Jeff Ross Roast of Emmitt Smith

oh my god if you think I'm going to hell waiter this [ __ ] comes up he's going to hell in a handbasket ladies and gentlemen without further adieu Jeff Ross how about a hand for your host Jamie Foxx everybody nice to see you back of men's clothes I tried to look good I got a haircut does this look bad you could tell me you know it's a bad haircut we're halfway to the haircut the guy just drops his scissors and he goes [ __ ] [ __ ] his [ __ ] this is all right nice to see him thanks for having me you know I I was so excited to be here see Jack and Emmett hang out with all these comedians I felt like I died and went to Harlem this ain't a roasted to barbecue gasps a Gavazzi a I would see this many black people in one place since dawn king of Mike Tyson we're handing out free turkeys some mugs about man everybody but sloppy waiting this [ __ ] but this is great it's really an honor to be here at the Wayans brothers family picnic I'll keep it short because moose Johnson did all my [ __ ] like Jamie said our Kelly wanted to be here but he was arrested that guy went from [ __ ] young [ __ ] to being young [ __ ] they just want a priest color he wouldn't have these problems today but Emmet you know I'm here for basically two reasons first reason is I'm a big big fan of yours second reason is Shaq sent me a beautiful letter saying he wanted me to comb it was for charity and it was really from shaft because it was signed sha CK Shaq man you look good you look good congratulations you your uh your knuckle subscrip did you walk in I'll not say anything I'm not saying shatters like a gorilla boy so I'm trying to peel a microphone is he laughing horshack he took me to see Siegfried and Roy last night halfway through the white tiger started barking at him and I know shark I know your world champ and I know your world champion but you so big and clumsy washing play basketball I'm watching a [ __ ] [ __ ] Jackie take more bad shots in Jason Williams is he here damn [ __ ] I'm teasing you shock you no doubt you were great in the Green Mile now come on man Chuck even you gotta admit your movies are bad man look at me all right stop making movies now memorize that and repeat it to Rick Fox and [ __ ] up but Shaq you know stick the basketball s your thing you know this year the Lakers swept the nets like Joe Torre's or sweep this place up after we leave there's a hot crowd Jamie you want them up hey baby I'm whistle [ __ ] Nate Newton won't be here but he had trouble stuffing his weed into the overhead compartment Jerry Jones wanting to be here but he had anything better to do and Troy Aikman wanted to be here but he got a concussion opening the invitation Oh this is a cool day and so you got Jimmy Johnson having a hand for one of the best coaches here tonight Jimmy the Dolphins called they want their deposit back ah this is all right but the real man of the honor tonight is living legend Emmitt Smith if I can get serious for a second for monique's right don't you have a manager agent to tell you about these commercials you're a future hall-of-fame you're doing commercials with out-of-work puppet what they couldn't get the robot from Lawson space they couldn't get the parrot from beretta but you know we all can come up to the microphone and make fun but the truth is every comic up here dreamed of one day being a Dallas Cowboy and the only one who even came close was Monique oh come on Monique oh she's a big girl don't get your ass kicked in here now ya know unless it is to keep it over there at the roast barbecue whatever the caller if I get up I heard shots penis is so big right now it's being roasted at Caesar's Palace they made our years ago I saw you play at the Super Bowl in Atlanta and I was always rooting for Buffalo because they had lost a few in a row and I always root for the underdog but your family was sitting in the box right next to mine and they were throwing out so much love and cheering you on so hard and I started cheering for you and I've been cheering for you ever since much love Emmitt Smith god bless people Baltimore baby we gonna hit that later hit that later give it up a Jeff Ross they do a great job still can't get a job on TV that's great jeff posnick so small he could people

Channel: Nero RoxXx

Views: 7,353,008

Rating: 4.8402877 out of 5

Keywords: jeff, ross, shaq, roast, emmitt, smith

Id: qzts4Q_ak3E

Length: 8min 11sec (491 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 14 2008

Reddit Comments

[u/Feet_of_Frodo]

That one time he did roast shaq.

[u/Two20two_ii]

Then the one time Doug Williams attempted to roast anyone. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pIg3swuVagc

[u/salmon10]

I thought he was going to quip after he said 'did you walk here?" With " Because I bet Kobe carried you here"