- So as you know, this is
the Sidemen secret. (laughs) (toy squeaking) - Welcome to Secret Santa, ta-ta-ta. - Da-ta-ta-ta. - Da-ta-ta-ta.
- Basically, we're keeping it secret. - Da-ta-ta-ta. - Shush! (JJ screaming) - Right.
- Stop, stop. At least use the. (laughs) At least you wrapped it. There's a hole, yeah, you're effed. - A hole. - All of a sudden, I'm pregnant. - Wait, you? (laughs) - Me and Harry are wrapping presents. Do the wrapping part. I mean, I can guess. - Mine's for Tobi, who's yours for? - I've got JJ. - Oo, okay.
- I got him a couple of things. JJ's a hard one to get
presents for, you know? - I'm intrigued to see what you got him. - Da-ta-ta-ta.
- So we've all bought presents for each other, shut the hell. (JJ screaming and laughing) We've all bought presents for each other. I've got, did I say who I've got? I've got Simon. He's got? - I've got Ethan. - And everybody else has bought presents. We're gonna wrap them,
we're gonna go through the presents quickly,
then wrap them, then yeah. - All right, who'd you get? - I got Vik, who'd you get? - I got Josh. - I got Harry. - No one asked you. (laughs) (Simon and Tobi laughing) - It's Christmas, man. - It is Christmas, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - You've ruined Christmas, haven't you? - Shut up, shut up. ♪ I feel it in my fingers. ♪ - It's a banger, isn't it? - That's, damn it, why
couldn't you pick my present? I bet I've got some awful present. - I got him a steak, 'cause
he's getting wham now. I got him a big ass steak, 50
quid worth of steak this is. - Obviously Ethan recently broke up, so I thought I'd help him
out, and get him a book. (JJ laughing) - I completely forgot to get
my presentee his present, so I woke up at 6:00 o'clock
this morning, Amazon Prime Now. So his present number one
is a mixed leaf salad. Joe Wicks, another book sale there. - Oh mate. (laughs) We were better than this guy
for number one book, remember? - And all of a sudden, I bought his book. - Let's be honest, you've
had that for a while now. (everyone laughing) - I also got him a voodoo doll, which I'm gonna put his face on it, and I can give him baldness, acne. - Wait, mate, you're gonna give it to him? - Yeah.
- Not gonna keep it. - No, I'm gonna give it to him, I want to give it to him
and try and freak him out. - Anyway, yeah. - Oo, how to create the right mindset for rapid attraction. - Obviously, Ethan smells
a lot, so I got him a very good--
- To trap more ladies. - Aftershave, help him
with the ladies, of course. - Geez. - And then he got the classic. - Why did you get? - I lie-- - There's a very hairy gift. - Anti-fog. - Anti-fog for Bog. - Top quality. Do you know these actually, so you know we set a price
limit, these were 17-- - Did we set a price limit? - These were £17. - That's quite expensive. - For goggles, right? (Tobi laughing) And then I bought him a gift voucher. - Gift for where? - For Amazon. - Nice.
- Because, yeah, because I realised that's at least handy, because I've fucked him
here, haven't I, really? - A very good shirt. (laughs) I've done a bit here. - That's such, that's like-- - He's gonna enjoy this one. - This is an old meme now. - Why you coming fast? Why you fucking coming fast? All right, I've just embarrassed myself. - It's a good one, that one. - Cool.
- I like that one. - Stop or we're gonna get copyrighted. - Let him end first, he's
nearly done, he's nearly done. - There's no stop. - No, there's no stop. ♪ You can even ♪ - [Vik] Is he good? - Standard stuff, Fleshlight,
I mean, of course. Of course this was-- - Is it called, it's called Bussy. Instead of pussy, it's Bussy. - Bussy vibration. - Radically change your sex life. - Oh whoa, it's actually
a vibrator as well. Oh what? - (laughs) He's like,
yeah, thank you very much. - Yo, if he doesn't
use it, I'm using this. (laughs) Like if he doesn't
want it, I'm taking it. This is gas. - Oh, is this the scales? - Yeah. - Nice! - You didn't even get
him the good, you know, the Fitbit scales.
- There was a budget, I had a budget! - The Fitbit scales.
- I had a budget. Yeah, no, fuck that. - Right, you know how JJ
falls asleep everywhere? - Yeah. - Like five minutes in
a car, falls asleep. Got him the ultimate travel pillow. - Okay, okay. - Also, I think I'm actually nice to JJ, 'cause I actually got him some presents I think he actually might-- - Oh my God, I've just
seen what's on the bottom. No! (laughs) - Last but not least,
I got him a lens mug. - Is that not for Con? - I guess Con could take it. It's actually really sick. - Does Ethan like cameras? - I mean, he kind of, I mean, actually now he loves them. The amount of times he's taken photos. - That's true, that's true. - There we go, hey, you see. Mind's on another level. - First up, we got him
some fridge magnets. - Oh nice. - Yeah. - Are they custom? - Custom fridge magnets. - Yeah!
- Yeah! Oh my God. (laughs) Oh my God. - From the "Bad Jokes" video. - Oh my God. - It's a full set of "Is it just me?" - He will actually slap them up, like he will slap them up
on his fridge. (laughs) - He's gonna be gassed for this one. - Your presents are sick,
you got some sick presents. - You know he's gonna be gassed up on the Dragon Ball Z crystal ball set. - Okay, okay. - So he can do Dragon Ball Z stuff. Yeah, this one is just like, he like, you know, he'd likes this. - This one, Vik's racist
apparently, but that's what it is. - No, no! I know that JJ likes KFC,
nothing more than that. Got him that, got him the book, and I got him another book. - Okay. - 'Cause you know, he
likes drawing, remember? In the August 25th. - Ah!
(Vik laughing) - For mine, it's like this one, we've got a map of cheeses, and you scrap them off when
you've eaten the cheese, 'cause Simon likes his cheese, all right? - Wait, so there's no cheese in it? - No. - Oh, well that's-- - But I know my audience,
init, he likes cheeses. He can scratch off, oh yeah,
I've had Edam, I've had this. - Next up, I got him a little-- - Oh my God, is it-- - Is it just me mug. (Ethan laughing) - Beautiful.
- Unreal. - Simple.
- Nice. - And then the last present was actually stupid expensive, it was like £80. - Oh look at how big it is. - That's what she said. See that? - Oh wow! - That's all the kids. (Ethan and Tobi laughing) Oh, he's in it, okay, okay. - This is actually lit though. - That's actually sick. - He can hang it. - I wish I'd got Tobi, man. - Yeah, no, that's really cool, bro. - I got him a seal. - Is there anything behind that? - No, it's just a seal. - All right, cool. - It gets my seal of approval. - No. - So then we've got some
glow in the dark condoms. - Okay, now we're talking. - So you know like when
you're having sex-- - Sex.
- In the evening. - Why you coming fast? (laughs) (Josh laughing) Why you coming fast? (both laughing) - Please stop. - The last one is actually
just some eyebrow treatment. - Oh!
- Oh! (laughs) - He'll be gassed. - I know, I know-- - Go write him a voucher.
- I'll write him a little voucher.
- Just wrote a voucher. - I'll just write it.
- Just hand write it. - Okay. - That's really cool. - I got him some eyebrow
threading treatment, so he can-- - I think you should just write him a handwritten note. - I'll write it down, I'll write it down. Vik, I got you. - This is £20 for your
eyebrows, mate, cheers. (laughs) - It is worth about £20. - That's half of one for him. (everyone laughing) - On the topic of penises,
I've got a willy exerciser, so he can get that big pump. (JJ laughing) It's basically like going the gym but for your penis, so
you can lift weights. - I think it's a bit big for him though. - It is quite girthy, to be fair. - Got him the Dragon
Ball Z Saiyan Scouter. - He's gonna be so gassed with the Dragon Ball Z stuff, you know. - The thing is, I recon this has been designed for kids and for girls. - Well it's perfect for JJ then. - So it's not gonna fit
his head though. (laughs) - Here we go. - All right, what'd you get, Simon? - I got him slippers, 'cause he's old. - Classic, classic. - Dead, dead.
- Love that. - I got him an actual candle. - You've actually dadded
him, you've dadded him. - This is my nice present.
- You've actually dadded him. - A Yankee Candle. - It's a Yankee Candle. - These are meant to be really good, no? - I've got a couple. - I got him, it was a vanilla cupcake, 'cause he's the most bland person I know. - Josh is a bit of a cupcake type of guy. - He is the most vanilla person I know. - Oh God. - So I've got some edible anus, 'cause obviously Simon's, I think, more than a year with Talia now, so he can now try and explore new things. So we'll get him to eat
chocolate anus first, and then he can eat-- - The real thing, the real thing. - Yeah, so it's like a training session. - Hey, put your hands up if you eat ass. Let's go. - The cameraman's just like, yeah! - Let's go. - Tryna put Tobi's head
into the voodoo doll. Oh, it's a perfect fit. Nice! All right, what do we give him? Go to hell, that'll get
him, because he's religious. - No! - Go to, no! - No, take it out! - [Harry] Serious genital discomfort. I'll give him serious genital discomfort. - [Vik] You're not nice. - [Harry] We'll give him boils and acne. - What'll get you in the Christmas spirit? A little bit of-- - A deeply lonely life as well. - And then? - And then? - Then I got him a mug too, that says "Number one dad". - Aw! - I went the classic route. I got him grey hair reducing shampoo. - Unreal, yes, yes. - I like it.
- I like that, I like that. - Okay, and we take a rapid increase what's going on here. (JJ laughing) I got him a gimp mask. - This is nasty.
- Again, to spice up his sex life. What you need to do,
imagine Simon in this. It's got a ball gag, a mouth gag in there. - Yo, that's. (laughs) - So you can't do anything. And obviously if Talia is into dogs, or horses, or animals, she can make him not look human, and she
put that on there instead, so then he'd be there, naked
on the floor, with this. I should have gotten a
lead as well, shouldn't I? - I got him a walking stick. (Ethan and Tobi laughing) - So that's a good present. - Wow.
- That's on Amazon, JJ, so you can buy that for yourself. - How much? - Like £15. There's a whole collection of them. - Then I got him the most
bland puzzle I could find. - Gradient. (laughs) - It's 1000 pieces. - Gradient. - And it's a gradient. - Gradient. (laughs) That's the shittest puzzle
I've ever seen in my life. - You know what, you know when I said, "I wish you got me
presents", I take it back. - I'm gonna give him constipation. Accelerated ageing. And I've also, I've bought a coffin to put it in as well. This didn't come with it. - Wow. (laughs) - And we move onto the nicer presents now. - Okay. (laughs) - So Simon's someone
who loves video ideas. He'll talk about videos all the time, so I've got him a search
history video idea, some card game, second
channel, he'll like that, easy. Then I got him some ghost pepper peanuts and some ghost pepper chocolate. Again, easy second channel
video, he'll love that. And then, this is a big
box full of retro sweets from our childhood. - I also bought him a T-shirt that said "Daddy McDad Face"
but it hasn't turned up. And the final thing I got him-- - Wait, there's more? - Or the last thing. - Yeah, Ethan, you fucked it. (laughs) - It was snakes and ladders. - Oh that's cool. - But I was gonna remove all
the snake pieces. (laughs) - Do it, do it, do it.
- So it's just ladders. - Do it, do it, do it, I like it. - That's attention to detail. - That's really good. - And then this is the mystery box. - Bro, he's gone over the top with this. - So I have no idea
what's in the mystery box. - He's done way too much. Look at the size of this. - There could be anything in it. - You know, I found out the other day, I'm not going bald. - No? - Because my brother
has started to recede. - What, is it like a 50/50? - No, 'cause it happened my dad's side of the family, so my dad was the youngest, and he went bald like 20. - Oh, so you're all good. - I'm all good. And his elder brother, he's
still got hair now, so, we figured out, my brother's
now just taking the hit. - So now we're gonna
have to wrap it. (groans) - Can we not hire anyone
to wrap it for us? - Can't we (groans), we have to do-- - How much we gotta pay
you to wrap it for me? - [Con] 100 quid. - 100 quid? 200 and you do both of them? - [Con] Yeah, 200 for both. - I got 200 quid. - Got him. - Now we've gotta wrap this shit. - Yeah, I actually wish I bought him less, 'cause now I've gotta
wrap all of it. (laughs) - I'm sorry, Harry. I'm sorry, that's all
I've got to say here. - Actually no, do you
take a Game rewards card? - [Con] No. - It's got 200 quid on it though. I'll take the camera. Hello, I'm Con. I am wrapping the presents. If you open them up, that's great, yep. - Just do them all in one go. This is gonna be the
easiest £100 I've made. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You get the fuck out of here. No, no, no, stop, stop, stop. - Tape, tape, tape, quick. - No, JJ, don't do it. - Am I out of a job now? - Yeah, you're shit at your job. - Fuck this. - [JJ] Boys. - I feel like I should cross out the price of this steak, right, because you're not supposed to have prices on what you get people for Christmas. - Most definitely not. - It's £50 a kilogramme, and I got him just under a kilogramme of steak. - [Cameraman] What did you buy him? What meat is that? - It's fillet steak. It's a beautiful fillet steak. - [Cameraman] Oh it's like a proper-- - Yeah, I went to the meat counter, and I was like yeah, "Will you
chop me off a block of it?" - Real shame they wouldn't
meet him half way. - Oh my, please, please. - It's got, it's quite aerated. - Aerated? Just pop a hole in it. - I'm going to. - (laughs) God, do it so quick. (Simon laughing) - Bang! Done. - It didn't fit. - [Tobi] You've done it already? - It didn't fit, so he just popped a hole in the bag. (laughs) - So I'm not really good at
this whole wrapping thing. - [Con] We know. (JJ laughing) - Something tells me JJ's wrapping, whoever's wrapping JJ's presents, I recon his wrapping's going to be awful. - Wow, he's a very good
rapper, I'll have you know. He's released a lot of great tracks. - [Josh] I mean, some would
say I wrap better than you, JJ. (wrapping paper crinkling) - I'm gonna wrap this one over and over and over again, so it looks
like a massive present. - It might not be enough. (laughs) (upbeat jazz music) (tape crinkling) - My family, we wrap things to try and look like other things. - That's what I'm about to do. I'm about to go and get a
Sidemen hoodie and wrap. - Well no, as in last
year, we gave my dad, one of the things we gave him was a cigar, so we put two ping-pong balls next to it, to make it look like a penis. - (laughs) That's next level. - Yeah, and then it's a little bit weird when you hand your dad a penis. - I got the classic for
Tobi, had to be done. I tried to order one of those, you know the giant bars of them, but it wasn't gonna arrive in time. - He's gonna be sick of that by now. - Yeah, but I still gotta do it for the-- - I don't know. - For the meme. - Oi, Simon's got that neat wrapping, bro. - Look at him, bro. - Look at that. Simon, could you do me a good? - Yeah. - Could you put your finger just here, 'cause this is very important. Thanks, 'cause this one's
on the edge, oh yeah. Right, yeah go on, move that off, secured. Thanks. - Obviously you've gotta put it in the middle of the wrapping paper. - Yeah obviously, that's what you just do, you just do that, yeah? - Obviously you do this as well. You gotta just put the
left one on the left, and the right one on the right. Shake it about a bit. Do that, do that. Done. - Hey, that's mine! (Simon and Ethan laughing) - Why do people care about
how presents are wrapped? As long as you've got a
present, you should be happy. As long as you can't tell
what it is from the outside, and you got a present,
why should you care? I think, I don't know
why society is made-- - You tell 'em, Vik. You preach it. - I'm gonna wrap this
however I wanna wrap it, and there's no one that can stop me. - Get something shit,
like just a tennis ball, then wrap it up, and
then wrap it up again, wrap it again, and keep wrapping it up, just make a big ball, and
he'll be really excited, what's this, what's this? - No.
- And then. (JJ laughing) Well fucking put a used
condom in there then. Get your cum rag, put that in there. (JJ groaning) - Give us a handy. (Simon and Ethan laughing) Well that was weird, wasn't it? - Just asking for a hand job. - Straight up. - It's the Christmas spirit, it's just got hold of me. - It's all for the bants. Just out here making laughs. Top notch banter, yeah! (tape crinkling) (upbeat music) - Well, I'm done. Merry Christmas, Bog. - Could you hold that a sec? - He'll never know what that is. Fantastic. - I mean, I think you could have just wrapped it once, and he wouldn't have known what it was. (laughs) - Shut up. (laughs) - I am done. - Do you want to wrap one of mine for me? - What have you got? - If you could just wrap that box. - Okay, I shall return. Give me five minutes. - I don't know if you're going to come in a condom, or if you're going. (JJ laughing) I'll just sit here and
carry on wrapping normally. - All right, so I'm pretty
sure we've got condoms. Oh, there we go. Trojan, obviously. Big fan. Ultra thin. Oh, lubricated. - [Cameraman] Yeah, not like thin cock. - Not thin cock, 'cause
I've got a big dick. - [Cameraman] Yeah, 'course. - 'Course. I mean, do you want me to prove it? I do have a big penis. You think that? (cameraman laughing) Oh man, he's gonna be pissed. - [Cameraman] Yeah, it's
got the bit at the end. - Yeah. - [Cameraman] It's got that, legit. - Fam, I've done the dirty, dirty. What do you think? - I guess that can work. - Look at that. I think I could win an award for that. - What, you've done. It looks like it's got a tumour growing out of it, mate. That's horrible. - Done! - Decorate the box. - Okay. - You can just go ham with that. (tape crinkling) For fuck sake. JJ, why? (laughs) Every time. - Why are you, why? - Why did you listen when he said he has an idea? - No, but why is he doing this face? Stop, stop. (laughs) (Simon laughing) Ethan, stop. (laughs) (tape crinkling)
(JJ laughing) (Tobi laughing) - Quite a lot. (tape crinkling) - Right, that's yeah, we've done well. - We've secured the bag. - So now we have to wrap it. - Presents for days, this year. We're living good out here. Are we putting them in a pile, I guess all of one person. - Start, yeah. - Shall we just leave it like this and not wrap it anymore? (Ethan and Tobi laughing) - Hey boys, hey, Merry Christmas. - Where's the label? I'm very tempted. - No, we've gotta put something on it. - Christmas. - Hey? (tape crinkling) - Shall we put our
presents under the tree? - Yeah, where's the tree? - Out there.
- I'm gonna move these. - Yeah, come on then. - Okay, so we've got dad, Josh, papa, meathead, grey haired
fuck, and probably sterile. (Tobi clapping) - Probably sterile. (laughs) ("We Wish You A Merry Christmas") - I mean, just fuck it. - Just do the honours for me. - Yeah, sure. - Sometimes, when your
friends are being impatient, you need that speed. No, that's not the speed I wanted. JJ, I wanted better speed than this. (both laughing) (whacking) - Simon's too neat, look at him. Look how I left my presents
and look at. (laughs) - [Simon] We did it, guys! - Three way. That was mad, wow, wow, delete. - Fuck it, you know
what, I agree, fuck it. (Josh laughing) - Wow. Success! - Merry Christmas, bitches, I'm opening my presents first. Yeah, wow, whoever wrapped
this, I wouldn't know, wow! Jesus Christ. And on the first day of Christmas, "How To Find The Right Woman". (laughs) - Lift it round, let them see. (laughs) (Ethan groaning) (everyone laughing) - Oh. Well that was actually handy. - What? (Sidemen laughing) - Are you saying I smell? - Why are you asking JJ? It's Santa. - It's quite evident
whose writing this is. - It's Secret Santa. - Look at the handwriting. What does that even say? (laughs) - That's the first one I saw. Bro, that's the first one I saw, and I was like, oh. This is just paper. (laughs) - Please tell me he has. Wait, wait no, no. - What is it? - [Simon] What is it, what does it say? - I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Disgusting. (Ethan laughing) It's a used condom.
- It's a condom. - Oh, what? - It's one of my used condoms. - Why? (JJ laughing) - But we still don't
know who gave it to you. (JJ laughing) (Sidemen laughing) Init, we all said whoever gets JJ is getting a Fleshlight. - Let's go! - Soft touch material, feels
better than the real thing. (Sidemen laughing) - That's pretty gas, actually. - I don't need this, if I've got this. I don't need that if I've got this. - He's laughing, but we all know he's going home to use it. - Yeah, yeah, do it, son. (JJ laughing) - [Josh] That's dead. - What is it? - Is it a lens mug? - Yes, it's a mug, that's a lens. - That's quite cool. (Sidemen laughing) - Brilliant. - Don't smell it. - Don't sniff it. - Don't smell it. - [Simon] Go on, open it. - I don't want to.
- Open it up. - It's got cum in it
or something, ain't it? - No, just open it, open it. - Promise him it doesn't have cum on it. - There's no sperm on it, that I know of. (cameraman laughing) - [Simon] Oh no. (cameraman cheering) - Why you coming fast? (everyone laughing) Yeah, I thought it was
a cumming T-shirt, yeah! - [Simon] It is a cumming T-shirt. - Coming fast.
- It is a cumming T-shirt. - You should have just
spunked underneath it. - Why you coming fast? (JJ laughing) - I've had a great Christmas. - Oo, I've got loads. Some goggles! They fit well, they're
the right size, okay. (Sidemen laughing) Cabbage! Oh no, it's lettuce. Seasonal leaves, I hate
leaves, with a burning passion. - What's going on? (laughs) - Oi, oi! - Oh! - [Josh] (laughs) You got him a salad. - Oh, this looks interesting. £50 Amazon gift card! That's actually pretty sick,
I'll take that, I'll take that. - So someone just midway gave up. (Sidemen laughing) - I spent 50 quid, fuck it. (JJ laughing) There you go.
- I'll take it, I'll take it. - [JJ] Buddy. - Oh, what the fuck? The fat loss diet plan. (laughs) - (laughs) Oh no! I'm seeing the connection
between these things. - Oh I know why you gave me a salad now. Oh, it makes sense, okay, okay. (Sidemen laughing) - [JJ] What is it? What is it? - Scales. What the fuck? - [JJ] They're sick presents, mate. - Wait, so what's the book? What's the book? - The book's fat loss. The scales so I can keep off my fat loss. This is healthy food. The gift card is at least something nice. - That's your nice present. - Well thank you, Santa. (Sidemen laughing) The most disappointing Christmas ever. (Sidemen laughing) - I know he actually wants something sick. - Oh my God, oh my God. - [Simon] What does that say? What does that say? It says a KFC recipe. - [Josh] Yeah. (laughs) - What's the other one? - A drawing book. (Sidemen laughing) - And you was disappointed. - I can't, what the hell? - Was he expecting--
- I have to draw my own thing. - It is a drawing book, what
do you wanna do with it? - I don't-- - [Cameraman] You love drawing. - August the 25th. (laughs) (Sidemen laughing) - [Simon] That's pretty good. - [Harry] Oi, you are so ungrateful. - Fuck you. - (laughs) My ribs hurt. (groans) - [Harry] (laughs) What the fuck? - What the fuck is this? - Harry, you should be happy with yours. You should be happy. - What? - [Simon] Why you looking at me? I didn't get this for you, this wasn't me. (Sidemen laughing) - A travelling pillow. (Sidemen laughing) - The ultimate travel pillow. - Yeah, but I sleep
anyway, I don't need this. - I can tell. You haven't got to tell me who it was. Have a guess who got
your presents for you. - I think I know who it is. - I think it was Vik. (Sidemen laughing) It's gotta be you, init? (Sidemen laughing) Oh, what? Oh this is actually sick! - Oh wow. - It's got the scouter. - Oh, okay. - Put it on, put it on. - I'll rate this. - You're gonna wake up tomorrow and go down to the kitchen,
he's gonna be wearing that. - He's gonna be there going,
"I found the salad". (laughs) - His expression changed so quickly. - He's like (gasps) "That's
actually sick". (laughs) - [Harry] Bro. - [Cameraman] Oh! - Oh! Oh shit! Oh shit. All right, you 100% know he's
having sex with this on, 100%. - Regina, what does the scouter level say? - Located the pussy. - You got me dragon balls! Oh this is sick! Aye, yo, aye, it started
off shit, but then. - You can make KFC and play Dragon Ball Z. - And you can be
comfortable while doing it, with your little toy. - [Simon] Yeah! (Sidemen clapping) - Merry Christmas. - Yay! - Is this it? - Probably got more.
- Is it all in one? At least he's got one, okay. So maybe it'll be something really good. Is it just one? - Why are you so ungrateful, fam? - Wait, you should check, check. - Stop being ungrateful, man. - Is this the West Ham robe? - [JJ] Oh my God. - Did somebody forget to buy presents? - [JJ] Oh my God. - He's an idiot, he's
an idiot, he's an idiot. - Yeah but why's it in the West Ham robe? - But what?
- But what, but what? - [Simon] It's just wrapping. (Sidemen laughing) - Ethan, Josh tried to give this to you. - I don't want it, I
didn't know it was mine. - [Simon] Oh, what could it be? - But it's getting smaller. - [Josh] It's like JJ's but better. - It's getting smaller. I had a present this big. - That's what he said. - Fam, the power up on that
present is not good. (laughs) - Oh my. He's a super villain. - He looks so unhappy. - What is that?
- What is it? - Is this fridge magnets? Mate. Is it all the. (laughs) - It's Vik style fridge magnets. - [Vik] I rate that, I rate that. - [Ethan] Is this me? (laughs) - Did I get them, oh. (Josh laughing) (Sidemen laughing) - I feel like you may
have one more present, that you haven't spotted yet. - I think you've got one more present, that you haven't looked for.
- You may have one more. - [Ethan] This is pretty cool. - It's not, is it just me? This is sick.
- That's sick. - That's actually sick.
- Oh my God. - [Harry] That's very sick. - That's amazing. - That's the bets
Christmas presents so far. (Sidemen clapping) That's going up in the flat. - Straight up.
- Tinder bio, once scored at Charlton. - You said. - Takes girls back to his, he's like, yeah, I scored a penalty. (laughs) - Greater conversion rate than Messi. - (laughs) Fuck sake. - Oh, throw his presents. - Bro, you unappreciative fuck. - Are they fragile? They don't say fragile. You put fragile on if it's fragile. - You're fragile, you're old. - I assume this is mine. - [JJ] Odds on you slam
dunking it right now. - This one says "Probably sterile". (Sidemen laughing) I'll open the one that says my name first. - Bro, whoever wrapped
these has got teccers, compared to the rest of us. Look, look at this shit. - Fam. I got snakes and ladders, but
they crossed out the snakes. (Sidemen laughing) There's only ladders. (Sidemen laughing) Even the instructions have it as well. Let's go for meathead,
I think that's also me. - Meathead. - Oh my God. (laughs) It's a folding coloured walking stick. - Oh no! Oh no! - Wait, it folds as well, you know. - Collapsible. - It's portable. I can take it out. - [JJ] Oh my God. (Sidemen laughing) - Wait, how do I fold it back? (laughs) I tell you, man, I can go
out with some old ladies, like, you wanna go for a walk? (Sidemen laughing) - Yeah, you're protected. - (laughs) All right, this is sick. - Oh! - Ow! (dramatic music) I just got pinged in the eye. I could have gone blind. - Sorry mate.
- You fucking prick. - You fucking blind. - What's this? It says quips and quotes. - He's wearing his, you wear yours. - I want goggles. - Got a "World best dad" mug. (laughs) - [Simon] Aw! - This person appreciates me so far. (laughs) Oh no. (Vik laughing) This could be helpful, maybe. This is grey reducing shampoo. (laughs) This is a gas Christmas. Probably sterile, okay. Fuck it, I got slippers. - [JJ] Should have left
them getting bigger. - (laughs) Gas! - Look at this. - Santa's happy. - He's gas. - What's going on here then? This one says dad. (Sidemen laughing) - [JJ] All right. - He just yeeted Simba. - [JJ] Damn! - (laughs) This is gas. (Sidemen laughing) I got a Yankee Candle as well. Oi, I'm out here. I even got a puzzle, this is gas. - [Vik] Why has he got all nice presents? He's done this. - Well thanks Santa, whoever it was. (Sidemen clapping) - It's easier to get up. - Go on, mate. Come here, son. - [Sidemen] Oh! - I got an edible anus. (Sidemen laughing) That's gas. - I mean, I eat the real thing anyway, so. - [Simon] Oh, so you don't need this. - No I don't need it, I'm good. - Do you wanna get a close up of what an edible anus looks like? - [Cameraman] Zooming, I'm in. - [Simon] All right, you ready? - Bro. - Oh!
- That was close. - That was my bad, that
was my bad, it was me. - Open up for the bum hole. (Sidemen cheering) - I just love arse. - Jesus. - He didn't even go for it. (Josh yelling) - Get the walking stick to help. - See, this was literally
the first search. Someone literally just
went on gifts for men, and went on the first search. It's a willy exerciser. (Sidemen laughing) Do you recon your penis
can get a six pack? - [Ethan] Bulking. - Penises don't bend like that. (Sidemen laughing) All right, next present. Search history, what's in
your friend's search history? It's a video idea. - Damn. (JJ laughing) - It's actually the best present. - [Ethan] Oo! - Glowing condoms, that's gas! Oh, you have to shine a
light on them for 30 seconds. So I've just gotta stand there. (Sidemen laughing) I'm charged up! - [Ethan] That reindeer's
dead, look at it. It's died. (laughs) The reindeer's dead. - [Tobi] Oh, that face, that face. - [Harry] Oh man. (Simon laughing) - What is it? - I kind of want everyone
to turn away, so I can. Everyone turn away.
- All right then, turn away. - Okay, you have to promise not to. - [Josh] When do we look? - [JJ] Say when to. - Okay, honestly, don't
look, it'll be worth it. (sidemen laughing) - Hey, get off my book. I need to find the right woman. (JJ laughing) Get off! - Oh, no wait, this fell out. Oh wait, I'll leave it out, fuck it. Three, turn around in three, two, one. - Oh my God! Oh my God! (laughs) (Sidemen laughing) My God. - Oi, do I look like Jeremy Lynch? (Sidemen laughing) - Geez! What the fuck? - Yeah, take my ear off. - That's so scary. - That's the best present so far. - You totally want this. - I want to investigate. - Give me, give me! (JJ laughing) - Let me investigate it first. - Go and have your salad. (JJ laughing) - Mate, after my presents,
the least you could do is give me your fucking Fleshlight. (Sidemen laughing) - Is this a bucket list
for cheese? (laughs) - [Tobi] Oi, that's a very you present. - That's actually incredible. - I didn't know there
was that much cheese. - Is there cheese underneath? - No. - Not an advent calendar. (laughs) - Fam, have you seen how thin it is? Where's the cheese? - What's it say? - So it says the type of cheese. It says like-- - Oh I couldn't read underneath it. - Gorgonzola, then you scratch it off. - I couldn't see it, I couldn't see it. - That's actually sick. Solo retro box. Bro, ah! Gas! - [Tobi] Let me see,
let me see, let me see. Wow! Oh. - [Simon] My boys. - [Tobi] Is that a Flump? - I'ma have a sugar rush, and have the best sex of my life. - Let me look at that. (Sidemen laughing) - Hey, you're ruining. - Get some of this. Get in there. - Oh my leg, my leg! (Sidemen yelling and laughing) My leg! - Hang on, hang on, I need to get there. (Sidemen laughing) - Ghost pepper peanuts. - [Tobi] Yo. - Simon video, coming up soon. Oh God. - [Josh] We don't know what it is. It's a mystery box. - What? - [Josh] It's a mystery box. - You bought a mystery box? - [Josh] Yeah. (laughs) (Sidemen laughing) - Fam, there's bare. - Harry is pissed. (laughs) - Harry's the real loser. - Harry, do you want to
come open this with me? - Yes please. (Sidemen laughing) Oh my God! - There you go. - There is a carpenter level. - Nice, always useful.
- Wow. - Stick on tattoos. Laptop cover. A zout dispenser. - [Vik] (laughs) There you go, that's a bit of you. - Oh no, it's in a different language. - That's a bit of you, mate. - Zout and pepper dispenser. - Salt and pepper. - Oh okay. (Sidemen laughing) Ice shot moulds. - Nice.
- Oh! - Sin City mirror. - That's a bit of you, Harry. - A tablet case. Star Wars baubles. - You like balls, here you go. - Yeah. - They can go with the Dragon Balls. - What the? - A brass hammer. (Sidemen laughing) - Oi, that's sick. - Oh no, be careful. - Oh shit. - Oh no, no, no, no. - Does this not work? - Have this, here you go. - No, no, no. (JJ laughing) - No, he smashed it. - Oh, I actually broke it. Okay. Okay, let's clear up as well. - [Vik] So you've lost
your salad and your scales. - [JJ] Listen. - [Tobi] Harry, harry,
look, bits are falling out. - [Ethan] That's pretty cool. - We've got a three in one universal clip lens, for an iPhone. "Doom", the film. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles". Did you choose the nerd box? This is the basket for a bike. (laughs) - [Sidemen] Oh! - You can put it on your electric bike. - [Sidemen] Yeah! - I'm not a middle aged woman. - No, you are now, Gail. - Gail! (laughs) - That's my mom's name. Well, I'm happy with mine. - Oi, if this is what I think it is, I love whoever the person is. - [Simon] It's a Fleshlight. (Sidemen laughing) - I'm scared. I'm very scared. - Open your mouth. - Shit.
- No! - It's a gag ball. - I don't want a gag
ball in my mouth, mate. - Ethan, do it. (Josh laughing) - [Tobi] You just have
to put it in your mouth? - [Josh] Yeah. (Sidemen laughing) - This is the thing that
you put under the tap and it does the gobble noise. Oh, I love that, I actually love that. - [Simon] Isn't that
the one from the video where it's like 100 of them? - Oh my God, bruv, you're
wearing that the whole time? - I don't care about your
past or your history. (laughs) - [Vik] It's gonna be a Toblerone. (JJ laughing) - [Simon] I need the contact lenses. - This one just feels like a bag of sand. Oh, hello. It's a bag of something. - Oh, it's just cocaine. (Sidemen laughing) - [Harry] It's a piece of meat. - It's a steak. (Tobi and JJ laughing) - It's a, what? It's not, it's a Waitrose fillet steak, I'll have you know. (JJ laughing) - I wonder who bought this. A dynamic microphone. (Vik laughing) Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. (Tobi yelling) - What is it? Fam, what is it? (Tobi laughing) - [Vik] He gave you some bad ones. He gave you some bad ones, swear down. - Oh my God, is that voodoo, fam? Fam, is that a voodoo? - Yeah. - And a fucking coffin. - Bruv! - Fuck you! - Shit.
- He picked the bad ones. - [JJ] That's actually nuts. No, that's nuts, man. - Baldness. - Oh my God.
- Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God! - That's some joojoo shit. - Chronic flatulence, baldness,
serious genital discomfort, deep lonely life, boils and acne. - Hey, you need to pray. - You're in trouble, mate. - I'm praying already, man. Get that away from me, bruv! - You need to pray. - Merry Christmas. - Jesus Christ. - Everyone. - Mate. - Hey, Toblerone! - Yeah, we hungry out
here, bitch. (laughs) - Two of 'em, I love it. - Oh, come on then. - Oh well he's got two,
it's fine, don't worry. - Thank you, thank you for the chocolate. - [Vik] Open the basket! (toy squeaking) - Is it, what, is it just a
bigger one of the other one? It fucking is, it fucking is. Unreal. - Tobi might have the worst. Tobi might have the worst. (laughs) (toy squeaking) - [Vik] Simon's presents
are just everywhere. - Oh no, I'm worried. Oh, this is cute. - It's better than that. ("Christmas Is All Around" by Billy Mack) ♪ I feel it in my fingers ♪ - [Vik] Does it only have one tune? - [Simon] This is what Harry wanted. ♪ I feel it in my toes ♪ - Remember? (toy squeaking) - Why has it only got one tune? ♪ Christmas is all around me ♪ ♪ And so the feeling grows ♪ - Can we kill him? - Don't kill it!
- No! No! - Merry Christmas everyone, from a guy with this on his head. - Bro, you didn't even get
me a proper Fleshlight. This one's like a rim or like, I can't even get into the back of it. - Shut up and let the outro play. ♪ There's no beginning ♪ ♪ There'll be no end ♪ ♪ Because on Christmas you can depend ♪ - [JJ] No! (Sidemen laughing) No. - [Ethan] Who kicked it, who kicked it? (upbeat music)
