Russell Brand - Two Crazy, CRAZY Comedians - 3/3 Visits In Chronological Order

yes tonight hosted the MTV Video Music Awards this past weekend II started in the Forgetting Sarah Marshall film he's a lovely gorgeous presence of of comedy and light that America is surely going to embrace please welcome Russell Brand everybody [Applause] [Music] welcome module hello good very nice look very tall you're much taller than I expected thank you very much I was much taller than I'd planned to be really yeah I thought I'd stop going around five foot but then you know it has carried on again or have you ever been to Rhode Island I've never had the tides a tiny little steep you're too tall no you should have gone when you were younger class the challenge and I blew it yeah you should have got have you been around America have a look around well actually yes right once I drove all the way from Boston Massachusetts can I do San Francisco goes a long way I was recreating the journey of Jack Kerouac in on the road some say too little too late by at a lovely time and I met a lot of really nice people with spectacular really yeah because I tell you why it confounded it confounded prejudice you know fail you my prejudice right one got confounded many people I thought these people are definitely ill village on account of their physical appearance like proper slackjaw get food look up you'll be right I spoke to them and I talked to me about the linguist and philosopher Noam Chomsky yes and talk to me about a lot of political conspiracies UFOs and the possibility of revolution is your Iblees elderly that should off retail building right there seem not Chomsky they taught iron banjos that season for it so just sit there all the manufacturer are concerned it happens every day ignite now do you think a lot of British people have prejudice is about the American yes I think there are prejudices because of some American foreign policy type things but when I came here to America I really supply everyone seems really really cool and lovely and warm we like to go google callers from here you know what yeah but delicious back growing the taste is very available it's a brown fizzy drink exactly it's all brown but there's been in it it's brown but they don't let the brown give you it's not dull not know I couldn't be later deprivation they should be rental car you follow me I think we need a new color to make a exciting enough hey steady there son oh come on know every 90 minutes ultraviolet if everyone fails I'll kill it but okay why not try new ultraviolet fizzy drink screaming delicious how my sleep rush no no no slow down we don't advertise on CBS they balance only fix you okay here's a fixer district is not available in stores yeah call this number mean great make it in a factory oh hey hey were you telling me where you can tell people we might really thought fizzy them on a suspect something we can call beneath it rage yeah okay losing 50 Craig Hudson wheelie available now [Applause] I like you so much but I milked him myself though you've got to fart nothing wrong Thank You butterball Franken ball good ball time at the VMA Awards then VMAs it's difficult because the room is very industry and industry people is sometimes hard to perform to them yes cause of what if you're a famous musician you don't think as a famous musician I shall sit patiently and listen to that person I've never seen before yeah that's nice mate right but a very happy with it it's freely and exciting TV highs a bit like crack but the comedown is probably a bit worse you know I stopped taking any of these things before crack was invented will you miss down because it was nice not nice and fizzy Craig phone no no but if I don't recommend crack no no bad for you yes it's bad for your teeth and it destroys lives that's why I stopped taking it all together good for you I won't have any crack say someone sells a party so I'll go cancel them crack yeah I'll go no thanks doing you know I gotta have a pig in a blanket yeah have you got a pig in a blanket no but I've got a little sausage roll I'll take no I was very interested to see that you had performed in the famous London Hackney Empire is that true yes I have it was a great honour to perform there because Charlie Chaplin for men and Marx Brothers Laurel and Hardy oh my suddenly those people seemed irrelevant so as I stood on that stage at the Hackney Empire I felt a strong sensation I was standing upon the shoulders of a giant that was you yeah I was yes unfortunately when I was performing there I was doing one in the room ah right well I wasn't popular with it there Hackney's you drive away the folk of blackness I did they didn't like me oh well one of them did release a girl yeah I'll do yes it will have enough for a marriage unless you're in Salt Lake City then it can start no I like all religion Oh towards my favorite goodies my favorite one of all god I'd have to say four picks one yeah definitely God are you are you having a nice time and then the Hollywood are you enjoying it are you alone to surf and everything no surfing is much too difficult I mean it's not it seems unnatural but it's a defiance of the Lord who looks out an ocean a big blue wave the ocean wouldn't leave it and then says what let's stand on that yeah I see where you're going even Jesus only would put it once he was a serpent he didn't have a board you just use feet what I meant to think that well that makes me appreciate you more I already like Jesus yeah now I love him okay I'm very minute yeah other religious things what's good my favorite you know right you'll be alright thanks I guys are I'll keep it because I'm not originally American did you know that what yes really yes are you from Scotland yeah come over now yes really there's several occasions for the Edinburgh Festival of comedy yes the hope the dugout well I was arrested beaten up and hospitalized he's like your God it was a triumph but I'm going back for you well actually no it went badly because I what I did was sometimes I feel a feeling intuitively and I think I'll express this because this is definitely information from like some superior cosmic being God God he's good at sometimes though isn't that it's me feeling not wearing the mind I said something I said some things are a bit crazy I'm going to a fight with the audience then I'm going to fight a security and out of order because the security of the gilded balloon where I was performing who think they were there to look after me the compare of the show but they helped to beat me out yes well they were probably mortal people they were well that's where you went wrong they made that clear during my thrashing we're local we didn't have to travel far from that could you recommend any site we have big break and young around I'll stay here all right [Applause] like everybody I mean I was watching Brad nizam he's now you are you were on the BMS the other night you made a crack about the Jonas Brothers you better watch brother I know because I was only joking for some fun I just thought it was some fun they're lovely limb lads I'd like him it's only I suppose we might be because like I was also a virgin at their age but it won't cause of a choice it will cause of some pimples and body fat right I think it was jealousy jealousy was talking like you know qaddafi not fair enough be a virgin fair enough but like me personally now that I am allowed to have sex I like it that's just a different choice no I got it I really like come in someone squit are the boobs bottom just a couple of Oh what about what about what about ladies your mistakes with ladies they don't know crazy [Music] that's good big pair of hairy boobs and a winky lovely you can't say Winkies not cable it was a lie said then was unacceptable it is I apologized to everyone immensely and have you had have you had to apologize to anyone about the thing not only like not I haven't had to apologize to anybody correct but it is just joke to notice with jobs a comedian you know I find a lot pressure to do jokes I know that's right like I do sometimes we see them building well that's not true I know I said it for commonly reasons like there it's not true yeah I do not live my life according to these principally this isn't even my real haircut I go oh my comb that old flat I sit down in front of the television and cry really I'm a big guy what do you like to watch some television jinjo documentaries about animals for example a dangerous catch when they go ahead and get the crabs hold on I've never seen that what danger although I've had by being in a documentary where crabs were involved I understand and it was dangerous models and only the really big one you don't M getting near ya ideas above their stations it's almost as if you had seen the documentary about that pretty much the core of the documentary well yeah welcome to dangerous catch I don't feel the need to watch it anymore I've learned more than enough about crustaceans for one day the sub aquatic world holds no mysteries for me King Poseidon seems but a dullard tell us about it all right well I'm sorry just shutting off yellow means that's your job that's your job for goodness sake don't come out here and talk come out here and sure hey sure it's Recep all right you're so funny it's on an angle like that to draw attention to it ah what that stays well now you've looked you're already on I think I was on the path some time ago you got here well you're wearing a lot of jewelry did the sound man say anything to you like young sound old jingle e when you come out of it just like to make Mars listen it all cynical body was now I said look I'm sorry if our jingle jangle but that's just the charisma who you are do you enjoy Christmas time I do you a jingle and jangle around at that point you know I use that period to celebrate my old mate God oh yeah good Oh actually it's out that I am deeply spiritual and believe in love more than all else but this is the only thing I care for is love loves for the Jonas Brothers love for all people I do only capable I'm not I don't deal in Haiti is an unpleasant waste of our time oh you're not going to enjoy Ellie at all I've been able to convert love into sex with multiple partners for money I would have fella go about doing something like that yeah oh well actually I know technique here's what you do I have to say too verifiable facts right Craig Ferguson us at here you can fill your bottom on that chair you have a lovely lovely accent kiss me you fool to verifiable facts followed by an option but kiss me you fool bit that was an option I did not take that when I see where you're going alright so Russell Brad you're sitting there with your lovely pointy shoes and your diagonal depth yes me you fool haha no no now I nearly went for it yes yet because you were tempted also my zip got a lot more Scottie don't do that no I have you ever thought about being in one of the pot or rock music bands yourself you I mean because you know you're ready up where there whether you know I like to dress in a way that seems sexy but you know to a musician they take themselves seriously as they should do very yes me myself I can't take myself seriously if I was like water I still laugh yeah poor but I sort of makes me cold still I'm still missing the veil I can't be serious about it so that's why comedy because comedy if you're a rock star you're standing on station ain't i sexy yeah no no no I don't feel : she's not sexy at all the suspects the subtext and Phil Collins he may look like an ordinary man such as you might found loafing about sweeping leaves outside of Gary exactly but on the inside he is a virile sexual being Colin sorry no no no I doesn't really work we do Billy Joe well our brilliant Joe le sequence that you notice how I said so well it was like extra syllable yeah I wrote Billy while well what he's going to say Billy Joel I'm not intruding into I felt kind of get stabbed me fall over then get up again what's that called when that happens when it falls over and gets up again in some ways it's called a resurrect anyone anyone you'd like to say before you leave you because you're so bloody nice thank you and you've been lovely to spend some time with you oh yes but more than that that lovely man in the sky God [Applause] [Music] please Oregon rustles rind everyone [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] welcome brother tapas fantastic in that phone you look great in your dead Shakespeare and Alfred Molina slap tubes fantastic yeah like but that's lat Craig the thing is that being the acting of giving a slap is essentially the same as giving a slap there's no margin I thought I bet repair by acting pair yeah but what happened while I was thinking that thought to myself privately inside the confines of my mind right was a genuine actual deal abjure here's a big money he's got BP hands he's beating his odds we have a ten pounds it was awful they were like that's really come on inactive it is was it again oh please I'm not nervous because of how angry I am in this scene all right I'm about to slap you I'm gonna do it again I'll do the slapping okay at the Lord you betrayed me with my loving trick bloody Alfred Molina right there I don't know Alfred Molina what's wrong well it's so much more elaborate the reptile it got fangs one fangs chipped off weathered by times yes by my time just like the penis which is a substitute for MU you're getting exactly IIIi I'm a nerve by that emotional I have a babymoon so you want blood yourself I don't think you'd be so smug after the introduction of aquatic in my god though he's very expensive Russell don't pour water reading crazy gay charges forty eight dollars for one of their hands eyes robot II apologize to me and respect me now you've done it now you're alright I can't knock you he's like terminate it totally can't be stopped no no Russell I think he can I think you may have stopped him I'm reading your book it's very good enjoyable yeah it's very good was rookie work too yeah well I thought I can't call it booking book one again after the last one well you carry people with me I love that book so much I'm going to buy it again book it look one again like the people might begin to think I'm attracting some sort of vortex like a some time continuum such as you might find in an episode of The Twilight Zone or the film crap or did you just suggest that to me surreptitiously do you think I would took the thicket of time travel because there's a prop from a time travel TV show back in our native United Kingdom and the next thing I was about to say could I have a tiny nut bag full of juice that's kind guru testicles that is really yeah it really is Carrie Fisher give them to me last night I drew a face on them to make it more friendly but their time but their actual cat and I'm thinking that must be a pretty small kangaroo because kangaroos get pretty big yeah that's true also unlike a human the kangaroo sack is covered in down and has a face on on a transition no I my my artistical is covered in a down and little face on him I bet you look they know me I don't think you will ever again this is between us humans from England and Scotland Thank You [Music] cousin's Air Canada I regret giving him all of my water oh hi snowman area get some in there this could be on Sesame Street to demonstrate sharing this meeting if you wish adjourned it'll taste good I never drank gin back in the days you ever drink gin gin people tended to be all kind of Dickensian and weird they were like Hulka Hogarth Ian when she's all guardian excellent reference to a painter I rather enjoy see ya like because of course the gin epidemic in Britain in the old days that was like crack these days when it gene came along that surgeon was the crack of the 17th century people weren't ready there could be on PBS too as a sort of irritation right we're educating people I wrote it okay back in the seventies any kid was like crack and beer was crystal meth look what time it wants to be young yeah ramanga yeah your crack and your crystal man Oh Bonnie Larry Jennifer's your crack I was trying to remember shares real name no no spit deserves more my daughter Taylor had Jeanie me I was watching in my dressing room you went and they lit with a former name wrote some variant going ah why weren't you in the audience we don't care we follow a girl oh no another [ __ ] back Oh Sonny Bono history oh who cares no no no you show no don't okay Judaism England England or Mexico that actually works geographically and graphically but nautically not socially economically and not politically but geographically do you have a blazer so begin to write tell you here in the hair Bradford oh you've got married with me congratulations yeah thank you I've married a human female that was never on the cards he wants one more segment is one most neckman oh don't look they went bought the book they've got the receipt here and everything and very elaborate receipt yes like what kind of auditing are you facing my guess is that the ticket and they've got the receipt so they can take it back after the show well you know what as long as ebu or robot thing reads it obviously the food spaghetti such you were I had that we've got to get it is I've loved my wife on you know me absolutely that's a burial of your wife then I love my wife right yeah doesn't make us like a couple of pansies no that's not the thing that makes it like a couple of bad is it it's a whole lot of other things that makes is like a couple of pounds incra meetings in the canyon okay happening alright then we'll take a break is commercial time those products are necessary yes they are to be a scarer right [Applause] [Music] I'm [Applause] welcome back everyone brad is here I hope you're spending money on the products we advertise because they're awesome I don't endorse even one of them they're all bloody little pharmaceutical things that you don't need that give you a tummy ache he's wrong you need an erection grandpa I tell you I'm going to give myself a natural erection Oh having a dick [Music] dog eyes too much now calm down here you heart hands Sorry mate and they all right hey Selena sign if you want you here drag me oh oh you rub conscious rap calendar very little guess we don't get to the emails today we give mean hands quickly yes these are electric letters written by a computer such as by Hema have inside of his mind the border was destroyed justly I think because always in science fiction films the robot overcome us now I'm getting in there first all right count on give me that what time is it Jeff fiercest can we do tweet yeah [Music] plus email this is good for you of this one here this is from this is from soon deep in Agra in India alright as a tip Craig I am from India probably not I think you did it in a loving way that's true district I of India visit Los Angeles soon can you give me some tips or warnings Thanks well general ridden to get married recently I've been to India twice and what if you don't send it yeah send it you're going to like it here in LA as a fellow foreigner living in LA I can tell you the main tips our phones don't work well it's hard to get a mobile phone through yo the cracks in the road no cracks in the road lot of facts of the road yeah yeah and crack cracks and the hobos as well mind you if you're homeless you didn't deserve a bit of a kick like probably depressing like viewers kill cold bitter crack lifts the whole mood daddy crack nerd face wheelies and it don't take any don't take cracks yeah there you go you promise they are the drugs that are advertised in the break in which case there new hosel commentary and I kicked a robot yeah alright that's going to cost a fortune to have that thing fixed I know where the composite parts have come from you think I've seen that I've got that head in my house like it does go I don't know don't you don't you've already gone - I might have to subvert it no Evie - I can't think of how there's let it go let it go all right this is Robin and Dyersville in Indiana diet bill yeah that sounds like a sarcastic name it's dire here in Dyersville I'd like Palookaville it's like a sucker I love the people of driving there you go uh see Frank's Bill Craig and Russell he probably meant as well I have a major phobia being in elevators with strangers to the point I'd rather take the stairs than risk it am I being crazy if you live in a building that's very tall then yes yes you crazy but say the building is not so tall then it's good for your thighs to go up the stairs and those strangers inevitably statistically if you meet enough strangers you will eventually even fall in love with one or that one might one might kill you yeah what do you have to look out for is the ones that they put the hooker in the closet with the hooker in the closet that you think that's a bad sign in a stranger sometimes if you don't know why it is someone you know well says put the preferred McLeod put the book I'm in a class if I haven't with someone that's an acquaintance or perhaps family member should you still regard them with suspicion I think Beth yeah best have a baby talk of imprisoning or confining next worker but I think don't do that or say it or unless you're George my even then not Michael and Boy George bully children yes if it was a brief period we change someone to a radiator it was an accident I myself today have accidentally chained over nine people to radiators just while trying to get the temperature right we're out of time na na yeah time continues to exist in climate as if it wasn't like Stephen Hawking no he was wrong he was wrong he was like time continued thing existed I'm like no actually it doesn't because it has the stuff for commercials ever expanding the universe is expanding my erection is expanding due to be product well it's always a pleasure where am I going to go now just home or something well yeah you married now you're going to go home come home tend to the garden tend to the garden into the girl I would send to the bike shop exactly with your yeah well yeah yeah Russell Brand everybody [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] - hello Craig you look really nice he's like wow well thank you I've put on all of my best stuff well it's very impressive your jacket and your trousers and your waistcoat I see yes that's right are you snake very nice you smell very nice these are various products oils unjú it's that I put in my hair just your ear no just my hair no my anus I'm really do you what burning sage I'll get that sage I torch it no I'm like an angry mob chasing myself through a village because of my own creation we see the exact slight marketers are very but this is a great idea why you're gonna cheat on yourself with burning sage yeah I mean the only way I'll learn is if I chase myself out of the village I figure otherwise I'll continue to middle in God's domain as Frankenstein did I'm sorry Jeff - already the last time I did it because why did I did because of nerves an alcohol look like last time you were here you poured you poured a drink down his skull I think I did that was wrong and I won't ever do anything that's like that again thank you very much I think we've all learned something then yeah well is it though I'll tell you why Blair don't do your show live what the hell are you thinking don't do that I don't know why did it was I'm not personally responsible touching touching kissing first and touching an odd way to establish a sexual relationship kissing before touching yes no no no I'm Scottish nice this is being well established there don't make me nervous to touch you Carla no touch away go ahead not the same Oh Jess have a rummage gone there look anyway I'm not rummaging you're wiping I think implicit within rummaging is unsettling the testis rolling out like a canvas oh no no do a portrait of yourself on your own testes scrunch it back up to see yourself age like a picture of dorian gray in your maybe that's a terrifying image you click yourself of a portrait of yourself on your technicals grew older whilst you remain forever young I'll do it I'll do it would you make that pact with Satan no let's why are you going during your soul live what's wrong you get into trouble bad things will happen oh don't say exams like a prophecy now no this is like a prophecy but things will it's not a prophecy I'm concerned for them if I hurt you I mean you're a volatile human there some things you cannot think that happened were and you know maybe you need a little bit of safety net some clumsy voice comes in my mind I don't know where it comes from and it sort of goes rustle you should say something about the Queen now and then I guess the ghost of Sir Alec Guinness honey really he's been in there for ages the voice in my head never says do good things like no I don't voice says do good things oh yeah yeah yeah they're like Jiminy Cricket stuff no no no Mike wait how did you do that that is the voice in my head be gently affable with your eyes lor either be deadly up I tell you what you've got you've got like a Rat Pack style masculinity you're very at ease women will find you very attractive but men will think of a good guy whereas I'm I think you make a fair point perfect I'll make this on the mug or in the arena of mugs look at me conventional you a coiled serpent well this is this is a obviously some kind of Freudian penis problem going on yeah set of what Freud would make it well yeah it's a what we do know what Freud Amiga as you see what you don't you the same thing you mean with everything always your mouth sex it's always about sex with Freud oh it's about sex so you go that's a Viennese accent from the circumcision all the bad things so he ended up leaving slamming oh you know isn't it yeah little what a pastry thank you very much he wants to do a fish month he wants to do in these mug that's what they lie and that's Freud and Jung and you play by Craig and myself hey no I you're a bit more young in than Freudian oh yeah much more young in because I like all that archetypal imagery I like the idea that we've got a collective mind that was by which we're all connected yeah and there's invisible thread connecting all our brains I love all that no I like that too who wouldn't like to be connected to someone else's brain by an invisible thread al-qaeda well actually they could use the invisible threads to detonate stuff so they don't know it probably most not then yeah that's one on live TV this but that won't be in your show will it oh yes it will son well I just like saying al Qaeda what they've done was bad to be clear I think that clear that one up plan take my hand I'm against that great thing so a listen do you do the kundalini yoga young loved kundalini yoga yeah but he didn't look like he did any because he's old smoking a paint can use for the rape and do yoga at the same time if you want do what you like turn up I don't think if you went to an early yoga class you had a large briar pipe and starts doing this hopefully be like you can't smoke that in here and then you could say Carl Jung did it Carl Jung did it I mean how often can you use that excuse like because they took a lot of hallucinogen Carl your incident so I had to come eat your garnish to me you want to do your arm your mum oh yes yeah well they were they were dabbling with shamanism weren't they of course where they they were trying to unlock hidden aspects of consciousness they believe that we are imprisoned by the material world but there's all sorts of different aspects of consciousness inaccessible to us because we're living in a confession Society Korea I think Walt Whitman did a bit of that earlier on as well without leaves of grass when he said I'm not adjusted my boots and my hat to remember that but oh women was ahead of the curve they certainly was I'm about Walt Disney a lovely counselor lovely arse or when they had that little boy with the nose the great little liar that little liar oh that kid you're right I'm very excited now yeah you bet right up but if I simply start going on about Jung and Freud and like okay in my moods changed yeah it happens we have to take a commercial break oh do we those broad happen it's just a once we said look if you want a car buy a car if you want some cereal size of cereals if you want some Biograph buy some viagra I'm like the turn up your telly they could witness wielding backwards ahead me right after these messages [Applause] [Music] [Applause] every little bet that man floor and his views are not mine let me tell you that life they're yours so how are things otherwise you're doing your Brand X euro I saw you at the Olympics remember I texted you and I said you were so good you come on in that bus and the Olympics was mine I won the hundred meters you're religious oh I was so fast that day I don't know what it was I'd be all of the other hundred meter runners will you check for cocaine afterwards there were several in discrepant team and I was ultimately stripped not only of my medals but my dignity what happened to all of us then break late-night television is opening hey and did you have a nice time though I'll Olympics yeah yeah and they've taken wrestling out what do you mean now the Olympics the removing wrestling like it was a bad and what safety well they say it's not a sport it's just cuddling with no clothes on if there was an Olympic medal for that then I should be surely adorned I don't silver bronze bag well you can't play up which is I'm sad to tell you were out of time play do you mean Latin no inside my throttle is a boy I'll do it more like a Stella Adler more sort of 50s alright go again all right you ready yeah I'm sad to say we're out of time I don't cool man well no I feel like I'm not gay anything to do it can I do it like a Broadway musical I'll just probably musical and you do it right you ready yeah I'm sad super we're out of time okay well now you pick the color what ha ha ha let's throw a frisbee at the horse yeah yeah uncle Brian everybody remember [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: The Jayleno Fly

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Keywords: クレイグと女の子の女性, クレイグ・ファーガソン, ロボットをゲオフ, craig ferguson, craig ferguson and the ladies, flirting masterclass, funny late night, best talkshow, funny talkshow, talkshow compilation, talkshow moments, flirt talkshow, geoff the robot, the jayleno fly, funny moments, russell brand drugs, russell brand comedy, russell brand funny, russell brand craig ferguson, russell brand interview, russell brand geoff, russell brand crazy, russell brand talkshow, katy perry

Id: LuAHg0_pHWQ

Length: 41min 13sec (2473 seconds)

Published: Mon May 08 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/NoFunHere]

I miss Craig Ferguson. Perfect late night talk show host who had biting political humor, craziness, but didn't turn the show into a nightly rant like all the current crop.

[u/[deleted]]

Daaayumm!!! his mouth runs faster than rabbit's legs