Shaq Roast 1

these Oh what's up man man we hit I don't know I don't think you should go yeah we got something for you hey wait we got something for you did you go you will enjoyment wait wait hey hey hey you need to come to this thing with me alright just as simple as that yeah get it get aboard your big ass let's roll let's roll boy we get them aside let's go go go well we're going man don't worry about hey no worry about it okay shop that is a Chinese ft pitbull don't worry about this I know where you will use with Orlando is what we're gonna do we're gonna go somewhere when anybody talked about you this could end up being as long as you stand at the free-throw man okay I'm trying to get you an it on the mindset to get another one yeah I'm saying so what do you wanna do this is DC man this team tonight we grill ran with it real since we getting real with it gained about let's put down Shaq night yeah thing about none of that matters about in this written let's wait just wait a minutes brother now raises evidence from in stock get point where he should be there's a lot to was early you can try to get out to do a second career saying that CD we're at it with coaching seedless violet get something off your mind talk to Mike Mike you dare to laugh listen my back provoking the people and chain the gallery trying to sell see oh you know you mind something but you know see this every time you give the interview you don't have a lot of emotion you just say you know all the motorboat and you've said no smiling goddesses leave me laughs Titans give me the great night man laughs I'm telling I'll go ahead and shut up no well we don't plan on setting up tonight that's for sure reunited you're the demon chick I will check his attitude indeed oh he's got a head on this nothing what gonna be lined out check out the middle seat darling get it off your bill for this stuff like a super uh sure look at his suit if he's smile should have split just be cool as Grady to put it if you wouldn't it gonna take somebody I oh just just get low I can't take credit risk when I came in they just blew me up so I don't even know what they did I like man here see they don't understand people dance got their own thing you gotta look at look at your torii with that X Bobby Brown backup dancer [ __ ] got her this one for you okay he can wear pajamas anywhere but he's my new husband smooth and as we zoom in real close we see we have an ex Curie J wearing this bring the latest and Lenny Kravitz underwear check out what I got you can look at my kid check it out I mean out just go with it you notice it ain't none you can save now why does nothing say boys you can see but you can see you can see the celebration man you can see that same person on HBO real sex 59 same outfit can't come to yo if you open his shirt he got a blue tiger so his pants met Lou Garanimals so he's got a suede drawers with a zipper and feathers don't forget the suspenders should we get on the stage it's time it's time for the roast are you ready let me know if you're ready a sandy entertainer and it's time for the Shaquille O'Neal celebrity roast it's the Shaquille O'Neal all-star comedy roast featuring Steve Harvey Queen Latifah Sid the Entertainer DL Hughley Jimmy Kimmel Dick Gregory Monique Michael Collier mark curry Joe Torre and Tommy Davidson now kicking it off here is Bill Bellamy I didn't think my head burn I don't know what the hell was going on well first of all Shaquille and I have been friends for like ever you know I'm saying I knew him before he had any money and he was just wearing big-ass shoes for no reason you know but he's grown to become a great player I'm just hoping that you know he'll come back and play because every year he comes up with a real [ __ ] excuse why he don't like last year hit Tomic hurt and I go by I go by the house I'm like Shaq you too big to be telling people you're coming hurt but he said he did it did so this year his foot hurt his foot is too big to hurt and but he said he coming back he said he's gonna play you know I don't know if he'll ever get the ball cuz uh hey I'm just keeping it real that's my man he got to get the goddamn ball if he don't make her free though we know the deal he got to get the rock okay he gets too much damn honor I wanna see if I can break some oh it's on PBS okay well I would like to see the fella make something I just want to say also to even though we're supposed to kill him you know he is a really great person has a big heart you know I'm trying to get sentimental I'm just saying for real he's a good person he's a big big hearted guy and he gives a lot of he's passionate about the game you know I think he's crazy as hell to have a rose because when you have rose you have too many imperfections to I mean big as hell his head is huge I mean when he shake your hand he under your armpit people think he got big cars cuz he got money no he can't fit in [ __ ] but he my dog you my dog you know as far as you know the ladies are conservative stuff a lot of ladies you know like Shaquille he I hear that he's very huge so it could cause back problems for y'all cuz if he fall asleep on you you ain't going nowhere oh that's my time about [ __ ] I talk to your mama earlier I was trying to figure out what's the thing with the name what's Jack here what was you thinking about when you said [ __ ] you know the kids gonna tease you Shaq Shaq you come Shaq for short Shaq of it that's a little house like a house with just one window and no door that's a this ain't no Shaq this is condominium condominium not Shaq Alicia's not no Shaq and then the thing that really gives me a second I'll be honest which action scene I'm bad but don't Shakeel sound like something you get on the bottom of your foot you just yeah it's like I got right here near the hill I got a shock here it hurt I rubbed it but it's getting better we were sitting in the car today and I noticed the shoes now the man's foot is 22 he has on the side 23 shooter why the hell would a 22 where 23 you already big enough what why two extra rooms he told me his toes are all curled up like that and they have to have some Brie I said why you do that he said well when he go out and shop for the socks he's sometime batter socks a little too big so he had to pull of socks up with a jet you know how to he'll match the heel then he had to fold that toe so all is told they all bunched up like a bunch of people they won't know what's going on so you have to have just a scooch more rooms there's no room bunch of people the only way to move that butt so I saw your free-throw and I think I think it's improving um no you ain't made one that does anyone I'm saying I'm just saying you getting closer to the actual hole and that that's what's important you ain't gonna be perfect people just keep trying now I'm trying to teach him a little something about dressing um he's finally getting together though this this piece here this this nice here I'm about the cuff thing because this is really nice he putting it together he's coming along with it the man is making me proud ladies and gentlemen he's one of my heroes Shaq having fun so far are you having fun yeah you're a good man this is a lot to take people just talk about everything I'm having a good time so thanks for letting me be here with you shot all right we're gonna hear a nice little message for you from our very good friend and superstar now deal here we are Hey Shaquille this is DL Hughley and I want you to know that just because your birthday is March 6 and my birthday is March 6 that is not why you're my favorite player you the best athlete in the world and I'm just telling you you you're awesome and the only thing more scary than the earthquake in California is you coming out with another rat record don't do that again man I'm just he'd only cannot know that made a record that didn't even go would LaToya Jackson beat him selling albums now just stay away from that and put down the damn Krispy Kreme now come on now come on your arch ain't flat is tired then come on give it a break and another thing I know that I'm talking a lot of stuff and you can see me and you could probably jump on me but I know how to get out of it I dressed like a free throw and you never hit me happy roast and not chicken baby go you killed over Shaquille O'Neal man a rose man made a hundred million dollars last year hut an 80 million cheap as hell cheapest hell flew us out here in Southwest Airline Southwest you know you're dealing with black people the tickets funny you get up there are you in the military you know let me get a supervisor we'll be right back I'm loving the clothes 100 million dollars Geppetto made to shoes pattern stuff we don't know your past I love it that's when you got too much money you don't even know fairytale Oh McDonnell yeah we got the silk all say anybody else's be a best friend cops on you're doing too much with the clothing when you're 72 wear black like it I'm six six you your blinging too much your blinging to my art he do like this he'd be the Washington Monument women I remember one all-star game you had the fur boots on and the fur fur coat and the fur hat yes that was too much bling for the plane lynnie crab this was saying that's too much Chinese people feel phenomenal guy you know if you look at it 7:42 here's a charisma of a man 5 foot 11 you know good guy you know he's real good people he went platinum went platinum seven foot two and went platinum I didn't buy it but he were planted it's what to say I'm happy to be here Thank You Shaq and you know maybe you could put us on United and Delta on the way back he said I would be staying at a suite I'm staying two embassy suite this is ridiculous I'm so spread a little money you know giving them you know give it back you know and you know when and when you get a suit made put the cuffs on the on the pants all right and it's all this Flintstone buttons just don't work good luck to you check we're glad to be here man sada how's everybody doing it's gonna get serious boy baby get all beware I know what's know I am shag spit oh yeah this is an opportunity for me to lay things plain okay all right this man right here has been a lot to me over the years all right I was with him before Orlando in Newark anybody from Jersey they didn't have no roaches in Zach's house his feet rotary skated a boy feed hainan come out to cover at night I'm gonna D we used to go fishing when we were young it's beautiful we didn't even use fishing rods chef's for takeoff machine we welcome to the side of the screen shakka thought was put up near put a fish right out the street but any about all that tonight I mean about all I can't fish create the crowd of getting bow dad all right I'm very vexed about the laughing that's going on tonight it ain't about laughing at this man is about honoring him this as simple as that this man has done his alright Melanie doesn't have a really big heart but he got some big-ass teeth I found out very early a life he came to my new apartment found I didn't need it I didn't need a can opener I think one of the most unique attributes of this man right here you scared the hell out of my German Shepherd to the only person I made my dog get out of are my dogs Aussie then broke my damn dog but there are two attributes okay two very special and unique things about this man that I think are incredible okay I like to show them to you now you don't mind ladies and gentlemen check shoe theater guardzilla let me shoot in her two Mississippi parents give him out and the fridge shun she's a team strong moving in the right direction living just no don't of the city huh huh the hell it is sometimes people success is not doesn't go in the same parallel as the personality a lot of people have got successful and I have changed towards me it's putting in my um but he's consistent in his character and that's the thing that I respect the most and anything everyone's for me you get it just on the strength of that thanks for having our next roaster of the evening it's sitting a very special message to me so please give it up for Moni hey Shay how you doing brother you must know I am your biggest fan and I don't care what they say about you on the free-throw line you are the man you don't worry about that you are MVP most valuable player and I mean player see they don't know how I know you it ain't nobody's business how I know you they tell me your feet since I was 22 I knew that you know what I'm saying and you know what they say about brothers with big feet and big hands they wear big shoes and big gloves and in your case you need to take them big hands and practice on your free-throw Shaq I'm tired of defending you I know you got the potential Shaq use it feel it love it when you get to that line say to yourself like the little engine that could I think I can I think I can and then damn you throw it up and you miss what is that about Shaq what is that about you know what I'm saying I mean you know I want you to feel the ball and feel the net so Shaq alicia's I say to you continue one which are big feet and big hands and make some big free throws do it for me Shaq do it for the kids do it for all of America to you I say shackle Isha's I love you be strong and make a damn free-throw first thing we think and praise God we've all made it here safely today I can truly say that Shack I met before many of you all that I met him when he was like young LSU but uh brother Brown and he used to ask me a lot of questions about health and nutrition and tonight when I walked in he told me it's what it's just about healed and he knew always travel with my little Jensen tube so he asked me did I have one and I didn't pop one and then I just realized a few minutes ago I gave him my bag but by mistake so I don't know what they've been saying about you is true but we better get out of here for you white folk me I wanted a few brothers that will admit I used viagra using when you catch a brother buying and he sway he buying it for a white boy you know I used mine in fact always ask me questions about health I remember he called me up and said you know how do you how do you know when you get Noble I'm using a lot of energy out here simple you're just anytime someone complimented them beautiful alligator shoes you win and you barefoot it you know you get nowhere anytime you go to the training the trainer say I think you need x-ray and they just hold you up to the light you're not and you really know you get no when your lady call you and say hey run upstairs let's have a little sex and you see you know I can just do one or the other now a lot of things have happened since I met you in college I didn't know you've been at all in failed businesses let me just let me just say to you my brother we thank you for what you've been doing out here for the young folks and hear me good I don't know where you go when you leave this planet but you go somewhere and there probably be a ledger and then that led you there'd be no place for how many free-throws did you make how much money did you make a hotshot and I told you your simple questions what did you do for my children and did you smile a lot I love you thank you

Channel: NuttVision

Views: 704,066

Rating: 4.5706463 out of 5

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Id: EZQIiV9HVJk

Length: 24min 0sec (1440 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 18 2015