(Ethan): Oh, yeah, I gotta get changed (Mark): Welcome to the Oreo taste test. The Oreo or death challenge. Oreo or Dunk. The Dunkin doze. (Tyler): The Dunkin (silence) Cookies... The milk and cookies challenge. (Mark): I mean kinda. It's just real clickba- oh hi. (E): Hey...dont mind me (M): What's up, what's going on over there? (E): NEVER *laughing* Don't look at my sweet PENIS *laughing* *tea brewing* Step one is complete. Step one is complete. Don't worry don't worry. I'm an artist. I'm an artist. "Hey Sisters" *cracking up* (T): This need to be your brand. You need to sell merch that is just sweat pants shirts (M): Alright, um- (E): This is a look (M): So today we are going to be blindfolded-ly trying Oreos But as with most of the things that I do it's going to be a lot more high stakes than it has in the past If other people have done this, we've got a bucket of ice here and Chica, hey Chica
(E): helloooooo (M): We've got a bucket of ice here. We've got five gallons of milk. One is whole that I do love And then we got 2% and three 1% so in a total.. (E): Isn't whole milk just three percent? (M): 3.5, 3.25 maybe (T): Listen, I hold even with fat-free milk because that's what I drink. (E): Fat-free milk is so gross. (M): It is! (T): It is delicious! Fat milk is gross. (E): It's so watered down! Fat is the thing that gives things flavo- (T): Listen. I like to drink liquid, not... Fat. (E): What are you talking about- (M):You're drinking milk! The point of it is to be fat! (They disagree) (T): The point of milk is CALCIUM! (M): No, fat free milk juice replaces the fat with sugar. That's the only thing that gives it flavor (E): What do you mean you like to drink liquid? Do you not think that whole milk is a li- (T): *angered* It is a liquid, but it's a fatty liquid. It's thick. (E): NO ITS NOT Hold on a second You hold this. (M): Okay. Alright. (E): This is whole milk, whole milk. Okay? (T): It is- it is thick. It is thick! (E):This is a liquid (M): This is a liquid! (T): That is thick. (E): There's almost- (T): NO! (E): That's just water down. (voices jumble as they fight more over the consistency) (T): That (fat-free) is delicious. That (not fat-free) makes me choke. (M): This looks like semen. That looks like glue. I'd rather eat glue than semen. (E): We've settled it (Voice behind camera): You know you're supposed to wean off of milk after you're a baby. I think the issue is that you're all adults drinking milk. (M): Look- look, if our ancestors heard us all complaining about "urg you're not supposed to drink milk" while they're starving in Siberia, I don't think they would be very happy about it. So why don't we just be grateful that we have milk and let me do the math to add up what percentage of milk this Is once it's in this bucket, okay. Total of... eight point five? Divided by five that's... four point two five percent milk ...that's not right *laughter* What's the mean? We're looking for the mean. Three point two five to zero (E): I don't remember what mean is- The average? (The boys struggle with the middle school math) (mystical music) (M): Two 3's- no, three 3's, three 1's, one 0, three 1's, a 2 and a 3.25 . The outliers are 3.25 and 0. It- so the mean has to be between one and two. (music cuts out; silence) (E): What are we trying to figure out? (M): Weighted, there('s) 1 zero, 3 ones, a two and a three point five, so it's eight and a half total, but that's not the point yet Okay one. No five over. No three point, three point two five over five that's one You have three 1s. (T): I'm gonna say it's one point five percent. (M): No! You distribute it, you- where's- I need Excel. You can do this in Excel in two seconds *slight chuckles* Does anybody have Excel on the phone. What does the spreadsheet say, crunch the numbers. (Random person?): Actually don't know how to do that. (M): I don't know either, I was just hoping that if you put it in 1.416 (finally) (T): 1.5! I was close!. (M): You were not correct! Okay, so we need to get We- we're looking for a tota- we didn't compensate for the water... (s h i t) From the ice. (T): We don't have the volume of- (E): Why are we doing this math? (M): Alright fine. (T): You see how the fat makes this look so much worse. No no no, Fat-free milk is awful. It tastes so bad (T): No No Fatty milk is awful. Fat Free Milk tastes great. Fatty milk tastes awful. (M): No, NO. (E): It tastes so watered down and diluted and gross. (M): What's wrong with you- (T): No, nothing's wrong with me. I don't like fat. Everything's wrong. (T): Fat is gross! That's my issue! (M): No! You're the reason that humanity is so overweight because you're- *offended Tyler* WOAH WOAH WOAH (M): You're part of the generation that said fat was evil and sugar is bad- (T): I'm not a part of the burden, just because I have a flavor preference of fat-free milk over whole- (M): You need to forget about your flavor for the good of- (T): It's not the flavor, it's the texture and the fact that fat globs all up in my throat. (M): I don't care (oof) All right. Actually we were totally wrong because we can't fit all- okay we've got (incoherent speech) I- I am done talking (T): FINE *laughter spreads* (M): All right. So! Welcome to the Oreo or death challenge. Ethan here is going to taste test a bunch of Oreos And then we're all gonna test- (blindfold goes wapow) a bunch for you- Why is it wet? (sounds of discomfort from Ethan) (M): You can hear it. You won't see it. (E): *laughing* I can hear the o- (T): Woah why are you double-tying it?! I don't think that's necessary (M): Just- no, I'm loosely- just in case it falls- *shouting* just don't question me- (arguing commences) (E): *shouting* I don't like this! I don't like this- (M): Just shut- okay, this is the Oreo or death challenge He's gonna taste test a bunch of Oreos. If he gets it right, he wins nothing. If he gets it wrong... He gets dunked with ice milk (E): Okay I would like to say that this isn't very fair for me cuz I just had my wisdom teeth pulled so I can't eat solid foods yet (ouch) (T and M): *tries to find a way for him to participate*
(M): You can suck it. I'm gonna tell you what the options are because we can see it So we don't want to have an unfair advantage once we go because then you won't know the options, right? We've got lemon, we've got chocolate. We've got double stuf(f). We've got MEGA stuf(f). Mint! (E): Okay. Hold on. Can I just say that the double and the mega stuf- isn't this about flavor? (M): No, you need to be able to tell the difference (E): Okay... (M): Birthday cake. A good question is what that tastes like because I don't even know. We've got Non-Oreo brand Oreos. You have to be able to tell if they're not Oreos. *struggling with the flavor* (T): What are these, vanilla? (M): Yeah, I think vanilla. (T): Vanilla thins. (M): We got white Oreos. I don't know if there's a flavor difference between there, but you have to tell. (E): I don't like it! (Voice behind camera): So there's no basic Oreos? (E): No normal Oreos. Also, it is pretty chilly outside today. *wapow* (It is deadly silent as Ethan inspects the Oreo.) (E): The question I have- Am I allowed to ask questions? (oh well) Were the off-brand Oreos normal, or were they double stuf? (M): The off-brand was double stuf (agreement from Tyler) (E): *quietly* I... am going to say... that this... *unhappy sigh, laughter* God, there is so much on the line here... *grunt* This is This is double stuf (M): Regular double stuff? (Ethan freaks as the bucket is lifted) Did- regular double stuff? (E): What do you mean, regular? (T & M): is it a normal Oreo? (E): Am I allowed to change my answer? (M): No, just clarify what you meant. (T): Yeah Because the off-brand is double filled. (E): It... Is... Oreo. (M): It was a (hand goes wapow on shoulder) mega stuf I'm sorry (no u aint) *Ethan dies* (E): It's so cold! I hate it! I hate the bird box challenge Sandra Bullock! Get out of here! *Ethan gives up and throws blindfold, everyone laughs* (T/M): You're not done yet! (E): We're not done?! (T): No, there's a whole bunch of Oreos *laughs* *laughter at Ethan's new slogan* (M): Do you want to trade out each time? (T): Then you have to keep track of who's done what. (off-camera) I doubt you're gonna run through all of them for everybody, that be like a two-hour long video. (M): All right. We'll trade out. I'll trade out. I'll go next. (T): You go next? (M): I got balls. (T): Can you see? (M): No I've got my eyes closed I don't even know why we do a blindfold I just closed my eyes because I- I use the honor system because I'm not a spineless dick hole like you. Tyler specifically. I'm sorry I called you a spineless dick hole (T): Thank you. I appreciate your apology, but I don't accept it because you still called me a sp- (M): Well, I mean, I still meant it (E): Mark, are you ready? (M): I'm ready. (similar silence to Ethan's awkward interrogation) I'm not getting a lot of smell *laughter* (E): Can I pour it? (T): Yeah, you can pour it. (M): Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves here, hang on a second. (There is more silence as Markiplier horrendously inspects the Oreo) *ah* This is the off-brand double-stuff. (E): Is that your final answer? (M): Yes. (slosh of the bucket) (M): No-! Aghh! Aahh- What is it? (T/E): It was mega stuf *unhappy groans, laughter* (E): We tricked you! We didn't think that you would guess what you just gave me. *Mark groans again* (E): I'm sorry, it is painful. (T): It's quite cold. (M): Oh, it's not that cold This tasted so bad, though. That's the thing. It didn't taste right. (M): Then again, I haven't had anything beside a thin in a long time. (T): Thin is the best (E): Alright, Tyler, you're up (T): I am up. (Tyler is disgusted by the wet blindfold, but who isn't?) (M): Tough. It was wet before, no different now. (T): Yeah, but it's milky now (M): I don't care you spineless dick hole (T): Hey. You apologize. (M): I'd already did so I can say it ag- (T): no you can't- You have to apologize each time. (M): Double insult Jeopardy (A different type of silence, this time with the crinkle of cookie wrappers) *wapow* I don't even have to taste this. Off-brand double filled. (slosh, then unhappiness of Tyler) I should have tasted it! (M): *laughing* You should have tasted it, Jesus Christ! (E): You were so confident! (mocking) "I don't even have to taste it" (T): "I don't even have to taste it" Dammit! (E): Do you even know what it is? (T): I think it's a double stuf. (E):No. Incorrect. (M): Is that another dunk? (T): No, that's- no, wait! This is... *dramatic stand* Different aftertaste. (M): Yeah, maybe you should have taken your time *laughter* (T): This is birthday cake, dammit! (M): There ya go! *more laughter* Where's your blindfold- it's on the ground? Why is it on the ground? (E): I dunno... (M): It's gettin real soaked. (E): Can we get a different one? (M): No. (E): It's really wet. (M): That's how it is. (E):Oh, it's so wet. (M): It happens. (more silence) (the inspection of oreo begins...) This is the off-brand Oreo. (the suspense is killing me) (M): Yeah, God damn. (T): Dammit! (laughter, Ethan cheers for himself) (M): Is it that obvious? (E): It's just- it's just a very different texture. (T): It's been so long, that's why I thought the other one was- (Mixture of T laughing and M repeating the word "Dammit") (M): Fine! Gimme that! Ah, it's wet! Oh, it's cold! (E): It's still cold and wet. (M): It's okay, I'm not gonna get any wrong after this. (Ethan looks like a fish as he shows off the Thins) Ok, it's definitely a thin, but hang on! (Silence occurs again) (E): *whisper* (M): I don't like that- *laughter* (E): *more whisper* (M): Stahp! (T): *laughing* You just practically stuck it up your nose (M): I'm smelling it! How do you smell things? (T): Not up my nose? (M): It's just a regular Oreo Thin. (E): Ah, you got it. (unhappy Tyler slams bucket down in rage) (M): Thank you! Thank you very much. (clapping) (laughter) (M): Thank you. (T): My arm's all sticky (more laughter) (E): Alright, get in the chair! (T): I am confident that this is a cookie (E): Are you actually gonna taste it this time before you guess? What do you taste? (He must taste silence...) (E): Do you have thoughts on it? (T): Double stuffed Oreo (M): *sigh* dammit (E): Safe for now. We're doing good boys. (M): No. We need content. That's what we need *starts laughing* (E): Evan's got some tricks up his sleeves. Evan, I've been so good to you. Don't betray me like this. You can't modify the cookie, right? *wapow* Right? You can't modify the cookie... Right? (E): Excuse me. (M): Yes. What's up? (E): You can't modify the cookie. I feel like you've modified this cookie. (M): I didn't modify. (E): It feels far too thick (M): I did not modify it. (M): Yeah. Well if I did you'd have to identify it (E): Yeah, they're ended- hmm- *edited voice* this cookie's been tampered with! (laughter) Alright, one side is definitely the lemon. Hmm... I can feel the separation. (laughter as Ethan licks the cookie) You ready for this boys? I think that... it's a lemon Oreo mixed with *deeper voice?* A mega stuf Oreo (T/M): Woooooooow (laughter, seeing that Ethan got it right) (E): I could feel the separation like with these creases and I was like "this one is far too big" (T): Wow (M): That's really impressive. I'm honestly impressed by that. Well done. The game is now on because I think anything's on the table as far as mixes and match and it have to be exact (off-camera): How many are you allowed to mix at once? (M): Let's do two for this round. (o.c): Two? Okay. *laughter; T is muffled* (M): There is a lot of licking happen- are you eating it?! (T): I am eating one of them I'm hungry. (E): *chuckles* How's the weight of it? (M): That's what I'm testing. (M): *muffled* hang on a second (x2) Wait a minute- *laughter* (silence was what he was waiting for) no *laughter* *more laughing* (E): What are ya thinking? (T): Yeah (E): You don't have to give us an answer, but what are your thoughts? (such a giggly group) (M): It feels like it would be- it - this feels thin. It feels thin. (E): Give us an answer. (M): Shut up. Hang on. Okay. This is store brand and this is a Thin. (E): Ohhhh nicely done (everyone claps) (M): Yeah? (T): Yeah. (everyone giggles) (E): Alright, Tyler, you're in the hot seat. (T): Are we sticking to the limit of only two? (M):Yeah, you got two. (T): I feel like this is gonna be a cream separation. (M): You don't know nothin', man (T): I have an inkling feeling that it would be a cream separation with different cookie (ominous music plays as Ethan stares into the soul of Death) (T): So it's a lemon Oreo combined with the thin vanilla (M): *claps* Damn. (E): We're gonna have to get tougher boys. It's my turn. (E): Uh- We should go ha- easy. (laughter) (M): We're gonna dunk a lot cuz we've haven't been dunking enough. Now sit down. (E): Oh my god. I'm so afraid *wapow* *wapow* *wapow* (silence) (there is soft music in the background) (so how is your day? enjoying the subtitles?) (and we are back in) (E): Ok, so this is the store-bought top (aaand back to silence again) (they look too excited...) Hmm. Interesting. Stumped on this one, boys- don't do anything *sound of discomfort* What do I do- (reminder- he got his teeth removed) (M): You're making showings. (E): it's tricky because this is definitely two different things, I think (M): Well, make a commitment. (E): God, it's so hard... *BOOM!* After reviewing the cookie *handle clicks against side* I feel as though there may have not been another sliced icing I feel like there's some trickery going on cuz you're like, "oh we're gonna make it harder" What if you didn't? What if you just gave me a fucking normal one (M): Is that your call? (E): No (T): I mean, what are you what are you deciding? (M): *exasperated sigh* This is decision time, Ethan, you gotta make a choice- (E): Okay! *clap* Okay, okay, I think... I think- I think it's just a double stuf (M): A normal double stuf? (E): *whispers* oh sweet sweet child- nORMAL double stuf- (M): That wasn't enough of a dunk! (T): Get back in the chair! (E): I'm blind! (T): Get back in the chair! (M): Take your lumps! (E): What was it? (T/M): We'll tell you after you get dunked *scared noises from Ethan* *unhappy shouting from Ethan at various speeds* *laughter* (E): What was it? (M): It was double stuf outsides with the cream from a store-bought (T): Yep. (E): Ohhhh (laughter) *muffled* That's why it felt funny. (laughter) (T): Sorry (E): Milk eyes- (T): I wonder if that's like an old slang term for a guy who has eyes for boobs (why Tyler...) (M): No, I don't think- (E): What-? (M): It' cold! (x2) (E): Very cold. (o.c.): How you feeling, Mark? (M): Eh, I mean, my eyes are cold, but I feel good I'm way smarter than these guys, so anything that they come up with will just be child play for me. (giggling from the Giggle Crew T/E) I don't like the giggling (more giggling from T/E) that's happening. I feel like that's just disrespectful (laughter) (M): Wooaaahhh wait a minute (more laughter) There's something going on here. This is- Is this broken? (E): It is. (T): It is broken, yeah. (M): Alright, well, uh, it's a broken cookie! (laughter) Oh my God-! Jesus... Alright. *sniff* *ack* *ack* Why did milk drip on my leg? (T): *laughing* I don't think it's milk. (laughter) *tea brewing* (M): *whispering* What is this. What am I feeling? Did you put something in between- two?- is this three?! Hang on. Okay, there's some birthday cake in here *scoff from off-cam as Ethan continues* Hey, whoa. (x3) (T): I'm over here. (E): You've got some milk dripping down your nose Do you feel it? (M): Totally feel it. All right, this is confusing. Okay, this is my guess. I'm gonna- I'm gonna commit because I'm a man of action I don't like that you're getting ready with that because I'm about to nail this to the wall Mega stuf, birthday cake icing in the middle, mint (E): Ohhhhhhh (T): You were right about three, but you're still wrong! (M): *screams in pain* Oh, what did I get wrong? (T): Oh, it's birthday cake, mint, the last one is chocolate (M): Oh :( Awww noooo! (everyone else laughs) Oh, that's why that felt huge :( *Marks "no"s dissolve into laughter as everyone else chuckles* (Ethan goes flap-flap in the back) (M): My balls... Oh, my balls! (E): Alright, Tyler. You're up! (T): Oh my God, this is- you are right. The giggling is the worst thing. Oh, you know what? It could be just- all bunch of regular stuf'd *laughter* (T): Oh, my Gosh (Mark drops the cream) (Grinch Mark puts the cream on the edible cookie) (T): How many boxes are you holding up? (M): Alright, ready? (T): Oh my God. Oh my God- *laughter* How many are in here?! Can I at least ask that? (M): No. (E): Nope. (laughter) (E): You ready to guess? (T): No, I have so many creams to go through! So... Store-bought cookies. Two mega stuf creams and a store-bought cream (M): Oh, so close. So close... (slosh, Tyler screams, everyone else laughs) (T): Ah, what was it? (M): It was regular cookies. You had- (T): DAMMIT! (unintelligible screeching) (M): You had everything else right. (T): It tasted, like... It tasted burnt. That was the thing, it tasted burnt. (M): I dunno what to tell you. It was probably just the friction of us trying to get it all off (E): We went through so many cookes! (T): And I got the creams right. That's- (M): You- I was amazed by that yeah. All right, so this has been the Oreo or death challenge or whatever I call it at the end of it. Thank you everybody so much- why- we don't need to lean down. (T): I'm cold, that's why I'm leaning This has been Ethan and Tyler, check them out in the description, all the links are down there. CrankGameplays, Apocalypto_12 (E): I have a new clothing line, the Cranky Collection. (M): It's very nice. Yeah. So check it out. (E): *chuckling* That's right, that's it. (M): If you got other ideas for stupid things that we can do, write them in the comments below and we might do them in the future. Thanks everybody so much and as always, we'll see you in the next one Buh-bye! (T/E): Byee!
