Schlatt Ranks EVERY Cookie

how's it going boys my name is schlatt and welcome back to the vods channel last friday i streamed an interactive cookie tier list we got all the cookies in the world and chat voted on their favorites and we pissed some people off so without any further ado please enjoy the vod guys i stream every friday at 8pm eastern be there ladies and gentlemen how are we doing how are we feeling tonight on this beautiful friday evening you've decided to join me instead of doing anything else better with your life and there's things you could be doing guarantee that guarantee it honestly who's here for the first time who's tuning in for the first jay schlatt stream nah you guys are all here you guys were here the first time you guys were the second time and you'll be here next time next friday don't know what we're doing yet ah okay you guys know what time it is uh i suppose we'll kick we'll we'll just we'll just kick it into high gear eh i got my classic tearless ranking strongly opinioned white man uniform on first family of course barack michelle sasha and malia how we doing ah oh this is gonna be so good man this is gonna be so good this is honestly this this i am excited for let me know if the music is uh too loud how we feeling on this music you feeling all right can you hear me is it too loud oh man too loud are we good i need my mods to uh to let me know how we feeling on this is it good is this a good volume listen today's a big one big one fellas i had not all right listen listen when i say this i don't want you to get scared i don't want you to get i don't want you to get scared this time but i had one of my you know computer scientist friends one of my buddies i had him write something up oh he wrote something up he wrote something up boys let me tell you you don't even want to know what this dude wrote up has a music now we good [Music] no no no we're not banning anybody this time but you guys will probably notice to my left i'm looking at it right now i'm looking at you guys you guys are on the stream today you guys are on the stream and this is your stream this really is uh this really is the chats stream today because what we're gonna be doing [Music] should i just get it should i just get the box i'll get the box oh jesus [ __ ] christ see this [ __ ] you see this oh my lord in this box ladies and gentlemen in this box every single cookie known to man non-demand in the united states at least i don't know what you guys are doing in the uk or wherever else you're watching from i remember the last uh dude the last uh the last serial tier list that i did which passed 10 million views on youtube by the way just thought i'd mention that 10 million viewers it's a lot of people it's a lot of people past 10 million views all you all you like english people like oh yeah or where the cocoa pups and i looked it up and that was like the only cereal you guys have the only one [Music] kind of sad if you ask me a little sad [Music] but this is america i have been getting fatter every day of my life and so uh it is only fair if i indulge in more sugary delectable succulent sweets today in the form of a box full of every single cookie known to men we got it all we got chips ahoy chips deluxe milano all that [ __ ] all right we're gonna go through the uh we're gonna go through the list i wanna show you a little something i uh i whipped up you see it we seen it there's a tier list s to f i mean you guys know how it works at this point right you guys know how the tier list works s being the best the top of the line the best cookie it doesn't get better than this does not get better than this s does not get better f f is bad f is f is if cutie cinderella comes to your house and starts cooking [Music] [Music] so the box is here we're going to go through them one by one we're going to rank them it is your job you'll see up here there's a little overlay we got s all the way here all the way here s f okay what i want you to do when you see the cookie up in the top when you see the cookie up here when you see the timer it is your job to type and chat what you think it is where would you rate it where would it be on s to f okay can you do that can you do that for me [Music] your job okay and then i'll give my opinions and probably piss you off in the process as i give it my own rating on the tier list all right so you get one vote okay do not spam it i mean you can you can spam it if you want but your vote will only be counted once on this uh on in the grand scheme of things and also um if you don't know what the cookie is please do not vote okay can we do that don't don't like come up with the fake answer oh yeah i don't like i don't like chips ahoy i've never had chips ahoy but just by the just by the wrapper it feels like an f or something don't do that okay simple rules people simple a simpleton could do this so easy a caveman could all ready shall we what is this song what are we doing here can i skip this one jesus all right here we go boys are we ready are we ready the first cookie of the night chat votes on it put it in chat boys chips ahoy chips ahoy baby what are we feeling on chips ahoy the timer just started put it in chat what do you think look at the [ __ ] numbers fly whoa [Music] now i'm not gonna lie to you um i'm just gonna give you a minute okay you just get a minute to decide what you think chips ahoy is and then i'll give my opinion afterwards sound good sound good oh wait what am i doing i forgot half my stick i forgot half my stick jesus all right well it really isn't cookies if you know if you don't have some [ __ ] milk you know whole milk that's what we're talking about man oh [ __ ] i just spilled it all over the place spilled the milk all over the place got some cups too i'm gonna do a little dink thinking sink and uh all these little cookies we got you know doesn't get better than this so [Music] chips ahoy we're opening them up chat has decided chips ahoy is a b-tier cookie not bad now it's my turn chad you guys think this is a b tier cookie i'm not gonna lie to you this is the most basic cookie imaginable this is what you think of when you think of a chocolate chip cookie it is it is quite literally the default option and you know what you know how i like to do these things right we start in the middle this is the default this is what you judge every single cookie on afterwards and look at this the rapper is just they're completely [ __ ] destroyed here destroyed this is the base tier cookie boys and i will not take any other answer give it a little little dip in the milk [Music] how do we feel about that though am i right dude chips ahoy is the ground floor it's like this is the ground floor cookies okay it's just what you get and so i think it's fair as the expert in the field i think it's fair if we put chips ahoy at a very very decent sea how we feeling on that we feeling good 16 of you agree with me most of you thought it went a little bit higher but at the end of the day i don't [ __ ] care you can go [ __ ] yourself we're going back [Music] okay i gotta rearrange some of my like overlays and stuff give me 30 seconds okay all righty next up boys oh i like this one chips ahoy rainbow how we feeling candy blast chips ahoy this is just chips ahoy with little m m's in it but the the [ __ ] problem is the thing that pisses me off about chips ahoy rainbow is that they're not m m's what is this can't with candy pieces with candy pieces oh candy pieces not even m m's you're not even going the extra mile getting the license getting the food in there man a little disappointing [Music] but but what it's worth i think these are pretty good we have a we got 20 seconds left on the timer it looks like you guys get your votes in get your votes in how we feeling god the chat is going so fast [Music] perfect look here's the thing here's how i feel through and through you guys have voted d d you guys think you guys think regular chips ahoy are better [Music] wow listen that is surprising that is actually surprising why is hold on i have a window of miss kiff's stream open right now i'm gonna close that hmm here's my problem with these cookies right they're not bad m m's i think i think any cookie would benefit from m ms on top of it all right am i am i am i right in that i think m m's just make a cookie better they taste delicious the problem is when your base cookie is chips ahoy which is just it's just a seed tear like this is this is a basic cookie guys so it can't get much better i will say ted neverson had to order an entirely new box of these things because when he was over this is the only thing he ate i had a whole box of them sitting out because i was ready to do the tier list a couple weeks ago he ate the entire [ __ ] box himself it was honestly was embarrassing give it a little dink a little sink it's a good cookie unfortunately because the reasons i listed look with the regular chips ahoy base you can't really knock it out of the park here i'm gonna say chips ahoy rainbow i'm putting this at a decent b it's it's better it is better than regular chips ahoy okay and there's nothing you guys can say to convince me otherwise it is not a d tier cookie sorry sorry go cry about it we're done with these how we feeling so far is this system working good is this system working good do you like having a say in things you guys are [ __ ] loud you know i know how twitch chat out for race you guys want to have a say in everything i just drink milk sometimes nice big glass of milk alrighty next up on the list boom chunky chips ahoy how we feeling on chunky chips ahoy boys let me know let me know chunky chips ahoy this is just regular chips ahoy with bigger chunks of chocolate has not been opened yet oh i guess someone might have snuck a singular cookie out hmm okay chad's liking this one you guys are liking this one huh a is the prevailing prevailing vote here interesting all right get your votes in you got 20 seconds left i'm gonna dip it in the uh little milk [Music] okay okay chunky chips ahoy listen can i be honest with you guys can i be honest i have just never liked chunky cookies okay maybe it's because i prefer like a decent ratio a more reasonable ratio of the dough to the chip but it's just too chocolaty it's just too chocolatey okay and in this case it's too much and again it's regular chips ahoy cookies so it's not good to begin with i'm right i'm right and you know i'm right i'm putting chunky at d i think it is worse this is just a worse cookie than even the original okay most you guys are saying hey oh man i'm mine and salt already oh here we go are you guys ready what happened to my chat oh it's just going way too fast [Music] hey hold on i want to try something guys when i'm when i so this is going to be repurposed this is going to be repurposed into a youtube video right so what i want you guys to do is i'm going to give at the beginning of the end of the video itself i'm going to give a little description not on stream but i'm going to show footage of what was going on so you guys know what to do spam some high youtubes and maybe you'll get in there how we feeling is that reasonable is this reasonable how we feeling boys hi youtubes wow look how fast that chat's going you guys ready to be pissed off it's it's moving so [ __ ] fast it's crashing chaturino holy [ __ ] that overlay's moving at moving like molasses alrighty [Laughter] chewy chips ahoy baby oh this excites me how do we feel about chewy chips ahoy oh wow yeah a lot of people like biting into a soft cookie huh [Music] how we feeling [Music] this milk is dripping on me because i spilled it on the pore and i'm putting it back down in a milky on a milky desk and it's whatever chewy chips ahoy hmm these just have always i don't know rubbed me the wrong way all right let's get the box out how's the chat feeling you got 15 more seconds boys do you even dip these in milk do we dip these in milk i don't even know if you need to they're mushy regardless [Music] this is fun i'm having fun this is where i'm gonna piss a lot of people off but because youtube has hidden the dislike button i don't care i don't care anymore [Music] let me just rip the band-aid off chewy cookies are for terrible people there is nothing that excites me about a cookie that you bite into and it's just mush this [ __ ] tastes like rubber and it feels like rubber and you should feel bad for putting this in your [ __ ] mouth s tear you guys think there's an s-tier cookie the best of the [ __ ] best are you kidding me you're ridiculous you guys are smoking crack and shooting up heroin at the same exact [ __ ] time if you think this is a good good cookie you should feel bad you should feel bad about liking chewy chips ahoy [ __ ] you chewy chips ahoy my official rating f this is one of the worst things you can put in your body oh my god oh my god it's so bad it's so bad and i love how upset you guys are about it oh you're so upset [Music] i'm sorry i like crunchy cookies i like crispy cookies but chewy chewy come on you can be better than this and you know you can be better than this you've really let yourself go on a similar note i guess we'll get this one out of the way chips ahoy chewy with reese's in it [Music] oh man chips ahoy chewy with reese's wow wow now most people like reese's right most people like reese's reese's make everything better than like m m's you get a little peanut butter tang in there am i right [Music] how do we feel i'm i'm imagining most people have not even had this cookie before right like where where even where does this even come from but what's funny is that as the votes are coming in you guys have taken my previous my previous opinion into account and you're giving it f are you guys a bunch of sheep you guys are a bunch of sheep it's just the regular chewy cookie with reese's in it what's the if you guys thought it was an s tier without the reese's why is the reese's bring it all the way down to f you guys are a bunch of [ __ ] [ __ ] [Music] you get one rhesus cup in there one little tiny bite-sized piece that you get during halloween and there'd be a [ __ ] like there'd be [ __ ] poison in it sorry voting is closed 45 you think it's an f-tier cookie next highest is s with 15 that's split that's pretty split meme lover one two three ninety in the chat saying schlatt you are always right i know now look reese's are good but you cannot you cannot put this on your worst [ __ ] cookie and expect it to expect me to love it it's ridiculous it's ridiculous chips ahoy chewy with reese's f f crimey a river oh man jesus [Music] gross terrible i need a lot i need a little palette cleanser [Music] okay i think that's all of chips ahoy that's all we got for chips ahoy now we move on to the better version of chips ahoy i'm excited for this [Music] chips deluxe baby how we feeling on chips deluxe good old keebler elf [Music] we feeling good on chips deluxe hey listen peel here i can't even get it open chat seems to agree with me i think chip's deluxe are just [Music] they're just a better version of chips ahoy it's just a crunchier better tasting cookie a little crispier too this is a fantastic cookie in milk in milk this is this is fantastic right out of the fridge oh man oh man give it a little sink in the milk you guys got 15 seconds on the clock most of you seem to be going with a and b not too split over here some of you wrote an f why f why are you filled with hatred [Music] come on man so good all right one and close b you guys have decided on b all right well here's the thing right like where is it where's the box all right chip's deluxe is just a better version it's just a better version of chips ahoy everything about this cookie is better it's crunchier the chocolate tastes better the dough tastes better everything about it's better and look at this guy look at this little elf guy the keebler elf he just looks so polite doesn't he doesn't he just look polite he looks like a good dude and honestly i'm still not over chips ahoy's [ __ ] marketing campaigns do you remember those weird ass commercials with the cookies with the really small eyes like in the middle and they were like sideways you didn't quite know which way they were oriented terrible commercials scared me scared me i'm putting ships ahoy at b i think this is just a better cookie i agree with you guys on this one better cookie than chips ahoy original chips deluxe there you go we're going to the next one [Music] god there's so much salt in the chat right now i love it i love it [Music] okay well let's go to the next one i'm excited rainbow chips deluxe and look look what it is oh is that m m's is that actual m m's in the [ __ ] cookie did they actually go the extra mile and get m m's in the cookie let me tell you boys this guy knows what the [ __ ] he's doing this guy knows what the [ __ ] he's doing these cookies go so [ __ ] hard so hard dude you pull these out oh my god there's oh three oh my [ __ ] god three right three m m's on each cookie here's what i used to do as a kid maybe if you're right around it bite around it [Music] make a little perimeter a triangle of m m's if you will [Music] and then that last bite is just the most delicious thing you will ever taste in your life this is a solid [ __ ] cookie 50 of you agree half of everybody watching right now knows what's up [Music] dude this is where it's at this is damn near the perfect cookie i'm giving it an s s for chips deluxe eminem how we feeling [Music] might as well [Music] that health knows something we don't telling you right now i don't know if it's something good either [Music] but god damn that's a good cookie my hat's going a little down alrighty what do we got next how we feeling about famous amos boyce famous amos [Music] since 1975 wonders from the world made with belgian chocolate oh you guys seem to like this s coming out on top already [Music] jesus hey while you guys are voting i gotta turn the ac down it is [ __ ] hot in here [Music] [Music] how we doing 15 seconds on the clock wow look at this you guys seem pretty on the same page that famous amos are good [Music] and honestly i agree with you i think famous amos are a very good regular cook i think famous davis [Music] i think fit i think famous amos are a very good regular chocolate chip cookie they get the right amount of crisp i gotta just redo the line i'm not going to mess up in the youtube video i just got to re-film it here they got a nice little crisp to them a nice little crunch at the same time honestly show me this amos guy and why and let me know why he's so famous show me the same as guy and let me suck his dick because this is a good cookie someone in chat just said it tastes like ashes bro come on now that's just a lie i do like how like do you see do you see this hello hello can you focus on the cookie do you see how like sandy it is it's it's it's like i love that and that's something that's very unique to famous amos [Music] what does this amis guy look like i did say i would suck his dick [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] um [Music] i'm giving famous amos a very respectable b i think there's a b tier cookie it's better than chips ahoy for sure i give it around the same tier as the original chips deluxe i think these are two pretty decent pretty good regular chocolate chip cookies i gotta i got i gotta be a man of my word jesus hey if he's still alive you know i know he's making a killing on these cookies surely he's got some some cash to spend on me for a good night guys don't say why he kind of please well okay this one i'm excited about this one i'm excited about how we feeling royal danks you remember these cookies that would always be at grandma's house in the tin the butter cookies right the butter cookies wow holy [ __ ] look at this look at the split look at the split on this jesus christ these cookies are made by people who are dead yes good good observation chet man listen we all remember going to grandma's house and seeing this blue tin right on the dining room table and then you'd open it and there'd be [ __ ] there'd be like [ __ ] sewing kits inside little threads of [ __ ] i don't even care about that go [ __ ] yourself grandma i want the butter cookies because you know what they're good these are good cookies wow that is so unbelievably split so unbelievably split i don't think we're ever going to see anything else like that what else is that divisive listen i'm gonna i'm gonna be a fence sitter all right when there's not old people [ __ ] in the royal dance container you're gonna have a good time i think these are very solid regular like these are these are just good cookies they're solid they don't get me out of bed every morning but uh but i'll give them a nice b we got a lot of b's on the board geez how do we feel about b listen i sometimes sometimes you gotta just meet in the middle you know a lot of people thought s a lot of people thought f y f what is so like is it just because of the debate like do you just have bad memories of always opening up the 10 and there's just like thread inside is that why it's f ah they're nasty it's just shortbread it's just butter i think they're good i think they're good okay next cookie where is it bisque off i ate half the sleeve we got lotus bischoff cookies these are like a they're like a cinnamony type thing you know cinnamon shortbread type deal [Music] how do we feel about them whoa holy [ __ ] s dude bisque advertises these as like coffee's favorite cookie or something like that i have never seen anyone eat these with coffee here's the only time you ever eat a biscoff cookie you're eating a biscuff as some dude is getting pulled off of the united airlines plate and you're just you're just like you're just [ __ ] munching on them you're just sitting there huddled up in your in your aisle seat as they drag a bloody man off the plane [Music] hmm [Music] listen i'm kind of torn here i don't really know how i feel about the biscoffs you guys have overwhelmingly voted s on them is it just because of like what else do you have a biscoff except on a [ __ ] delta flight like i i don't really understand it too much have you ever seen a sleeve of these have you ever gone to the grocery store and bought biscoff they're not even in the store they're only on the flight only on the flight and honestly i have had so many bad experiences on delta that i can't give this cookie anything better than a c sorry [Music] sorry delta has has bent me over lubed me up and [ __ ] me so many times that this cookie has been tainted tainted [Music] i love that whole i love that whole like coffee's favorite cookie thing because it's like it's like it's like lotus trying to convince you that that you're that your cookie is like a variety twitch streamer instead of like a minecrafter which is which is me by the way this is all i've been doing unsuccessfully by the way it's not it will always be a shitty delta cookie i'm sorry sorry sorry guys what else we got oh i'm excited about this stuffers gingersnaps how we feeling on gingersnaps flying through the chat [Music] do you hear how crunchy these [ __ ] things are they're so hard [Music] wow [Music] 15 seconds left in the chat holy [ __ ] half of everybody here is giving gingersnaps an f how do you vote just type your rating in the chat from s to f and we're thrilled why don't you guys like ginger snaps what's the difference between these and biscoff all right listen i'll give you this [Music] i'll give you this no one cool has ever eaten a gingersnap in their life okay no one cool you get no [ __ ] if you eat gingersnaps but i maintain this is a better biscoff cookie i love the crunch the flavor is more intense it is more powerful it is more enjoyable and at the end of the day these [ __ ] things aren't going to charge you 20 bucks for in-flight wi-fi and then it just doesn't work like you're on your phones trying to get to the [ __ ] go-go in-flight [ __ ] you [Music] cry about it biscoff have nothing on gingersnaps sorry gingersnaps i'm giving a b another b oh you guys are so mad oh you guys are so mad [Music] oh you guys are so mad you're so mad about this one oh dude gingers i'm not gonna lie to you i had to buy more bags of this because i had never i had never had ginger snaps in my life i was of that same belief i was getting [ __ ] i was [ __ ] women and dudes sometimes and and and i tried it for the first time and i'm like holy [ __ ] this is a good cookie immediately my well dried up no more [ __ ] for schlatt but god damn it these are good cookies and i bought more on amazon because i finished the first box before i film this [Music] next one [Music] oh jesus christ here it is let's talk about this frosted sugar cookies [Music] [Laughter] oh man how we feeling about these the store-bought frosted sugar cookies no brand name they're just everyone makes them and they're all over the place and you can't get away from them [Music] my god dude i can't even open it you have no idea how much courage it took for me to not break into these [ __ ] there it [Music] how are we feeling on is 10 seconds left in the chat s is flying f's flying this is almost as divisive as uh the royal dansk not not as divisive i mean the majority of you do believe that this is an s-tier cookie oh my god but for those of you who said f this opinion might hurt even more than the chewy chips ahoy opinion i am a [ __ ] for these cookies i cannot i cannot i cannot get away from them they are everywhere they taste so [ __ ] good but at the same time bad [Music] dude [Music] dude every [ __ ] bite you take of these tastes so good but feels so bad so bad [Music] [Music] eating these cookies is like every dude when they jerk off you know it feels so good in the moment but then once you're done and once you've eaten the entire container and you put the gay porn away it's just you just feel like [ __ ] you just feel like [ __ ] i'm not even gonna eat the whole thing because i would actually want to die but holy [ __ ] this is a good cookie this is so good oh jesus christ [Music] i'm getting some intrusive thoughts ah [Music] frosted sugar cookies s i'm giving these an s i really think they're good i do i think they're good but i feel so guilty every time every [ __ ] time bro these things have to be like you gain a pound every single one you eat [Music] ah jesus man alrighty up next we have something that will be mainly for the youtube video because i don't have an oven here um but we're talking about the pillsbury ready bake sugar cookies that just come on the sheet and you pop them into the oven and then and they come out and they got the little designs on them like a little snowman or a little little you know like halloween decoration like a bat or a pumpkin man and you guys know exactly what i'm talking about right you can't get away from these cookies they're extremely seasonal and extremely good [Music] for me it's the fact that you can't get them at every time in the year like they don't just sell these on their own they're always they're always seasonal based there's always going to be a christmas one or a halloween one or like a thanksgiving one or like an easter one you're never going to have these on your own you're never going to have these on january 14th 2022 it's just not gonna happen and that's that's scarcity that scarcity is what i think makes these cookies so good five seconds left in the chat we are feeling we're feeling good on this we're feeling good on these huh listen i wouldn't suggest eating these raw okay please don't eat them raw put them in the oven and cook them i guarantee you they'll be better but either way either way on these cookies these pillsbury ready bake sugar cookies with the fun designs i'm feeling an s i'm feeling this these cookies are so [ __ ] good so good [Music] what's next on our listicle all right we got the pillsbury ones there's gonna be a whole segment in this video uh that you guys aren't seeing right now because it's live but the video will have me like baking them and uh and reacting to them and biting into them oh my god i'm just looking forward to it i'm just looking forward to it what do we got next the [ __ ] is this a fortune cookie the [ __ ] is a fortune cookie doing here from panda express that's strange how do you guys feel about uh about fortune cookies we like them i always like reading them a tone for your sins weird um let's talk about milanos how do we feel about milanos boys pepperidge fawn how we feeling [Music] milanos we like the milanos sideways look the milanos are all tilted [Music] because in reality they come facing vertically and then you can't you know on the tearless thing it would be really tiny and smushed so we had to put him sideways sorry [Music] i i got a tweet from someone i know before i went live um he's actually probably watching this right now and he's actually the ceo of the company i own tips out um and he said to me he will dilute all my equity if i say something bad about this cookie [Music] loading clothes milano you guys think it's s you guys think this is an s tier cookie bang okay boys look pepperidge farm makes some good cookies and i don't know if i don't know if i like milano a lot i don't know if i like milano as much as i do because it's like a nostalgia thing but my grandma always would have she'd always have a box these things lying around whenever i'd go over to her house a lot of the time i was sick and i'd skip school i'd have a sick day get the doctor's note i'd go to grammys and uh watch some tom and jerry i watched the early morning cartoon network cartoons and i have some milanos and uh it's just such a great memory for me that being said pepperidge farm does not they just don't understand how to package [ __ ] cookies they don't like why do they do it like this every single time i wind up ripping the package or like why do you stack them on top of each other be normal man have a regular tray of cookies and a little opener this is just so unnecessary you don't have to have the box like goldfish goldfish is different you just put the [ __ ] hand in it's just a pile of goldfish in there what is it with this this is the most this is the most inefficient way to stack cookies you're going to put you know put a bunch of cookies in here in a little wrapper and then have more underneath it what the [ __ ] is wrong with you milanos are [ __ ] good though all right no amount of bad packaging can convince me otherwise milanos are a good cookie so regular milanos wait milk chocolate there it is regular milanos i'm giving an a these are not my favorite cookie in the world but they are damn good and they bring back some good memories [Music] for all you guys tuned in right now i want to give a little shout out to something i uh [Music] something i love very much and that is called twitch prime so if you're watching this on your phone if you watch this on your desktop you don't really know how twitch works that's okay hit that purple subscribe button down below and if you have amazon prime or if your parents mommy and daddy have amazon prime you can hit the subscribe for free button using twitch prime it's free it's free and it helps me out and for all my communist folk out there if you really want to stick it to amazon stick it to jeff bezos this comes out of his pocket [Music] because they gotta pay me a couple bucks for everyone who does that [ __ ] [Music] thank you thank you thank you i do love my boss jeff bezos i love him i love him [Music] so just keep those rolling in you know just hit that purple subscribe button hit subscribe for free if you got amazon prime you can do it once a month so even if you're like even like oh i hate schlatt i don't even want to watch them come back here every month set a reminder come back hit the button again please i'm struggling i'm struggling [Music] up next we got dark chocolate dark chocolate milanos how we feeling on dark chocolate milanos i'm gonna try my best to not completely destroy the packaging here [Music] [ __ ] it fly get out of my face [Music] now boys in level with you i have never had one never in my entire life have i ever eaten a dark chocolate milano so this is live this is live j schlatt reaction time you guys seem to love him what the [ __ ] i know you guys like the the milk chocolate one but dark chocolate in a crowd full of zoomers [Music] i'm gonna give it a shot [Music] smells like a milano [Music] feels like a milano [Music] be hmm [Music] listen guys i hate to be the i hate to be the dude the [ __ ] in the cornflakes but [Music] maybe i just don't like dark chocolate [Music] i just don't i just don't like dark chocolate it makes me feel old it makes it i feel i feel [ __ ] decrepit when i eat dark chocolate foods i start hearing stage one of the [ __ ] caretakers start playing [Music] and so against my better judgment because you guys all seem to love this cookie [Music] i'm giving dark chocolate milanos [Music] i would not eat another one of these things if you paid me to sorry sorry cry about it send me a little letter send it off to my p.o box [Music] sorry my stream my stream alrighty up next there it is mint milano cookies how do we feel about mint milano cookies we ever had this mint chocolate i'll try my best to open it without blowing it [Music] [ __ ] sake [ __ ] me in the ass and call me a pretty little [ __ ] [Music] [Music] this is very split this is oh my god this is very split [Music] ah dude it smells like chewing gum i'm gonna try it [Music] no no i'm sorry no no five seconds left on the pole [Music] so f has one with 44 closely followed by s at 30 percent [Music] listen i can do mint chocolate chip ice cream i can do minty cold things but when it comes to cookies listen man i smelled it and it's it smelled like [ __ ] five gum okay i smell chewing gum when i s when i smell mint milanos it's just not for me it's just not for me [Music] that's why i think i'm gonna put mint milanos at e sorry it's it's about as good as the dark chocolate not good at all sweat you're really old you might you know what die i'm 22. how old are you guys i'm so surprised can i just say i am so surprised that you guys voted s on the on the dark chocolate milanos oh don't put your agent chat you'll get banned actually if you confess to being younger than tos don't that was just another test to weed out the minecrafters [Music] [Music] all right okay up next up next actually guys i want to do another quick shout out i do have a secondary twitch channel that i've been streaming to every now and then uh the past couple times i've been reacting to video game high school you guys don't know what that is it's an old web series my favorite thing on the internet pretty much um it's a web series on youtube that came out probably around a decade ago at this point um made by freddie w all the rocket jump people i don't know if you guys know that really og names uh in the youtube space and i've been streaming on twitch.tv schlatt so just remove the j remove the j and follow me over there because uh after this stream right after the stream stick around once the stream ends i'm gonna raid into the alt stream and we're just gonna have a chill laid back time talk about the stream watch some video game high school how we feeling now shall i become a reacting twitch streamer listen [Music] last time i streamed it i had freddy wong the creator of the show in vc with me talking about the show and soon enough before this before we finish season three uh we're gonna have one of the main actors in the show jimmy wong freddy's brother who plays ted uh he's gonna be chilling with us too so it'll be fun it is very laid-back there are no expectations when i go live on that channel it's just one of those things like if you like me if you want to have a good you know laid back time and that's what you tune in for but we'll be doing that directly after the stream i'm going to write in so stick around [Music] alrighty next up we got some more we got some more pepperidge farm actually [Music] ah chessmen how are we feeling about chessmen look at this i tried getting into these earlier i it's ruined every dude can we can we like send a a nasty letter signed by all everyone who's watching this can we just sign a nasty letter to pepperidge farm and say you gotta [ __ ] fix this [ __ ] because every time i rip it and it just makes the cookie stale they're just stale why are we jesus christ 43 f [Music] why do you guys hate shortbread and like buttery cookies what's the problem [Music] they're not that bad 15 seconds left you guys have all collectively decided that this is an f-tier cookie what the [ __ ] [Music] i'm not gonna lie with you i don't get that i don't get the f rating i think shortbread cookies are shortbread cookies like they're okay [Music] honestly like honestly like this has got to be the most least defensive cookie out there chessmen it's shortbread it's shortbread same thing with lorna dune i'd give these a middle of the road i have one they'll have a little design on christmassy design on this one i don't know why the [ __ ] you guys hate shortbread well like i said there's a middle-of-the-road cookie no one has a bad memory with chesman i don't know what the [ __ ] i don't know what the [ __ ] a bunch of chess men did it did to you guys jesus christ you think the cookie went into your house and killed your entire family i'm putting chessmen at a very respectable seat and i put lorna dune there too [Music] all right so pepperidge farm bunch of hits bunch of misses milano very good the milano flavors not feeling too much chessmen middle of the road seat here but then there's farmhouse [Music] stargaz thanks for the 10 gifted subs man appreciate that farmhouse cookies farmhouse cookies farmhouse cookies farmhouse cookies farmhouse cookies i already ripped up the packaging just get me just let me add them let me add them [Music] oh cam squad thanks for the 10 as well man appreciate that a whole lot 15 seconds left boys how we feeling about farmhouse cooking [Music] oh my god holy [ __ ] star guest 25 gifties yo ludwig i see you bro ludwig resubscribe for one month at tier one they've been subscribed for 27 months cutie is a good cook he goes [Music] okay buddy [Music] have her send me something for the next tier list how about that we'll judge it live oh my god [ __ ] me man [ __ ] me [Music] ugh i i just love crispy cookies okay [ __ ] chewing on a piece of rubber [ __ ] chewing on a piece of rubber these [ __ ] cookies suck ass and dick and [ __ ] and nuts okay this is what a cookie is all about god it like melts in your mouth farmhouse is so [ __ ] good [Music] come on now chat overwhelmingly voted s and i'd have to agree with you this is damn near the perfect cookie okay it is so close it's so close to being the most perfect cookie ever made but i have to give farmhouse in a because there's a better cookie out there [Music] introducing to the stand local new york cookie brand tate's [ __ ] bake shop [Music] now if you guys have not had tates before please do not vote [Music] set three quarters you need to [ __ ] buy these immediately [Music] i don't know what kind of crack they're putting into this cookie but this is the most delicious thing i have ever [ __ ] tasted tate's bake shop is my favorite cookie ever ever this is the best tasting thing i've ever put in my mouth and i've put a lot of stuff in my mouth [Music] i'm not gonna finish that five seconds left get the rankings in listen i don't know how many of you guys have had these okay in the chat let me know if you've ever even heard of tates please this is a look this is probably this is probably just my new york pride kicking in all right but this is such a [ __ ] good cookie [Music] you guys have to try these i've been gloating about this cookie i forgot to even eat one [Music] see it's the same exact thing as farmhouse the cookies look exactly the same they feel exactly the same in the mouth they both melt in the mouth but this is just the better one okay this is just a better cookie [Music] show me this take guy and i will pleasure him orally i don't even care amos i'll pass on amos but tate i don't even know what you look like man i'm in kate's bake shop chocolate chip cookies s that is the best cookie i have ever had [Music] i would taste tate's taint oh jesus okay [Music] so [Music] i would taste taste taste ten but you show me these two [ __ ] lenny and larry you show me these guys i will do no such thing [Music] lenny and larry's the perfect cookie i'm sorry the complete cookie the complete cookie oh my god get the votes in boys how we feeling on lenny and larry the complete cookie i don't even want to look at it don't think i'm going to 10 seconds left boys should i even open it does this even look does this even look like something you want to eat this looks like the surface of [ __ ] mars bro this is it's disgusting it's garbage lenny and larry's lenny and larry's complete cookie is a clif bar for people who want to be honest with themselves okay you can eat healthy so you're buying a [ __ ] cookie that says it's healthy on it to make yourself feel better about being a fat piece of [ __ ] okay we get another one [Music] [ __ ] [ __ ] [Music] that's that [ __ ] laser [Music] you guys said no i was a pitcher pitcher in high school baseball they brought me in one time to to pick somebody off did you guys know that i'm not even joking you i was on uh i was on the high school baseball team and i was a lefty right so you pitch and then first base you're looking at the whole time right someone's on first base what you can do you lift your leg and just go straight that way and you throw it to first you know you can do a whole fake out thing where you know [Music] bottom of the seventh inning okay bottom of the seventh inning two outs this is a huge [ __ ] tangent but it is completely true bottom of the seventh inning two outs we're almost gonna win all right we need one more route to win close game two our pitchers our pitcher's running out of steam he's been going the whole game he walks a guy this is not good that is the tying run we be going into extras two outs they pull him out and they say schlatt it's [ __ ] go time i walk up [Music] i need a better song [Music] i walk up to the pitchers man pretend like i'm gonna throw a pitch i do my warm-ups they're like all right this guy sucks he's not even throwing the ball hard [Music] first time i get ready looking at the first base guy looking at the runner the whole time i go up i fake a really shitty pick off move it's really shitty that their team starts laughing they're like what are you what was you were you trying to do there oh good he's safe catch the ball all right now i'm ready to [ __ ] pitch i don't even [ __ ] look at him leg kicks up he didn't even see it [ __ ] coming he didn't even see that [ __ ] coming and he's out he gets caught with his pants down true story completely true story they put the tag on him the kid is the kid is like tears in his eyes tears welling up as he walks back to the dugout because he just got picked off to lose the game for his [ __ ] team and i get a save i get a save i saved the game and i didn't even throw a single pitch you guys are saying i'm lying but listen you don't even know how good i was back in the day that was actually the only time they ever put me in the game all righty listen if you voted anything else but f on lenny and larry's complete cookie you should feel bad okay i feel bad for you i feel bad this is so this is the worst cookie ever ever and don't even like it's embarrassing are you eating a complete you're so sad that you can't even eat healthy you have to you have to eat cookies let's say they're healthy on it and pretend like you're doing something [Music] it's funny because i actually had a computer scientist uh he knows what you guys voted for this time and we got a whole big list and you know you're gonna be banned after this stream [Music] sorry all right let's go back into keebler keebler made the uh the chips deluxe cookies but there's more they do more stuff that i haven't covered yet oh oh wait you guys don't want to be banned you better start groveling [Music] you better start groveling [Music] because you [ __ ] idiots voting anything other than f i'm [ __ ] lenny and larry's jesus christ like i knew you guys were dumb but holy [ __ ] [Music] all righty let's go uh let's take some keebler ass l fudge el fudge elf uh whatever you want to call them these ones are are pretty muy bueno forget the double forget the double it's the wrong cookie all right we're talking about the regular elf fudge how we feeling on it [Music] y'all like them listen i i just gotta ask is this like spanish is this a spanish cookie is it l fudge e l fudge is it elf because he's an elf [Music] i don't know oh my god either way either way i think these are pretty cool they're shaped like them you know they got they they're [ __ ] shaped like the elf they're [ __ ] shaped like them ernie ernie his name's ernie he is such a polite little fellow and and there's always like a little little like quote on him oh and close on b okay can can you plea and there's always like a little quote on a little cute little quote from the hollow tree uh some elf [ __ ] or something i don't know look [Music] i think even in the regular form my only problem is that i think there's a little too much filling okay even in the regular one i think the i think the chocolate often overpowers the the good tasting gram here that being said this is a very enjoyable cookie if it comes straight out of the fridge and you dip it in some milk so on el fudge i am feeling a very respectable bee [Music] do you guys put your cookies in the fridge am i weird for that am i weird for wanting to have a cold cookie i don't think i'm weird for that what are you gonna have him in sitting in a warm pantry that's weird that's weird [Music] can we actually pull real quick matt can you uh just pull up a cookie to vote on s if you put your cookies in the fridge f if you put them in the pantry and we'll just redo the vote on the cookie when you know i'll just select fudge stripes because that's the next one we're gonna rate and we'll just redo the poll so can we start the timer on this one [Music] guys s [Music] s if you put them in the fridge f if you keep them in the pantry the warm cookies ah i just realized we could have done a poll well do both do both i don't care bridge cookie no okay well you guys are weird for that seems like a quarter of us put it in the fridge [Music] alrighty fair enough we're pausing it reset entries okay [Music] okay so let's go again bud stripes keebler fudge stripes man man dude [Music] when i was a kid i i used to be skinny enough where i could put my finger through it these days not so much oh my god wow you guys like these ones that's respectable i respect that i respect it these guys are just a smidge too crunchy for me they're a little yeah they're a little crumbly it's shortbread it's shortbread shortbread and and the fudge listen you guys are feeling a very good s on this 58 that's good 24 on a wow very few of you people hate this and that's good look i think this is basically like the same as el fudge but it's arranged in a in just just the superior way right same ingredients just a better cookie and for that reason i'm giving fudge stripes gotta redo the line i i stumbled over my words a little bit and for that reason i'm giving fudge stripes an a hey hey listen they don't come close with tates that's the thing they don't come close to the to the frosted sugar cookies they don't come close to chippy deluxe they don't come close to the pillsbury all right they're good though i like them hey [Music] all right respectable opinion okay i'm glad you guys respect that one sandy's sandys sandy's sandy's [Music] short oh you guys already hated the other shortbread cookies so i know how this is gonna go i know exactly how this is gonna [ __ ] go camp scored has gifted 51 subs in the twitch yet this guy named ryan p has gifted a hundred is that the rhine p i know in that case thanks ryan either way thanks ryan god you guys don't like this one bit you guys do not like sandy's [Music] [Music] look you guys have voted 56 f [Music] i don't care about sandy's okay i am so overwhelmingly straight that the thought of that little [ __ ] elf piece of [ __ ] putting his nuts in my cookie it it makes me want to want to gag okay but the shortbread the shortbread is good so i'm not going to give it a straight f sandy's d d for dick [Music] get it because there's nuts in the cook [Music] all right let's see it vienna fingers be in a fingers boys vienna fingers cream filled sandwich cookies [Music] how we feeling on that [Music] ah there's another cookie i have good memories with now my grandma would always have look at that that's beautiful it's beautiful the way these are packaged is just a1 oh my god [Music] these are good [Music] all right well the voting has closed on vienna fingers and you guys are looking at 30 b with c next then a then s then f and d then e i think that's fair look i think that's a fair rating um [Music] i'll say it i'll say it [Music] this is going to take a lot of courage to say vienna fingers are just a better golden oreo they are they are they're a better golden oreo you want a good golden cookie with cream inside go with vienna fingers this is a good cookie it's b it's b don't even worry about the fact that the elf came inside the cookie you don't even worry about that that's nothing to worry about sorry if i just ruined vienna fingers for you all but that elf gets up to something he's not on the cover of all those [ __ ] cookies for nothing all right okay that comment on golden oreos might have been a little inflammatory but it was a segue all right you know why [Music] this brings me to the moment you've all been waiting for [Music] oreo how we feeling on oreos boys [Music] it's beautiful it's a work of art oh my goodness look at this look at oreos [Music] now i need more milk dude i'm [ __ ] i've been sipping on my milk on my milky milky top me off waiter thank you [Music] here we go chat you guys love this cookie and look i know i tend to be a little you know i tend to go against the grain right you guys know me i go against the grain i know i shared i know i've shared a lot of [ __ ] up opinions on this show already correct ones i mean they're all correct i'm i'm right but they're a little [ __ ] up all right [Music] what but you are out of your mind if you don't think this is milk's favorite [ __ ] cookie because it is it is this is the best cookie you can dip into milk it just is and it tastes so [ __ ] good oh my god you guys were nervous for a second weren't you [Music] but there's something we did with these cookies as a kid there's a way to make them better right what did we do we got our fingernail underneath we pulled them apart you could do a little lick ski but then you grabbed another one and you did the same thing and what'd you do you put them together [Music] the perfect cookie oreo regular hey because double stuff oreo is the perfect version of oreos it is it is i'm sorry let's get the votes going let's get the votes going on double stuff double stuff baby [Music] [Music] now look at this look at this reveal oh the middle's all [ __ ] what someone's been eating them [Laughter] it's probably me [Music] oh man i'm telling you look the double stuff oreo is perfection it is perfection this is this is far and away one of the easiest s's you can give to a cookie it's just this it just says regular oreos are good but double stuff is the goat this is the best form of oreo voting clothes s 58 percent far and away i agree with you boys oreo double stuff s tier cookie delicious this is oreo at its finest and then it starts going downhill then it starts going downhill because what's next stop oreo mega stuff well i mean okay mega stuff maybe we could get a reveal going ready now look you see that you do you like see this this one right here and that one right there [Music] this is just it's just too much do you see it [Music] do we see this do we see where they added two specific layers of it like they don't even have the machinery to make them because it's not necessary this is too much okay daddy nabisco gave most stuff daddy nabisco gave oreos a pair of wings and i think they flew a little too close to the sun on this because it's just too much don't get me wrong they're still okay they're still decent i can still eat these [ __ ] things but they're not as good as the other toe i think i agree with you chat i think you guys are smart on this one i give oreo mega stuff a c okay middle of the road listen you're losing points at this point you're losing points the more stuff you put in guys jesus oh jesus christ oh jesus christ jesus christ most stuff oreo do i'm gonna open them okay i'm gonna open this package [Music] and i think that'll be enough content this is opening a package of most stuff oreos is the funniest thing you can do all day [Music] it's stuck [Music] this is it this is most stuff hello this is most stuff this is what happens when you take a bad idea and run so far with it this is what you wind up with this is not you saw me open that one i didn't plan that out i didn't plan that out i didn't mush it all together i was very careful with the packaging this is how every single one comes every single one let's try another one i get a bunch i got a bunch of them place your bets boys well yep there it is again i got another one [Music] oh that one's actually pretty decent okay all right all right i'll give oreo credit where credit's due this one came out pretty decent but i just want you to look at it all right [Music] do you think this was supposed to happen [Music] is that is this what every most stuffed oreo cookie looks like this isn't even icarus anymore i know i referenced icarus the story of icarus with the with the with the the mega stuff oreos this is this is icarus this is the eternals [ __ ] who who who got so butthurt over losing a girl that he flew himself into the sun directly i don't even care that i spoiled the movie it's that bad it's that [ __ ] bad you want to watch eternals i'll save you the entire i'll save you 15 bucks right now the dude who's a evil superman or whatever flies himself into the sun at the end jesus christ i just saved you like three hours too i saved you three hours what a terrible movie and it's just like this does not this this should not exist i'm sorry [Music] it's too [ __ ] much [Music] sucks that [ __ ] sucks oreo most stuff easy easiest f i've given all night easiest f [Music] christ almighty what is going on in their heads [Music] jesus [ __ ] christ so bad bro ugh [Music] so gross all right oreo's got some more flavors specifically fins they have thins oreo thins is a thing because uh [Music] i guess they were thinking the same thing lenny and larry were thinking when they made a healthy [ __ ] cookie [Music] i have never seen a thin person eating oreo thins [Music] it's true it's true [Music] if you eat oreo thins you're just trying to make yourself feel better about eating unhealthy food because they put less calm in the middle look a word of advice a word of advice for everyone out there who eats oreo thins okay if you're upset about the way you look stop eating cookies altogether please do me a solid jesus [ __ ] christ that being said the cookie is an oreo which means it's it's decent at best like it's not a it's not overly offensive so i'm gonna give oreo things a day [Music] sorry i want to apologize for anybody any big fan of of oreo thins out there that i just insulted i got a suggestion maybe stop buying oreo thins to solve your problems me download p90x or some [ __ ] just opinion all righty let's talk about mint oreos mint mint oreos oreo's got weird flavors now we're going into the weirder side oreos the big reveal bro [Music] this is vile this is vile it smells like it smells like gum too it smells like trident all right [Music] you guys are split you guys are split on the oreo mints it's just like eating mint chocolate chip ice cream can the mods fan find who said that in chat and ban them promptly it's toothpaste oreos exactly that's what it is that's what this is voting closed 45 you say f 22 say s that's a bit of a split it's a bit of a split [Music] look oreo's got some good flavors and they've got some bad flavors and mint is just one of the bad ones i just don't like mint i don't like mint cookies i don't think it belongs there i don't think it belongs there i feel like i'm either brushing my teeth or trying to like chew some gum i'm sorry they do they do oreo thins mint too right they do it too we don't even need a vote on this it's the same cookie i'm giving it e i'm giving both of them e all right oreo thins oreo regular mint flavor not good stop eating them let's do birthday cake birthday cake this is another office favorite they've been dug into quite a bit and i imagine this will be another decisive one how are we feeling an oreo birthday cake [Music] i'm not going to share my opinion just yet [Music] too sweet that's the thing look two seconds left wow f look at this all right so the chat results uh based on the chat results it seems like you guys either enjoy them or really [ __ ] hate them and i gotta be honest this is just a shitty version of the frosted sugar cookies it is it is it is it is if you want to be a glutton eat these man eat these don't go with this this is a shittier version it's shitty it's not good if you eat these cookies if you eat these cookies i do not trust you okay got a [ __ ] kroger go go to king cullen all right and buy the actual frosted sugar cookies don't don't do this man dude don't do that birthday cake oreos not good not good sorry cry about it [Music] all right next up [Music] i actually wasn't able to find a big box of these so we'll do this golden oreos how do we feel about golden oreos boys we like them we hate them what would you rate them you're the best you're the best what should i review next who was that why is that what [ __ ] memory did i just dredge up [Music] where the [ __ ] did who said that [ __ ] the needle drop ah core memory unlocked i just got fantano going in the background golden oreos let's talk golden oreos [Music] hmm slot you need to review and rank fruit no if that ever happens you know i am just desperate for content don't even know what most fruit tastes like if you see me i'm getting up there all righty voting closed you guys think c c up to s actually wow okay you guys like these more than i thought you would all right my opinion on golden oreos is quite concise i think golden oreos are just a worse vienna fingers all right golden orders are just a worse golden oreos are just the worst vienna fingers all right i put these on c decent decent but regular oreo is so much better sorry i had to redo that one for the youtube i don't even know if i could review ice cream because there's so many different brands like there's there's like a hundred different brands and a hundred different flavors and the flavor how good that is depends on the brand it would just be it'd be a ten hour long stream man and i don't have the freezer space either there's not even a freezer in this office alrighty java chip oreos [Music] hold on the overlay was blocking it i'm sorry guys pretend like you're seeing this for the first time oh oh dude someone in chat said it the best if you like these that is a major major red flag okay i don't even know these were a flavor and i'm upset that i found out they were okay why anyone on earth would want to eat a coffee flavored cookie yeah don't you got bisch golf for that don't you have biscoff for that you want to eat cookies with coffee nobody does it nobody does it no one's ever said i want a coffee flavored cookie [ __ ] gross man [ __ ] you [ __ ] you if you like this voting is closed the overwhelming majority has voted f f that's fine i respect you all for that [Music] unfortunately uh i'm gonna have to hunt down and post the ip and mac addresses of everyone who voted s on uh java chip oreos because this cookie this cookie's an f [Music] where's lemon oreos oreos did i just turn blue for a second did you see me turn blue or was that just my obs blue [Music] i don't know what just happened [Music] either way the votes are rolling in on the lemon [Music] 15 seconds left boys how do we feel about lemon oreos now let me be real i have never had one in my life [Music] what the [ __ ] how is the filling more yellow than the cookie that's just gross [Music] s [Music] where are the 20 of you who voted s on lemon i've never had it but i guarantee you it's not good [Music] jesus christ all right well here we go [Music] [ __ ] me no no no no no oh god you [ __ ] amputated [Music] i don't even i don't even think i i'm sorry i gotta go back for seconds on this [ __ ] bus oh so bad dude who the [ __ ] where the 20 of you that voted s on this [ __ ] you sled i like those banned god terrible lemon oreo f almost as easy as a moe stuff oreo f god i think the moral of the story there is that oreo flavors are just not good i mean you can't beat the oh did i really have a voice crack like that i gotta say the entire sentence again i think the moral of this i think the moral of the story here is that oreo flavors are just not good like you can't beat the original oreo you just can't don't add lemon to it don't make it golden fianna fingers has got that covered but also oreo doesn't need to do any other flavors okay because that base oreo cookie is one of the best flavors out there okay they know what they're doing right okay just cut just shave off all the just shave off all the fat oreo like get rid of drop all the [ __ ] flavors okay okay next up we're almost done fig newtons [Music] [Music] 30 seconds left on the figs boys what do you mean it is a fight [Music] fig newtons [Music] i know girl scout cookies because that's a whole nother stream baby there will be another another stream another video for girl scout cookies we will rank them all right make no mistake make no mistake voting has closed wow i'm not gonna lie um i don't feel qualified to talk about fig newtons [Music] oh for [ __ ] sake they show them like that never never in my [Music] never in my 22 years on this planet have i ever tasted a fig [ __ ] newton okay i've never done it i don't even know what the [ __ ] a fig is what is a fig what is it is that a fruit i've never even seen one what like first of all we're bringing imaginary fruits into cookies again call back to lenny and larry's we're trying to get you to eat healthy we all know this is [ __ ] for you [Music] and second of all newton's newtons we're bringing physics into it now listen i got a five on the ap physics c mechanics exam five that's a perfect [ __ ] score and you don't see me eating big [ __ ] newtons do it and it's not gonna start now and it's not gonna start now i'm not even gonna have one i'm not even gonna [ __ ] have one big [ __ ] newton suck my dick what is it what is a fake newton i'm not gonna try it no no i'm keeping the streak going all right how many of you 18 s on figs sorry big newton taking the express a train to the f station [Music] [Music] oh don't don't rate it if you haven't tried it [ __ ] you it's my stream go tune in to miss kiff i hear he's playing league that's great content [Music] ah okay next one nutter butter [Music] nutter butter [Music] nutter butter holy [ __ ] look at these ratings [Music] honestly that is [ __ ] surprising i am extremely surprised at this [Music] oh they don't have one of those peel things i just have to open them at the top five seconds boys get the votes in get the votes in the big reveal nutter butters not bad not bad peanut buttery they're shaped like peanuts it's cute here's the thing you guys felt s on this nutter butters just weird me out they do they do like you're telling me that no company none no other company in the world can make a peanut butter flavored cookie that tastes better than this [ __ ] these things are [ __ ] weird man like are you supposed to put them in the fridge are you supposed to dip them in milk what are they what is it why is it shaped like a peanut every single homemade peanut butter cookie i've ever had in my life has tasted better than a than a [ __ ] nutter butter it just has it is so easy to do peanut butter cookies right and yet no company does it also [ __ ] you for calling it nutter butter you're weird i'm sorry s 35 every single homemade cookie every single homemade peanut butter cookie tastes better than a nutter butter every single one every single one man why is it in slow mode can we take chat off slow mode guys what the heck i'm sorry i'm sorry these aren't good [Music] i'm giving nutter butters a a date appropriately for being named nutter butter hey take a date make a ding not a butter i know you had before all right [Music] nilla wafers yes dude yes nilla wafers dude how do we feel about these [ __ ] things where is the pole where's the pole there it is okay we're good get your boats in on nillas oh dude oh dude man [Music] jesus christ look at this look at this you don't know what's [ __ ] up look at these bugs coming in 60 of you say yes you wanna know what's [ __ ] up though this is shortbread this is a shortbread cookie why give every other shortbread an f why have you voted f on every other shortbreak cookie what about this excites you you guys are so weird so weird man all right we bet dude we were on a very rough streak of bad reviews uh luckily nilla wafer is here to save the day because [Music] because i [ __ ] love them okay oh my god man man again dude this is probably one of them where it's a very nostalgic thing for me but as a kid me and my mom would put all the as a kid me and my mom would pour all these into a into a ziploc bag we'd pour all of them into a ziplock bag crush them up with like a mallet and then we'd crush up a bunch of like chocolate chip cookies we'd mix in some some vanilla pudding too whipped cream it was called a sand cake i don't know if you guys have ever done that have you guys ever made like you guys ever put these oh my god dude if you guys have never had it right it's called a sand cake i'm pretty sure right take a bunch of nilla wafers take a bunch of chocolate chip cookies chips deluxe is probably your best bet vanilla pudding mix in a tray sprinkle some of the some of the dust over it put a layer of whipped cream just layer it layer you got to get the ratio right but oh my god that is the best [ __ ] dessert you'll ever have that's the best [Music] i'd kill for some of that right now the problem is i just don't like him as much as some of the other ones on the s tier nello wafers i like you but it's not it's not like that man it's not like that i'm giving you an a you do a good job [Music] but you don't you know it's not it's not perfect i'm sorry hey i i look i feel like that's fair is that i feel like it's fair to give him an a a's a good score he's a good scorer there's a good score where are the girl scout cookies i already said bro this is another video i'm gonna get all the girl scout cookies i promise it's going to happen next up on the list uh i don't actually have them i don't actually have them but i'm sure you guys know there's no real brand that uh there's no real brand that makes these better than any other brand black and white cookies they all kind of taste the same right how do we feel about black and white cookies i wish i had some i tried going to the [ __ ] grocery store in the in the uh and the um [Music] a bakery they don't have them like they're hard to come by in texas maybe it's a regional thing like do you guys not know what a you guys don't know what a black and white cookie is [Music] you guys serious is this some new york [ __ ] oh my god i had no idea i guess we learned something new every day yeah they dip one side in like vanilla something and then the other side in chocolate this must be very regional this must be very regional not a lot of you are voting oh man but i gotta say i gotta say these are high these are that's why they're hard to find in texas i guess do you call them half moon cookies do you call them rainbow cookies what what what the [ __ ] you calling them these days look every black and white cookie tastes the same whether you're getting where you whether you get them from ent men's or the local bakery they all taste the same they're all made the same way it's all it's the same ratio of of of black to white right and look this is another nostalgic thing for me because as a kid my parents i was big into trains okay love trains that's why i still [ __ ] play open ttd a game that's older than everybody watching right now uh but i would go on my little radio flyer i still remember this the [ __ ] radio flyer wagon i'd be pulled on the radio flyer all the way to the train station there was a deli right by the train station we go in there get black and white cookies and watch the trains drive by for hours honestly very good memories of the uh of these cookies so [Music] what a chat boat s okay listen i'm not feeling too too hyped about them but i think it's very fair to give these cookies a b you gotta get them locally dude it's like the uh it's like the peanut butter cookies right not a butter [ __ ] if you get entenmann's black and white cookies i mean it's not going to be as good as a homemade you know thing from a little bakery you know i mean would you rather would you rather a [ __ ] corporation make you these cookies or would you rather giuseppe make you the cookie i'm picking giuseppe any day of the [ __ ] week how about you guys [Music] you guys want your sepi making the cookie all righty next one guys we're almost done we are almost done [Music] ah how we feeling about this list am i am i doing all right am i doing all right thus far we got it we got two more [Music] okay it's time to talk about stelladoro you guys know what stelladoro is you guys know what i'm talking about stelladoro the margarite combination oh my god let me tell you this is another this is another extremely regional food this company new york based just like tate's oh my god and again it might just be my new york pride it might just be my new york pride get your votes in get your votes in it looks east coast do what it is this is made straight this is made in the heart of brooklyn and you can't tell me you can't tell me anything else like it just is right these cookies are made in just the basement of some building in brooklyn right that's where they are that's where you go to get them ah the kid from brooklyn hey the big man's back dude i bet the big man loves stelladoros oh my god all right boats are closed you guys say b listen i like these cookies because my dad likes these cookies all right these were always in the fridge they were always at my disposal i could always pick one out enjoy one and you get to pick you get the pick you get the choice what do you want a vanilla one or you want a chocolate one it's good it's perfect honestly [Music] look i really like these things [Music] i really like these things okay but i have to give them but i have to give them an a because stelladoro does one better and those of you who know stelladoro know exactly what's coming [Music] swiss fudge you'll notice half the half the package is gone [Music] anyone anyone who's familiar with stelladoro knows exactly how good these [ __ ] cookies are anybody dude i ate more than half of them only a third is left [Music] man i just it makes me happy even looking at them look at them look at these are cookies these are cookies [Music] holy [ __ ] look at the rating on these sides holy [ __ ] boys i hope you're writing it not because i just told you to rate it in s i didn't say anything about them i hope you actually genuinely enjoy these cookies dude this is where it's at this is swiss fudge is one of the most unique looking and unique tasting cookies out there it is just so nice biting in you have a little like crumbly shortbread on the outside and a very like almost chewy like a like a soft chocolate filling on the inside it's honestly it is so different from any other cookie and it is so [ __ ] good and for anyone who has not had this cookie look at the [ __ ] rating bro look at the [ __ ] rating you got to try one just buy one man i'd eat the whole thing but i am [ __ ] full [Music] all righty so i'm very pleased to announce that stelladoro swiss fudge gets an emphatic ass ass baby this is one of the best [ __ ] cookies out there honestly tate still takes the cake i still i still i'd still what was it what was the what was the alliterator [ __ ] we had i'd still uh something tate's taint tickle taint state take tim five percent tint oh man so that is it that is it that's everything um here is the full list from top to bottom s to f these are my opinions you guys have been wrong uh and yeah if you have any death threats any any suggestions anything you think i got wrong leave them in the comments and uh i will not watch oh and i will not look at them i will not i will not look at them say hi to youtube everybody this is the outro again though stick around i'm telling you at the end of this stream the end of the stream i'm going straight to my alt to my alt account and we're gonna watch some uh we're gonna do some low low effort twitch stream average twitch streamer content we're gonna react to some stuff just sit down chill have a good time oh god dude oh my god i'm so full i'm so full ah not this is not goodbye yet so again that's the full list this is what i'm feeling honestly best cookie on the planet tate's the regular chocolate chip up next is that stelladoro swiss fudge oh my god moral of the story is that i like cookies i'm a fat [ __ ] [Music] um it's another fortune um guys i gotta go [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] well it was supposed to be cool

Channel: jschlattVODS

Views: 1,132,959

Keywords: Jschlatt, Schlatt, jschlatt stream, Schlatt stream, jschlattvod, schlattvod, jschlattvods, schlattvods, Schlatt Vods, livestream, highlights, jschlattlive, jschlatt live, Schlatt full stream, full stream, just chatting

Id: DCFjDNVUy2I

Length: 139min 46sec (8386 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 16 2022