r/Iamverysmart - Top Posts of All Time - I have a 10,000 IQ

I only masturbate mentally my thoughts are so intricate that they can make me [ __ ] and I love that I don't believe in physical masturbation Oh baby your brain is so huge pump me full of all that dirty knowledge welcome to our slash I am very smart we're the most brilliant and talented minds grace us with their presence hit that like button one like equals 1 IQ let's see if we can get close to the IQ of the people in this video not everyone will get this you see it's a pie and on the pie is the number pie and you see I actually calculated those numbers in my brain I didn't just look them up on Google so I can make a Facebook post about how incredibly smart I am just wrote a three paragraph essay for English while everyone else wrote a three sentence explanation funny thing is not a single person use correct grammar capitalization or spelling literally how the [ __ ] are you going to get by in life I'm outraged right now yes not only is this guy's smarter than everyone else but like a totally normal person he knows that no one else uses proper grammar or capitalization or spelling because he went around the class and read every single other assignment you know like you do in the middle of the class actually I am a genius 137 on the IQ meter oh it's there not there so now curiosity is against the law swallow the lies blank swallow the lies is that your real name salutations blink it's so very refreshing to run into another self-proclaimed genius it's a shame I didn't see you at the last monthly meeting we had a lively chat about how we all love the smell of our own fart I'm sure you can relate since your IQ is also exquisitely high golly how old chap I hope to see you at the next Ted Cruz rally if that ain't the most honest [ __ ] I have ever seen more people need to love like them sorry what your first sentence there appears to be a fragment please fix please fix is also a sentence fragment smartass don't you love it when they shoot themselves in the foot like that it just makes it so easy I mostly like how well my reverse proxy works with MB allowing me to apply my SSL certificate and get rid of those damn chrome warnings oh and you know there is no phone home in MB plexins lists of users and your media to their servers hello MPAA warrants that's [ __ ] the cloud portion of Plex TV acts as a directory for sharing but it doesn't know a meeting you have or stream or share and SSL is now supported in plex have you done a Wireshark analysis have you read the source code go back to your corner script kitty any ignoramus can read a blog I wrote the source code asshat hosted by Plex in his name that he wrote the code oh my god I know I'm 21 years young but with all of my past life experiences in comparison to most I'm truly 60 years old I'm fun and bubbly when I want to but I can read people like an open book I'll know something about you before you know it yourself the scariest part is I'm not done growing watch out losers this isn't even my final form in the life of this person posting at the bar hey person what are you reading there on your phone I'm reading about the differences between monocrystalline and polycrystalline photovoltaic panels I'll be with you in just a moment after reading this fascinating article I want to read one more article on how not to ever get laid at a bar Antti VAX mom rubs dirt on child's wound for its natural healing abilities tetanus bacteria hello that could've just called it Clostridium Ted and I yeah he said dirt too doesn't this [ __ ] ignorant no it's called soil I was banned from the high school chess tournament that had like twenty different schools and I would belittle and taunt them they were all pissed because I kept beating them I kept calling this kid useless after every move he did because he was so bad he said [ __ ] this and push the pieces over and told on me coincidentally I'm also banned from anything that the high school cheerleaders go to because every time I showed up they all just wanted to give me [ __ ] and after the 200th [ __ ] I got caught and so I've been banned oh my life is so hard what is one ridiculous reason for which you got kicked out of class for quoting Shakespeare I was sitting in my language arts class and the teacher asked who in here considers themselves a leader everyone except me raised their hands who considers themselves a follower I raised my hand he asked Erik why did you consider yourself a follower while the class snickered in the background I said as Shakespeare once said the Fulda think he's wise but the wise man knows himself to be a fool I was sent to the principal's office for calling the rest of the class fools they tried to expel me but I used my impeccable logic onto the principal he cried and gave me an A+ and then made the teacher and the whole class give me [ __ ] I laughed a diss image as I'm chuckling to myself my mother looks at me and smiles what's so funny she asks what a very good question mother perhaps is the single fact that we are all born to die the very moment you are conceived on this rocky prison we call Earth it is a death sentence maybe it's the reason why we've been killing each other for thousands of years for various barbaric reasons our very existence is a virus to the why should I care if one person dies in Yemen hundreds of newly conceived children will replace them eventually we are all forgotten and we can only pray that we do something implants us into history forever if we are just born to die and be forgotten then life is a paradox a paradox that we will have been trapped in forever and never escape instead of saying this to my mother's feeble mind I simply say it's just a meme mom it's just a meme there's a pretty good chance that the way this guy implants himself into history forever is by making one of the hosts of reddit posts of all time and getting absolutely skewered on YouTube videos like this one good job dude you have been immortalized I [ __ ] hate small talks I want to talk about science death aliens sex the meaning of life the lies you've told your flaws childhood your insecurities your fears I like people with depth who speak with emotion from a twisted mind I don't want to know what's up hey I can't really say I disagree with this guy I also love talking about alien sex alien ding dogs are my favorite thing to think about I mean if the aliens from the movie alien had acid blood is that also be they had acid sperm I don't think it's a genetic condition just your heritage read that again but slowly yesterday at class teacher using this grammatical pattern how do you complete the sentence in every University students are divided up into filthy peasant classmate in every University students are divided up into how smart they are me no university does that kind of sectioning method students are divided up into courses specialties not by their grades University College is not the same with high school me deep inside filthy rice field peasant you're much more primitive than I ever imagined you to be oh well I ain't surprised you haven't stepped into a university and yet and just only got out of high school on top of that you're a rice field peasant I just never thought you'd answer something that's stupid this is why I never liked you and you're kind of the first place you talk like cats but think like a kid oh wait you are all kids ha ha ha sips tea kind off topic but can we stop using gross I mean disgusting nauseating and abhorrent exist let's expand our vocabularies a little bit shall we China is expected to overtake the u.s. in abhorrent domestic product by 2030 can we stop saying words like booth when we have words like owned obliterated and [ __ ] murder that we could use to describe post like this instead all right guys that was our slash I am very smart I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget that like button is our IQ I hope that my entire subscriber base is at least as smart as one of these posters I think by combining our tiny little brains we can be as smart as these people so hit that like button I want to see how smart this video can get

Channel: rSlash

Views: 504,024

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, iamverysmart, r/iamverysmart, iamverysmart posts, iamverysmart funny, iamverysmart fails, i am very smart, funny i am very smart, fails i am very smart

Id: 9iebgawCj0c

Length: 10min 10sec (610 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 02 2019