Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome back to Reddit's 50/50 challenge. Now I'm only gonna warn you once... gird your loins, gird your lungs, gird...whatever you can because I'm about to subject myself to... UNENDING horrifying, brutal, bloody madness, and maybe a few boobs along the way... Don't worry, I'll censor what I can for you guys, but... just be warned. So enough warning for you guys, I'm just going to go for this. "Cat vs. Balloons compilation," that sounds amazing! or "Aftermath of a Girl Who Fell into a Lake Full of Piranhas" ...Not safe for life... ...seriously Oh it's balloons! YES! YES! Oh yes! Oh-hoho! Look at you! Go get the balloons! oh no *Markilaughter* Ohhh, I'm so happy, I'm so happy alright, okay. That's fine Good good. We did that. We survived it, surprisingly... "Man murdered in basketball court" or "Baboon eating baby gazelle alive." Oh no. Ohhhhhh no. The following events shocked our cameraman- oh, no. Oh no! OHHHH! OHHH NO! OHHHHH! NATURE IS HORRIFYING! Ohhhh nooo Okay, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out on that one. I'm out. I call quitsies I can call quitsies. I'm allowed to do that. Eeeuh. *sighs* Put another in the loss column... *boink* "Alternative Rock song from the 90s" or "Guy chops out a dead bison's liver and another dude eats it raw" OH GOD, it's the bison liver! Ohhhhh no Ohhhhhhhh no! Ohhh god... Eeuh. Euh. Euugh. DON'T DO IT! OH MY GOD! PLEASE, ANYTHING BUT THIS! Youu don't have to do this! I don't know why you- oh my god... I mean... liver's fine, I guess. It's a perfectly edible part, but you don't have to do it right here in the middle of the wherever the hell you are. Alright, I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm alright about I'm all right about that. A man who had his leg torn off after a bike accident or a dog skateboarding at a skate park Now that sounds pleasant. That sounds cool even. Oh, no Oh it's the leg one! oh where's his leg?? Where's... somebody help him? why is no one helping him? Oh don't sh- oh there's the leg well ok fuck we found the fucking leg Well, we're off to a wondrous start I seem to be losing a lot more than I did in the last venture Alright, ok, uh puppy tries to eat a lemon freaks out- adorable- idiot eats a dead wolf spider and freaks out Why is he eating a dead wolf spider number 1 and why does he freak out? Just because he's like not okay with eating the dead wolf spider. I mean I can some- OH, IT'S A LEMON! OH, IT'S A DOG LEMON Yes *giggles* It's a Bernese mountain dog. Oh, it's so cute it just a puppy *laughs* What is it? No one knows, it's a mystery. It's a lemony mystery! Oh, but I'm happy. That's a good one. That's a good one. Okay.. whoo-whoo-Whoo-whoo Cute Peacock spider playing bongos Or spider crawling out of ear canal. OH it's the bongos. I'm seeing that gif before Cassidy cook qualifying for the Olympics or bull's in- infected testicles being removed Oh, it's the Olympics. Oh let's see it - ah come on Cassidy Ho beautiful! beautiful *laughs* What the fuck is this, what the fuck is this 1960s ad executives salute Christina Hendrick's ass, slightly NSFW Or dentist works on person suffering from dental implant infection AH, IT'S THE DENTAL, AHHHH fuck *noises of disgust* That's so much blood. Why is there so much blood? *screams* God, my skin eahhh, oh my God. Ahhh be me shouting about my skin, I'm talking about my skin crawling AHHH Okay, I'm fine. I'm brave so- HA HA HA NO-O-O-O Nope. Not gonna do that. Not gonna do that not gonna do that not gonna do that. All right cat falls asleep while biting toe Or butt augmentation surgery and I want to mention That's probably not good, but I'm actually skipping over some of the worst ones, which usually end up with either Decapitation or dismemberment of some sort or oh oh oh-hohoho *laughs* I imagine that cat was fiercely attacking that toe with all its might and now it's all tuckered out! Oh-hohohohoho Oh, no, hey, how's it going? Awwww all right, ha ha ha Hugh Jackman Singing on stage or kid breaks arm tries to reset it But only makes it worse and the reason I'm picking this one is because when I broke my arm- when I was like in the sixth or seventh grade I Reset it myself so I can relate if this is the kid that breaks his arm and resets it only to make it worse It's the kid, it's the kid- AIE! AHH! *kid breaks arm, friend freaks out* Mark: Don't do it! Oh, no. That's exactly what it looked like.
Kids: Oh, shit, oh shit! Kid 1: Oh shit, oh no
Kid 2: Push it back dude, push it back Mark: Don't give him that advice! NOO!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!
*kids freaking out, crying* *Kid attempts to fix bone* *Kids freak out even more* Kid 1: Dude, get in the car, let's go. Mark: THAT'S BAD
Kid 1: Grab the board Mark: Get my board, get my board Ohhh, gotta get that. Yeah, that's important. Yeah way to go. Oh yeah. It's weird. It's weird It's weird when you break your arm like cuz at first when I broke my arm, it didn't hurt at all It didn't hurt It was like a staircase not quite like that, but more of a like extreme staircase And then it didn't hurt until I tried to reset it, and I reset it pretty good. That- that kid did- What's he doing leveraging it against the ground like that? I just grabbed it and *khhh* and put it back into place and even the doctor said that it was almost perfect Until he had to rebreak it to reset it better, so don't do that Don't do what I did leave it to professionals. So anyway that is all for [50/50] that I'm gonna do for today I think I'm scarred enough for life And I think I've scarred you guys enough as it is. If you want to go see this Please don't. I'm not even going to come close to giving you a recommendation To go doing this. Let me be the filter for the horror that is here because there is much worse on here than this. Also, before you guys go, I just wanted to mention, I've been trying out this new release schedule. I'm releasing videos at 1 and 4 For the most reason that it makes my life a lot easier It makes it so that I'm available when the videos get released and that way I can actually look at comments And I can respond to people and I can actually not stress about waking up before 8:00 a.m. To make sure that the video releases ok I actually have time in the morning to exercise and do language and practice all this stuff. Um, but in other news It's also because it was weird to me that I was releasing videos when most people were in school So I'm going to try it out. That's 1 and 4 pacific standard time Which is like 4:00 and 7:00 eastern time, so I'm going to give it a go and see how it works Let me know what you think and thank you everybody so much for watching. Thank you for Watching me subject myself to horrors Unknown if you want to see the previous version of this that I did check the link of the description below So thank you everybody so much for watching and as always, I will see you in the next video. Bye Bye
I don't understand why mark spends so long editing the bad stuff to censor it instead of just cutting to his camera and showing his reaction, or just glossing over it all together and moving on to the cute safe stuff.