Oh God no... Oh No!! (Mark casually eats a strawberry Pop-Tart as Mr. Rump gets Widowmakered) Ahh! Someone should have done something!! (You're the motherfucking bodyguard!) (Markimoo mating call.) Mister President! (EPIC LEAP TIME!) Nooo!! (Completely Fucking Misses) (Rump dies as Mark falls into the fetus position) Fuck. (Mark was fired an hour after the event and lived life to the fullest in a cardboard box in the subway station, his only friends being the rats and the crippled little boy who was the only one who pitied Mark.) (Scatting, I guess, IDFK) ♪ I almost did my job! ♫ (Again with the weird-ass scatting.) Mr Presid-- Ah Fuck... MISTER PRESIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeee- Oh... Mis-- Oh Shit... Ahhhhh, I Fucked it (Like I did your Mom) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! BULLET LITERALLY GOES RIGHT FUCKING PAST HIM!!! Oh... *Giggle* Oh... Whoops! (WHOOPS?!?!?!?!?) (Best slow-motion seen ever; Matrix style; 10/10 IGN; pls kill me) I saved your God damn life! ( After 254,218,694,007 attempts you did. Yeah!! ( Please do not act proud.) *Rushed* HelloEverybody MyNameIsMarkiplierAndWelcomeToMisterPresident Ahhh!! Fuck Duuhuhuhuhuuude!! I was a... I was extremely ineffective there Mr.RUMP So In this game, you're a bodyguard to um.. Mr.Rump here... Oh, Shit... I'm coming Mr.President!! Ah God.. Oh No!! He's DEAD :( Oh, he's dead... I just gotta get his hair! Ohh God!! Ha! Oh Ff- Ow! Jesus! Hey... Hell... Heellll Yeeeah. Oh God *Grunting noises* (Zombie Mark) I'm coming for ya. I'm coming Mr.President! *Gunshot in background* I'll Save ye! Ha Bahhhhhhhh! You're Saved. I saved you. You're- I'm the best Catch the bullet! Ahhhh! Oh, Fuck! I didn't get a chance to do nothing. Hwaahhh! Fuck dude! *Squealing Mark, Being Mark.* Ahh ahh AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Screaming* *Even More Screaming* Got it. Yeah! You're welcome Rump! You're welcome, Ugh Come here Mr.President! ;)) Where's My Presidential Rewar- Okay.. Good bye now I guess We're done here. FUUUCK OFFF! Break the wall HAAAA! *Mark Fails To Sentence.* Oh my God. Uhhh. I don't think that was how it was supposed to go. HAAAAAA BOOOOOOSKY. *Laughing* I got you! ...I got you! You're welcome- You're welcome, sir! You're welcome...Sir. Whoaa. What is...Going on? *Zoom* *Laughter* What the hell is happening with his legs? Oh that was good. Ohh this is where it all started, Is it?...And what's the next one? "Self-Funded Presidential Run Hits a Detour?" Do I have anything else in my-..Uh.. ooh... Oh...Hello! Oh! Oooh. What did I do? I don't know, I think I hit a mini-game. "Rump used to be a character in professional wrestling." "Now he wants to relive his glory days and needs your help to feel alive again." "To progress, you need to drop an elbow-...Headbutt, Or Headbutt on Rump." Huuuuuuuuuuuuuu... Ahh Shit Whoa You're-...Ah... Oooh. Oh God. Oh God. *Small Laughter* I dont know what's worse: The face, The abs, or the thong... *Mark Noises* OOOOOHOHOHOHO! *Laughing* *Mark Noises*....Whoops! *Even More Mark Noises* ...Bonk! OHOHOHO! You're going to get it, Mr. Rump! Oooh! ~Bong!~ *Laughing* *Facepalm* I think I smashed the table in half with my dick. That is-...That's not right. Eh...--Euh...That shouldn't be...That shouldn't exist. That's like a-...A character made in Dark Souls that should have never made it past the first stage. Never should have been brought back to life-that one. Hupaayy! OOOOOHOHO!! I call that the 'Meat Grinder', bitch! MR.RUUUUUMMP *Laughter* I'm just going for the cash bucket, don't mind me. *Mark Noises* Where am I know?-...Oh, fuck dude. Ah! Come on! Get up! Ahhh! My president needs me! Oh God! Ahhh! *In distress.* Oooh. *Laughs*Oh, Ah-...Um. I-I'm coming back! Ah! *Giggling* Fucking shit dude I tried! Oh! Oh geez, oh uh- uh uh uh oh uh Doesn't faze me, I'm amazing! But uh-..Ooh. Aaaah get out of here. Oh shit! Ow! He might be okay! Oooh! Unharmed, Baby! ..R-Rump. Rump. Rump. Please. Ru-Ruump. *Laughter* Rump. Ru-Rump? Rump where you- Rumpey oh AAH! Right for his dick OH GOD! Uh oh. I don't think I saved him. *scream* Oh...That was very close to his luscious hair! Alright! Everybody stop! Everybody stop! Everybody done! HEY! HEY! TIME OUT HERE! ...I just found out..! ...Through the Horn... ..On the horn...? In--In my horn...I found out in my horn, that this guys name... ...Is Dick... ...'Rock Hard' Johnson. (Very mature, Mark) OKAY! EVERYBODY GET BACK TO IT! GET BACK TO IT! THE SHOW'S NOT OVER! OOOOOOOH YEAAAAAA! Ooooh yea! (2x) Whooo Yea! God dammit I have to do it again. Oh! Oh! *Laughter* Haha...Oh. I liked that way better than the actual game. This is so good! Oh shit dude. Ooh shi--Oh fuck, oh shit dude. Dick 'Rock Hard' Johnson's coming in for the kill! *Inquisitive Face* More like the...Sweet, tender embrace... *Imitates Hugs and Kisses* Habooshkiii! Bitch. Oh! You can't! *Laughter* I call this...The 'Pelvic Floor Slam'... BOOSKY! HOLY shit I didnt know you would look even worse from the back side...Mr. Rump. Ooh shit. Oh shit dude. O-OH OH OH SHIT DUDE---OOOH (3x) What's that I smell? *Sniffs* It's that something on the horizon...*Sniffs Some More.* It's an elusive *Even More Sniffing* RUUUUMP! beh of fff ohhh shit *Sniffs* Hang on, I'm picking up something again... *Sniffs Again* ...Ah... *Sniff* I think my sniffer's broken. Haaa be da boosky! well.. YEAAAAH! It counts! Therf! Berf! *Stuttering* That's...That's not how it..That not how...That's not how that works. Ah! Here-Here-How in the...How do you expect me to believe that's how that's gonna work? *Mark Noises* Doesn't seem to--OOoO SNAP into a Slim Jim YEAH! Oooh dick's comin for you baby (3x) Haa----...Booshky!---...Ooooh! Aww... fuck dude Ooh this time- oh last time was just a warm up for Dick, baby! Oh Dick 'rock hard' Johnson coming for- YOOOOOUU! *Laughter* Lil' Ms. Muffet....Sat on a TUFFE--oh fuck. Oooh Yea! HOO YEA! *More Laughter* Oh boy- That was-...That was actually like- That was actually like really cool! I like the wrestling way more than I actually like the Bodyguard game of it.. Um..And that was like, legitimately a lot of fun! And I hope you guys enjoyed the video too! It should go without saying, this is a silly little game. Don't take anything seriously..But either way! I hope you liked it! I had a lot of fun! It costs $5 on Steam, I don't know if that's worth it, but, if it is, I'll put a link in the description. Thank you every body so much for watching! And as always! I will see you, In the next video~! Buh Bye!
