- Today, I will be splitting the Sidemen into two teams and sending half of them
to an extremely nice hotel. The other half, however,
will not have it so lucky. Where will they head? You'll find out soon. But first, let's hear the teams. So you want to know your teams? - Yes, please.
- Yes! - Not Josh, not Josh, not Josh. - Why?
- Not Josh, not Josh. - Why? - Tobi, swap with Josh, quick. - Okay, okay.
- Cool. - Oh god.
- Harry. - Yeah? - Swap with Ethan, quick! - No! - Okay, okay. - It's not looking good for you. - Oh no. - I'll be KSI. - Oh! - Beast! These are our teams. - Oh! - For f... No!
- Why? - Tobjizzle, he's blessed. - Nah, but it has to end at some point. - You've never had a good team before? - This is my time.
- sh*t. - Josh has never had a good team. - I texted you the time you need to be at the airport tomorrow. Very early, I'm sorry. But... Try and have some fun. - Yes!
- Oh! Yay!
- Come on! - Yeah! Tobjizzle!
- No! - Hey, everyone. We're at the airport. - Yes, sir. - Let's go. - Hello, we are at Heathrow. It's very early in the morning. - It's an ungodly hour.
It's an ungodly hour. - But we are on the red team, apparently. And there is an envelope in front of us. - Aw! - "Early mornings might
make you feel sick." - Yup. - "But the cure is the
fresh air in Zurich." - Wait, I literally- - You literally just got back from there. - Just got back from there. - I'm not even joking. - Ain't no way. [laughs] - The first word is "sorry". [Josh laughs] - Oh no! Oh no! - Oh no, but I wanna be positive. Today is my day.
- Read that sh*t. Read it, read it, read it. - Well, no, it says,
"Sorry it's so early." - Okay.
- "That the sky is lightless. But prepare yourself for
the heat as you head..." It is what I f*ckin' said it is. - It's the worst. It's the worst possible
thing it could've been. - Ayia Napa? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no! - Zurich is rich people.
- Why you complaining? - Zurich is lit. Bro, it's expensive. It's silly.
- He knows. He's just been. - Money! - If he's calling it
expensive, I have no problems. - Bro, bro, bro, bro. - And also, he started... [Tobi gasps] Look, bro's got Zurich money. - Bro, it's spenny. - Oh my God. This guy is so rich. - What? [JJ laughs]
- This guy is... - Hey, get yourself something nice. - Yeah, yeah, oh, sick. Yeah, yeah, bro, I-
- Let's go. - Oh, we're finished. - Oh, we are. - It's a five hour flight!
- Oh, we're finished. - Is it five? It's not five hours. - It's long, it's long. It's long.
- It's not five hours. - It's by f*ckin'... It's next to Syria. [Vik laughs]
- It's so bad! - I'm not even joking, I swear
to God, it's next to Syria. Oh no. - We're going to Ayia
Napa, I guarantee it. - We're going to the Napa
Strip as 30 year old men. [Vik laughs]
Oh, we're done. - Can we stay positive? There's some good places in Cyprus. - Bro, we're cooked. - There's a nice side of Cyprus. - We're finished, we're finished. - We're finished.
- We're finished. - We're finished. - It's nice.
- It's not. - What, you're gonna send
us to f*ckin' Ayia Napa to go to, no, we're going to Ayia Napa to go to the strip in Ayia
Napa and get fingered by fans. [all laughing] - I don't wanna be fingered. - How do you say it properly? Zoo-rich. Zoo-rick. But I know this place is nice. And you know what's even better about it? I'm with my friends. Working, as colleagues. [Tobi laughs] - Okay, so the mood's very
high at the business lounge. [Josh laughs] - Well, boys, I figured, I figured. - Oh, you're the best. - The spirits are very high. - Is that for us? - Got us a champagne. - A toast to the filthier
strip in the planet. - Cheers, boys.
- Cheers to that. - Can I say, I've never been more- - Terrified, you're terrified. - Horrified. Unless my life was endangered
in a war-torn place, there's not a single place on the planet I would less want spend my night than the Ayia Napa strip in peak season. - We're gonna be like zoo animals, and I feel like a p*edophile there. [Vik laughs] I'm a 30 year old man in Ayia Napa. - Do you know what though, genuinely, the last time I was in
Ayia Napa, I got mugged. [Josh and Harry laughing] I got my phone robbed out of my own hand. So, honestly, if Simon
sent me back to Ayia Napa, he's actually invoking trauma within me. - However- - Josh is coping. - See, I'm here trying to
keep maintain that positivity. Guess where JJ's going on Friday? - I don't know. - Larnaca. Why would KSI go on a holiday somewhere where there's nowhere good? Actively choosing to go there. It's JJ, he picks the craziest of hotels. I double checked on the calendar. I was like, I swear he's going Cyprus. - He's going to Cyprus. - So maybe there is a chance. - This is the best theories
he's come up with so far. - Yeah, I've been really
clutching at straws here. Like, anything I can think
of, I've been trying. - Well, normally I'm on
PJs, you know what I mean? - Yeah, you actually are. - But we humbling myself. - KSI off camera said
he's "slumming it" today. - No, no, no, just... [JJ and Ethan laughing] - I can't trust my friends anymore. So yes, we're going to
an expensive location, but I feel like there's
a twist in the tale. ♪ Just trying to stay positive ♪ - I genuinely hope the plane has like a- - No! Shush! - Horrific mechanical failure. - Hey, Harry. How you feelin'? - Depressed. Very depressed. - You know what I really hope? I hope you're DJing in a club. - Yeah, go on. - Psh! All sorts. - If they give me one
smoke machine, I'm gone. - Yeah. And we as your hype men, behind you. If that's the case, top tier. We go into the club through the back door, and be like, "Right,
Vikkstar is DJ'ing tonight." Crowd goes mild. [Vik laughs] And then you hit 'em with
a set, then it goes wild. T-shirt cannons, all sorts. Free Sidemen T-shirt. [Vik laughs] [lighthearted music] - I mean, last time I was in Switzerland, it was a bit more sunny. I don't know why it's
so wet and miserable. It literally looks like London. - I'm gonna be wet later
when we're in the good hotel. - There's some good parts. Fantastic parts. - Bro, this place is bougie, man. - And then there's some not so good pots. Oh, another let-tar. - "Prepare for the
worst and just be ready, get in the car and head to The Chedi." In brackets, "Do not Google." Oh no! - Prepare for the worst. - So, can we... Gimme the name of another search? Can we Bing it? - It might be the craziest
of like, villas here. Like, crazy, like 30 million. - But that's not a hotel. - Doesn't matter. They rent
it out as a hotel room. Like an Airbnb, but they
rent out as a hotel. And he was like, "You
know what? Harry, Vikk-" - You're coping so hard. Should we rename Josh? Should we rename Josh "Captain Cope"? - "Captain Cope". [Vik laughs] The cope's only gonna last... I think once we open this letter,
I think the cope finishes. [Vik chuckles]
I think the cope is done. - We have arrived in the oven. - Yes now, okay. We have our next envelope. - Before you open it, before you open it. - I've opened it now. - We take positive though, right? - Yeah, of course. - Look, it's open, so you can
ingest some energy into it. - In all situations, we remain positive. - He's drawn a little sun on
it. You can see that, yeah. - This is not gonna give
away anything, by the way. - There is sun. - "Welcome to the sun,
hope you're still awake. Things may look bleak,
but it could be fake." - What?
- Okay, that's a double fake. - "Go relax and have a shower, so there's no smell at your hotel. Simos Magic Hotel." - That doesn't sound good. - A magic hot- - Simos Magic Hotel sounds dreadful. - And it says "Do not Google". - That sounds long. - God damn it. Prepare for the worst. Not a good sign. Or maybe he's just trying to troll us. Maybe he says prepare for the worst, but it's actually the best. [JJ chuckles] What the is a "Chedi"? - The Chedi. - Stay steady till we get to Chedi. - Maybe it's a cheese factory. - Yeah... Oh, no, a cheese hotel. - Swiss cheese. Oh my God, it's-
- Oh no! - Dare I say, I feel like we
came left out of the airport, and I wonder if left is- - I'd already worked that out. Napa's left. - Really?
- It's not. - It is. - No, that says you face the water. - That's right, no? - No, Napa's further down
the coast in here, is it not? - Yeah, but it would be right. It's right- - It's right out of the airport. Yeah. - No... Where's the sea?
- Yeah. If the sea's behind us, it would be right. - No, I thought the sea was over there. - No, we're heading inland. Wait, no, that did say Napa straight on. - Aw...
[Harry laughs] [Vik and Harry groaning] - Me and Tobjizzle have a theory. It's a cheese hotel. Swiss cheese. It's gonna be cheese. - This is his dream. - Yeah, but it's not be gonna good. We're gonna be honking of mozzarella and- - Oh, bro, I love the smell of mozzarella. - Yeah. Cheese ain't bad. - I love... Oh, me gusta! - "I love the smell of mozzarella." - However, a cheese cannot massage me. - I would call my own little
brother a nonce for being here. [Josh laughs] And he's my little brother to me. And yet I am going to the Napa strip. I shouldn't be there. It's like 16 year olds in that there. - Bro! We're gonna catch a case. We're gonna catch a case out there. - I don't know what you're talking. - What intention? There's no intention,
anything can happen on that, you never know. - What are you possibly
getting into that could happen? - Bro, I might get attacked,
and then they'll be like... Oh, I don't know. [crew laughing] - I sucked a man's nipple on Vik's stag. - Confessions that didn't
need to be made, part one. [Tobi and Ethan laughing] [JJ chuckles] I felt bad for him. - The thing is, you were
literally going at everyone like, "Come on then! Someone do it! f*ck it, I'll do it! Bring it here, bring the nipple!" [Tobi chuckles] - Go on, say something positive, Vik. - No, I ain't got nothing. I got nothing. - I should've shaved
my beard before I came. I should've shaved my beard. - Just to blend in.
- What, to look younger? - Yeah. - Are you trying to catch a case? Is that the...
[all laughing] - What's going on? - I'd feel less out of place though. - To be fair though, at
least like in Ayia Napa, the ratio's like 90-10. It's 90% guys, so we're fine. - I might get lucky
tonight with a young boy. [Vik laughs]
- f*ckin' fantastic. - Don't say that. - Why are you saying that?
- Don't say that! [mellow music] - What would you do if
I just got hard now? I just showed you all. - I'd just-
- He would just go... [Tobi laughs] Boing. [Tobi and JJ laughing] Con, what would you do if all of us just- - Got hard. [Tobi laughs] - What would you do? - I'd definitely crack on with filming it. I'd have to get my macro lens out. - Oh, nice. I like it. Yeah, good. - Camera joke. - There's a Hard Rock Cafe Cyprus here. - Oh, yes! Give me a Messi burger. - Yeah, that's what I just
saw. The Messi burger. - I'm gonna jump off a
hard rock later tonight. [Josh and Harry laughing] Into another hard rock. - I need some hard rock to
get me f*ckin' through it. [Vik laughs]
- Oh, God! - I've been to the gym
twice since Tomorrowland. Both days. - I brought my f*ckin' pushup board. - Oh, I'll do some pushups with you. - Oh my God. What, to get the guns
out for the f*ckin' boys? [Vik and Josh laughing] - Get a quick pump in. Pump before the strip. Pumpin'. All we're gonna hear
is, "Why are you Napa? I swear you're bare old." - We're gonna get pedo chants. They're gonna be like "pedo!" It's gonna happen.
- No, no, no, no, no. - They will! Look at his beard, man! Look at...
[Vik laughs] Look at it, we're finished. - Yeah, I just really need to wee. No, bro. I can't do it. I would have to stop. - Okay, Ethan. - Piss in the bottle. [all laughing] - I know what you're getting at. [Tobi and JJ laughing] - Oh, this is gonna be something special. - They're gonna know all of us, bro. - Can we get prosthetics? - I thought you were about
to say something else then. [Vik laughs] - Prostitutes? - f*ckin' hell, mate. - It ain't that dire yet. [Vik laughs] We haven't even seen the hotel yet. To be fair, a prostitute
might be at the hotel. - "No, don't go there." [Vik and Josh laughing] - Oh my God, guys. - Are we here? - Oh, wow! - Are we here? - Oh, oh! - No, no, no, no. The locationing is narrowing down. - We're getting more and more- - More specific. - It's gonna happen any minute now, yeah. - Nah, we've dubbed. We've dubbed! - Is that it?
- I've seen it. - You've seen it? What do you mean? - That's it, that's it. - Wow.
- No, no, no. - Simos Hotel Magic Apartments. - It's not even... Oh, it's, wow.
- It literally is it. - Oh!
[intense EDM music] - We're dumb. All right, GG guys. - Bro, we're actually on the strip. - GGs. - Okay.
- GG. [whimsical music] - Oh my god! - We're getting welcomed! - Yes! - This that upper echelon sh*t. - Valet! - Yes! [Tobi laughs] Woo! - Yes! - Hey, look. All right. It's looking up, boys. - It's got a swing. - I hope it breaks, and he
falls and hurts himself. - You know how many dons
f*cked on that swing? - Huh? - I bet dons had sex on that swing. - I probably shouldn't touch it, should I? [Josh chuckles] - You're gettin' tetanus off up thing. - Mm! [Ethan grunts] [JJ moans] - Okay, stop that. You're
ruining my experience. - Sign me in. [Ethan chuckles] Yes! - Now we talking. - Oh, yes. - Yes! - Oh, what a lovely day for it too. Fam.
- Yeah? - Five stars. - Five stars.
- And a crown. What? - Oh, wow. Oh, let's go. - Just one key. One key for a couple. - One key.
- Couple of boys. - We have one key. - One key. - Oh, wait, are you telling
me we're on the f*cking- - Yes. - Aw, we have a cat. - We are at risk of robbery and death. - I wanna get my penis hard. [Tobi and JJ laughing] - f*ck it, bro. f*ck it. - I'm straight as an arrow. - We're in a five star establishment. Leading hotels of the world. I've spat. - Get in before the public see us entering this room. - By the way, this door- - Open the f*cking door. - I'm just saying, I'm just saying. You see this? This is where a crowbar
has gone in several times, and that's why the paint
is just chipped here, so. - Yeah. - This apartment has
been broken into before. - Oh, there we go. - A washing of cold air. - Oh.
- It's a good start. [Josh] Yeah, well, get in it then. Oh my... - Oh f*cking hell. - Did you see that? - Oh f*cking hell.
- Did you see that? - Is that for us? - Yes, absolutely it is. - The chocolate? - Absolutely. House made. - Oh, it smells delicious. Mm. Smells and taste like success. Oh, I just feel so rich right now. So rich and powerful. - There's been atrocities
committed in this room, I'm sure of it. - Yeah, we're sleeping together though. - Oh, you lot are gonna
suffer more than... [Harry snores] - By the way, by the way... It smells. - Of what? - Just let me go in the room,
man. I'm f*cking boiling! Open the room!
- It's cold in there, right? - Oh, that's good, it locks itself, so we can lock ourselves out easily. - I don't think it locks itself, I just think you need to push it. You've upset the cat. - Sorry, cat. [Vik chuckles] - I might actually cry. [JJ slurps] - You're suffering from success? - Yeah. [Ethan chuckles] Ah, this is how it feels... To always- - I just wish you guys
could experience this. - For real, man. I wish the other team
could experience this. - I wonder what the other guys are up to. [JJ and Ethan chuckling] - Is that A/C turned on? - No. - Let's see what vibes it's giving. Oh, it doesn't... Oh. Oh, it just doesn't... What? - Nah, there's probably a remote some... Is there a remote somewhere? - Oh no!
- Oh yeah! - Wait, no. The A/C has to work.
- Oh yes! - Wait, no, no, no, no. Give me the A/C remote or
I'm gonna kill someone. - No air conditioning! - I'm gonna kill someone. No! - Check all the cupboards!
- No, please! - Check the cupboards! - f*ck! - Where is it?
- Where is it? f*ckin'...
- Oh my. - No, I don't want
glasses, I want air con! - Please! - Where's the holder? What? - There's a fridge. - Oh my god, yeah, there's no air- - That fridge is vile. I feel like I need to, like... [Josh laughs] I have hand sanitizer, I'm just gonna just slather
myself in hand sanitizer. [calming piano music] - You have to pay extra for the air con. [Vik and Harry groaning] - How much extra? - There's not enough budget, I'm afraid. - We're the Sidemen. - No, you're taking the piss. - We've got 20 million subs! - No, no, no. I have cash, I brought cash. I guess it's 'cause of the
f*ckin' electricity bill, they want like more- - Yeah, 'cause it costs a lot, doesn't it? - How much do I need to
pay for the electricity? I have my own money. I work for this. Allow me to pay my way
out of this, please. Will they take 20 euro? [calming piano music] - Her face, bro. [Ethan chuckles] [Tobi laughs] He's expressing himself. He's expressing through
interpretive dance. And for that, you've got to respect. - Oh, here we go! It's got a pool. - Really? - Oh my God. - Oh, no, no, the sister hotel has a pool. [Vik laughs] - That's the Magic Beach
Hotel, we're at the apartments. - All cocktails three pound each. - This is as bright as it gets in here. - Ah. - We're living good, baby. [Ethan laughs] We're living real good. I legit couldn't be assed for
a one star ass hotel, bro. I'm KSI, bro.
[Ethan and Tobi laughing] I fly private jets left, right and centre. And you're gonna put
me in a one star trash? [Tobi laughs] - All right, all right,
all right, all right. [Harry yells] We are locked in. If anyone can make this a good time, we're gonna make this a good time. Let's get changed, let's get some weather
appropriate clothing on, let's go out and let's get a bev. - It doesn't seem like the only way. - What else are you gonna do? You're gonna sit here and capitulate? - Fester. Yeah, no, it's a good- - All right, let's get active. - I don't wanna leave my sh*t in here. - Maybe we bring it with us, honestly. - Walking around with
my suitcase everywhere. - I'm putting all my
valuables in my backpack and bringing it with me. All right, let's get ready. Come on boys, let's get active. - Oh, oh!
- 205. - Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Go, go, go, go, go. - Go on, do it. Oh, yeah. Oh! [upbeat soulful music] [upbeat soulful music continues] Oh - My God! - Brother, brother, brother, brother. Which way do we go? - Bro, it's a maze. I don't know what to do. - Which way do we go? - I might get naked, bro. - Bro, chill out. [Ethan laughs]
Chill out, chill out. - Where do we go? - I think you should go that way. - This way. In here? - Oh my God! - Oh, wow. - Whoa, look at this! - A backpack! - Aye, shut up! - Ooh, wow, a backpack. - Oh, look at this bathroom! Oh wow. - Brother, the wardrobe into the bathroom into the... [Tobi sings] Where's the lights? - Can we get the lights on, please? - There should be an iPad in every room where you can control the lighting. - There's an iPad in every room. - There's an iPad- - To control the lights, of course. - Every room you can
control from the iPad. - Okay. Look at that. - So, air conditioning. - Oh my God. Bro, you can control
everything with the iPad. - You can listen to your music. - Oh my God. - Yes, yes, yes! - Nah, we've actually won! - We made it, we made it, we made it, we made it, we made it, we made it, we made it, we made it, we made it! - Yes! - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. - Yes! - The worst thing is, this
is the best bit of the day. Just chilling in the air con
f*ckin' room, with the boys. I don't wanna go out there
with all the f*ckin'- - Noise. Ugh. With the other boys, younger boys. - Oh... - Oh my God, we have stairs! - Oh boy!
- We have stairs! - Wait, we can appreciate this properly. - We have stairs! - Oh, that's just a wardrobe. - Oh my God! - Oh, look at it though. f*ck off. Bro... - f*ck off! - There was one of these in the lobby. We got a lobby! - Oh my God. - Yes, yes! - Nah, brother. Brother! - What is this? - Nah, this is unbelievable. This is unbelievable. - Balcony! - I don't know what to do with myself. - Bust a move. - Nah, we got food! No, bro! Look at the... [JJ screams] - At least, I think Napa's
slightly older than- - What do you mean?
- Than where? - Than Azanti or- - Is it? I don't think it is. I think you're mistaken, my friend. - I think it's quite young, isn't it? - It's quite young, yes. - All right, come on.
Surely we go and get active. We need bevs. It's the only way we get to- - Do we need to leave the room? - Yes, we do. - We can't just spend the- - We have got to leave the
room, it is our only option. It's not really the vibe to
be in here all day, is it? [Vik laughs] - Is it not? I quite
like the vibe of that. [Tobi shrieks] [JJ] Oh my God, another room! Oh my! Oh my God! - Another backpack. - Oh my God.
[Tobi laughs] - Let's go!
- Have you seen this bathtub? - Even that bath's a pool. - Oh my God. - Je-su! Ah! Mi-ra-cle! Ah! Jesus Lord! - Okay. - Jesus thank you! - Okay. - I prayed and you answered! - You did not pray. - The devil tried to get you. [Tobi laughs] You cannot claim my soul! - Oh! Oh, yet another room! Oh my f*ckin' God. - I found another backpack! - Just stop! [laughing] Oh, this view. [Tobi groans] - Nah, this is actually sublime. - The f*cking cat. The cat is suffering. The cat is suffering horrendously. Hello, mate. - What we're doing, like CSI
Crime Scene Investigation. So you've got the
crowbar on the doorframe. How many times has this been put back in? - It's a whole new lock every time. - Every time you stay, you get... That's why it's so expensive. You pay for a new lock. Eight euros for a lock. - Look at it. - Oh, wow. Wait, they've
repaired the door. - Yeah, it's got new bits of door in it. - They've put new wood in the door. - That cat is finished. He's having a siesta or
he's dying, one of the two. - Oh my gosh! - Oh my gosh! - Oh my f*ck- - Oh my... We gotta play games for the rooms. - Bro, honestly, don't give a sh*t. - I don't give a f*ck. - I don't care, bro. - Whoever's room this is,
find me naked in the sauna. [Tobi laughs] - Bro, my dick... Right there, man. - I'm sitting in the sauna. - Right there, in there,
in the sauna bricked up! Bricked up like a madman! - f*ckin' hell. - f*ckin' hell, touch my rod! - What? [Tobi laughs] - Yeah! - the other guys! - Yeah, [bleep] them, f*ck them! - you! Enjoy it, Harry. Ha-ha! d*ckhead! [JJ laughs]
- Yeah, yeah! f*ck you! [JJ cackles] - There's an envelope, boys. - Aw, Catto. - Vik, you haven't
opened one yet, have you? - No.
- Yeah, it's on you. - You know what? I'm about to turn this trip around. "Now you know the hotel
is dingy and dark." - Okay. Go on. - "Go down the road and visit the park." - Visit the park. - All right, we need journey juice. Let's go to the off licence. - Yeah. - f*ck me.
- We need journey juice. - It's just down the road. - Yeah, but-
- A walking journey. - Yeah, walking journey juice. - All right. All right, let's get it. - Mr. JJ, Mr. Tobi. - Thank you. - I'll be your butler for the day. - A butler! He said a butler! - We have a butler! - Thank you. I love my job, you know. - Me too. Love working with you lot. [JJ laughs] - This is for you, sir. - Thank you. - It's called the Volcano,
non-alcoholic drink. - Ooh. Whoa! - Oh, wow.
- Whoa! [JJ laughs] - Oh, wow. - Your nose will go fine on that one. - Pussio!
- There you go. [Tobi and JJ laughing] - Oh!
- Woi! Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. - Oh, I'm a happy, happy, happy soul. - Oh my gosh. - That is incredible. [Josh chuckles] - f*ckin' Hell. - That's where we are. The Hell juice. - I'm gonna get a Sprite and a vodka. - That's not a journey juice. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll create a journey juice. - You created a gurney juice. [Vik laughs] What's in the gurney juice, Harry? - Grape Mark Spirit. Oh, good Lord. - Plenty sugar, like fruit vodka. - Is it good?
- It's very nice. - Okay, I'll get some of this. - In shot. - Okay. I'll be careful with it though. Nice one.
- Strong, yes. - Okay, okay. [Harry and Vik laughs] Nice. - All right, let's get scootin'. - We have got the liquid happiness. - Have any of you tried
that sauce, by the way? It's f*cking amazing. - Amazing. - What, this one?
- Yeah. - What? With your sandwich or your chips? - Anything. I think you could dip sh*t
in it and it would be nice. [JJ and Tobi laughing] - What the f*ck is that? - Is that for me? - What the hell? - That's Ethan's penis right now. [JJ chuckles]
- Yeah. - Yeah? Okay. [all exclaiming] [Ethan laughs] - Whoa! [Tobi laughs] - You're gonna kill someone! - Oh, very cool. That's cool. Thank you. - Odd. - Got a helium beverage. - It does feel ratty, but it also feels like the
f*ckin' way to do it here. [Vik chuckles] - On the road. - Is that the recommended- - They're strong. - The strong.
- The strong. - But he said it's like vodka, so I don't know if he
like made it in f*ckin- [Vik laughs]
- It's like vodka? - Bro, I don't know what he like- - Did he say a strong vodka or something or you could shot it? - Bro has just put potatoes
in ethanol and said, "Yeah, that'll do." - Let's see. Let's have a razz of this. - Oh.
[Harry coughs] Smells like fuel from here, bro. [whimsical music] He's going somewhere. He's going to- - It actually tastes all right, you know. - He's going out tonight.
Harry's going out, out in Napa. - I'm not. I don't want to go out in Napa. - But we are going out. It's
the only thing we can do. What else are you gonna do here? - No, we're going to the park first. - We're going out, out. - We're easing in, we're
starting with the park. - We're going to the park. - Hey, you know, it's getting active. It's getting lively on this trip. - Yeah, the demons awakened. - All the topless men.
- The zombies are out. - Look at the topless men everywhere. - The topless boys. - The boys. - This is for room selection. What? First is first? - First is first.
- Yeah, first is first. - Okay, first is first. Ooh! There you go, Behz. - Yes! I'm taking the one
with the f*ckin' sauna. And by the way, if you wanna see a naked
man in a sauna, come up. [Tobi laughs] - Oh, we're in the bin. The branding is so bad here. The branding of everything. - It doesn't matter.
- It doesn't matter. - It doesn't matter.
- Blue Lemon. Blue Lemon. Moo Moo Restaurant! - Yeah!
- They're not even trying! They're not even...
- Moo Moo! - They're not even trying, bro. - How do they come up with this sh*t? [Vik laughs] - We could be the good team. - What do you mean? Like, you know what? - We'll make it the good team. - We got blue skies, blue sea. - As the day goes on, I've
accepted my fate more, and I'm like, f*ck it, like, you're either gonna have a good time, or you're not gonna have a good time, so I may as well have a good time. - That's good life advice. You may be getting treated
less than your friends. - Yeah. - But you can still have a good time. - Of course. - Yeah, just go with the flow in life I think is the key thing. - Unless you're like, really
suffering from some like, debilitating disease or- - Well, that wasn't the
point I was making really. - Okay, but like-
- But you ruined it now. You ruined our vibe. - Sorry, we're just so cosy
in this incredible hotel. - I'm full up, I'm happy. All I need now is one
of you to wack me off. - Sugar nut.
[Tobi laughs] - "I hope you like the
different style of hotel. There's a lot to do and lots to play." - Ooh! - "Head to the shop for some gear." - Calm down, Ethan. [Tobi gasps] - "Before you hit the fairway." [JJ laughs] Oh my... We're playing golf. Bro, I can't get away from it. [Tobi and JJ laughing] - I got excited for a second. Then I realised I can't play golf. - The sh*t golf is the best golf. - f*ck it, let's go!
- Yes! [Ethan and Tobi laughing]
- Let's do it! - Sculpture Park. - Yes now! You know what? This is
actually quite cool. I might go sit on the
bench and have a drink. This is actually so much
better than I thought it was. I thought we were gonna be
at like some water park. - Well, you're supposed to
be looking at the sculptures. - I'm looking at 'em, man. - You gotta appreciate them. - I already got my favourite
one, which is over there. - What one? - It's a vagina. - Oh. To be fair though, we sit on this bench, and I think we got a good time. - Oh, yeah. You know what? I can back it. - Yeah, we're like the
wrongens at the park. - The nitties. - Yeah, the nitties at the park. We got a sea. I'll show you the view. - A couple titties. - There's our view. Minus Jamez Framez, he's the in the way, you're ruining it for
us, but there's the view. - Oh my God.
- That's an Audi buggy. - Man said... "Oladunji." Thank you.
- Thank you. - Thank you very much. - Oladunji! [JJ chuckles]
Let's go! It's the first time I'm ever playing golf. [upbeat music] - Oh my God. - What the f*ck? What is that? Is that a yak? - Something like that. - JJ, what's that? - Is it a dog? [Ethan and Tobi laughing] Please, I actually have no
idea what animal that is. [JJ laughs] - This course is absolutely outrageous. - Might as well call it a cow. - Most beautiful course
you've ever been on? - Without a doubt. - You know, I wouldn't
mind a little boat party. - You wouldn't mind a boat party? - Do you hear him? He wanted a boat party. I think he's forgetting. - No, no, now I'm thinking about it- - You would be trapped with the people that you're trying to
avoid this whole day. - I would mind a boat party. - Unless you had a private boat party, 'cause we a good team. - Yes. [Vik laughs] - It could be possible still, right? - Oh, it's so f*ckin' hot. - You're Indian... Bro, you should be fine
in this temperature. - Should we try drinking
water? See what it's like? - I'm actually down for that, yeah. - It's probably quite good, actually. - But then is Greek tap water not f*cked? [water sprays] - That looks good. [water sprays] - Yeah, how great is tap water? - Oh, you know what it is? Cold and refreshing. - Is it actually?
- It's really nice. [Vik laughs] - That... Oh! [water sprays] I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him so much. - Why, is it warm? - I hate him so much. [Vik and Harry laughing]
- It's hot. - Try it, Vik. I wanna see you do it. - No, try it now, you have to. You're part of us. Let me see you uck it. - Give it the Sloppenheimer. - Give it the Sloppenheimer. [Josh laughs] It's f*ckin' hot! - Bro, it's a kettle. [Josh laughs]
That's a boiling tap. - You could actually have a tea. - Oh, it's f*ckin' boiling. [Josh laughs] [JJ laughs] [Ethan shivers]
- JJ's in good spirit. He's just laughing.
- He is. I think he's doing his rich man laugh. - Oh, he is. Yeah, that was it. - He was like... In the changing room he's like, "Well, it is a rich man
sport. This is so bougie." - Look at me playing golf. I didn't really fancy
myself as a golf man, but... If this is what rich people
do, then f*ckin' hell... [JJ chuckles] I'm a golf man. [JJ laughs] - Bro, this set of golf clubs
we've got is outrageous. Thousands of pounds. - I know lots of you in
my comments are jealous. Sorry it's me here and not you. [Tobi laughs] Look at 'em. Look at the set. Aw, I wanna send a video to Harry so bad. [Ethan laughs] - Same, but I won't do it to him. This is karma for driving- - 'Cause you know, he would do it- - This is karma for
driving that into my back. - You know... Oh, mad. [Tobi and Ethan laughing] - I could get used to this. I've even got that rich man laugh. [JJ cackles] Imagine being poor! [JJ cackles] Could never be me! [JJ cackles] No! I get it now. I haven't even played golf
yet, and I already get it. I understand. Tiger Woods, I see you. - This is my guy.
- Yeah, you know what? We've got our winner, finally. - The happy cow. - This is statue of the day. - What a geezer. - What's he called? - Min-na-ta-poe. The Minotaur and the bird. Where's the bird? Where the f*ck is the bird? - Where is the bird? - 2016 as well. It's a vintage. - From Peru.
- It's a vintage. - It's vintage. - I'm sweating like a p*edophile. - Oh, is that sweat? I thought that was from the f*ckin' tap. - No, I'm sweating like
a p*edophile over here. - Oh my God. - It's hot. - I'm sweating like a
p*edophile in mothercare. - See, that's just not very nice. - All right, let's move it, let's move it. - Why? They would sweat in there, right? - So here we are guys, on the course. We have a scratch golfer with us, who we're gonna take on
in a scramble format. So, he's gonna play by himself, and we're gonna play a
three round scramble, and see if we can beat
him across three holes. [Ethan laughs] - He's laughing. - He's laughing at us.
- He's laughing already. - After you. A scramble is essentially, we get three bites of the cherry, and we take the best ball. So whoever's got the
best ball off the tee, we'll take that one, then from that ball we
get another three goes, then we take the next best ball. Essentially, yeah, we just
get three bites every go. Oh. Oh, she's on the green. Oh, it's a great shot. A sip of the beer before the shot. - How long have you been playing golf for? - Thank you.
- 21 years. - Damn. - Oh-
- Since I was 3. - Oh my God.
- Since you were 3? - Yeah, 3 years old, and I
started tournaments when I was 6. - Amazing, I started
playing two months ago. [all laughing] - Let's go, Ethan! [Tobi laughs] Is that not what you want to do? - No.
- Oh. Let's go, Ethan. - You got this, bro. [Tobi laughs] - It's left the tee box as well. - We're ruined! We're finished! - Pressure got to me, I've
got absolutely crumbled. - Is it my turn again? - Give us the envelope, please. - We have an envelope. - Is he gonna tell us to sack it? Is it saying, "Oh boys, this-" - You know what this is, right? I'm not even gonna go open. "Sorry, this is a joke. You're actually on the good team." - Yeah. - No. - "Sorry, this is all fake." - Yeah, I think so. - "You're actually on the good team." - Oh, f*ck it, yeah. - Come on, Captain Copium. - Yeah, let's do it.
- Let's go. - Come on! Just read to us, don't f*ckin'... Come on.
- Don't dilly dally. - Just read it out!
- It's fine. - "Hurry to the sea." - Yes! - "Where you have a time slot." - Yeah. - "To board a quaint and quiet yacht." You said f*ckin' it, and you ruined it. - There's no way they can put
us on a f*cking party boat with the youths. They can't do it, can they? - They can. They can. Let's get lunch first. Please, please. - Oh, that's the worst
thing they've heard all day. - He's going to the houses,
I'm telling you now. - He's gonna make that contact that I did. [Tobi laughs] That was like a movie. - His shoes made a farting noise as well. - Oh my God. It's better than mine. It's so much better than mine. We'll let Tobi go, but she plays. Whatever you do, yeah, it's going to be better than what I did, and I had a lesson yesterday. - Really? - I'm so nervous. [all laughing] [Tobi laughs] - Yeah, good practise. - Yup, bro.
- Practising , practising . - That wasn't bad, I did that. - All right. - Yeah, she's fine. - I told you I'd taken it off- - She's fine, she's fine, she's fine. We're playing KSI's ball. [JJ laughs]
Let's go! Let's go! - You're a natural. - Oh, shut up. - Is that JJ's ball there? - That's JJ's, yeah. - James, look at me in the eye and tell me I'm on a f*cking
big boat with all the fans. Let me down gently. - He's gotta emotionally prepare. - Or are we on a little like- - Or are we on a dinger? - Listen, boys... - It is what it is. Okay, little lunch break at the Moo Moo. - He spotted it on the car journey, now we're going there.
- Yeah. Honestly, like you could
be on the good team, but would you be going Moo Moo Taverna? Nah. - A Moo Moo review-view. Let's go. - Not bad. - Not bad at all. - You know when people say like, "The Sidemen, they work
hard, they're clear now." - It's what we deserve.
- Look at us. - It's the life we deserve.
- Thank you very much. - This is the pinnacle. This is the life of luxury
that we've been working for. - I told you, it's the good team. - Yeah, it just got good. - Tell me it's not the good team. - He's on. - Love it. Perfect. Completely hilled it. - Does that count? - She can play, if all of ours is sh*t. - Any tips? - Brother, I don't f*ckin' know. - I wasn't asking you. - Oh, okay.
[Tobi laughs] - Oh my God, she plays. - I hit it! I hit it! - She plays, she plays, she plays. - It was straight as well. - Have you got a ball? What do you think so far? Of everyone? - Nice. - That's an absolute lie. - Oh my God.
- Wow. - He's got loft of it. - Wait, what? - Ethan, hit this one. - Hit that one? - Just hit this ball. - That's actually pretty... Oh my God. - Yeah, we're playing this one. - Yeah? We got a thumbs up. - Yeah!
- We're playing that! - Thank you!
- Yeah! That's the one! [JJ cheers] - That's what I can usually do. [JJ laughs] Thanks, guys. Thanks. Thanks. Let's get the putter out. - You know you're on the bad team when the most exciting part of the day is getting back in your transport vehicle. - In the car. In the safe haven. - We're the good team. - Oh yeah, sorry, we're the- - We've got A/C in here. - Please be a small boat. I'm begging for a small boat here. - I don't see people at least- - I'm begging for it. Yeah, there'll be a big
queue of f*ckin' youngins, wouldn't there? - Yeah, I don't see people. - You'd know. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's not what I want to hear. [ship honks]
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let us die. - Don't tell me we're
going on that, please. - No, but they're finished. The cruise is finished. - Yeah, I think it's finished. - Or it could be a pickup. - Or it's a stop.
- It could be a stop. [Josh groans] - "Next up we've got
people from the Sidemen!" [Josh laughs]
Ah! - Hi.
- Hello. - You all right?
- Yeah, all right. - Oh, wait. - Are we going on the yellow submarine? - You are! - Yay!
- Yes! Hey look, there's a... ♪ We all live in the Yellow Submarine ♪ ♪ The Yellow Submarine ♪ - There's another deck? - We can do a bit of cliff jumping. Yeah, I'll do some cliff jumping. - I'm not gonna lie, the bottom of that looks
kinda like OceanGate. [Josh and Vik laughing] - That's a long putt, sir. I sense a three putt here. [Tobi and Ethan laughing] I sense a three putt, sir. - Is this you here, Ethan? - That's our shot. - Yeah! - That's his? - Yeah, yeah. - f*ckin' hell. - Bear in mind, he'd
landed that from there. - Holy- - We've had three shots
in the time he's had one. - All aboard! - Oh, see, this looks okay. But is it gonna fill with people? No, no, no.
- Hey, this ain't so bad. - This is not a sweet selection
for like a whole cruise. This is just for us. - That's the good team. We're the good team! - We're not on the good team, bro. But this is all right, this is okay. - I told you, we're the good team! - It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Oh, it's got a slide! Look at the slide! I can get behind this. - So, you have two options. The boat right behind you- - Honestly, my heart dropped
to my ass when that pulled in. - Your heart dropped to your ass. - Bro. - Look at all those chickens! - Are you guys in the Sidemen? - You know what? I will throw you overboard. Look, we'll throw you off that. - Oh my... Oh... Oh... - Oh my God, the weight on it. Oh, well done sir. - Thank you. - Little bit long, but well done. - So, what are you doing? - Trying to read the green. - Have you read it? What's it saying? - I've read it like a dyslexic man. [Tobi and JJ laughing] Too much. Sit! No! I like the fact that
you've got flight on it. And that can play. Like, look at the target. [JJ laughs] - I didn't touch it. - Well, how did it move then? - The wind, bro. It's the drone. It's the drone, bro. - Brother! - Holy f*cking hell! He's nailed it! [Tobi and Ethan laughing] JJ, we're playing, JJ. - Guys, don't worry. - Okay. - Three things, I'm sure you know. It's my passion, no complaints,
always make the trip. - Okey-dokey. - Let's do it. - Let's get it.
- Wow! Come on, guys! - Go! - Two knees and glizzy it? - I mean, if you want to, yeah. [ship honks]
[Josh laughs] [Harry laughs] Oh, no, Vik's fast, to be fair to him. Yes, Vik! Yes! They got the Yellow Submarine remix, bro. You didn't have to go that hard. [Vik and Harry singing] - Well done, Josh. - Now I feel the triple as well. [Ethan laughs] - Oh, it's lovely. Oh, sir!
- Aw! - Well in. - Did you expect to get that in? - Yes. - Uh, yeah. [all laughing] - It just seems so far away. [JJ and Tobi laughing] - No, I didn't hit it enough. - No way, no way.
- Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. - Aw! - Oh, not bad! You're currently the best ball. - You're good, you know. - I'm not though, bruv!
[Tobi laughs] - Oh, Tobi...
- Oh my. - Tobi, you're nailing them. [all cheering]
Yes, we're in! Triple bogey! - Let's go!
- Let's go, lads! Three strokes behind. [Tobi laughs]
- Yes! - Not even a scramble can save us. [JJ and Tobi laughing] - All right, we're going
to the submarine section of the Yellow Submarine. - OceanGate us up. Oh, it's air con! - Bro, this is cold! - Oh! - This is sick! - There's spots at the end. - Let's go to the end, so we can see. - Oh, this was worth it. I told you Harry, we're the good team! - Ay yo, we going to the Titanic or what? - This is sick! - We're the good team! - All right, the first person- - Fish! - Oh, I was gonna say spot a fish. Turtle! - Where? - Over there! Turtle, over there! - Where? You're lying to me! - No, no, bro, it's a turtle, you see it? - Oh, I see it! Yeah, yeah, yeah! There's a turtle on the back right, yeah. - I'll film it, and we'll
hope the editor can see it. - You'll see another one. There'll be another one. [mellow music] - Oh my God, oh my God.
- Ooh! - Yeah, do you know what? She might play. - No, she's not playing.
She's gone into the bushes. - No. - Let's go, Ethan. Can you not speak... [Tobi laughs] When I do my takeaway, please? Can you not speak when I do my takeaway? [Tobi laughs] You've done it every f*ckin' hole. - Where's that gone?
[JJ laughs] - In the bush! For the love of God,
when someone does this, and they get to there, don't speak! - Sorry. [all laughing] - Let's go, JJ. [Tobi laughs] - Let's go! [Ethan laughs] Yeah. We've lost three balls to the rough. He keeps speaking. I do my practise swings, he says nothing. - Let's go Ethan!
[Tobi laughs] - He says nothing. As soon as I start my takeaway... "Let's go, Ethan!"
[Tobi laughs] - "You got this, bro!"
- Stop! [Tobi laughs] - Around here somewhere. [water splashes] He's over there, look! So much fun. - I can see Harry with the fishes. And then another man. - All right, let's go and say hi to Joshy. - All right, let's get it. - Ready? - It's Vikkstar, he's coming for me, look! Look, it's Vikkstar! Oh, look, he's a fish! He's a submarine! Look at him go! Look at them! Hey, f*ck you! [lighthearted music] - Get it all out now. - All right. Let's go, Ethan! - Let's go, Ethan! - Woo! Yes! [Ethan laughs] Ethan! Ethan! Ethan! - That's enough, buddy.
- Okay. - Let's go. - Woo! [Tobi laughs] - She'll go.
[Tobi laughs] Like, I really love the sport. Even though I'm really
sh*t at it, I love it, and he's ruining it. - Rhythm, balance. - Let's go, JJ. Woo! Oh my God. - Yes.
- Oh my God. - He's ruining my day. [Tobi laughs] I'm playing in the f*cking Swiss Alps. - If he does it again, you can have mine. - Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me. - Go away! - Aw, she's hungry! She's hungry for this D. - f*ckin'... It was nice, but you aimed there. [lighthearted music] - Oh, Tobi! - No screams, no noises. - There will be no words, no screaming. - No noises. - You got this. Let's go, Ethan! [JJ coughs] - Go on, go on, go on! - Sit! Sit down. - That's it, that's it! - That's beautiful, man. - I'll take a two putt from here. - Did you hear the cough? - Of course I did! [JJ and Tobi laughing] - Oh, oh. - Good weight though. Really good weight. I'll give you that. Yeah, you take it, you
take it, you take it. I wouldn't give you that either. [Tobi laughs] - Aw, shoot.
- Oh my God. Oh my, I think the coin's
actually done you in. - No, we don't take those. [Tobi laughs] No, we don't take those. - It's all right, man.
I misread it anyway. [Tobi and JJ laughing] - We don't take those. - At least he waited until
you had the shot this time. - He did, he did. And there's no excuse
for what I'm doing now. [JJ and Tobi laughing] Right, well that's that. We've lost to the pro, after two holes. - Shock, shock.
- Shock. - Thank you for game. - Good game. Thank you very much. Keep it up, my friend. [JJ and Ethan laughing] - Okay, you see them down there? [JJ and Tobi cheering]
[Ethan boos] - Yay! - Yes, they're in a good mood. - All right, I'm going on the slide now. Exciting time. Oh Lord. [water splashes] Ah, yes. Woo! - What a shot! - Okay, Vik! - Now, I did have an envelope. - Yay! Simon's here! [Simon laughs] - Simon! Simon! Simon! Yes!
- Yay! I had a card about-
- To read? - Yeah, but now I'm here. It was basically something
about JJ hating life, 'cause he was about to play golf. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And whether he was still alive. But now we're going on an adventure drive! - Oh my God. [intense music] Bro, we got the black
Lambo, the old school ting, and the Audi. Nah, please let me have the Lambo. - No, look, I got- - All right, I'll be the passenger. Drive the Lambo, I want to get in. - Oh sh*t! Oh sh*t! - Look at that. Haroldinho in the flesh. - Go on, son! [Vik laughs] - Harry's the only person I've ever met who dives head first towards rock. Something wrong with him. Couple boys in a cave. I wonder what the other team's doing. Bet they're not in a cave. [engine revs] The most graceful boys who'd
ever come in this cave. - It's the least graceful
thing, the f*ckin' rocks. - Harry, mate. Harry, there's a baggy here. - Hey!
[Vik chuckles] - What up, pussy holes! [JJ and Ethan laughing] - Trying to race, G? [JJ laughs] - What? You wanna race? I don't think I can... [engine revs] [car honks] - Bye.
- Bye. - Woo!
[Ethan chuckles] - Oh, honestly, get me in
the strip, I need a bev. - We're going to the cave. - No! I can't be assed.
- I'll take it then. - Beautiful. You know what? This looks
like a Mr. Beast thumbnail. - "Why are we stranded in
a water cave for 7 days?" - "We had a kitchen, a
bathroom, a living room. Watch out though, the floors are sharp!" Oh, f*ck me, I've hit the wall. Oh, sh*t! - Right. I think that's
our whole video done. All right, we're going home. I hope you've enjoyed. - What? No! - Hope you enjoyed the cheap hotel. - f*ck the other team,
and we'll come back later. [JJ laughs]
[engine revs] - Yeah, no, I just wanted
to get a feel for it. Where's Simon, bro? - Oh, you've got a feel, bro. - Where's Simon, bro? - Is Harry taking a selfie on the cliff he's about to jump off? - Yeah, I think so. - Hello, mate. - Hello, Harry. - How you doing boss? Be careful. Best of luck, mate. - Jump!
- Have a good one. [Vik yells]
- Oh, he went for it! He just sent it, I wasn't ready. - He sent it. Yes, Harold. The fearless Guernsey GOAT. - What is wrong with that man? - Sent it. Is that mom trying to
get her child to jump? - I think so. Is he gonna flip? - Oh! He sent it! - Oh, he's made Harry look silly. - He has made Harry look...
[Josh laughs] - Just edit that to be me, please. - How was that? - It was good. It was fun, man. It was fun. It hurts the bottom of your feet though, I think I slapped them too hard. Then he just sent a f*cking
gainer off it, which is... I've been emasculated. - He did send off a little bit. - He just sent it. Such
a clean one as well. - This day's picked up, tremendously. What a day. What a time to be alive. - You still think you are the bad team? - No, we're the best team. - Yes! Heated seats, motherf*cker. Oh, I love it. I love it. - Ooh! [Tobi laughs] - Is it electric? - Yes. Steve, I'm telling you, it's crazy. - This car's got vibes to it. [engine revs]
- Yeah, I can feel it. Oh, sh*t! - JJ's sh*t himself, I can tell. - Ethan's having too
much fun in that, boy. [Ethan laughs] - Oh, it's taking me on the main road. You made a mistake, sir! - If this is how I die, then f*ck it. At least I died in style. - Yeah, you died having fun. With Behz-igi at the wheel. - Ethan drove a Urus. - Yeah. - And went home and bought a Urus. [catchy music] About to catch me in a Morgan. [calming acoustic music] - Well, that was very fun. I was so nervous before this. Simon scared me. I thought I was on a party boat. - You know, we did have a boat party, but we had a boat party
with our new friends. - Exactly. - We had a cage experience. - Yeah.
- They weren't feral. And rabid.
[Vik and Josh laughing] Well, you know what? The others might have a better hotel, they might be in a better place, but they didn't have more fun
than that, I don't reckon. - Oh my God! This is the best trip ever! - I put money on it. I put money on it. - Not too much money, but some money. Some money.
- How much money? - Uh...
- Fiver? - Yeah, I'll put a fiver on it. [all laughing] - Geez! I'm going 1940s! Ah, Hitler! I'm coming for ya! Wait, I didn't mean that. [Ethan chuckles] - Eh? f*ckin' hell! [engine revs] [Ethan laughs] f*ck me! - Yeah, I'm having a fun day today. - Bro, these lot are gone! What the f*ck? They need to chill out. I'm following them. [engine revs] [JJ and Ethan laughing] - Bro. [Ethan shrieks] Jesus. These speeds with this view, oh my. - I love Simon! I love Simon! - This must be very
different to what Harry... Harry and Vik and Josh are doing. - I wonder what the other team are doing. [JJ laughs] - I can't promise you
tonight I won't like... Just like, you know... [Vik laughs] - Wow. Wow. I'm getting the special
treatment over here. - Oh bro, we've lost them. - Bro.
- They've gone. - This is serious gear.
- Bro. - Can we do like a dead start? We're on a motorway by the
way, but I've just stopped it. [engine revs] - f*ckin' hell! sh*t! I can't lie, I'm terrified
and excited at the same time. Yeah, Tobi caught up. - Yeah, that Audi will
do some serious stuff. - The noise is makes, man. [Ethan chuckles] - It's horny! [JJ laughs]
It's horny. - It's like, "Finally!" - It's horny. - "Someone is using me
like I'm meant to be used! Treat me like the whore I am!" [engine revs] [Ethan laughs] f*ckin hell'. Did they say Tobi wants to drag race? - Tobi wants to drag race? - What are you saying? - All right. Three, two, one... [engines revving] Oh!
- Look at that, bro. - Ooh! Ooh! - Holy sh*t! [Ethan laughs] - That's outrageous, bro. - Yo! - Left him. [Tobi laughs]
Left him. - Fully smoked you. - Bro, that car is a joke. - He fully... - We missed the exit for
the entrance for the thing. - And that's pure electric? - Yeah. - I always thought like,
petrol cars would always win. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, brother. [JJ laughs]
- The game's changed. - The game has changed. - I don't wanna go out! I want stay in here. - I can only assume we're going out. - I would rather stay in here. - I'd rather be out there. - I can see the next envelope. - It's like a condom. - And you know what? If this doesn't say "Go to Senor
Froggo's", I'm ignoring it. - Okay. - I'm ignoring whatever it says. - It's gotta be, right? - Here we go. Oh, it's f*cking long. - Brother, it's 10 o'clock. "Hopefully tonight is one to
remember, not one to forget." - Yeah. - "Complete as many of these as you can before Vik's DJ set." [Josh and Harry screaming] - Whoa. - Oh no! - Although we have had that spoiled by the fact that someone tagged
him in an Instagram post- - The club! - "Performing tonight, DJ Vikkstar!" - The club announced me, and I don't even know what I'm playing. But apparently I'm playing
a big club tonight. - Can you play tonight? - f*ck it. We'll make it work. "Buy a new outfit for the night ahead." - Original. - I've got this already. Style. - Yeah, yeah. - "Challenge another trio
to a fishbowl contest." - Oh, I wanna die. - Not here. Not a fishbowl. Not here. No, actually... "Challenge another to have
a better time than you in Senor Froggo's." That's fine, we can do it.
- I like that. Yeah, yeah. - f*ck a fishbowl. "Buy a bar a round of drinks." We can do that, that'll be fun. - Anyone got the Sidemen card? Well, I've got a Sidemen card. No, not on me, actually. "Karaoke at Tommy's Pub." That's your pub. - Karaoke? - "Get a conga line at Senor..." [Harry yells] - I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to suck him off right now. [all laughing] - We have... About 10-15 minutes to spare. - Yeah.
[Tobi laughs] - Before we're going to go
meet and have some dinner. - Lovely! - And I wanted to let you guys know what the other team are doing. - Okay. - Yeah, bring it on. - And weirdly, Ethan put
in the chat yesterday... - Yeah? - "8 years ago, we went to Ayia Napa." - Oh my God, you did put that- - I did put that in the f*ckin' chat! - Well, they're in Ayia Napa. [JJ and Tobi laughing]
- Oh my God! - So...
- That's so good. - They have a wild night out. - On the strip? - On the strip. [JJ and Ethan laughing] - Oh, bro. They're gonna get eaten alive. - By the way, it's in season.
- It's peak. - They have to go to a
club, because Vik is DJing. - No, he isn't!
[Simon laughs] - What club? What club? - Hopefully.
- No, he isn't. - Do you know what club it is?
- No! - Encore.
- Has he got his USB? - Yeah, I've made sure.
- Encore? - Oh my God!
- I've made sure! - That is insane. - All right. Get ready for dinners, lads. - Yes! - Woo! - Can we not just like have a night out? And then we'll do sh*t on the way? - So also. Hold on. - I don't wanna do-
- What's in the gifts? - I've have enough of conga
lines. I don't wanna conga line. - You got condoms in there or
something? What's going on? - Oh there's... Oh, there is condoms. - "I love Cyprus" condoms. - Pokemon cards. - Yeah? I'll have that. - Astral Radiance. - Another one? What's that one? - These go hand in hand together, right? If you've got an Astral Radiance pack- - Then you f*ck. - No, you don't need this. You use this instead. If you bring a girl
back, just pull this out. - Wait, this is from the off licence. You bought these. - I've got Darkrai. Is that good? - I don't know. - They're not even real.
- Garchomp. What do you mean they're not even real? [Vik laughs] Are they not real cards?
- They're fake. [Harry and Vik laughing] - They're literally fake, bro. - Oh, I got a Typhlosion. - No, you didn't get anything. You got a fake piece of cardboard. - Charizard! - Where? - I've got a Charizard! - That's cold!
- I got Charizard! - In an Astral Radiance pack. - That's worth 50 grand,
put it on a chain. - Oh, yes! - Oy, Vik. I mean you, Harry. - What does it say? - Got a Typhlosion. - Gapejaw Bog. [Josh and Vik laughing] That'll be me later on.
Vikkstar's gucky-wucky. [Vik and Josh laughing] I've had enough, man. - You can do it now if you- - I don't wanna do a conga line. - All right, so we're going for dinner. - Yes. - As you know, we have
to get a transport there. We're taking a little gondola. - Yes! - All the way up there. - Oh yeah. Simon, I'm telling you now,
Beanie Minter is cooking! [Simon laughs]
- Different! - Oh, it is a bit cold though, isn't it? - Let me see? Oh, yeah, yeah, it's cold. [Tobi laughs]
- That's what I'm saying, bro. I reckon I could cut the butter up there. - I like that name, you
know. That's a good name. - Beanie Minter. Sharp Nip Behz. [Tobi laughs] - That doesn't hit as nearly really. - Right, I think we hatch a plan. I think, the plan is... Well, you need to sh*t, I'm gonna shower. Let's get it over and done with, and then you lot go and get some drinks, and I'll freshen up. - It's a sh*t, shower and shave. - Lads. Sorry about this. [Josh laughs] Sorry. - Bear in mind, I'm insulted! [Harry yells] [Josh laughs] - What the f*ck is going on in here? - It's a bonding experience. - f*cking freezing cold,
and I put it on hot. [Josh laughs] - It's coming out there. - I have to get out, I can't. [Josh and Harry laughing] [Josh screams] - It's the soap! What's going on? - Oh yeah! - Seriously, I'm trying to sh*t! - Oh yes! [Josh laughing] - I'll put this camera up your asshole if you're not careful. - That's what you deserve, my friend. [Josh laughs] - There we go. - Film me, not my ass! Don't stick the GoPro up
my f*cking asshole, man! - Here you go! - Blur my cock. [Josh laughing] You haven't sh*t, Josh? - What's going on? [Josh laughing] [Harry yells] [Josh laughing] - I'm dying! [Josh laughing] Why are you filming here as well? I'm really struggling to push one out here if you're all there. I've got a crowd, it's kinda difficult. [Josh laughing] - Is this the only towel we have? [everyone laughing] That was the worst shower
I've ever had in my life. - Here, you can dry yourself. - Oh, fantastic. Can you do my asshole please? [Josh laughing] Bro, can you... - Can I do what? - Hurry up! - Well, I can't! - I need to piss. - I can open my legs. - Ow. - How good is your aim? - Is there anything with the
camera happening, do you think? - Yes. I'm gonna jump, and tear
this whole thing down. - Please, don't. Please, don't. [Ethan and Tobi laughing] - Look at the animal. Cattle. - They got bells on them. - I love the fact they've got bells on. - Bro, we're above the clouds. [lighthearted music] - We're eating at Gooch. - It's my favourite restaurant. The Gooch. - The Gooch! - Get that fresh air in ya. - f*ckin' hell. - You should come on that
with us. That was sick. - Oh yeah, breathe that in though. - Man booked out the whole
restaurant for his boys! - Which one should we sit on? - The round table. - We should take him out
there where you guys arrived. - Con can suck the sh*t out of me bumhole. - Well, that's made my video better. - Look at these mountains! Ah! All right, let me not do that. I don't wanna start an avalanche. - Make some f*ckin' noise, Andy! [Josh chuckles] - This is what I'm dealing with. - I'm in the mood for it now. You know, I've kind of warmed to it. [Josh laughs] - Harry needs to be in Kat-Kat bro. - We're going off licence, and this... Just blur the man! This man's getting changed. - Yeah! It's a vibe! We've got like terrorist entertainment built in with our hotel room. - Whoa! - Senor Froggo's going off. - I might get some RTDs. We'll go back a bit. It would be the play, wouldn't it? "Oh, I thought you said
to get this one again." "What about we get fishing net so we can catch all the trout tonight?" Oy, it's cold. Is it still... Oh! - You're gonna have the hardest nipple. [Josh chuckles] - It wasn't the only
thing that's hard today. Not after what I've just seen. - What's that? No. - The same one.
- No. - No, no, we're gonna go
back in with this one, then we get Harry's reaction, then we actually give him that one. - Okay, yeah. It's not XIX, but... - Oh my God. Can we get him like a hat? YMCMB. That's old school as f*ck. - We need outfits, yeah. - Vik is meant to be performing. - Yes. - So... [Simon laughs] It was Insta'd out. - Oh my God, yes. [Simon laughs]
- Oh no! That is insane. No! That is incredible. - Where have you got that picture? [JJ laughing] He's wearing a gaming headset. "Is everybody having a great time?" - We have our meal, and then
we've booked out the spa. - Oh... I'm not joking when I say- - No, don't say it. - Whatever you want me to do- - Brother! - To the f*ckin' rod of yours. - Honestly, I'll spread my
ass cheeks for you, bro. - Well, Side+ sign up,
and you'll see me... [JJ laughing] f*ck both of them. [Simon and JJ laughing] - 100%. [Simon laughs] - Can we get some fireworks? They're sweets, bro. - They're fireworks. Those are fireworks. - They're sweets. - That is a firework. - Brother, what is- - It's a firework. - They're gone. - Wait, why is there a firework? - I tell you what, right, okay? They may be in like, a
lovely expensive hotel, but do they have the Cat supermarket- - That sells fireworks.
- Across the road. And Senor Froggo's also across the road. No, they don't. - And Yummy Tommy right
around the corner as well. - So, we had team chats. - Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. - Your team didn't really talk. Their team were very vocal. - Oh, geez. - Yesterday at 9:30. Harry. "Just so you all know, I'm so
very optimistic for tomorrow." [all laughing] Josh. "I will be bringing the same vibe. This is my time." - This is my time? [JJ laughs]
- Harry. "Reacts before with Simon, I could almost feel the
smile through Discord." [JJ laughs] Josh. - "It hasn't happened for me yet, but this one will be the one." [JJ laughs] Harry. "He's set us up for a corker." - Oh! It's Vik with the... - And then Vik with the salute. A few hours later... Oh, thank you. "This is the worst one ever possible. Wedgeman, how could you do this to us? I'm on my knees." [Ethan laughs] - You love fish, we made a nice, beautiful Wagyu tataki. - Oh! Thank you very much. - And for the guys, it's gonna be salmon. - Did you say you got Wagyu beef? - Oh, I think it's got
caviar in it as well. [knocking]
♪ The Firestarter ♪ - He had to check. Harry, come out, look
what we've got for you. [Harry mumbles] - What did you check if it was us? - Your favourite.
- We got the thingy. [Harry coughs] - It's giving me lung cancer already... [Josh and Vik laughing] What the f*ck is that? [fireworks sparking] - Oh God! [Josh laughs] - Are you all right? [Vik and Josh laughing] Are you all right? [Josh and Vik laughing] Great. You bought f*ckin' fireworks. I'm gonna get f*ckin'
disease off this stuff, man. - Should we do it in the room? - No, is there a smoke alarm? - Should we do it in the room? - There's no smoke alarm. - Wow, sashimi. - Mm. It's so good. - Yeah, that's delicious. - It tastes even better
because I know the other team are having the worst time. - They're eating one pound pizza slice. [JJ laughs] - Harry! - We're doing 4th of July. - Okay, cool. - It is a toast to our night. - All right, let's get it. - Ah. Ah! - Oh, sh*t. I put the Charizard... [fireworks popping]
sh*t. [Josh laughs] Degenerates! [Josh laughs] - There's still more in
there that have not popped. [Josh laughs] What's next? Should we get a bigger one?
Let's get a bigger one. - Geez. - Get that in focus. - It's not the first time
he's filmed his meat. - I'm all truffled out. - Is this pistachio? - Look at me eating flowers and sh*t. - Aw!
- Oh, more sauce. Don't look at my plate like that. Look at your plate like that. I'm going in. - Getting flashbacks to
when he cut the wood. - All right, rub me down. Anyone in the room. - HR? - Oh yeah. Bro's eating ice cream with a fork. - Where's Harry? Is there Harry Potter? - Oogedy-boogedy. Hello. - Can I try something?
Can you go back in there? - What are you trying to do? - It's the Charizard.
Throwing card Charizard. - Bro... I'm not.
[glass shatters] Oh, for f*ck's sake! - Is that the real one? - For f*ck's sake! - Vikkstar! - Every time he smashes a glass! - Vikkstar! You're not even drunk yet! - My... - It's all right, it was the sh*t vodka. [all cheering] - Yeah, but now I'm gonna
f*ckin' injure my... Clean it up! - Yeah, you didn't injure
yourself last time. - Clean it up! Oh, it stinks of f*ckin'... Should we set it on fire? [all laughing] [JJ grunts] - It's like a Pokeball. [Simon grunts] - Oh.
- Woi. [lips smooching] - Bite that into your gob, now. - Oh my God.
[Simon laughs] - I think we all get our willies out. - What?
- At the hotel. [Ethan and Tobi laughing] People actually will think I'm
homosexual after this video. [JJ laughs] - I wonder why. [Ethan laughs] - Beanie Minter. [all clapping] - Beanie Minter! Beanie! - You think we'll get a
complaint from someone? [chuckling] We should get out of here. - Because you've set off
fireworks and smashed a bottle. [crew laughing] f*ckin' hell, man. How am I the voice of reason? - Hey, we're having fun. - Did you not drink at the... I was out getting shackled
but it was what we had. - Fireworks. Bro, there's a bigger one. I could have got a bigger
one. That was a smaller one. That was my voice of reason saying, "Know what? That's too far." - Oh my God. - I could've chucked it in
here, I didn't think about it. - Oh my God. [Harry screams] - What? Why you upset? - I don't want to go out there. - Why you have to be mad? - I don't want to face it. I don't wanna face it. - It's okay. - I've just got back from Tomorrowland. - It'll be fine. - I don't wanna drink anymore. - There's Senor Frog's outside. - You genuinely don't think Senor Frog's plays better music than Tomorrowland. - And that's Senior Frog's.
This is Senor Frog's. - That's like, for old frogs. - Oh, I'm getting a call.
- Geez. - Let me move these out the way. - He's trying to be so cool. - Hello?
- Trying to be chill. - Yeah, they're keeping it low key, yeah? - Yeah, keeping it low key. - Low key, boys.
- There's glass on the floor. - I'm just gonna let you know... We've had a way better time than you. [Ethan laughs] - Literally, you don't
even know what we've done. You don't even know how
much we've achieved today. - I don't care, I just know
we've had a better time. Legit, we've- - It's been f*ckin' sh*t. [Josh laughs]
It's been sh*t. And now we've gotta go
out on the strip of Napa. - Oh!
- Strip of Ayia Napa. There's 15 year olds roaming. It's terrible.
[Ethan laughs] It's awful. Vik's just smashed a moonshine
bottle all over the floor. - We got fireworks, it's fine. - I've set off fireworks. - Oh my God. - You sell fireworks? - Room tour. Do you want a tour? - Yeah, let me show you- - Yeah, take the phone. - All right, here we
go, here's the kitchen. We've got a stove.
[Josh laughs] - Are those scales?
- It's a stove. - Oh, it's a stove, it's a stove. - Scales? - Yeah, I don't know
if they was in a bando. - Yes! Come on! - Oh, yes!
- Aw! f*ckin' hell. - Oh, you've got Jamez Framez. Oh no. - The toilet is an interesting... The toilet's all right now. Vikk hasn't flushed it. - Oh!
- Which is fun. - Oh!
- Is that brown? - Vik, why do you not flush it? [Ethan and Tobi laughing] - Disgusting. [Tobi laughs] - That is disgusting. - Nice shower. - Wait, there's only one shower? - What do you mean one shower? - Bro, and also look where the- - Look at our bedding. - Imagine I was trying
to f*cking sleep here. You ready for this? Look where we are. - Yes!
[Tobi and Ethan laughing] - Yes!
[JJ laughs] Yes! - Oh no!
- Is there f*ckin'... [siren blares] Oh my. - What? It's the police? - Harry!
- What? - Come back here. - "What?" That "what" was angry. - He's fumin'. - Bro's got Monster on the table. [Tobi and Ethan laughing] [fireworks popping]
- Nah, Josh is... - Yes, Josh!
[Josh laughs] Oh, yes! Yes!
[JJ cheers] - It's going off!
- Yes! [Tobi laughs] - f*ckin' disaster class. And now we're doing pre-drinks. - It look like it's going- - It's going crazy.
- The Coke Zero and Sprite. It looks like it's going nuts. - Do you guys not have security? - No. You know when we
knew we were f*cked? When we walked up and
had two security guards at the airport. We were like, there's no way. - You guys are gonna get
eaten alive, by the way. - I know. Like, it's actually- - Hey, don't worry. Vikkstar's DJing. Vikkstar's got a DJ set. - Have you not seen? They've announced Vikkstar
as a f*ckin' DJ set at one of the clubs as well. [Ethan laughs]
So now we're gotta go there. - Now we have to go there, no matter what. We have to go do the DJ set. - No way! That's crazy.
- Wow! - f*ck off. Did you lot
enjoy your golf, yeah? - Oh my God.
- Oh, bro... - He likes golf.
- I actually love golf. - He's got the itch.
- I understand it. - He's got it.
- I understand. - He's got it. - He's in, he's in! - I need to get some lessons
to learn, to get better. - Oh, he's in! - But he hit a crazy shot though. - Yeah, yeah. We got to a par three, shooting downhill. Oh my God. - And bro, the views as
well were phenomenal. It felt like a dream. - None of us asked. - Honestly. [Vik laughs] - Bro...
- I mean, Harry asked. - I mean, Harry did ask. - But it's all good. Wait, so how many toilets do you have? - Toilets? One. Look, bro. Look at our sleeping arrangement. What do you mean? - Wait.
[Tobi and Ethan laughing] So you're all sleeping together? - Yeah, look. They're single bed,
single bed, single bed. That's three beds. I had a sh*t while he showered. - Yeah!
[Tobi claps] - I had a view of his
asshole the whole time. - I love that.
- Oh my God. - I love that, that's amazing. - I'm proud of you two. - I wish I could see my boys' assholes. [JJ laughs] - Anyway, guys, we would
love to stay and chat, but we have some cards to play. - And we got lists of things to do. - And we have a list of
activities on the Ayia Napa strip. - We've got massages. - You don't want a tour? You wanna play cards? - Yeah, we're gonna play cards. - Yeah, ours is more fun. - Good luck on your set. - f*ck off and die.
- Cheers. [everyone laughing] - Don't f*ck up the mix. [JJ laughs] - "Don't waste the mixture!" - They've had such a
f*cking relaxing night. Even JJs playing the golf, oh... All right, let me do this. - What happened? - I took 200 mils out. - Why? - That's four shots. It looks worse than it is. [Vik laughs] - Start.
- Six. - Oh, right. I'll go first. Ooh, I'm gonna go for lower than a six. - Okay. For two sips? - Yes! - I'm gonna go higher than a 5. - Yeah, come on. - I can't get... - Wow, he's ripping it up. No, 8. You said lower or higher? - He said higher, he said higher. - Okay, go on, Vik. - I'm gonna go it's lower than an eight. Well, would you f*ckin' look at that? - Yeah!
[Josh laughs] - So that's three sips. - Should we just try
and do three in a row? - Go.
- All right. It's gonna be higher than a four. - Bang.
- Easy. - Oh, lower. - That's fine.
- That's fine. - Lower. - It's good.
- Beautiful. Higher than that. Yes! Okay. - Lower.
- Yes. - Yeah, I hope so. [Vik gasps] - Oh, lower, lower. It carries on trend. - Don't f*ck it.
[all cheering] - Come on! - So what happens now? Do we drink or do- - We go Senor Froggo's.
- We go to Senor Frog's. - Senor Froggo's!
- Senior Frog's. - This scents, these aromas. It's time like this I'm
happy I have a big nose. [JJ laughs] [upbeat music] - Okay, we're about to
step across the road to Senor Froggo's. Unfortunately, they are only
playing copyrighted music, so a lot of this will have to go on Side+. But we'll share with you what we can. Let's go check it out. - Just a lemonade. - What?
- Just a lemonade for now. I've got a few to go. - Oh my God! [Harry laughs] Oh my God! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [Harry laughs] - Oh, you get to see how
ashy my f*ckin' legs are. - Oh, wow. - But hey, look, check that. That's crazy. - Big butt? - No, no. You gotta film it from this side, Con. - Oh, you already know it's going off. The lighting in this corner. [Tobi laughs] Yeah, that's cake. - Oh, you got bunda. - Oh, f*ck off! - His feet are nuts. - Leave my feet alone, man. - Yeah, way worse. - Bro. That difference is ridiculous. - I think I'll be about there on both. [JJ grunts] [uptempo EDM music]
[fireworks popping] - Why the Napa strip? - You're what? - Why? - Why is he dead? - Why the Napa strip? Why the Napa strip? Before we leave, I'm gonna run on stage, do a little boogie, then we'll go. We gotta do something here. Bye. [catchy club music] f*ckin' yes! Let's go! Let's go! Go on, the Pied Piper. Give the kiddies your shots, my friend. - They're our shots. - I'm not giving them out. - These are for you lot. - Thank you very much. - Enjoy your shots. - Thanks, mate.
- Have a good night. Have a good time. - Have a good one, boys. - Thank you.
- Thank you. - All right. Let's get movin', let's get movin'. [man yells] - What the f*ck? [Harry laughs] - Hello, mate? How are you doing? - Hello, mate.
- You all right? - What's up? - Hello, boys. - Hello, man. How are you doing? - I'm good, man. I'm
good, I'm good, I'm good. - It's steaming. Oh my... Oh my God, bro, when you
put your feet on there... Oh! Hey, I'm never leaving. I'm not f*ckin' leaving! - I'm not f*ckin' leaving! - What are you doing?
Nah, what are you doing? No, no, no, no, no. You're a buffoon. - Brilliant, okay. - That was such a slap. That was such a slap. Just four young boys in a pool. - Yes! He's cookin' No! Oh, he is cookin'! - Come on, Harold. - No! [all shouting] - If you just concentrated, you'd be done. - All right, nah, we're leaving this- - All right, all right, what are we doing? - I'll take the small prize, ma'am. Thank you very much. - Lovely.
- Cheers. - Framez, get this. - We should try and find the football. - Are you about to boot
it down the f*ckin'... [Vik laughs] Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. - And... - Jesus Christ, Harry. [Harry chuckles] - That could have been really bad. - What the f*ck? [Josh laughs] What the f*ck? That was a murder weapon
coming down from the heavens. - Yo. 'Cause I thought at first... It was so cold. Yeah. This is f*ckin' unreal. - It's a real shame I
can't get the mic to work, 'cause I'd be under there
giving you the f*ckin'- - I would appreciate it. - Swimming pool bleh-leh-leh. - I'd appreciate it. - Last chance, Josh. Oh, no! - All right, what's the best- - Just smack it. - That corner's good. That corner's good. Or that one. - Whoa! - Effort. - All right, go on, Vik. One more, go up. - POV it. POV it, Vik. Try it. - Go on, stonker. Ah! - We're useless. - Yeah, we're sinking. - What the f*ck are you doing? - KSI, are you pissing? - You aren't pissing. Nah. - Nah, why'd you put that face? - Go away. Team beta. Team baiter. - I've already... Look, if I wanted to take a piss on you... - You've already pissed
on two of my friends. [JJ laughs] - I must complete. - No! Gotta get 'em all. - Ah, I found the hot floor. - Yeah? I felt that earlier. That's because I peed there. - That's because of wee. - All right. Charity match. We're training
for the charity match. Gotta strike for Sidemen
FC in the Air Force Ones. - Hey bro, shoot through the widest- - This is what he's going up against. This is basically his own goal. We haven't had goalkeepers yet, but that's one of our goalkeepers. - He's going from back here? Oh, not bad! Come on, Vik. Oh, no. - He ate that. He ate that one. It's all right, I'm wearing him down. - That's all right, that's all right, you got two more. - That's it, wear the goalie down. How does that work? - Whoa. [Harry laughs] - Bro, this is horrific. - All right, last one
to win a bracelet, Vik. Come on. - Oh, I need this. I need this. - f*ck that guy. That guy is trying to take your fiance. - Bro, have you ever seen
a keeper spin like that? - He's a loser, f*ck him. - Oh, yeah! Hit him in the head, f*ck it. - That was perfect top right. - We take that. You hit him in the head. - Mate, you know, what a shot. Well done, well done,
well done, well done. - Uh, we have a crowd. - Oh no. - Oh no. [person speaks in foreign language] - Five euros. You said you win a vodka? - We make noise nice. Together, look. - Okay, sure. [person neighs] [Harry laughs] - Welcome to Napa! Welcome Napa! - Thank you, my friend. - Okay. - All right, you got any cash, boss? - What the f*ck just happened? - Have you got cash? - Any hole's a goal? - Top bin, or any hole's a goal. [crowd cheers]
[horns honking] That one. [crowd groans] - I think top right is
kinda nice, you know. - Ah! Go on, Vik! Go on, Vik! Oh! - We're about to have
a very romantic date. [JJ laughs] - Oh, how's that? - Very good. Oh, this is so good. They call it the smelly cheese. - You know what I call it? - What? - Cheese. [Simon laughs] Mm.
[calming music] - Mm. [Harry laughs] - Are you happy, Simon? [calming music]
- Mm. - Are you happy, Minter?
I'm sweating my tits off. - Oh no. There's where we go. There's people. - Yeah, I can back this one. - Hey, Vik. There's a pole. - There's a what? There's a pole in there. - Let's do that. Yeah, I'm down for that. - No. I'm not there. I'm not sure I ever will be. - How you doin', man? Yeah, nice to meet you. - Where's he going? Oh, he's in there. f*ck it, all right, we're going in. Oh, air con. [catchy club music] I think... He's so gritty. [catchy club music] - Yeah! - What is that? - It's a Jägerbomb. Or Jäger. - Where's the bomb part? - It's straight Jäger. - Cheers, mate. Thank you. - Cheers.
- Thank you. - Thank you very much. Thank you, mate. [catchy club music] - Hey! Yo! [catchy club music continues] - Big fan. - Thank you, boys. Have a good one. - Have a good one, boys! Big up Dublin! Goodbye! - Each has different temperature, it's up to which one you want. [Ethan laughs] [Tobi laughs] It's so good. - Hey, Tobi. - Yes? - I wonder what the other team are doing. [Ethan and Tobi laughing] - Hello. - What the f*ck? [Harry and Josh laughing] - Do you want to go at it? Yeah, go on. [crowd cheers] Oh, no. - That's pretty- - We'll take it, we'll take it. Wig it, man. Wig it, man. [crowd cheers] Oh sh*t! [crowd cheers] Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [crowd cheers] - Psychopath. - That's awful. - All right, let's move.
Let's move that way. - Why can we not stay still? Bro. All right, round 26. Let's do round 26. - I can't see us. I wanna see us. - We're in a zoo. - We're on the good team.
- We're in a zoo, I tell you. [Vik laughs] I'd rather be on the
Swiss Alps playing golf, having a massage. - We could have played golf! - I've lost about three
kilogrammes of sweat. - That's good. - No, it's not! I'm gonna wake up with a hangover. I'm trying to not drink anymore. Vikkstar's about to play
the worst set of 2023, and then it's a f*ckin' disaster, man. - The best set of 2023. - Don't nut in the pool. - Bro, I might. - They've got cold plunge
here, by the way guys. Oh, yeah. - Is it cold cold?
- Oh, she's cold. - I don't want to go in. Do we have to go in? - Oh boy. Oh boy. [Ethan exhales] [water splashes] Now we're talkin'. Now we're talkin. [Simon yells] - All right, we're backstage. Vik's about to go on. - Harry's got his nosebleed out the way. I need Harry to MC at some point. It is a hip hop club, but Vik's about to drop
EDM on their heads. - A bit of tech house, a bit of techno. - I've had enough. I've had enough. I've had enough. - Had enough of what? - Oh, you got ear plugs.
- He got ear plugs. - Your music isn't that bad, don't worry. [Vik chuckles] - It'll be all right,
man. It'll be all right. Don't worry about it. Hey, yo, we out here at Core. - Hey, Vikkstar, what
glasses are you wearing, lad? - Circular.
- Oh my God! - This is what you're made for, Vikkstar. This is your reality. This is your dream. This is the time- - Oh, Ayia Napa. - I work hard. I work hard for Ayia Napa. - You know what? This would take some DJs years
to get to, and you're here. Already, in months. - That's true, that's true. - We're enjoying it, 'cause
you're not paid for this, we're doing it for free. It's fine.
- Free. I'm on the bad team and I'm
waiting to play at a club. Yes! - Who's got the bloke? - JJ. - No, no, check it out,
check it out, check it out. - Whoever's the odd one out. Three, two, one... [Simon and Tobi laughing] - No, no, I thought it
was like who won it. - Bro, we just talked about it just now. Oh, so we're in this one. We're in this one.
[JJ laughs] - He's workin'! He's workin'! ♪ I just wanna let it go for the night ♪ - One, two... One, two, three, let's go! ♪ All the crazy sh*t I did tonight ♪ ♪ Those will be the best memories ♪ ♪ I just wanna let it go for the night ♪ ♪ That would be the best therapy for me ♪ ♪ Hey, hey ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Hey, hey ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Hey, hey ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ - Hey, red team. [Ethan laughs] It's me, laughing at
your expense yet again. I couldn't feel better. Hey, Harry... [Ethan chuckles] I drove one off the tee box today, and hit a triple bogey. - And then you drove a Lamborghini. - And drove a Lamborghini. And I'm still getting a massage. Unlucky, buddy. ♪ All the crazy sh*t I did tonight ♪ ♪ Those will be the best memories ♪ ♪ I just wanna let it go for the night ♪ ♪ That will be the best therapy for me ♪ - Ayia Napa, if you think
Vikkstar123's a sexy Indian, make some noise! - What'd you say? - I panicked! I panicked! - Why did you say that? [calming music] - We actually scam a living. - No, man, we've worked hard for this. [Simon laughs] - We've worked for this. That's it. [JJ laughs] - This is our job. - Yeah, this is weird. - Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! - We're out here. We're
filming Sidemen Sunday. You're in Sidemen Sunday, make some noise! - Lads, we've got someone,
a very special guest. He's come a long way from the UK. Can you make some noise... For K-S-I! [crowd cheers] I'm only joking, sorry. [Harry laughs] - All right, anyway. Let's get this show on the road. I'm loving the energy here. - Why? - Let's keep it movin'! [Harry and Josh laughing] - Why have you done that? They got so excited. They got so excited to see
KSI, and they see Zerkaa. [Harry laughs]
Great, thanks. - So good, bro. Bro. - Are you guys ready to make some noise? [crowd cheers] Okay, let's go! Let's get it! ♪ It's not over yet ♪ ♪ Tell me why you started a fire ♪ ♪ It's burnin' up in my head ♪ ♪ Why do I always tell myself
that it's not over yet ♪ ♪ Why do I always tell myself
that it's not over yet ♪ - Okay guys, on the drop, even if you don't know it... Go crazy. One, two, three, go! [intense dubstep music] ♪ It's not over yet ♪ - What was the hardest part? - Probably having to
take a commercial flight. So hard. Especially at Sea Airport. Oh my God. Having to use my legs. Normally I get driven straight to the jet. - Oh God, let's... [JJ laughs] You're finished in Sidemen. [JJ chuckles] [intense club music] - Thank you! [crowd cheers] That was great, I hope you enjoyed it. Have a good night. I hope to see you all soon. [crowd chants] - Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! Sidemen! - f*ckin' hell. Good work. Good work, good work. - Well done. - Yes, Vikkstar! What a f*ckin' performance man, come on. - That's a wrap on day
1 in the cheap hotel. - We're the good team, like I told you. - We're the good team,
good team, good team. - You know what? That was fantastic. That was fantastic. - The whole day was good,
no? We're the good team. - It was a good day. It was a good day. It was a good day. - We are the good team. - I'm f*ckin' exhausted though. I'm so tired. Oh, goodness me. - Harry, I'm sorry for
getting your balls out! - It's okay, my friend. Don't worry, don't worry. - Did he get his balls out? - Huh? - Did we say he got his balls out? - The whole set, you know
that testicle shot of me? - Oh, wow. - It was the nut, like... I was trying to concentrate on your set, he was showing my testicles though. - Uh, we've been followed back. This is maybe an issue. - Yeah. People know where we live. - There's a crowd like coming... - Well, he put it on the strip. Of course it's gonna happen. - There's a crowd followed
the whole way here. - Miniminter! Miniminter, you brought
us too close to the strip, and then you made me play a set, and then everyone came to the set! - Everyone knows we're here! - And then they followed us out here. - The door doesn't lock,
it doesn't work properly. - I'm gonna go to our
hotel, if that's all right. - Fantastic. - Great, way. Brilliant, yeah. And we'll just... We'll just hope they stay and
wait outside all night, right? Is that what we do? - Enjoy the pussy pad. - They know where we
are now, we're finished. We're cooked. - It's fine. You're fine, man. - Yeah, man, so fine. - Bye, guys. Okay, enjoy. Bye. - A couple of red envelopes
and the good team. - Maybe there's like one more envelope that says, "Actually..." - "You're on the good team." [Josh laughs] "It was all a ploy" - Like a Harry video, you
can't tell which team is good. - You got a free DJ set,
that's the good team. - To be fair, that would've
cost us some money. - Do you know what? That was- - I've had two Vikkstar DJ
sets, and both in videos. [people shouting] - What?
- What? [people shouting] - Oh, for f*ck's sake!
[Josh laughs] - Wait, have the security gone home? - Is he on ket? [people shouting] - Oh my God. [Vik laughs] - Aw, sh*t... - Vikkstar! - What the f*ck? [Harry laughs] Oh no! Oh no! [kids shouting] [Harry laughs] - Not in the Simos Magic Hotel! [Harry laughs] - Oh no. Oh sh*t! - No, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. - Okay, okay, okay.
- Okay, okay. Okay, that's good. That's good. - Oh no! [Josh and Harry laughing] [Harry shrieks] - Oh, we can't leave. - We're compromised. - We'll get robbed. We'll
get robbed and killed. - We'll get kidnapped in the night. - How do you sleep with that outside? - Are we failing the
challenge if we move... [kids shouting] Are we failing if we move flats? - We got offered ket for 20 quid a gramme. [Josh laughs] - That's actually not
even that good a deal. [Josh and Vik laughing] How would you know? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - We might have to evacuate
to another Simos hotel. [person banging] - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, yo. - Oh no. [people shouting] [Josh laughs] - sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. sh*t. - All right, should we
just get in the car? - Have you got valuables here or not? No. - Should we just get in
the car and just go away? - Is the car there? - Or just go away. - Go away from here. Wait, no, maybe they're going. - Do you want my envelope? - Bro, I'm not staying
in this f*ckin' flat. - He's got 14 million subs, remember? - I'm not staying here, I'm not... Bro, I could get killed! That ain't stoppin'... This is single-paned glass. - You get more subs now, right? - One big boy is gonna burst through that. - You can get us a penthouse suite somewhere in Cyprus. - You know what? You know what? Let's get in the van, let's find a hotel- - Get in the van? - Get in the van, let's find
a hotel that has a room, and just the first one we can find. 'Cause now we could get dragged
off by fans in the night. All right?
- Are we good? - So, we've decided we're evacuating. - Have we got all our cameras?
We got everything here? - Yeah.
- Oh no! He's here! - Oh, Jesus, hello, hello, hello. - All right, we gotta go. We gotta go, we gotta go. - Boys, boys, boys, boys! - All right, we've decided, we gotta go. - Yeah, we gotta go. We
have to leave, sorry. - Can we have a picture? - No, no, no. Sorry, sorry, sorry. We have to go. Thank you guys, thank you guys. - Hang on, I'm locking up. - Josh? Can we have a picture? - We gotta go, man. [people chattering] - Thank you. Have a good night, guys. - It's calm, it's calm, it's calm. - Get me out of here! - Josh, you're a f*cking GOAT, all right? - My guy, I appreciate it. - Sidemen, love you! - Thank you guys, have a good night. Have a good night, guys. Have a good night. [Josh laughs] That's enough now, guys. Thanks, have a good night. - I've got ket! I've got ket! - He keeps telling us he's got ket. - I can tell in his face. - "I've got ket!" - Hello, boss. Hello, hello. - "23 a gramme, I got ket." [phones tapping] - f*cking Jesus Lord have mercy. - Oh no! Oh no. Miniminter! Miniminter! - Miniminter, what have you
done? We can't stay here. Okay, there's absolutely
no way we could stay there. - Simon, you've given me anxiety
that I've never had before. - We got next level compromised. - Bike ride, bike ride,
bike ride, bike ride- - Love a bike. - Yeah? - Specially his mom. Hey!
- Hey! - It is just a joke, isn't it really? - It's just a bit of a banter. - Until you meet Yinka and she'll be like, "Was I a bike?" [Tobi laughs] "You wanna ride me?" - No, I would never do that. - "Ethan, ride me." [JJ and Ethan laughing] - I would sh*t myself. "No, no, I'm sorry, sorry. I'm sorry, sorry. Sorry, Yinka, I'm so sorry, ma'am." - What's the next KSI haircut? - Bald. I reckon you go bald for a bit. - Nah, I think just like halfway, so- - Like your hairline starts
halfway up your head? - Yeah. - It already does. [Ethan chuckles] - I mean, no, but... [Ethan chuckles] - Gang, gang. Yeah, you know how it is. G! G-Unit and that. Skurrr! Pop, pop! - I've got a second hand embarrassment. [JJ and Con laughing] - Let's go, guys! [Ethan raps] - Gang sh*t, baby. Fun bike ride with my friends! - Wow, what a lovely day. [Simon laughs] - That was the most Brum
thing I've ever heard. "Innit jus?" - You wanna race? - I'm so down. - Three, two, one, go! Okay, Tobi's won. - You're on high, brother. - I'm on standard. - Why is this slow? [Tobi shrieks]
- My hat! [JJ laughs] f*ck's sake. Thanks, buddy. - Bro, this is nuts! - Oh, this is super cool, dude. The fact that I'm not
putting in much effort. - Yeah. - I'm doing a very slow cycle to climb a ridiculous hill. My asshole is uncomfortable though. - I'm up your ass, Simon. - Huh? - I'm up your f*ckin' ass. Bring it to me. - We're going that one? - Oh, wow. - Are we doing this? - Oh, this is f*ckin' cool. [Simon grunts] - I don't have the legs for this. Ethan, I'm gonna die! [Tobi chuckles] - Look at JJ. [Tobi laughs] - It's too high. - Too high? - It's too high. - If you wanna go back down,
I'm happy to go back down. - Yeah, I'm done. f*ck this.
- This is effort. - f*ck you guys. - Oh, yeah, this might be a... - Nah, we'll get there. - Yeah, I'm off here. - I want to get to this hut. - f*ck that sh*t, I'm out. Nah, brother. - Nah, bro, this ain't for we. The view's nice enough from
here, like, where you goin'? - See, them man, they're
looking for danger. [mellow instrumental music] - Okay, here we go. 304 is Vikkstar's room number, just in case you ever want
to stay in Vikkstar's room. [knocking] - Give him the wake up song. ♪ Vikky, wake up ♪ ♪ I don't like this ♪ ♪ Vikky, wake up ♪ Good morning, Vikkstar. - Yo. - Good morning. - You boys wanna film? - "You boys wanna film?" - All right. - All right. I'll see you in a second. - Let's race! - I'm gonna lose my hat,
I can feel it already. - Look at this guy- - Well, I know he would cut you off. - This guy's a crack head. - He would cut you off to win. [Ethan cheers] - I'm cryin'! [Ethan shrieks] - Brother is jetting it! I got tears in my eyes from
the wind and he's just- - Cool, man. Super cool dude moment. [Tobi shrieks] - Skrr, skrr!
- sh*t! I lost my hat again. [Ethan laughs] - Oh! Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. [camera rattles] Oh, oh! You okay? - Yep, yep, yep. Ah, f*ck. - Okay, where are you feeling the pain? - In my chest. - In your chest. - Just move me up. - Do you want me to move you? - Yep, yep, yep. - All right. - Day 2, Napa vibes. - Yes! - We are down 2 people. - Have we got the footage
of Vikkstar waking up? Have we got it? We do.
- Yeah! - It's currently, what
was the time, 11:30. - And we said 10. - Disgraceful.
- At the hotel reception. Yeah, we stayed here last night. Found the best hotel in
the area we could find. I feel bad-
- It's sorta cheating. - 'Cause we are the bad team. - Bro, we were getting attacked. [Josh laughs]
We were getting attacked. - It wasn't a safe idea to stay there. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - For safety. - Yeah, fair enough. - And now we've lost Vikkstar. - And we actually have to
leave to the airport now, so whatever that says, we're not doing. - Yeah, Simon, I'm really sorry, 'cause I know you need the content from whatever's in this but... It might be something good though. It might be a prize. It says "Morning, you have to open this." Okay, are you ready? - All right. - "Good morning!" - Yes. - "The morning is yours." - Well, it's not anymore. - "Look in town for Sidemen
presents from the stores." - Oh, no, I'm glad. That's a stinker. - We can-
- No, I'm not going... Bro, no. - We can get better
presents at the airport. - Well, we're gonna have to. We actually have to leave now. - Well, is Vik... - Is he like, coming? - I think so. - Napa has him now.
- Napa has him. - What if we just leave? Should we leave? - What? Just let him make his own way there? [Josh laughs] - All right, you know what? We'll see you at the airport or something. We'll get something for ya. Just cut back to the team in Switzerland, probably like blowing
on a horn or something. - Wow!
- Oh, wow! - My gosh. - They've got alphorns. - Oh my God, there's f*ckin' alphorns. - Bro... Beanie Minter. - Beanie Minter cooks. - Cooks. - Beanie Minter cooks. - I thought I'd never
see this thing again. [Simon laughs] Wow. - Oh, so Vik has missed out on this, so we'll tell them the good news. - Okay. - 'Cause we're not actually
off to the airport. Okay. You ready to hear? "Good morning. It is now time for your final fun notes." - No, I wanna go home. - "As a Cypriot tradition,
you're a sacrificing a goat." [Josh laughs] So we're off to kill a live goat. [Josh laughs] I'm joking, we're not. We gotta buy them gifts from a store. - But we're too late, so we have to do it at the airport. - That's fine. Why do they get gifts? I don't understand. - I don't know.
- I don't understand. - Why am I giving them these gifts? - We might be getting gifts though. Maybe we're getting gifts in return. - No, we never get gifts. - Swiss gifts. [alphorns blowing] - My God, they're doing it. [Simon laughs] [alphorns blowing] So that's how it's gonna sound. - Yeah. Not... [Simon mock horns]
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right. Look. - What is this. - I don't even like it. - Cheese. - We have a cheese fondue. - Cheese fondue. You've never had cheese fondue? - Oh my God. - So, here in the small glasses,
you have Cherry Schnapps. - Does it have alcohol in it? - Yes. - I've just blown my f*cking mouth off. [Simon gags] Oh, here we go. Oh my God. - Good? - Oh my God.
- Yeah. - I actually can't. I'm sorry, I need to get
that taste out of my mouth. - Yeah. - Ew! [JJ gags] f*ckin' hell, bruv. Smells like gasoline. - Thank you. - Do you think we would do
this if there's no cameras? - God, no.
- No. - Never, ever, ever, ever, ever. [JJ laughs] We're not mates. [JJ chuckles]
- Colleagues. - Cherry Schnapps? - It's lovely, bro. - You'd think it's Cherry Schnapps. - Oh, f*ck you. - Yeah, now he's pulling faces. - Yeah, yeah, there it is. - Yeah, it's not good. - This would be the sickest
thing to do as a date. - It would be. - You'd be getting bomb sex afterwards. - I mean, you'd hope. - Nah, just disgusting
sloppy noddy would do. [Simon laughs] I'm talking like spit everywhere. - Well, I got this for you, Ethan. [Ethan laughs] Cheers. - Cheers, everyone. - To Beanie Minter. - Beanie Minter cooked.
- Beanie f*ckin' Minter, man. [lighthearted music] - Okay, right. So, we gotta get a present for the boys. In the airport. From Memories of Cyprus. - Do you want a bag of olives, Vik? - I reckon J... You know, get that for Ethan. For Olive. - Ah!
- Yeah. - Olives for Olive.
- How fantastic. - What type of olive is she? - She's not a little white
one, that's for sure. [Josh laughs] - Spicy, let's go with that one. - I'll get her a spice... Oh, I don't wanna call her sloppy pit. [Vik laughs]
- Oregano. - She's not mixed. - You can go this one, yeah? - I'm gonna say she's baked. [Josh laughs] She's gonna get some baked olives. - Here's a cat. - Yeah, get that for JJ, and
then Buu can have a friend. - Or shave it. - We'll shave it. - You have Manscaped on ya? - I don't actually, no. - You know, when I get
home, I'll shave the cat, and I'll bring it to SIDECAST. - You know, that's hilarious. That's a good idea. - Yeah?
- Yeah. - I'm gonna shave the cat.
It might not work though. - Why don't we get him Ninjago? A Japanese racing car. - Sure. - Yeah? - Yeah, he'll actually probably like that. That's probably the best one of the lot. - What do you mean? We're gonna get a cat. We're gonna shave him. - Olives. Baked olives. - Yeah. [alphorns blowing] - His face. The geezer's face, he looks mortified. [alphorns blowing] [Tobi laughs] That's kinda smooth though. - Oh! Oh! - That was smooth. - Oh! - All right, now get your ass out. - Oh, he's doing the Thriller. Michael Jackson "Thriller",
now clap above your head. And that's the clap. There you go. - What's he doing? He looks like he's trying to do a poo. [alphorns blowing] [all clapping] Well done. Really well done. I watched all of it. - Right, here you go, Simon.
Here's some content you wanted. Because, look. You got Vik over there
chillin'. He's at peace. But I know these other boys are probably doing something cool in
Switzerland right now, so I'm gonna do something
cool in Cyprus, hopefully. [bell dings] What do you want? What's good? What do you want? Anything? I'll get you it. - Um, uh... - Whatever you want, I'll get you it. - One of the watches. - There's a watch there, Tokyo Fit. - There's a drone, top right. - Yeah, we can find a new drone. - Oh! I have to go up. - Please proceed to Gate 31 for boarding. Thank you. - Brother! - It's holding you. - Lucy, have you got euros? Oh no! Okay, well, we're back to the flight. - I'm gonna do a little roar. - You're gonna roar? - Yeah.
- Let's hear it. - Like a lion? - Five, four, three, two, one... [JJ screams] - He actually did a bit, you know. - There's an echo. - Bro, that was nuts.
- It sounds like nothing, bro. - I think I'm louder than him. - Go on. - What the f*ck?
- Listen. [Ethan screams] I'm hearing over there. - Yo! - I'm hearing over there, bro.
- That's crazy. - That was f*cking cool. [Simon screams] - Oh.
- No. - I gotta do it over there. - Okay, guys, it's been
enough now. I'm gonna die. [Ethan and Simon laughing] [Tobi screams] [intense EDM music] [intense EDM music continues]
