as a cucumber okay get ready to be mad cuz I'm going to win come on come on oh that is it oh oh no no I'm going to strangle you oh you come here come here K get out of him but he cheated how he he put like butter on the puck or something I don't know he made it faster look you need anger management no come on let's do another exercise all right Jeffy now we're going to try pet therapy give me the G so whenever you get mad you just pet a little kitty like this you know like me whenever I lose an air hockey you know how that makes me mad because I was all state and I lose to some little chump who doesn't really know what he's doing and he probably cheated and that's probably why he won in the first place which is ridiculous because I'm a champion well you made the cat run off yeah yeah I'm sorry about that okay it's fine let's try something else okay all right Jeffy now we're going to try something I like to call Money therapy which is what I do and all the other things I try don't work so I just try to bribe the person to stop being mad so I can go home okay all right so I'm going to sit here and insult you and every time I insult you and you don't get mad I'll give you a dollar how does that sound sounds good to me all right let's get started Jeffy you are so ugly that when you were born your mother asked the doctor if you were a boy or a girl and the doctor just said ugly all right here you go all right Jeffy you are so ugly you look like your mom get pregnant from a dirty toilet seat okay good it's working Jeffy you are super Calif fragilistic x adus no okay that's that's good okay all right you are so dumb you wouldn't remember to breathe if your brain didn't tell you to wow okay this is working it is working okay all right you are so dumb that when you say your ABCs you just stop there yeah it's pretty good right yeah it's good yeah all right all right this is good this is good are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion all right I think that worked it works okay so if we pay him he just doesn't get mad yeah I think this is pretty full proof no why did you call me all those names but but I gave you I gave you the money though no you had to give me more money did not give M I'm never going to forget that that's all the money I have do do you have any money I don't have any money why did you come me those things do something do something I don't know let's try something else all right doctor what do we do I don't know I don't know how about we just try asking Jeffy what calmed him down the most okay uh Jeffy ever everything we've done today what calmed you down the most well I really like the money thing we can't do that we don't have all the money in the world well the breathing exercise helped a daddy seey okay well I don't want Jeffy doing that either well would you rather him go to jail for beating somebody up no you're just going to have to live with it then um Daddy can I play video games all night no a Daddy please give it to me okay okay okay fine fine okay fine I I guess whenever you get mad you can just do that noise just just not just don't beat people up hey there how's it going what what's going on oh this is Dr to me that I was telling you about yeah with twins I knew there was two of them guys are you ready to go back to school no dude I hate school yeah school sucks what are you talking about guys school's awesome no it's not Cody why are you such a nerd yeah why are you such a geek come on guys school's great we get to learn new stuff every day like math and science and social study it's so cool it's the power of learning it's not worth it he's speaking nonsense I know I know dude okay everybody calm down and just look at my new backpack wa e it's Hello Kitty yeah it sure is look at its little cat ears and its cat face and it's all sparkly and it's bulletproof cuz well you know well check out my backpack it's also bulletproof and it's Pokémon Edition wo dude that is awesome yeah junior did you just tape poir over all the other Pokémon no it came like this but Junior I see charmander's tail in Pikachu's ears no no you don't you're just saying stuff yeah Joseph where's your backpack uh wait we're supposed to have backpacks yeah how you going to take your stuff to school oh yeah I I forgot I have a backpack uh let me go and get mine uh do you think a back I don't know oh voila look at my backpack guys backpack yeah it's very very expensive dude yeah I mean you spelled backpack wrong but other than that it's cool dude I didn't spell it wrong it was the designer oh yeah oh that that's a really cool backpack and guess what dude I can carry my lunch and my books in here W that's awesome I know oh wait wait speaking of lunch I think Chef peipe is making me lunch for school today so let me get that and then we'll go head to school okay okay dude Chef peipe are you done packing my lunch for school yeah Junior and I packed it in this lunch box that I made for you you made this yes I made this has a picture of your face on it oh I know because you think about me all the time don't you uh no but I guess when I see your face on my lunchbox I'll think about you you better and it even has my famous catchphrase on it every day is Taco Tuesday you say that all the time I know because every day is Taco Tuesday so did you pack me tacos for lunch oh no we ran out what what yeah all I could find was this orange spiky fruit you might not want to touch it it's it's probably poisonous and I got some mayo chup and some cheese garlic and and a egg oh thanks for the lunch Che peee oh you're welcome now take your stupid lunch and go to school you little brat okay guys guys look Chef peipe made me my own lunchbox oh dude that is so awesome wow and it even has chef pee's catchphrase on it every day is Taco Tuesday well I've never heard him say that ever what he said that all the time yeah dude he's never said that sh he says at least once per video Cody every day is Taco Tuesday see look you can't stop this man from saying it they can't stop me is this a dream am I in a dream Cody he says it all the time right shfp yeah yeah all the time sh Chef Pee can I get a taco yes because every day is Taco Tuesday see stop saying it get out of here sorry he says it all the time um okay can we just go to school now yeah yeah let's all go welcome back crft I hope you all had a really great summer but now it's time we get get back to work and this year is going to be the hardest year of school that you ever had there's going to be a rot of math a rot of Science and a rot of homework so let me go get all of your homework huh a bunch of homework hey Junior I didn't like it hey Junior he didn't like it but I like it I like homework a lot you actually like homework yeah of course Junior now I guess we have to get some paper out of our backpacks yeah let me get some paper out of my backpack wait Jeffy you don't have a backpack P what's your backpack it's a pack that goes on your back and you stick stuff in it oh well I got a diaper I can stick stuff in that I got a nose I can stick stuff in that I got a butt I can stick Jeffy Jeffy you have to have a backpack I don't have to yes you do the teacher's going to get mad n he he's going to get mad he's going to get mad Jeff okay whatever guess you don't need a backpack all right class this is your homework for the first night it's math test no calculator and I know you use a calculator cuz I want you to show your work so everyone take their homework and put it in their backpack hey Jeffy why you know how backpack I didn't like it oh you don't like it well I hope you like carrying around all this homework every single night hey loser where's your backpack I didn't like it you don't like it or you're just too poor to afford one I didn't like it yeah we'll check out my backpack it has superheroes on it I didn't like it okay whatever you don't even have a backpack everyone has a backpack even Joseph has a backpack yeah loser loser oh hey Jeffy how was school Jeffy why are you crying cuz School Daddy I didn't like it I know you don't like school Jeffy but you have to go to school what day I keep getting made fun of well that's going to happen Jeffy look in the mirror okay I got made fun of today because I didn't have a backpack well you don't need a backpack Jeffy you don't do your school anyway well I want one well Jeffy why don't you just put stuff in your diaper well Daddy I told him I could do that but they still made fun of me okay fine Jeffy I guess you do need a backpack I'll go to the store and get you the best backpack I can buy good all right Jeffy I went to the store and got you a Minecraft backpack it was the most expensive backpack at the store oh beepy what does that mean you like or no I like it I like it I like it I like it you did good Daddy give me some glove a glove too slow daddy you know what Jeffy fine here's your backpack for school I hope you enjoy it and just go to school tomorrow and pay attention grape grape all right craft I hope you all did your homework last night cuz tonight we got 900 more pages of homework let me go get you some more homework I got a backpack should talk poop now I I dare you I double dog dare you to get off in this nice Minecraft backpack loser what is it 2009 oh you messed up now I got my enchanted sword that I crafted in Minecraft using obsidian and Barney hugs you can't have that at school yes I can ow don't hit me you didn't like it teacher hey there Mario hey what are you doing here well your son got in trouble today at school Jeffy got in trouble Jeffy you got in trouble at school today Jeffy why' you get in trouble Jeffy answer me answer me Jeff stop why'd he get in trouble well he brought this to school a toy sword oh it's not just any toy sword it's an enchanted diamond toy sword Jeffy why'd you take toys to school Jeffy don't take toys he won't do it again officer well he didn't just bring it to school he HD a kid with it and now the kid wants to press charges but I didn't feel like doing all the paperwork so I told the kid no he couldn't do that now I'm sure I'll be hearing about that later but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it that's fuch's problem okay well you know what Jeffy no taking toys to school okay what about the monkeys what you said no more monkeys jumping on the bed when I was jumping on the bed you said that Daddy oh okay no no no monkeys jumping on the bed and no toys at school okay yeah he's not going to take toys you're not going to have another problem from us again okay great I'll remember that for the next time when I come back cuz you had a problem okay all right Jeffy so so don't take toys at school and don't hit kids with it so no toys at school uhhuh no monkeys jumping on the bag uh-huh and and and and no hitting kids with toys all right Jeffy I'll just sit here and I just I'll just leave you here so you can think about it all right Jeffy you've been here long enough it's time to go to bed Daddy I like my Minecraft backpack anymore well why not cuz Daddy it's poopy it's poopy on my diaper it's a stink what Jack I spent 30 bucks on that well Danny I wiped my butt with 30 bucks that was your lunch money for this week oh Jeffy look why do you not want your backpack anymore well Daddy I don't like it okay you know fine Jeffy I had a Christmas gift that I was trying to keep you know secret for you but if you don't like this backpack anymore I guess I'll show it to you here it is it's a backpack with your face on it thanks Daddy this the best backpack ever yes say want to see my pencil on it you say that all the time you want to see my pencil yeah see so Jeffy look I got your a backpack it's custom made just for you where' you get daddy only at smlmerch.com that's a plug Daddy give me some gloves too slow daddy daddy is the best backpack ever all right Jeffy well anyway look if you get bullied just hide inside your backpack okay all right thanks Daddy you're best daddy ever I know put this all right crra happy third day of school I hope you all did all 900 pages of your homework last night because tonight we have 2,000 pages of homework and this night is very important because it's passport to advance so what we're going to do is we're going to keep doubling your homework every single day for the rest of the year hey loser why do you have a backpack on your head you can't see me and why do you have your face on your backpack is it so you don't forget who you are Jeffy take that backpack off your head I have to see your face I don't have to that's good enough every day is Taco Tuesday no no no it's not Chef peipi not every day is Taco Tuesday you've never said that before stop saying it i' hide my face too with a backpack if I were that ugly oh okay idiot got jokes he asked for it what what what are you doing in there oh my God what's that prepare to fire that won't save you hey there Mario I'm back cuz there's been another problem but what did Jeffy do this time daddy I ain't do nothing it's your system trying to bring a brother down yeah okay well what he did is he tried to vaporize another student with his backpack vaporize yeah yeah he shot lasers out of his backpack and tried to vaporize another student what the backpack can't shoot lasers Daddy when I count to 13 I skipped 12 cuz I hate 12 okay it can't shoot lasers uh apparently it can cuz it did okay what happened well he tried to vaporize the kid but luckily the kid didn't get hurt cuz he has a bulletproof backpack you know kids these days always have bulletproof backpacks cuz well you know okay so I'm guessing the kid wants to press charges oh sure yeah he wants to but I can't do anything about it I'm still suspended from last time when I didn't let him press charges what you're suspended yeah yeah I'm not even really a cop right now I just kind of like to play dress up so bye Jeffy why would you do that to the kid well he was bullying me Daddy and it's my bulletproof backpack it keeps me from getting bullied uh yeah that's not a guarantee that's that's not legally binding and it it can't shoot lasers either I I don't I don't know why it did that anyway Jeffy don't let any bullies push you around okay and if you want your own Jeffy backpack go to SML merch.com and this video was sponsored by us so guys what do you want to do today so guys what do you want to do today that's all you ever say junior yeah it's getting old dudee yeah say something new um well fellas what kind of activities would you like to partake in this evening H I like that better ooh what a classy gentleman you but I'm bored yeah me too guys check it out I got my daddy's credit card you stole your dad's credit card it's only stealing if you get caught Bingo well you're still using it without his permission so that is stealing no this is my daddy's credit card and if he were to die then I would inherit it that's not how credit cards work shut up Cody what are you going to buy Jeffy I don't know what do you guys think I should buy something involving balls I like balls all right what about a ski ball machine I heard ski and balls so I'm in a ski ball machine I've always wanted one Joseph me too dude Jeffy go buy a ski ball machine all all right guys we got our ski ball machine all thanks to my daddy's credit card Woo I love committing a felony dreams do come true credit card from Cody what are you doing I'm trying to put the ball in my mouth roll the ball Cody come on dude okay here I go oh got a 100 oh my God you're really good at this game Savage all right my turn but you're not supposed to throw it Jeffy but you you got to throw no you're not supposed to throw you're going to break it if you throw it like that oh you guys broke the game we didn't even have a turn yet well it's my dad's credit card and if anyone can break the ski ball machine it's me yeah I mean I guess he's right well now what game are we going to play we never got a turn I think it should be a game involving balls and men oh I got perfect idea boo ball table now this is what I'm talking about bunch of strong dudes fighting over a ball wish it was me uh I don't like this game it's pretty segregated blacks versus whites well we all know who's going to win you guys are much faster and stronger than us but you guys try pickup trucks and lock your kids in hot cars well guess who has 45 presidents oh lucky you [ __ ] how many imp Peach though you know what better yet name a good white rapper M&M oh that's a get me come on I name a black NASCAR driver nobody watches NASCAR who wants the ver me and BGE ball dear God come on guys let's play I guess I'll play come on Jeffy I'll play you but you you got to you got to hit the ball in the middle Cody guys okay guys look I don't like this game Cody stop it all right guys Jeffy why don't you buy a ball pit oh you're a woman what no like you know a pit full of balls like a Chuck-E-Cheese we can all dive in oh okay I'll go buy one of those all right best purchase ever all right guys peep the ball pit wow this is the biggest ball pit I've ever seen how deep is it like 10 ft I'm in heaven dude this is so dope all right Jeffy you jump in first all right shyara hose I want to jump in I want to jump in Su where are we it looks like some kind of pocket of air inside the ball pit oh it's like a cool little Hideout but can we get out if we wanted to oh let me see what what guys the balls they won't open up I've never been this ball balls deep before well Cody I mean you would enjoy having all these balls around you right well yeah but not these kind of balls well guys if we want to get out we can't what are we going to eat I don't know dude let scream [Applause] help Jeffy have you seen my credit card Jeffy it's missing out of my wallet you better not have taken it and bought something Jeffy what is this a ski ball machine and a foood ball machine Jeffy that is that you are so grounded is that my phone hello hey Marvin Goodman why are you calling me did you win the lottery recently no did your grandfather die and you inherit a bunch of money no so then why are you running up your credit card like you do have a bunch of money well I haven't ran up my credit card I haven't used it once okay well let's go over your purchases shall we $33,000 ski ball machine $3,000 $2,000 foosball table $2,000 $5,000 ball pit $5,000 ball pit you're making a lot of ball related purchases Marvin so if you don't pay off your credit card by the end of the month I'm going to show up to your house and I'm going to bite your balls off then I'm going to put a two2 on and swing your balls around like a ball Arena listen listen someone stole my credit card Goodman and but but here's the thing they left all the expensive things at my house so I can just return it okay well let's hope they left the receipt at your house too well I'm going to find the receipt I'm going to return all this stuff so I don't owe anything on my credit card well for your balls let's hope oh you don't have to worry about that Jimmy where's the reiper all this stuff Jimmy where you at Jeffy I need that receipt Jeffy but are you in the ball pit are you in here Jeffy there's no point in screaming for help no one's going to hear us down here I know you're here Jeffy wait that's my daddy well scream help so he can hear us no no no no because he's going to be really mad that I took his credit card well I mean yeah I'd be mad if somebody stole my credit card too well we got to be saved help help help help me Daddy I guess he's not in there aha I found your shoe Jeffy I know you're in there you're just choosing not to come out well guess what I'm going call the cops and I'm going to say that you stole my credit card cuz you're 18 and that's credit card fraud and you're going to go to jail Jeffy you don't care okay I'm going to call the cops I can't believe your dad didn't hear screaming for help well at least I'm not grounded well we still have to get out of here man if we had a girl in here we could totally repopulate I mean just close your eyes and pretend I'm a girl it's not the same hey there you call the cops oh yeah go on oh you want me to start talking no I thought we'd all just sit here and guess why you called us or maybe we can play I Spy hey Simmons I spy with my little eye a massive waste of police resources give V it's him Simmons oh there's the little bugger where are you from all right look this is what happened someone stole my credit card and bought a ski ball machine and a foosball table and a ball pit and I know who did it but I don't want to tell you okay so it seems to me like all the stuff you just listed is here yeah it is okay so somebody stole your credit card had all the stuff shipped to you and you set it up like you were going to use it uh yeah well see like when the boxes came I I I I set it all up and then I realized I didn't buy this so you put all the balls into the ball pit before you realized you didn't buy a oh okay look can I just tell you the truth yes I would prefer that I don't know why we didn't just start with that okay so look my son went into my wallet took my credit card bought all this stuff and now he's hiding in the ball pit won't come out okay so you called us to what spank him well no no he's 18 so like I want you to like arrest him oh you want to press charges only if he doesn't have the receipt to return all this stuff okay so let me see if I have this straight your son stole your credit card bought all this stuff and now you want us to arrest him if he doesn't have the receipts to return the stuff exactly you writing all this down Simmons I don't have a pin thank you Simmons yeah so like that that's what I want you to do okay so let me see if I have this right you want two professional police officers to dive into a ball pit during work hours yes I love my job so much sometimes okay but before we do that all all this talk about credit card fraud is reminding me of when I had my credit card stolen you had your credit card stolen I did Simmons thank you for asking and I want to tell you all about it all right Simmons just like we practiced I once my credit C soul I tried to get it back actually you know what Simmons let's not sing it that's kind of lame I'll I'll just tell you about it instead so I'm at my doctor job at the hospital right and I'm doing this long 18-hour open heart surgery and it's taking forever I'm getting tired I'm getting hungry So eventually I tell the patient the nurses hey I'm going to go get lunch real quick I'll be right back so I go out into the waiting room when we have the vending machines we have one of those nice vending machines the new ones that takes credit cards so it doesn't even matter if you don't have cash so then I see they have cheit in the vending machine and you know I'm going to get Cheez itss cuz I love Cheez itss so I swipe my card get a bag of Cheez-Its I swipe my card again I get a second bag of Cheez itss and I'm thinking two bags of Cheez itss are not enough Cheez itss I got to buy the whole damn row a cheit so I swipe my card again and as I'm doing that I notice out of the corner of my eye I see somebody with binoculars Watching Me by cheit and I'm thinking why would somebody have binoculars in a hospital watching me buy Cheez itss and then I realize he must be with the cheit corporation he's trying to keep track of how many cheit a single person can buy and I'm thinking maybe I'm going to win some kind of contest you know cuz I'm buying all these chees itss so I start swiping my card really slow so he can get all my information cuz I want to make sure he can track me down to give me on my Cheez It reward you know so then I buy like seven bags of Cheez itss and then I walk over to the guy cuz my curiosity is getting the best of me I'm like hey hey I see you and then the guy hides his binoculars and then I'm like no no no I already caught you I know you're with the cheit corporation and then he's like no sir I'm not with the cheit corporation I'm like no no no I saw your binoculars I already got you and then I see in front of him he has a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers on it and it looks kind of like a credit card number but then I realized that must be all the cheit I bought in my lifetime I'm definitely winning this contest so I give the guy my name and my home address and my social security number all the information he needs you know cuz I also want to make sure that I can write this off as a gift on my taxes when I get all my jits so he's so happy like he's so happy to have all this information so I'm like I definitely won this contest so I go back home to my wife and I'm like honey cheesy Wonka is going to give me the cheit factory I'm going to be a chees it King she doesn't believe me she thinks I'm crazy and I'm like honey you just watch this is going to be awesome so I sit back and I'm feeling good I'm feeling confident and then my phone starts ringing and it's my credit card company and they said that my credit cards are all maxed out and then my bank calls and said they're repossessing my house and my credit is ruined cuz it turns out there was no cheesy Wonka and that guy did not work for the cheit company he was a credit card scammer and he stole my identity and all of my money so now whenever I see somebody with binoculars I just start throwing hay makers like one time I was in the park and I saw these old lays with binoculars and then I started throwing hay makers and yeah it turns out they were bird watching but still so yeah just be glad it was your son that stole your credit card and not some binoculars wielding scammer from the madeup cheit factory okay can we get Jeffy out of the ball pit to see if we can find the receipts yeah sure ball pit time Simmons oh goody wow this ball pit looks pretty deep I was balls deep in your mother last night thank you Simmons now I have that image in my head can you just go in the ball pit and grab Jeffy I don't know man this looks kind of deep I don't want to drown but drowned in plastic balls do you know how many ballpit related deaths there are every year no well neither do I but it's got to be at least one and I don't want to be it so you're telling me that Jeffy could be dead in there I don't know man well let just go in there you're a cop okay but if I yell help you help okay Simmons I got it I mean that should go without saying but with you I don't really know okay oh God oh God I'm sinking Simmons help me call Simmons you saved my life I don't know what I would do without you never let go Simmons I won't can you guys go in there and grab my son hey I almost died man oh okay look there so none of you you going to go in there hey I have an idea how about you go in here okay I got an idea how about we wrap like a string around one of you guys so if you go down there we can pull you out ooh that's a pretty good idea okay I'm going to go grab a string okay there you go why do I got to do it well you're a better swimmer than me Simmons back at the Academy we used to call you swimming oh that's right I did get a bronze medal for swimming yeah so when you get in there when you find Jeffy you tug three times we'll pull you out all right what happens if I tug four times that means you need to pee what about five times that means you have to poop what about six times that means you want some cheit what about times well that means you want to go to Outback Steakhouse when we're done here all right well let's start tugging let's get some of that shrimp on the BBY oh yeah The Chocolate Thunder from Down Under no you're not going to tug more than three times you only tug three times if you find someone or if an emergency happens you tug three times all right go wait how many times was he supposed to T three oh okay oh we're never going to be saved I'm so hungry yeah we might need to eat someone dude start with my butt Jesus Christ I please St offic we're saved or harassed Before You Accuse Me of anything I didn't do it well there's four of you well yeah yeah you're here to save us yeah let's go kids what you're going to do is you're going to hold on to each other's hands and we're going to pull you out of here okay come on dude all right what how many was that was that cheit or outb just pull P pull we're free as a free man Master Simmons you saved four boys you're a hero I try mate but Jeffy do you you have all the receipts for all the stuff you just bought me well come on Jeffy so Jeffy you do not have any of the receipts for all this expensive stuff you bought on my credit card well I do have the receipts but kind of not how do you kind of not you either don't have it or you do well I do have the receipt then show it to me but I spit my gum into it this is deserved I am a [ __ ] so are are we pressing charges am I going to Outback what do we [Music] [Applause] doing Jeffy stop playing with that toy it's really loud and [Music] [Applause] annoying Jeffrey I said stop playing with that toy it's going to keep doing that and scaring you baby please don't buy me more toys I'm sorry Marvin and I thought he'd like it they just really loud and annoying Jeffy I said stop playing with that toy it's going to keep popping out well I got to find out what's in the box there's a monkey in the Box there's a monkey in there I'm coming to save you Mr Monkey all right that's it no more monkey toy I like the monkey toy no you don't it keeps scaring you get ready for bed put your PJs on well I want my PJs I not my Dipper on baby can you put his PJ on for him okay Jeffy come with me it's night night time did did you put his PJs on yep I even changed his diaper too why was it dirty of course not it was on the outside of his pants wa someone poop my pants someone pooped your pants yep are you sure it wasn't you who pooped your pants no but someone did and then they put them back on me and then the poop smeared up my back and mommy had to clean it okay well well we're going to go in the living room and have adult time okay so you just stay here and go to bed okay Jeffy okay I got to get one more room before bed let's go let's go let's go good night Jeffy so jeffy's in bed I know we have the whole night to ourselves so what do you want to do um well we could watch a movie I was thinking we Jeffy I told you to stay in your bed why because it's bedtime you're supposed to go to sleep we're trying to have adult time what too knock in my w too dark in your room you didn't put a nightlight oh I forgot I'm sorry come on Jeffy let's go give give you your NightLight NightLight all right Jeffy there's your NightLight NightLight yes it's a light that stays on while you're sleeping so you're not afraid of the dark well you still do dark in here it's still too dark I don't know what else to do hold on I think I have something here Jeffy look at that what that look star stars stars on the wall how they get on the wall like that it's just what the light does Jeffy is that good enough no it's still too dark in here turn turn the room light on but Jeffy that'd be way too bright but what you to doing is that good enough no it's bright it's too bright in here turn the room light off all right Jeffy I don't know what else to do but it's still too dark in here well here hold on one more Jeffy try this one what are you doing with that you're supposed to hit it to turn it on wow it's a light you're going to hurt yourself no that one's too dangerous for you how about uh how about this how about we uh like oh what're doing with that that's a flashlight Jeffy oo a flashlight it's too bright just just turn the room light back on but you said that one was too bright well now it's too dark in here and I want the room light back on come on let's go it's okay Marvin we still have the whole night we can do whatever you want whatever I want of course what doing Jeffy what what do you want now what I need a bedtime story you need a bedtime story you're too old for a bedtime story no I'm not Marvin we can read him one bedtime story it won't take that long what if one's not good enough what if he wants two or three I need a bedtime story we'll read just one come on let's go oh come on all right Jeffy we're going to read you green eggs and ham green eggs and ham yes Green Eggs and Ham what what how how how they do that how they do what eding ham can't be green it's just a book Jeffy well I want green Eggs and Ham you can't have it it doesn't exist it's just a book well the guy in the book has it because it's a book Jeffy well I want green eggs and ham I want green eggs I want greenegg stop just just listen to the story Marvin we can figure out how to make green eggs in ham well no we can't cuz it doesn't exist why it exist in the book because it's a book Jeffy Marvin the sooner he goes to bed the sooner we can have grown-up alone bonding time but I don't know how to make cre exam cuz it doesn't exist it can't be that hard we can figure it out it doesn't exist Jeffy while we go make your stupid Green Eggs and Ham try to read the book oh yeah look at all that green o this is exciting yeah some green on the ham put some put some green on the eggs this is fun look it's looking good oh yeah work your magic it's very very green oh yeah he's going get his green eggs and ham oh that's that's gross oh some more green okay oh that's very Green Egg all right Jeffy here's your green eggs and ham doesn't that look good this guy's a liar what this guy's is a liar he said he likes green eggs and ham that's the point of the book Jeffy see in the beginning of the book he doesn't like green eggs and ham and then he finally tries it and he likes it but he hasn't even touched his ham yet so how do you know he likes it how do you know he hasn't touched his ham because look if you look on this page there's one egg on his fork okay and then he eats it and makes the statement that he likes green eggs and ham and he hasn't even touched his ham yet I don't want that he's a liar who Maybe because it's a book and that's a picture you're supposed to assume he's tried both because like maybe on the next page he's ate all his ham right uh- because on this page he's only on his second EG and he still hasn't touched his ham yet and he's over here rambling on how he eats Green Eggs and Ham anywhere anywhere in all capitals I don't want that he's a liar but Jeffy we work so hard to make the stupid Green Eggs and Ham but why can't you just try it I don't want that because he's a liar you know what Jeffy look you have your stupid bedtime story you have your stupid Green Eggs and Ham you have all your dumb night lights look as long as you don't bother me for the whole night I'll be happy so you going to bother me nope okay so I'm happy adult time adult time we're going to go have adult time just stay here with your dumb stupid dumb book and all your stuff okay Jeffy literally has everything it's a stupid NightLight it's a stupid book it's stupid green ham no more interruptions yeah Marvin now we can finally be alone oh really daddy Jeffy what are you doing out of your room stop [ __ ] blocking me there's a monster under my bed no there's not Jeffy there's no monster under your bed I promise yeah Mr is daddy and he told me he was going to poop in my jammies what poop in your jammies no no he did not say that he did not say that yes he did Dad he said Jeffy I'm going to PO in your jammies and I said no Mr monst please don't poo in my jammies I ran here and I told my daddy Jeffy there's no monster on your bed I can show you I promise there's no monster on your bed no dad there is a monster on my bed and you got to come get them out all right Jeffy I'm going to show you that there's no monster under your bed come on all right Jeffy where's this monster so we can get rid of it so it never comes back Hey Jo in the bed D you got to make him go away he's under the bed I really don't want poop in my jammies well there is no under the bed so that poop in your jamm is all you buddy but what if he comes up here and tries to poop in my jammies there's no monster under your bed because there's no under the bed so that means there's no monster but he only comes out when you're not here he only comes out when we're not here isn't that convenient well I got a solution for that all right Jeffy you're not going to have to worry about any more monsters pooping in your jammies cuz I got you this what is that it's uh a monster Destroyer oo a monster Destroyer yeah it destroys monsters that try to poop in kids jammies I told you they exist yeah yeah well it shoots the monster with a laser a laser yeah yeah so so so no more monsters will poop in your jammies and and the camera faces you so so I'll be able to see any of the monster I mean it'll destroy any monster that tries to pooping your jammies oh what did it do I I just I just explained it if a monster tries to PO your jammies it'll shoot it with a laser and make it go away okay so you happy now okay okay let's go right don't bother me anymore finally Marvin was that really a monster Destroyer no baby it's just a baby monitor so we can watch Jeffy oh that's actually really smart I know I'm a genius Marvin what's he doing Jeffy stop it Mr mine what no it's me are you talking to me no it's me Marvin D are you driv in a machine no I'm not go back to bed why because because go to sleep me and we're trying to do stuff I save you D hold on no don't break the machine JY stop it oh my god oh oh no Jeffy why'd you KN down the monster machine why a you're too late Daddy to too late too late for what the Monster already pooped in my jammies the monster already pooped in your jammies yeah he came right after the machine fell down Jeffy you pooped in your jammies you did no the monster dead but the good news is my diaper still clean oh Jesus Christ oh God don't wake him Marvin don't wake him I don't want to sleep with him it's only for one night Marvin our Halloween costumes are so cute jeffy's the cat and the hat and we're Thing One and Thing Two and thing three is in my pants I'm just tired of Halloween already it's my winner Marvin don't say that Halloween's amazing you get to dress up in costumes you get to carve pumpkins and you get to go trick-or-treating cat penis Jeffy stop it well Danny what does a cat Wier look like I don't know I'm going to Google it listen I'm just I'm tired of Halloween like you dress up in costumes every year it's so CH I don't want to look at a cat weener Jeffy why is it bigger than mine put your phone away Jeffy okay so what do what does everyone want to do for Halloween well I think since I'm dressed up as the cat and the hat I should try to rhyme every time I talk okay uh what's your favorite candy Reese's Pieces um what's your favorite part about Halloween Reese's Pieces you can't say Reese's Pieces to everything Jeffy uh what's your favorite color Reese's Pieces but that's not a color Marvin maybe he's saying he likes the color orange and brown and yellow pillow yellow and pillow don't run Jeffy yes it does Santa Claus what that doesn't rhyme okay I'm going to stop getting so mad about your stupid costume in the Rhymes all right listen so what are we going to do first let's carve pumpkins what's carve pumpkins I asked what's carve pumpkins but you can't rhyme your first sentence with we're going to go carve pumpkins Jeffy come on okay Jeffy you're going to carve this big pumpkin right here and I'm going to carve this tiny one if my Wier was your pumpkin it be the tiny one that didn't rhyme Jeffy Reese's Pieces you can't end every sentence with Reese's Pieces that doesn't count well rhyming is too hard so I give up okay look let's just carve this pumpkin what does carve pumpkin mean baby show them what it means okay you take a knife and then you stab your pumpkin like this you stabed the baby pumpkin in front of each Mommy you're going to hell murderer murderer murderer Jeff you're supposed to do that what Cari and pumpkins is murderer come on Jeffy you guys killed a baby pumpkin murderer that's how car pumpkins Jeffy hey there somebody called the cops or should I say a Jedi what hold on damn it stupid thing um give it a second it's supposed to light up ha a Jedi isn't that sick isn't technology amazing you know like those velcro shoes you don't even have to learn how to tie your shoes I sure didn't anyway why' you guys really call me my parents are murderers oh no were they killing younglings yes that sounds like Sith Behavior to me ow you come here ow okay I took care of them but what's really going on okay we were carving pumpkins and we stabbed the baby pumpkin in front of the mommy pumpkin yeah ow okay first of all actually also anyway nevertheless uh carving pumpkins is not illegal we were trying to tell Jeffy that it's not illegal yeah okay so I'm going to go back home and pass out candy which is what you should be doing okay all right guys we're going to do what the cops said we're going to go pass out candy come on all right Jeffy when you hear the doorbell you're going to pass out candy okay okay there's someone at the door what Jeffy you're supposed to wait for me to open the door oh okay trick or treat ow what Jeffy no you're supposed to toss the candy in the bag oh okay let me try again well no don't give me more C ow I'm racist cups we don't pass out candy to rac's cups no racist cups all right look you got enough candy so you can go but he didn't put the candy in the bag look just go okay okay Jeffy I'm going to pass out candy to the next trick-or-treater because you don't know how to do it there's someone else trick is trous your boy douge you're supposed to say trick-or treat church is chicken what no no you can't trick-or treat at your own house but I don't want no candy I want some money I'm not giving you money well I need the new coolerist dood look we you can get that later well I'm the Kool-Aid man oh yeah bye your boy dougy wait where's my money okay look let's go upstairs and figure out something else cuz handing out cand is not fun okay we just passed out candy we carved pumpkins I'm ready to go to bed no Marvin we still have to go trick-or-treating yeah dny I want some candy okay let's hurry up and go trick-or-treating let's get it over with actually Marvin I'm tired I'm going to stay home well no if anyone gets to stay home it's me I don't want to go out in the cold well someone has to pass out candy yeah dny she's got a point well I'll pass out the candy no Marvin you're Thing One Thing Two by themselves doesn't make any sense yeah Dad I got thing two right here in mono come on let's just go okay Jeffy let's hurry up and go trick-or-treating so I can go to bed what trick-or-treaters hello trick or treat what the [ __ ] what Jeffrey don't don't throw candy at him uh what are you doing here Goodman I'm here for your house payment Marvin already yeah cuz it's the end of the month oh well me and my son were about to go trick-or-treating Marvin do you know what my costume is you're a horse yeah and in case you're wondering the carpets do match the drapes I got a horse CER Marvin okay yeah so since you don't have my house payment I'm taking your candy that you're going to give out to the kids in your neighborhood so now you look like an [ __ ] don't do that trick or treat come on Jeffy let's go okay Jeffy this is the first house Danny why do I have a cupcake pan because we didn't have any trash bags are we poor yes a oh trickortreat Jeffy be nice hello trick-or treat suck my ass but Jeffy oh what lovely manners that's the spirit I'm count succul I can suck anyone off yes you can I was her first victim before you knocked on the door thanks for interrupting uh what are you supposed to be oh I'm tiger the rapper Oh I thought you were tiger o you one letter off and getting the ass whooping boy here you go here's some candy all right Jeffy what do you say piss off what Jeffy come on oh kind of suck you little I think I need to be a victim again meow okay Jeffy this is the next house this is not the candy you're looking for oh hey it's you guys I guess you came here for the good candy well too bad cuz it's all mine especially the Reese's Pieces no one can have those those are my favorite now Bo don't be stingy with the candy this is my wife she's a mermaid it has nothing to do with Star Wars boy you were supposed to be my Prince sa yeah well I don't know who that is so you can have fun passing out the candy but don't give them my Reese's Pieces uh can we have some candy please okay sure there you go happy Halloween more Jeffrey no come on bu I handed out the candy wa wait a minute one two Karen two of my Reese's Pieces are missing your what my Reese's piece of these Oh I thought you said Reese's Cups we don't have any Reese's Cups Karen well I'm sorry Bo I didn't understand the directions thank you guy Jonathan what are you doing here well since I'm your brother I figured it was okay if I just walk in your house no leave you didn't even ask me what my outfit was I'm tomato cuz I like to get it Caren show me a toes oh I'm a moid I don't have toes show me a booby Shin okay Jonathan I think you need to leave can I have your candy F no I'm telling Mom don't tell Mom damn it Karen I can't believe you gave away two of my Reese's Pieces I'm going to I know where those people live I'm going to go find them and I'm going to get my candy back Bo you leave those nice people alone okay guys let's look at all the candy we got from trick-or-treating yeah okay well I got some fruit rollups I have not quite enough Snickers to spell snickers but I can spell Ricks and I have some Starburst Cody what is your Halloween costume supposed to be yeah dude I was wondering that all day really come on I'm Harry Potter oh you look like a lawyer what a lawyer is this what you you think a lawyer looks like well you have a tie on and a suit and the Harvard scarf what did you think this thing in my hand was um like a pen so you could write down stuff in court but no why do you think I have a broom so you can sweep up your office dude I thought you were a lawyer but from Antarctica what Antarctica yeah cuz of the scarf duh oh yeah no Joseph what is your costume supposed to be isn't it obvious dude I'm a green astronaut oh yeah a famous green astronaut I've heard of those Cody you haven't asked what my costume is yeah I'm trying not to think about it well come on guess is it my mom no but really no it's not your mom it's your mom but in Minecraft Jesus he's thinking outside the box Junior you've already been my mom for Halloween before but I've never been your mom in Minecraft I guess that's true okay guys let's trade some candy okay what's your first offer okay well I really want that Starburst so I'll trade you a Milky Way for your Starburst no no no no no way no way I'm trading my Starburst for a little tiny mini Milky Way okay how about this I will trade you um oh my my kit kat for the starburst no no how about your cheit for my Starburst I'm not trading my cheit I love cheit okay so how about I trade you my fruit snacks for your Starburst well I already have m's fruit snacks and that's actually pretty similar so no okay okay Joseph you have two Starburst so I'm going to trade you something um I'll trade you my chees it's for your Starburst oh dear dude what the [ __ ] junior that's exactly what I wanted but he has two Starburst so he he has like more to trade than you do yeah dude I'm not going to pass up on a good deal but it's the same but it's not the same deal look now give give me my give me that there you go shouldn't have been greedy should have gave me the starburst this is [ __ ] hey guys call me the baker man cuz I got a cupcake pan oh sweet Lord Jesus are those Reese's Pieces oh dude I'll trade you all my candy for the Reese's PC no I'll trade you all my candy for the Reese's PC no I want the Reese PC back off guys the Reese's PCS are mine yo man Dar it I'm done with this stupid holiday baby can you help me take my costume off okay Marvin be careful you don't want to touch my thing one my my one thing what my Benny I struck gold check it out two packs of Reese's Pisces wow Jeffy that's really cool yeah I'm going to eat them not so fast those Rices pieces are mine what we actually he got them trick-or-treating so they're his yeah well my and I hate to call her this my wife accidentally passed those out and she knows they're mine so I am taking these and if you have a problem with that you're going to die well then you're going to have to fight me oh yeah my red things out yeah my red things out oh no I dropped my lightsaber if you strike me down I'll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine ow my eye I'm telling my mommy all right daddy open up a pack of these Reese's [ __ ] all right Jeffy today is me and and Rosalina's 5year anniversary of knowing each other good so I bought her a star you bought her a star you can buy Stars yep you can buy Stars where did you get it from a star salesman where did he get it from what I I don't know Jeffy well how much did it cost it only cost $100 $100 that's cheap it's like there's a trillion of them well Rosaline has always wanted a star so I decided to buy her one well can we go to it no Jeffy it's like a million light years away well then what do we do with it all you do is look at it look at it you PID $100 to look at something why don't you just give me $100 and you can look at me cuz nobody wants to look at you Jeffy well that's rude you know what I'm going to do I'm going to go stand on the corner and say pay me $100 look at me Mario oh Ros is coming shut don't ruin the surprise hey Mario surprise oh what's happening what today's our 5e anniversary of knowing each other it is yes we've known each other for 5 years Mario yes I'm 5 years older than the day we met yes oh my gosh Mario That's so exciting I completely forgot it's okay I'm sorry I didn't get you anything but um I'll make it up to you later Daddy go ahead you old plumber you go lay some pipe she's talking about that shut up well look baby I bought you a star for our anniversary you bought me a star Mario can we go look at it look at this mommy all you can do is look at it she knows that Jeffy just shut up you're going to stay here let's go look at the star baby oh okay let's go well I want to look at the star shut up Jeffy you're playing another character in the next scene well Lance knows that but I don't know that all right so here's the plan I saw the guy that lives in that house over there a star now when he oh wait wait wait you're selling Stars mate I want a star no no no I I didn't really sell him a star it's just like it's just a piece of paper well what he get a star I want a star don't worry about it just just focus okay he and his girlfriend are going to come outside to look at the star and when they do I want you to pretend to steal his girlfriend's purse then I'm going to come over and pretend to beat you up and then she'll want to be with me instead of him cuz I'm a hero look at these abs but uh what if she doesn't have a purse mate she'll have a purse she's a girl but what if she doesn't have a purse she'll have a purse okay now just try to steal it and then whenever I come over I'm going to punch you and then you act like I punched you really hard like it was a super punch okay all right mate I got it which one is it Mario I think it's that one or that one or it could be that one oo what about that one that one's so pretty baby that's the moon oh well what about that one I hope it is you know that's the one that's the one right there oh yeah give me a purse give me a Pur give me a Pur give me a Pur that's what I give a what give me a purse this looks like a job for super D oh no super de and his good looks unhand that beautiful woman po you just won't be the last of me super D you saved my life yeah don't mention it babe it's what I do Mario you didn't do anything well I was going to do something like I didn't know if he had a knife or if he was going to hurt me like I tried to look for my phone so I could call 911 but I didn't want to get hurt Mario you just stood there I was about to kick him now all you did was just sit there and cry like a little baby no no no I was totally going to kick him but then I didn't want to like I didn't know if he was wearing a belt and I was going to hit the hard part and then stub my toe well I'm glad super D was here because he saved my life oh come on babe you've had a pretty rough night let's go in and lay down what no no no no no come lay down babe you might have a concussion my head's fine I'm just a little shaken up just let me know if you need mouth to mouth all right super dweeb you can leave I got it from here hey Danny how' the star go oh wait let me guess I bet it look like a little white dot in the sky not right now Jeffy Mario How Could You just stand there and do nothing I was going to do something I just didn't want to step in yet I was counting three Mississippi cuz I thought you had him had him he was twice my size well you know I just you know I didn't want to step in cuz if I would have hit him you know I didn't want to hurt him too bad bro just admit that you're too scrawny I'm not scrawny look at this muscle my thumb is bigger than your whole arm well that may be true but I don't want big arms big arms are gross you don't like long arms Mario I have long arms I didn't say anything about long arms I said big arms are gross bro you're just really tiny you have no muscles I'm not tiny I got I got a lot of muscle I'm big Danny you are pretty tiny I'm 16 and look how big I am I'm a big Jeffy daddy you better watch out ra Mario I'm taller than you too well doesn't matter how short I am I'm still really strong like I I can beat people up like I step on Turtles that's pretty messed up bro and I step on caterpillars caterpillars so you just stump on stuff that can't fight back wa I mean in my game I step on a lot of animals I mean that's not look look I can beat up people and if I saw that robber again I'd punch him in the face and and he'd go blind cuz i' punch him so hard he'd go blind oh really you would yeah yeah yeah if I saw that robber again I'd be like like he would be like hurt he'd be really hurt like I better not see his face again because cuz cuz he'd get the hurt put on him really Mario you would do that for me yeah I would do that for you baby I would hurt him and and and show you that I'm a man what you're really falling for this yes he said he would save me and I believe him yeah I would I I'd beat him up if if I saw him again I'd beat him up okay well we'll see what happens next time yeah yeah well there won't be a next time cuz we're never going outside ever again we're going to sit here on this couch you know cuz I'm not tiny I'm a man I'll do anything for my baby you know all right man I'm going to need another favor from you whoa whoa whoa did you like how reacted you hit me earlier uh it was okay you could use a little bit more practice all right M okay so for some reason she's still with that lame guy from earlier so I need you to break into their house and then the guy says he can beat you up but he can't so just you know try to steal her purse again and he might hit you a few times but just pretend it doesn't hurt well what if it hurts me it's not going to hurt he's pretty scrawny you'll be fine all right well how do I pretend that it's not going to hurt mate I don't know just just don't Flinch you you'll beat him up it's fine don't worry about it all right and how do I get in the house well they don't lock the front door so just you can just walk right in all right bu I'm on it Mario would you really ever fight that man if we saw him again oh yeah baby I would totally fight him like I would totally protect you you know cuz I'm a man and if I ever saw him again I'd punch him right in the face and and beat him up he just I wasn't prepared last time but now I'm totally prepared give me a give me now save me how'd you get inside the house the front door now give me a purse I'll fight him give me the purse I'm going to fight him I I just I I have oh man I have to pee what oh I have to pee so bad but Mario you said you would fight him I haven't peed like all day and like look let me go pee real quick and then I'll fight okay so let me just go pee and grab my phone and call 911 Mario so uh how's your notot going pretty bad actually mhm uh so uh do you even have a purse no oh he lied to me you get off of my mommy right now you're saving me job purit wait wait he's not supposed to be doing that super D Jeffy is saving my life no no no I was going to do that all right guys I got my phone I was calling 911 everything's fine you're too late Mario Jeffy already saved me I was going to do it but he beat me too it well I was going to do it too Mario you ran away I didn't run away baby I had to pee it it it's bad to hold in your bladder because it could hurt your bladder so I had to go pee baby you know that's what it was Mario you said you were going to save me and fight for me well I was going to but you know like you got him I'll get on the next one I'll get the next one cuz you know we just make sure the door is locked so people can't get in Mario sometimes I wish you were stronger and you would defend me what what what oh oh yeah what's that babe oh you want me to come with you cuz you love my big muscles sorry man I got to go what so um Daddy what do you want me to do with this guy I don't know Jeffy all right I guess I'll just go put him in the river I wish I was bigger I'm going to call for some help hey there somebody call a doctor oh thank God you're here doctor I have an embarrassing problem that's okay you can tell me I'm a doctor I won't tell anyone you promise you won't tell anyone I'm not allowed to tell anyone that'd be a hippo violation a hippo violation yeah yeah I'd get in big trouble all right well my embarrassing problem is I want to be bigger no okay I think I see where this is going I'm just too small and I don't satisfy my wife so if I was bigger I could satisfy her yeah join the club we're getting t-shirts made next month we're calling ourselves the Teeny penies I don't want to be known as a teeny penie neither do I but I'm the Alita well look I just want to be bigger so can you make me bigger well I don't really know if I can help with that I mean you definitely don't want to try tying a weight to it and stretching it out that way believe me I've done that it hurts well I thought we're supposed to lift weights to get bigger not like that you're going to hurt yourself well it's just that my my wife's ex-boyfriend said that his thumb was bigger than me o ow that hurts and it's true it is and and I was like well I don't want to be bigger that's gross I mean yeah we all say that but now I want to be bigger yeah exactly so can you do something to make me bigger well I mean there's those websites that say they can help you but but they'll just steal your credit card information believe me I've tried that too I've had to call the bank numerous times and they're like guy why do you keep falling for this and I'm like I'm really desperate man I'm desperate too like I just want to be really tall and have a bunch of muscles and a six-pack abs wait wait you want to be tall yeah I want to be bigger like I want to be tall and like big muscles like I want to be bigger oh I I thought you would well it doesn't really matter what I thought but I mean I I was talking about you being tall too right like earlier like when I was saying those things yeah we're talking about tall right yeah we're talking about T and muscles yeah muscles yeah well I guess I'll just deal with deal with what I got yeah hey D I got an idea what what if you eat one of those mushrooms from your game and then you get bigger that way huh what a big idea Jeffy that's your big idea jeffy's big idea wow you know for a minute there I thought Mario's name was going to be in the title I was getting nervous viewer retention was like now it's like Ching thanks for that big idea Jeffy well how we going to do jeffy's big idea like I need a mushroom for my game and I don't know if this exist well uh I I know a guy I went to college with that could probably hook you up with some mushrooms you uh you want to meet him yeah yeah let's go meet him okay hey you Mario yeah BR guy said I'm supposed to meet you about some mushrooms yeah I heard you want to get big oh yeah I want to get real big okay I can hook you up I got this wao what is that that's a mushroom now it's going to do one of two things it's going to either make you big or it's going to make you eat someone's face and talk to chairs well I really hope it makes me big yeah I hope so too for your sake well how big is it going to make me I don't know like twice your size twice my size that's still not that big okay okay I can make you bigger I also have this wa what is that now that's a mega mushroom it'll either make you really really big or it'll make you want to eat 10 people's faces and talk to trees okay well I really hope it makes me really really big yeah well what I would recommend is you take the small one first and if that doesn't work you take the big one okay yeah deal I'll be really safe with it all right be careful all right I got the stuff so how's this supposed to work he says if I eat this one it'll either make me bigger or make me want to eat people's faces oh okay I I'll just watch from back here all right so I just eat it I guess all right here I go anything happening oh let me eat your face I'm just joking with you oh jeez you had me there I haven't ate it yet all right here I go am I bigger oh yeah yeah you're about as big as me well that's not big enough super D is huge what super D what what I I thought we were talking about height all right so I'm going to try the other one because I feel big but I want to be bigger okay Mama Mia wow you are huge super D I'm coming for you okay what is this super D you keep talking about super D yeah I bet you have one now M Mario can be so irresponsible sometimes I know I just wish he was more protective over me yeah you remember how protective I was over you yeah that was the one good thing about our relationship yeah I never let anything happen to my baby you know it doesn't mean it can't happen again we should totally kiss but I'm married super D well I don't care if you have a husband husband ends in end anyway so you should just end it actually it ends in and well and we should totally kiss it'd be hot super D I don't want to kiss you but I saved you today so like you owe me get away from me super D oh come on look at these abs who wouldn't want this e no get away from my wife super D so rock hard Mario I did it baby I'm huge Mario you saved me from Super d y Mario you're back to normal ding it wore off what wore off I took some mushrooms to make me really big cuz I know you don't like how small I am Mario Size Doesn't Matter I love you just the way you are I'm paralyzed from the neck down wait Size Doesn't Matter to you I thought you want me to be really big no Mario I just wanted you to protect me no seriously guys I can't feel my legs well I'm sorry that I didn't protect you earlier today but I'll start protecting you from now on I'm going to be the most bestest protective boyfriend ever really Mario Super D needs to go to the Super ICU yes really I don't need mushrooms or any of that I just need you to care about me and and I'll care about you and protect you and let's go look at that star I got you for our anniversary okay Mario hey hey hey somebody needs to help me though Mario which star is it again any Star you want baby I want them all well they cost like $100 a piece so I can't do that d give me a p give me a p right now give me a p give me a p this won't be the end to me Mario see baby I just stood up for you Mario you did it yeah I got to go pay him $20 all D hey Jeffy what are you doing I just finished making my list of all the things I want for my birthday tomorrow okay what's the first thing you want well first thing on my list is Disney World but Jeffy you're not getting Disney World Disney World's really expensive and it's really far away so you're not getting that what's the thing on your list Disney World Jeffy what's the third thing on your list you're not getting Disney World Disney World Jeffy what is the fourth thing no Disney World Disney World dud Jeffy what else on the list besides Disney World it's all Disney World daddy Jeffy you're not going to Disney World it's too expensive and really far away well D the only thing I want for my birthday this year is Disney World you told me yesterday the only thing you wanted for your birthday was a minion playing a guitar well I changed my mind daddy well I guess I'm going to have to return this then well you don't have to return it I'll still playing with it no Jeffy look you're not getting Disney World you choose something else dang this is my 15th birthday this is going to be my favorite birthday ever and I want Disney World I'm turning 15 which is three of these that'd be 12 Jeffy it's not my fa I don't have an extra finger on this hand oh okay Jeffy look you're not getting Disney World and that's final so go make a whole new list okay don't you cry don't cry Jeffy you I wanted to see Mickey Mouse and ride ride to Disney World and my daddy hates me on my 15th birthday he said Jeffy you're a bad boy you don't get Disney World you don't get to smile bad daddy I didn't say any of that Jeffy I can't afford it I wish there was a cheaper version of Disney World hey you are you poor can't afford to take a kid to Disney World well come on down to Sam's Fun City we got rides we got games and and we got boofy what's a boofy come on down and find out oh my God that's exactly what I needed I'm going tell Jeffy that's Disney World and I'll just take him there I me he won't know the difference he's so stupid he'll think it's Disney World yes he's going to save my life and jeffy's going to think I'm a good dad Jeffy Jeffy get in here what do you want Daddy you tell me you hate me some more no Jeffy I have a huge surprise for you tomorrow for your birthday what is it I'm not going to tell you Jeffy you to ruin the surprise but look I just want you to go to bed so in the morning I can take you to the super Secret Surprise place for your birthday tomorrow okay okay daddyy let's get you in bed Jeffy Jeffy get in here are you ready for your birthday surprise oh yeah Daddy I'm ready I got my puffy balls yeah you're turning 15 years old Jeffy yep what Oh Daddy my balls dropped well well that happens when you're 15 Jeffy well anyway it's your birthday so I'm going to take you somewhere really special for your birthday it's a big surprise so follow me okay all right Daddy all right Jeffy welcome to Disney World yay but daddy where's all the people at uh the people uh uh Jeffy I rented out Disney World just for you you did daddy yep y are you a billionaire yep I I'm I'm a billionaire yay my daddy's a billionaire I'm going tell all my friends at school you have to keep it a secret don't tell anybody why Daddy because I don't want people asking me for money oh yeah cuz you're a too fair right daddy yep yep so uh what do you want what do you want to go do first I want to see the castle daddy where's that the castle uh uh uh Jeffy you didn't hear you didn't hear that Disney World got rid of the castle why okay Mickey Mouse uh he had to sell the castle he couldn't afford it he why would he do that because he wanted to buy a shirt he only wears shorts so he wanted a shirt so he wanted a very expensive shirt so he sold the castle look look there's a fountain they replaced it with this Fountain see oh yep well it's not as good as the castle but it'll do yeah all right so let's go ride some rides ride you want to ride oh Danny Danny can we ride the G and raap ride yeah sure the mar go around that's a nice safe ride yeah let's ride that come on dad let's go hey Dad look I'm running a g ra this is so pee PE yes Jeffy it's very pee PE dny how did they get the G is stay right here well Jeffy there's a pole going through his back what's wrong Jeffy they killed the G around they they didn't kill him Jeffy yes they did they're not real they're not real Jeffy look look they're not real they're fake stop the ride come on Jeffy we're getting off this hey Daddy can we ride this ride right here uh Jeffy uh that looks like a big boy ride daddy do I not look like a big boy to you I'm 15 years old Jeffy you're still wearing a diaper well that's so I don't pee my pants daddy big boys don't pee their pants Jeffy come on Daddy let's ride this run Daddy what is this run do Jeffy this ride like spin us around a lot of circles am I going to throw up uh hopefully not I want to throw up you don't you don't want to throw up no no stop Jeffy stop it don't make yourself throw up okay Jeffy it's starting Jeffy stop it it's not even SC it's not even going that fast yet dang I don't feel some good well it's okay Jeffy he's stopping the ride you don't have to throw up anymore okay just hold on now you just threw up yeah because I'm getting Oh Daddy I want to ride the cars Jeffy you don't have your license you can't drive dang I'm 15 I want my permit but but Jeffy like you might wreck and then we might get hurt and you don't want to get hurt on your birthday but D I'll go super slow I promise I'll go as slow as the car can go super slow yeah promise okay fine let's go yay daddy look I'm driving a race car yeah and you're going to go nice and slow just like you said right I didn't like slow you're going to have to like slow Jeffy you're going to have to like SL I didn't like it Jeffy you have to like it okay so look just drive nice and slow and go straight okay all right Daddy yeah just go straight hey keep your eye on the road Jeffy you're going to hit the wall don't hit the wall Jeffy you just hit the wall je Jeffy you're scraping the wall you're scraping the wall Jeffy good there no good there there Jeffy it's sparking it Jeffy it's sparking oh yeah like this stay straight stay straight scraping stay JY like that like that I like that I like that I like this right we're just going to do this okay we're just going to keep going no no sh stop it stop it hey Daddy how was my driving never again never will I ever let you drive ever again you're never getting a license well I thought I did pretty good no no you didn't no you're not supposed to hit the wall all you did was hit the wall oh o o dadd can we ride the big wheel ride next no Jeffy you can't get on that ride why not Daddy because it's so tall and high up and and unsafe look you can fall out of that thing well I'm wearing my helmet daddyy see well I'm not wearing a helmet so if I fall out I'm not going to be protected well you can borrow my helmet daddy well but then I but then you won't have your helmet and look Jeffy look I'm afraid of heights and what if we get stuck at the top and we can't get down and it's hours and then that to send a helicopter it's just the whole thing well that'd be fun Daddy just me and my daddy stuck at the for hours hour it would not be fun Jeffy I'm afraid of heights I don't want to go up there we're not going up there you're not allowed to go on the ride in all of Disney World this is the only ride I want to ride and you're telling me no on my birthday yes you're not going to ride it Jeffy let's go home you're not going to ride it my daddy's hitting me he won't stop beating me f let's go let's go let's go let's go we get on it but only for like 5 Seconds okay 5 Seconds all right Jeffy we're on the feris wheel can we get off now no Dad we still got to go up Jeffy I can't go up there I can't I'm afraid of heights pull the L crunk Rock lever Rock lever no no no Jeffy Jeffy I'm afraid of heights I'm afraid of heights Jeffy let me down oh my God dang don't worry about look how high we are dad he's stopping us why did you stop us up here he stopped us up here Jeffy why would he stop us up here oh my God what we going to do Jeffy what are we going to do oh dang what's this thing Jeffy that's a was Nest can't hit it Jeffy don't don't don't hit that was Nest we up here we can't get off dang there's nothing I want to do more on my birthday than to hit that wash Nest Jeffy do not hit that wash Nest I'm going hit it don't hit it I'm going hit it Jeffy don't do that get get oh my God ow ow my face hurts ow dadd don't talk to me Jeffy do not talk to me your birthday's over but dang I didn't get to see Mickey Mouse well you're not going to see Mickey Mouse why dang cuz he doesn't exist don't you start crying you got my face stuck by wasp I want to see Micky Mouse you better show me Micky Mouse right now fine Jeffy I'll see what I can do hey oh Jesus what happened to your face I got stuck my wa oh you must have been riding the ferris wheel yeah the thing's riddled with wasps well thanks for the heads up yeah well uh anyway um I need a favor from you okay what uh do you have like a Mickey Mouse costume you can dress out to pretend to be Mickey Mouse my son really wants to see Mickey Mouse uh no we don't really have Mickey Mouse we have boofy the Moose boofy the Moose yeah boofy he's like he's like the mascot of this place I guess okay well I guess that's better than nothing can you do that yeah sure uh I'll go wake him up okay all right Jeffy we couldn't get you Mickey Mouse but we got you something even better what's that d D here he is poofy the Moose what's wrong Jeffy I don't want poofy the Moose I want a Mickey Mouse boofy the Moose is awesome come to boofy look dance with boofy look you and boofy Can Dance come on dance withy I like it come on Jeffy smile dance with boofy I like it hey hey yeah yeah that that's not going to work what what boofy you don't like him no no Jeffy does not like bofy what come on but it's boofy though yeah yeah I know it's boofy but he really wants Mickey Mouse well look we don't have Mickey Mouse look it's his birthday though what it's my birthday too and I don't want to be here but look here I am okay okay look how about this I'll pay you extra if you can just please find a Mickey Mouse costume please okay fine I guess I can go make a costume yeah thank you so much D I don't like poofy the Moose he smell like feet and pee like when you pee on your feet your shower Jeffy no one does that I want Mickey Mouse well I know you want Mickey Mouse Jeffy that's why I I made some phone calls and pulled some strings and look who showed up it's me Mickey Mouse H Diggity Dog Mickey Mouse you're here yeah yeah it's me it's Mickey Mouse so so what what do you want D look it's Mickey Mouse I just wanted to meet you Mickey Mouse okay great so are we done here or what oh Dad can Mickey Mouse come back to the house for cake no no Mickey Mouse can't do that Mickey Mouse doesn't get off work till 5 well well well maybe uh Mickey Mouse can come if I pay him an extra five yeah I guess Mickey Mouse could swing that sure yeah so let's go back to the house and have some cake so yay yeah we can end this day all right Jeffy are you ready for us to sing you happy birthday so you can blow your candles and make a wish yeah Daddy I still can't believe I get to eat cake with Mickey Mouse you know it's my birthday too you guys could have gotten me a present or something I got the same birthday as Mickey Mouse yeah yeah how about that yeah anyway let's sing Happy Birthday happy birthday to Jeffy okay happy birthday to Jeffy happy birthday to Jeffy happy birthday to you all right blow your candles Jeffy you make a wish yeah Daddy Cool how about we relight those candles and then we sing Happy Birthday to me this time I'm not paying you for that so stop it okay you know what how about that what what happened you Mickey Mouse I cut them up into little pieces and I wore a skin like a suit you deal with that Ked Mickey no no no no it's just it's just a costume Jeffy what' you wish for what' you wish for I wish that I could throw my cake as far as I can daddy you're not going to throw your cake Jeffy well that's what I wish for Daddy it's my birthday and I want to throw my cake okay fine Jeffy since is your birthday wish this is the last thing you're doing for your birthday yay I got you throw my cake okay make it quick okay are you happy you happy for your birthday yeah Dad I throw my cake well I hope you had a good birthday Jeffy I did daddy going to have a nice quiet relaxing day Dad what did you say Jeffy Jeffy I can't hear you speak up all right daddy hold on one second what can you buy me a laptop so I can play Minecraft Jeffy you don't need the stupid megaphone can you buy me a laptop so I can play Minecraft ask without the megaphone can you buy me a laptop so I can play Minecraft no you know what I said no I'm not buying you a stupid dumb laptop who's that uh hello hey Marvin Goodman what are you doing here you see this laptop yeah well on this laptop is 1,000 Bitcoin and right now with current market prices that's over 68 million what there's over $68 million on this laptop yep there sure is and I need you to watch it for me but why do you need me to watch it well because tonight at 3:00 a.m. Bitcoin is going to be going to $100,000 per coin and that means my portfolio will be worth over $100 million and at 3:00 a.m. I need you to sell all my Bitcoin well why do you need me to sell all your Bitcoin at 3:00 a.m. why don't you do it because I'll be asleep at 3:00 a.m. does it look like I'm awake at 3:00 a.m. of course not but you look like you'll be awake at 3:00 a.m. with those ugly bags under your eyes God you're ugly well why don't you just get someone else to do it because I don't feel comfortable with all that money so get someone else to do it well Marvin if you do it I'll pay you a million dollars you'll pay me a million doll to do it yep I sure will but keep in mind if you screw this up for me I'm going to cut off your ball sack and use it as a hot air balloon it'll be a hot air balloon wa I won't mess this up I will definitely sell them all okay it's safe with me okay don't screw this up Marvin oh man Daddy's about to get paid all I have to do is Click sell at 3:00 a.m. and I make a million dollars I'm so happy oh sweet you got me a la no Jeffy I did not get you a laptop you bought yourself a laptop just to rub it in my face no Jeffy you're a bad daddy this is not even my laptop oh cuz it's my laptop because you bought it for me no no wait wait a minute yeah Jeffy this is your laptop I bought it for you oh sweet let me play with it no no no no je Jeffy uh you can't play with it till 3:01 a.m. why because I'm setting it up for you well I have to check my Piggies and my Piggies need to bang what I need to breed my piggies in Minecraft wait oh Jeffy oh hold on oh I'm downloading Minecraft right now oh oh man it says it says it's going to take till 301 to download Minecraft well then you're doing it wrong cuz it doesn't take that long to download Minecraft Jeffy just wait till 3:01 a.m. no my Piggies need to bang my Piggies need to go and you're blue balling my piggy Jeffy you can play with your Piggies at 301 a.m. my Piggies need to back okay please please do not break this laptop look here Let Let Your Piggies bang do whatever you got to do all right all hold don't look at my password I got to log in I'm not going to look stop looking Jeffy what are you watching nothing don't look that didn't sound like Piggies to me no it was Piggies you yeah I'm not going to show you what it was show me what it was no back Jeffy you get back here right now give me the laptop no Daddy now give me the laptop Jeffy Jeffy Do not drop that laptop off the balcony you're yelling at me I'm not yelling Jeffy let's talk give me the laptop back please I don't want you to see what I was looking at I don't care what you were looking at just give me the laptop back it was a man and a woman dressed like Piggies that's fine everybody watches that and they were oing Jeffy that's completely fine just please give me the laptop back I'll do anything all right well then say your ABCs backwards what on the first try no pausing I can't do that 1 2 3 go uh uh Z YX w u uh you paused J hey hey hey hey hey no hitting jff you might have broke that laptop God please don't let it be broken JY what are you doing JY I didn't want you to see the piggy I don't care about the piggy jimy please let it still turn on Jeffy the screen's broken Jeffy is completely broken why would you do that missing a comish you're grounded die oh my God what am I going to do what am I going to do Good's going to cut my ball Shack off and make it into a hot air balloon okay okay maybe maybe it's not broken you know the screen's broken and the corner is broken but the hard drive that that's where the Bitcoin is in the hard drive so I'm going to call Apple tech support and see if they can help me fix the laptop and get the hard drive out yeah I'm going to call Apple tech support all right it's ringing hello thank you for calling Apple tech support my name is Camille Habib habob camil is in cam khabib habob as in Bob for apples and what can I do for you on this fine evening well Camille my laptop what who Camille habab Bob Camille is and camel Hab Bob is and Bob for apples and what can I do for you on this fine evening my Apple laptop is broken oh I'm so sorry to hear that do you happen to have the Apple care plan no I do not okay well I suggest that you purchase it for $99.99 okay I'll buy it well unfortunately you can't buy it on your current laptop you should have bought it at the time of purchase why you why are you trying to sell it to me if I can't buy it because I'm just trying to propose it to you for your future Apple product well I don't need it I don't want it I just want you to help me fix my current laptop okay do you mind telling me what is wrong with your Cur laptop my son threw it off a balcony and hit it with a hammer oh I'm so sorry unfortunately that's not covered by The Accidental damage warranty I don't care about the warranty like help me fix it right now okay well first of all we have to go through some quick troubleshooting techniques all right okay yeah hurry up all right so first on the list I'm going to need you to turn it off and turn it back on I said it was broken he hit it with a hammer okay sir I can't proceed forward until you turn it off and turn it back on okay it's off it's permanently off okay all right now what is your screen showing Hammer Mark Hammer Mark Hammer Mark broken glass okay well you're going to have to exit out of those screens in order to proceed it's not a screen the laptop is off okay all right one more thing we're going to I'm going to need you to go into settings I can't go in settings the laptop won't turn on and hit the reset button I can't do that all right sir unfortunately there's nothing else I can do further so what I'm going to have to do is I'm going to have to mail you a shipping label you'll get it in two to three business days and then you pack up your laptop ship it to us we fix it and we send it back to you in 3 to four weeks three to 4 weeks I need it fix tonight like like in the next hour well unfortunately there's no way I can do that sir the troubleshooting is not working oh can you come to my house and fix it like where are you at sure I'm in Egypt Egypt can you get me someone America oh yeah I can transfer you to my supervisor named Kevin oh okay give me to Kevin is he in America yep hold on one moment please okay good Kevin a nice American name hello thank you for calling Apple tech support my name is Kevin this is not Kevin this is okay no no I don't need their help I'll just call a computer repair man that can come to my house tonight and fix it yes hey there you call big shirts computer repair we wear big shirts and we repair computers I'm the one that came with the big shirs part yeah he did who is this this is my brother Jonathan good day sir you don't have to tip your Fedora to everybody you meet Jonathan if you didn't like the Fedora you could have said something I don't have a problem with the Fedora it's the big shirts I don't like do we really need these yes it's part of the name it's big shirts computer repair services would it make sense if it were regular search computer repair services no well I don't understand can't we just change the name I don't really understand why no no no no no no no it has to be big shirt repair services because if it weren't we would just be the same as everyone else it's what separates us from the competition the boys from the men well I I don't really get it because Tite jeans computer repair services is doing okay you keep your dirty sh your mouth oh okay okay what is going on here look my mom came to me and she said your 32-year-old brother still living at home could you please help him start a company so I came to Jonathan and I said hey Jonathan what kind of company do you want to start and he said I want to either sell big shirts or repair computers and I said well which one do you want to do Jonathan and he said how about we wear big shirts while repairing computers and I said no Jonathan you're going to have to pick one or the other so he went to our mom and he complained that I was being mean to him so now we wear big shirts while repairing computers it's a great idea honestly no Jonathan it's not a good idea because we've only been open for a day and a half and he's our only customer well I only called you guys cuz you're the only 24-hour computer repair shop which was another one of Jonathan's stupid ideas because it's 1:00 in the morning and he had to get me out of bed for this silly goose forgot his shirt I didn't breaking to his house everything SE that time to your window you have such an ugly laugh hey you keep talking like that and you're going to be put on Santa's na list Jonathan you're 32 years old why do you still believe in Santa Claus see this is why I got two Xbox Ones for Christmas last year and you didn't get anything no Jonathan the reason you get two Xbox Ones for Christmas is because you still live at Mom's house no no no we both know it's not true listen that's not true mom bought the house and then there was an addition made the basement and that's where I live mom's basement yeah you live in Mom's basement precisely okay I don't care where you live I don't care how you started the company I don't care about anything can you fix my computer or not oh I didn't know there was a lady presence hey there sexy looks like you've been in abusive relationship don't worry Daddy's going to fix you what is he doing he thinks computers are women okay yeah well can he can he fix the what can you fix the computer or not listen man at this point you probably should just buy a new computer well I just need you to take the hard drive out sure I am not at a hard drive maybe like maybe like a half drive just give me a couple moments and I'll be at a full on hard drive okay okay listen I'm going be honest with you I'm going be serious with you I I don't have time for this I don't have time for this [ __ ] listen listen so um there is a th000 Bitcoin on this hard drive what a th000 Bitcoin ,000 Bitcoin $68 million on this hard drive and I just need to get it out cuz I cannot lose that money wait you're serious I'm being completely serious so I don't have time for whatever he's doing can you just get the hard drive out yeah Jonathan could you cut the crap for a second excuse me I'm busy Jonathan I need I need you to knock this [ __ ] off Jonathan this is important okay Brooklyn guy I never interrupt you when you're busy except for when I woke you up with your wife an hour ago okay but listen I'm about to lose my Fe C don't Ru this for me Jonathan listen to me I need you to take this computer and put it in the car why would I P it in the car I thought we were fishing it because that's that's where the computer repair station is no it's not it's aada are you going to bring it back if you take it yeah yeah we're going to take it we're going to fix it we're going to bring it right back right Jonathan why would you why would you need to bring it anywhere if we're just going to fix it right here just put it in the car come on okay fine fine I put it in the car well make sure you bring it back I I told you I was on it Go Jonathan go go go go go go you know if you play your car Str you might be able to join us don't didn't join you just go go go go okay hey wa wait wait I forgot my faora forget your Fedora I'll buy you 68 million fedoras oh man I really hope those guys can fix that computer Goodman's going to kill me wait that guy left this Fedora hold on that might be them uh hello what Goodman what are you doing here Marvin I messed up you know the laptop I gave you uh yeah well that was actually my son's laptop and he has a book report on it that's due at school at 9:00 a.m. in the morning so I'm going to need that back wait wa wait wait wait wait wait wait what what happened to the Bitcoin laptop oh I accidentally got it confused with my son's laptop and so I decided I'll just sell the Bitcoin so I do need my son's laptop back wa so so you need that laptop back yeah so go get it uh uh go get it well well you see it's the funniest thing I uh I I sold that laptop for um uh this hat why the [ __ ] would you do that I really like this hat well give me the damn hat I'm going to try that hat oh H you're right it is a nice hat so you know what you're going to do you're going to go upstairs and write my son's book report and have it ready by 9:00 a.m. or else I'm going to be wearing this hat while riding in a hot air balloon made out of your ball sack so go get writing okay what's the what's it about what's the book report about cream cheese cream cheese yep two pages on cream cheese get it done 9:00 a.m. okay so where we going BR guy Vegas we're rich you got that laptop on yet of course I have it on oh we got 1 th000 Bitcoin on there not quite but we do have a th000 w on cream cheese cream cheese no no no no no there has to be 1,000 Bitcoin on there nope just a very detailed essay on cream cheese M damn you cream cheese

Channel: Dr. Junior

Views: 781,164

Keywords: sml, sml reuploaded, sml jeffy, sml marathon, smlytp, sml old videos, sml reaction, sml movie, sml ytp, sml animated, sml archive, sml alien, asml, asml movie, sml bowser jr, sml cody, sml chef pepe, cool cody sml, sml drama, dr junior, sml movie 2023, new sml movie 2023, sml movie jeffy 2023, a new sml movie, every sml movie from 2023, sml new movie 2023, best small movies of 2023, sml movies 2022, jeffy's, all jeffy videos, animation jeffy, a new jeffy

Id: FSSCdfQyRy4

Length: 215min 58sec (12958 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 21 2023