SML Movie- Jeffy Gets a Job! 2023- Full Episode

[Music] hey D can I borrow a credit card borrow my credit card for what the new battle pass for fortnite came out today and it's only $20 and I really really want can I have it what $20 why is it so expensive well it's actually $9.50 but I want the new skins why do you need the new skins cuz I'm tired of all this privilege what Daddy can I please have the new battle pass Jeffy I'm not just going to hand you money whenever you want something that's not how things work but Daddy please all the cool kids are getting the battle pass well if all the cool kids jumped off a bridge would you well are they getting that battle pass cuz if they're getting that battle pass I'm jumping [ __ ] what Jeffy stop it no you're not getting the battle look I want you to work for your money oh like slinging leg daddy cuz I can sling leg real good Daddy I can sling leg all night you're not no not sling leg stop it pay me and I'll stop J I'm not going to pay you to stop slinging like look I'm talking about a real job like cutting grass or washing cars washing cars daddy oh I can wash some cars I can give a nice rim job too clean those baby up real good Jeffy stop that tongue and butt Daddy Jeffy no look I want you to get a real job okay I don't know where you could work but you know what I have a friend that could probably offer you a job come on you you're going to work for your money you're going to work for your money all right Jeffy we're here you're going to be working at Jimmy John's Jimmy John's what is that it's a place where you make sandwiches I have a friend that works here and he's going to give you a job so just go inside he's already expecting you to come okay all right ddy have fun Jeffy make that money there's $5 missing from the drawer uh hey Tom Tommy uh do you know who stole $5 from the drawer mhm yeah uh Tommy Tommy you're fired yeah you're fired for snitching we don't hire snitches here get out of here yeah it's right you leave snitches get stitches hey oh hey you must be Jeffy the new guy yep I'm ready to start well that's great you are going to love working at Jimmy John's all right we are the best Sandwich Company in this town Subway trash Jersey mics garbage Firehouse that is what even is that all right Jimmy John's is the only place you're going to want to work all right so come back here and I'll show you around okay okay all right all right Jeffy so right here we call this the sandwich station and the hunger train is about to pull in ch that's that's just a little joke that I make for new employees all right so when you're making a new sandwich you're going to need a piece of bread obviously and then you just put stuff on the bread now uh you you see this right here yeah yeah ick these are tomatoes I hate Tomatoes I can't even stand the sight of them makes me want to throw up okay so if somebody comes in and they order a sandwich with tomatoes on it I'm going to need you to put them on cuz I can't handle it so it's got to be you or Savannah over here now Savannah is my best worker she has never messed up a sandwich I've never even seen her throw one away all right yeah she could steal from me and I wouldn't even care and she has you earned that $5 all right so I guess I can show you the um the the drink machine okay Jeffy so we call this the drink machine so whenever a customer orders a drink you hand them this cup and you say that's not my problem you can get your own drink like a big boy all right you tell them that now I really I really love Cherry Coke okay I love a good Cherry Coke but no no these are for the customers okay no drinking on the job all right now um I'm going to show you the cast register okay okay Jeffy so we call this the cash register it's where we put all the money that the customers give us okay now the number one rule of the cash register is that you never steal money from the drawer okay only Savannah gets to do that yeah yeah big bills get the big bills Savannah make sure you're wearing your gloves you don't want to leave any fingerprints I love her but you don't get to do that okay only Savannah gets to do that all right so whenever a customer comes in you're going to say welcome to Jimmy John's what can I do oh God hey hey hey I delivered the sandwich oh that's great that's great you did this this here was uh this is Bethany uh she's really happy all the time time for some reason and uh I've even tried firing her and she just never believes me watch this hey Bethany you're fired oh you yeah that's right you see what I mean she she just nothing goes through okay so uh I think you're ready to start get back here okay huh looks like there's $75 missing from the register hey hey Bethany do you know who took $75 from the register NOP look at that you don't see that nope I'm going to get her eventually hey excuse me you got a bathroom uh bathrooms are for paying customers only oh how much is this cup I can pee in the cup you know what just just take the cup oh I'm also kind of hungry what do you got on the menu well what do you want it's right up there uh I'll take a 16 in Garg doing uh that'll be 20 bucks oh here you go here you go all right thank you all right Jeffy we got to go gantu one what is that it means you got to put everything on it everything you see here even even it ew it's that I I don't even want to look at it everything okay uh what's next e cheese and paper ham roast beef s ready all right I'm talking out more like cashing out right right Savannah what Jeffy what did you do to that sandwich you made a mess what God who's going to clean this up me me me I'll clean it up yeah yeah Jeffy you can't be throwing sandwiches okay I I I don't think you can handle sandwich duty all right I'm I'm putting you on the register since Savannah left okay okay welcome to Jeffy John what can I get for you uh I'll take 16 in of nothing but meat and then I'll have a sandwich so what do you want I guess I'll take the peeee what uh number one up there it says number one is the peeee oh okay the peeee what size do you want uh I guess I'll have a giant peeee all right one giant peee coming right up nice ew ew ew oh my God tomatoes are so gross and Savannah's gone who's going to clean this up hey I need a giant pain paint yeah no kidding kid don't we all but it's not easy being a grow and not a show look I've learned two things in life either you can have a lot of money or a giant peeee and I have neither that's why I work here I was talking about the sandwich oh the the Pepe yeah okay Bethany hey I I need you to make a sandwich okay and you clean up these disgusting Tomatoes too okay oh what to Jeffrey Johns what can I get for you I'm really hungry do you have food oh yeah we got a bunch of food uh can I have it what do you want um I I I I guess I I'll take a a number one okay number one and the number six number six and the number 11 okay and the number nine all right and the number 17 okay and uh just a whole whole bunch a whole bunch of drinks okay I got coming right up for you all right thanks for the sandwiches sandwich man' no problem come again wow Jeffy you just sold a lot of sandwiches I sure did did I do a good job yeah you did a real good job look look at how much money you just made what uh um Jeffy what there should be a lot more money in here from all the sandwiches that you just sold and uh Savannah already clocked out so I know she didn't take it uh you did you steal any money from the drawer no they never gave me money excuse me what they they didn't give you any money no they didn't offer you've been giving away sandwiches for free yeah oh man oh God the B the boss is going to be so mad about this what did I just hear uh sir I I I didn't know you'd be coming in today did I just hear you say you've been giving away free sandwiches no no no no no no not me the new guy how did you even hear that my surveillance camera with audio heard your dirty little mouth say that you've been giving away free sandwiches I I I I did not know it had audio and you know Savannah Yeah by your duck oh come on not Savannah just take what she stole out of my pay oh I was planning on all $852,000 coming out of your paycheck oh she stole that much oh yeah oh that's my girl my great-grandfather Jimmy John Goodman did not start a company making sandwiches for you two to ruin his name uh I'm really sorry sir I promise it's not going to happen again new guy get the [ __ ] [ __ ] out and you you need a spanking excuse me a spanking what these are your balls I hope jeffy's having a good first day at work hey Daddy oh hey Jeffy how was work it was great Daddy I got fired fired how'd you get fired I was giving away free sandwiches why would you do that cuz they were hungry daddy Jeffy you're supposed to charge money for the sandwiches that's how a business works but they didn't have any money daddy well then you tell them to get out the store I can't believe you got fired that means you're not going to make any money and you're not going to be able to buy that battle pass fortnite thing but D actually did get money what she I got 20 bucks right here where'd you get the 20 bucks from I stole it from the cash register stole it Jeffy you're not supposed to steal bad you're not supposed to steal stuff Jeffy but everyone else was doing it Jeffy if everybody jumped off a bridge would you Daddy we've been over this if I'm getting that battle pass where's that [ __ ] Bridge dad cuz I'm [ __ ] jumping Jeff no there is no bridge I'm saying you're not supposed to do it just just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you have to do it you know I'm going to go return this $20 you're not supposed to steal it's a good thing I got another 20 bucks actually took 40 battle pass here I come dude dude dude guess what I just got invited to PJ caw's major Ranger party PJ crw here Jam CAW Jamie James crw you know dude look it's right here the invitation is right here oh that's an official signature yeah dude guys guys guys I just got invited to PJ cr's major rager party PJ CAW there Jamie CAW Jamie James CAW that one yeah his signature is right there wait he invited you do the major rager yeah and all this talk about major ragers is giving me a major rager in my pants well why would he invite you guys and not me I don't know Junior I guess we're just cool yeah sorry dude hey what's up haters PJ crw hey Jimmy crw Jimmy J crw boys boys calm down it's just me uh PJ crinch are your coolness you may speak um I was wondering since you invited both my friends to your major ragor party that maybe I just might be lucky enough to be invited to your party what do you think I came bro Bethany give the man his invite here here you go you're so lucky oh my God guys I'm invited PJ's major Ranger that's a good thing too Junior cuz if you weren't going to that party we never would have talked to you ever again yeah you would have been a total loser dude well good thing I was invited guys hey guys old man oh we're all going to a party Jeffy you want to come yeah I want to come to a party PJ can he come oh definitely not what why because Jeffy tried to steal my girls one time and that is an immediate no no in PJ's book that that that's really sad because he won't be invited he'll feel left out yeah I don't don't care he's not coming well jeffy's 18 maybe he can buy stuff for your party that you can't get huh well we do need root beer for the party and none of us are old enough to buy it ourselves okay I'll tell you what if Jeffy brings root beer for the party he's invited you hear that Jeffy all you have to do is get root beer you can go to the party okay I can buy root beer I even got my own car all right there will be root beer there okay good so you bring the root beer you're in come on ladies I want to bounce and I'm not talking about leaving guys we're going to the major Ranger anybody who's anyone's going to be there kind of Rage dude yeah okay so guys let's go to the party wait wait wait wait guys we have to get root beer for Jeffy oh oh yeah we have to get the root beer first Jeffy let's go get ruber you're driving us okay PJ throws the best party yeah he does yeah yeah I know how to throw a major Ranger I thought you said there was going to be R beer yeah yeah there there will be I I don't know where that guy is right now I'm leaving if there's no root beer no no don't worry there's there's going to be root beer wait I think that's the guy right now hello we got the root beer oh thank God bro the chicks were going to leave chicks s dicks yeah come on in let's go oh ladies the root beer here I want I want I want drink up boys come on what are you doing get some root beer let's [Music] party I'm already drank five Ro be drink up this party's never going to end dude I'm going run on a roof I'm me eat butt yeah oh man I drank so much root beer oh dude the room spin please make it stop it's not going to stop Joey that we're on a planet that's spinning Planet junior junior junior junior I have to tell you you're hot huh you're so hot oh you're so hot vanilla puff oh my god do you want to go in my room and make out this is your house yeah my dad's going to kill me wooo dude you got to do it she DTF DTF now hold on B me and Joseph made a pack a blood pack okay he said if I ever went to a girl's room you're a girl I'd have to invite him yeah and I'm him okay so he can come okay got in there here I lost my hand what Cory what happened to your hand I put it in the garbage disposal and it took it Joey someone stole Go's head oh who stole your head dude I'll beat who did it who did it I promise it was the disposal okay Show Yourself where is he it's probably covered in biscetti okay that's it we can clean it off dud that's it we're going to kick his ass where oh no she fell asleep no one's Freak Me Now hey Junior junor you meet me in the closet I will rock your world oh I will I will take that offer ja me me hey we're all out of roof fear roof bear can you go get some yeah I'm going drive and get it yeah go get some more God okay we're got to go find your hand Cody and then we got to go to closet high five you know what I'm going to join you guys forg it yeah I can't wait for this shift to be over I I really hope Penelope is not doing something stupid at home never left a home alone before what what what oh my God this guy's drunk driving I got to go after [Music] him why is this road so curvy oh Dr my roof beer oh my God this man is not stopping pull over you jackass you're going to hurt somebody what the hell are you doing what come on just pull over what what oh Jesus Jesus oh my God oh my God okay okay okay he stopped he stopped oh my God excuse me sir have you been drinking tonight hold on let me get something don't don't don't reach for anything what are you doing I had to get my root beer what is it root beer it sure is well then why are you acting like this I'm not acting like nothing what okay I guess I can add littering to the list of charges step out of the car please do I have to yes you have to okay well let me just I'm sorry do you think you're driving away right now cuz you're not grew you okay it would be resisting arrest if you were okay all right that's it get out of the come on he don't touch me okay we're going to do a field sobriety test to see if you're drunk okay all right now try to say ABC's backward I can't even say him forward okay well then try to walk in a straight line what okay no no no no okay forget it um try to touch your finger finger to your nose no that's that's not even close okay how about this uh count to five okay that's it come on come on we're going to jail all right make you one phone call hey stop stop it stop touching my hat just make your phone call don't lick it that's you know what give it to me I'll here Daddy I'll call him hello hey this is jail oh no who got arrested I caught your son drinking and driving what that is my D what did Jeffy do he was drinking and driving I just told you well like what do you mean we were drinking don't don't chew on that okay I I think you should just come get him please I'm on my way would you stop it just get in there until your dad gets you stop licking things it's gross you're going to get sick e okay I'm here get him but Jeffy stop that what was he drinking well see that's the thing he wasn't drink anything bad what he was just drinking root beer smack that [ __ ] I don't I don't know what this is if he was just draking root beer why is he arrested I I I don't know why he's acting like this okay but but he was he was driving recklessly and he tried to resist arrest so that's what I charged him with oh okay that's it so so what so how do we get the the charges dropped well I'm going to need him to go to an AA meeting so that he can see that it's not funny to make fun of people who actually have problems R nipples okay so please get him out of here oh we're going to go to an a meeting come on all right Jeffy you're going to sit right here and ooh I can't even go over all the levels of grounded you are what's the first level and is the boss heart at the end what's going on Marvin Jeffy got arrested for drinking and driving Jeffy how could you you're not old enough to drink alcohol it was root beer and it got me [ __ ] up that's a Gateway drink Jeffy it has the word beer in it yeah Jeffy you know no sodas after 8:00 p.m. well I'm a rebel and no Red Bull either well what's his punishment Marvin well the cop said he has to go to an AA meeting for his drinking problem I don't have a problem with how much I drink you have a problem with how much I drink you were swerving all over the road you could have killed someone Jeffy Jey you're going to that meeting so you can learn your lesson it was root beer Penelope I'm home you better not have thrown a crazy party wait a minute I hear music I hate music what what the Penelope all right guys we never speak about what happened in the closet I don't know what you're talking about about dude what are you boys doing in my house oh [ __ ] it's the pigs back in the closet the another Cates here panel Pig everybody out of my way I got my mad eyebrows on why do you have your mad eyebrows on cuz I want to ask your son a question where were you taking that R beer to my belly don't you lie to me I'll kill you what what's going on my daughter threw a major rager at our house while I was at work she invited that PJ CR Shaw pair of jam CR Shaw Jamie jams cring Shaw now he seems pretty cool but I'm pissed at your son for bringing that root beer why aren't you mad at your daughter oh don't worry I already gave her an earful of eardrops cuz she has an ear infection but I will yell at her later when she feels better well don't worry we're going to take Jeffy to his AA meeting well I'm going to take him right now cuz I'm so mad come on Jeffy let's go hey everybody Welcome to AA addictions Anonymous this is a space where we can all talk about our addictions and relate to each other so that we know that we're all struggling okay scre ball we'll start with you hi everyone my name's screw ball I'm addicted to every substance Under the Sun I'm ordered by the court to be here and I just wanted to say I'm sorry okay thank you screw ball uh how long have you been sober uh about 15 minutes okay that's a good start thank you I'm trying really hard hey can I smoke this candle no okay Judy let's go to you hey everyone my name is Judith and I'm addicted to BBC ever since I first had BBC I just can't stop thinking about it it's so delicious I just love having BBC in my mouth I just love bacon broccoli casserole oh that does sound good oh it is it's something healthy mixed with something very unhealthy in one big casserole and when I eat BBC sometimes I like to watch BBC the British Broadcasting Corporation that's how I found out the queen died I was so shocked I choked on some BBC and I was like and my husband was like honey what are you doing and I said I'm choking on BBC and that's when I knew I had a problem but I'm proud to say I've gone a whole day without BBC I'm proud of you I wish I could go a whole day without blow see damn it there I go again all right Judith that's that's good okay Shrek it's your turn hello everybody my name is Shrek I am addicted to eating theer cream cream cream cheesecake and when I eat it my butthole it separate and it looks like overbaked muffin with the steam possibly coming out and then it just kind of folds over the sides of the little cupcake pan and then it's just like steamy goodnesses okay screw ball could you please not smoke in here sorry do Jeffy it's your turn hey everyone my name's Jeffy and I drank root beer and I don't know how to drive really well so I got in trouble for that well he didn't learn anything and you have two Candles now okay well I still appreciate all of you coming out this is a step in the right direction and to everyone watching this video thank you for watching and make sure you like And subscribe and if you learn anything from this video let it be that you should drive carefully and don't drink well I mean you can drink root beer just not the second word in root beer and definitely not while driving and don't put candles in your mouth yeah okay that that about covers it I'm going go all right Jeffy I'm going to throw the baseball and you're going to hit it okay Jeffy stop hitting yourself with the bat Jeffy stop it all right Jeffy I'm going to throw the ball and you're going to hit it okay [ __ ] why would you throw that ball at me Jeffy you're supposed to hit it [ __ ] you Jeffy look when you play baseball you throw a ball and you hit it with the bat okay so look hit this ball with the bat when I throw it [Music] okay I can't wait to give Mario's house payment he's late JY run inside run inside run inside you've got to be [ __ ] kidding me what the [ __ ] why are we running shine Danny I hit the ball I know you hit the ball Jeffy but it hit Goodman's windshield and it cracked it and now he's going to come here to kill us okay what are we going to do we got to think we got to think fast uh okay I'm going to lie I'm going to say it wasn't us uh Jeffy I need you to go upstairs and pretend to be asleep well I'm not tired dad pretend to be asleep damn it fine you can say please next time [ __ ] okay he be here in a second uh let me get ready let me get ready uh hello is this your [ __ ] baseball uh no no why would that be my baseball no I don't even own a baseball why would you even asked me if that's my baseball it's that's weird well the weirdest thing happened Mario I was in your neighborhood coming to your house to get your house payment and I looked up to check the weather and I was like holy [ __ ] the weatherman lied to me he said it was supposed to be sunny but it wasn't it was Cloudy with a Chance a [ __ ] baseball and this baseball landed and cracked my windshield [ __ ] me right it cracked your windshield oh yeah oh my I'm so sorry I don't know who would do that must be some hoodlum kids or something doing that I don't know well are you sure it wasn't you and your your son my son Jeffy Jeffy would never do that Jeffy doesn't even own a baseball oh that's really [ __ ] weird because it says jeffy's favorite ball on it that that is weird why why would does it say that you know what I I think we're framed I think the neighbor is trying to frame us and and they wrote that on the baseball and then cracked your windshield framed yeah framed well frame a picture of my stretched out ass Mario uh well well it wasn't it wasn't us I promise I I swear you you can even ask my son but he he's he's sleeping well I'm going to wake him up I'm waking him up I'm going to ask him Jeffy wake up all right Goodman you want to see my son Jeffy well look here he is sleeping with his baseball bat does that say jeffy's favorite bat yeah and this says jeffy's favorite ball oh come on don't you think these two items are related Mario no no no no I I think it's a coincidence you know I think we're being framed still by the neighbor well damn the Trail's gone cold how am I going to solve this case of whose [ __ ] ball this is well it it's not ours it's it's not ours you don't think Jeffy used his favorite bat to hit his favorite ball which hit my favorite windshield Jimmy Jimmy why would you do that you talking about jimy oh my God you talk about Jimmy oh my God I got to call a doctor I have to call a doctor hey you called the doctor yeah thanks for coming see my friend here is knocked unconscious and I want to know if he's dead or not all right I'll take a look mhm M mhm mhm yeah he's dead oh no he shampoos and conditions his hair is really soft but is he dead or not um no no he does have a really big bump on his head though what happened to him oh well uh he bumped his head from uh uh jumping on the bed yeah jumping on the bed now I said no more monkeys jumping on the bed I was very clear about that I know but he couldn't help himself you know he's alive where am I what's my name who who who are you guys he he can't remember anything I guess he has Amnesia from that bump on his head Amnesia uh your name is Mr Goodman Mr Goodman yeah and the reason you were here is because uh you're going to give each of us a couple million dollars yep a couple million yeah yeah yeah millions of dollars yep a couple million dollars yeah each yeah you said you going to give it to us like right now nice try [ __ ] I remember everything you hit me in the head with a baseball bat no I I didn't hit you in the in the head with a baseball bat that was Jeffy I did not do that no it was an accident it was a complete accident why can't I feel my legs why can I move my arms I I can't move any of my muscles in my body wait wait what I can't move why can't you move doctor I guess getting hit on the head caused him to be paralyzed from the neck down wait are you just joking with us I'm not joking Mario I can't move a muscle you you can't move no that's not good so can can you fix it no there's no fix for paralysis well you you can't you don't have like medicine or something no there's no medicine for this kind of thing okay so what do we do well somebody has to take care of them but take care of him uh yeah and cuz you caused this it has to be you well me yeah you that's right Mario you get over here and you wipe my ass I'm not I'm not doing that you're a doctor why why don't you do it you you deal with gross stuff all the time I'm not a doctor do you see this shirt I got this at a Halloween store Mario my ass needs wiping what but you come on you you you can move look look you can you can you can move oh come on nope oh come on look you're not really paralyzed like your leg is it's it's I'm like a spaghetti noodle Mario okay F fine I'll wipe you but are did you even have an accident yep wet and floppy spaghetti noodle all right Goodman I put a diaper on you in case you have another accident oh it wasn't an accident Mario oh well in case you poop again uh just say uh I made a messy so I'll know when you poop okay hey Mario what I just took a [ __ ] right in my diaper right right in your diaper oh yeah a big rhinoceros [ __ ] okay well anyway is there anything you need is there anything I can get you yeah my diaper changed but I just put one on you you can't just I mean you you can't even feel it right so why don't you just sit there in it you know rhinoceros [ __ ] fine I'll change it okay Goodman I just changed your diaper is there anything else you need yeah I'm actually really hungry Mario okay you're hungry what do you want a filet Manan a filet Manan you mean like the steak Yeah medium rare pepper corned with blue cheese crumbles and a side of caviar caviar where am I going to find caviar at I don't know where to get that I don't know Mario but you better find it because I'm paralyzed because of you okay fine I'll find a way to get it is there anything else you want yeah one more thing Mario can you hand me the remote control hand you the remote it it's right here I'm paralyzed Mario oh yeah I forgot okay so how are we're going to do this where do you want it just put it in my mouth a that's what she said wow wow Mario just wow a grown man is on your couch in a diaper because you paralyzed him and at this horrific moment of my life you're going to sit there and make a that's what she said joke wow I'm a appalled I'm appalled that you would make that sort of joke Mario I'm sorry I I I didn't know it was going to hurt that bad that's what she said here okay Goodman steak is almost done hey Dad look at my pee pee Jeffy that's not a peee that's a squash what is a squash it's a vegetable Jeffy oh like the guy upstairs no Jeffy it's a vegetable just put put it back put it wherever you found it okay do you want me to squash it no it's it's called a squash I don't want you to squash it look I'm working on a steak Jeffy just don't don't bother me okay gu okay I think I think it's almost done you wanted medium rare squash stop it stop it no no don't squash it get out of here with that get out of here with that don't don't get near the steak it's done anyway all right Goodman I got your dinner right here I got your fan Yan medium rare with peppercorns I got your caviar and I didn't have any blue cheese so I got you American cheese oh what I didn't know we were playing hockey Mario what hockey yeah that damn hockey puck on my plate covered in rolly poliy oh no no no that that's your F andan it's medium rare uh-huh my ass and what about this cat throw up oh no no that's your caviar uh-huh sure and there's still plastic on the cheese I didn't ask for oh plastic oh yeah I'll take it off right now no no no I'm not going to eat that Mario you want you want to know what I want you to do what I want you to take this butter knife down here and just castrate me cuz I would enjoy that a lot more more than eating this dinner go ahead I'm ready for my neuter oh okay what do you want me to do Goodman you want me to recook everything I can recook everything no Mario I've completely lost my appetite but I'm beginning to work up a [ __ ] so change me change you again yes change me all right Jeffy we're going to give Mr Goodman a bath but he's paralyzed from the neck down so he can't keep his head up so I need you to keep his head up so he doesn't drown okay I'm going to die all right uh keep his head up don't let go of it I'm going to get a shampoo okay all right I got the shampoo oh my God hey guys look I found your pumpkin with a pee pee on it J that's not a pumpkin that's a squash no ddy the pee pee back there was a squash there's a pumpkin with a pee peee that's a squash give Mr Good out the bathroom he's drown I don't know how to swim Daddy save him Jeffy daddy Goodman I'm so sorry my son almost let you drown Mario you are the worst caretaker I've ever seen well no don't say that I'm trying I really am trying well you're not trying trying hard enough well yeah I am I cooked you dinner I gave you a bath I've changed your diaper like 5,000 times Mario a deaf blind dumb person can do a better job than you're doing you know what Goodman you are the meanest person ever you know what you deserve to be paralyzed from the neck down because you're mean and you're greedy and this is karma for everything you've ever done to anybody else in the world you take that back right now Mario no no no no you deserve all this to happen to you Goodman you really do deserve it and you know what I don't have to make a house payment this month I don't have to make a house payment ever again because you're paralyzed so you can't make me yeah you still have to pay your ass payment Mario no I don't and look you know what I'm going to go drive your Lamborghini because you're paralyzing the neck down so you can't stop me that's it I've had enough of this stop no no stop right there Mario you're not taking my Lamborghini how are you moving it's a big [ __ ] miracle Mario I was faking it the whole time faking it yeah cuz you inconvenience me by breaking my windshield so I was going to inconvenience you by making you my servant for 2 weeks two weeks yep two [ __ ] weeks Mario but I couldn't keep that [ __ ] going because you were just screwing everything up so you were just Faking It yep you gave me cat throw up a hockey puck for steak and what the what the hell that cheese that was plastic cheese so you were literally just faking all that just to just make me your servant yep but I couldn't keep it going anymore Mario I held my breath for 5 damn minutes underneath that bathtub while your kid playing with a pumpkin so Mario I'll be back tomorrow for your house payment have a good night hey Daddy what this thing e Jeffy Jeffy don't touch that it smells bad where'd you find that at I found it behind the toilet well put it back what is it it's a toilet plunger what it do well when there's poop in the toilet you stick that in it why don't you just flush the toilet because sometimes there's too much poop in the toilet and you have to get it out with that so how do you use this you just scoop the poop out and make a poop sickle no why don't you just use a spoon or a fork or chopstick that would be gross Jeffy you're supposed to use that so then how do you use this you stick it in like this that's what she said no Jeffy flip it around what like this yeah and then and then you get on and you you do this oh yeah Daddy work that pole no no Jeffy look just put it back where you found it why you didn't like it no Jeffy I don't like it get it away from meff I don't like [Applause] it SP on oh I got take shower I got to take a shower e my face e JY put that back I'm going to go wash my face just just watch TV or something St you smell it breaking news the loty is at $100 million and the winning numbers are 15 22 25 59 61 and 6 good luck to whoever has that ticket hold on to it tight so it doesn't blow away in the wind and that takes me to the weather forecast it's going to be windy 100% chance chance of wind powerful enough to snatch a lottery ticket right out of your hand $100 million is a lot of money all right I'm back I just took the world's quickest shower Mario did you hear the lottery is at $100 million it doesn't matter it's Jeffy stop it go brush your teeth all right it doesn't matter it's rigged no one's ever going to win it anyway they do say it's the idiot's tax what's your lottery well Jeffy if you have a piece of paper with those numbers on it you win $100 million all right hold on where's my 100 million bucks no Jeffy it has to be a lottery ticket with those numbers and it has to be before they announced the numbers well how was I supposed to know what the numbers were going to be before they even announced it well you're supposed to guess well I think the next one's going to be four well Jeffy five more numbers and you might have it all right seven no Jeffy there's no point guessing it has to be 16 Jeffy no go buy a ticket if you 23 it doesn't matter there's not another drawing 54 the next drawing is next week do 16 well maybe you won je Jeffy look look it doesn't matter it does not matter the lottery you have to be 18 to play it anyway what am I supposed to do this thing go put it back behind the toilet go take out the trash do your chores well well if you want me to take out the trash and you got to come with me cuz you're trash I take you out Jeff Jeffy look go put that behind the toilet and go take out the trash and do your chores okay Daddy jeffy's so annoying D go l no go I got to take another shower look for something to eat H toilet paper oh man oh man I ain't taking out the trash I want see if I can make it from right here Kobe yay I made it oh what is that let me see what it is what is this thing it's just a piece of paper with stupid numbers all over it I've already had two showers today want to make it three no hey D I just took out the trash good boy Jeffy Mario could you imagine if we won the lottery I know $100 million that would change our lives but how would we have guessed the numbers 15 22 25 59 61 and six wait a minute wait Jeffy where are you going oh Jeffy where is he where is he where's the winning ticket with the numbers on it what is this oh that's not it those aren't the winning numbers where is it where is it what's wrong Jeffy I won the lottery but I lost the ticket sure you did Jeffy yeah you and your big imagination mom Daddy what happens when you win the lottery you take it to the lottery office and they give you the money Jeffy where are you going he's just being stupid just sit down baby breaking news K the winner of the $100 Million jackpot has stepped forward come on in Jeffy what Jeffy has decided that he does not want to claim the $100 million in cash but he would rather have A1 Million worth of bouncy balls because he doesn't want to pay taxes what an idiot Jeffy won the lottery but he didn't take the money he took the prize and bouncy balls hey Daddy you like all my bouncy balls Jey you won the lottery you didn't take the money you took it at bouncy balls Mario what else do you expect he's just a kid he could have taking the money and he could have changed our lives forever but dny I did change our lives forever we have more bouncy balls now than than we ever did before what are we going to do with all these bouncy balls Jeffy bounce them oh Mario I like this one Jeffy we could have been millionaires well we are millionaires we're just bouncy ball millionaires I feel all sticky and gross I think I I need to take a bath I need to take a bath I had two showers today but now I need to take a bath oh I hate my life I hate my life okay okay I'm just going to take a nice warm bath and hold my head under the water until I can't breathe anymore that sounds perfect yeah yeah but D you put B balls in the back look Mario I'm collecting all the purple on that's great baby how was your bath Mario I didn't get to take a bath tell her why Jeffy cuz I put bouncy balls in the bathtub he put bouncy balls in the bathtub a that's so cute Jeffy it K it's not cute it's inconvenient the bathtub was full of bouny balls well then take a shower like an adult Mario he's just being creative he's not being creative he ruined my life Jeffy why did you take bouncy balls instead of the money well Daddy what am I going to do with $100 million put it in the bank let it collect interest what happens if the government shuts down or the stock market crashes then I lose all my money so instead I invested in something tangible see these bouncy balls this bouncy ball right here has got gold in it mhm it's going to be the next Bitcoin and when it blows up I'm going to be sitting pretty daddy I'm going to be Jeffy Bezos you are so stupid Mario he is I'm stupid who's the one that doesn't have bouncy balls you okay you know what yeah fine yeah let's just sort the bouncy balls and to different colors that sounds fun right okay Mario you can collect the blue ones yeah you already gave me blue balls today so yeah let's start collecting the blue ones oh I found another one yeah let's do that instead of having a $100 million in cash let's just play with 100 million boun ball like little kids see oh look how fun this is this is fun it's fun day oh yeah yay M I can't wait to heat up my pizza what where did all this mounty balls come from oh God you know what I don't even care I'm not even going to let it bother me I'm not going to clean it up I'm just going to get a drink for the refrigerator all right let's see what we have to drink where are these bouncy balls coming from Mario all right I'm almost done with my blue pile I have so many different piles Mario isn't this fun no hey Daddy I'm collecting giraff balls and Y balls that's real nice Jeffy Mario what's wrong Chef peipi why are there bouncy balls in my microwave and in the refrigerator right here that's me right here Jeffy won the lottery and instead of taking the money he took them in bouncy balls that's stupid yeah and he decided to put the bouncy balls all throughout the house cuz he doesn't know where to store him at well get him out of my kitchen I'm not cleaning it up breaking news K due to people counterfeiting and printing their own money the United States is no longer using Cash's currency we will now be using bouncy balls as a new currency so if you want to buy something you have to pay for it in bouncy balls what bouny balls can be used as money now uh actually never mind I'll clean it up well well well who's the idiot now Mario we're rich yeah we are rich actually I'm rich well I guess that's true Jeffy what do you want to buy with your millions of bouncy balls H take me to McDonald's all right grab some bouncy balls welcome to McDonald's how may I take your order Jeffy what do you want Happy Meal can we get a Happy Meal uh yeah it'll be four bouncy balls please Jeffy do you have four bouncy balls right here pay the man okay then here's your Happy Meal sir oh thank you mhm this ridiculous all right we're back did the bouncy balls work Mario what it look like Mommy I got my Happy Meal so I'm happy as insert s word that's so cool I can't believe you you're rich Jeffy I stay Rich mommy well Jeffy is there any way that Mommy and Daddy can borrow some bouncy balls to pay some bills sure daddy but you can only have the bouncy balls that are not on this couch oh my God Jeff has bouncy balls hidden throughout the house he has like a lot in the bathtub where else do you have bouny balls hidden Jeffy um I got the bathtub and um the toilet the toilet oh my God baby we're rich there's like a million in the bathtub and there's probably like a couple thousand in the toilet hold on I'm going to use the ice cream scooper I'm going to get the bouncy balls come on all right there it is is the gold mine I'm going start taking out with my hands no Daddy let's use a thing that you said Works wow daddy it's really getting them out of there isn't it I I lied let's let's use our hands all right all right baby we just got these out of the toilet we're rich E Mario they're dirty I don't care clean money Dirty Money I Want It Anyway breaking news the United States is going back to using cash is currency because we realized that bouncy balls was a stupid idea what so these these bouncy balls are useless a but they're pretty to look at Mario hey Daddy I fixed your toilet plunger now it's easier for you to get the poop out see if you put it like this you scoop up all the poop look at that that's a lot of poop somebody please help me oh shut up I don't know why you're screaming no one's going to stop me ah let her go or suffer the consequences baby thank God you're here you're so brave and so sexy wait who is he with that gorgeous hair I shampoo and condition so sexy oh the hair it's my only weakness are you ready to die oh he can fly too of course I can I'm super hair man super super ha super super man hair it's te I got you baby I got you baby I saved you thank you so much for saving me oh hey watch the hair oh man it was just a dream I wish my life was like that dream a full head of hair can you imagine me being a sexy beast oh my life is so sad huh who's at the door oh they probably woke me up for my dream hello hey you want to see my pencil wait your pencil wait who are you what what are you doing here oh my name is Jeffy she saying on my shirt Jeffy what Jeffy what's this note say oh it says I'm a good boy please babysit sorry I'm not a babysitter what are you doing here oh my mom dropped me off and she said that my name is Jeffy and now I'm a good boy well your mom needs to pick you back up because I'm not a babysitter so where she at where'd she go oh she drove off she drove off how how am I supposed to take you back to her look look how about this how about you want to see my pencil you've already showed me that see it can go on my nose look don't do that why cuz you're going to hurt yourself why because pencils aren't supposed to go in noses why because it hurts why stop saying why why no don't start shouting you want to see me draw a pretty picture no no more no pretty picture I'm drawing on your wall it's a pretty picture stop it why what if I came to your house and Drew a pretty picture on your wall go for it no no no go for it yes go for it stop it all what what was that what are you doing no look look how about you come inside and I give you some gummies gummy yeah gummies okay yeah come come on let's find your mom oh God why is this my life why do you show up at my door all the house of the neighborhood he chose mine okay look I'm going to give him the gummies and I'm going to call Rose for help hey Jeffy I got your gummies why because I said i' get you gummies feed me I'm a giraffe Oh no you're not a giraffe going right here yeah gummy does go right there but you can put the gummy there you don't no no no wa why are you wearing a diaper in case I poop my pants but the diapers on the outside of your pants yeah so I won't get dirty but then but then your pants will get dirty okay look here's a whole box of gummies you can just eat these and have wait wait what are you do it stop it I'm trying to put a pencil in my nose and I said stop it the pencil does not go in your nose why because pencils aren't meant for noses then why is my nose have holes in it to to breathe does your nose have holes in it yes every nose has a hole in it then pin goes in no just because a pencil will fit in it doesn't mean it should go in it so look open your nose no open the nose yes open your nose look look look just eat your gummies okay you want to see my penil I've seen it you show it to me every 5 Seconds you can just eat the gummies and I'll be right back come on answer the phone answer the phone why do you have a phone if you don't answer it hey baby hey hi hey hi okay look I have a huge problem baby I know you're bald but we talked about it you can get the hair implant I don't want the hair implant that's not the problem well what other problems do you you have other than being bald Marvin Marvin that's your name now oh we couldn't think of a better name than Marvin Just Go With It okay okay look look a kid showed up at my door oo was he selling cookies I wish he was selling cookies I think his mom abandoned him what yeah so I need you to come over right now okay okay okay I'm coming right now Marvin Marvin don't worry Jeffy help is on the way Jeffy why' you put that P on your nose what what did you say why' you put that pen on your nose I told you not to do it I can't hear you get the gummies out of your ears where my painel go try checking up your nose oh hold on just stay right here Rose is at the door just stay right here oh thank God you're here baby this kid literally shoved the pencil up his nose what why would you let him do that I didn't let him do it I told him not to do it and he did it anyway well I brought him a coloring book and some crayons I thought he might like that well you know what he's going to do with those crayons he's going to shove them up his nose cuz he thinks that his nose has holes in it that stuff supposed to go up there oh Marvin he's not going to do that just come inside okay all right baby he's in here but don't get too close to him I don't know what he might do to you what's wrong Marvin he he was right here he's not here oh no he's loosing the house it's going to be okay no no it's not okay you know he's crazy he put these gummies in his ears he has a p on his nose that's not sanitary it's not sanitary he he's insane he might destroy the house we have to look for him okay he has a blue helmet on a yellow shirt this say Jeffy on it you look that way I'll look this way okay Jeffy Jeffy where are you uh I want to see your pencil oh God what if he starts a fire uh Marvin I think I found him you did don't don't get near him all right baby where is he hey I'm a mommy you're not a mommy Jeffy why you making a mess with the toilet paper cuz I had to go poop poop well did you go poop poop yeah and the good news is is I'm wearing a diaper so we're all good there well that's good no it's not good cuz cuz the diaper is on the outside of his pants what so now your pants are all full of poop well at least the diaper is still clean but your pants are dirty bingo so who's going to wipe me hey can can can you wipe him absolutely not it's starting to itch it's starting to itch he's starting to run up my back it's starting to run up his back I will not please wipe me okay I will deal with him can you just please go try to call the cops and file a missing person report or or file a a found person's report just get rid of them okay okay Mar oh where my pel go me somebody kill me all right Jeffy we got you all cleaned up and now you can finish eating your gummies but my diaper still clean yeah because you crap inside your pants and not your diaper and my pants are dirty yeah because you crap inside your pants Jeffy Jeffy stop it stop doing that why why you doing that stop it Marvin Marvin what the cops are on their way they are thank God we're safe cuz Jeffy being really weird right now look what he's doing he he keeps smacking his diaper and he's making that weird face and he won't answer me look Jeffy Jeffy stop it Jeffy Jeffy stop doing that right now Jeffy please Jeffy How Could You Jeffy there's a lady right here you going do it in front of a lady Jeffy stop it please stop it oh grab the coloring book okay maybe that'll distract him hey Jeffy look at the coloring book coloring book yeah it's a coloring book have you ever colored one before no grab a crayon okay okay so so so the pages in this book you color them with a crayon oh oh I want The Quon I want The Quon for my nose no no no no no no you're not going to put that in your nose but my nose has an extra hole in it give me that's not what the holes are for you you use those for breathing you're not going to put a crayon in your nose well I want the crayon for my nose give me have it you're not putting it in your nose I wouldn't for my nose okay we're not going to give it to you if you're going to put it in your nose okay fine I won't put it in my nose you promise you're not going to put that in your nose yeah I promise okay give it to him but you better not put that in your nose you you better not put that in your nose don't you dare don't you dare no more crown for you bad boy you said Jey your bad boy what's happening I don't know what are you doing stop stop it say some good things um Jeffy you're a good boy yeah I'm a good boy I'm a good boy right here you're a good boy yes you're good good boy oh okay this is insane he's crazy oh oh the cops the cops are at the door okay keep an eye on them and I'm going to go to the door yay the cops are here the cops are here hello hey there you call the cops yes please kill me whoa do I get to take you to a padded room huh huh you little psycho a padded room how's that sound no no no I need your help come inside please okay all right Officer the problem's in here oh a blonde tell me about it then nothing but trouble what no no no not not not her him look I found my pencil well I'm glad you found your pencil Jeffy wait why is there a crayon in your nose Rose why is there a crayon in his nose I'm sorry I tried to stop but he was just so persistent uh why is there a crayon in his nose he likes to put things in his nose wait where my crayon go has anyone seen my crayon it's lell look officer look this is what happened look I was laying on the couch living the dream and out of nowhere I get a knock on the door and this thing that this person shows up at my door and he says his mom dropped him off and abandoned him so get rid of him please well hold on hold on let me just ask him a few questions first uh hey there Jeffy I see on your shirt it says your name's Jeffy so so what's your last name Jeffy your last name is Jeffy so your name is Jeffy Jeffy okay Jeffy yeah all right so so can I get an address where do you live Jeffy Jeffy you you live on Jeffy so like can I get a house number or something seven SE seven Jeffy so so your name is Jeffy Jeffy and you live on seven Jeffy seven Jeffy Street jeffy's this is going nowhere I know he's so dumb and he doesn't answer me he just does dumb stuff all the time so can you please just get rid of him CU I what what what's he doing with the what what oh okay what oh and then he does that yeah I don't know why stop him from doing that no I mean I look he's having a blast he's clearly enjoying himself I know but he's doing that in front of a lady he need to stop doing that I mean knock yourself out you know look look what happens when you call him a bad boy Jeffy you're a bad boy you said Jeffy a bad boy oh no no noop you're a good boy you're a good boy you're a good boy you said Jeff's a good boy yes yeah yes he's a lunatic so so get him out of my life now well see the problem is you find yourself in kind of a weird situation cuz uh you know there's that uh find his keeper losers weepers law what yeah so uh you know if you find a kid you're going to have to take care of him till you can find his parents that's the law sorry I've never heard of that before well there's nothing else I can do no no no no fighter Keepers Los we I don't want him I have to be dreaming I'm in a nightmare I'm in a nightmare no wake up please wake up please wake up please wake up please wake up please wake up huh it was just a dream it was just a dream it was just a really bad sucky dream oh thank God that would suck if that was real huh who's that hello hey you want to see my penil you want to see there everything is perfect for jeffy's 16th birthday party cupcakes Mario you should have gotten him a real cake well the store was sold out of real cakes and Jeffy loves cupcakes listen jeffy's not even going to remember that today's his birthday so this is going to be a big surprise party for him he's definitely going to remember it's his birthday Mario trust me baby he's not going to remember that today's his birthday he doesn't remember anything we'll see who birthday Jeffy birthday who birthday Jeffy birthday Daddy who birthday Jeffy birthday yeah Jeff jeffy's birthday wooo not going to remember huh happy birthday Jeffy oh thank you mother thank you Father I'm so happy to have both of my parents on my sweet 16 yeah you're my my big old boy is 16 years old and just two more years and we get that money Mario and since I turned 16 you know what that means Daddy what beep beep beep beep oh sorry I didn't see you back there please pull over never oh no a spike strip boom get him out of the car no you'll never take me alive you have the right to remain silent no no I now sentence you to 25 years to life oh look show drop je I don't get it you're supposed to give me a car daddy a car Mario it is his 16th birthday I'm not buying him a car Mario he doesn't know how to driveing he doesn't even have a license B birthday hat and Daddy I don't need a license cuz I'm 16 now Jeffy what are you going to do when you get pulled over and you don't have a license well if the police officer knows how to do his job I'll just tell him now I'm 16 and he'll let me go that's not how that works Mario you have to get your son a car for his birthday I'm not going to get him a car you didn't know how to drive I don't trust him behind the wheel of a car Mario you go get your son a car right now but where am I supposed to get that enough money go Mario go what you stupid hat anymore oh look Jeffy it's a car you're never going to have cuz your daddy hates you oh look oh W what is he doing he's playing with a toy car Mario since you wouldn't buy him a real one for his birthday well as a matter of fact I just bought him a car you did you got me a car Daddy yeah you're the best daddy ever I love you when you give me stuff and I don't even have to ask for it my Mario you're the greatest yeah yeah yeah I am all right Jeffy close your eyes let's go outside all right Daddy I'm just going to turn my eyes off all right Jeffy close your eyes all right daddy Jeffy I said close your eyes well Daddy turned my eyes off so now I can't see so it might look like my eyes are open but really I can't see anything cuz I turned my eyes off chy you can't turn your eyes off CU you cover your eyes fine Daddy all right and look this way when I tell you to you can look okay all right look surprise do you love it Danny I sure hope you wiped after you put this big pile of crap in your driveway Jeffy it's not a big pile of crap it's your first car Mario no that car was way too old in it's damaged well every kid needs a beat up car for their first car so they can beat it up well who owned it before you bought it Chris Brown cuz you sure beat it up well no Jeffy look it's supposed to be a car that you can you don't have to be afraid to wreck it because you know if you run into stuff you don't want to be worried okay so when I drive it I can run into stuff and hit people no no Jeffy you still can't hit people run into stuff then why' you buy me a car I was already beat up Mario new cars are safer and they have airbags yeah and more than one headlight what je just get inside it you might love it it's red okay well let's hope that the door handle is working there's actually seats all right Jeffy look just get inside you might love it Danny who blew a big fart and ripped his seat Well Jeffy look look we can just tape it Shrek drove it a few times so he ripped it but look just get in and look start the car you might love it where are we going what are you doing in here this is my home I no no no this is not your home I bought this car for $300 it's not your home you have to get out well d looks like he lives here so I'm not driving this car what Jeffy get out of this car Mario I can't believe you got Jeffy that piece piece of crap car strap it on and pound me Mommy it's not a piece of crap car it's red it's fast it's a Porsche Danny you can't spell Porsche without por and that car outside is poror and the last part of the word Porsche is sh because we have to be quiet because we might hurt its feelings talking about how poor it is so Daddy you hush your mouth Mario you couldn't have gotten him a nicer car than that well I don't have money just to drop on a new car all right daddy well then we better not eat ever again what does food have to do with any of this well if we can't afford a car then we sure can't afford food and you better turn off all these lines because if we can't afford a new car or food then we can't afford an El electricity I have money for bills I just don't have money for a new car well I bet you have a car well I do but I have to drive places I have to drive places too where are you have to go chuckecheese I can take you no I want to take me well Jeffy no what is that I think I think I hear cake hear cake daddy there better be a girl twerking downstairs if you say you can hear cake what here cake Mario I was trying to end the conversation cuz he was winning the argument Danny you're lucky and so am I cuz if this girl wouldn't have been down here twerking bottom you would have been getting a spanking on yours all right Jeffy let's light your birthday candles and you can blow out the candles we can sing you happy birthday all right dadd where's my cake that is your cake three tiny cupcakes where's my big cake well the stores were sold out of big cakes Danny who hurt you what what who hurt you as a kid to where when you grew up you had to make my life so bad Jeffy you better be grateful some kids don't even have birthday parties grateful get party shots but Jeffy baby can you answer the door I'm dealing with Jeffy okay Mario you got to be grateful Jeffy look just eat your cupcakes D the only thing I'm grateful for is this twerking bottom now I'm about to tame this bottom hello hey what's up gorgeous super D I haven't seen you in years ever since the breakup yeah you know I just been saving the world working on my abs oh you've always had the nicest ABS yeah go ahead and give him a punch just like all times oh okay ow yeah they're still rock hard so what are you doing here well you know I was saving a family of kittens from that tree over there and then I heard your voice with my super hearing so I decided to come see what you were up to oh well actually it's my son's birthday today son you didn't tell me you had a kid adopted oh thank God I was about to take off faster than a speeding bullet oh man and then I wouldn't want your perfect body to be ruined and you know how I don't like kids you know and then I wouldn't want to have to take care of a kid that wasn't mine and then one day he'd be like you're not my real dad and he'd be right I don't want to deal with all that well it was very nice seeing you wa wait wait wait wait uh can I come in oh sure I'm sure Jeffy would love to meet a superhero on his birthday yeah Spider-Man ain't get crap on me Jeffy please be happy if you're shining you know it cuz your daddy shcks raise your hand if you're sad and you know it cuz your daddy shcks raise your hand if you're sad then you know it then you really want to show it cuz your daddy sucks raise your hand Jeffy stop it Mario look who I found baby I thought we were hiring Spider-Man no silly this is one of my ex-boyfriends super D what up little man exboyfriend it was super deep you never told me about him oh Mario it was so long ago but it feels like it was just yesterday why did you guys break up it wasn't my abs I'll tell you that they are perfect no it wasn't the ABS he was just always gone Mario off saving the world and all the praise and the fame and the attention it was just too much to handle yeah it's understandable well I bet you he's not even really a superhero I bet he just dresses like that I bet he doesn't have any powers actually Mario he has cake Vision cake Vision yeah show them oh come on babe you know I don't like to show off that's the coolest cake ever thanks super D oh you are so cool super D yeah I know how' you just do that who's at the door is it another one of your ex-boyfriends probably not Mario better not be oh you are always so possessive well you two separate hold on let the door hello Hey fat boy what are you doing here phone call 911 say getting hot in here good getting hot I'm going to take off all my clothes it's getting hot in here so take all your clothes I am getting so hot sco's going to have to take his clothes off uh-oh there's my hose and hose no scooter hose can you get out of here okay this is really good cake super D yeah super D I wish you could be my daddy cuz my current daddy blows wa you guys are eating cake what happened to singing happy birthday oh we already sang Happy Birthday Mario you already sang it without me I'm jeffy's father I should be here for that hey you want some cake bro no I don't want some cake bro okay what's your problem man because you just shot cake out of your eyes I didn't shoot cake out of my eyes I turned your bad cake into better cake well my cake wasn't bad your your Cake's bad bad my cake was perfectly fine Mario who was at the door no one and I think it's time for super D to be leaving what does Super D even stand for super dumb well Rosalina gave me the name actually what yeah I don't really know what it stands for though cuz my name's Zach we thought about going with Zach attack but then yeah we went on one date and she wanted to call me super D afterward actually now that I think about it all the women I go out on dates with want to call me super D well I mean I do have mrss incredible powers from the waist down so I'm very tall well you know I I don't care I've had enough with you I think it's time for you to leave because me and Jeffy have to go drive his new car isn't that right Jeffy Daddy I don't want to drive that piece of crap car out there that car sucks I want a better nicer car a car with my face on well well you're not going to get that Jeffy huh a nicer car huh hold on you're going to fix our roof that's it roselina I don't want you talking to him ever again Mario I didn't invite him over he just showed up well that's weird and stalkerish so the first thing in the morning we'll go to the courthouse and get a string order on him Mario don't be ridiculous all right I'm back everybody come outside I got a cool surprise well no how about you just go outside and never come back we don't want to see your face again Mario don't be rude you're embarrassing me yeah you're embarrassing your uh what are you two again friends oh we're married look at my ring married all right it's time to use my divorce Vision no no no divorce Vision how about you you use your leave vision and go away for ever Vision because we don't want to see you ever again well I can't leave before Jeffy sees his cool new birthday present come on it's the driveway you got me a birthday present yeah close your eyes Jeffy let's go outside okay all right Jeffy open your eyes it can't be any worse than my Daddy's car it's PE that's the coolest car in the world thanks Super Daddy don't mention it son that is the greatest gift ever super D anything for you babe wait how did you do that well first I flew to a car dealership with my flying powers and then I picked up a car I liked with my super strength see my abs then I brought it back here and painted it to look like jeffy's face with my paint Vision paint Vision yeah it's just one of my many superpowers isn't he the greatest Mario well just cuz you can do a bunch of great things doesn't mean you're great I think that's actually the definition of greatness doing a bunch of great things hey Super Daddy you think we can go for a drive sure thing kiddo yay Mario why are you so mad because because your stupid dumb ex-boyfriend just showed up and it's all so cool and perfect why don't you go be with him he' make you happier Mario you don't need to get jealous I'm not jealous you're clearly jealous Mario I'm not jealous of his perfect ABS or his full head of hair or his superpowers or picking up cars or his cake Vision I I just think it's he's dumb Mario then why are you angry I'm I'm angry because he just showed up uninvited like call next time like don't just show up that's rude Mario can't we please just enjoy the day for Jeffy he's having a good time oh man I can't wait to catch me some Speeders got to beat my quota for the month come on where are you wa I clocked him going over 110 oh I love a good car chase wee wo just act natural I've dealt with these pigs before do you have any idea how fast you were going obviously not fast enough because you caught up with me B yeah well my haird dryer said you were going over 100 milph and by the way do you know this car was reported stolen stolen yeah apparently somebody just picked it up with their bare hands right off the dealership lot and flew away with it oh I didn't steal anything you might want to talk to this guy what super D is that you oh no what all right kid you're in a lot of trouble cuz I can't fly after him me I didn't even do anything just step out of the car H Mario there's someone at the door why don't you go answer it might be one of your other ex-boyfriends I don't know about like maybe this one's an astronaut or a rapper or an archaeologist oh Mario we don't talk about them what come on let's go answer uh hello what's going on here Daddy I arrested him wait wait wait wait wait this isn't right you get in front of me Jeffy why are you arrested I caught your son driving a stolen vehicle a stolen vehicle I thought super D bought it for him no you don't want to be messing with super D you know what the d stands for what dingling and it also stands for super delinquent cuz he's a super villain super villain but he always used his powers for good when we were dating oh yeah well you ever heard of super tax evasion cuz he did it you know you can't go saving all those people and destroying buildings without paying taxes I hate Super Dave he got me in trouble and then he left me there well thank you officer for bringing Jeffy back come on no no no no no jeffy's going to jail for 5 years well 5 years it's his birthday yeah well it's my birthday too and I don't get off of my birthday not even when I get home well is there anything we can do we don't want Jeffy going to jail H well if you throw me the best birthday party ever I'll let him go what I guess just take him to jail Mario we have to try all right come inside we'll try to throw you a party yay all right brooken guy you can have the rest of jeffy's cake yay cake and you can have a cupcake if you want one oh my God I love cupcakes I love cupcakes more than regular cake honestly if you just got me a cupcake instead of a normal cake I'd be just as is happy if not more so H so what do you want to do after to eat your cupcake well I really just hope you bought me a car for my birthday and honestly I don't even care what it looks like it could have four flat tires one headlight and a clown living in the trunk and I'd still be happy Jeffy are you having an epiphany um Daddy I just wanted to apologize because I've been a really bad booger lately and you just trying to be the tissue that extracts that booger from my Nel cat so I wanted to apologize for not being appreciative for the things that you were trying to get me yeah Mario we're really sorry I didn't realize super D was such a bad person until the cop told us well he's such a real super dag dingling so I'm glad you guys understand now and understand that I love you Jeffy and I love you too I don't want to lose anyone and let's just have a really awesome birthday and we all celebrate together okay Daddy wait wait wait is is that Christmas music yeah well that doesn't fit at [Music] all hello hi fat boy someone called 911 it's about noise complaint saying you weren't making enough noise get out of here okay happy birthday to me happy birthday to me Jeffy why are you singing that song Marvin it's not his birthday is it I don't think so cuz it's my birthday Daddy it's your birthday oh no Marvin it is his birthday how could we forget I don't know you ERS forgot my birthday no we didn't forget your birthday we just thought it was tomorrow that means you forgot we're sorry Jeffy you forgot my birthday we'll make it we'll make it up to you we'll make it up to you we'll make it up to you how are you going to un ruin my birthday uh we're going to give you the best birthday party ever like uh with a cake and confetti baby go get a cake confetti uh yeah we're we'll give you the best birthday ever so let's start with your birthday dinner where do you want to go for your birthday dinner Taco Bell Taco Bell yeah I want a bean taco from Taco Bell all right that's easy all let's go to Taco Bell thank you for tasing Taco Bell what can I get sod for you today uh just one second what do you want Jeffy I wanted Taco okay with beans with beans yep just beans only beans and shell okay and don't forget to haunt Josh don't for okay can I get a taco all right that's one crunchy taco what else for you and hot sauce 182 please don't forget the hot sauce if you forget the hot sauce I swear I'm going to I'm going to steal the Taco Bell sh look they're not going to forget the hot sauce all right good all right Jeffy just sit right here and eat your Taco Bell because I think mommy's almost done setting up your party downstairs all right daddy everything's set up Marvin everything's set up yep so you got a cake with candles and confetti yeah you got to be [ __ ] me Jeffy language what's wrong Jeffy those effers forgot my hot sauce Jeffy stop saying effers no they forgot my hot sauce Daddy they didn't forget the hot sauce I told them like 15 times Well it's not in there well can you just eat it without hot sauce no I wanted hot sauce for my bean taco so you know what that means they're going to get their Taco Bell sign stolen we're not stealing a Taco Bell sign Jeffy yes we are no we're not Jeffy look just eat your taco and look there's a cake downstairs let's go blow out the candles no I got to go steal their Taco Bell sign no Jeffy let's go blow out the candles on your cake and celebrate your birthday come on and then we get to go steal your Taco Bell shine surprise it's not a surprise cuz you already told me about it Jeffy look she got you a cake and plates who empti a paper shreder all over the table it's confetti Jeffy it's fun we so fun look Jeffy we're going to sing you happy birthday then you're going to block your candles and then we'll get you whatever you want okay happy birthday to you birthday Jeffy we weren't done singing all right the first thing I want for my birthday is everyone who's watching this video to go ahead and hit hit the like button and hit the Subscribe button I'll wait did you do it all right great thanks for my birthday present and everyone who didn't do it has no friends Jeffy what do you really want for your birthday well what I really want for my birthday is the Taco Bell sign Jeffy we can't get you the Taco Bell sign well they ruined my birthday so I'm going to ruin their business by stealing their sign baby we have to go get them the Taco Bell sign Marvin you can't steal the Taco Bell sign it's illegal Jeffy we can't get you the Taco Bell sign wor birthday ever I'm going to keep screaming until I get the Taco Bell on we'll get you the Taco Bell on Marvin you better not come on Jeffy let's go get the stupid sign all right Jeffy what part of the sign do you want I want the big Bell and the one that says Taco all right I'm going to get a ladder and let's go up there and get it all right all right Jeffy there's your Taco Bell sign best Danny Amber Marvin you didn't well it's the only thing he wanted for his birthday now I'll tease him for forgetting my hot Jos how did you even do that it's called a drill mommy and a ladder why well we forgot jeffy's birthday and I felt bad so I thought you know if we got the Taco Bell sign to be happy and isn't it worth it to see that smile on his face what are you going to do when they notice they're not going to notice everybody knows where Taco Bell is they don't need a sign oh you're going to go to jail I'm not going to go to jail like Taco Bell has like a billion dollars they can just buy another sign that's not the point Marvin it's wrong well wrong SCH Marvin look the news breaking news someone has stolen the sign off of a Taco Bell and no one can tell what restaurant it is the police are holding a live press conference now let's go to that thanks Goodman as you can see from this picture here this is a Taco Bell I I think see I don't know cuz there's no sign out front cuz somebody stole it you know so so restaurants have signs in front of them so that you know where you're going but now nobody knows what's going on customers keep coming into the Taco Bell and they're ordering bacon at thinking it's Wendy's or something and the workers don't know what's going on either they're in there trying to make Big Macs with burrito supplies it's chaos so listen up whoever stole that sign we're coming for you oh no Marvin I don't want any part of this illegal activity I'm leaving for a couple of days but baby no come back Jeffy what are you doing oh I'm just polishing my brand new Taco Bell sign I love it so much well you better love it cuz now the cops are looking for us no Daddy help me Jeffy are you okay no dad I'm stuck I think my legs are broken it's the worst birthday ever please get the Shine off me okay I'll get it Jeffy are you sure your legs are broken yeah they they hurt don't touch them okay I need you to call a doctor I can't call a doctor Jeffy because they're looking for the people who stole the Taco Bell sign and if I call a doctor they're going to see that we're the people who stole the Taco Bell sign and what are we going to do I don't know 35 316 317 318 319 320 wait a minute it's today jeffy's 18th birthday is today I'm rich I just got to get out of this stupid prison first all right time for me to use my sexy charm to escape hey there big boy but shut up inmate I'm trying to figure out who stole this Taco Bell sign my back is killing me oh well I could give you a b back massage if you let me out of this cell no no no no no what if you escape oh come on I wouldn't do that I love it here I got my own bed and my own toilet it's Paradise oh I do really want to back massage okay fine I'll let you out for 5 minutes to massage my back but then you're going right back in your cell okay all right now I let you out I really need you to get between my shoulder blades cuz that's where all my stress is okay uh I knocked them out I'm free oh D stay still Jeffy all right Jeffy I wrapped your legs in paper towels it kind of looks like a cast but they still hurt daddy well if you sit really still and keep your leg straight eventually they'll heal straight CU that's how that works I don't know Jeffy I'm not a doctor well didn't call one we can't call it doctor Jeffy because of your stupid birthday gift it's illegal a oh no who's that what if it's the cops d look I'll handle it you just stay right here and don't make any noise okay all right if it's the cops I'm going to say say what Taco Bell sign yeah that'll work hello surprise ow my legs hurt so man oh Jeffy it's mommy what are you doing here well today's your 18th birthday and Mommy's going to get paid today's not my 18th birthday it's my 17th birthday nice try Jeffy but I've been counting the days in prison now come here huh to find my fugitive app says she's in here somewhere oh my God Marvin what happened to you jeffy's Mom she hit me in the face with a mallet oh my God so she isn't here help me Jeffy come on let's go upstairs wait upstairs yeah that's where your son is uh oh he's going to see the Taco Bell side uh no let's let's not go upstairs they can come down here can y'all guys come down here what are you talking about let's go can I help you uh just don't look this way okay whatever don't come any closer I'm going to Bon Nancy why' you escape from prison what it's prison it sucks what do you mean oh yeah I guess that makes sense but why today well today's jeffy's 18th birthday and I'm going to inherit all his money well actually he's going to inherit his father's money and then I'm going to take his money but I'm still getting the money well no no today's not jeffy's 18th birthday it's his 17th birthday no no no no no I've been counting well no actually today is his 17th birthday and I know cuz it's also my birthday oh damn it yeah everybody Sing Happy Birthday to me happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday de Brooklyn happy birthday to you thank you that was very nice what willly okay Nancy seriously it actually is his 17th birthday oh well I guess I messed up must have counted wrong it's okay I'll just break out next year yeah you go ahead and try that what are you doing over there wait wait wait a minute is that the Taco Bell sign God damn it okay who stole this uh it was Nancy no no it's not me yeah yeah it was you when you came over you you brought the sign with you no no it couldn't have been her she was in jail when it got stolen oh you're right okay I'm going to take her back to jail then I'm coming back over here come on oh no Jeffy what do we do oh no Daddy get in there congratulations you just added 5 years to your sentence no no no where did I go wrong 17 okay so jeffy's 18th birthday is next year and next year I'm going to get you Jeffy all right she's in jail now who's next to go to jail who stole this sign all right Officer look it's my son's birthday and all he wanted for his birthday was a Taco Bell sign so I stole it for him for his birthday really you you you'd commit a felony for your son's birthday that's actually really sweet I wish somebody would commit a felony for my birthday oh cheer up I bet someone will commit a felony for your birthday one day really do you think so hold on I got an idea hey Jeffy there's two parts to your Taco Bell sign do you think we can give one to the police officer he had a being T earlier oh oh god oh oh oh jesz okay it smells like ass in here I'm just going to you keep the sign happy birthday all right Simmons I'm going to show you where we keep the baddest of the bad inmates solitary confinement there's no food there's no electricity there's no hope well what do they eat if they don't have food sir they eat cockroaches and rats and whatever else they can find on the ground okay so this is our first inmate bubbles what's up beautiful back away from the bars oh wait you afraid to get kissed huh don't kiss them Simmons I didn't plan on it so one kiss from him and you'll fall in love Yeah Welcome to My Love chamber come on in come on Simmons let's go what wait come on kiss me kiss me on come on all right follow me this way oh no hurry up hurry up all right Simmons this next inmate is the worst of the worst her name is Nancy can I see what she looks like oh of course you can she's a caged animal hey Nancy get out here you old bag Nancy she's coming Nancy n Nancy don't make me come in there and pull you out you you're making me look bad Nancy you old CP just one second Simmons Nancy you're pissing me off look you come and grab you Nancy Nancy you better be dead in here cuz you didn't answer me oh my god oh no she escaped Simmons Simmons sound the alarms Nancy Escape we got a cold red lock down the prison go go [Music] go today's going to be a good day [Music] mhm [Music] mhm let's see what we got [Music] here she's [Music] perfect let's go get some [Music] kids [Music] now where are those kids at H maybe some musical help oh kids where are you kids I got some free candy for you kids I did it I finally escaped and on jeffy's 18th birthday now all I got to do is kidnap him and get my millions of dollar now where the hell am I oh God I'm so glad to finally be out of that prison oh oh [ __ ] it's the cops wait a minute that's not the cops maybe maybe he'll give me a ride woohoo oh [Music] youo youo big boy can you give me a ride I don't think he stoping stop hey there baby you really shouldn't stand in the road I almost hit you can you give me a ride big boy no I only take kids oh really well there's a kid I need you to help me take sorry I work alone I'll give you $50,000 huh that'll buy me a lot of candy get [Music] in chief chief chief don't worry guy I didn't forget today's your your birthday Chief you remembered my birthday happy birthday guy M don't knows your birthday right yes Simmons today's my birthday at least somebody remembered well happy birthday it's too late now so what were you going to tell me guy huh I don't even remember I'm just so happy now the prisoner es good oh yeah the prisoner escaped Chief The Prisoner Nancy escaped from solitary confinement we locked down the entire prison but she still somehow got away damn it guy how could you allow this to happen sir I don't know what happened she dug her way through concrete I don't know how it was like some sha Shank Redemption [ __ ] damn it God you better bring her back dead or alive or you're fired sir you can't fire me today's my birthday then I'll wait till tomorrow and then fire your ass well you can't fire me cuz I quit I'm just kidding you know I need this job come on Sons let's go find it all right Marvin is this good enough I think we need a few more balloons a few more balloons I bought all the balloons from the store I just want to make sure that jeffy's 18th birthday is special Marvin this looks amazing you did this just for jeffy's birthday you know me I love Jeffy and I want to make sure 18th birthday is the most special birthday he's ever had that's so sweet Marvin jeffy's going to be so excited hey shf peipi can you go to the store and get 50 more balloons 50 more balloons I'll get you stupid balloons now leave me alone I just want to make sure that Jeffy gives me money I mean I want to make sure that Jeffy knows I love him Marvin you're not doing this just because jeffy's inheriting millions of dollars from his dead father are you jeffy's inheriting millions of dollars from his dead father it completely slipped my mind oh really I'm being serious baby you know I love Jeffy I mean it's his 18th birthday Marvin come on just let him enjoy his special day baby it is our special day because he's turning 18 and he can move out of the house Marvin we're not kicking him out of the house on his birthday it depends on how much money he gives us Marvin oh listen let me go wake up Jeffy cuz it's his birthday and let me get his king crown king crown nice snoring Russian Jeffy wake up it's your birthday really Daddy yeah Jeffy you're 18 years old yeah that too so how about you take off that bunny suit and come downstairs well what if I I don't want to take off my bunny suit then leave it on you can keep it on all day really daddy you never let me leave my bunny suit on all day well it's your birthday so you can do whatever you want and look for breakfast I got you candy bars candy for breakfast daddy you're being really nice to me today well you know I love you Jeffy I wouldn't be doing it for any other reason and look since it's your birthday is there anything else you want strippers wait you want one yeah with big yummy cans well I'll call one up for your birthday party which is downstairs W I got a birthday party you I have chocolate okay of course there's chocolate cake buddy so how about you go downstairs wait wait wait a second you're now King of the house I totally forgot you're King of the House King of the house so here is your birthday crown you can tell people what to do oh well then I banish you to the dungeon well don't banish me yet until you see how cool your birthday party is okay let's go see it come on all right I'm going to take off my bunny shoe and put my birthday shoe on well don't get naked how about you just take the bunny suit off come on here it is here's jeffy's cake all right Jeffy here's your your birthday party daddy look at all your balloons wait shf baby where's the 50 extra balloons they were sold out I just got a cake go get more balloons go find some drive 100 miles to go get some I find the balloons go get some it's Jeffy D's birthday party I wanted to be special D this is a coolest birthday ever it's a birthday Fit For A King yes Jeffy and look at all your presents full of expensive items and maybe one day you'll repay us like today Marvin which one has the stripper in it she's on the way what that's what Jeffy wanted for his birthday party Marvin hey Daddy since I'm 18 now can I throw this glass cup against the wall and shatter it I mean I'd rather you didn't but if that's what you want to do on your a birthday party then go for it buddy but please don't H I've suddenly grown out of childish behavior wait really no you know that doesn't even make me mad because it's your birthday party so just go go crazy Jeffy there's someone at the door stripper no not yet I'm about I'm it's your friend oh my friend Jeffy your friend are here happy birthday Jeffy yeah happy birthday happy birthday dude this party is so crazy thanks guys look I'm a king oh wow that Crown is so cool and you're 18 years old that means strippers yeah you can also vote now what well he can you can also buy an assault rifle gun laws are so crazy I'm going to hide when you turn 18 see that house right there yep that's where the kid lives what does he look like he's got a blue helmet and a yellow shirt that says Jeffy on it you can't miss him it's his birthday so he's probably got a party going on all right what I'll do is I'll just go up to the house and pretend I'm there for the birthday party and when I see him I'll grab him and bring him back to the van good dings so Jeffy what are you going to do for your 18th birthday I might eat cake I might stick my wiener in an amp pile depos abilities are English I'm really digging your LGBT birthday napkins super homo yeah super dude thanks for giving us a shot no problem Cody Jeffy there's someone at the door stripper maybe hello hey I'm here to see the birthday boy we didn't hire a clown well someone did who listen man I don't ask questions I just do what I'm told I'm here to eat cake make snake balloons and snort blow I mean a clown would make jeffy's birthday party really cool it sure would so come on inside planned on it Jeff Jey there was a special guest at the door was it the stripper no it was a clown now wait a minute I can strip too stop that we don't need that oh yes we do keep going stop that what just focus on making animal balloons oh darn I love my balloons out in my van which one of you kids wants to come out in my van with me and get the balloons o I will no I really think the birthday boy should come with me no the birthday boy needs to stay here and open his gifts no I really think the birthday boy should come out to the van with me no get one of the other kids to do it listen Bub I'm taking this kid with me whether you like it or not no you're not going to talk about that I didn't even hire a clown so you need to leave just get out of here come on oh rats go on get out of here hey he Hey listen listen listen listen what I'm sorry get out of here oh damn it I got to get that kid what what happened where's Jeffy he didn't want to come to the van his dad said no what why would you tell them about the goddamn van nobody's willingly going to get into a van that's his free candy on it God damn it listen he's yelling at me you're yelling at me it's hurting my feelings well what are we going to do now how are we going to get Jeffy no hold on I'm thinking of something but think faster oh you know what I got it hold on I'll be back with the kid Jeffy are you ready to hit your pinata I have a pinata yeah it's waiting for you outside Jeffy oh I'm about to whack that [ __ ] a pinata that's so crazy all right kids everyone outside to hit the Pata yay all right Jeffy hit your pinata and make all the candy come out shouldn't he be blindfolded no it's jeffy's 18th birthday and we want to make sure he gets all the candy so hit it Jeffy stand back everyone yeah because I'm about to go AP [ __ ] on this horsey take this horsey where you go Mr lollipop get back here you crazy lollipop come here all right here's the kid this van is so crazy this lollipop hurts to eat what who the hell is this where's Jeffy I thought this was the kid no I said blue helmet yellow shirt Oh I thought you said blue shirt no helmet what are you knucking FS this is the wrong kid it is yes now we got to kill him so he doesn't tell on us why would I tell on you this van is cool okay listen kid you get out of this van and you run and you don't stop running okay I love running what do we do now okay since you can't do it right I have an idea now pull the van around in front of their house all right all right kids did everyone get some candy yeah all right Jeffy the next thing we're going to do is we're going to put candles on your cake and sing you happy birthday can you sing me Happy Birthday 18 times since it's my 18th birthday yeah Marvin you did say anything for jeffy's birthday uh I mean 18's a lot of times you sure you want 18 yes okay yeah yeah we'll sing it 18 times and can everyone dress up like me but why would we dress up like you Jeffy because it's my birthday and it would be fun if everyone dressed up like me all right everyone go put on a yellow shirt and a blue helmet to look like Jeffy I guess come on baby let's go dress up like Jeffy this is the coolest birthday ever everyone loves me can't believe I'm doing this I look ridiculous baby hurry up a Marvin it's just too big on me baby it looks like a dress look we have to dress up like Jeffy to make him happy on his birthday you really want that money huh but baby I already told you this isn't about the money I would do this for anyone on their birthday you would do it for me on my birthday well I mean listen baby it's not about the money breaking news world renown painter jacqu Pierre Francois the famous painter we all presumed was dead turns out he's actually still alive he faked his death to make his paintings more valuable I have an exclusive interview with him now all right everyone I'm here with the now alive world renown painter jacqu Pierre Francois so tell us jacqu why would you fake your own death well you see paintings are worth more when the artist is dead and I was drowning and gambling Deads so I fak my own death and now my paintings are worth millions extraordinary but how did you fake your death you jumped off the bridge and we saw the splattered remains on the canvas well that was quite simple all I had to do is push a pig off the bridge and when it splatters on the canvas the body was unrecognizable and I bought that painting for $200 million and now that you're not dead that painting's not work [ __ ] that is as you American say too bad so sad I'm going to slap that stupid little pipe cleaner mustache clean off your stupid face don't hate me cuz you Ain me well what about your son he was supposed to inherit your multi-million dollar Fortune h yes the boy listen son if you are watching this look into the camera look at your papa [ __ ] off well you heard it here first folks I'm out $200 million I will now celebrate my Millions by eating one of your American amb girls from the mcdonal king oh wow Marvin good thing it wasn't about the money otherwise you'd be really upset right now huh he's not getting any of the money I'm taking the Jeff off off the G away PO on the B and you said it wasn't about the money of course it was about the money you think I would take care of him for years for free Marvin we love Jeffy I don't you might but I don't I definitely don't he's CAU so much hell in my life he's broke Stu I want him gone Jeffy would be really upset right now if he heard the awful things you were saying I'm very upset for the things I heard on the news I thought we were going to get money baby I thought we were going to get be paid that wasn't even your money that was jeffy's money I thought he was going to give us some I thought he was going be like hey hey Marvin sorry for screwing your life over for the last few years here here a quick Millie it's quick Millie cash you honestly think Jeffy was going to shave yes I thought he gave a [ __ ] I am so mad I'm going to go throw his cake away I'm taking that damn king crown off his head I'm only sing him happy birthday once Marvin you're going to sing Happy Birthday to him 18 times on his birthday let's go no the only 18 thing that's happening is how old he's turning cuz he's out of the house no Marvin you don't mean that we're kicking him out of the house you think I'm going to deal with him for free he's not going to live with us till he's 30 or 40 I'll kill myself listen I am going to go tell Jeffy that he is gone when he leaves his house we we can see him happy birthday once but I'm taking that Crown we're gone stop right here stop right here all right what's the plan okay we're going to roll the windows down and then you're going to play some silly music so the kids think you're an ice cream truck and then when the kids come out to get that free candy you're going to grab Jeffy and I'm going to jump in the driver's seat and speed off that's a good idea I wish I would have thought about that all right roll your window down free candy [Music] kids okay Jeffy we're dressed up just like you yeah even can oh that's sick it's like I'm grw and you guys are my minions we got to get the girl another unicorn toy you guys hear that it sounds like an ice cream truck ooh ice cream I want ice cream mother F an ice cream truck this birthday is the tips let's go guys I can't believe it a free candy fan what a dream come true I hope they have Starburst oh they better have Snickers dude I want mm guys doesn't this seem a little suspicious how well it's a white van with freak C spray painted on it that's like typical kidnapper stuff Cody nobody kidnaps people anymore that's illegal yeah it's cameras everywhere dude yeah nobody was going to go to jail for kidnapping okay okay yeah I guess you guys are right this isn't sketchy at all Cody let's just go get our free candy and shut up oh here they come all the kids are coming good then you tell the kids they have to go to the back to get the candy and then you grab Jeffy and I'll speed off all right got it all right Jeffy let's hurry up and sing Happy Birthday and then you're getting the hell out of the house Jeffy where's Jeffy where's all the kids at uh Marvin I couldn't find any more balloons at the store don't yell at me I don't care we don't need any more balloons wait seriously you wanted balloons earlier I don't care about this party I don't care about these balloons we don't need anything thank God do you know where the kids are at Chef peipi I think they're outside at the ice cream truck getting ice cream ice cream truck yeah you don't hear it we want candy yeah do you have Skittles oh do you have three musketeers yeah yeah yeah I have all the Musketeers and mol so just if you want candy meet me at the back of the van okay wait wait wait guys this is getting worse how he wants us to meet him at the back of the van yeah that's where he's all this candy you see how big this van is oh dude just shut up okay but if somebody gets kidnapped don't come crying to me about it come on candy candy candy candy who wants candy we do oh please look for the sneakers first all right let me see if I got it NOP no Snickers oh man what other candy would you kids want uh do you have Starburst wh what the hey hey what are you doing here go away Jeffy nope no Starburst a huh do you have circus peanuts let me check hurry up and grab them damn it all right they all look the same though what are you kids doing Jeffy all you kids go inside right [Music] now there all the candles are lit I can't believe we didn't get any ice cream or candy I don't even think they had candy Jeffy are you ready to blow out your birthday candles yeah are you guys going to sing Happy Birthday to me 18 times of course Jeffy but wait where's Marvin oh he was outside and he yelled at us to come inside and said we couldn't have any candy oh yeah he's in a bad mood Jeffy but he's been in a good mood all day I know but I think he has a headache or something are you ready to sing Happy Birthday to Jeffy yeah all right ready happy birthday to youth happy birthday to to you happy birthday dear Jeffy happy birthday to you again again happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Jeffy Happ birthday to you one more time from the happy [Music] birthday all right Jeffy blow out the candles yay so Jeffy did you like your birthday today well you guys had me in the first half not going to lie but the second half blew major donkey balls what was wrong with the second half well for starters all the presents downstairs were just empty boxes wrapped with wrapping paper and daddy ran away well you know Jeffy I think your dad's going through a midlife crisis today today of all days maybe he's at the store getting you real presents since you're your gift bags were empty we can only hope well do you want to watch some TV Jeffy ooh well since I'm 18 now can we watch Naughty shows I'm talking full frontal no Jeffy let's watch the news breaking news a prisoner in a Maximum Security Prison has escaped please be on the lookout for this woman pictured here her name is Nancy real mommy escaped from prison uh Jeffy let's watch something else nudity no Jeffy mommy what if real mommy comes and tries to kidnap me we wouldn't let that happen you promise I promise okay good um Now where's Marvin I'm going to give him a call nipple time Jeffy Chang the channel mommy look at these rocking cans Jeffy change the channel now Jeffy stop it oh he didn't answer well he's missing a good show Jeffy I'm changing the channel no [Music] okay let me see Jeffy he's right here he is Mommy wait a minute what are you guys doing let me go this isn't Jeffy sure it is see the blue helmet and the yellow shirt no no no this isn't Jeffy this is somebody else with a blue helmet and yellow shirt listen this is too hard can we try something easier wait wait you're jeffy's mom wait a minute you're the bozo who put me in jail well no no you put yourself in jail but I had nothing to do with it okay look I don't want you I wanted Jeffy so I can take his millions of dollars that I rightly deserve well good luck getting that money because his dad's not dead he's actually alive and he's not giving Jeffy any of the money nice try you really expect me to believe that wait it's on the news you just turn it on yeah right you'll say anything to get me to let you go now I have a better idea for you I'm going to hold you hostage until Jeffy gives me that money he doesn't have the money well if he doesn't give me the money you're dead hey can I use your phone sure I got to call his family all right what's jeffy's number jeffy's number why do you need his number because I'm going to call Jeffy and you're going to tell him you're kidnapped and that you're going to die if he doesn't give me that money he's not going to believe me well we're going to try anyway oh okay his number is I'm changing the channel Jeffy no you're not I've waited 18 years to watch shows like this you're not going to take this from me you can wait a little longer wait wait wait my phone's ringing maybe it's Marvin no it's not my phone yeah it's my phone yellow you have reached the plug please shibby shibby go on talk oh Jeffy it's it's me sh shiby what say shiby uh shiby wa what was that was it some kind of code no he told me to do that before I talked just say what I told you damn it hey Jeffy it's me Marvin uh I was kidnapped sorry wrong number what who was that Jeffy it was some salesman trying to sell me a car's extended warranty but you don't have a car exactly why I hung up on him a you're so smart Jeffy I know what'd he say uh he thought it was a wrong number God damn it make him believe you or I'll shoot you in the head oh call my wife call my wife okay Jeffy hold on my phone's ringing it's a block number hello talk in no funny business uh hey baby Marvin where are you why are you calling from a block number oh it's a long story so I got oh my God are you calling from a side chick's phone what side chick would I have listen baby look I'm kidnapped and they want millions of dollars so can you bring Marvin is this your sick way of trying to make money because jeffy's dad really isn't dead wait he's not baby I'm not trying to make money I can't believe you abandoned Jeffy on his birthday you're a dead beat dad no I'm kidnapped I didn't I gu just come home whenever you feel like H up okay what' she say uh she thinks I'm a dead beat dad and I left Jeffy on his birthday oh God damn it that's it I'm killing him get my gun oh no no no don't get the gun okay how about one of you call him because you guys have scary voices so who has the scarier voice she does okay mommy is my real dad really alive yes he is Jeffy well I want to meet him no I don't think you do just don't watch the news no I want to meet him cuz I bet real daddy wouldn't leave me at my own birthday party I don't know about that Jeffy wait my phone's ringing I bet it's Marvin what do you want Marvin if you ever want to see Marvin again you'll give me $5 million wait this isn't Marvin no it's not and if you ever want to see Marvin again give me $5 million what's going on okay I kidnapped Marvin and if you want to see him again you will give me $5 million but I don't have $5 million well then I guess you're not going to see Marvin again what should I kill him now no don't do that um I'll just call you back in 5 minutes what okay wait but uh you called from a block number so I don't have your number oh yeah hold on what what is your number mine no the guy who's tied up what's his number no I was being sarcastic yes your number well then you should have said something you should have said hey screw ball what's your phone number hey screw ball what what is your phone number 555 555 55 56 it's it's all fives with the six at the end you can't screw it up okay I I'll call back and in 5 minutes okay Jeffy your dad's been kidnapped which one Marvin oh well good heered it he left me in my own birthday party oh I'm going to call the cops what' they say they're going to call me back but if they don't call me back in 5 minutes I'm killing you oh they're going to call back hey there somebody called the cops and I brought backup cuz in case you haven't heard there's a goon on the loose and she's a real Rascal that goon so have you seen any goons what about you kid you look like you've seen a goona too that goon kidnapped my husband it's the woman that escaped from prison that was on the news I'm sorry what the woman on the news that escaped from prison see I just distinctly didn't hear you say happy birthday to the birthday boy oh is it your birthday today no budy loves me I'm so sorry it's just it's my son's birthday today so oh yeah God I hate people have the same birthday as me I wish they'd all die can we focus here please this woman kidnapped my husband she's asking for $5 million or she's going to kill him wait you are contacted by the woman who escaped from prison you hear that Simmons we have a lead we have a lead we have a lead so where where is she I don't know she called from a blocked phone number a blocked phone number we lost the lead we lost the lead we lost the lead but she did give me her phone number she gave you a phone number she gave you her phone number she gave you her phone number okay great so we can just call her so we can just call her so we simm Simmons stop stop singing it's starting to piss me off okay so we can just call her and hear her demands yes but I already told you her demand she wants $5 million or she's going to kill Marvin listen you've never met a negotiator like me I can get that price way down you should have seen me get my Hyundai Sonata I got them to Take 5 grand off the sticker oh man it was great hey you you want to ride in my Hyundai Sonata no please can we just focus and call this come on you got to take a ride in my Sonata come on there she is that's my baby it's very nice now can wee it is very nice I insist you take a ride in her no that's not necessary can we please go call very necessary when you feel the seats are going to be in heaven I'll take your word for it please let's go you don't have to take my word for it come on let's take a ride oh man I love being in this car it's way more comfy than the cop car which I have to go get in soon yes this car is very impressive now can we please go this car has so many features like check this out you're going to love this you know what that is that's a blind spot camera so if some little brat tries running up on me while I'm turning I can see them it's very convenient can we go back inside I got all of these features for a steal at the Hyundai Sunday Sales Event I'm so happy for you can we please go call chies I think we should take a quick little ride around the neighborhood no come on come on love it oh man how lucky are you you got to ride my Sonata not a lot of people get to do that not even my daughter you know cuz she eats crackers and the crumbs get between the seats oh big mess can we please huge mess can we please and then you got to get in there with a vacuum and that takes forever and it's l can wee and then you got to pay the vacuum with quds and that just sucks can we please call the woman now oh yeah we can call it just hold on it's ringing hello hey there ma'am I just wanted to let you know that this is the police and you're going to jail [ __ ] say hi Simmon hi Simmons No Simmons you're supposed to just call her a [ __ ] [ __ ] you hear that that's my buddy Simmons and he's going to kick your ass I sure am yeah he'll hit a woman he doesn't care I don't care he doesn't care Oh no you're not cuz I got a hostage oh man I hate when they have hostages what do you want I want $5 million you're going to meet me in the field you know the one oh yeah of course I know the field it's the field it's the one field you're going to meet me in the field in an hour with $5 million and Jeffy cuz I want to say hi to him okay okay but but hear me out how about $3 million no it's $5 million or I kill this guy right now oh damn you're not playing so I don't get the Hyundai Sunday Sales Event price no okay Simmons when we get there we're going to shoot her in the face and no weapons oh come on that's not fair so do we have a deal okay stupid I didn't get anything out of that phone call I'm sorry mate what did she say she wants us to meet her in the field in an hour with $5 million and Jeffy but we don't have $5 million yeah I know so when she gets there you and I are just going to tackle her I mean it's two against one and she's had no weapons so I think we can take her yeah come on Jeffy let's go see her so what's happening we're going to meet the cops and Jeffy in an hour to trade you for the money yes screw ball why would we meet with the cops wouldn't they just shoot us no because I told them no weapons oh that's smart but guess who's going to bring me a gun who me well that's not fair shouldn't you tell him so it's fair no I don't care if it's fair come on come on we're going [Music] okay okay Simmons I'm assuming they're in the van that says free candy on it oh mate you think we can get some free candy I don't think they have any free candy Simmons well why would they put it on the van if it's not true I'm going to take a wild gas and say it's so they can kidnap people but that's illegal I know and that's why we're going to arrest them so what we're going to do is we're going to get out of the van and we're going to play good cop we're going to be like hey we got your money and then bam we whoop our ass and then we save Marvin we get the key to the city and the chief is going to give us promotions sounds good mate all right Jeffy you stay here all right [ __ ] where he ow God damn it no Simmons I'm not all right I close the door in my hand you need to go to the hospital no we're doing this hold on okay look we brought your money and we didn't bring any weapons well I did bring a weapon so show me the money or I'm going to blow his head off that's not fair that's not Fair that's not fair we said No weapons we were going to beat your ass H you really thought I was stupid enough not to bring a gun Now show me the money or I'm going to shoot him and all he use well you see it's actually kind of a funny story cuz we didn't bring the money cuz me and Simmons thought we could beat you up all right that's it I'm killing him oh no no no no no no wait wait wait don't don't shoot him we have Jeffy in the back of the car you wanted him right okay hand over Jeffy uh Jeffy could you come out of the car hey Mommy Jeffy run hey Jeffy mommy missed you now come to Mommy go hey at least we saved Marvin right go on Jeffy a well you're not going to let her take Jeffy are you we don't have any weapons bro I don't know what you want us to do hey Jeffy happy birthday okay since you didn't bring my money I'm taking Jeffy with me and whenever you want to stop playing games maybe we can make another deal come on oh Danny help me she took him she really just took him I mean hey at least you don't have to deal with him anymore well I know but like I don't want anything bad to happen to him why what do you care you always complaining about him anyway well I know I just I still care about him yeah I mean look on the bright side at least it's a nice day for it you know it's not too hot not too cold you know if my kid were to get kidnapped I'd want it to be in weather like this true what you guys got to do something go out chase the B we can't do anything man we don't have any weapons and she has a handgun she could shoot all of us wait mate don't we have a sniper rifle in the trunk of the car oh yeah we do have a sniper rifle in the trunk of the car okay Simmons I want you to camp out somewhere get up in one of these trees and shoot out her tires on it okay Marvin me and you are going to chase that van down come on let's go someone's going to die today all right Marvin you're about to see how I drove on my dri's test when I was 16 poorly there she is there she is catch up with her I'm trying [Music] man SC hurry up he's gaining on us why are you trying to hurt M me I hate you man she is driving like crazy I guess I can add reckless driving to the list of charges you know I can make corny cop puns because we're in a police chain we're just focus on the road okay hey Jeffy I'm sick of you I never loved you you were an accident after I get my money I'm going to kill you and bury you in the deepest hole I can find and then I'm going to kill your other F Daddy help me rammer you should rammer okay I'm going to do a pit maneuver yeah go wait wait wait what's going on what's going on what's going on oh [ __ ] what I ran out of gas ran out of gas we she getting away can we get more gas H I don't see any gas stations in this [ __ ] field do you well no but she's getting away it's up to Simmons now Simmons I need you to shoot those tires out right now I'm on it mate hold still you bastard uh Simmons you are only supposed to shoot the tires whoops jeffy's Dead uh uh dispatch we we need we need an amb ambulance and fire trucks just just just all of it get out here now Marvin oh my God Marvin thank God you're okay and no one was hurt ooh uh Simmons I think we should probably leave why this is about to be really sad Marvin where's Jeffy uh he's uh he's not coming back baby what do you mean he isn't coming back where is he his uh his his mom took him no she didn't mphin we had to go back there we have to go get him get the cop no he he's dead baby he's dead what are you talking about Marvin listen the mom took him in the van and the van exploded and and Jeffy died in the explosion exploded no no Marvin Jeffy can't be gone no he just can't he can't go go get Jeffy he's dead baby he's dead he's not coming he's not coming back Marvin no it can't be real this is this isn't happening it's his birthday today Marin no I know I know he died baby I know I should have been nicer to him I just can't believe this is happening I know I know that's our baby boy I know we should have I should have been nicer to him I shouldn't have I shouldn't have been mean to him on his birthday I'm sorry if I had a chance I'd say sorry I wish he was here right now no Jeffy oh man Simmons I feel bad but you must feel way worse cuz you [ __ ] suck at shooting this was entirely your fault it was a moving Target mate gas cap Tire big difference Simmons but they're both round okay s let's just go I just wish Jeffy was back I know baby I miss Jeffy too I wish I could just hear him do that annoying sound One More Time Marvin that was a really good impression what that wasn't me I thought it was you what don't be Shad Daddy it's not like you had to walk 50 m in the dark getting eaten by mosquitoes on your birthday what Jeffy you're alive oh my God yeah I jumped down the back at the van before it exploded what yeah this is what happened uh hey we're almost out of gas then find the gas station Jeffy Jeffy no Jeffy Jeffy die [ __ ] so that's what happened thank God you're home Jeffy yeah we love you so much Jeffy well it's not like every day you kill your mom on your birthday well Jeffy listen I know you're 18 but you don't have to move out of the house you can stay here as long as you want because I can't imagine life without you because I've gotten so used to you I know I know I was mad at you today on your birthday but that was just because I thought we were getting money but I don't care about the money I I just about you Jeffy I love you so much a love you too Mommy and Daddy but I didn't plan on going anywhere who's at the door hold on hello hey what are you doing here I just wanted to say I'm sorry I thought you died you were driving the van no I heard a gunshot and I got scared and jumped out uh hey we're almost out of gas then find the gas station Jeffy je no Jeffy Jeffy gunshots I'm out of here so do you accept my apology get out of here I don't want to see every again I'll call the cops right now who was at the door Marvin it was one of the kidnappers what I already called the cops hey there you call me oh hey you're not dead how the hell did that happen listen listen one of the kidnappers at the door he survived oh hey that means nobody died today well actually I shot my mom in the face before the van exploded oh okay well with the explosion there's no trace of the body so that means no paperwork for me and that's the best birthday present I could ask for this video is about me it should have been called Brooklyn guys 45th birthday no balls name it that so guys what do you want to do today I'm getting kind of hungry me too dude yeah I guess I'm hungry also me four so what do you want to eat you want to go to McDonald's and get some Happy Meals sounds like a plan Junior yeah let's do it dude what the news is on you guys the news is on Junior turn up the news I need to hear it okay damn breaking news Okay McDonald's is now offering adult Happy Meals happy meals for adults you you must be 18 years or older to purchase these Happy Meals if you are caught purchasing or eating these adult happy meals under the age of 18 the penalty can be up to a year in jail adult Happy Meal dude I wish I could have one yeah me too but guys we're not 18 yet they're adult happy meals for a reason we're just going to have to stick to Little Baby [ __ ] meals until we turn 18 well I'm 18 years old so I can have any adult Happy Meal lucky that's so crazy it's not fail you get to have one a we can't wait we're hanging out with an 18-year-old wait what if Jeffy goes and buys the don't have meals for us yeah I'll drive but guys that's illegal if we get caught we're going to go to jail God I hate you shut the hell up shut shut up damn it yeah God we're going to do something cool we eat adult Happy Meal just stop saying things and come on okay I'm so excited to get the adult Happy Meal me too Junior make sure mine's nuggets mine too dude all right check it we're all adults so can I get four adult Happy Meals all with chicken nuggets and Sprite and of course you know we want that hone honey mustard so cool or happy adult Happy Meal yes yeah the nuggets with honey mustard and spr absolutely what if they ID us we're not 18 shut up Cody hopefully they don't ID us I know you better hide in the back all right they're not going to ID you that's so cool I can't believe we got our adult Happy Meals they didn't even ID us I know Junior let's sing that we got adult Happy Meal song we just got all happy meals and we are going to eat them yes we are going to eat them we are going to eat them yes we are going to eat them and they're going to be delicious wait what's that noise oh my God you guys it's the cops we're getting pulled over run [ __ ] uh dispatch I'm trying to pull over a car with an expired tag but stand by it doesn't look like they're pulling over D me the cops pull over no Junior I can out run them no pull over yeah Jeffy keep going I'll bust a few shots at him to scare him away what you never Take Me Alive die [ __ ] Jesus Christ Dispatch they shooting at me I need backup I'm all out of ammo Jeffy pull over we're going to run for it all right Jo you I'm pulling over yeah pull over pull over pull over okay okay I think they're pulling over I don't know what they're doing I'm going to proceed with caution okay everyone run grab your Happy Meals I'm out of here [Music] dude guys my seat belt's stuck help where'd you put your seat belt on he was driving crazy I didn't want to go through the windshield Cody it's stuck and the cops right there I got to run I got to run no oh they get out of the car they're running I'm pursuing on foot dude dude the cop's getting Cody just leave him leave him leave him no he's going to snitch Cody would not do that dude he's the biggest snitch I know you're you're right we have to go get Cody yeah he can't take all three of us let's go aha caught by the seat Bel huh well you and your friends are in a lot of trouble but if you snitch I'll let you go time up guys time up time up time up get in there all right now let's go home and eat our adult Happy Meal yeah sit down right there and shut up while we eat our adult Happy Meal yeah punk what you guys kidnapped the cop yeah we don't want to arrest you but guys now our charges are going to be 10 times worse than they already were what were our Charges going to be before well before it was just going to be us getting these adult Happy Meals but now it's kidnapping eluding the police shooting at the police assault and battery and expired tags well look now we have to kill them cuz you stay admitted to everything in front of him oh dude where's the baseball bat well Joseph before we kill him let's eat our adult Happy Meal oo yeah what toy do we get ooh cool I got the Hamburglar I got old ducky high on quack oh I got a french fried guy oh wait they didn't give me a toy Junior how would an adult react I'm going to go home and beat my wife exactly okay you know what actually go back to being a kid they didn't give me a toy my don't happy me yeah that's actually better this dumb this thing is stupid and dumb yeah I don't really get why these can't be for kids and I also don't really get why he has four eyes and looks like he was drawn by a 5-year-old you don't have are dumb maybe the food food tastes different maybe maybe it tastes like for adults Well ma'am I don't know how to tell you this but your husband's been kidna and we don't even know if he's still alive oh my Po Boy there there ma'am if you ever need a rebound I'm available everyone back off She's Mine I've been waiting for this moment for years Karen if you ever need a pelvis to cry on mine's freshly saved I don't think I'm ready to move on just yet oh sure you are sure you are listen why don't we go back to my place and grab some drinks maybe some orange juice I don't think that sounds safe for me oh it's going to be super safe we just s a missionary okay everybody get the hell out of my office this chicken nugget doesn't taste any different than a normal Happy Meal yeah and these fries are no different than the free medium french fries I get from McDonald's every week which I guess I'll have next week cuz I have these right now I mean the toy pretty cool though dude look I'm a French Fred man his name is not French Fred man his name is Cactus buddy what he doesn't even look like a Cactus dude he looks like a french fry I have no idea what's going on the news breaking news Okay a police officer has been kidnapped if you've seen this police officer call 911 immediately the kidnappers are believed to be armed and extremely dangerous junior did you hear the news hear what they said on the news Jor you hear it you hear the news yes Cody I heard the news you did you heard the news yeah they're looking for the cop that we kidnapped guys we're going to go to jail for a million billion bajillion years no we're not Cody no one's ever going to out the cop is here how Junior we can't keep him here forever sure we can we can take care of him we can feed him adult Happy Meals we can feed him french fries and chicken nuggets oh we could just eat them like Jeffrey dmer did did someone say Jeffrey no he said Jeffrey oh close enough no no no one's eating anyone listen we can take care of them guys like taking care of a baby all we got to do is feed him and he'll be good okay wouldn't you like that little fella look at that he's not his head he's so happy guys I don't want to be a part of this I'm getting out of here before the cops come but I'm taking the Hamburglar with me well don't take the hamburger that's the the coolest one yeah all right let's take the duct tape off of them and see if we can reason with them okay dude you kids aren't going to get away with this I've seen your faces dude he's really pissing me off can I kill him now no we're not going to kill him we're going to work out a deal why are you so cranky Mr Officer do you want a chicken nugget or a french fry no I do not want a chicken nugget or a french fry you guys kidnapped me I want you to let me go we're not going to let you go cuz then you're going to arrest us yes I will well then there's no reason for us to let you go cuz you're going to arrest us uh okay well maybe I can talk to the judge and get you a lighter sentence that's not good enough yeah I need $50 million a private jbt and two tickets to see drinking concert what that's completely unreasonable I can't get those things well well just the two tickets to see drinking concert then how about you just drop our charges and we'll let you go but no I can't do any of that okay then we're not going to let you go until you drop the charges and you sign a contract saying you're not going to arrest us and it's notorized what nobody's going to notorized anything if they see me tied up well then I'll get a blind notary what would be the point of a blind notary well I don't know Jeffy do you know a notary yeah I knew a notary I'll go get him all right he's going to go get a notary you're going to notarize a document saying you're not going to arrest us yeah hey hey Junior I think I found your notary when I asked him if he was your notary he went what no you have to get out of here you're part of the bad company that tried to sue us well no he's actually owned by Microsoft he is yeah he's owned by Rare which is a subsidiary of Microsoft but his first game was on the 64 console yeah but then Microsoft bought the rights to him that's why the third game is so shitty on the Xbox 360 but he's in the new Smash fighting game well yeah but I'm pretty sure we're in the clear no I don't want to risk it you should just get out of here I I don't want to get sued so what are we going to do now wait what kind of toys did you guys get with these adult Happy Meals uh we got the cactus buddy we got the birdie and we got the Hamburglar you got the Hamburglar that's super rare I want one of those well Cody has it and he left okay okay I'll tell you what if you can get me the Hamburglar I'll pretend none of this ever happened and I'll drop all the charges oh but but but Cody has the hamburger at his house look if you can get him from your friend then we can have a deal oh okay guys we have to go to Cody's house to get the hamburger cuz he'll drop all the charges okay dude okay that was a good distraction now get me the hell out of here all right guys we're going to knock on the door Cody is going to give us the hamburger and they're going to drop all the charges all right let's do it hello oh Tyrone come look Christmas Carol is they early ooh Christmas caress wait wait sing the one with the red nose it's October sing it Rudolph the red nose reindeer no no no no no it's all wrong it's off key damn it now bring me some Jeffy py we're not Christmas carers we're here to see Cody oh he's in his bedroom with his new Dolly yeah we want to go see him oh no no when Cody gets a new Dolly he likes to uh it mhm yeah it's true well he said that we could come see it oh okay he's experimenting with something new come right in okay freaking oh Hamburglar What secrets do you have in your mind hey Cody what guys what are you doing here you didn't bring the cops here did you no but we need the Hamburglar back but no he's mine but the cops said if we give him the Hamburglar he'll drop all the charges well of course he said that this is the coolest toy well look we have to take it cuz we the charges drop but no I'm not letting you have him Joseph Jeffy tack him no no no no get off me all right Cody I'm going to go give the toy to the cop and when the Chargers are Dro we'll come back no no my Hamburglar bring me back my Hamburglar all right Simmons when they get back we're going to tackle them and arrest them well how many are there mate there's four I get two you get two well what if they're really strong they're not strong Simmons they're kids well they were strong enough to kidnap you and TI you up yeah well don't worry about it Simmons we got this okay they're coming hi all right I got the Hamburglar toy wait where' the officer go get him Simmons I'm under arrest I thought you could kidnap me huh where are your friends they're already left country well looks like you're getting all the charges then cuff them Simmons I don't have any handcuffs really you don't have any handcuffs no I don't want to go to jail yeah well maybe you should have thought about that before you got those Happy Meals and you fleed from me and you beat me up and you kidnapped me and you you did all that oh look I got you the Hamburg toy you said you'd leave me alone you think I care about this stupid little toy look we got to work out a deal I Won't Last a Day in jail please H work something out huh like like some kind of game okay I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10 if you can guess what that number is I'll let you go uh seven damn it um if you can guess that number again I'll let you go U seven damn it oh come on I didn't think you'd guess seven again I thought it was being tricky okay if you can guess that number a third time I will let you go uh four ha it was three you suck balls suck ball says what what you suck balls you're under arrest haha oh come on you said if I got you the hamburger toy you would drop all the charges and you actually believed me did you really say that mate what that if the kid got you the hamburgler toy you'd let him go well yeah but I needed to distraction well you can't just lie to the kid like that that makes you a liar is that really the example you want to set for children being a liar no but I mean you know if you're a liar Santa Claus won't come see you mate no but I got such a long list this year well then you need to do the right thing and tell the truth okay fine I guess you can go and I'm going to drop all the charges and blah blah blah blah and all the noise noise noise noise noise and the last can of who hatch okay so I'm free to go yeah I guess so but mate the captain wanted us to arrest someone hm well I guess we could arrest the Hamburglar we could just say he was trying to burgle my hamburgers well your mom was trying to burgle my hamburgers last night oh come on Simmons all right let's get out of here mate okay kid we're leaving but I'm going to leave you with this no be stop it knock it off all right CR I am so mad I am so angry cuz one of you stupid little kids pooped in the sink in the bathroom so when I went to wash my hands I got poop out over my hands so I want to know which one of you did it hey dinner it was me so no one's going to fess up to it huh H all right so that means the whole crash is going to get punished so you guys are going to have to write sentences write sentences he can write these nuts all right class since no one wants to admit to pooping in the sink all of you are going to have to write I will not poop in the sink 1,000 times okay so get started 1,000 times hey Junior look go Drew it's the teacher Jackie poop oh who pooping a s teacher Jeffy drew a picture of you shut up Jesus Christ CHR I can't enjoy my cat dog chicken and my for cookies without you interrupting me Jeffy let me see the picture let me see that now let's see what we have here oh hi a very funny Jeffy Jackie poo because my name's Jackie Chu and you just replaced the chu with poo because I got poo on my hand anyway Jeffy because you decided to be a comedian today you now have to write 10,000 sentences okay that is your homework what good luck writing all those sentences loser look at him run away like a little baby ding ding ding are those boxing gloves night night I so tired of creaming Jeffy go to the principal's office what's wrong Mario I have this weird feeling that Jeffy did something bad in this corner recently suspended from school assault charges pending weighing in at 120 lb Jeffy the bully Slayer ding ding ding we have a winner wo great job kid you're an animal that's my boy right there what's going on officer oh well your kid beat the crap out of another kid at school Jeffy why would you do that cuz he made me mad what's going to happen officer well now he's getting suspended for 10 days yes that's what I'm talking about daddy I ha take death yeah uhhuh yeah or he could take anger management classes and still go to school well he definitely needs anger management classes cuz he's going to stay in school I don't need anger management classes okay well clearly you do who's going to teach him anger management well that would be Dr me who's that really me I'm the doctor you're looking at him you you really dating somebody that's stupid okay look look he needs anger management so so do whatever you have to do all right let me go change hey there somebody call a doctor Dr me it's so good to finally meet you okay we're going to get you checked after this cuz there's something wrong up there Jeffy stop playing your cner the doctor's here hey there Jeffy it's nice to finally meet meet you Jeffy okay Jeffy we're going to try some anger management exercises okay now the first thing we're going to try is taking a deep breath when we're mad like this ready can you do that for me a what Oh Daddy Jeffy stop it seey okay no never mind we're not going to do breathing exercises uh okay try this okay how about this now whenever you get mad try counting to 10 until you calm down let's try that now uh I'm just going to make you mad how am I going to do that yeah oh yeah there yeah this stupid thing give me this yeah just my cat piano oh it's a cat piano is that what it is what's stupid I mean like make up your mind are you a cat or are you a piano like what's this do meow so predictable it makes meow sounds it's so dumb people who like this are dumb this is [Music] dumb okay now count to 10 1 2 3 4 what comes after four I'm not going to tell you what comes after four like what are you stupid you dumb like this piano you're dumb ow okay all right never mind that didn't work uh okay I have another plan do you have any balloons wait what all right Jeffy this one's called the balloon exercise now do you have that needle I gave you yep right here okay good now what we're going to do we're going to pretend this balloon is a person and he's going to insult you what I need you to do is hold back your anger and try not to pop the balloon if you pop the balloon you fail got it okay all right here we go oh Jeffy you're so stupid and ugly I'm glad I don't look like you which is stupid and ugly no see Jeffy that's bad you're not supposed to pop the balloon Jeffy you're not supposed to pop the balloon okay let's try this one Jeffy get out of my swamp you're too stupid and ugly to be in my swamp BL no see you're not supposed to pop Shrek that's bad Jeffy hold your anger back I'm trying zoink scoob it's Jeffy don't give him any Scooby Snacks he's stupid and ugly no it's bad Jeffy you're not supposed to top these balloons all right let's try this one Jeffy it's me the Terminator n you're so stupid and ugly put the cookie down no not quite Jeffy Jeffy you're failing all right I got one more for you Jeffy ravioli ravioli give me the form youi well I actually like plank D there you go that's great okay good we're making progress but but he popped four balloons well yeah but he didn't pop this one so he's doing good okay follow me Jeffy all right all right Jeffy this is called the sore loser exercise so for this exercise I'm going to beat the crap out of you in air hockey and you have to try not to get mad like a little [ __ ] which believe me is going to be hard cuz I'm going to own you an air hockey cuz I'm the best at air hockey you're going to be like how is he so good at air hockey and I'm like I don't know it's just a natural gift I have all right so turn it on all right Jeffy this Puck is going in that hole ready okay that's fine begin his luck I I let you have that one no problem all right prepare for a slaughtering here we go all right all right I like a good comeback story you're not getting another Point all right all right I know you think you're good but you're not okay I let you do that so you'll be more mad when I win okay now get ready all right all right you're kind of starting to piss me off a little bit but that's fine that's fine all right get ready I'm going to wreck you all right all right I was playing but now I'm not playing anymore okay I I let you get a five-point lead because that's what you're going to need if you ever want to beat me okay but I'm not playing around anymore this is for Real ready all right all right oh yeah you have a six-point lead yeah I know the first of seven wins okay I know but don't worry I'm going to make a comeback it's fine I can do it I'm going to win you watch I can see you getting mad over there I can see it in your eyes but don't worry I'm not mad I'm not mad no I'm cool I'm cool as a cucumber okay get ready to be mad cuz I'm going to win come on come on oh that is it oh oh no no I'm going to strangle you oh you come here come here K you get out of him but he cheated how he he put like butter on the puck or something I no know he made it faster you need anger management no come on let's do another exercise all right Jeffy now we're going to try pet therapy you be the G so whenever you get mad you just pet a little kitty like this you know like me whenever I lose an a hockey you know how that makes me mad because I was all state and I lose to some little chump who doesn't really know what he's doing and he probably cheated and that's probably why he won in the first place which is ridiculous because I'm a champion well you made the cat run off yeah yeah I'm sorry about that okay it's fine let's try something else okay all right Jeffy now we're going to try something I like to call Money therapy which is what I do and all the other things I try don't work so I just try to bribe the person to stop being mad so I can go home okay all right so I'm going to sit here and insult you and every time I insult you and you don't get mad I'll give you a dollar how how does that sound sounds good to me all right let's get started Jeffy you are so ugly that when you were born your mother asked the doctor if you were a boy or a girl and the doctor just said ugly all right here you go all right Jeffy you are so ugly you look like your mom get pregnant from a dirty toilet seat okay good it's working Jeffy you are super Calif fragilistic xpl adus NOP okay that's that's good okay all right you are so dumb you wouldn't remember to breathe if your brain didn't tell you to wow okay this is working it is working okay all right you are so dumb that when you say your ABCs you just stop there yeah it's pretty good right yeah it's good yeah all right all right this is good this is good are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion all right I think that worked it works okay so if we pay him he just doesn't get mad yeah I think this is pretty foolproof now why did you call me all those names but but I gave you I gave you the money though no you have to give me more money did not get mad I'm never going to forget that's all the money I have do do you have any money I don't have any money why did you call me those Nam do something do something I don't know let's try something else all right doctor what do we do I don't know I don't know how about we just try asking Jeffy what calmed him down the most okay uh Jeffy out of everything we've done today what calmed you down the most well I really like the money thing we can't do that we don't have all the money in the world well the breathing exercise help help a daddy seey okay well I don't want Jeffy doing that either well would you rather him go to jail for beating somebody up no you're just going to have to live with it then um Daddy can I play video gam all night no a Daddy please give it to me okay okay okay fine fine okay fine I I guess whenever you get mad you can just do that noise just just not just don't beat people up hey there how's it going what wait what's going on oh this is talk to me that I was telling you about yeah with twins I knew there was two of them guys are you ready to go back to school no dude I hate school yeah school sucks what are you talking about guys school's awesome no it's not Cody why are you such a nerd yeah why are you such a geek come on guys school's great we get to learn new stuff every day like math and science and social studies it's so cool it's the power of learning get off of them it's not worth it he's speaking nonsense I know I know dude okay everybody calm down and just look at my new backpack wao it's Hello Kitty yeah it sure is look at its little cat ears and its cat face and it's all sparkly and it's bulletproof cuz well you know well check out my backpack it's also bulletproof and it's Pokémon Edition wao dude that is awesome yeah junior did you just tape Poli worldl over all the other Pokémon no it came like this but Junior I see charmander's tail and Pikachu's ears no no you don't you're just saying stuff yeah Joseph where's your backpack uh wait we're supposed to have backpacks yeah how you going to take your stuff to school oh yeah I I forgot I have a backpack uh let me go and get mine oh do you think a back know oh voila look at my backpack guys backpack yeah it's very expensive dude yeah I mean you spelled backpack wrong but other than that it's cool dude I didn't spell it wrong it was the designer oh yeah oh that that's a really cool backpack and guess what dude I can carry my lunch and my books in here wo that's awesome I know wait wait speaking of lunch I think Chef peip is making me lunch for school today so let me get that and then we'll go head to school okay okay dude Chef peipi are you done packing my lunch for school yeah Junior and I packed it in this lunch box that I made for you you made this yes I made this it has a picture of your face on it oh I know because you think about me all the time don't you uh no but I guess when I see your face on my lunch box I'll think about you you better and it even has my famous catchphrase on it every day is Taco Tuesday you say that all the time I know because every day is Taco Tuesday so did you pack me tacos for lunch oh no we ran out what what yeah all I could find was this orange spiky fruit you might not want to touch it it's it's probably poisonous and I got some mayo chup and some cheese garlic and and a egg oh thanks for the lunch Che peee a you're welcome now take your stupid lunch and go to school you little brat okay guys guys look Chef peee made me my own lunchbox oh dude that is so awesome wow and it even has chef pee's catchphrase on it every day is Taco Tuesday but I've never heard him say that ever what he said that all the time yeah dude he's never said that sh B he says at least once per video Cody every day is Taco Tuesday see look you can't stop this man from saying it they can't stop me is this a dream am I in a dream Cody he says it all the time right shfp yeah yeah all the time hey Chef peei can I get a taco yes because every day is Taco Thursday see stop saying it get out of here oh sorry he says it all the time um okay can we just go to school now yeah yeah let's all go welcome back crft I hope you all had a really great summer but now it's time we get back to work and this year is going to be the hardest year of school that you ever had there's going to be a r of math a rot of Science and a rot of homework so let me go get all of your homework huh a bunch of homework hey Junior I didn't like it hey Junior he didn't like it but I like it I like homework a lot you actually like homework yeah of course Junior now I guess we have to get some paper out of our backpacks yeah let me get some paper out of my backpack wait Jeffy you don't have a backpack what's your backpack it's a pack that goes on your back and you stick stuff in it oh well I got a diaper I can stick stuff in that I got nose I can stick stuff in that I got a butt I can sck Jeffy Jeffy you have to have a backpack I didn't have to yes you do the teacher's going to get mad no he he's going to get mad he's going to get mad Jeffy okay whatever you don't need a backpack all right crass this is your homework for the first night it's math test no calculator and I know if you use a calculator cuz I want you to show your work so everyone take their homework and put it in their backpack hey Jeffy why you know how backpack I didn't like it oh you don't like it well I hope you like carrying around all this homework every single night hey loser where's your backpack I didn't like it you don't like it or you're just too poor to afford one I didn't like it yeah we'll check out my backpack it has superheroes on it I didn't like it okay whatever you don't even have a backpack everyone has a backpack even Joseph has a backpack yeah user loser oh hey Jeffy how was school Jeffy why are you crying cuz School Daddy I didn't like it I know you don't like school Jeffy but you have to go to school what D I keep getting made fun of well that's going to happen Jeffy look in the mirror okay I got made fun of today because I didn't have a backpack well you don't need a backpack Jeffy you don't do your school anyway well I want one well Jeffy why don't you just put stuff in your diaper well Daddy I told him I could do that but they still made fun of me okay fine Jeffy I guess you do need a backpack I'll go to the store and get you the best backpack I can buy good all right Jeffy I went to the store and got you a Minecraft backpack it was the most expensive backpack at the store oh beepy what does that mean you like it or no I like it I like it I like it I like it you did good Daddy give us some glove a glove too slow D you know what Jeffy fine here's your backpack for school I hope you enjoy it and just go to school tomorrow and pay attention grape grape all right craft I hope you all did your homework last night cuz tonight we got 900 more pages of homework let me go get you some more homework I got a backpack should talk poop now I dare you I double dog dare you to get off in this nice Minecraft backpack loser what is it 2009 oh you messed up now I got my enchanted sword that I crafted in Minecraft using obsidian and Barney hugs you can't have that at school yes I can ow don't hit me you didn't like it teacher hey there Mario hey what are you doing here well your son got in trouble today at school Jeffy got in trouble Jeffy you got in trouble at school today Jeffy why' you get in trouble Jeffy answer me answer me Jeff stop why'd he get in trouble well he brought this to school a toy sword oh it's not just any toy sword it's an enchanted diamond toy sword Jeffy why'd you take toys to school Jeffy don't take toys to he won't do it again officer well he didn't just bring it to school he hid a kid with it and now the kid wants to press charges but I didn't feel like doing all the paperwork so I told the kid no he couldn't do that now I'm sure I'll be hearing about that later but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it that's fuch's problem okay well you know what Jeffy no taking toys to school okay well what about the monkeys what you said no more monkeys jumping on the bed when I was jumping on the bed you said that Daddy okay no no no monkeys jumping on the bed and no toys at school okay yeah he's not going to take toys you're not going to have another problem from us again okay great I'll remember that for the next time when I come back cuz you had a problem okay all right Jeffy so so don't take toys at school and don't hit kids with it so no toys at school uhhuh no Monkeys Jumping on the Bed uh-huh and and and and no hitting kids with toys all right Jeffy I'll just sit here and I just I'll just leave you here so you can think about it all right Jeffy you've been here long enough it's time to go to bed Daddy I don't like my Minecraft backpack anymore well why not cuz Daddy it's poopy it's poopy on my diaper it's a stin what Jeffy I spent 30 bucks on that well dny I wiped my butt with 30 bucks that was your lunch money for this week oh Jeffy look why do you not want your backpack anymore well Daddy I don't like it okay you know fine Jeffy I had a Christmas gift that I was trying to keep you know secret for you but if you don't like this backpack anymore I guess I'll show it to you here it is it's a backpack with your face on it thanks Daddy this the best backpack ever yes say want to see my pencil on you say that all the time you want to see my pencil yeah see so Jeffy look I got you a backpack it's custom made just for you where' you get daddy only at smlmerch.com that's a plug Daddy give me some glove too slow daddy daddy is the best backpack ever all right Jeffy well anyway look if you get bullied just hide inside your backpack okay all right thanks Daddy you're best daddy ever I know put this all right crra happy third day of school I hope you all did all 900 pages of your homework last night because tonight we have 2,000 pages of homework and this night is very important because it's passport to advance math so what we're going to do is we're going to keep doubling your homework every single day for the rest of the year hey loser why do you have a backpack on your head you can't see me and why do you have your face on your backpack is it so you don't forget who you are Jeffy take that backpack off your head I have to see your face I don't have to that's good enough every day is Taco Tuesday no no it's not shefi not every day is Taco Tuesday you've never said that before stop saying it I hide my face too with a backpack if I were that ugly oh okay idiot got jokes he asked for what what what are you doing in there oh my God what's that prepare to fire that won't save you hey there Mario I'm back cuz there's been another problem but what did Jeffy do this time daddy I ain't do nothing it's your sister trying to bring her brother down yeah okay well what he did is he tried to vaporize another student with his backpack vaporize yeah yeah he shot lasers out of his backpack and tried to vaporize another student what the backpack can't shoot lasers Daddy when I count to 13 I skipped 12 cuz I hate 12 okay it can't shoot lasers uh apparently it can cuz it did okay what happened well he tried to vaporize the kid but luckily the kid didn't get hurt cuz he has a bulletproof backpack you know kids these days always have bulletproof backpacks cuz well you know okay so I'm guessing the kid wants to press charges oh sure yeah he wants to but I can't do anything about it I'm still suspended from last time when I didn't let him press charges what you're suspended yeah yeah I'm not even really a cop right now I just kind of like to play dress up so bye Jeffy why would you do that to the kid well he was bullying me Daddy and it's my bulletproof backpack it keeps me from getting bullied uh yeah that's not a guarantee that's that's not legally binding and it it can't shoot lasers either I I don't I don't know why it did that anyway Jeffy don't let any bullies push you around okay and if you want your own Jeffy backpack go to SML merch.com and this video was sponsored by all right Jeffy open up your present one present D yeah you only got one why I I I don't know that's all Santa brought what it better be something good elephant poop I wanted this last year Jeffy that's not elephant poop that's Cole and you got Cole cuz you're a bad boy you said jeffy's a bad boy yeah Jeffy you were a bad boy all year long so Santa got you cold because you got our videos age restricted take that Santa Claus Jeffy you did the Christmas tree Jeffy yeah because Santa Claus gave me elephant poop Jeffy you didn't get toys cuz you were bad and bad kids don't get toys for Christmas [Applause] jimy oh F Mario happy free stuff day where my presents at oh yeah I did get you a present Black Yoshi hold on let me get it Merry Christmas Black Yoshi oh what' you get me I hope it's money let me see purp is Kool-Aid oh you know me all too well folk yeah I know I got you coola always package came for you fol a package came yeah for me mhm it's from YouTube where where did you get this oh I stole it off our front doorstep see I was going around stealing packages on people's front doors and I stole this one from my house oh what it but it's from YouTube what what would YouTube want to send us I don't know let me see what this present has been age restricted yeah yeah that's that's what they've been doing to us well anyway Merry Christmas Black Yoshi Merry Christmas whoa look at all this stuff I got for Christmas this are the best Christmas ever stupid Santa Claus Jeffy what's wrong I didn't get anything for Christmas what you you didn't get anything for Christmas well I got elephant poop elephant poop yeah well Santa gave me all this cool stuff look he gave gave me this robot and he gave me a Thomas the Dank engine he's so dank you got all this stuff for Christmas from Santa Claus yeah from Santa Claus Daddy Daddy what's wrong Jeffy why did Junior get present from Santa Claus and I only got elephant poop well because Jeffy I already explained this to you you were bad all year long and Santa Claus doesn't give toys to kids that were bad well how did he know I was bad daddy because Jeffy Santa Claus is always watching you he always knows if you're bad or not and you're bad all year long so he didn't give you any toys so Santa Claus is watching right now yep Santa Claus is watching you right now well I got a message for Santa Claus hey Santa Claus F you n that smells fun and I'm not having fun right now cuz you didn't give me any new toys to play with well Jeffy you're being bad right now and he's not listening to you well how do I get toys right now daddy well Jeffy if I got Santa Claus to come visit you right now would you apologize to him and promise you'd be good forever yeah you would uhhuh so if I go get Sant Claus you apologize to him all right Jeffy let me go get Santa Claus but you got to be on your best behavior and you got to apologize and promise you'll always be good okay Daddy all right Jeffy Santa Claus will be here any second now okay Daddy what's that sound Jeffy could it be I think it's Santa Claus ho ho ho and I'm not talking about my ex-wife Santa Claus yep that's me I'm Santa and I brought Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer people used to laugh and call them names and they still do your Rednosed freak all right Jeffy clown yeah I'm sorry I'm done all right Jeffy ugly we get it all right all right Jeffy what were you going to say to Santa Claus hey Mr Santa Claus F you waa oh it smells fun yeah and I'm not having fun this year because you didn't bring me any new toys well you've been a really bad boy this year you've been yelling and cussing and breaking stuff and kids like that don't get toys yeah Jeffy and he's been watching you all year yeah I've been watching all the kids just millions of kids 24/7 365 watching watching all the kids I see I see everything they do I uh I should be investigated I I have a problem a problem making all these toys for for all the kids is what I meant to say but it's kind of messed up if you think about it like like I got thousands of midgets working for me for no pay to make toys and then I break into people's houses to deliver those toys and then and then I fly in my sleigh over no fly zones and and just to go back home so I can watch more kids well Mr San Claus I'm sorry and I promise you be good give me toys well I'm sorry but that's I'm sorry you are so ugly is that glitter on your nose yes what did you even try on your costume what is this did you shave your stomach did you get spayed it's homemade I made it last night he how about we focus on this oh yeah sorry uh you're not getting any toys this year cuz you were bad you have to wait till next year next year take that's not the real Santa Claus he's right I'm a fraud boy and this isn't Rudolph either it's my coworker Jerry uh the the real Santa Claus dad uh the the real Santa Claus Jeffy he's in uh North Carolina North Carolina don't you mean the North Pole oh yeah the north the North Pole that's yeah yeah Santa Claus likes to go to North Carolina on weekends so we can look at lighthouses at Cape hatus oh he's at the North Pole Jeffy I I couldn't get him he was really busy so I got this Santa Claus so yeah well I'm going to find the real Santa Claus well thanks for trying so Cody he can shoot rockets and missiles and also can blow up an entire planet he can do all that stuff yeah Santa Claus gave him to him he's pretty cool Junior I need your help with what I need to go to North Carolina wh why to see Santa Claus don't you mean the North Pole and why do you got to see Santa Claus anyway because he didn't give me no toys for Christmas and I got to ask him why well Cody uh can you take us to North Pole with like one of your machines no Junior there's no way well do you think you can bring Santa Claus to us with like a tel a machine h i I might have something for that hold on really let me just get the old uke here this ukulele can open up portals and space and time just with music really yeah so if we play a catchy enough jingle maybe we can bring Santa here okay let's give it a shot my name is Cody and I'm a hunky do hunky dude hunky dude hunky dude hunky dude what do you think about that where's the portal the portal what what what the portal I opened to your heart no no the one that's supposed to bring Santa Claus to us oh well well this is just a normal ukulele I just I just wanted to know if you like the song it it was okay I likeed it okay well I I'll work on that but here is the Santa portal waa yeah how's it work well you just crank the old knob and then you turn that dial there but you have to say what you want to bring here okay is that simple yep okay um we want Santa Claus in this room right now [Applause] okay whoa what's going on here where am I oh hey Santa I'll tell you what's going on you're about to catch these hands take that Santa Jiffy you knocked out Santa Claus yeah why'd you do that cuz he didn't give me no toys for Christmas oh ho oh no why did you do that cuz you didn't give me no toys for Christmas what no toys hold on the only reason you will get no toys is if you were on the naughty list let me check H so what was your name little boy my name is Jeffy she she on my shirt Jeffy H Jeffy yes look your name's right here junior Cody stop [Music] [Music] him let me go kids no I'm never letting you go until you give me a toy I can't give toys to kids that are naughty well I'm never going to let you go Shanta listen I'll give you all the toys you want if you let me go all the toys I want [Music] okay there I made the Rope extra tight this time listen I will run again I swear if you let me go shut up Santa I'm never letting you go after what you just did just let me get my toy back and I'll give you whatever toy you want Santos promise ooh Junior should I trust him well he gave you the Santa's promise and I don't think he'd run again so yeah I'd let him go all right yeah I don't think he's going to run again this is my magical toy bag it has every toy you can imagine but but it's empty because I can reach all the toys from the North Pole wait wait so so that bag takes you to the North Pole uh-huh what El help give me this claws jimy he's trying to escape to the North Pole get him St him hurry up [Music] I think I'm free let me go I'm sorry we're not falling for that again Santa you keep trying to escape yeah Santa why is it so hard to give Jeffy just one toy because he's naughty who's that I don't know help help CR it cringle oh hold on hold on guys I'm going answerer the door just just keep them shut up uh hello Merry Christmas uh cops uh what are you doing here here oh yeah we got a call from the North Pole saying that Santa had called them and told them that he had been kidnapped kidnapped Santa Claus got kidnapped yeah yeah we take calls from the North Pole pretty seriously so I'm going to have to come in and look around even though I don't have a warrant uh but uh Santa Claus is definitely not here so so why would you want to come in yeah but I I still have to search so okay now where is that Santa is that noise uh it's the it's the robot toy that I got for Christmas oh that's awesome huh ooh what is that thing oh that's my snow globe oh what was that uh your mom what cuz she's fat my mom uh-huh really really you're going to do that you're going to call my mom fat what what what what do the matter with you just insult my mother like that I met your exwife hey here you go my man all right if you see Santa you just give me a call okay okay we'll do guys what was all that noise we almost got caught sorry Junior we were trying to keep him quiet well I saw Jeff trying to keep him quiet by hitting him in the head what were you doing I was hitting him in the head mhm well you were doing a bad job at it m I just want toys well yeah what were we going to do are you going to give them toys or not listen I'll give you one toy if you give me milk and cookies what what milk and cookies I mean I don't know if we should trust them he keeps trying to run off and stuff but all right Cody how about you go get the milk and cookies and we'll stay here with them okay these are some good cookies boy thank you am I going to get to or not I'll take damage and no Santa why you playing games just give Jeffy a toy gu guys Cody not right now Jeffy why does Santa hit you so much oh no Junior guys what Cody I think Santa's choking he's choking yeah what do we do I don't know Junior Santa stop making that noise Jeffy you just saved Santa's life yeah Jeff you saved Santa Claus's life well great yeah you saved my life give me TOs maybe you're not so naughty after all give me toys you know what I will give you toys Jeffy you're G to get a toy for saving his life great okay I decided to give all three of you a toy really awesome yeah so just turn around count to 10 and then when you turn it back around you'll have your toy okay okay yeah that's awesome and go 1 2 3 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 9 10 where's our toy what oh he left what oh he caught us off guard I wasn't expecting that oh man no I'm never going to get a toy oh my God there's no point chasing either you know he's already at the North Pole yeah oh I'm never going to get a toy for Christmas that sucks Jeffy yeah I just really wanted a toy yeah everybody deserves a toy on Christmas except for me yeah except for you Junior I I mean hey Jeffy uh you want to have my my my really cool super cool robot toy for Christmas really yeah you can have that oh nice junior thank you see Junior Christmas should be about giving yeah I mean that did feel really good yeah why didn't we just bring Santa back with this thing oh it's all out of juice Junior it's not going to work oh but uh is there something you want to give me um you know like like anything just no oh is there anything you can give me oh oh yeah there is hey Dy hey What's Going Jeffy can you get your dog off the couch he starting to slobber yeah but first car some chocolate cake chocolate cake did you clean your room yeah but don't check I'm going to go check I said go check daddy let me check and see if he cleaned the room JY you did not clean your room this room is a mess you lied d i can't lie this is what happened you asked me if I clean my room and I said yeah but don't check so you had to check so if you were never checked you would have assumed my room was clean so it didn't turn into a lie until you saw that I lied so you really lied to yourself how you feel about lying yourself liar Jeffy no look you're going to clean your room in 5 minutes or you're grounded and you don't get chocolate cake how about 4 minutes okay even better clean it in 4 minutes then how about 3 minutes okay how about 1 minute then if you want do less time done okay get it clean in 1 minute then all right time to clean my room next thing Mr [Music] G CH Mr Piggy Mr car all right Daddy clean my room for real this time all right I'm going to go check Jeffy all right let me check what whoa Jeffy you cleaned your room sure did daddy now how about that chocolate cake well I mean you did clean your room and it's spotless so go in the kitchen and get your chocolate cake okay great all right Daddy I got my chocolate cake Jeffy that's a lot of chocolate well D I like my cake how I like my women chocolate with a fat ass well Jeffy if you're going to eat this on the couch it's going to make a mess well I want to eat it on the couch Daddy I cleaned my room well where's your fork I was going to eat it with my hands Daddy no no you're eating with your hands look we're go get you a fork and some napkins come on all right Daddy on Dad I got my Fork all right Jeffy and I got your napkins so let's go eat your chocolate cake all right daddy where's my chocolate cake did you eat it no Jeffy I couldn't have ate it I was with you the whole time oh no Jeffy I think your dog might have ate the chocolate cake bad poopy butt b b b b bad no no no Jeffy Jeffy dogs can't eat chocolate well he did daddy cuz it's not here anymore well no I me like dogs can't eat chocolate Daddy are you insane he did eat the chocolate cake because the chocolate cake is not here well no no I mean like dogs chocolate is not for dogs I know cuz it's for me it's my chocolate cake no no I meant like if dogs eat chocolate they might go to sleep forever yeah I would take a nap for a long time today if I eat a whole chocolate cake no no Jeffy hold on I got to call the vet this is serious there might be something wrong with your dog bad poopy butt uh hello hey uh there's a lot of stuff in your yard like toys and stuff mostly are you guys having a yard sale like literally what no no no no no my son's dog it's an emergency I need you to come inside okay all right what seems to be the problem wait you guys had chocolate cake without me chocolate is my favorite I could literally eat it until I die oh see look that's what we think might have happened see look we had this huge chocolate cake and we think my son's dog might have ate it so if he ate that cake uh do you think he'd be okay no if dogs eat too much chocolate they die don't say die son's right there oh I'm sorry they go to sleep forever well can you check on my son's dog and see if he's okay um no no he went to sleep forever wait he did yeah you can't do anything about that no I can't bring him back from the dead well you can't like rub things together like in the movie like they rub them together and they shock I'm like no I'm a vet I'm not going to defibrillate an animal well then what do I do about him oh you dig a hole in the backyard and then you throw him inside and then you put a really sad post on Facebook and get a couple hundred likes and feel better okay then what do I do about my son um I don't know just tell him the truth I can't tell him the truth look at him if I tell him the truth he's going to freak out and scream and cry and I don't know I don't know how to tell him okay well how about I do it I mean I mean yeah you are a doctor you're used to telling people sad stuff all the time yeah okay so what okay I want you to tell him but tell him in like a little kid way like a way he'll understand like a nice cartoony way oh okay no problem hey Jeffy your dog is dead my dog is dead right why would you tell him like that oh I'm sorry but the you rip this bandaid off the better okay dead dead dead dead dead your dog's dead he's not coming back dead you could have told him in a nicer way oh I'm sorry your dog croaked he's warm food now is that Disney enough for you you just did out okay look how about you just get your kid a toy and he'll calm right down there's a ton of him in the yard anyway Jeffy it's going to be okay Jeff I want my doggy back I know Jeffy but look look everything's going to be okay okay look one day will get you a new dog okay I don't want a new doggy Daddy I want this doggy oh Jeffy look look look sometimes things in life happen and you just have to move on from it okay no bring me my doggy back right now oh Jeffy how about this how about this look we'll sing a song together okay look uh your dog is is is dead but one day we'll get you a new one I hate that CH daddy Jeffy I wish I could bring your dog back but I can't Jeffy play play I'm loving it you get it it's like McDonald's but with BL the devil daddy what's the ketchup man doing here are we out a ketchup ketchup man that is a new one well no je it's not the ketchup man that's the devil and I don't know what he's doing here oh come on I heard you wish your dog would come back to life and I can do that because I am the devil well well you know what we don't need your help cuz usually when you want to help someone you want something in return like our souls or you want us to do something bad oh no no no I don't want anything in return we're friends I just wanted to help you out so you you can really bring this dog back to life oh yes I love dogs especially Michael Vick not All Dogs Go to Heaven huh but there's a movie about it that movie is [ __ ] you think a pit bull that bites a 5-year-old Face Off is going to heaven no no no way in hell okay so you can bring this dog back and you don't want anything in return nope it'll be totally cool okay Jeffy do you want your dog back yeah D I really want my dokey back all right so uh yeah if you can really bring him back then then bring him back okay stand back you actually thought that [ __ ] was going to work so so you can't bring him back oh no I can it's easy okay this time for real play Bo he's alive boy but you're alive I make you what the [ __ ] what's wrong with him oh yeah I forgot when I bring things back from the dead they're always evil well you should have told us that before you did it well you really wanted him to come back to life I thought it'd be okay how do we kill him how do we stop him oh you can't he's a demon he's a moral what he's a mortal what if he tries to kill somebody oh he will he definitely will so he's evil now yep oh my God okay you know what you're going to help me stop him okay I've always wanted the dog okay Jeffy look you're going to stay here so you don't get hurt okay all right daddy my arm's already a chew toy all right look we're going to go stop this dog cuz you did this come on okay look he has a knife yep he sure does well stop him oh look the only thing I have is holy water oh Jesus it burned oh [ __ ] why'd you drop it look I'm the devil and it's holy water I'm not supposed to touch it well then what are we going to do now he's found a knife I could try going to talk to him he there little doggy who's a bad boy yes yes that's right you are a bad boy aren't you yes you're very bad Jesus let's go God it sucks thank you God thank you very much for the help are you okay no this little bastard bit me I'm going to get demon rabies well what do we do now um I don't know we could try to poison his dog fold that would be very evil well you said he's Immortal you said he can't die oh look man it's worth a try I'm out of ideas okay look we're going to put poisonous dog food and and you're going to make it work okay cuz you're the devil you can do anything all right fine whatever all right here's the dog food now where's the poison right there that's sprinkles they are poison sprinkles from hell they are colorful but very deadly okay now one bite of this and he will go straight back to hell all right now let's try to get him to eat it all right okay all right so we're going to leave the food right here so now let's go find him okay okay let's go find him oh look there he is oh hell no those are my LeBron Diamond turs wait wait what those are my shoes they're collectors he's a dick well stop Che on stop it I I bad dog bad these are totally ruined now how am I supposed to pull Hil hoes well I don't know but hey uh uh poopy but uh we got some delicious food over here come on come on come on all right poopy but look eat your dog food yeah that's right eat it that's right eat it hey Daddy can you help me clean my bowling ball what [ __ ] oh my God is he going to be okay I I don't know all right he's paralyzed from the neck down so he can't hurt anybody even though he really wants to so Jeffy you got your dog back he was he's exactly how he was before yay poopy B I missed you so much careful he might bite more than he used to but that's just how he says I love you I hate you so guys what do you want to do today y guys what do you want to do today that's all you ever say junior yeah it's getting old dude yeah say something new um well fellas what kind of activities would you like to partake in this evening H I like that better oo what a classy gentleman you but I'm bored yeah me too guys check it out I got my daddy's credit card you stole your dad's credit card it's only stealing if you get caught Bingo well you're still using it without his permission so that is stealing no this is my daddy's credit card and if he were to die then I would inherit it that's not how credit cards work shut up Cody what are you going to buy Jeffy oh don't know what do you guys think I should buy something involving balls I like balls all right what about a ski ball machine I heard ski and balls so I'm in a ski ball machine I've always wanted one Joseph me too dude Jeffy go buy a ski ball machine all all right guys we got our ski ball machine all thanks to my daddy's credit card Woo I love committing a felony dreams do come true credit card from Cody what are you doing I'm trying to put the ball in my mouth roll the ball Cody come on dude okay here I go oh got a 100 oh my God you're really good at this game Savage dude all right my turn but you're not supposed to throw it Jeffy but you you got to throw it my turn no you're not supposed to throw you're going to break it if you throw it like that oh you guys broke the game we didn't even have a turn yet well it's my Danny's credit card and if anyone can break the ski ball machine it's me yeah I mean I guess he's right well now what game are we going to play we never got a turn I think it should be a game involving balls and men oh I got the perfect idea BGE ball table now this is what I'm talking about bunch of strong dudes fighting over a ball wish it was me uh I don't like this game it's pretty segregated blacks versus whites well we all know who's going to win you guys are much faster and stronger than us but you guys try pickup trucks and lock your kids in hot cars well guess who has 45 presidents oh lucky you [ __ ] how many impeach though you know what better yet name a good white rapper Eminem a that's a get me come on I'm name a black NASCAR driver nobody watches NASCAR who wants diverse me boo ball dear God well come on guys let's play I guess I'll play come on Jeffy I'll play you but you got to you got to hit the ball in the middle Cody guys okay guys look I don't like this game it Cody stop it all right guys Jeffy why don't you buy a ball pit oh so a woman what no like you know a pit full of balls like a chuckecheese we can all dive in oh okay I'll go buy one of your all right best purchase ever all right guys peace de the ball pit wow this is the biggest ball pit I've ever seen how deep is it like 10 ft I'm in heaven dude this is so dop all right Jeffy you jump in first all right shyara hose I want to jump in I want to jump in Su what where are we it looks like some kind of pocket of air inside the ball pit oh it's like a cool little Hideout but can we get out if we wanted to oh let me see what what what guys the balls they won't open up I've never been this balls deep before well Cody I mean you would enjoy having all these balls around you right well yeah but not these kind of balls well guys if we want to get out we can't what are we going to eat I don't know dude scream [Applause] help Jeffy have you seen my credit card Jeffy it's missing out of my wallet you better not have taken it and bought something Jeffy what is this a ski ball machine and a foood ball machine Jeffy that is that you are so grounded dead what is that my phone hello hey Marvin Goodman why are you calling me did you win the lottery recently no did your grandfather die and you inherit a bunch of money no so then why are you running up your credit card like you do have a bunch of money well I haven't ran up my credit card I haven't used it once okay well let's go over your purchases shall we $3,000 ski ball machine 3,000 $2,000 Foos ball table $2,000 $5,000 ball pit $5,000 ball pit you're making a lot of ball rated purchases so if you don't pay off your credit card by the end of the month I'm going to show up to your house and I'm going to bite your balls off then I'm going to put a 2 two on and swing your balls around like a ball Arena listen listen someone stole my credit card Goodman and but but here's the thing they left all the expensive things at my house so I can just return it okay well let's hope they left the receipt at your house too well I'm going to find the receipt I'm going to return all this stuff so I don't owe anything on my credit card well for your balls let's hope oh you don't have to worry about that Jeffy where's the receip for all this stuff Jeffy where you at Jeffy I need that SE Jeffy are you in the ball pit are you in here Jeffy there's no point in screaming for help no one's going to hear us down here I know you're ready Jeffy wait that's my daddy well scream help so he can hear us no no no no because he's going to be really mad D I took his credit card well I mean yeah I'd be mad if somebody stole my credit card too well we got to be saved help help me Daddy I guess he's not in there aha I found your SHO Jeffy I know you're in there you're just choosing not to come out well guess what I'm going to call the cops and I'm going to say that you stole my credit card cuz you're 18 and that's credit card fraud and you're going to go to jail Jeffy you don't care okay I'm going to call the cops I can't believe your dad didn't hear screaming for help well at least I'm not grounded well we still have to get out of here man if we had a girl in here we could totally repopulate I mean just close your eyes and pretend I'm a girl it's not the same hey there you call the cops uh yeah go on oh you want me to start talking no I thought we'd all just sit here and guess why you called us or maybe we can play I Spy hey Simmons I spy with my little eye a massive waste of police resources I give up it's him Simmons oh this a little bugger where are you from all right look this is what happened someone stole my credit card and bought a ski ball machine and a foosball table and a ball pit and I know who did it but I don't want to tell you okay so it seems to me like all the stuff you just listed is here yeah it is okay so somebody stole your credit card had all the stuff shipped to you and you set it up like you were going to use it uh yeah well see like when the boxes came I I I I set it all up and then I realized I didn't buy this so you put all the balls into the ball pit before you realized you didn't buy a ballit okay look can I just tell you the truth yes I would prefer that I don't know why we didn't just start with that okay look my son went to my wallet took my credit card bought all this stuff and now he's hiding in the ball pit won't come out okay so you called us to what spank him well no no he's 18 so like I want you to like arrest him oh you want to press charges only if he doesn't have the receipt to return all this stuff okay so let me see if I have this straight your son stole your credit card bought all this stuff and now you want us to arrest him if he doesn't have the receipts to return the stuff exactly you writing all this down Simmons I don't have a pin thank you Simmons yeah so like that that's what I want you to do okay so let me see if I have this right you want two professional police officers to dive into a ball pit during work hours yes you I love my job so much sometimes okay but before we do that all this talk about credit card fraud is reminding me of when I had my credit card stolen you had your credit card stolen I did Simmons thank you for asking and I want to tell you all about it all right Simmons just like we practiced I once had my credit C I try to get it back actually you know what Simmons let's not sing it that's kind of lame I'll I'll just tell you about it instead so I'm at my doctor job at the hospital right and I'm doing this long 18-hour open heart surgery and it's taking forever I'm getting tired I'm getting hungry So eventually I tell the patient the nurses hey I'm going to go get lunch real quick I'll be right back so I go out into the waiting room when we have the vending machines we have one of those nice vending machines the new ones that takes credit cards so it doesn't even matter if you don't have cash so then I see they have Cheez it'ss in the vending machine and you know I'm going to get Cheez itss cuz I love Cheez itss so I swipe my card get a bag of Cheez itss I swipe my card again I get a second bag of Chee itss and I'm thinking two bags of Cheez itss are not enough Cheez itss I got to buy the whole damn row of Cheez itss so I swipe my card again and as I'm doing that I notice out of the corner of my eye I see somebody with binoculars watching me buy cheit and I'm thinking why would somebody have binoculars in a hospital watching me buy Chez itss and then I realize he must be with the cheit corporation he's trying to keep track of how many Cheez itss a single person can buy and I'm thinking maybe I'm going to win some kind of contest you know cuz I'm buying all these Cheez itss so I start swiping my card really slow so he can get all my information cuz I want to make sure he can track me down to give me all my cheese reward you know so then I buy like seven bags of cheit and then I walk over to the guy cuz my curiosity is getting the best of me I'm like hey hey I see you and then the guy hides his binoculars and then I'm like no no no I already caught you I know you're with the cheit corporation and then he's like no sir I'm not with the cheit corporation and I'm like no no no I saw your binoculars I already got you and then I see in front of him he has a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers on it and it looks kind of like a credit card number but then I realize that must be all the cheit I bought in my lifetime I'm definitely winning this contest so I give the guy my name and my home address and my social security number all the information he needs you know cuz I also want to make sure that I can write this off as a gift on my taxes when I get all my cheit so he's so happy like he's so happy to have all this information so I'm like I definitely won this contest so I go back home to my wife and I'm like honey cheesy Wonka is going to give me the cheit factory I'm going to be a cheit king she doesn't believe me she thinks I'm crazy and I'm like honey you just watch this is going to be awesome so I sit back and I'm feeling good I'm I'm feeling confident and then my phone starts ringing and it's my credit card company and they said that my credit cards are all maxed out and then my bank calls and said they're repossessing my house and my credit is ruined cuz it turns out there was no cheesy Wonka and that guy did not work for the cheit company he was a credit card scammer and he stole my identity and all of my money so now whenever I see somebody with binoculars I just start throwing hay makers like one time I was in the park and I saw these old ladies with binocular and then I started throwing hay makers and yeah it turns out they were bird watching but still so yeah just be glad it was your son that stole your credit card and not some binoculars wielding scammer from the madeup cheit factory okay can we get Jeffy out of the ball pit to see if we can find the receipts yeah sure ball pit time Simmons oh goody wow this ball pit looks pretty deep that was balls deep in your mother last night thank you Simmons now I have that image in my head can you just go in the ball pit and grab Jeffy I don't know man this looks kind of deep I don't want to drown but drowned in plastic balls do you know how many ball pit related deaths there are every year no well neither do I but it's got to be at least one and I don't want to be it so you're telling me that Jeffy could be dead in there I don't know man well just go in there you're a cop okay but if I yell help you help okay Simmons I got it I mean that should go without saying but with you I don't really know okay oh God oh God I'm sinking Simmons help me I call Simmons you saved my life I don't know what I would do without you never let go Simmons I won't can you guys go in there and grab my son hey I almost died man okay look so none of you are going to go in there hey I have an idea how about you go in here okay I got an idea how about we wrap like a string around one of you guys so if you go down there we can pull you out ooh that's a pretty good idea okay I'm going to go grab a string okay there you go why do I got to do it well you're a better swimmer than me Simmons back at the Academy we used to call you swimm oh that's right I did get a bronze medal for swimming yeah so when you get in there when you find Jeffy you tug three times we'll pull you out all right what happens if I tug four times that means you need to pee what about five times that means you have to poop what about six times that means you want some cheit what about seven times well that means means you want to go to Outback Steakhouse when we're done here all right well let's start tugging let's get some of that shrimp on the Bobby oh yeah The Chocolate Thunder from Down Under it's delicious you're not going to tug more than three times you only tug three times if you find someone or if an emergency happens you tug three times all right go wait how many times was he supposed to T three oh we're never going to be saved I'm so hungry yeah we might need to eat someone dude start with my butt Jesus Christ OH police officer we're saved or harass Before You Accuse Me of anything I didn't do it well those four of you well yeah yeah you're here to save us yeah let's go kids what are you going to do is you're going to hold on to each other's hands and we're going to pull you out of here okay come on dude all right what how many was that was it Chee it's or out back just pull P pull we're free as a free man Master Simmons you saved four boys you're a hero I try mate but Jeffy do you have all the receipts for all this stuff you just bought me well come on Jeffy so Jeffy you do not have any of the receipts for all this expensive stuff you bought on my credit card well I do have the receipts but kind of not how do you kind of not you either don't have it or you do well I do have the receipt then show it to me but I spit my gum into it this is deserved I am a [ __ ] so are are we pressing charges am I going to Outback what are we doing M my lasagna that took 8 hours of hard work to make is finally done I can't wait to take it out of the oven hey going block dish this smells good oh no Jeffy what's wrong Jeffy oh nothing Mario je peee why a you yelling inshine voices pee peee sh don't spy me you know what you did Jeffy sheff what did Jeffy do he knocked over my lasagna all over the floor hold on actually gravity made you drop your lasagna you kick the ball in my face Jeffy that I did do yes Jeffy you did that yep well say you're sorry to Chef peee I didn't have to yes you do Jeffy if you say you're sorry it'll make everything better really yes well I'm sorry Chef peipi I'm still mad Mario Jeff accept his apology I'm trying to teach Jeffy manners so I'm teaching him how to say I'm sorry so accept his apology he knocked over my lasagna well fix it just say just accept his apology so he learns to say he's sorry you know what Jeffy I accept your apology I'm so happy that you knocked over my lasagna you're welcome so happy see Jeffy when you say I'm sorry it makes everything better okay ow Jeffy sorry Daddy it doesn't work like that my phone's ringing uh hello Mario please black Yoshi where are you I'm in jail jail how'd you end up in jail because the popo done arrested me for going trick-or-treating Black Yoshi it's not Halloween how they arrest you for trick-or-treating well let me explain folk so I was walking through the neighborhood right and so I saw packages on people's front doorsteps so I be took some black Yoshi that's stealing people's packages okay Mario do what do people do on Halloween they put candy on they front doorstep for people to take and so I thought they were putting packages on their front doorstep for me to take so I took some like you she know that that just means they haven't gotten their package yet like they didn't bring it inside well how am I supposed to know that folk I thought they just ain't want them so they didn't bring them in so I took some like you that's stealing look how much is your bail oh about $45,000 $45,000 black Yi what did you do you had to do more than just stealing packages well the man that was delivering the packages he had a whole car full of packages so I done tooks the whole car you stole a car yeah black Yosi look I don't know if I'll be able to bail you out this time that's too much money oh Mario please get the money call one of your rich friends or something I can't stay in jail folk oh black I'll see what I can do the only Rich friend I have is Goodman I'll call him uh hello hey Mario you asked me to come over yeah I need a favor come inside hold on Mario I want to show you something look at that that's a black car not just any black car it's a Tesla what's a Tesla it's a car that drives itself Mario it can drive itself yeah it can drive itself while I sit there and I look at my bank account to see how rich I am I can even look at Tinder and find myself a new maid okay yeah it's my most favorite car ever it drives itself so I never have to drive again Mario it's absolutely brilliant that's really cool yeah it's my most favorite car ever I would absolutely die if something happened to it well nothing will happen to it right cuz it can drive itself absolutely Mario there's cameras all around it so it avoids crashes so it'll never be wrecked that's really cool but I I need you to come inside cuz I need a favor okay Mario all right Mario so what favor did you need from me well my friend hold on right there hold on one second check that out Mario you know what that is money money on my background on my iPhone 11 Pro okay well anyway I invited you over because my hold on hold on hold on I hope you're not about to ask me for money cuz then I'd be mad uh well well hold on well let me let me explain first my friend uh needs some help and it involves you you can solve the problem oh how how could I solve his problem well you have a lot of uh don't you say it you have a lot of intelligence mhm that yeah correct which has given you the opportunity in your life to make a lot of good choices M that have led to the the the making of frequent larg amount of money ah I knew it ow ow ow ow well look okay look my my friend's in jail and and he needs money to get bailed out why would we need to bail him out actually me why would my money be needed to bail him out well well actually I mean he I just want him out of jail because he doesn't like it in there does he contribute to society well he plays video games a lot and he I mean he's arrested for stealing people's packages that's where my package went well well so anyway huh why is Richard calling me decline wait you're not going to answer that no so back to your friend Mario oh I can't believe I had to drive all the way out to this poor neighborhood because my dad wouldn't answer his phone let me go see what he's doing where's my dad at hey Rick you're can I drive your Lamborghini sure kid whatever where's my dad oh I think he's upstairs with my daddy all right thanks oh man I can't believe Richard's going to let me drive his Lamborghini I'm going get in it all right now how you start this thing is it this button I'm going so fast oh oh man I shouldn't have had that Gatorade oh no I scratched this person's car but I don't know whose car it is but but my daddy said that as long as I tell them I'm sorry they can't be mad so I'm going to leave him a note telling them I'm sorry there I'm sorry now he can't be mad so if you could just give me the money to help out my friend I promise I'll pay you back dad why on Earth are you not answering your phone I see that it's right there Richard what are you doing here I drove all the way out to Port Town to tell you that you need to fire chives fire chives why because I wanted to go out on the yacht today but he said no because it was going to be raining or something now now Richard you know that you can't go out on the yacht while it's raining cuz it could get choppy speaking of choppy chives also burnt my pork chop this morning so you need to fire him well Richard we're not going to have this conversation right now you need to go home and just deal with it I hate you dad I hate you too son I wish I had a new dad but he was still Rich Richard go home oh I hate you dad I want a new dad kids huh Mario yeah kids mhm oh I hate my dad what is that son of a biscuit so the answer is no Mario I'm not going to give you money so you can bail your friend out of jail okay Dad Dad Dad the weird kid with the blue helmet he wrecked my Lamborghini he did what what did Jeffy do I'm going to go check my car to see if he hit my car son of a biscuit Mario come outside right now okay what's the problem Goodman H what I'm sorry you're sorry you better be more than sorry sorry doesn't fix my door no I wasn't saying I'm sorry I was reading I'm sorry oh so you're not sorry well I didn't do this Jeffy did oh okay well since you're the parent you're still going to fix this well look Jeffy didn't know what he was doing I told him that as long as he told he was sorry after he did something wrong that everything would be okay okay so you didn't teach your kid not to key cars well he probably didn't know how to say he was sorry for for doing that I don't even know what that is Mario well look look look maybe it'll buff out H buff out all right let's try that oh look at that Mario not buffing out okay at least give me a chance to fix it oh yeah you will fix it cuz if you don't fix it I'm going to take everything you own I'm going to take your house I'm going to take your car I'm going to take your hat you know what Mario give me the Hat Now give me the Hat you'll get this back when my door's fixed so no more hat for you no Jeffy Jeffy why why did you have to wreck Bo their cars why daddy I'm going to be honest with you I don't even know what I was doing I was just swerving next thing you know boom hit the car Jeffy you have to go fix it because I can't get my hat back until you fix it well Dad just wear your spare hat oh yeah I forgot I have more than one hat well look Tiffy you're going to go outside and you're going to fix that car all right Danny I can fix it easy peasy yeah you better fix it easy peasy all right Jeffy fix it already on it Daddy Jeffy that's a sharpie yeah it's like magic just watch this Jeffy that looks bad it's not working oh hold on dadd almost done do a little bit this get down here yeah Jeffy that looks really bad daddy come back in 2 minutes and we'll be good okay I trust you all right Jeffy it's been 2 minutes how's it going it looks beb Jeffy does that look BB it looks colorful it's supposed to be black well Danny I ran out of black down here so I decided to make that I'm sorry all pretty pretty it's not pretty pretty it's not supposed to be colorful Goodman is not going to accept this well Daddy a colorful I'm Shari is better than a not colorful I'm sari and a black car looks better with with black doors and not colorful I'm sarry ke in the side of it jimy well Danny I ran out of black okay Goodman is not accept this he cannot see this look let's go inside and try to think of another way to fix this come on all right all right Jeffy we have to find a way to fix Goodman's car hey Mario did you fix my car yet I mean well I mean kind of not really wait hold on Mario how' you get your hat back give me that well that's my second hat not anymore it's my second hat well look why don't we just go through car insurance you have that I thought you were too poor well no I have car insurance all right well let's just do that then I guess really yeah you're still not getting your hat back it's my hat well what about the money for my friend okay well I mean at least we got that problem fixed hello did you forget about me no black y I didn't forget about you but I don't think I can bail you out of jail why didn't he just say sorry Daddy oh man man my house payment is due today and I don't have the money to pay it why am I so poor panda panda panda panda panda panda eating Cheetos drinking Fanta make it snow call me Santa eat green beans you know Cana what Jeffy what are you doing oh I'm just listening to music on my new beach by Jeffy headphones well Jeffy uh Daddy needs a loan so do you think you can loan me some money since you have all those merch sales sure daddy how much money you need $800 daddy you know what they call me in school what they call me the plug the MF and plug daddy boom there's your $800 you know what that is that's paper does paper grow on trees yes it does it's right here drip drip drip drip drip oh thank you Jeffy for the drip oh don't thank me Daddy thank mini me what Mini Me yep he's a middl man Daddy he makes Dirty Money clean and this money right here is dirty Daddy it's been through a lot of dirty cracks I'm not talking about sidewalks I'm talking it rhymes with potholes I'm not talking about mini golf well well Jeffy thank you for the money and I'm going to go pay uh my house payment daddy make sure you wash that money twice cuz they don't wipe oh thanks Jeffy oh that must be good man thank you Jeffy uh hello hey Mario it's my time of the month what do you know who Anna is Anna Anna period and I'm on a period in my life where I need your house payment well I actually have my house payment this month bull feal no no I really do have it Mario if you actually have your house payment this month I will rip my left nipple clean off my body well you don't have to do that oh but I'd love to Mario it would be my pleasure like Chick-fil-A okay well um here it is you actually have your house payment you hear that little fella you're gone you are evicted clean off my chest this is what happens when you're a betting man Mario and next month when you see me I'll be the one nipple man see you next month Mario bye yes yes the house payment was paid on time for the first time ever thank you so much Jeffy yeah no problem Daddy but now I'm broke as a joke you're broke as a joke yep you took all my money well I took all your money yep what type of Father am I I have to take all my son's money to pay my bills what are we going to eat for this month I don't have any more money well Daddy we can always eat the squishy Taco Jeffy you can't eat that it's a taco Daddy no it's a toy Jeffy you can't eat it it's not real but Dad you throw my taco we have to find a way to make some more money to get by this month well Daddy we can always go on the corner and sling some you know what no we're not going to do that Jeffy you I just need to sit down and think and uh watch some TV yeah's let's just relax you know hey there does your kid want to be in a commercial well you're in luck green beans are looking for a new spokesperson you know ever since the Jolly Green Giant got in trouble for whipping his string bean out in front of some ladies but your kid could be in every green bean commercial for the next 10 years and maybe even make millions of dollars so if you think your kid has what it takes to act in the commercial just bring them on down an audition today ooh Jeffy Jeffy look look look all you have to do is be in that commercial and you get get paid a lot of money um one problem Daddy I don't like green beans well I know that Jeffy but if you're acting you can act like you like green beans right well if we're acting we can act like you're not bald give my hat back look come on do it for us come on we need the money all right Daddy yeah come on well let's go I know you get the part I know you will you're a good actor all right everybody quiet on the set everybody ready I know I am I got my coffee right here you know I like my coffee like I like my women hot and black what you heard me all lives matter all right who wants to go first hey hey I was wondering if uh maybe possibly my son could go first huh okay and also you know guarantee me that my son will get this acting job well are you going to give me money for that well I just gave you a five well no you gave me a five so your kid could go first here is that a $1 bill yeah that would be $6 yes that's a lot of money you want to give me $6 so your kid could get on a commercial that could potentially make him millions of dollars yeah hey does anybody have $7 so they can out bid this guy you just you just hold on to that and you know uh make it happen how about you just stop trying to bribe me and then let your kid win fair and square you know I was going to let your kid go first anyway there's only two kids auditioning there's only two kids auditioning yeah well then can I have my my $6 back no no go get your kid all right Jeffy just sit right there and look handsome okay you don't have to tell me twice Daddy I'm a sexy beast all right Jeffy we're filing a green beans commercial so I'm going to need a lot of energy out of you okay all right and action oh oh cut cut sorry I forgot to tell you what to do that's my bad all right when I say action I want you to take a big old bite of green beans and then say who needs dank memes when you got a plate full of green beans see it Rhymes dank memes yeah we're trying to get kids to eat they green beans and kids love memes all right let's try this and action these green beans taste like what's on your cup what's on my cup what oh poop no cut cut cut no you can't say the green beans taste like poop well they do okay let's just try something else all right uh when I say action just look at the green beans and say these green beans taste great okay let's try that and action these green beans taste like a grape but no cut cut not grape great grape great grape great great the green beans taste great grap the green beans taste like a grape no no okay okay let's let's let's try something different all right now just look at the green beans when I say action and say these green beans taste awesome okay and action these green beans taste like AUM cut cut not a possum no awesome posum awesome posum no okay okay okay let's try something else let's try something else okay now when I say action look at the green beans and just say these green beans taste delicious okay I think we can do that all right and action these green beans taste suspicious no no cut cut no you can't say they taste suspicious you make it sound like you don't like them I don't like them okay we're done here get get out no please don't quit on him like he's just really nervous like give him something easier to do easier okay okay this is the easiest thing I can think of Jeffy okay just just look at the green beans and say m okay let's let's try this and action M no cut cut cut you can't say m you got to say m like like the good okay but they're not good okay and action- okay no this this is not going to work out no no no come on give give him something easier okay okay all right this this is even easier all right just just look at the green beans and say these green beans are yummy okay just just please do that and action these green beans are yucky cut cut all right this is not working get get out of here no no no please give another chance Mario get your kid out of here go you have to give us another chance no okay I'm going to try the other kid first all right just go all right Patrick now when I say action I want you to say boy oh boy do I love green beans and then take a bite okay and action oh my God I love green beans they're so crazy cut cut cut oh my God that was beautiful that was amazing that was a masterpiece oh my God we found our green bean kid wait wait wait wait wait wait wait a wait a minute I I have I have another five let my son try again uh but but this kid's perfect he's a natural and he loves green beans well that was just a beginner's luck my my son is better than that kid and just let my son try again and you'll see what true acting looks like all right fine go get your kid all right listen Patrick you got the job but for some reason I'm going to let this other kid try again just just go wait outside okay Jeffy you're going to sit right there and do everything the nice director says okay all right n okay Jeffy all I need you to do is eat one green bean okay just one green bean but I don't like green beans he doesn't like green beans oh he's going to like green beans and he's going to eat them okay action hey hey I'm the director I say action and [Music] action Jeffy you eat it right now eat it right now Jeffy put in your mou sh eat it right now all right he's not going to eat it this is he's going to eat it he's a five you're going to run out of fives eventually Jeffy put it in your mouth Jeffy put stick it in your chew it chew it right now I don't think hey hey hey hey hey I don't think he's going to do it okay give him something else to do something else to do please okay okay tell you what if your kid eats that entire plate of green beans I'm talking makes the whole plate disappear then he can be the green bean kid oh Jeff Jeffy Jeffy look just eat all the green beans or make make make it all disappear here please you'll become the greeny kid please just do this for Daddy do this for Daddy okay action and action Abracadabra all right that's it no no no he made the plate disappear no get out of here it doesn't matter get out of take your kid and get out of here oh go God Jeffy wow Jeffy wow all you had to do is eat one green bean just one green bean and we'd become rich but no you just couldn't do that well Daddy would you want to suck a fart through a straw what that's what you're asking to do if you wanted me to eat that green bean Jeffy those are two different things well Daddy give me a straw cuz I'd rather suck a fart Jeffy Jeffy you know all you have to do was eat a green be it was so simple oh look D it kids commercials on oh man I sure do love eating green beans it's like eating boogers but my mommy doesn't yell at me I sure wish I had some more green beans it's raining green beans that's so crazy thanks Mother Nature Daddy I don't know how he did that Jeffy it was so easy it was so simple all you had to do is eat it that's all you had to do but no you couldn't do that and now we're poor how are we going to make money now well Danny we always got our myrr our M Yeah ourr the speech is my recital I think it's very vital to rock a rhyme that's right on here we go It's Tricky do rock a run do rock a run that's Rock On Time It's Tricky Tricky Tricky Tricky Tricky ml merch.com go buy it right now go buy it go buy it buy it buy it buy it

Channel: Dr. Junior

Views: 456,747

Keywords: sml, sml reuploaded, sml jeffy, sml marathon, smlytp, sml old videos, sml reaction, sml movie, sml ytp, sml animated, sml archive, sml alien, asml, asml movie, sml bowser jr, sml cody, sml chef pepe, cool cody sml, sml drama, dr junior, sml movie 2023, new sml movie 2023, sml movie jeffy 2023, a new sml movie, every sml movie from 2023, sml new movie 2023, best small movies of 2023, sml movies 2022, jeffy's, all jeffy videos, animation jeffy, a new jeffy

Id: aKSV5jsytwQ

Length: 212min 19sec (12739 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 23 2023