SML Movie- Jeffy's Halloween!2023- Full Episode

all right boys I'm headed to the grocery store do you need anything oh get pizza rolls and mommy can you give me some more crayons no Jeffy you don't need any more crayons you have 120 right there but Daddy these crayons are expired how are they expired because they don't taste good they're not supposed to taste good they're crayons Jeffy but Daddy if you're you're not supposed to eat them then why is this one called macaroni and cheese it tastes nothing like macaroni and cheese it's not supposed to taste like macaroni and cheese Jeffy that's the color of macaroni and cheese it's the name of the color it's not candy well okay if it's not candy Daddy then why is this one called cotton candy it literally has candy in the name because it's the color of cotton candy it's the name of the color you're not supposed to eat crayons they're not good for you okay well if they're not good for you then why is this one called Granny Smith apple it tastes more like granny Smith's butt because it's a crayon Jeffy Granny Smith Granny Smith apples are green and that's the color of green all right well then let me go out on a limb here and say that this one right here called wild strawberry doesn't taste anything like strawberry it's not going to taste like strawberries they're crayons you're not supposed to eat them Jeffy all right well then you're just going to sit here and let me eat expired crayons they're not EXP fire you're not supposed to eat him Jeffy mommy do something about him Jeffy I will buy you some crayons at the store thank you Mommy and Daddy if I had a middle finger i' be showing it hey Daddy when's your mommy going to be back with my crayons I'm starting to get hungry Jeffy you're not going to eat the crayons and she is taking a long time let me call her and see where she's at all right Jeffy it's ringing F yeah Daddy hey baby hey are you on your way home yet Jeffy stop it yeah I'm on the way to the car right now no you're coming with me come on come on what's going on baby why are you screaming what's happening oh no Jeffy I I think she's been taken get it we have to call the cops something something happened to Mommy hello hey there you call the cops yes officer it's awful I was on the phone with my girlfriend and she started screaming oh tell me about it my wife is always screaming at me just yak yak yak yak yak right in my ear all day no no no she started screaming at me and then she dropped the phone and disappeared oh lucky I wish my wife would just drop the phone and and disappear you know instead she's got to yell at me all day like hey guy did you know you left the lights on in the kitchen you're going to jack up the electric BT and I'm like I pay the electric bill Karen of course I know no no no this is serious I think someone took my wife oh lucky I wish somebody would take my wife you know just take her away forever and save me some trouble no no I need your help well why help with what celebrating celebrating I don't want to celebrate I want you to help me find my wife okay fine where did you last see her well she she said she was going to the grocery store which one I don't know she just said she was going to the grocery store just a grocery store okay I'll check every grocery store in town then okay no no no I'm not going to do that that's ridiculous well then how are we going to find her I don't know uh do you track her location on your phone or something no we don't share locations oh lucky man my wife is always tracking my location she's like guy why are you stopped at that red light guy why are you at the police station are you cheating on me I'm like no Carol I work at the police station okay what do we do how do we find her okay I'm going to tell you what you do you celebrate because she's gone forever you're free you're free enjoy your life go party me I got to go get back to my ugly wife you you're free enjoy it what do I what do I do shut up back there all right boss I got the girl what's next stop right there oh no it's super big D aha windshield wipers his only weakness sorry about that boss super big D showed up and tried to stop me but I took care of him you can't get rid of me what hey little lady super big D you saved me I always do now let's take you home oh my hero oh man the cops didn't do anything what am I going to do whoosh now you're home safe and sound baby Mario baby are you okay yes he saved me wait who's this guy Mario this is my ex-boyfriend's super big de nice to meet you little man super big D yeah I started dating him after super D come on baby let's not talk about trash you know I'm bigger than him why are you called super big D look I don't even know myself she started calling me that one day after I got out of the shower she's like hey super big D I'm like no my name is pry why are you missing a leg Mario that's rude don't worry baby I'll tell him you see this girl right here I gave her every inch of me and I would give an arm and a leg for her and I literally gave a leg she was tied to a railroad track and I tried to save her but right before I left a train ripped it off so now I'm missing a leg it's okay Mario he has two more yeah yeah I do they used to call me tripod in high school well what happened tonight Mario I was leaving the grocery store headed to the car when someone grabbed me and threw me in the trunk of their car luckily super big D came and saved me yeah I came all right I came as fast as I could like I wasn't even thinking about me it was all her like my mind was focused on her I came in second yeah well you can leave wait wait wait who are you I'm her husband wait husband you're married freaky freak the freakiest girl in the world settle down can't be well yep yep she settled down she's married so you can leave wait wait wait this this is incredible it this can't be because she's a freak the thing she did oh oh God okay leave leave you can leave thank you for saving her it was really nice to meeting you you can leave I just want to tell you one more time you're lucky I'm talking about lucky okay lucky yes I I sure am you can leave leave okay well if you need me to come again I'll be here whenever you need leave Mario what are you doing filing for a divorce Mario stop it I can't do with your ex-boyfriends anymore that was so long ago his name is super big D what's next super massive huge long D but I'm married to you average I mean Mario Jeffy what are you doing I'm looking for a new crayon to eat stop eating your crayons all right well would you rather me break them instead what what whoops stop breaking your crayons whoops stop breaking them that one slipped stop it all right dang it well there's 120 of them in here so I'll be here all day stop it would you rather me eat them or break them neither all right eat them a dis baby can you get him something to eat oh no I'm not leading the house again today I'm traumatized me too I saw super big D what what's going on Mario I think he's choking on a crayon why are you eating the Crayons Jey he help help someone help hey babe heard you calling for me what do you want me to do to you I want someone to help me sa my son he's choking on a crayon okay but what do you want me to do to you though I heard you screaming so I came as fast as I could and then I came here super big D what are you doing here wait super tiny D what are you doing here okay it's super D all right get that right look nobody cares I came here because she was screaming and when she screams like that she's screaming for some super big D boys boys help me say my son shut up I think you should leave no you leave well you want to fight bro no we can fight we can fight fight get out of here get out of here stop it stop it stop it wait wait are those divorce papers wait you're getting divorced dibs dibs I call Di no no I want di I said it first whatever look how about we let her choose what you want some super tiny D in your life or you need some super big D I want someone to save my son they have two legs look I got two legs oh you want to fight look we can this in a hallway we can fight how about that oh that sounds good for let's do it well let's do it superhero fight all right let's fight winner gets the girl let's shake on it cheap shot owie all right that's going to cost you what this well watch out for what yeah well all right you're strong you are too I work out yeah I can see that you have really nice abs thank you you do too thanks you mind if I touch them sure if I can touch yours oh yeah of course oh oh man those are ni those are really oh what's going on oh hold on I'm feeling something here [Music] wait this isn't right hey look at those cuffs ooh nice cuffs no no no no stop that hurts that's not fair look and no weapons we can't use weapons no knives either yeah okay you're right you're right we have to use our Fist and our sexy bodies bro like why are we doing this I don't know I mean look at us we we're ripped girls would love us yeah yeah they would yeah why are we fighting over one chick you want to get a milkshake or something you know what I want to get a milkshake okay bro let's get a milkshake you know bro this could be the start of a beautiful friendship no more than friends yeah ooh uh what just happened I don't know Mario but look at Jeffy he's not moving okay we have to call a doctor someone that will really help him hey Le somebody call a doctor yes doctor my son choked on a crayon what flavor what do you mean what flavor what flavor crayon hurry up this is an emergency how do I know what flavor what color what flavor Hur up it it might have been macaroni and cheese macaroni and cheese that is a delicious crayon but only when it's fresh though crayons don't taste like anything they taste like crayons oh man he's got 12 120 crayons oh you could feed a village with this many crayons are you going to save my son or not well I'm not going to give melt to melt to a boy cuz that's icky and also it says in my fre up I'm not allowed to cheat on my wife well you're not going to be cheating on your wife you're going to be saving my son I don't know that's kind of iffy but I'll see what I can do hold on oh let's reach in here oh oh that's gross oh that is really gross oh oh hold on I think I got it mac and cheese oh and it's still fresh too I want to take this as payment oh Jeffy you're okay thank God you're okay did you learn your lesson not to eat crayons yeah Daddy but you just better feed me good food from now on we'll make you real macaroni and cheese and now you my other problem are there any more ex-boyfriends have to worry about well I didn't say that Mario what other ones are there um a couple a couple like like any more with the name with with the letter D in them I don't know why is your voice getting higher I don't know Jeffy are you ready to go trick or-treating I sure am Danny I got my Mickey Mouse costume on Jeffy that's a monkey costume Danny why aren't you in your booger costume because I don't want to be a booger for Halloween Jeffy Danny you put that booger costume on right now and you get in my nose so I can pick you well je Jeffy look I don't want to dress up for Halloween I'm snot going to put it on that snot not funny daddy oh okay he says it now it's hilarious daddy you put that booger costume on right now or I'm going to take a dump in my costume we just bought it Jeffy that was expensive costume I'm going to take a front dump it's going to come out like play spaghetti Jeffy please I just don't make me put it on okay okay Jeffy look I'll put it on just for a little bit okay stop it all right Jeffy I put on my booger costume raw oh you're a scary booger daddy you're like the type of Booger that gets stuck on your finger and you can't flick it off and then you got to get a paper towel well Jeffy let's just hurry up and go trick-or treating so I can take this stupid costume off daddy you look like a rapper you look like you're about to drop the hottest mixtape of 2019 give me some bars but bars I don't got bars Jeffy sure you do Danny I'll drop you a beat Jeffy I can't R yes you can Danny just give me some bars I Got the Beat okay uh yeah uh homies dogs and all that uh yeah I'm a booger your girl you know I took her I brought her to my house and she gave me a lot of sugar hey bars d straight bars all right daddy my turn give me a beat a beat a boo a CH a a a yeah I see you in the back who you talking to no don't you dad keep the beat going I got it ab ab yo I'm Mickey Mouse I took your girl to my house and then she playing with my mouse all right Jeffy that was really good no daddy bring the beat back bring your beat [Music] back hello this is a public service announcement from your local Police Department about Halloween this year we went trick-or-treating earlier tonight and we made some very disturbing discoveries now look right here this just looks like a regular Snickers right looks pretty good but then when I opened it up it's full of thumb tacks just Chuck full of thumb tacks you can't eat those and look at this Reese's this looks delicious nice big king-sized Reese's but when you open it up boom more like King siiz thumb TXS cuz it's just full of thumb TXS this isn't safe all right so if you have a kid I would not recomend recommend going trick-or-treating this year and and and also also I heard reports that kids kids out there are getting um napped okay so I I just wouldn't go trick-or-treating at all if I were you but uh I I am going to go trick-or-treating later but but that's just to make sure it's safe you know I'm going to going to hit all those good houses okay so so just stay home don't go trick-or-treating okay just just let me do it all right thank you Jeffy Halloween is dangerous this year you know what we're not going trick-or-treating we're going to stay inside the house and pass out candy no daddy no that is that that is not fair I know it's not fair Jeffy but but the world's not the same as it was a few years ago you can't walk outside without offending someone so look we're going to stay inside and pass out candy and we can eat our own candy but Daddy you bought the gross candy I didn't buy the gross candy you bought candy corns who eats that freaks I like candy corn cuz you're a freak daddy you shouldn't be allowed to breathe our air our non- candy corn eatting air come on Jeffy let's just go pass out candy and help no don't you touch me you old freak has nothing to do with the candy come on I I I don't have you do have to come on Jeffy come on all right Jeffy here's the Candy Corn that we're going to pass out to the trick-or-treaters dadddy you're disgusting Jeffy candy corn is really good daddy let me show you how you're supposed to eat candy corn wa Jeffy stop it that's for the trick-or-treaters I'm doing them a favor daddy well Jeffy come on let's just grab it out of the trash can they won't notice e come on Jeffy come on no more throwing the candy corn in the trash Jeffy well that's where it belongs daddy Jeffy this is what's going to happen they're going to knock on the door we're going to say happy Halloween and they're going to give them some candy corn and that's it Oh Daddy what's your money for that's my house payment this month at the end of the month so my house payment is due so whenever Goodman comes to the door I can finally pay it on time so do not touch this money okay only the candy all right B oh our first trick-or-treaters come on Jeffy let's do it uh hello trick or treat happy Halloween wait who you supposed to be Trayvon no I'm a booger ew I'm a naughty nurse you want me to take your temperature hey hey guess who I is my mind's telling me no but my body my body is telling me yeah he's a zebra yeah sing is zebra Now give me a cand all right Jeffy hit him with the corn hit him with the corn yeah hit him with the corn all right hey hey I'm already doing 25 years don't make it life what you jack why' you throw corn at him you said hit him when the corn that means give them the corn well why you just say that Daddy here's your garbage what candy corn you're disgusting man where's the white people candy at white people candy uh duh you know like the fulls size [ __ ] family siiz Reese's you know Twix the white people candy yeah Rolexes yeah all that we don't we don't have any white white people candy wow we come to a white people neighborhood and they don't have no white people candy can you believe this baby the world well living in it's a shame I don't want to live in this world no more come on baby all right Jeffy come on wait daddy why are you taking off your booger costume because I told you I didn't want to wear it for a long time so I wore it for a little bit and it's hot so I'm taking it off daddy you're a bad booger you get in the corner you bad booger Jeffy there's someone at the door get get the corn ready it's ready Daddy all right let's go hello happy Halloween trick or treat smell the ow hit him with the corn Jeffy no more hit him with the corn Oh I thought that's want doing no no no you place the corn in his bucket I'm so sorry about that sir yeah I'm just going to go ahead and finish my song uh trick or treat smell the feet I don't have cuz I'm a puppet give me something good to eat candy all right Jeffy now play some candy gently in his bucket all right n wait wait is that candy corn yeah yeah yeah don't bother don't why' you do that okay uh you don't like candy corn no I actually saw some rocks out here I'd rather eat instead all right well have a nice Halloween I like your costume oh yeah I dressed Dred up as my favorite video game character I see you dressed as him too what oh oh no mine's not a costume the I'm the real Mario yeah yeah I get it we wore the same costume yeah no no no mine's not a costume these are real clothes I'm the real Mario I I mean I get that your mustache looks a little better than mine but I think my costume actually looks better I think the real Mario actually wore these clothes well no no I I've never wore that in my life I'm the real Mario I would know that's a costume okay whatever man it's just a costume it's just it's just make believe you're taking it to a series no no no no but I am the real Mario uh-huh yeah whatever all right Jeffy come in come inside okay Jeffy the next person that rings on the doorbell do not throw candy corn at them daddy if you say hit them with the corn they're getting hit with the corn well they're not getting hit with the corn because we're not going to say that we're going to say hand them the corn so hand them the corn you know that all right daddy well I got to go to the bathroom I got to take a rocking number two wa you're not going to use the bathroom in your costume like you always do no promises there daddy all right there's another trick-or-treater I'm taking this one solo hello happy Halloween trick strus what Church's Chicken Black Yoshi you can't go trick-or-treating at the house you live in you live here but I want some candy black Yoshi what are you supposed to be anyway a watermelon no I'm the seed in the watermelon the seed in the watermelon yeah you're supposed to take me out and plant me and then I grow into a big mood Moodus all right black Yosi look here's some candy corn ew you don't want this no I want some money like people don't give out money on Halloween oh what about the cudas doas no Call of Duty what about the coest dud this movies well I don't know what that is like look look go to other houses I'm a house RS well they get inside the house come on no more trick-or-treating for you all right Daddy I'm all done in the bathroom we're all out of toilet paper oh you Ed all the toilet paper no we just didn't have any all right well I'm going to go use the bathroom next okay so if there if there's a trick or- treat if if there's if there's any more trick-or-treaters you you hand them the candy okay hit him with the corn no no hit them with no h hit him with the corn I have to use the bath I'll be right back happy Halloween trick or tweet SM my feet give me something good to eat I'm Spider-Man but I lost my mask but I'm not the Tom Holland Spider-Man or the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man I'm the Toby Maguire Spider-Man but specifically the Spider-Man from Spider-Man 2 where he fights the octopus fella oh well you want some corn I don't like candy corn me either my daddy sucks anyway why don't you take all this money right here and go buy you some good candy thanks Mr I'm going to go buy a whole bunch of candy okay see you later all right Jeffy I'm back from the bathroom how was that trick-or-treater oh it was Spider-Man Daddy but without his mask oh that's cool Jeffy look Jeffy what where did the money go what money the money that was right here the money right here that was for my health payment oh promise you won't get mad Daddy I'm already mad well then I'm not going to tell you if you're already mad you better tell me Jeffy where did that money go all right Daddy to be honest I'm game to Spider-Man why would you give Spider-Man my house payment money so he can buy better candy cuz this candy tastes like hot garbage better candy that was $11,000 what candy cost $11,000 the good candy Daddy chy what am I going to do when Goodman comes here for my house payment he probably won't even show up Daddy what if that's him what if that's him I don't think it is let's check it 10 we to close the door what am I going to do what am I going to do oh he won't stop ringing the doorbell oh okay okay okay look Jeffy you don't want to see this go hide go hide uh hello I'm the Cat in the Hat there's no doubt about that I'll take your house payment here or there I'll take your house payment anywhere on a bus or a plane or a car or a train are you going to keep rhyming I try to rhyme every time I talk so give me a tape measure so I can measure my stop stop stop stop stop suck I was going to say suck okay well look Goodman I I don't really have the house payment well I'm in do the clock is ticking Tick Tock you have 1 hour to give me your house payment or I'll hit you in the head with a rock look Mario this rhyming thing's hard okay well look look look I had your house payment and it was sitting right here on the table and then my son Jeffy gave it to a trick-or-treater instead of candy well Mario I didn't know you were handing out house payments as trick-or treat candy cuz in that case trick-or treat good look I'm going try to find the the person who has the money and I'll bring it back to you okay all right I'll wait in your house and I'll be as quiet as a mouse unless you come back with no money cuz then I'll be mad that that didn't rhyme but okay Jeffy yeah Daddy all right Jeffy you're going to ride with me and you're going to help me find the Spider-Man kid that you gave my money to okay all right Daddy all right you remember what he looks like so come on all right all right Jeffy where's this kid at oh he's right there and Daddy hey Spider-Man which one what do you mean which one which actor Jey which actor um octopus whoever played the octopus that was alred Molina he wasn't a Spider-Man he was a bad guy well I I I don't know which actor Jeffy which actor I don't even know um uh Andrew Garfield NOP that's the wrong Spiderman uh who's the new one Tom Holland no not him either what's that other guy Toby Maguire oh okay yeah you want some more candy oh yeah okay yeah look look I have a bunch of candy back at my house so if you just get in the truck we can go get some more candy but my mommy said not to talk to strangers yeah but but I'm not a stranger I'm just trying to give you some more candy my candy let's go let's go drive Daddy Drive oh come on it's got to be in here somewhere Mario I do not want candy I want my house payment I I know and I promise you it's in this bucket is it oh look there it is I found it wow you were telling the truth oh and look a Baby Ruth I'll see you next month Mario okay oh my gosh I'm so glad I found the money and I was able to pay my house payment that could have gotten bad oh that must be more trick-or-treaters I'll just give him this candy happy Halloween take whatever candy you'd like did you steal this kid's Halloween candy uh uh no that's my candy right there you stealing candy from a little boy on Halloween you're a monster look look I needed it more than he did why you're a grown man just buy some candy for yourself oh I forgot you like candy corn oh that's the real crime here well no no there was money in here I needed the money oh so it it's just a regular robbery then no no no it it was my money my son G gave him money instead of candy I had to get it back and you couldn't just ask him for the money back well I I guess I could have just done that yeah you could have just give him the candy we'll forget this ever happen here's your candy back I can't grab that I don't have hands right now I'll just put it on your neck it's not going to work Chief all right look I'm still going to write you a ticket for that candy Corin I'll accept that all right guys are you ready to go trick or Tri reading Mo Joo JoJo Cody who are you supposed to be I'm Mo Joo JoJo who's that you know from The Powerpuff Girls he he's like a monkey what's his name Mojo Jojo that's his name yeah oh dude I'm curious George Joo you can't just put on a shirt and say it's a costume look dude I went to the Goodwill and found this shirt in the basket so I'm curious George now all right so you guys are both monkeys yeah well I'm poir yeah I can see that yeah he's really cool he's not a monkey yeah yeah he's a Pokémon dude I know he's not a monkey though so you guys ready to go trick-or-treating or not well actually my mom says I can't go trick-or-treating cuz some Maniac is out there putting thumbtacks in all the candies oh dude awesome I love thumb TX so you can't go trick-or-treating no okay I guess we going to sit here and not go trick-or-treating then but the th tag Marvin can we please have a Star Wars movie marathon where we watch all 11 movies there's 11 Star Wars movies yeah Marvin you have to start with Phantom Menace attack of the Clones revenge of the sits solo Rogue one A New Hope Empire Strikes Back return turn of the Jedi force awaken Last Jedi rise a Skywalker okay fine we can try to watch all those movies but I can't guarantee I'll stay awake during all of them yes stop it Jeffy stop it we're trying to watch a movie stop it knock it off I wonder what's going to happen next I can tell you what's going to happen next we've seen this movie like 50 times I can tell you what's going to happen the dth Vader guys like the dad or something meow meow je me stop meow stop it Jeffy yeah I said stop it don't you dare do the diaper thing I don't want to see stop it Jeffy turn off the movie it's too loud Mor it's not too loud I can still hear the meowing that is it you are grounded why because we're trying to watch a movie why because we want to watch it why because we we can do that why stop it why who's at the door okay I you did door can Jeffy answer the door no Jeffy can't answer the door just stay here and keep beating on your cat piano hello hello sir is your name Marvin uh yeah why well my name is Mr Goodman and I'm the superintendent of your local school district and I was coming by to congratulate you on the adoption of your new son Jeffy no no no I did not adopt Jeffy he's just staying here until we find his parents the cops are looking for him but are you his legal guardian no I'm not no he just lives here and I watch over him until they find his parents so legal guardian and by law since you you are jeffy's legal guardian you're responsible that Jeffy knows every single subject on this piece of paper and I'll be coming by tomorrow to test him on it well what if I refuse to teach him all that stuff well if you refuse to teach him all this stuff and he fails the exam then you go to jail well go to jail I don't want to have to do all that well tough here I'll be back tomorrow what's that for Marvin I want you to shoot me in the head what why because this guy sh up at the door and said I have to homeschool Jeffy I'm going to go to jail and he says we have to teach him all this stuff his ABCs counted 10 math English art color and at least one sport well what's so hard about that meow meow meow oh just shoot me in the head it' be easier Marvin it'll be fine let's start with the ABCs Jeffy you ready to learn your ABCs I know animals my favorite animal is your carrot oh just shoot me in the head please Marvin it'll be fine come on Jeffy let's learn your ABC's all right Jeffy are you ready to learn your ABCs ABCs yes Jeffy you have to learn your ABCs by tomorrow our daddy Goes to Jail why cuz God hates me oh all right Jeffy A is for apple apple very good Jeffy A is for apple be Jeffy are you okay you scary bear on the car Jeffy it's not a real it's not a real bear it's on the car put it away put it away okay okay C is for cupcake cupcake very good Jeffy C is for cupcake this might be easy D it's a dog Jeffy dogs aren't scared put it away put put it away but that's an elephant what a fish what that's a goose a horse come on no more cards just get the Whiteboard and just ride out the alphabet maybe that won't scare them okay okay you're being ridiculous Jeffy all right Jeffy you're going to learn your ABCs using this whiteboard instead of the animal cards well I like the animal card no you didn't you screamed every time you saw an animal all right baby you can teach them okay Jeffy repeat after me a a b b c c d d e e oh that's that's going to take forever how about we sing the ABC song Hey Jeffy you want to learn a song I like songs okay listen to this ABC song that'll teach you to the ABCs A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V WX y yes Y and Z see now you know your ABC right yeah oh okay okay can you say your ABCs on your own yeah I can say them okay okay baby get rid of the board I don't want them cheating okay Jeffy say your ABCs Okay g YX w v u t h r q p o n m l k j i h g f e d c b a Jeffy you just said your ABC's backwards that's incredible that that that's more impressive than saying your ABC's just normally how did you do that oh I'm going to count that as he knows his ABCs because that's really impressive to say backwards so now we have to teach them how to count to 10 that's easy uh go get the Q cards for the one to 10 okay okay now Jeffy you're going to learn to count all right Jeffy are you ready to learn your numbers numbers yes Jeffy all you have to do is learn how to count to 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 see how easy that was one look just read the card try this one Jeffy train i w what no Jeffy Jeffy that's not the letter i that's the number one look there's one train that's the number one and that's the number one spelled out try again train one one yes Jeffy but you don't have to say everything on the car you can just say the number try this one Jeffy truck truck two two you could have just said two you don't have to say everything else just say the number duck duck duck goose 3 three just say the number Jeffy FL FL FL FL 44 he's doing so well Marvin but he doesn't have to say literally what's on the card he just have to say the number I know but he's doing really well here Jeffy try this one meow meow meow meow meow F five good job Jeffy no more cat piano but put that away you have to pay attention a all right Jeffy try this one next flow flour flour flour flow flow 66 Jeffy just say the number balloon balloon balloon balloon balloon balloon balloon 77 Jeffy you don't have to read everything just the number please crayon crayon crayon crayon crayon crayon crayon crayon eight eight Jeffy just the number ooo try this one Jes cupcake cupcake cupcake cupcake cupcake cupcake cupcake cupcake cupcake 99 last one tractor tractor tractor tractor tractor tractor tractor tractor tractor tractor t t all right we're done we're done no more no more Marvin I think he can do one more yeah I want another one no no we're done okay one more here you go bunny rabbit bunny rabbit bunny rabbit bunny rabbit bunny rabbit bunny rabbit bunny rabbit rabbit strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry strawberry straberry strawberry strawberry 5050 okay we're done was that the last one yeah I think it was Marvin Oh No More Hell okay okay okay all right Jeffy now that you learn to count to 50 count to 10 a b c d e n that's your alphabet okay look look I know someone in that stupid head you know how to count the 10 the lights are on no one's home but the security cameras at least picked up some of it okay look so let's move on to the next thing okay let's move on to math and English he doesn't need to learn English because he already speaks English every day so we just have to go on to math math yes math let's go learn some math oh yeah all right Jeffy now it's time to learn math and we're going to start with addition and I know math is really hard it's going to be really tricky but I promise if you just pay attention you'll get it all right baby get the first card okay Jeffy here you go all right Jeffy what is 2 + 2 um 74 what how'd you get 74 I pulled it out of my ass Jeffy where did you hear such language Danny taught me Marvin don't say Marvin like I'm his dad I didn't teach him that look Jeffy I really need you to try what is two plus two baby two what what do you mean baby two well you got a mommy two and a daddy two and they love each other very much and they had a baby too I would understand if you thought those two twos had a baby it would be two but but numbers don't have genders Jeffy so they they can't have babies so look 2 + 2 equal 4 how is it equal four the four looks nothing like the two unless the two two is adopted a four or if this two is cheating on this two with a four then maybe that would be three look numbers cannot cheat on each other numbers can't get married numbers can't have babies the answer is four 2+ 2 is four let's move on to a different card get a different one here you go all right Jeffy what is 0 plus 0 two what how is it two cuz they don't love each other on that card Jeffy no no no no no listen listen why is 2 plus 2 baby 2 but 0 plus 0 isn't baby 0o because actually in this weird world that you live in if 0 plus 0 equal baby 0 that would actually be the right answer because 0 + 0 is zero d I'm so confused cuz you're telling me 0 + 0 equals 0 but 2 + 2 doesn't equal baby 2 I don't understand okay 0 + 0 = 0 but 2 + 2 = 4 Daddy I am so confused I guess next you're going to tell me that 8 + 8 equal 16 or something that's right it does equal 16 daddy you're talking crazy I don't understand any of this okay how about this how about this okay just explain this to me how come 2 + 2 equal baby 2 but 0 + 0 equal 2 because they love each other on this card but they don't love each other on that card how can you tell the zeros don't love each other because there's not a heart on that card there's no heart on this card well D if you take this two and flip it around and put it next to this two it'll be a heart with a line underneath it he's a genius he's actually making sense he's a genius all right we're done with addition let's move on to subtraction maybe you're better with taking things away all right Jeffy now we're going to learn subtraction subtraction is when you take things away away like how you're taking years off my life with all this stress okay all right baby get the first card all right Jeffy here it is all right Jeffy what is 8 - 4 eight what how is it eight well cuz you have an eight up here and then you take away the four so the Eight's left so the answer is eight oh I see the confusion yeah I understand how that makes sense that if you take away the four it' be eight but no the answer is four how is it four the four is already taken off the card right there so all that's left is the eight well no Jeffy look two fours making eight we're not talking about two fours we already have one four right here and it's already subtracted so the answer is eight has a point Marvin I understand he has a point but 8 - 4 is four because it takes two fours to make an eight you remove one of the fours is eight stop bringing up two fours it's bad enough we got one right here and that one's already taking off so stop bringing up the four the four is gone so eight is left it the answer is four 8 - 4 is four it's not eight you have a four right here you take the four off the card so what's left eight eight exactly am I wrong yes how because 8 - 4 is four no it's not the four is gone you don't have another four to add to it stop bringing up to four you have a four it's gone you subtract a four it's gone eight is left yes eight is left but no it's it's four Jeffy 8 - 4 is four screw this helmet screw this pencil screw this diaper screw Einstein and screw Newton the answer is eight you take the four off the car and the answer is eight okay Jeffy fine f the answer is eight 8 - 4 is8 you got your way you know you're right the science is wrong all the Sciences are wrong all those people are wrong for for years and years and years everyone's been wrong 8 - 4 is 8 okay that is the official answer okay yep all right let's move on he knows math he's a genius at math he's a math genius so let's move on to art or something Marvin we need to go over English with him we we don't have to go over English you just heard him yell at us in perfect English right Marvin we're working on English next he does all right Jeffy now you're going to learn English and I know you already know how to speak English cuz you've been yelling at me all day in English but now you're going to learn phonics how to pronounce your words better all right bring me the card all right Jeffy say frog fog no see Jeffy you're saying it wrong you're saying fog you got to say frog fog no there's no W you're saying fog you got to say fog fog faga [ __ ] no that's not that's not you say you say frog but you know what I'm saying F FR frog you say frog frog F there's no W you're saying [ __ ] if you know what I'm saying why make me change it draw me a picture of what I'm saying [ __ ] frog okay let's try another one okay you whatever get another one all right say Gir wff GFF no it's not GFF it's giraffe GFF there's no D where's the D show me the D that's what she said where's the D it's giraffe GFF no it's giraffe GFF stop saying giraffe it's giraffe that's how I say it giraffe okay fine whatever just put it down you know you got that one Whatever ooh you'll like this one Jeffy why why no it's yoyo why why no no no no no no don't read the top read the B yoyo why why no Jeffy say yoyo why why no act like a like a cool gangster yo yo why why Marvin don't teach him that okay you know what fine you know you already know English I told you he already knows English he's a genius let's move on to the next thing here we go uh we got um uh art and coloring he he loves to color he loves Art's good at that yeah yeah let's go color with some crayons uh-oh look what we got here we got the next Picasso look at him go I car a bug yes you did and what's that did you stay inside the line Yay Jeffy yay Jeffy did a good boy yeah Jeffy did a good boy so we can knock off coloring off that so all we have to do is teach him at least one sport that's it h what about baseball no no no no baseball is too dangerous how about t-ball t-ball's yeah t-ball is really easy and no one will get hurt I like t-ball I I know you will you you love t-ball let's go learn t-ball all right Jeffy this is t-ball it's literally the easiest sport in the world anybody can play it see unlike baseball where someone throws the ball at you really fast this ball is just sitting on a te and no one's moving it so all you have to do is hit this ball with your bat team ball yeah yeah just hit this ball with that bat go close Jeffy oh Jeffy Jeffy get him a bigger bat okay I think if you have a bigger bat it might be easier for you to hit the ball oh here you go Jeffy careful there Slugger that's a big bat now try to hit the ball M no no no you got to hit the ball Jeffy what you hit it the wrong way you got to hit that way all right Jeffy hit the ball oh Marvin I'm so sorry that's the swelling gone down at all the doctor said my brain might Hemorrhage and you know what that would be just fine I'll get it I'll get it no let's let the injured guy go answer the door the guy the guy you know who got hit in the face with the baseball bat hello hey Marvin what the hell happened to you t-ball I didn't know t-ball was a contact sport it's not huh well anyway I'm here to administer Jeffy knock it off good boy anyway I'm here to administer jeffy's exam well he's going to fail it anyway so come inside well baby these are the last few minutes we get to spin together before I go to jail do you think he's going to pass pass Marvin no no I don't I don't think he's going to pass at all I don't think there's any chance he's going to pass he looks like he's concentrating over there oh he's concentrating well on that case Marvin stop it nope he did this while we were watching the movie Marvin you know better than that nope he does this all the time Marvin stop it okay fine he just does that all the time Marvin uh yes your son has finished testing now oh man can you give me a few minutes to say goodbye to my girlfriend I know I'm going to jail well I would like to say that your son passed with flying color he did I would like to say that but unfortunately over 90% of his exam was wrong oh no I'm going to jail would you mind explaining this to me oh not this again yeah 8 - 4 what is it Marvin it's four no it's not it's eight you see cuz you have an eight up here minus the four you take the four off the paper what is it eight eight eight is left so look Jeffy taught me this earlier 8 minus whatever number you have down here is always eight so if you're subtracting something from the bigger number up top top it's always going to be that bigger number down below and we're going to give him an honorary Harvard degree son is a genius a Harvard degree over that absolutely and we're going to be calling it jeffy's law of subtraction what that doesn't make any sense 8 - 4 is 4 no it's not you have eight up here take the four off the paper what's left eight eight exactly and it's just like that with any other equation but earlier it was 8 - 4 was 4 I don't care what it was earlier now it's 8 - 4 equals 8 you take the four off the paper always you always take the number that you're subtracting off the paper and it's going to be the bigger number that doesn't make any s stupid I don't care if it's stupid or not we're calling it jeffy's law of subtraction and we're giving your son your Genius son a honorary Harvard degree can you can you do me a favor can can you shoot me in the head with this gun sure daddy I sneaked and the snots hanging out of my nose I need you to grab it e Jeffy grab a tissue that's disgusting I'll try biting it well don't bite it Jeffy that's gross don't lick it Jeffy look we have to grab a tissue or something no Daddy I need you to pull it hurry oh this is so gross e thanks Daddy Jeffy that is disgusting look like you annoying me today what happened to your pencil oh I put it right here Daddy so I could sneeze wait it doesn't hurt your brain what brain that's right you don't have a brain look Jeffy you're annoying me I just want to have a relaxing day inside so go outside and do something fun oh like go around the neighborhood and take pictures the cat but holes and make a collage and put it on your refrigerator that's disgusting Jeffy don't CBC cat butt collage no Jeffy how about you go fishing in the lake fishing yeah yeah look look look at this here's a fishing pole Jeffy it's a Spider-Man pole daddy why youin got Spider-Man's pole you like it when he shoots his web you think that's hot Jeffy shut up just go outside and try to catch something in the lake if you catch something I'll give you a prize really daddy what's your prize I don't know you you have to catch something in the lake first to find out okay then he's never going to catch anything in that Lake there's no fish in it all right Little Fishies prepare to suck my [Music] pole oh man I guess the fishies aren't biting today oh what what is that oh P I think I got something I'mma reel you in you big [Applause] bastard what is that dy I caught jumped in dang dang dang I caught jump Daddy D wake up D I caught jump D look Jeffy what did you just do to me I wanted to show you what I caught Daddy Jeffy that's a jellyfish there's no way you caught a jellyfish in the lake well I did Daddy I'm like SpongeBob out here oh my God my face is so much pain call a doctor Jeffy call a doctor hey somebody call a doctor oh my God Jesus what happed your face oh my son put a jellyfish on my face and it stuck me ouch there that sucks yeah I get stung by a jellyfish one time I'm in so much pain please help hey hey hey if I'm going to listen to your story you have to listen to mine so I got stung by a jellyfish last summer yeah I remember it just like it was this summer but it was last summer I was at the beach with my wife Karen she was sunbathing and all the lifeguards thought she was a beached whale so they wanted to blow her up because that's what they do to beached whales and I was like no no no that's not a beached whale that's just my wife and I was making the sand castle and oh it was the coolest sand castle ever you should have seen it and then out of nowhere this huge wave comes and just wipes out my sand castle so I'm like [ __ ] ocean so I run into the water and I start throwing hay makers trying to teach that ocean a lesson but then the problem is I can't really swim too good and I get caught in a rip current so I get sucked out to see and the Lifeguard sees me but he can't swim either I mean what a terrible lifeguard what kind of lifeguard can't swim so I'm just out there drowning and I think I'm going to die so I'm looking for any way I can to save myself and then I see this jellyfish so I'm thinking oh I can just grab onto this jellyfish and ride them to shore so I grab onto the jellyfish's tentacles and he starts stinging the [ __ ] out of my hands so I'm like [ __ ] ass jellyfish and I start throwing hay makers and every time I hit the jellyfish he's just stinging me more and more and I'm in so much pain I'm getting stung by a jellyfish and I'm still drowning I'm like 5T Under Water by this point and then and then I see a scuba diver and he sees me and he puts his oxygen mask on me so I can breathe and he takes me back to Shore and I thank him and as I'm walking up the beach I step on a sea shell and I'm like [ __ ] sea shell so I start throwing hay makers and then every time I hit the I hit the sand it's just hurting my hands more and more and I'm realizing it's cuz that jellyfish stung me so then I go back into the ocean to find that [ __ ] jellyfish and then I go out there and the jellyfish pulls up in a box Chevy with all his buddies and they start kicking my ass and they're stinging me all over the place and one of them gave me a wet Wily sting right in the ear that hurt like hell so then I get stung up it's just a whole big problem and then finally I'm done at the beach and my wife won't even take me to McDonald's afterwards so yeah that's why I don't go to the beach anymore can you please help me I'm in so much pain were you even listening to my story yeah I was whatever look I need a lot of help my my face hurts do I have to tell you another jellyfish story cuz I have no no please please don't tell me don't worry it'll be quick so me and my wife were scuba diving off the coast of Australia right and then we come up on this big dark scary trench and my wife wants to go through the trench but I want to go over the trench cuz it's a scary trench I'm saying there has to be monsters in there so we decided to go over the trench and we see this cute little jellyfish and my wife names it squishy and she starts touching it and I'm like don't touch it it's a jellyfish and then next thing we know there's all these jellyfish all around us and then we're like surrounded by jellyfish we're in like a goddamn Forest of jellyfish and I'm like oh no what are we going to do we're going to get stung to death by all these jellyfish but then we realize we can get through the jellyfish by bouncing on top of them so then we start having like a jellyfish race to see who can get through the jellyfish Forest the fastest and I win obviously and then I look back and I see my wife and she's all tangled up in jellyfish tentacles getting stung so I'm like ah God I got to go back and get her so I go back and I'm getting stung by all the jellyfish and I get stung so much I black out and when I wake up I'm on the back of a sea turtle and he calls me jelly man because I took on the jellies and he's like you were like wo and I was like wo and I was like wait this is this is Finding Nemo this didn't happen to me this this happened in Finding Nemo damn it I got to stop doing that listen I'm in a lot of pain I don't have time for you to waste any more time my face hurts I got stung by this jellyfish can you please help me okay hold on let me get my phone so I can Google what kind of jellyfish this is all right let's look at this jellyfish yeah what kind of jellyfish is it oh my God no no no no oh God please no what what what my wife is cooking pot roast for dinner oh God that's so gross it's all chewy and disgusting what kind of jellyfish is this you know one time my wife cooked pot roast and I spent all day just chewing it just chewing and chewing and chewing I'm like why you got to be so chew you [ __ ] ass pot roast so I started throwing hay makers can you please find out what kind of jellyfish this is my face in so much pain oh right yeah I guess I'll just Google uh balls in jellyfish oh God ew don't Google that oh why would you even do that look at that e what's he doing to that jellyfish oh I don't know screenshot please find out what kind of jellyfish this is you're wasting so much time yeah you know what I actually know somebody who knows a lot about jellyfish I'll just call my buddy sponge Robert Square shirt hold on let me find his number all right it's ringing hello hey Robert it's me Brooklyn guy oh hey Brooklyn guy yeah well nothing's funny but listen I got this jellyfish here and I need you to tell me what kind it is o I love jellyfishing me and Patrick go all the time yeah I I didn't ask that but look it's a blue jellyfish that has balls in it have you ever tried fish jelly on a crabby patty it's so yummy yeah that does sound pretty yummy but can we please stay on track it's a blue jelly fish wait did you say a Blue Jellyfish that's no name Mr Krabs is going to put in a factory if you don't give them back okay you have been no help at all I'm sorry about that man listen you're a doctor for God's sake find out what kind of jellyfish this is what if I die oh oh you know what I bet we can take a picture of it and then post that picture on some kind of jellyfish form and maybe somebody will recognize it oh look somebody knows what it is what is it what is it it looks like it's the rare freshwater West Heimer blue tang accordion box jellyfish is it dangerous well it says here it's the most venomous jellyfish in the world venomous am I going to die uh 5 minutes after you get stung it can cause brain hemorrhaging and then your organs are going to shut down no no no okay is there any way to stop it is there a way to stop it say the only way to stop it is you have to pee on the wound pee on the wound no one is going to pee on my face I'll do it Daddy no no I'm not going to let anyone pee on my face I guess you're going to die then what I mean okay fine if anyone's going to do it I want you to do it you're a doctor me oh I would be honored you hear that Mrs Stevenson my third grade teacher I am somebody now I'm going to pee on a man's face well listen let's just hurry up and get this over with I just just do it okay what do you want to do it I'm excited now uh we're not going to do it on the couch oh yeah this is too nice of a couch to save your life on yeah we could just we can just do it in the bathroom all right lead the way piss face I'm I'm not that yet soon to be piss face oh listen is your pee at least clean uh I mean I got to warn you I drink a lot of sodas and eat a lot of asparagus so my pe's going to be stinky okay I I I don't I don't want to know that you shouldn't have told me me that listen let's just get this over with okay so we're in the bathroom okay I guess let's do it yeah just just just start just do it just get over with um can I shave first shave why do you got to shave well I haven't shaved in a while and I feel kind of gross down there I don't care I'm not going to be looking at it just just peel my face okay but like I'm a grower not a shower so can I get it started a little bit no no I I'm not going to be looking at that just just just hurry up and save my life can you at least close your eyes I don't want you looking at it I would close my eyes but my eyes hurt too bad to close them oh okay so how are we going to do this how about this how about you start peeing on the back of my head and then I'll turn around really quick it goes on my face you want me to pee on your back and your face I'm going to start charging at this point I just want okay how about this how about this how about this okay look I'll be down here by the bathtub you start peeing and you just turn real quick and aiming at my face H I don't know I think I'm going to get pee all over your bathroom I don't care just do it or or how about this I'll start the I'll start in the toilet uh I don't like that I know you're in there okay how about this how about this how about I leave the bathroom then you get in the toilet and then I come in and pretend I'm just peeing like normal and then I'll pee right on your face but I won't look at you I'll just stare up here okay okay I like that okay leave okay I'll do it oh man I sure do have to pee okay here I go oh God no this isn't going to work I definitely can't do it now you look like some kind of piss Goblin you just have supposed to do it you weren't even supposed to look yeah I know but I had to lift the seat and you were just there and it was creepy okay how are we going to do this like how about you just pee in a cup and throw it on my face no I think it has to be fresh out of my body does it say that on the website I don't know maybe I think so okay look okay we got to find a way to do this like um what if I just lay it on my back and just I pee it on myself I I don't I don't think so I think it has to be somebody else's pee why I don't know that just makes sense to me okay listen um oh man um you want to just do it in the shower yeah let's let's get in the shower and then once we're in the shower we'll feel better yeah okay we're in the shower let's do this okay let's do it why do you have your clothes off well I'm not going to have my clothes on in the shower you're not getting wet well this way it feels more normal like I'm just peeing in the shower okay then just hurry up and do it well maybe you should take your clothes off too what no no I don't need to take my clothes off well you're going to get pee all over them I don't care I just want you to save my life just hurry up and do it okay yeah why AR why aren't you doing it I don't have to go right now you don't have to go you just said you drink a lot of sodas I do but for some reason I can't go okay what can I do to make you more comfortable we got to hurry up and do this uh maybe if you pee your pants that'll help why would me peeing my pants help you pee cuz we're both peeing then it's not weird what are you fine we both need to pee at the same time look it'll help me pee just do it okay okay I'll pee my pants just go okay on three we'll both pee 3 2 1 I'm doing it I'm doing it well uh thank you for saving my life sure thing anytime man you know I actually kind of liked it I think I'm weirdly into it Jeffy you're going to get rid of this jellyfish cuz I don't want it stinging me cuz I don't want to get peed on again well I want to keep him daddy you're not keeping this jellyfish throw it back in the lake I don't care what you do with it just just get rid of it just just put it somewhere I don't care let's go back to the bathroom you know this actually kind of reminds me of this one time when the SML question popped [Music] up oh man I can't wait to get Marvin's house payment hey Daddy can me and Junior go on show and play with my balls what my socer ball oh yeah sure as long as you're playing with that ball and not something else all right daddy who's at the door oh hello hey Marvin Goodman what are you doing here well just like your period I come once the month so where's your house payment uh my house payment yep it's due on the same day every single month so where is it uh uh it's in my wallet okay where's your wallet oh where is that thing uh where's my wallet oh oh it's uh it's upstairs I have to go look for it all right cool I'll come help you come on buddy no no no I think I left it in here somewhere now where did your pesky wallet run off to I have no idea what are you looking for oh baby I lost my wallet and we can't find it anywhere oh it's right here oh thanks baby you're welcome now we should open it up and see if my house payments in there cuz you said it was oh wait a minute baby that's my old wallet what yeah you know I got a new wallet today remember um I don't remember having this conversation Mar baby I got a new wallet remember it it was purple with green polka dots and it plays a song when you open it no that shouldn't be hard to find yeah yeah so that's my old wallet Marvin I don't remember you getting a new wallet shut up I got a new wallet and I showed it to you today I said look at my new wallet it's National new wallet day I don't remember this look get that out of there okay listen watch uh let's let's look for my new wallet uh it could be it look check the cushions check you check in another room somewhere so you can stop talking fine look look underwear I don't see it all right Jeffy are you ready to kick the soccer ball hey Junior this guy left his keys in the car don't worry no one's going to steal it this is an upper middle class neighborhood I know Junior but I'm saying we should steal one what we'll go to jail Jeffy no Junior check this out how about we just hop in ride to McDonald's get us a couple Happy Meals come back he'll never know oh my God Jeffy that's a genius idea I know hop in I call shotgun I call AK 47 all right Junior you ready to go to McDonald's heck yeah all right let's go welcome to McDonald's how can I help you today yeah you can start by taking them panties off and then we'll get two chicken nugget Happy Meals and instead of the toy put your panties in the Box all right your total will be 650 at the window we ain't got money B Jeffy how are we going to get the Happy Meals we don't have any money don't worry Junior I got this hey that's going to be 650 well I got get the food first and then I'll pay uh that's not how this works well when I eat at other restaurants I always get the food first and then I pay later okay that's a good point all thank you all right Junior there's your Happy Meals yes okay 36 oh yeah hold on let me get your money yes we got the happy happy Jeffy look out oh you hit it what did I hit Junior I think you hit Remy from Ratatouille oh man let's get out and check on him oh no Jeffy he's dead well he shouldn't have been jaywalking do you think if I do CPR I can bring him back to life I don't know maybe Junior you should try it okay he's not dead run over again again he bit me oh let me see do you see any bite marks hold still Junior you're moving tooo much vroom vroom do you see any no hold still Junior I'm looking the car I'm not driving why did it start hey hey get back here someone stole the car we stole oh man oh no we have to call the cops Jeffy they won't they they stole Happy Meals oh the Happy Meals stillo no okay okay we have to call the cops and say that someone stole the car we stole all right let's go all right Jeffy I'm calling the cops it's ringing okay oh I should really call my Daddy and tell him what happened hello Jeffy what do you want um Daddy what you know the guy that's at the house right now wearing the suit yeah well me and Junior stole his car you what and then we lost it you lost it Jeffy why'd you steal his car Jeffy well cuz me and Junior thought it would be fun to go for a ride and get some Happy Meal Jeffy JY you find that car and bring it back right now cuz if he finds out it's missing he's going to kill me I can't bring it back right now I lost it find it and bring it back all right I'll see what I can do don't see what you can do find it and bring it back all right I'll see what I can doday bye is there a problem Marvin oh no no no no problem at all I just I just really wish we could find my wallet where is that thing yeah well since it's taking so long to try to find your wallet I think I'll just come back in the morning no no no no you can't leave you can't leave why because because like don't you want your house payment today I mean I prefer it today but yeah yeah don't leave you can't leave don't don't go out to your car just just just help me find the wall I feel like we're really close to finding it it could be over here well I am getting kind of tired so I'm going to run out to my car and grab my energy drink no no no no no you can't go out to your car why but you you don't want to drink energy drinks they'll give you kidney stones that'll hurt your pee peee look uh you need some water let's go to my kitchen and get some water come on all right oh yeah look at that water doesn't that look good from the fridge yeah it's good I usually get water flown in from Fiji well no look just try it I promise you're going to like it okay isn't it good tastes like ass and I would know let's just go look for my wallet come on hey there you call the cops uh yes sir officer somebody stole our car your car you're a child uh yeah but it's a friend's car that we were borrowing but he didn't really know we were borrowing it but we really need it back yeah and I'm legally able to drive so we're good okay do you have a dri license yeah hold on let me find it that's really up there huh you want to smell no thank you look we really need the car back or we get in trouble okay what' the car look like it was blue and fast okay a blue fast car yeah and in the little steering wheel thingy underneath it there's a little pedal that when you press it it goes really fast yeah yeah they tend to do that especially those fast ones look we really need the car back oh we're going to get grounded okay look I got to go in my trunk and get my notebook cuz I got to write all these details down hey Junior we should totally steal the police car to go get the car that we stole back we can't steal the police car that's illegal I know Junior but we have to do it orse we're going to get in trouble we have to steal the police car to go get the car that we stall back before we get in trouble you're right the cop can't find out we stall the other car we're going to get in trouble for that exactly so we got to go Junior we got to go okay I call a shotgun all right go okay just going to get my notebook what Karen she left all her stuff back here oh man if the boss finds out that I've been using the undercover car for Beach trips I'm going to get in a lot of trouble what wait what the why's the car starting what hey hey hey hey hey get back here hey hey get back here you kids dispatch dis bet my squad car has just been stolen oh we stole a cop car this is crazy okay we have to use the stolen cop car to find the other car we stole so we can get it back so we don't get in trouble all right let's do it okay I'm going to try to track the car with this like computer thing okay it's going to be like some cop Stu in here yeah oh man where's Jeffy with Goodman's car did you find your wallet yet Marvin no no I haven't found it yet yeah I wouldn't think it'd be behind the blinds either you know it wasn't behind the blinds well since I'm near a window I might as well take a look at my car well no no no you don't want to look at it I I already I already looked at it for you it was really nice it's really hot car yeah I know it is I I I just love the color blue I got it the same color as my balls yeah blue balls because I still haven't gotten my house payment yet oh we're going to find my wallet just get away from the window you don't need to look at your car come on oh man Junior I don't see him anywhere oh Junior look they're right there Junior oh Junior what's wrong oh man you're getting away Junior I'm going to chase you hold on junior I'm going to get our car back hey hey hey you pull the car over right now you give us our car back you [ __ ] wait why aren't we moving I ran out of gas hey hey you got out the car right now I'm not going to chase you all over the damn town but I was having fun you get out of the car right now cuz I'm not getting grounded over you Junior J we got the car back junior all right Junior you just sit right there we're going to get you home and get you a Happy Meal and you'll be feeling good all right let's go oh man the car won't start oh we're out of gas the hobo done drain the tank hey hey you you think it's funny to Steal a Cop Car huh do you punk well I had to steal your cop car in order to get get our car back well I guess if you get your car back in the end it was worth it you know what they say two wrongs do make a right yeah but uh we're out of gas right now so could you give us some oh I got your gas right here oh that's a good one yeah it's a man's fart well I guess I can push your car all right well you start pushing and I'll steer okay he's pushing I'm doing it keep pushing okay almost almost and good okay kid you're home thanks for giving me a push yeah do you think you could give me a ride back to my car I'm out of gas oh yeah right of course it's there's a whole point of all this okay I guess I'll just walk back to my car uh let's check the couch again no Marvin I'm tired of looking for your stupid wallet I'm just going to leave and come back in the morning no no no please don't leave look I think we can find my wallet I think we're really close to finding it I can just feel it Marvin Marvin look I found your wallet is my house payment in there let me open and look uh looks empty to me but it plays a cute song when it's open how did you even find that wallet I lied about it existing you lied dang dang I'm back and the package is secured the pee is in the toilet and the poop is in the sink so you got the car back mhm yes I lied about the house payment you know I don't have it you lied to me and wasted my whole day hey I didn't you didn't even have your house payman oh I'm so mad I'm just going to be back in the morning yeah I'll try to have it by tomorrow Jeffy you sto Good's car well I got back Daddy but I think Junior has rabies oh I can't wait to get out of here that was the biggest waste of my time why is my car not starting out of gas ew po daddy daddy there's something wrong with my Cheerio box Jeffy there's nothing wrong with your Cheerio box I don't know Mario it looks kind of bloated to me well that's cuz you smashed it Jeffy oh I definitely smashed it well I guess we're going to have to buy you a new one next time we go to the store no no no no no no I don't want a new one Mommy I want this one this one's special to me okay okay Jeffy Mario how about you TR to fix it I try to fix it it's all bloated and weird how am I going to fix I guess I can try to push it back into shape Jeffy what's in here what was in there daddy or what's in there now I don't want to know Daddy you got to call the doctor if it dies it's all your fault well I'm not calling a doctor it's already dead it's a Cheerio box oh look what you did Mario look what I did he you fix my T box right now okay fine Jeffy I'll call it doctor call a doctor right now damn it did somebody call the doctor I've had kind of a rough day some homeless guy called saying his cardboard box was sick so if I have another box related medical emergency I'm going to lose it uh well my son's cardboard rectangle is uh bloated oh cardboard rectangle okay hey wait a minute this is a box you trying to pull a fast one on me look sir look look my my son's really stupid and he thinks there's something wrong with this Cheerio box so can you just look at it what what could be wrong with it it's a Cheerio box I know sir but can you just at least like check it out what what wait a minute what's this but it's hard as a rock right here yeah I know I don't understand either well all right let me go get something sorry about that just had to grab my trusty Doc Mix stuff in stethoscope uh could you talk into this so I know it's working all right now that I'm [ __ ] DEA let's see what we can hear uhhuh just like I thought not [ __ ] hold on I'm getting something here uh I I I hear three heartbeats one is the throbbing in my eardrums and there's two heartbeats coming from inside the Box how are there heartbeats coming from inside the Box well I I don't know how to say this but I I think a Cheerio box is pregnant how could a Cheerio box be pregnant oh you know how mommy oh hippo dick see Cal [ __ ] Jeffy shut up wait so if if the cereal box is pregnant what does that mean well uh it it could go into labor any day now so we could have a natural birth uh or I could give it a C-section we could speed this whole thing up I think we should let the Cheerio box decide Well the box does have a c on it yep C-section it is a okay baby I'm here for you all right I will now perform a C- section on this Cheerio box with this box cutter right here take care of her doctor I will all right let's open her up oh look at all that afterbirth whole grain oat yeah that is part of a balanced breakfast all right let's get on with this delivery oh what do we have here a beautiful baby boy a baby boy I'm might name it push hole cuz it came out of a push hole hold on we got something else in there really get up in there I think I think I feel it I think I feel it oh a baby girl a baby girl I might name that one push hole too cuz it came out of a push hole too hold on here I I don't think we're done there's another thing in there let me get in there yeah there's a third one in there I can kind of see the head Punch Baby punch oh okay yeah this one this one looks a little more human I'm going to name that one Jeffy Jor cuz it came out of her puss hole well here you go sir you are now a proud father of three I'm a pretty proud daddy well no sense in letting all this after birth go to waste there's just no way a Cheerio box can be pregnant I think the doctor knows what he's talking about Mario hey mommy hey Daddy meet push hole one push Hole 2 and Jeffy what the [ __ ] is that thing oh my gosh Mario we're grandparents no no no this does not make sense it doesn't make sense at all Mario you should be happy we have grandkids well no it doesn't make any sense like how can a Cheerio box be pregnant and there's no way that thing came out of a Cheerio box uhoh d looks like someone took a big [ __ ] in their diaper and so did Jeffy Jr Jeffy you're a father now you can't be pooping your pants it slipped daddy well I'm not changing any of you shut the [ __ ] up Jeffy junor Jeffy I think Jeffy Jor is hungry well what the [ __ ] do you want mean do about it Jeffy you feed him food he's your kid you have to go feed him well what the hell am I supposed to feed him well what are you eat Jeffy [ __ ] Jeffy take him to the kitchen and feed him something regular like something in the pantry all right come on Jeffy Junior let's go Jeffy don't forget your other kids all right kids make sure you eat all your dinner so you can grow up big and strong just like you D Jeffy Junior why would you do that you're grounded you're coming with me chef peee can you make me a bowl of cereal what Shah peipi where's Shah peipi at chef peipe chef peee I want some cereal how do you think Jeffy feeding his kid is going Jeffy jior get your ass on this couch now toot That Ass Up You Think I'm like doing that you Jeffy what are you doing I'm beating that ass daddy cuz Jeffy junor decided to be a [ __ ] while he was eating dinner Jeffy you're not supposed to beat your kids well my mommy beat me well Jeffy you're supposed to be a better parent better than your mom was to you look like okay if you're going to punish him why don't you sit him to bed or like like tell him to go to bed get your ass to your room no [ __ ] all right Jeffy Jr you lay in bed and you go to sleep oh you in a bedtime story okay I'll tell you a story of Goldie [ __ ] all once upon a time there was a girl called Goldie [ __ ] and she broke into this house that was owned by three bears well she decided to eat all their food and sleep in their bed and take a poop in their toilet well they got M they killed her then did you poop again Jeffy Junior that's it come to the bathroom we're going to teach you how to go Pond all right Jeffy junor you're going to stay in that toil until you learn to use [Music] it [Applause] [Music] all King y done eating Junior you [ __ ] what are you doing I'm eating Cheerios what's wrong those are my kids you're going to pay for this wait what hello hey did you call the police it's been kind of a rough night I had a call down the street about a guy whose box of Froot Loops got stolen so if this is another serial related crime I'm going to lose it there he is Officer he eting my kids you monster I'm just eating cereal so you're a cereal killer these were his kids I helped give birth to him earlier tonight what's going on you're coming with me tubby what oh my babies Jeffy what's wrong I'm a bad Daddy what would make you say that Jeffy cuz all my kids are dead de what what Jeffy how'd that happen Junior 8 push hole one and two Mario wouldn't know anything about that what happened to the other one Jeffy Junior's missing so I think he's dead well well Jeffy how about you just take this as a lesson that you're not supposed to have kids until you're older look you were too young to have kids anyway and also how did you get that Cheerio box pregnant in the first place Daddy I did not think I was going to have to be the one that telling you this hold on one second what what what see Daddy yeah yeah this is a stinkhole a stinkhole and this this is hippo dick all right KRA today we're going to be doing a kiss quiz I'll ask you a question and the first student to get the answer right will get a Hershey Kiss when I saw the board take his quiz I thought we were going to practice making out with each other and Junior was going to be my partner no my partner was going to be Penelope no way Junior dude we're always Partners what are you talking about I want to kiss Penelope guys it's not even about kissing I bet I can answer more questions than you Penelope no way four eyes but you also wear glasses shut up CR all right first question who invented the telephone Alexander grandell godamn it correct peny here's your kiss I got the first kiss Cody yeah I'm going to get the next one all right next question crass how many stars are on the original American frag 13 [ __ ] ha correct Cody here's your kiss look at my kiss oh let me get in there all right next question what was Abraham rol's nickname oh I got this the free the slave man no Honest Abe that was George Washington no that's honest George Oh no you're thinking of Curious George correct Junior here's your kiss o a kiss all right next question man I have so many kisses well I have more kisses and some of mine had nuts in them mine have nuts too why I don't have any nuts in mine wait a minute this isn't fair teacher I haven't gotten any kisses all right Jeffy so since you don't have a kiss yet I'll give you a chance to win the last one and this question is only for you so you're the only one allowed to answer it what year did the War of 1812 happen now this is a trick question what year did the War of 1812 happen 1812 take away the four out of six 2004 screw it here you go yummy all right CR that does it for today go home and enjoy your kisses hey Daddy hey Jeffy how was school it was great daddy the teacher gave me a kiss right here what yeah I answered the question right so he gave me a kiss right here Morgan we have to call the cops hold on Jeffy this is a very serious crime you're accusing your teacher of are you sure he gave you a kiss yeah he gave me a kiss and he gave everyone else in the class to kiss when they answered the question right are there any girls in your class Jeffy yeah Mommy this one girl got a bunch of kisses from the teacher I'm calling the cops right now hold on hey there somebody called the whoop whoop that's the sound of the police we did oh good so what's going on well we want to report a very serious crime oh no is somebody giving away toasts for outrageously low prices no oh well my wife says we need a toaster and I thought maybe you would know where I could get a cheap toaster well my son came home from school today and he says that his teacher gave him a kiss in his private area waa whoa kid is this true yeah he gave me a kiss right here oh my God we are dealing with a very serious Predator here are you sure yeah I'm positive he gave everyone in the class kisses oh oh my God okay wait wait a minute aren't you in the same class as my daughter who's your daughter Penelope oh yeah she got the most kisses with nuts oh oh Jesus oh God no my poor baby it's going to be okay oh I have to go call her I have to call her what do you want Dad okay Penelope this is very important did your teacher give you a kiss in class today yeah he gave me a bunch of them oh oh God no it's true oh okay that's it I'm going to go arrest him right now order order order order order order order today order we will be hearing the case of the school teacher Jackie cheu who is accused of giving kisses to his students prosecutor tell me what's going on order well your honor I'm here today representing all of the kids who got a kiss from the teacher my daughter is one of them Penelope tell the judge what happened to you um well today in class we had a kiss quiz and every time we answered a question the teacher would give us kisses and sometimes they had nuts oh oh God my poor baby oh God Jesus Oh Mr cheu you are being accused of a most heinous crime is any of this accurate to what actually happened yes it is all true we had a quiz and if the student answers the question right I give them a kiss and sometimes with nuts you're a monster order order order order order in mind cour order Mr cheu you are a very sick man now tell me how many students did he give kisses too well your honor five students so far that we know of four five that is a lot of children Mr Chew what made you think it was appropriate to do such a thing to Children causing them years of psychological har I thought I would give them an incentive to want to learn because every time they got the question right they'd be like Jackie CH give me a kiss give me a kiss so I kept giving out kisses and then sometimes they'd say give me some with nuts so then I'd give kisses with nuts in it and why I just kept giving kisses and nuts as your attorney I would advise you to stop talking Mr Chew I am sensing No Remorse for your actions just handing out kisses as if they were candy exactly uh Ur may I have a moment with my client please now listen here you practically just admitted guilt with were screwed but I didn't do anything wrong all I did was give the kids kisses the kids like the kisses oh I never should have become a public defender Mr cheu I already know you're guilty now I just need to know how guilty prosecutor send in another one of the victims uh Cody can you come in here please yeah what's up uh the judge wants to ask you a few questions now young man how many kisses did you receive from Mr Chu oh I received a lot of kisses but that's because I'm smart I received more kisses than you Cody yeah well that's probably cuz you're a girl and he felt bad for you nuh-uh and at least mine had more nuts oh no I definitely had more nuts no you didn't oh God Mr cheu I know this is going to be very graphic to ask but how did you select which students received nuts with their kiss it was random whatever my hand decided to pull out oh Jesus Christ Mr cheu I am already planning on giving you the death penalty but just to be sure Beyond A Reasonable Doubt prosecutor send in one more victim Jeffy can you come in here please hey everybody what doing now Jeffy is it true that you received a kiss from Mr Chew I did and how many kisses did you receive just one hm now that's interesting Penelope you received multiple kisses right yeah and Cody you received multiple kisses yeah but Jeffy you only received one kiss yeah I think it was a Pity kiss because everyone else is smarter than me and so they were just getting more and more kisses and so I think the teacher felt bad so he gave me a kiss Mr Che we have now heard from three of your victims do you feel bad at all for what you've done no I don't regret anything I've been giving the kids in my crisis kisses for years the kids love the kisses they especially love the kisses with the nuts in big nut kiss I quit that's it you're on a fry this son of a [ __ ] I don't know what I did wrong Mr Chew you are clearly unable to tell right from wrong since you do not see what you did wrong and that makes you a danger to society prosecutor let me hear your closing statements before I bang this gav as hard as I can and yell guilty at the top of my lungs your honor I'm a father not a very good one but I am a father so today when my daughter came home from school and said Daddy Daddy I got the most kisses from the teacher I just couldn't believe it well I don't think that's true I think I actually got the most kisses shut up Cody it's not a contest kids what happened to you today was wrong that man is sick well I mean I guess it wasn't good to have that many kisses before lunch I thought they were sweet and at least nuts have protein oh Jesus your honor we're dealing with some serious Ted Bundy [ __ ] this man is sick and the fact that he's been doing it for this many years and the kids are just now coming for forward there's no telling how many lives he's ruined your honor I'm begging you bang that gavl bang the [ __ ] out of that gavl and send this man to the electric chair where he belongs I have heard enough guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty Mr Chew guilty that is what you are I sentence you to death by El electric chair no buy two electric chairs no buy an entire electric bed with an electric toothbrush before you go to the electric bed and then electric pillows and electric sheets and an electric bedtime story yes you will be killed by Electric bed and bedtime story tomorrow at midnight pay-per-view $49.95 then all of the money will go to the victim's families guilty yes justice honey we got Justice what the hell is happening why is he going to die for giving us kisses you're too young to understand but someday you will come on kids oh no come on you you monster isn't this silly folks I was just the lawyer and now I'm the BFF isn't TV silly come on let's get you to your cell all right class my name is Brooklyn guy I'm going to be a new teacher since your last teacher was a monster and now he's going to die so I'm going to be teaching you until we can find a better replacement are you going to give us kisses when we get questions right no no no no no kids what he did to you was wrong okay there's not going to be any more kisses you kids are going to need therapy to get over there but I see some kisses on the desk right there what are you talking about what uh huh um what Hershey's Kisses almond oh no oh no class was your teacher giving you these kisses or kisses with his mouth the candy Dad yeah the candy yeah I wish it was with his mouth oh dear God kids we're about to kill an innocent man I have to go any last words before we fry you I didn't know it was wrong to give kids kisses wait wait wait wait wait don't don't pull it don't pull it Mr cheu I have a question for you what kind of kisses were you giving the students sometimes they had nuts and sometimes they didn't have nuts no no I know that but like what did the kisses look like they were little chocolate candies with aluminum foil wrapped around them oh my god oh get him out of there I'm an idiot I hate school what Cody what happened to your glasses dude you look like a freak oh yeah I got lasic so I don't need glasses anymore what's lasic well it's when they shoot lasers in your eyes to correct your vision but I don't need glasses now so now you guys can't call me four eyes well we can still call you a bugy freak yeah googly eyes well yeah I guess you could call me that but you guys are just jealous of my 2020 Vision you could only afford 2020 Vision you're so poor you bought 2-year-old Vision why didn't you buy 2022 Vision yeah get with the times dude but no it's not the year it's how good the vision is 2020 was a bad year Cody that's when the pandemic started you have sick eyes yeah get away away from me dude yeah I don't want to catch your sick eyes okay whatever you guys see how dark it is cuz Daylight Savings Time ended yeah I hate when it's dark waa dude watch your mouth what's wrong with you yeah Cody what's wrong with dark well I just meant I hate when it gets dark outside what you got a problem with dark people is that what it is huh but no I didn't say that well Cody you got those new eyes but you're still racist let's not do this again I thought you could see better all right CR today we're going to be learning how fast is the speed of light it's this fast see that little tiny red dot it traveled at 186,000 m per second or 11,1 160,000 m per minute or 669 M 600,000 mph that little tiny red dot fast as [ __ ] wa that's so fast Cody that's how fast your mom would run to the buffet if she wasn't so fat oh dude she can still run that fast regardless of her weight yeah your mom's the fastest land elephant what land elephant is there any other kind of elephant well Dumbo could fly he was an air elephant but Dumbo's not real I'm looking at him right now with those big ass [Applause] ears um teacher may I play with your laser device no Jeffy the laser pointer is a very dangerous device if you point it at someone's eye it can make them go blind so no you can't play with it it's not here I want to play with it all right craft this Daylight Saving thing is really screwing me up right now so you guys can go home class is over and I'm going to be putting the laser pointer right here okay right here no one touch it and I'm going to go home and go to bed because it's dark outside so I won't be here to see if anyone touches the laser pointer that's right here okay see the laser pointer everyone right here right here it's going to be right here so don't one touch it I'm going to go home okay it's right here man we really shouldn't touch that laser pointer yeah let's go home yeah dude yeah I'm not going to take that thing so guys what do you want to do today since school let out early well it doesn't feel early in the day since it's so uh say it dude say it I dare you uh nighttime outside H nice sa hey guys look what I got the teacher said don't touch his laser pointer well I touched it and I took it but the teacher said not to touch you yeah Cody's right the teacher going to get mad at you touched it well I just want to play with it for tonight yeah I guess we could play with it for a little while but the teacher said shut up Cody we want to play with it for a little bit what are we even going to do with the laser Junior um I got an idea I got it Jesus my eyes I told Jeffy to do that why would you tell him that because you bought laser Las [ __ ] lasic eye surgery and you liked it so I thought you might want it again well that was a professional laser for fixing Vision yeah so I thought we could fix your vision by shine a laser on your eye again no that's not how ow Jesus my other eye oh God okay now you have 2022 Vision Junior you're damaging my eyes I can't even see now oh you can see how many fingers can I hold up I I can't really tell ow Jesus did you see me doing that I felt it hey Jeffy shoot me in the eye let me see how bad it oh god oh Jesus okay it does hurt yeah it it does actually hurt what's going on dude ow dude okay call a doctor hey there somebody call an optometrist and we got to make this quick because I got to go fly a plane in a few minutes cuz I'm delivering a whole bunch of donor organs to a hospital so today I am a doctor SLP so what's going on our friend shined a laser in our eyes and we can't see okay well that's dangerous but I don't really have time to diagnose you with anything so I'm just going to give you all glasses glasses yeah I'll go get them from my bag all right there's your glasses now I got a plane to fly wow Cody now we all look like you well it's your fault for shining a laser in your eyes nice Cody impression dude thanks Joe I've been working on it you know I was really trying to capture his voice but I think I got it I see you've been practicing uhhuh I'm really good at it now where's Jeffy Jeffy hey guys look what I found with the laser it's a gig cat I mean a kitty cat guys I'm allergic to cats it's you you well Cody don't sneeze on me you're getting all your germs on me I already caught your bad eyes I don't want to catch anything else guys can we just get away from this cat Jeffy can we return the laser pointer back at school because we already hurt ourselves with it okay you guys want to walk with me yeah let's walk with him to school walk it like a talking okay guys let's walk to school and return the laser God it's so night time out here oh what's wrong with it being nighttime you can't see me when it's dark do I blend into you no no I just think we need a flashlight I got a light that little Laser's not going to help us see guys look it's a full moon you want to see a full moon I'll pull down my pants Oh there's an airplane oh Jeffy you should see if you can hit the airplane with the laser okay are you hitting it I don't know man what a beautiful night for flying just look at that Moon what a big moon I wonder if it's really made of cheese huh ow ow Jesus my ey my eye I can't see mayday mayday I'm going down uh guys is that plane going down maybe it's just Landing yeah it's just landed it crashed it totally crash guys did we make that plane crash no Jeffy made that plane crash by shining a laser at the plane he probably blinded the pilot guys there's no way this laser blinded the pilot it couldn't even reach that far yeah there's no way this cheap little laser could reach that far Cody the plane probably didn't even crash we heard the explosion what if that was a car crash on the interstate that exploded yeah what if a car hit a semitruck carrying gasoline Junior we saw the plane going down well maybe it was a meteor with flashing lights on it no Junior that plane definitely crashed well listen it didn't crash until we have proof what's wrong Cody the news what the news [Music] look breaking news Okay a plane has reportedly crashed after a pilot was blinded by laser pointer if you have any details on who could have done it call 911 immediately guys we did make the plane crash damn it I spilled my free medium french fries I get from McDonald's every week dude I'm out of here you know they always lay in the dark guy no J get back here guys what are we going to do we we don't have to do anything jeffy's the one that shined the laser and you're the one who told him to do it I didn't have anything to do with any of this Jeffy can I see that what do you your finger prints your fingerprints ah Junior why would you do that because we're all in this together from the top we're all in this no no no no High School Musical [ __ ] guys we committed a serious crime you should be singing We all committed a felony yes we did that's what you should be singing Cody now is not the time to be singing a song what well listen there's some serious stuff going on right now okay we have to get rid of that laser pointer I can hide it up my stinky rectal hole yummy okay so look now that we hid the laser no one's going to check up jeffy's butt so look no one's going to come looking for us cuz no one's going to know where that laser came from they're not going to know it came from this house yeah I guess you're right they won't know where it is let's just sit back and eat some of your French fries Junior was that the doorbell no that was the smoke detector uh that was that was the neighbor's doorbell um Junior eventually you're going to have to answer the door okay look I'm going to go answer it if it's the cops we're going to hide just keep that thing up your butt hello hey did you just hear that explosion that was me I was just in a plane crash oh how'd you get in the plane crash I don't know I was just flying and then all of a sudden a laser came out of nowhere and hit me right in the eye and I got all confused and I got up and down messed up and then like I just crashed right into the ground luckily I parachuted out at the last minute but I still banged my face up pretty bad on some trees well I I'm so sorry about that it wasn't my fault well of course not how would it be your fault hey can I come in and use your phone I got to call just just everybody the FAA I got to call Sully and ask him how we got out of it I got to call Tom Hanks and see if he'll make a movie out of this one I mean I didn't land on the Hudson but I mean that explosion was pretty cool well yeah you can use my phone okay okay so where's his phone junior is that the pilot yeah he was the one that was flying the plane that crashed junior he can't be here I'll tell you what happened I shut up Jeffy uh sorry sir we just realized that we don't have a phone what you don't have a phone kid this isn't funny I was just in a plane crash I got to call some people yeah sorry but you got to go you got to leave wait wait a minute aren't you the kids from earlier that were shining lasers in your eyes yes Junior but we have the laser anymore yeah cuz you D my ass uh we don't know where it's at did did you kids shine a laser in my eyes while I was trying to fly a plane no no no the only thing we shine the laser at was our eyes and maybe a helicopter but not your plane so yeah no it's our teacher has a has a laser pointer on his desk at school and he pointed at things maybe airplanes huh I think I need to talk to your teacher Junior you're going to get the teacher in trouble better him than us all right guys we have to go back to the school and put the laser pointer on the desk okay Jeffy take the laser pointer out and put it on the desk who wants to go splunking in some cheeks no I do I do I'm a professional okay I don't want to watch this m butt neck D you let just put on the desk come on let's go okay guys we did it yeah I guess we got off scott free who's Scott what you just said you got off a guy named Scott for free no no no no Scott free it's a saying what's it mean well I don't know who's Scott there is no Scott it's just a thing people saying then why you saying something if you don't know what it means well I I don't know it's just like a common saying what if I just said random words that didn't make sense like ants beehive Bear tree well that that wouldn't make sense yeah then there's no point in saying it so shut up okay fine so why did you call me here well word on the street is you have a laser pointer I do it's right here rookie mistake showing me the evidence you've been shining that laser pointer at any planes no I've been shining it at the board to teach my students how fast the speed of light is well have you been shown them the speed of light by shining that laser pointer at my plane no huh likely story maybe I should just check this out for myself oh god oh why does it smell like dookie I have no idea huh let me think about this aha I have an idea I think you shine this laser punter at my plane and then when the plane crashed you got scared and tried to hide it up your butt but then that got uncomfortable so you took it out of your butt and you put it on your desk no huh liar all right you're coming with me so guys what do you want to do for the rest of the night well I guess I'm just going to go oh my God the news freaking news okay an elementary school teacher has been arrested as the person who pointed the laser pointer at a plane causing it to crash he would be going to jail for a very long time wow Junior the teacher's getting in trouble now because of something we did we have to say something something no Junior this is serious we just ruined his life okay listen Cody if we speak up we have to go to prison you want that well I think I could take it better than anyone else really you know in the butt listen I'm not saying anything I'm going to sit right here okay well I don't want to be a part of this so I'm going home what Jeffy can you believe him he really wants us to go tell the truth and tell the cop that we were the ones that shined the laser pointer and made his plane crash wow I can't believe what I'm hearing what's going on well I just came here to give you the Triple T the truth teller trophy because you told the truth about your teacher having the laser pointer that shot down my plane but now I don't know if I should give you this trophy it sounds to me like you're a fiber oh no no I'm not a fber I'm I was telling the truth like I look I promise I'm not lying well I can't give you the trophy until you tell me the truth okay okay listen okay listen we did take the teachers Las pointer and we shot it at your plan on accident so can I have the trophy H there's another very important question and I need answered so whoever can tell me the truth will get the trophy now the question is if you guys are the ones who stole the laser pointer why did it smell like [ __ ] cuz it was in my ass oh my God e e e e e e e e e hey ddy can you do me a favor what do you want Jeffy can you throw this baseball as fast as you can at my eye why would I do that Jeffy cuz I want to see what a bad sees when it hits a base Jeffy you don't need to see what that looks like what it look like ow Jeffy why would you do that that really hurt I wanted to know what it looked like well all I saw was a ball hit me in the face and then it hurt that's what she said Jeffy look I'm not going to throw a baseball at your eye get someone else to do it all right ddy you gave me a black eye moo I'm a cow hey can you do me a favor moo quack quack quack quack quack quack we SN okay you win Mr hippo I was supposed to be a donkey oh okay anyway can you do me a favor and throw this baseball as fast as you can at my eye sure I love throwing baseballs let me see it okay get ready for the super fast double decker fasty MC fast or S fast ball special ow wo kid you got a wicked Boo Boo on your eye you should get your mommy to kiss it my mommy's in jail mine too best friends forever okay see you later best friend all right see you at school all right class today we have a guest speaker and it's a cop do I smell baking crass how incredibly inappropriate all right crass now remember hide your rugs with a de in follow of it or you might get arrested yeah well anyway I I am your guest speaker I I'm the bacon I guess but I'd rather you call me offic of Brooklyn T guy now I'm here today to talk to you about why police offices are your friends in that you should be nice to them okay but you know as a cop I guess I should probably start out by saying you know don't talk to strangers and all that unless they got money I mean you know how that goes you know like he said don't do rugs with a D in front of it that's bad uh but mostly I'm just here to tell you why you should be nice to me and the kind of things I have to deal with on a daily basis so every morning I wake up next to my fat wife who spits in my coffee and tells me I'm worthless and that'll never amount to anything so obviously I've got a lot of rage built up after that so I pull over the first car I see just the very very first one and I just really let him have it you know I just really lay into him I just turn off the old body Cam and really give it to him I'm tasing them hitting them with the taser I'm just I'm just I'm beating them up right but after that I've got all the rage out of my system so the next car I pull over I just let them off for the warning unless it's a hot chick you know then you know maybe you you show me a little something then I'll let you go you know there there's this one hot chick oh I pull her over every single day she's like why you pulling me over I'm like you know why come on show me let me see him that's right she's got the best Pokémon cards M I'd give her a slow poke if you know what I mean anyway yeah so uh oh Jeffy oh what up Junior what happened to your eye oh yes well I want you got in a fight no I want Jeffy in a fight yeah I think Jeffy got in a fight look at his eyee no I didn't W what happened you get in a fight with a bear no did you get in a fight a family of bears no no did you try to take their porridge no did you jump out of a burning building and land on your eye well would that be cool that'd be so cool that'd be sick yeah what happened Jeffy tell us what happened you have to tell us yeah was it something cool something cool yeah was it something cool I got it you guys want to hear something cool yeah what happened all right this is exactly what happened hey hey was I talking or were you talking cuz I'm pretty sure I was talking look at this look it says guest speaker right here in chalk that's me I'm the guest speaker I came here to talk today unless you have a better story to tell all you know what come on up here come on and tell your really cool story no I I want to hear your story about how much of a hero you are and how you save lives every day like me come on no come on up here I want to hear it yeah Jeffy go up there and tell your story yeah tell us okay come on up here big man can't wait to hear your story that's a nice black eye you got there you know I had a black eye one time you want to know how I got it I was saving a dog from a hot car and I opened the car door too fast and hit myself in the eye but I still saved the puppy so all right let's hear your stupid story all right so this is the story on how I got my black eye so I woke up this morning all right the story is pretty similar to mine so far but go ahead and I heard on the news that there was a building on fire I'm a firefighter so that doesn't really matter big whoop but there were 45 babies trapped on the top floor yeah really yeah and no firefighter was brave enough to go into the burning building because it was too hot oh no and then I saw that there was the only work for Jeffy and so I ran into the building and I jumped over the fire and I ran all the way up to the top floor and all I did was start grabbing all the babies so I was holding 45 babies and I was trying to run out of the building as fast as I could but I dropped the baby but I caught the baby with my foot so I was hopping and and I realized that there was no way out so I had to go to the top floor of the building so I was on the roof of the building and I looked down I said I got to get down from here but there was no way down so I had to think quick so I hurry up and I made a parachute out of the baby diapers oh it's genius and I jumped down and I parachuted to safety oh thank God I landed safely on the ground but there was earthquake oh no and then God Jetta popped out in between the Earth and he said oh I'm hungry for baby and I said no Mr Godzilla babies are not on the menu today and and then he poed me in the eye that's Godzilla and and only using one of my eyes and and one of my foot cuz I was still hopping on my foot I I kick him in the space and I beat him up and then and then and then and then all the babies got adopted wow oh my God that that was the most beautiful story I've ever heard kid you're a hero you know what take my shirt in my hat too you deserve it class class cheer for him he's a hero he saved those babies and he saved the world everybody cheer hero hero hero the whole world needs to know about you breaking news a 15-year-old boy has saved 45 babies from a burning building and then he saved the world from Godzilla we have Brooklyn tea guy now with a live press conference Brooklyn thanks Goodman I'm here with Jeffy the true American hero who saved 45 babies from a burning building and then kicked Godzilla into space yep sure did Jeffy we'd like to present you with this wsa medal the world savior award we'd also like to present you with this the saving babies from a burning building medal for all those babies you saved from that burning building oh you can just call me two chains I'm out here well hold on oh okay we'll get getting word now from scientists who are saying that there was no earthquake recently and that there's been no seismic activity your mom is showing signs of seismic activity ouch ouch ladies and gentlemen he's not just a hero he's also a burn specialist what hey there father of a hero what's going on hey Danny you can call me to change I'm out here I'm making moves Danny yeah your son's a real hero he say 45 babies from a burning building and he beat up Godzilla oh he did all that yep sure did Daddy yeah didn't you see the news he's even got the black eye to prove it well actually now that I'm looking at it you have a black eye too how'd that happen oh my son Jeffy threw a baseball at my face wait what oh don't you remember daddy Godzilla gave me the black eye oh oh yeah oh yeah Godzilla gave me this black eye yeah he he he started flying and his wings hit me in the eye well well Godzilla doesn't have wings oh oh yeah I'm sorry his tail hit me in the eye oh yeah yeah that makes a lot more sense yeah yeah I'm so glad my son Jeffy told the truth and and in said he saved all those babies and and and beat up Godzilla like do you have proof that any of this happened well I mean there are some questions I mean we we we we don't know anything about a fire happening recently and uh they haven't been able to prove that there was an earthquake but he has a black eye so I believe him yep but anyway I'm just going to leave you two alone you have fun being a hero Jeffy explain why you lied to the entire world and said you did all this stuff that you didn't do well Daddy I was going to tell my friends what really happened with my black eye but they wanted to hear a cool story so I had to make up something cool so that they thought I was cool Jeffy you lied to the entire world now they think you're some hero or something that you didn't do Jeffy you know what you're going to sit here and think about what you did because I did not raise no liar but there ain't nothing bad's going to come of it well yeah we'll see Jeffy hey oh hey best friend don't call me that you're a liar what what did I lie about I know how you really got that black eye and you didn't really save all those babies and I know Godzilla personally and you sir did not fight Godzilla he is a nice man so we'll see who the real hero is next time a building catches fire why aren't you wearing shoes Jeffy let's just watch TV breaking news there is currently a hospital that is on fire with 50 babies trapped inside the fire department and emergency Personnel are currently not responding because we know that the hero Jeffy will arrive shortly to save the day Pampers has already aird dropped a box of diapers to the top of the hospital so when Jeffy gets to the roof he can build another parachute out of diapers and glide to safety Jeffy if you can hear us we need you now more than ever well would you look at that Jeffy there's a hospital on fire with 50 babies in it and they expect you to save them so go save them I didn't have to oh yeah you do yeah you do yeah you do Jeffy cuz you lied to the world and said you did it before so they expect you to do it again so what are you doing Jeffy I'm turning off my ears daddy so I can't hear you anymore you can't just turn off your ears Jeffy that's not how it works Jeffy you can't turn off your ears Jeffy you can hear me Jeffy thank God I found you there's a hospital that's on fire and there are 50 hold hold on don't waste your breath he can't hear you why not because he just turned his ears off what yeah he just turned his ears off yeah apparently he can do that well can he turn it back on this is an emergency Jeffy can you turn your ears back on for the nice firefighter man please all right daddy my ears are back on watch out okay there are there's a hospital that's on fire and there are 50 babies trapped on the top you're just going to turn your ears back off Jeffy you canot just turn listen to the man listen to him Jeffy turn your ears back on turn back on Jeffy daddy why did you turn my ears back on because you need to listen to the firefighter now listen Okay Jeffy there is a hospital that's on fire and there are 50 babies trapped in the top in the in the top floor Jeffy je listen to him listen to him right now all right Dad Jeffy there are 50 babies trapped in the top floor of a burning hospital and you are the only one that can save them well I can't do it right now what what what are you talking about there's no time for this we need you to save those babies I don't feel good what Jeffy we we we can't have you not feeling good those babies need you yeah Jeffy is there something you need to tell the nice firefighter you know maybe you should tell the firefighter the truth is there something you need to tell the nice firefighter man what what was that what was I supposed to get from that okay what he was trying to tell you was he was trying to tell you that he's a liar and he didn't save any babies there was no earthquake there was no Godzilla there was no other babies he didn't do anything he just threw a baseball on his eye wait you're telling me he didn't really kick Godzilla in the space no cuz Godzilla doesn't exist so he made all of this up he made it all up he's a liar oh oh my God what are we going to do we got to save those babies from The Burning Hospital well why don't you call the fire department they all quit because they thought he could handle it they all quit yeah I was going to quit too I just put in my two weeks not notice well then you're the only one that can save the babies what do I look like a firefighter yes you can go save those babies get in there and save those babies you really believe in me yes you can go do it go do it okay yeah yeah you're right this is my chance to finally prove my wife wrong I am worth something all right yeah I'm going to go save all 50 of those babies yeah you go do go save all 50 of those babies breaking news okay it turns out that the Jeffy kid was a liar he didn't save anyone he's a straight up liar anyway we have a new hero in town firefighter Brooklyn te guy who just ran into the burning hospital and saved all 50 of the babies we have an interview with him now Brooklyn uh did you say I saved all 50 babies cuz I didn't I mean I only saved four I mean there's still 46 babies left in that building back there I mean it it's it's really hot in there okay I mean you can see it that that building's on fire it's really it's really hard to breathe okay I mean I I did what I could I save four I mean one of them got a little burned but oh wait never mind can we cut that no oh no it's live oh no man well I mean I'm still a hero right I still at a metal right I got to save five babies for the metal what are you kidding me have you seen that building oh my no I'm not going back in there it's not worth a metal for that no it is it is way too hot in there uh well I saved four I'm happy with that you know that's that's four more than that Jeffy kid saved I'll tell you that yeah how about we talk about that how about we talk about how he lied okay made me look like a fool on National Television yeah there's no way he saved 45 46 whatever babies from that building over there I couldn't even save more than four he only saved four hey there hey buddy how's it going well I learned that Fire's are hot and babies are heavier than they look yeah yeah so you only save four yeah yeah I did you know I wanted to save more but I didn't cuz it was hot and it was fire like everywhere just you know like fire just all all over the place like right up in my face and I couldn't breathe but you know I still save four babies which is four more than either of you two loses so Jeffy well I hope you learned your lesson I hope you learned your lesson to tell the truth all the time and to always be honest because lying always gets you in trouble it's always better to tell the truth and to be honest you turned your ears off didn't you Jeffy Mario what's up folks Black Yoshi I'm not going to give you money Mario man how you know I was going to be asking you for some money man you a m reader no black Yoshi because you only talk when you want money Mario day is not true F we best friends remember when I used to let you ride on my back in the games that was the green one black Yi but at my cousin and for that you owe me I'm not giving you money black I'm not giving you money for Mario please I'm going to donate it to charity oh you're going to donate the money to charity yeah what charity oh the Black Yoshi needs some KFC and some Kool-Aid charity well black Yoshi I'm not giving you money okay so that's fine don't ask me for money I don't give anybody money I'm not giving you money I guess I'll just see here and play Call of Duty and pow and moan Bop Bob Bob shut up you so mean hey Daddy oh hey Jeffy are you ready for school uhhuh I also need five bucks for lunch today um or else I can't eat I have to eat my own poop like I had to do yesterday on Sunday all right Jeffy here's your lunch money for today it's $5 thanks Dad I'm going to pocket this son of a [ __ ] I just won't eat all week I'll make me 25 bucks well Jeffy did you do your chores no well if you do your chores this week you make another $20 every week I'll think about it all right Jeffy what black Yoshi you just gave old helmet wearing pencil in the nose dude $5 but you can't give your best friend $50 Black Yoshi he's my son I have to make sure he has money for food every day but Mario you got to make sure I have money for food every day cuz I'm so so hungry all I've had today is a Happy Meal Black Yoshi Jeffy is my responsibility he's my son you're not my responsibility you're an adult but Mario I just need $50 for food or else I'm going have to eat my own doooo like I did yesterday on Sunday you just copy what Jeffy said blacki I'm not going to give you money black Yi I'm not going to do it well what about them CH you already told Jeffy that you give him $20 a week for some ches yeah yeah I I pay him to do chores because he's my son I want to teach him responsibility I want to teach him what it's like to work cuz if you work for something you get money and you don't work Black Yoshi I work I have to I have to charge the batteries of my controllers I have to stir my own Kool-Aid I have to get up and go to the bath rooms like that's not working look look my son he he washes the dishes and he takes out the trash I can watch some dishes that's easy F let me watch some dishes I watch some dishes for some Tado dos okay black I want you to prove it to me I want you to do jeffy's chore since he's not going to do them anyway look here's what I want you to do go wash the dishes if you can wash the dishes you might prove something to me okay I can watch dishes here hey Black Yoshi go watch the dishes man I'll watch the dishes go watch the dishes Black Yoshi going all right black Yos you done washing the dishes what black Yosi even even touch the dishes Bo what you talking about I'm doing what you asked me to I'm watching the dishes black you haven't even touched the dishes though but Mario I don't have to touch them to watch them black no no not watch I need you to wash them wash the dishes Mo I don't know what you be saying I am watching the dishes just like you told me to and actually I think this dish was cheating on this dish with that dish and I know this show racist because there ain't no black dishes in here black no no you're not supposed to watch them not watch them wash them you know with the soap in the water wash but you told me to watch them BL you don't fine you don't have to watch the dishes anymore look this this what you do how about you take out the trash okay I'll take out some trash you're going to take out the trash M wants me to take out the trash I'll take out the trash I'll take out the trash trash real good now I don't know why Mario wanted me to take you out I mean you cute and all but you ain't really my type man I I mean to the the black heavy duty trash bags if you know what I'm talking about but uh yeah girl you go ahead you enjoy that hot pocket so I can get in your hot pocket later but black Yoshi what are you doing I'm taking out the trash just like you asked me to no black Yoshi you don't take out the trash on a date you take out the trash like you throw it in the trash can Mar now you just rude she's sitting right there like I'm not giving you money you don't know you don't know how to CH just don't talk to me but Mario you nasty I can't stand Black Yoshi Mario please give me another chance folk please no black Yoshi you don't know how to do chores you don't know how to take out the trash and you don't know how to wash the dishes Memorial I did everything you ask I watched the dishes and I took out the trash black you don't know how to do it right you know how to do stuff the way you want to do it but you don't know how to do it right so no I'm not going to give you money the only person I'm going to give money around here is Jeffy jeffy's my son so he's the only one that gets money oh so if I was Jeffy I'd be get some money yes if you were Jeffy you'd get money but you'll never be Jeffy ever mhm okay all right Jeffy are you ready for bed yep I just took a big dump in my pants daddy you can change that if you want or I can sleep in it well good night Jeffy all right guess I'm sleeping in [Music] it I got my Jeffy costume now I'm going to go make me some monies Jeffy are you ready for school no yeah Daddy and all that yeah I'm ready to go what Jeffy are you okay you don't look so good oh yeah Daddy no I'm fine I look like this just because I'm so hungry what you're hungry yeah Daddy I just I just really need my lunch money oh oh your lunch money okay hold on let me get it all right Jeffy here's your $5 for lunch money Oh Daddy $5 wasn't enough yesterday I was still so hungry I think I need another $10 but $15 on lunch money Jeffy that's a lot of money on food I know Daddy but that's to get the food I really really want and I'm a growing and boy Daddy I want to be big and strong just like my daddy I mean I am big and strong and you are a growing boy so all right here here's $10 more for your lunch money oh thank you Daddy and also one more thing there's this kid that sits with me every day at lunch and he never has any money to buy him some lunch so he asks me if he can have one of my French fries and I have to say no because I'm just so hungry so I was wondering if we could pay for his lunch today daddy well Jeffy it's not my responsibility to take care of another kid and it's not your responsibility either but I mean you really do care about this kid and and I like that you're learning how to care for people so this one time okay you can pay for another kid's lunch okay Daddy and also one more thing my best friend in the whole school is dying Daddy dying he's dying and and they're selling Girl Scout cookies at $10 a box to pay for his treatment and I really want to buy some cookies oh I mean that's really sad Jeffy I don't want your best friend to die no okay Jeffy how about this here here's $20 right two1 oh you're so generous dad I want you to buy two boxes one for me and one for one for you okay oh thank you so much Daddy my best friend's going to live oh yeah I hope so and also daddy daddy today today is is snow cone day or snow cone day snow cone day daddy and they're a dollar a piece okay I'll give you a dollar but dadd I'm I get picked on in school so I just really want to buy everyone in my class a snow cone so I need 10 more dollars I mean that's a lot of money on snow cones but I know but I get pick on so good I I I know so okay Jeffy you're not supposed to buy your friends but I think if you buy all your bullies of snow cone and everyone in your class they might think you're cool so here yeah here's $10 more dollars buy everyone in snow cone all right daddy oh oh oh Daddy I forgot today's the last day to do it my teacher said my teacher said that tomorrow they taking us to Mount Olive to look at the pickles so I need $10 for the field trips $10 for a field trip yeah it's very educational because they're going to teach us about how to make pickles with the cucumber and the vinegar and stuff okay I mean i t a field trip to to see how pickles are made is is very educational only $10 Daddy please submit to my edication there's another $10 for your field trip oh thanks Daddy oh Oh Daddy last thing I promised yesterday yesterday the teacher took us to the book fair right after lunch and I just be looking around for some books and and I found me some books that I really really want I just need me some ailia Bia and some Captain Underpants daddy so I need I need I need some money for some books Fair money for the book fair yeah I mean you've never read in your entire life I never see you read but if you want to start reading then I definitely want to give you money for that because I want you to start reading books here's $10 for the book fair oh thank you Daddy but also you know how when you go to the book fair and you be in the checkout line and then you see all the erasers and everything that you be wanting and then and then they ring you up and then the lady's like well I'm sorry honey you can't have the Eraser you got to put something back I really don't want to have to put back my mil Bia Captain unders pants I mean I don't want you to be one of those kids that has to put something back cuz they don't have enough money I need me some eraser Daddy and the erasers all right here's $10 more do Jeffy oh I sure hope this is enough Daddy I think I'll survive thanks you so much I'll call you if anything bad happens have a good day at school Jeffy thanks Daddy I hate school so much it's the same thing every morning e Cody what are you doing I woke up with morning wood Junior I got to cut down this tree somehow it was teacher Cody's being gay again damn it Cody put your gay little doll away before take it huh okay in the desky go can open wide thank you teacher y thanks teach man what the hell hey little turtle man oh hey Jeffy what's up uh uh this be my seats uh it it says Jeffy all over it so yeah that's your seat Jeffy all right good and all that okay I'm changing your name to Dyson Ken all right class today we're going to be running the 50 states of the United States this is not China China is way the [ __ ] over here this is [ __ ] China this is the United States of America and we're going to make this fun today crass so what I'm going to do is I'm going to give away prizes I'm going to call on you one at a time and if you can name that state I will give you $1 $1 per state okay a doar per state I'm about to get paid Chumps except for you Cody no smart kids only dumb asses what that's not fair teach come on okay all right so we're going to start with Jeffy Jeffy you first Jeffy Jeffy the teacher's calling you oh me yes you Jeffy all right the first question is what state is above Tennessee uh what's above Tennessee that would be 11c 11 see no you are dumb Kentucky is above Tennessee you are dumb man that doesn't make no sense teacher man this is how you counts it goes 10 C 11 C 12 C and if you go in from the beginning it's 1 c 2 c 3 C 4 C's and so fars and so fifths all right Jeffy next question what is the capital of Kentucky oh man this was easy fried chicken you know like Kentucky Fried Chicken Fried Chicken no you D the capital of Kentucky is Frankfurt Jeffy one more question name a state that is next to Kentucky what's next to KFC papy cuz they in competitions you are done you could have said Indiana Ohio West Virginia Illinois Missouri Tennessee but no you said Pap you are dumb oh Jeffy damn it one more question what state is Barrow New York oh York God damn it Jeffy you are literally the stupidest [ __ ] on just goddamn play the names of the [ __ ] states are on the goddamn board what is B New York pvan Pia God damn it of you so down oh I literally have to go meditate before I rip off my lip little Chinese ball sack oh damn it way to go doofus you made the teacher lose his [ __ ] man only cuz I'm really really so so smart hey give me your lunch money man I ain't giving you my lunch mov man I got to buy me some pieces give me your lunch money or I'm going to punch you in the face man I beat your ass so good to make your head spin man stop talking to me folk oh man what would a white boy do I got to think like a white boy hey teacher man all this black dude being a said he trying to take my Lun smovies um hey hey Booty Bill what I tell you about trying to steal money go to the office right now wow way to be a snitch snitches get stitches man you ain't going to do nothing get your ass out of here okay jeffy's at school so I can just sit back and relax what what's that noise d d help Jeffy Jeffy yeah Daddy it's me the one you locked in the closet last night don't tell me I not lock you in a closet I don't know what happened you you were supposed to be at school well I'm not I'm right here Daddy stuck in the closet but but you asked me for money this morning you asked for money for the book fair and and and a field trip a book fair and a field trip there's a book fair in the field trip and I'm stuck in here yeah you asked for money and then you went to school no I didn't you probably lock me in the closet cuz you didn't want to pay for it well no I already gave you money Jeffy no you didn't wait oh my God I think I know what happened I think Black Yoshi dressed up like you just so he would get money oh my God I'm oh stay right here Jeffy I don't want to go to a book fair damn it all right C now that I've calm down we going to try this again so Jeffy what is the capital of Colorado oh I know that one that easy man Colorado that's where they make the coloring books so the capital of Colorado is coloring B Factory no I'm not trying to get peace off again the capital of Colorado is Denver Denver Colorado all right Jeffy next question what is the capital of Minnesota oh Minnesota that's where they make the minotas the little tiny Dr Peppers and the little tiny Cokes Jeffy you make me want to lay on train track with head on track the capital of minota is St Paul Jesus all right Jeffy let's do one more just for [ __ ] gigle so what state is below Virginia Virginia oh I know I lost my Virginia when I was 14 years old and I lost it in Mississippi and that's where they sippis on Minnesota for Minnesota class over every everyone go home I hate my rights go home man I get to go home already this school stuff easy oh I can't believe black Yoshi I can't wait for him to get back oh hey Daddy oh hey Jeffy how was school it was awful Daddy just awful oh it was when I got to school the bully stole all my money of course he did so I was just sitting in the corner just crying and smacking my diaper and and the teacher felt bad so he's willing to did the book fair and and the snow cone day and I even get to pay tomorrow for the pickle plant and my friend daddy he's almost dead so instead of buying two boxes I think we need to buy like eight boxes or or or or or 10 boxes Daddy okay yeah and and tomorrow I think you should give me double the money in case the bully tries to steal from me again Daddy I I can give him I can give him the money and then still have my backup okay yeah I'll give you double the money that that that sounds reasonable yeah in case the bully steals you again yeah yeah good okay so yeah I'm going to give you all that money but first off you have a doctor's appointment right now oh doctor's appointment yeah doctor's appointment hey somebody call a doctor uh yes doctor see the reason I called you is my son's looking a little sick and he sounds sick too I think he might have a frog in his throat yeah Ribbit yeah I guess he does look a little sick let me take a look at that throat uh yeah this there's definitely something in there oh what is it ah let's just get that out hey don't touch me man Black Yoshi what the hell is going on here I'll tell you what's going on see Jeffy got so so hungry that he ATS me and my monies because Mario wouldn't give him his lunch money no no what actually happened is Black Yoshi made a Jeffy costume just so he could try to steal jeffy's lunch money cuz he knew I gave Jeffy lunch money every day and you fell for it uh yeah I mean I knew it was fake as soon as I came in he had a big nose sticking out of his mouth I was just playing along for fun well I don't pay attention sometimes you know you my friend are blind if you you couldn't tell that wasn't real you need glasses that's the next video Mario gets glasses well well black Yoshi look you're not getting the money cuz it's my money you stole that so did you learn your lesson you're not supposed to steal money I guess I guess it's really really wrong to make a costume of somebody and dress up like him and then act like him and steal some money yeah black what you did is wrong and you're not getting this money because you stole it so so go apologize to Jeffy right now okay I can't stand him oh thank you for coming well that's that's fine it's a huge waste of my time but that's nothing new Jeffy did Black if you come and apologize no what he didn't who's that uh hello hey it's the uh uh the doctor man and I just want to come by and say that you ain't pay your bill and it's like $10,000 but because you my best friend I only accept $400 all right class today is art and crafts day and we're going to be doing a lot of a craft it sounds like he said arts and craps arts and craps Junior I already got the crap part done right here in my Docker so craft let me show you where you're going to be doing today first you're going to get yourself a PE of paper some goo and some gritter you're going to take the goo and just put it all over the paper just like that then you're going to take your glitter and you're going to put all over the pepper hey Cody if your mom was that piece of paper then the glitter would be fat cuz she's covered in fat oh B you know I really like how you can take anything and make it into a my mom's fat joke then you pick up the piece of paper and you shake it like a girl's booty in a music video and then it reveiews your hidden message so get started CR oh man I can't wait to get started um Cody could I borrow a piece of paper Joseph why don't you ever have your own paper cuz I'm poor Cody I know I just like to hear you say it here you go what tell me I'm hunky first you're hunky Cody that's right I am God I want to mix out my glitter but I don't want to get my hand off sparkly H what can I use oh I know had to get the boogers all off of it I can use my pencil to stir it all [Music] up oh man the glitter made my pencil all sparkling hey doofus I dedicate my picture to you cuz you're a doofus you know what how about you shut your Nole pirate ship Cannonball looking face up pirate ship Cannonball huh that's a new one well how would you like get if you were a pirate wow you actually thought that was good did you turn me into a pirate how did I do you yeah well you still be a doofus you scallywag I wrote A Song For You O who is a big doof sitting in front of me that is Jeffy who is stupid and really ugly that is J you're not going to sing SpongeBob songs at me I'll show you I want a bigger pencil D doing oh you're looking for a sword fight are you well you'll never get me Berry treasure you don't even have your SE legs you like that Jeffy stop beating up the pirate teacher he just swabbed the deck with me booty who this thing's cool I'm like a wizard with this thing hey Junior I'm done huh I made you something well I made you something too Cody it's your mom oink oink oink oink oink oh dude I made what I need the most because I'm poor all right crass everyone turn in their art so I can grade it except for you Jeffy you get F because you beat up the nice pirate you know what teacher Jeffy don't you punch your Pinel at me did the teacher just turn into Charizard it's red dude it's so cool I guess school's out there oh a yeah hey Daddy hey Jeffy how was school day at school some big fat hairy guy came into class and he said you're wizard Jeffy and he gave me this wand so now I'm Jeffy Potter and I can turn people in and stuff with this wand whoa Jeffy you put glitter all over your pencil that's cool dang did you not hear what I said I can turn people in and stuff for this wand sure you can Jeffy dadd I'm going to turn you into a kitty cat Jeffy what did you just turn me you're a liing I told you I could do it Daddy now where's hemroid at what yeah the girl from Harry Potter Hermione yeah hemroid Daddy where's she at Jeffy I do not want to be a lion turn me back I don't know how daddy you're your stupid pistol thing well I don't know how to make it go backwards I'm going call I'm going call a doctor right now hey there did somebody call a doctor all right all right yes I called a doctor wait are you a lion yes my son Jeffy turned me into a lion with his pencil I think you might be lying huh let me hear it let me hear it all right all right settle down settle down no I'm not lying well if you're not a lion then what are you a cheater okay okay no no no no he turned me with a pencil and I want you to turn me back well if he turned you into a Ling with his pencil can't he just erase it ow my face my face I'm sorry I'm sorry okay why did you Maul the right side of my head you were making stupid jokes well the people were laughing I'm sorry you don't appreciate good comedy look I just want to get turned back to normal well if your son turned you into a lion with his pencil why can't he just change your back he said it doesn't work well he should at least try Jeffy at least try to turn me back with a pencil Jimmy you tell me to do a Minecraft zombie scary zombie waa he can actually turn people into stuff yeah but you didn't believe me you thought I was lying Hey kid Hey kid can you fix the right side of my head with that thing huh but this is not what I had in mind Jeffy you turned him into a dragon Dan I can't control it it just does what it wants to do well at least he fixed your head yeah yeah I guess he did do that I got this big silly tongue though it's too big for my mouth I keep biting it every time I talk I got a speech impediment Jeffy you better find a way to fix us I didn't have to yes you do Jeffy we don't want to be a zombie and a dragon for the rest of our lives fine Danny I'll go figure out how to fix it what are you going to do now I don't know maybe I'll fly around burn some Villages marry a donkey you know Dragon stuff I don't know what to do hey he you uh you want to hop on my back and fly to McDonald's sure let's go all right guys are you ready to play stack cups why cuz it's fun Cody whoever Stacks the most cous and hits the Bell wins this feels like chores well you know I'm down Dude any fun is fun for me because because you're poor we get it yeah you're poor Joey we get it getting old well I am anyway we're going to start on the count of three okay three oh man drop one but I Dro I got it I got it dude you cheated IED all of them I won well actually uh you just dropped them so you lost how yeah you lost so you lost Joseph yeah hey guys what you doing hey Jey what up JY not much CD but I got a problem in the his house what the problem is I Got This Magic Pencil that turns people into things but I don't know how to turn them back what are you talking about here let me show you oh my God I'm gorgeous waa Jeffy you turned him into The Little Mermaid wait he's not The Little Mermaid dude The Little Mermaid is black oh oh yeah I I forgot well anyway that's so cool Jeffy turned Joseph into something oh yeah turn me into something dude turn me into something okay The Jeffy you turned him into a Mr Potato with no arms he only has a tongue piece so he just keeps going oh well oh Jeffy turn me into something turn me into something okay Junior who what I'm Thomas this is so cool I think I can I think I can yeah but I don't know how to turn you guys back why would you want to yeah this is so cool oh I'm going to go I'm going to go be a big old train I think I can I think I can yeah I'm going to go jump in the ocean and see if I can pick up some hunky dudes a a I can't believe they kicked us out of McDonald's I can I'm a dragon and you're a zombie it's probably a good call on there part well good thing I got the manager's brain brain hey you want to play Operation uh sure you can go first all right don't touch the sides you you touch the sides my hands are too big hey dadd what are you doing Jeffy did you find a way to fix us no but I did turn my friend into stuff Jeffy you're you're supposed to find a way to fix us I'm sorry Daddy oh I am getting kind of hungry do we got any food well the only thing I got to eat is brains you want to try it yeah sure daddy oh it's chewy I like it well uh let me let me find you something healthy to eat hold on all right Jeffy here's your salad oh man Daddy I hate baby arugala Jeffy you're going to shut up and eat your baby arugula I going to turn this into something better oh look dad chocolate cake eud Jeffy it has mold on it even better Daddy but Jeffy look at least wash your hands before you eat I didn't have to yes you do Jeffy wash your hands I don't want you getting sick fine Daddy I'll wash my hands oh I'm going to wash my hands might as well wash my pencil too since I want to eat my chocolate cake w all clean I'm about to go eat my chocolate cake all right it's my turn let me see the thing ow my face hey you're back to normal wait you're back to normal too I am wait wait what happened D what Jeffy how' you fix us well what you fix us look we're back to normal how'd you fix it wait there's no glitter on your pencil anymore oh man oh well at least I got me some chocolate cake look everything's back to normal yeah I just hope this video didn't drag on too long yeah yeah let me hear Let me [Applause] hear drag on you were a dragon right yeah all right crass today you have a test today so today I'm going to come around and pass out your test today and you will take your test today and then you will turn in your test that you took today and I'll grade your test tomorrow wait I'm confused when is the test today but we get our results tomorrow okay thank you I was very confused all right Jeffy here's your test I'm going to fail this show hard and here's your test today oh I didn't study all right CR you may begin your test today and remember no cheating oh I don't know any of these answers I can't fail my Mommy's going to ground me I want to try to Google the answers hey passer are you using your phone to cheat on the test sorry I didn't mean to that's it you f go to the principal's office now okay oh grass he's having a seizure someone get the nurse oh my God poor Patrick whoa dude that boy going bonkers no I think he's challenging us to a break dancing competition oh no way I can break dance better than him no I can guys he's having a seizure I bet his favorite pizza place is little seizures hey knock it off you're distracting me from my test did someone call a nurse [ __ ] nurse all right everybody calm down the nurses here all right you just calm down now what happened you just experienced a seizure now come with me to the nurse's office and we're going to get you home oh it must have been my low blood sugar I have diabetes okay that was crazy all right Patrick I hope you get better soon I'll just go ahead and pass your test for today all right everyone back to taking your test no wait just a goddamn second this kid gets to act like a bag of shake them up fries from Burger King and gets an A on his test and I'm over here scratching my balls trying to figure out why there's letters in mouth I passed him on his test because he had a medical emergency he couldn't help it okay that makes sense well if he can do it so can I teacher I don't feel so good oh my God another feacher someone get the loose I bet jeffy's favorite salad is seizure salad I'm really good at Food based seizure jokes did someone call me again not as good as last time oh my God another one now just calm down do I get to go home of course you do now come with me heck yes I'm out of here guys all right Jeffy I hope you feel better suck on this teach right this way I know man you guys are dropping like fries get back and taking your test guys I think Jeffy just faked the seizure so he have to take his test it looks like he really seized the opportunity wa come on dude that's messed up yeah what I thought we were all making jokes you can't make jokes about seure that's wrong yeah it could be you you never know dude well bully was making food jokes I bet him and Patrick are going to go eat it steak and shake shake this what a seizure does [ __ ] ah settle down you're supposed to be taking your test hey n Jeffy what are you doing went home from school so early school just started Jeffy well I got a so fast on my test the teacher said I could come home you got a on your test I sure did Daddy I pass that bit with flying colors B you never got an A on your test before Jeffy that's amazing Jeffy yep and there's going to be plenty more A's on my test coming around because you've been studying so hard yeah let's go with that well Jeffy we have to go out and celebrate but first go do your chores go do the dishes and take out the trash Jeffy knock it off your chores seizure what har I think jeffy's having a seizure I'm going call a doctor hey Le somebody call a doctor yes doctor he won't stop shaking whoa whoa hey calm down champ tell him I can't do my chores doctor why is he shaking looks to me like he's having a seizure why uh maybe he's epileptic what does that mean it it means you have seizures well what causes them yeah how do you stop from happening again everybody shut up I don't know I don't know okay I'm not a very good doctor and I cheated on that part of the test I don't really know anything about seizures I just know they have something to do with your brain okay then what can we do to stop Jeffy from having seizures in the future um I guess we could give him medication I mean I heard THC helps okay where do we get THC oh lucky for you I'm a doctor I can hook you up yeah my friend sold me these brownies and I was going to eat them alone in my house but I'm pretty sure there's a good amount of THC in here so if Jeffy has one he shouldn't have any more seizures all right Jeffy look eat a brownie and I'll eat one with you yeah me too hey Marvin he what do us and those brownies have in common we're all baked whoa look at my boy Jeffy he is in space my guy he is [ __ ] zooted he is in Andromeda right now no no no no no no no he is he is beyond Andromeda he is an alpha centori he is riding the Hubble telescope whoa whoa Marvin Marvin look at this you see my hand oh my God I have the reflexes of a cat oh I think I could catch a bullet oh my God this is amazing I don't I don't I don't think Jeffy could take these brownies every day I can I I think he needs real medicine oh wait wait did you say something I I don't I don't feel good um hey I I think I'm I'm going to I'm going to go drive home Jeffy I'm going to go to bed okay now that we're all sobered up we have to find a realistic way to treat jeffy's seizures well maybe because Jeffy got so zooted it cured his seizures do you think they're cured Jeffy well it depends on if you tell me to do my chores or not no I think you should stay away from chores I don't want you to get dizzy or I'd fall over yeah I agree no chores for me Marvin I think I have the munchies yeah me too let's go downstairs and get something to eat well if we don't get pizza I'm think I'm going to have another seizure again so Marvin what are we going to I have for dinner yeah Daddy what's the moves Pizza Time no Jeffy I know what you're going to eat you're going to eat a big old plate of green beans to help out your brain and need some vitamins oh no Daddy I feel it coming I feel it coming he's having another seizure what do we do Patza Mar we have to call the doctor okay I get doctor doctor hey there somebody called Dr Doof and Schartz what you know like Phineas and Ferb Candice Candice WEA fit in your mouth you're still zooted yeah I get hungry on the way back to my car so I had another brownie well look Jeff's having another seizure hey hey man calm down you're good bro see you're good what happened we tried feeding them green beans and he had another seizure oh I see what's going on here it's time for dessert see Marvin no more seizures oh Jeffy my brother in Christ you in another dimension my boy see he can see colors we can't even imagine colors that are not even on the color wheel hey Marvin hey Marvin you know who my favorite Yu-Gi-Oh monster is it's red eyes black dragon you get it cuz he's baked oh hey hey Marvin you know what pisses me off is when people say tomato tomato but like I've never heard anybody say tomato like like I give you that cheeseburger but no tomato nobody says that or like like potato potato like nobody says potato either like like I'm going to go play with my Mr Potato Head or or or give me that bowl of mashed potatoes oh man okay all right I think I'm going to go home okay now that we're all back to normal Jeffy we have to find a real way to cure your seizures other than eating those brownies but Marvin those brownies help Jeffy seizures well he he can't eat those brownies his whole life he can't function being like that all the time so Jeffy just go to your room and lay down until we find out a way to help you but I wanted to play fortnite all night you can't play fortnite Jeffy that's a video game and a video game is flashing lights on a screen that will cause another seizure it will yeah so go lay down but what if the video games help my seizur it won't Jeffy just go lay down and rest okay Daddy and make a loud noise if you have a seizure go dude okay guys guess um uh wiener is it a wiener a CR a crooked Wier a crooked wiener I'm seeing a crooked wiener uh uh a drippy wiener a crooked drippy wiener no it has uh big oh balls a crooked drippy wiener with big balls no look Cody it's a faucet like like a water faucet oh I was so close hey guys oh hey Jeffy I have a question did you did you fake the seizures at school today to get out of taking the test sure did Junior and I've been faking seizures all day and getting baked red what Jeffy was faking it this whole time oh he's so grounded baby what's wrong Marvin did you know that jeffy's been faking his seizures all day don't say that no no no no I just heard Jeffy tell his friends that he faked his seizure in school today to get out of taking a test what so it all makes sense now Jeffy faked the seizure to not do his chores he faked the seizure not to eat his green beans he been faking his seizur all day oh my God Marvin what do we do we whoop him Jeffy get in here dearest father are you going to give me a spanking oh you're damn right I'm going to give you a spanking whatever fa because you've been faking your seniors all day Jeffy no I haven't yes you have oh then what if he's actually having a seizure I'm not falling for it this time Jeffy knock it off all right you caught me see Jeffy been fing your seizures that is so wrong that you're making fun of people who have seizures I'm sorry Daddy no Jeffy there's people out there really suffering for seizur and you're sitting there faking it for your own personal gain that is so wrong Jeffy I know Daddy I will never do it again you better never do it again right Jeffy that's so wrong you know what I'm going have to call that doctor back and let him know that sorry for wasting his time cuz Jeffy was faking his seizures all right I'm starting to think you guys are just calling me for my brownies no no no no brownies I just want to let you know that jeffy's been faking Sears all day and I want you to tell him it's wrong me it's all good in the hood bro well no it's not all good in the hood what Jeffy did was wrong and I want to be grounded hey hey hey man you need to calm down you know what I think I think you need to have some more brownies you see Marvin you're not so mad anymore are you hey hey you know what word I hate nonchalant and it doesn't even have an s in it it's shalant with a CH H and that's some [ __ ] and you notice you can never be chalant just nonchalant you never hear anybody say man I am very chalant I'm having a bad day I'm feeling very chalant today you never hear that hey hey you know what else is crazy like like wood comes from trees but houses are made of wood so if you you think about it all houses are tree houses man damn po man's here to shve the [Music] day i d d I pooped yep Jeffy you saved the day you pooped in your pants instead of the toy like a big boy yep you saved the day yep Jeffy what what are you doing Jeffy Jeffy what are you doing I'm digging in my butt daddy Jeffy oh thank God I think that's I think that's Ro Elina all right Jeffy just stay right here I'm going to go into the door okay oh thank God baby you're here I'm living in a nightmare what's wrong Mario oh Lord what's that jeffy's um jeffy's digging in his butt again yeah well look you got him the pooperman shirt I did I did get him that I thought it would encourage him to poop it it does encourage him to poop in his pants Oh and now he's digging in his butt just just come on look well here's pooperman hey pooperman oh hey lady do you need to be shved by poop man yes no there he goes again good job Jeffy you're saving the day he's not good job he's going to poop his pants again so Mario when are you going to take me out all day take you out all for our date you promised to take me out all day on a date today really movies and lunch and ice cream and then dinner and then me yeah I did I did promise all that but see I I don't have anyone to watch Jeffy well we could just take him with us no why not Mario we're not we're not going to take that with us look at him what's wrong Mario look that's that's very inappropriate and we're not taking that out in public well don't you have any friends that could watch him for the day friends I I I I I do oh my God Jesus get that hand away from me no one canist poop man it can't be that bad oh Jesus Christ his butt no one can okay I have a friend that really likes poop so so maybe he can watch them Shrek you in there uh yes donkey this is practically my home okay well strk can you do me a favor does it involve me getting off the toilet well I need you to babysit a kid for me well donkey unless the kid has a gas mask I don't recommend him coming in here I'm making like some biochemical Warfare with my crap well Shrek do you plan on coming out of the bathroom anytime soon uh sorry donkey this is going to be an all day thing thanks a lot Shrek oh what happened here oh pooper man just got pooped [Laughter] outy it's funny cuz you get it cuz it's pooped out I got poop I I got it I got it I got it so my friend can't watch Jeffy oh why not because he's pooping too oh yeah everyone's pooping so I don't have anyone to watch him so I guess we can't go on a date again wait don't you have that one black friend Black Yoshi uh no no he cannot watch Jeffy he he will you don't want him to watch Jeffy cuz he will not take any of jeffy's crap he I met him and he was very nice but black Yoshi does not take crap from people he he Mario I'm sure he'll be fine I'll ask him if you want me to I'll ask him I just he's going to make some ridiculous request and it's going to be more trouble than it's worth [Music] yeah yeah boy black what are you doing oh I'm making a make Kool-Aid cupcakes folk you want something Kool-Aid cupcakes I never heard of that before oh yeah we do it in Hood all the time F we get our EBT cars we go get some Kool-Aid and boy we make us some Kool-Aid cupcakes oh well I need a favorite from you black Yoshi okay what's good Mario what you want well see me and Ros have this kid oh you had a kid F congratulations I mean I think you stupid because now she got you for 18 no no it's not no we did not have a kid oh so you adopted a kid FK that you even more stupid because what's the point having a kid unless you make the kid you know what I'm saying like black no the kid showed up at her door oh so now it's a black kid what no no no look I just need you to babysit the kid while me and her go on a date oh Mar y I don't do no babysitting fol I do not do no babysitting Black Yoshi okay look you have the babysit just let it play your Xbox hm let the the kid play your Xbox just for a few hours uh um black youri what uh black look I understand you don't want anyone playing your Xbox but just he's a kid he doesn't have to play your Call of Duty he can play any game any other game just please just let him play your Xbox I I'll I'll pay you $100 oh $100 blacki $100 yes oh man Mario I don't know about that cuz usually I I don't even consider unless you know it's like about four about four4 $500 for $4 $500 I can buy him in Xbox Black Yoshi come on a reasonable price you know what Mario I I I I do it for 200 two $200 yeah man man you want wall smell no I don't deal okay I I'll do it for $200 okay $200 and you got to let them play your Xbox for a few hours okay iph oh let me put these cupcakes in the oven and I'll come eat him oh okay okay black Yoshi so this is Jeffy oh he said yes shh hold on just give me a second oh uh Mario real quick what why do he got a ble helmet on his head oh that's so he doesn't hurt shut up uh it's because he just got done riding a bicycle uhhuh okay yeah uh and the pencil on his nose what's that about F oh he has a pencil on his nose because he uh uh he fell off his bicycle and landed on a pencil Mario what shut up oh uh oh okay F yeah so that's pretty much it Jeffy mostly sleeps he doesn't really make any noise and and if he wakes up just you know give him your Xbox control and let him play but other than that he's a perfect angel and he doesn't make any noise so U Mario let's go let's go let's go see you in a few hours Black Yoshi all right F have a good day so uh so this is Jeffy it's so dark in here I can't see I can't see F there's the helmet in front of your eyes hey who are you uh I I'm black Yoshi I'm going to be babysitting you while your mommy and daddy went on a date okay so uh oh this is uh this is my exbox controller right here and uh so you going to play some Grand Theft Auto okay so you can't play any other game except for Grand Theft Auto so all you got to do is just sit here play play the game don't don't put the controller in your mouth or your nose or or or or your diaper or anything like that don't break my controller fol okay I got to go get my cupcakes out the oven all right wao Xbox what you doing oh he much Polie officer man what you doing oh no I didn't mean to do that hands up don't shoot I can't do nothing I can't do nothing I'm done you stole my Xbox yeah so the cupcakes ain't done yet I'm [Music] [Applause] sorry thank you so much for taking me out all day Mario I had so much fun no problem baby I had a fun time too so I I'll see you tomorrow are you sure you don't want me to go in and help you with Jeffy well I'm pretty sure black if she has it covered I I'll see you tomorrow okay okay bye bye yeah scream all you want scream all you want cuz you're still going to die you're still going to die Jeffy what's going on black Yoshi oh let me tell you what's going on Mario so your pet [ __ ] decided he was going to throw my Xbox off the Thor story balcony and why would he do that I I don't know black I'm sorry I'm really sorry mhm me too black what are you going to do oh I'm going killer F he's going to die you can't K you can't go back to jail how about this how about this how about you take your Xbox to GameStop and see how much money they give you for it maybe they'll give you enough money to get a new Xbox huh you know give him a chance come on all right you lucky Jeffrey you lucky Jeffrey okay let's go to GameStop real quick and and see if they give you enough money for it okay all right the uh can I help you sir oh I like to trade in my Ed botles one for some cash for for cash yeah I mean how much you looking to get for this uh well see this piece right here it's uh it's 3D see the pie sticks out uh that's about uh $50 50 $50 oh then we got this thing o the Xbox logo on it worth a lot of money real popular $25 and then here's the grill looking fresh this goes for about 250 on eBay but I'll let you have for $5 and then this thing right here still got the fan the built-in fan oh there's a gang stuck in it too so I'm going to let this one go for about about 250 or or if you're feeling really froggy we we can do it for 400 for the for a lot the whole thing $400 $400 for all this yeah $400 I mean I'm I'm going to have to ask the boss about this hey Carson yeah this guy wants $400 for what's left of an Xbox one oh it's a good no it's the whole it's all here it's all here yeah definitely an Xbox one seems like it fell exactly three stories high From A Balcony must have been actually you know what you can kind of take a look this exact bump from 90° from three stories I think 100% about right yeah yeah yeah oh so I mean I think I think we're going to have to go talk this hold hold what about 250 $250 no no no $250 man I can't let I I got I got I got I got to do it $250 we'll talk we'll talk you know what yeah let's talk about this I mean I mean we we we we could just throw him the hell out I mean he's not getting money for all right yeah okay so get the hell out uh but man okay okay all right what about $25 no not even $25 sorry but there's a game in there no but there's a fan the indoor Cooling system the wi are still here yall going to regret this I'm going to put on Craigslist I'm going to put it I'm going to put on eBay y going to regret this all right Jeffrey today is not your lucky day I took my Xbox to GameStop and they didn't give me a single dime so you going to die today Jeff black just think about don't kill him over the Xbox I mean I hate Jeffy I really hate him but he's just a kid well I ain't going to lose sleep over Mario black I mean come on just just think about it I mean he I mean he is really stupid but just don't kill him come on well you going to buy me a new Xbox I mean you're already going to so I mean I mean come on you know what fine kill him kill [Applause] [Music] [Applause] him oh man oh it was just a dream oh that was the best dream ever Jeffy died oh my god um Daddy what what I pooped the bed I pooped your bed Daddy all right Jeffy here's your green bean Pizza wow Danny you found a way to ruin pizza good job I didn't ruin the pizza Jeffy I made it healthier for you well I'd rather starve to death what do you want to drink Jeffy pisss to go with the shitty food Jeffy what do you want to drink Daddy I already got my 2 L bottle of coke right here you're not going to drink a 2 L bottle of coke and if you're going to drink soda you better drink diet cuz it's healthier for you Daddy I'm not drinking something with the word d in it Jeffy that's not the word d That's diet I don't care if it's a girl Daddy I'm still not drinking it well you're not drinking regular coat cuz it's not healthy for you I'm going to put this up all right so jeffy's going to drink diet because I don't want him drinking this regular stuff cuz it's bad for him so let me go get him a glass to drink out of cuz I don't want him drinking right out of the bottle all right Jeffy I got you a glass for your soda Daddy I told you you kill me it say die what you suck it up no and now I don't have to eat the pizza cuz it's all soggy whoops you know what Jeffy you're going get some healthy come on that's it Jeffy since you want to ruin your pizza by putting soda all over it you're going to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner but dadd I don't like peanut poop and jelly ass sandwiches well since you ruined your pizza this is what you're going to eat for dinner and you're going to make the sandwich all by yourself but I don't know how to make one daddy Jeffy it's super simple all you have to do is put the peanut butter on the bread and the jelly on the bread [Music] what yay I did it all by myself okay smartass oh yeah I'm smart no no you're not smart Jeffy look you're going to stay here all night until you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich hey Daddy look my name is Jiffy like the peanut butter you know what Jeffy if you're if you're hungry make your own sandwich oh yeah that's looking good let me just get rid of this one that I messed up on okay I'm all done making my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches Jeffy what are you doing in the kitchen what what the hell Jeffy why did you make this mess oh my God it's everywhere Mario what look what your stupid kids on my kitchen Jeffy why'd you make a mess you're told me too no Jeffy I said make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich not throw it everywhere well you didn't tell me not to do that well you need to punish your son look if he was my son I would beat his ass but like I was saying I would beat his ass if you don't know how to punish your kid look you need to hire a nanny just get the hell out of my kitchen get your kid and get out of my kitchen Jeffy come on get out God oh Jeffy what you did in the kitchen was ridiculous absolutely ridiculous ooh I'm telling you shake dick Jeffy what's wrong with you why do you have to do bad things why why don't you listen D listen I'm not saying my [ __ ] don't stink cuz it stinks like [ __ ] Jeffy I wish I could get you help but I don't know where to get you help from I'm going to watch TV is your kid acting up is your kid out of control does your kid need to learn some manners if you answered yes to any of these questions call Nanny in seconds where we will deliver a nanny straight to your door in seconds to discipline your naughty child nanny in seconds I need that that's what we need Jeffy we need to get you a nanny I'm I'm going to get you one of those I took a poopy and seconds how about that oh I'm going to call her nanny and she's going to fix you oh please answer please answer hello thank you for calling Nanny and seconds will we give you a nanny in seconds I need a nanny okay she'll be there in seconds is that her yep that's her oh thank you so much uh hello hello I am Mrs Nesbit hello Mrs Nesbit no no no please darling call me Nanny Nesbit well can I just call you Nanny no oh okay it was shorter but now I heard you had a naughty child uh yes I have a very naughty child and I wanted you to fix him but I think he's unfixable no no no no no shush I have never met a child I could not fix really yes okay well what are your prices my prices are very exorb what's that mean it means they're very expensive expensive like like like how much $500 that's not that bad an hour an hour an hour an hour an hour oh man I don't think I can can afford that H I'll tell you what if I cannot fix your child you don't have to pay okay that's a deal yes oh okay look to start off let me show you what Jeffy did before we make a deal I want you to see how bad Jeffy is so you can see if you can fix him or not so so come on I want to show you what he did okay oh I can't stand Jeffy all right nanny nesbet so this is what my son Jeffy did oh heavens to Betsy look at this mess I know right a very shitty situation hey you do not use that kind of language what I'm a grown ass man woman listen here you will not use that kind of language around me and you will use your man has got it yes ma'am good now brush your teeth okay you got him to listen to you yes you see darling I do things the easy way or the hard way when I smack you okay well so so this doesn't scare you or anything oh no it's nothing I haven't seen before but I am allergic to peanut butter though so oh okay well um you think you can fix Jeffy oh yes of course let me see him all right follow me I'm going kill you all right Nanny Nesbit this is my son Jeffy hello Jeffy oh gotcha I said hello Jeffy Jeffy she's trying to talk to you I don't give a [ __ ] oh my how rude I'm sorry he's just distracted by his video game video games video games corrupt the minds of children give me this hey what the [ __ ] dadd that's my game no bad language why don't you go eat a crack you parent knows [ __ ] oh heavens that is it I'm going to Boop you on the nose daddy she just boo me on the nose oh [ __ ] you want to throw hands I'll throw some [ __ ] hands square up [ __ ] stop it stop it stop it stop it look look stop are you going to fix him or not yes he deserves the worst punishment imaginable I banish you to the corner wait where did Jeffy go he went to the corner Corner follow me Daddy how did I get in this corner turn around oh [ __ ] language yes ma'am well how did Jeffy get in this corner I have super nanny Powers Don't Mess With Me Now Jeffy you will stand here in this corner for 5 minutes you will not move you will not speak you will do no such thing now I will go prepare a nutritious dinner to all right Jeffy just stay right there and and do exactly what she says okay M Chef peipi you are making a masterpiece oh heavens what are you doing um I'm cooking dinner what what is this monstrosity uh it's just some cookies poptarts a little bit of green sauce you know oh my it's so unhealthy it's a little bit of macaroni in there no no no from now on I will be doing all of the cooking you don't cook anymore [ __ ] okay language I mean o okay let's get this this is boring as [ __ ] she says I can't turn around I can turn around I'll show that hoe I can turn around watch my video game she said I can't leave the corner I'm going leave this corner I'm going to get my game I'm play a game what she going to do not [ __ ] get you having fun uhoh she caught my ass no jff what did I say um I don't even know I said stay in the corner and don't move Now give me this hey that's my game now I have to choke you what's going on oh hey uh nothing I was just telling Jeffy here how much of a good boy he was for staying in the corner now let's go have a nutritious dinner oh okay my daddy she was choking me all right Jeffy I have cooked you some raw vegetables this is a bushel of broccoli this this is a raw ear of corn and this is celery with a side salad what the [ __ ] is this language what the [ __ ] is this language what the fun is this H said fun [ __ ] language Daddy what the hell is this eat your vegetables that is broccoli but dang it looks like a tree a whole tree it's not a whole tree it's just broccoli and then then that's corn look this looks like something she sits on for fun Jeffy and this is celery try celery it tastes like grass it's good for you all right well then how about you eat it then oh puppy look what you've done you've made me say a swear oh that is it Jeffy it is time for the maximum punishment for you poof where'd he go follow me school why am I at school yeah why are we at Jeffy school I poofed Jeffy to school because it is the ultimate punishment children hate scho School imagine being a child sitting comfortably at home playing with your toys and then all of a sudden poof you are transported to school at night and you're forced to do a ton of work but I hate school daddy so what you going to make yes that's good enough success oh well that was fun I I still want my $500 an hour though but but you didn't fix my son that's okay that's evil goodbye hey Dad um can you turn this thing back on I want to take my picture again you know Jeffy you are stupid but you are my son and I'm going to love you the way you are no matter how stupid you [Music] are you put your left hand in you take your left hand out you put your left hand back in then you take your right back out you do The Jeffy Pokey and you put your left hand back in that's why it's all about come on Daddy you put your left hand in you take your left hand out you put your left hand back in and you take your right back out you're doing your Jeffy Pokey and you put your left hand back in and that's what it's all about come on Daddy one more time you put your left Jeffy no no Jeffy it's so annoying you're not even singing it right you're just doing the left hand over and over and over you know no no more piano well can we go in your Park no fine Jeffy we can go to the park as long as you don't play with your stupid cat piano but only for 30 minutes okay Daddy that's so inward what yeah we're about to go outward to the park okay well let me go pee first no dny we got to go right now but I got to use the bathroom no D it can wait okay fine let's go I'll just pee at the park pee PE all right Jeffy we're only going to be at the park for 30 minutes okay Daddy I'm going to ride the F out of this donkey Jeffy that's a duck you like that donkey all right Jeffy well I really have to go pee so I'm going to find a bush dny remember if you shake make it more than three times you're playing with it all right oh man I got to pee you found me you a hide and seek what Wingo this guy's got his Wingo out he's trying to pee on me no I didn't even know you were in the bush I was peeing I didn't I didn't see you mommy help me what's the matter sweetie this guy's got his weener out ah you got your wien out why you trying to show your weener to my baby no no I was peeing in the bush I didn't know he was in the bush you got no Jeffy Jeffy we have to go home like right now daddy it hasn't been 30 minutes yet I've been counting well Jeffy if we leave right now I I'll buy you let go two boxes yes how about four boxes yes whatever let's just go and I want to sh for two come on let's go oh my God what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do well first of all you go get me my Legos oh hold on Jeffy daddy will get you your Legos just let me see if I'm in trouble first oh it must be the Lego guy bringing me my Legos oh please don't be the cops uh hello ween man that's the we man uh excuse me sir are you the wiener man but no I'm not the wiener man really cuz this kid says you Whipped Your hog out at a public park my hog yeah you know your pelvic pork pumpkin what you know come on man your your yogurt hose yogurt hose yeah you know your Wang Dang Doodle your your Vienna saage no this is what happened I was at the park with my son and I had to pee so I peed in a bush with a kid in it well I didn't know there was a kid in it okay I thought I could just pee in a random bush in the Park yeah where else am I supposed to pee I don't know in the bath room like a normal person well animals pee in bushes yeah and that's what you are an animal and you should be locked up like an animal oh come on I just peed in the bush I shouldn't be in trouble for that well that's illegal and now you got to register as a what come on man you know I can't say that why do I have to register is that look I didn't do anything wrong look I'm sorry that I didn't see the kid when I was you know doing my thing in the bush yeah well that's too bad cuz that's illegal and now you got to be under arrest I do yeah you do so turn around oh look can we work something out well you're trying to pee on me now that might work what just come on breaking news Mario the face of Nintendo has been caught with his pants down whizzing on a bush that had a boy named Patrick in it Nintendo has yet to respond but Mario now has to register as AO what has this world come to all right you're out on bail but you're not allowed within 100 ft of a park or a Chuck-E-Cheese this is ridiculous you want to know what's ridiculous I still haven't gotten my Legos yet you're right Jeffy I'm sorry hey officer can I take my son Jeffy to the toy store so I can buy him some Legos absolutely not you know what they have at a toy store what kids and you know what you like to do when you're around kids what take a leak I don't like to take a leak when I'm around kids look it happened one time I was at a park I had to pee there was a bush right there I didn't see the kid look I I I I couldn't hold it oh yeah and what happens when you can't hold it at the toy store you going to start peeing on toys no it's called Tickle Me Elmo not tinkle on Me Elmo I know that you don't fine look here take my credit card and just buy Jeffy Legos he wants four boxes four full boxes dang what did he do to get full boxes I want to do it all I had to do is come home wow you know what I get for coming home what I get burn dinner and saggy hooh hoos well I'm sorry about that yeah me too I'll be back with your Legos all right I got the four Lego sets all right Jeffy there's your Legos yes I got my Legos well I actually got five cuz I wanted one for me it's a big space station one of the bricks even lights up and everything it's so cool I didn't say you can get Legos but he got four I know he got four but he earned his you didn't earn yours I earned mine look man I was just doing my job if it were legal I'd be peeing on everything I'd pee all over your house all we're going to take that back okay fine but we're going to do that after you go door to door telling everyone you're a SN I have to do that yes it's required by law you have to go door to door telling everyone how much of a freak you are so they don't go trick-or-treating here cuz you might pee on them I really have to do that yeah so come on all right Mario we're at your first house so what do I have to do again you just walk up there knock on the door and then tell the person that you're a registered and I have to do this yes it's required by law okay first though you're going to go up and ring the doorbell and then you're going to run away giggling like a little girl what you want me to ding-dong ditch's house yes because it'll be fun okay oh are you sure about this yeah it'll be so funny okay hold on just a second hello hello man what the helicopters somebody playing a prank on us God damn it you think he saw us no no that was red oh my God what do we do now well now you actually do have to go up there and tell him you're registered I still have to do that yeah so let's go all right let's do this I'm so nervous another doorbell I swear to Jewish god if there's nobody at this door I'm going yank my ear off hello excuse me sir look I don't want your lemonade okay yeah believe me you don't want any of this guy's lemonade go ahead Mario tell them how weird you are well sir my name is freak my name is weirdo my name sick are you going to keep doing that my name is Mario and I'm required by a law to tell you that I'm a registered SN din wait register s in my neighborhood yeah yeah you think you know somebody right I'm so sorry sir to tell you that but I have to tell you I I peed in a bush at a park you peed on a bush were there the kids around well there was a kid in the bush what's wrong with you you better get out of my neighborhood weirdo yeah you deserved that all right next house all right next house please don't keep making me do this you have to it's the law who's at the door I hope it's a girl scout what hello my name is mar hello my name is Mario and I'm your neighbor and I'm a registered SN oh cool me too what' you pee on what I peed on a school bus oh you guys should be friends and pee on stuff together oh no no no no no thank you it was nice to meet you sir oh wait come back we can cross streams or sword fight or something oh my God I hated that that was the most embarrassing thing I've ever had to do God how could this day get any worse hey I'm here to make your day worse Goodman what are you doing here well Mario I came to tell you that your contract with Nintendo has been terminated but terminated why cuz Nintendo doesn't want their mascot to be associated with peeing on things well I'm not peed on things I only peed in a bush in a park one time it was only a one time thing so you couldn't hold it or well I've been holding it all day look it was a bush I had to go I I didn't think there was a kid that they're so stupid well Mario I tried to fight for your case I told him that the reason why you were running so fast through all the levels in your video game is because you were looking for a bathroom but they didn't buy it I can't believe I'm going to lose my job over this yep and uh you're going to have to give me your hat my my hat why my hat well it's property of Nintendo so we're taking your hat I'm the new face of Nintendo now it's going to be super Goodman Brothers so have a good day I can't believe this my life I really wish I could be someone else I want to be anybody else but me I wish I could just get out of this body get the new one I don't want to be me anymore I might have a solution but I got to put my doctor outfit on to explain it hold on what all right now that I get my doctor outfit on I can explain hey guys look at my monster truck boom bo that's really cool Jeffy oh yeah that reminds me you're not going to be able to keep Jeffy well I can't keep Jeffy why well you're not allowed around kids so obviously you can't have a kid so he's got to go into a foster home a foster home Jeffy can't go to a foster home you can't do this to me well I could always give you plastic surgery but plastic surgery what would that do well I could change your face to make you look like someone else no one would ever know that that would really work yeah and you would do that for me sure if you let me keep this really cool Lego set but I wanted to return that well that's the deal I give you plastic surgery and give you a new face and I get to keep this Lego set okay fine let's do this yes yes yes all right all right lay on your back I'm going to start cutting face all right the plastic surgery's done rise Lord [Music] Vader where's Padme I'm afraid in your anger you killed her no hey Daddy Jeffy I am your father no oh well that was fun let's get that mask off all right Mario let's see what you look like with that mask off mask off if it mask off oh man how do I look uh you sure do yep what do I look good I mean I wouldn't say that well do I look worse than I did before well no no actually okay so I look better right yeah sure I mean can you tell it it's me oh oh no no I mean you don't look like you at all okay good so I get to keep Jeffy right uh yeah sure I'll just go ahead and lie to myself and say I didn't just give you plastic surgery so I'm not a registered thing that thing no no no that that's fine not anymore yes okay no more peanut bushes so now I can just live a normal life right right and I can go home and play with my giant Lego spaceship with the light up brick so I'll see you all right all right Jeffy how do you think I look hold on Daddy there once was a guy who peed in the bushes and Cy have surgery d a d d y d a d d y d a d d y and Daddy was his name all right Jeffy stop it Jeffy stop it

Channel: Dr. Junior

Views: 728,799

Keywords: sml, sml reuploaded, sml jeffy, sml marathon, smlytp, sml old videos, sml reaction, sml movie, sml ytp, sml animated, sml archive, sml alien, asml, asml movie, sml bowser jr, sml cody, sml chef pepe, cool cody sml, sml drama, dr junior, sml movie 2023, new sml movie 2023, sml movie jeffy 2023, a new sml movie, every sml movie from 2023, sml new movie 2023, best small movies of 2023, sml movies 2022, jeffy's, all jeffy videos, animation jeffy, a new jeffy

Id: 1r6VLW4lUFE

Length: 185min 38sec (11138 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 24 2023