r/Maliciouscompliance How A Stupid Karen Got Herself Fired!

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where a high-ranking karen at a company gets in big trouble our next credit post is from tbo55 this is a brief story from my time in a telecoms contract center i've worked for a rather large australian provider that everyone knows and actively hates mostly because it's fun to hate them in this story we're doing outbound calls to transition people to the new nbn network for those of you who are unfamiliar with australia's internet it's third world literally our internet was slower than nigeria's internet until we rolled out the nbn and upgraded to slightly faster than third world speeds also worth mentioning much like the company i worked for the nbn was universally hated because it was garbage enough said anyway like all call centers we had a bunch of miserable hoops to jump through in order to bring our paycheck up to a level that could be considered humane our capitalist overlords refer to those hoops as kpis key performance indicators for the blissfully ignorant anyway with a new campaign came a new set of kpis conversion rate active call time after call time and customer satisfaction were the kpis of the day now these kpis were normally complete bs you had to hit some absolutely god tier numbers in order to collect a half decent paycheck however in this particular case there was a loophole see due to the controversial nature of the nbn we were told to focus on quality over quantity they wanted an excellent customer experience and the new kpis were a reflection of that as such the quantity of conversions was not a kpi and when i questioned if we had time limits on calls i was told we don't care what you do but long calls means a good experience so keep them on the line and get them switched over and so began the best work month i had in that soul trap and you know that stereotype of old people talking for eternity and beyond it's a stereotype for a reason each morning i would log in and volunteer for the age clients which was easy because they were normally the hardest people to convert they were fearful of scams and technology and such so many people didn't want to call them and then i'd start to chat see when speaking with the elderly all it takes is a well-placed poke or two and you can literally have them speaking for hours so for the next month i took two to four calls a day down from 20 to 30. i had almost zero after call time i had an 80 conversion rate and 90 customer satisfaction rate turns out people tend to like you after you take the time to listen to them each phone call assuming i wasn't told to go screw myself up on introducing myself would last two to three hours minimum with my record being a seven hour call to a lovely bloke named stan he told some great war stories i ended up doubling my normal paycheck and my managers while not being entirely happy with my nonsense put up with it because at the end of the day those were the rules and the kpis that were given i got my paycheck the old folks got a good chat and my employer got to pay through the nose happy endings for all i proceeded to hand in my resignation once kpis went back to normal which to this day i regard as one of the best decisions i've ever made our next reddit post is from axel walk this happened in 2018 my husband and i own a company that works with companies to provide doctors and nurses for factories and construction ocean first aid training and some other things one of our major accounts is a power company we not only provide on-site personnel but also train them on first aid this particular company is very strict on their health and safety protocols they require all their crews to have an up-to-date first aid certificate and they had shield a decent amount of money to equip each one of their sites including their offices with two aeds that is automatic electric discharger we were also required to provide adjusted training for their staff and crews because of the nature of this job we trained them for three hours over two days one day was theory with a written test and at the end of the next day was a practical exam we were scheduled for a two-day training with this company we were told it would be a small class around 40 people so i booked myself in our senior trainer we arrived for the training set up get the roll call and then this happened as i said this company is very hardcore with their health and safety except for the crews they require every person that has even the slightest chance of visiting a power plant to have a current first aid certificate this means we trained a lot of suits as the room is filling up i notice our senior trainer john talking with a woman i didn't know the conversation is heated and i approach to see what's happening is everything okay no it is not as i was saying to this man i don't need to take this class i did first aid in my previous company and i have very important work to do john says as i explained madam we follow the company policies about training but i already know everything ma'am your manager booked you for this class he probably thinks it's more important than anything else no i'm very high in the company if you don't release me immediately you may lose your contract at that point she looked at us with crossed arms and a smug face john being a no-nonsense former trainer for the army's medic corps was ready to explode cue malicious compliance there was a rule for the training set by the company that any personnel that could provide an up-to-date certificate could sign a waiver for the in-person training but they still had to take the test i provided this as an option to karen she wasn't completely happy but she took it i explained that there were two tests one in writing and one practical she said finance notifier when it was time to take them so two and a half hours later she's sitting down to take the written test immediately i can see that she's struggling since most of the questions are tailored for an industrial setting the test ends and we collect the papers at a quick glance i knew that she had at best pass with a very low grade despite her struggling with the theory she still came in for the practical test the next day in this case i knew she was going to fail along with her normal cpr training we had added an extra automatic electrical discharge training per the company role and despite being a fairly easy and straightforward machine to use she had serious trouble so we pack up and go back to base we rate the tests and as expected she was the only one who failed both spectacularly from the other 39 people only one of them had failed the written test we sent the results and certificates to the company monday morning just after we opened i got a call from chad the company's chief operating officer he's one of our major contacts because training was part of his responsibilities the call went like this good morning op i'm calling about the results of the training good morning chad i had a feeling you'd call can you tell me why my assistant ceo failed is karen your assistant yes well she said she had very important work to do and already had a certificate and she signed the waiver of course she did i could hear the frustration in his voice can we arrange a quick training for today i want you to do it let me check it has to be a late one otherwise tomorrow at 10. hmm tomorrow then see you at the office the next day rolls around and at 10 am sharp i'm in the offices i'm led into a conference room with glass all around and told to wait a few minutes later chad and karen step into the room she looks like she's been chastised she sat across from me while chad stood chad asked for the waiver which i handed to him he took a look at it and gave it back as i explained to you when you were hired you had to pass this training the certificate you gave us was coming up and you came from a different field now do the training properly and pass it it's one of the prerequisites for the job karen took the training properly this time and passed since then she has never complained about first aid training again our next reddit post is from always the noob about a decade ago i was the new guy at the company we have people flying from all over the world to start putting gear together before leaving again for job sites and one of the things i did in my earlier days was pick those people up at the airport take them to their hotels after work etc i pick up a guy who's gonna be my boss at an upcoming job the airport is about an hour from our headquarters and hotel if you take the highway and main roads when i met him at the airport he requested i followed the directions on this awesome new gps app that he's got on his phone he swears it finds the absolute fastest routes i'm paid by the hour and i'm the new guy here so sure no problem it ends up taking almost 25 longer than the main roads would have but i'm not bothered the next day i'm asked to take him to his hotel it's a straight shot a few miles down the road but the road is always stop and go at rush hour i make a turn off the road almost immediately in order to take a route that i know is faster and he starts giving me a gentle amount of grief about not listening to his magical gps app i get him to the hotel in great time but he still just won't stop insisting that the main road which we could see was backed up would have been faster okay fine a couple of days later we drive a few hours to our primary job site the trip is fine i follow his magic app and we arrive without incident it's the largest job i've done so far and i admittedly stumbled with a bit of it the boss tries to give me a pep talk at the end of the day but fails miserably one of the critiques he gives me is you're not here to think there are engineers on the jobs and there are techs i am just a tech and i'm told i'm basically there to do the grunt work as specified and just listen to what people like him tell me to do pretty demoralizing lecture honestly but i take it to heart once the event is over it's my job to take the boss man back to the airport which i'd like to remind you at this point is in the city that i live in and not where my boss is from we're running a little later than i would prefer to but he's the kind of guy who would rather get to the airport 15 minutes before his flight boards and as always we're using his gps which he's still raving about i don't know if this dude's friend invented the app or something but he's just seriously fawning over it well we approach what i know is the exit to the airport but the app says to stay on the highway and take the next exit a mile or two down so i followed the app having learned my lesson from the boss and soon we're stopped in a tight single lane construction zone my boss realizes this and starts to panic and then he starts asking me if i'm sure that i took the right route i say the exit that i'd normally take for this airport was a little ways back but the gps has to keep going you went past the exit for the airport his voice is raised but not shouting i went past a exit for the airport i calmly replied i'm sure this one will get us there but with the speed the traffic is moving i don't know if we'll make your flight it's already a pretty tight connection then he shouted at me what were you thinking since the car was stopped dead i turned my head so i could meet his eyes and very blankly said i'm not here to think if uber had existed at that time i think he would have gotten out of the car with his bag and called for a ride as it is i spent the rest of the trip listening to him yell at some poor airline agent about getting his flight rebooked since by this point it was clear that he wasn't getting there on time and the thing is this really wasn't even malicious on my end i was just too timid to rock the boat anymore so i was doing exactly as i was told it's not my fault to bid him in the butt our next reddit post is from vislamen i used to work at a call center where we would get flooded with calls constantly this is the story of how a busybody boss thought they understood everything since they were in charge at work we're given two 15-minute breaks and one 45-minute lunch break the breaks were scheduled into our day so you could see when they would be but this would change day by day my role was a bit different from my co-workers because i was specifically dealing with the higher issue calls these calls could take up to one hour to complete and the caller would need to stay on the line unless they were fine with a call back later but this was rarely the case since i never knew when i would be getting these calls my break times were a shot in the dark because i would never know if i would or wouldn't be on call i would just take my break as soon as the call was done if my break and call ever intersected which they did 99 of the time enter my boss during a performance review i hit all the marks except for attendance i asked about this because i know that i missed a few days but always with a reasonable update for time frame and i never had a no-show day my boss stated that attendance also applies to breaking lunch times and since i rarely took them at the requested time i was getting written up i explained my role what they hired me for and the challenges involved they didn't care and said that i needed to take breaks when i was told to i asked them to send me an email so i could print it out put it on my desk and never forget again my boss smiled ear to ear probably because they thought i was groveling at that point and sure enough they did stating in the email you must take your breaks only when the schedule tells you to no time else there is no excuse i saved it printed it out sent a copy to my own email and followed it to the letter the next call that happened that same day of course happened to run over into my break time i asked the customer if it would be okay for a call back and they said no i stated that unfortunately i can't stay on the line because i'm required to take my break they became enraged and demanded to speak with my boss i told my boss and he said i need to apologize and finish the call i showed him the email that he just sent to me and said you told me to take my break at this time no matter what i'm doing what you told me to do so i'm taking my break would you like the customer transferred over or should i just hang up my manager took the call over and from that day on i never missed an attendance mark god busybody bosses are the worst down in the comments we have a similar story from ask me about life my dad works as an mri engineer at a large hospital on the east coast there's about eight or nine mri machines in the hospital his job is just essentially to make sure they work properly when he first took his job his boss complained to him that he's in the office too much and doesn't seem to be working too much his response if i'm here in the office it means everything's working if you want me to take longer to repair the machine so i would look busy i can do that but they'll be out of use longer and the hospital would be losing more money he never got a complaint after that that was our slash malicious compliance and if you like this content check out my patreon where i publish extra episodes also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 379,223

Rating: 4.9378443 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: 9_9zLv4k90k

Length: 14min 31sec (871 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 19 2021