said every YouTuber ever. But you know what. I did want to make this fuckin' video If you didn't guess by the video's title: Today I'm gonna be talking about the infamous, "Zoie Burgher" I- I got a picture of a Burger for comedic effect. I've also a Twit Longer open as well. I see a lot of Youtubers having' that. Like moving shit on the screen. It keeps the kids happy Everyone's happy Hey, guys, it's me again- So as many of you are probably already aware of I made a video on Zoie Burgher, as a kinda call out video Uhh, now I didn't call it "call out video" though because the word "callout" and "Rant" is over saturated to fucking shit now and not even self-awareness can get you out of that Zoie Burgher is a Twitch streamer, well was a Twitch streamer She got banned about four times and they won't let her back onto the site suprisingly. But I have been banned for the fourth time ! (TRIGGERED) The fourth time. Now the problem with Zoie herself is All she does is play Call of Duty, and exploit her body for views and money When someone donates to her stream or when she gets like a round winning kill or something in Call Of Duty She'll then twerk or shake her ass or her tits or just anything like that and obviously get all the little kids to nut all over their monitors. essentially bringing in even more money *awkward moment* *check if your mom's not behind you* Now when originally made the video on Zoie, a lot of people came to her defence saying "But Pyro, She does it on Call Of Duty" "Call Of Duty is a 'Man's game'" *Screaming* Holy Triple! Triple! TRIPLE *More inaudible screaming* And honestly, I think it goes without saying, anyone that thinks that a mature rated game is only ever going to be played by an adult, they are fucking retarded. Now obviously, after I've talked about Zoie Burgher the dust settled, everyone went back to doing what they normally do. But then, a couple of days later, everyone's favorite flannel shirt boy, Scarce, came out with a video. And for our next story today we have one from Pyrocynical and Zoie Burgher. He made a video very recently, only a couple of weeks ago, on Zoie Burgher Now I'm sure most of you guys know who Zoie Burgher is, She blew up on YouTube this last month because she has a great personality I guess, I mean, that joke is just so overused but she is just (In slow motion) She's super hot Okay, she's super attractive (In slow motion) attractive And obviously a ton of guys, you know, wanna look at her ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ) You mean 14 year old boys Scarce, I'm pretty sure that's what you meant to say And he was talking about how Zoie Burgher is exploiting her body, basically, for views, And he has a ton of other criticisms in here, and basically Zoie Burgher made a video today criticizing Pyrocynical. She tweeted out here saying: "If Pyrohypocritical can make money off exploiting his face reveal, I can do the same with a nudes reveal. Again guys, showing your face and showing your pussy, two completely different things. But it just seems like she's trying to call Pyrocynical a hypocrite in this video, And Pyro did get some hate today because of her video (In slow motion) Pyro did get some hate Yeah, it's definitely a lot of hate there man, jesus you can actually see the dislike bar for once Holy shit, boys. The dislike bar is 2 pixels long. Pyro's channel is over *Scarce Impression* That's just insane, guys Wow! Zoie Burgher called out Pyrocynical.That is just insane! So after Scarce stated the fucking painfully obvious: That she uploaded a video I had to go check it out Hello everybody, and welcome back to my channel So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls; I hope you all join me on this horrible journey of watching Zoie Burgher attempt to defend herself Now, one point I have to make before starting the video The video that Zoie made herself, is age-restricted Because, in every single fucking video, unless she shows cleavage or ass, no one will click on it Because no one gives a shit on what she's got to say, so she HAS TO put some kind of skin in there. Now I'm not one to comment or really put my nose into matters because, honestly I'm so fucking brand new to Youtube. Who the fuck cares what I have to say? Oh good! She just admitted that no one gives a shit on what she's got to say! I'm gonna wrap the video up here guys Thank you all for watchin' Make sure to subscribe Pyrocynical is someone who made a video about me Labelling all his critiques and erm, lets just say his er Unpleasant feeling towards my Youtube success Ya see Zoie, I don't have a problem that you're successful In a VERY FUCKING SMALL SENSE I am actually happy for you, you've seen a trend, you jumped on it, and you got successful from it Congratulations, here's an [ironic] BroFist When I originally made the video on you, the point was: If someone took a hacksaw to your tits, your pussy, and your ass, so you were just a torso with a head on it I just made a fucking quadriplegic meme The point I'm trying to make Zoie, people watch you for your skin. The don't watch it for your "personality". No one watches you for your "amazing" talks about the state of independence in America, or Black Lives Matter. They watch it because you show your tits, you shake your ass, and they (little kids) nut on the monitor like the second coming of Christ. That's why I'm going to use this video to critique him, and his recent "antics" I'm pretty sure you misused the word 'antic' there, Zoie. Antics is someone who would go and get a Pewdiepie tattoo on their fat ass Antics would be a swedish man living in the UK, driving his car while blasting the song of another Youtuber Oh, yeah, I got some news guys that Leafy beats kids It's just antics though, it's just antics I'm gonna make an exposed video, put in the title antics It's all just a laugh, er, child beating antics Pyrocynical posted a video of his face for the first time which is a strange concept to people who don't really play around on the Youtube world Doing a face reveal is not a weird concept Zoie You do a face reveal people pick on you for a week and you either quit Youtube because of depression or you keep making videos probably still having depression I am very new as I've said and honestly I didn't even know how to use Premier Pro about a month and a half ago let alone understand the complexities of memes and.. "Memology" on Youtube (slo-mo) MEMOLOGY (Zoie, slo-mo) MEMES You see, I-I, took what she was saying half seriously until she unironically said the word "memology" and memes "Can you tell me the definitions of memes?" You see guys, I'm just trying to make the point here right the same person that says they're an expert in "memology' is the same person that wears a pepe shirt to school and everyone throws rotten fruit at him But, er, maybe he's just like er, 'Fuck it' news is slow might as well do my thing because that's kinda how Facebook.. Facebook? that's kinda how Youtube works If you noticed then she just said Facebook with no context to the video We like to dub this: "Buzzfeed Disorder" Now the thing is with Facebook, it's kinda like a stick of Uranium The more you're exposed to it, the more dangerously toxic you become Now Zoie herself she's actually reached the point where she'll just say the word Facebook in random sentences without any kind of meaning she'll probably say Buzzfeed or Buzzfeed Yellow Buzzfeed is number one for that.. Buzzfeed Hey! Hey Mike! How you doing today man? B-B-British people try American candy f-for the first time That was the first and last skit I am ever doing on this channel Now I had no intention of making this video because who the fuck cares what I have to say? Right. Zoie, that's the second fucking time you just made the statement I didn't wanna make this video One time is enough, it's forced but we've all gotta do it to some extent twice in a video? "I-I-I didn't really wanna make this video So I do this video on Zoie Burgher yeah? I didn't wanna make it though I didn't, I didn't wanna make it, but basically she called me fat but I didn't, I didn't wanna make this video Just saying now I didn't wanna make this video" The problem is when people say they don't wanna make a video which I've done in the past it comes across as incredibly pandering and almost sounds like you're voiding the points you're about to make Honestly, I just shake my ass on the internet make that "Cha-Ching" and fuckin' move along with my day What I do love about Zoie is she's just so self aware that she just does not give a fuck it's like - I don't need to make this video I just need to go shake my ass on Youtube Gaming All you twelve year old kids, you'll just nut on your screen like no tomorrow I mean it is kinda depressing that she's aware no one gives a fuck about her personality but at the same time, she's on the path to acceptance I kinda wanna call out Pyrocynical here you did a face reveal you got millions of views off it and it's the talk of the town Zoie, there's a bit of a difference between millions of views and ONE million views you know a million views is really nothing today in Youtube standards if you wanna see a video that has millions of views I suggest you go watch my personal favourites "shrek has $wag" or "mlg teletubbies classics to the Pyrocynical channel I do the same fuckin' thing I just do body reveal and that's my marketing scheme It's just a longer, drawn out version of it but they are one in the same This is where Zoie's retardation is shown in full force She's trying to make the comparison that my face reveal is the same as her showing her body on stream and to repeat myself, I think there's a bit of a difference to showing a human face compared to a woman shaking her ass on cam or twerking So what she's essentially saying is; people who do a face reveal are doing it just for the veiws and for the money and that is an aspect, definitely, of course it will get veiws, you know, someone showing their face when they've never done it before when 'I hate everything' or 'colossal is crazy' does a face reveal that will fucking blow up to shit like would you really be surprised by that? and the thing is, if she left it at that and made that as a point, that would be semi-justified but then she acts like a fucking retard and says that showing my face, is the same as her showing her snatch. Which is - There's no comparison there whatsoever You chose to use your identity.. which people.. want to see you have a - a finger on the pulse.. of the community I love how she's.. Pausing.. Between every.. Few words Like she's.. Making.. This up.. As she.. Goes.. Along Pyrocynical. You did a face reveal and you've made thousands of dollars off of your face reveal. And I've made thousands of dollars off of my body.. reveal-ing nature channel. Do you see what I'm saying here Unfortunately Zoie, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about and I do think you're under the influence of some kind of Class A drug Me, making a face reveal, can not be compared in any way to you doing countless streams of you: Shaking your ass; Showing cleavage; and not only taking that footage, which you earned loads of donation money off but then uploading it onto Youtube, as well to basically double your profit. Do you see what I'm saying here?? Now like I said (many times) I had no intention of making this video Okay Zoie.. First time - Shame on you Second time - Shame on you further Third time - Fuck yourself "Hey guys, I didn't wanna make this video! Scarce is quite fat but I didn't wanna make this video my hand was forced! Forced by God! Act of God!" First of all Pyrocynical, I fuck with what you do you are a great commentator, you are an amazing editor and you are humble. And those are very, very important qualities on the internet Aw hell yeaah, I got a compliment from Zoie Burgher! Thanks a lot Zoie, be sure to check out Zoie's content she er, She shakes her ass a lot er, I think that's it. In an effort for you to stop negative comments about yourself you said something, that you knew they were already going to say Fucking hell guys! She's already discovered what self-deprecation is She's evolving at a much quicker pace than I expected Quick! Get the net! (inaudible) Understand that there is a lot more in common between us than you think Now Zoie's right there is actually a lot more between us than most people would originally think the main difference is - one of us is clothed.. *typical attempt at a british accent* I don't speak in a fancy british accent so it's not quite as interesting and if I were to, people would probably give me a very hard time Ah! Unfortunately Zoie you didn't nail the Pyrocynical voice there that was way too uplifting you see, if you wanna articulate the Pyrocynical voice you gotta go: *slightly lower* Hey, Hey what's up guys? You know those kids on Halo 3 that put on a voice changer to make their voice sound deeper but they still sounding like a faggot. That's the Pyrocynical voice Once you nail that, you'll be able to do anything Fucks sake It's like muscle memory just every time, I do the Casey Neistat okay hand - Cancer The minute you start saying there's a difference between you trying to cash in on my image my tits which are proudly displayed in your thumbnail. There's a difference because I'm doing it? I'm the one? Suddenly, when you take my content it's allowed. Again, Zoie, your argument really doesn't make that much sense So, what you've essentially said is: You can show your tits, and it's okay because you're self aware but if I take them, and put them in a tumbnail of me critisizing you, that's not allowed because I'm making money off it. that's fucking retarded, it's your own fuck up I'm just using it as a point - I mean Hell yeah, it'll bring in the veiws Kids will click on it and just be like: *unmbd-tits-bleh* I'm sorry I used your tits in the thumbnail but that was kinda the fucking point "Because your commentating over it, and you're not in the wrong But clearly you're willing to use your body for views too" Hey Pyro! You did a face reveal right? Doesn't that mean you're just like Zoie Burgher? You know - girl that shows her ass on camera for about half a year straight You're just like her. You're just like Zoie Burgher How fucking dare you show your disgusting oily face on camera knowing full well that it will get you money and revenue. How dare you! So - and don't get me wrong guys I am not trying to pick any fights here I'm gonna try a new thing now.. whenever she back-pedals after making a statement Take a shot - she's done it four times so far #1: Now like I said, I had no intention of making this video #2: Now, I had no intention of making this video #3: Don't get me wrong guys, I am not trying to pick any fights here #4: Now I'm not one to comment or really put my nose into matters Pour yourself some Tequila or Whiskey out the drawer and just have yourself a good time Now the first thing he complained about is my titles You wanna talk about shit titles? Welcome to fucking Youtube. Now Zoie's trying to make a blanket statement here just because everyone's titles on Youtube are cancer hers get a pass Now what you don't understand Zoie I had that play for about ten seconds and I never went into detail so it was clearly taking the piss I even think I mocked my own titles in there for a brief moment I was more concerned with the fact you reworded the word porn to pr0n so it was porn but you still got the revenue from the video Now a lot of you are probably thinking - big words coming from Pyrocynical the creator of CAR SEX. Well if any of you have noticed, I've started to tone down the cancerous titles in my videos, no more all caps cancer. They're still pretty fucking cancerous, I will admit but they're nowhere near, er, what's leafy? Ketchup_Faggot mp4, HOW TO GET A SUPER HOT INTERNET NAME That's a real title - That's a real title to a Youtube video. There's a steep learning curve to Youtube I just got to Youtube - I was on Twitch learning all the in's and out's of that and I came onto Youtube and I was thrust into all the sucess and had to learn in order to keep up with it I love how she makes this comparison, that like Twitch and Youtube are totally different like - W-What's that? Y-You don't stream? What's an mp4 file? They're essentially the same thing Zoie one of them you shake your ass live the other you shake your ass pre-recorded Your face reveal, where you use your body, in order to get veiws because people want to see your face whereas I use my body because I know people want to see me half naked... Interesting. Okay guys, let's count so far how many times she's repeated the same fucking point without any kind of other explanation "Pyrocynical and his face reveal" "Pyrocynical posted a video of his face" "He posted his face reveal" "The face reveal at one million" "You did a face reveal " "Until he did a face reveal" "You did a face reveal because people want to see your face" "Clearly you're willing to use your body for views too" "But they are one in the same" "I do the same fuckin' thing" "When you do a critique video please - please do something for me and use your fucking brain" *scarce impression* 'This is just insane guys Zoie Burgher repeats the same point for a ten minute long video, wow' You know what I love about some people when they give a point in an argument and they don't - like - work on that point or give any more context. They just repeat the same fucking point over and over It does become quite infuriating I've shown my face - yes it got over a million views I got revenue from it - of course I fucking did You show your ass on stream and on Youtube. You show your cleavage on stream and on Youtube. My face reveal was one video You shake your ass in 90% of your Youtube videos And pretty much all of your streams. You then went and titled your videos: Banned Twitch Streamer knowing that it would get you views. When I do a facecam video I don't put face reveal in the title over and over and over I do it once and then I fucking leave it If you wanna see someone put facecam in every title go watch fucking leafy My dick ho-ho! I have aids. I am not accountable for kids watching things on the internet whether Youtube age restricts me or not, that's within thier guidelines they - It's on a case by case basis not all my videos get age restricted. Not all of them deserve it This one probably won't get age restricted because I'm just sitting in a bikini Unfortunately Zoie, I am going to have to disagree with you there your videos do deserve to be age restricted because the main point of them is you showing as much skin as possible I think, it's a very safe statement to make that the majority of people don't watch ya stream for the game your playing they watch it because of you. Because you're showing your ass and your tits. That's the main reason you've built up your viewer base Now funnily enough the most horny group of people are usually children children with their dads credit card, and although you did make a fair point saying you can't regulate children you could take the necessary steps by age restricting your videos yourself to prevent kids clicking on them and by the look of it, whenever you get an age restricted video you actively fight to get it un-age restricted because for some reason you believe by showing your ass on stream is safe for family friendly entertainment. Now, in no way am I saying that my channel's family friendly entertainment but the difference is - Zoie's streams break Youtube's community guidelines My videos swearing like a retard for ten minutes they don't break community guidelines. I think it's okay because my pussy's not hanging out If my vagina were hanging out which has been questionable a couple of times you know - I gotta double check that shit I know I'm doing something wrong Actually that's the definition of it being okay Pyrocynical because of the fact that my vagina isn't hanging out! Oh of course Zoie! You've never done anything wrong in your entire life Those four bans on Twitch due to sexual conduct? Pwah, total mistake, total accident. The same guy just hit ban four times in a row and those age restrictions you get on your videos? Simple mistake. YouTube, you don't know a thing about your own terms of service Like I understand that YouTube's system is fucked and I've made that many points in the past. But Zoie it doesn't take you showing your pussy to make the video illicit for sexual content It's more that fact your entire videos and entire channel... ...if not fucking career is simply based around you showing your ass and your tits Number six, I am playing the victim I don't know if you've seen my DM's or my notifications or my YouTube comments I get hated the fuck out of Holy shit Zoie, you poor thing I'm so sorry for you seriously I can't imagine what you're going through. Who knew that people commenting anonymously online could lead to them saying negative things? Never heard of that before my deepest sympathies go towards ya You're all uncomfortable cause you're all like: *high pitched* "Er people are calling me a lesbian on the internet" and you're doing the best you can to disengage those comments by making the jokes about yourself which is the best way to go about it - absolutley Pyrocynical, you're doing the smart thing You see she just contradicted herself in the space of fifteen fucking seconds. She just said I'm uncomfortable everyone's calling me a lesbian but then congratulates me for becoming self aware and using self deprecation to deflect that criticism. It's either one or the other I'm a little bitch complaining or I'm doing a good job deflecting it please - if you're gonna pick a side can you fucking stay on it please? And I do the same fucking thing. I shake my ass, I shake my fucking titties and then I say: "Hey, I'm a super thot!" "Donate to me! I need bigger tits to shake on the internet" So apparently me calling myself a lesbian as self deprecation is the same as going on stream, shakin' my ass and then asking people for money so I can shake my ass further. Now I can see why Zoie repeats herself so much because when she tries to form a new opinion or a new point to an argument, she completely fucks herself over Did I upload a video of my face? Hell yeah Did I call myself a lesbian? Hell yeah Did I get money and views? Hell yeah But that is nowhere near the same, as me going on stream shaking my ass and my tits and then getting kids to donate, and then doing it again further to promote the kids and hope that they donate again. You see what Zoie's done is, she found one correlation. The fact that we both make money from our Youtube vidoes and she's now trying to build a foundation of an argument upon that and as you can see through the video so far it's so loosley fucking based So Pyro, if you and other Youtubers are allowed to do face reveals and market your body in order to receive higher amounts of views why can't I do the same? You're allowed to do a face reveal and I'm going to do a nudes reveal at one million subscribers Whenever, if, and when that ever happens I will be posting an entirely nude photo Ah, that's great Zoie, you've just used the entire video arguing with me repeating the same point about fifty fucking times Just to plug in the fact you're going to show a pussy picture at a million subs Your video now as about as much weight as a Fousey Tube video. Like when Fousey makes a very serious video but promotes his shirts at the very start of it. *some cancer music* I've been wanting to talk about this for months now I also find it quite funny that she makes that she makes this point saying she has no control over children but yet she then proceeds to say that she's doing nudes, and she never says at any point you've got to be over eighteen or anything she's just like: "Hell yeah you're four years old? Come look at my pussy!" Now this video was originally age restricted by Youtube but she managed to fight off the claim and it's no longer age restricted so the point still stands, this is a public video that anyone can access. Some little fucking kid will click on this and be like: "Oh senior, what is nude photo?" I understand that you can't regulate 100% of kids totally understandable and you actually made a semi decent point there but you're now absolving yourself of any kind of wrongdoing saying you're posting nudes but taking no prevention to actually stop kids from going onto that Go check out my twitter today I actually posted some kind of teaser It is a nude for the record so please do go with caution and if you are underage this is not permission to go look at porn There is a distinction between porn, and what I do The thing is, she just said if you're underage don't look at porn which would have actually made a good point and nullified my argument but she then proceeds to say that what she does is a lot different from porn. So, apparently showing your snatch and your ass crack isn't allowed but being two centimetres away from that is totally okay. Fair enough, fair enough, let's get kids react on this. Kids react to Zoie Burgher's nearly visible asscrack I'm sure that'll be a family friendly watch. KIDS REACT TO: cancer *zoie burgher* King sketch! $25! The fuck! Ayyy I'll shake my titties for that Here we go! I've got three shots *kid* It's hard to believe that people actually listen to that Also gotta love the fact that she left a link in the description of the video to go view her nude So erm: "Everyone, I'm totally absolved of the situation" "In no way can I control what children do, now allow me to publicly link a picture of my hairy asscrack" Do you feel like this is gonna backfire in my face? Should I drink bleach? I know that is an internet favourite Oh a drinking bleach joke? Classic meme Er, do you guys remember Harambe? Believe it or not, I'm here to stay. And that's pretty much the end of the video if any of you are still alive, I'm so sorry you had to witness this pure retardation all in all, I think Zoie is a decent human being Not really too much as a content creator She's trying to compare me doing a face reveal to her shaking her ass on stream and the fact she said memology.. everything she said after I really didn't take seriously I hope you've all enjoyed this video cause I fucking didn't. Thanks a lot for watching. [ironic] Stay awesome bros *kiss* By-ee!
"That is the first and last skit I am ever doing on this channel"
That skit was actually pretty funny, don't be afraid to to more stuff like it.
"You do a British accent"
I wonder why that might be...
I think the most impressive thing here is that Pyro somehow managed to make a video about Zoie 27 minutes long when Zoie only really made 2-3 points and he rarely repeated himself. He managed to make a serious amount of his own content here. Very good. 10/10 banter m8
'Complexity of memeology' End me
I feel like i say this every fucking time pyro makes a video, but holy shit this video was great
"Oh you're 4 years old? Come look at my pussy".
MEMEOLOGY kill me rn
"GET THE NET"
a drama video this should be fun