Is this video going to be delightful, funny, awesome and entertaining? Or is it gonna be soul-sucking, crushing, depressing and absolutely miserable and show me things that I will not want to see- For the rest of my life? It's 50/50, really. That was it. That was the Segway. That's how I introduced Reddit 50/50, okay? First person to ever do this Have you guys heard about Coke Zero, though? Same, great coke taste 'n zero sugar. They don't sponsor me, I'm just trying to get them to. Reddit 50/50 is a thing that you click on a link- It could be something that it's actually described as, or it could be something the complete opposite of that. So you could see a baby boy bouncing around with a balloon, or you could see a dead body. So it could be terrible or it could be lovely. But you know what? We're in it, so it's time to- No! It's NOT time to LAUGH. Laughter is not necessary. 50/50. Okay, Let's get into it. What the fuck could go wrong, huh? The first one is 50/50: A baby bear, suitable for work, or a foot fungus. Oh, what's it gonna be? Okay, it's foot fungus. That's not that bad.
That's... that's fine. I'd eat that and crackers. All right foot fungus. Just looks like some verrucas and some... some frayed skin. No problem. Bring it on What do you got for me, huh? I have the will of steel. I am a pure alpha. I have testicles so big they don't even fit in my pants anymore. I have to keep them on a shelf! And I only wear them when I really have to go do something important. So I'm not gonna be fooled by this. I'm not gonna be dropped down by this, huh? "A picture of my dirty green fish tank or an old sensei with druggie dreams." Okay, both of these are kind of suitable for work. Okay, that was not so bad. That's just something from like... Ninjago or something. This is easy. Why does everyone always freaked out about Reddit 50/50s? Top of... The last month.
I don't feel like the new ones are really kicking it off for us. I don't think they're really- REALLY tickling my dangles. I think- Okay, this one. "50/50. Man throws up off of boat, or a cute dog smiling." Please be the cute dogs smiling. That's all I want. I don't want to see puke. I hate puke. *excited shouts of joy* That cute dog smiling! Oh, this is a good day. This is a great day. What if I'm the Reddit 50/50 master? I mean though it'd make sense because I'm the first person to ever make a video about Reddit 50/50. So it would only assume that either way it goes I'm gonna be the master anyway. Oh, we're back in the dogs again-
We could get a box full of cute puppies. That sounds like a great day out. That sounds like fun for all the family Or black magic induced meat?
I don't even know what that means. I'm about to find out though, aren't I? Oh my god. Oh my god, I don't know what the hell is happening in that thing I don't even know what I'm allowed to show and what I'm NOT allowed to show- That's like fresh meat that's squeezed and it's just- Vibrating in front of me. Oh-
If you have trypophobia, you are not gonna like that. A dog eating cat food.
Delightful That's not how nature works- (laughs) Or a rabid cat eating a dog. Well it is... 50/50 time-
Can you see that? I don't think you can see that well enough. 50/50 It's a tight chance of something great happening
I'm an all optimist kind of guy. I'm more of a half glass full kind of guy. I'm actually a glass empty kind of guy because I just enjoyed (rock music starts playing)
A nice, delicious, cold, refreshing beverage of Coca-Cola zero sugar-
Same great coke taste but it has zero sugar. (rock music ends) How did they do that? All right, let's see it.
I'm stalling 'cause I want to keep my innocence. Oh, that's a dog eating cat food. Oh, thank god.
Ahh! Blessed heavens! Oh, thank you. I was nervous. I was scared about that one.
That could have gone one way or the other You know why? 'cause it's 50/50.
Let's how the odds work- I'm not a mathematician. I am just a guy standing in front of an audience, asking Coke to sponsor him. There's a lot of dog ones.
Puppy eating ice cream. Oh, that's nice. That's what you want to see-
Or a centipede demon. That's a centipede demon-
Is that a centipede in a snake?! (sound of fear and digust) (more digust-filled noises) Or did the snake try and eat the centipede, and he ate his way through the snake? Ew! I don't know if I'm allowed to show that...
That's gonna be up to the jury to decide. Jury? Is it possible? Can we show that?
Our survey says... Jury's out on that one.
We're gonna have to deliberate. Hold on, I gotta call up- YouTube CEO, Susan Wojcicki. Uh...
1... 9... Sorry, one Mississippi.
Uh, I'll email you back right now-
Yeah, Suzie, baby. Yeah, how's it going? Yeah... Don't know how the algorithm's gonna handle this one. You know with the self-rating and all that right now? I mean I click the stuff to like, describe what my video is... (whispering)
Sorry, talking numbers with the BIG DOG... But I don't know if centipede coming out of snake is actually in your algorithm. I've lied to you all, there's nothing on the screen. I love these ones. Everything is about dogs. It's either very cute puppies eat ice cream- Hell yes. Oh, that's the life I wanna live.
Or couple locked in the box with thousands of flies and eat marshmallows. That doesn't actually sound that bad either. Oh, it's the couples with the flies eating marshmallows. Oh god, you have to eat the marshmallows with all the flies on them... Oh, that's not nice That makes me want to pull the hair off my skin. You what, I'm not fazed by this! People were saying that Reddit 50/50 is either heaven or hell. Mostly hell.
It's usually very, very dark down. It's usually BELOW hell actually. Even Satan himself wouldn't wanna come on to this half the time.
BUT- I'm not freaked out yet. I only end this video when my dinner from this morning- You don't have dinner in the morning.
(laughs) But my dinner from today comes back up through my mouth and out onto the camera, and then all of this has to be blurred. A smiling dog or a gory mouth cupcake. I think I know what this is gonna be.. I think that I know what this is gonna be. Is this a bad one. Is this the badness? It's a smiling dog.
(sigh of relief) Oh, thank god. I have the best luck with Reddit 50/50, okay? I have the luck of the Irish in me. 50/50? More like a hundred! Cute kittens or Fortnite cringe? Both of these are labeled suitable for work-
Do I have to turn off some sort of filter to get the real shit? This seems fine for now.
It's Fortnite cringe. Cool. That's... Not that bad. (scary music starts playing)
Oh... Oh. I needed to be logged in. You need an account to turn off the...
Not suitable for work filter. Oh.
(long sigh) This is going to be bad news, bears. All right, I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I've got my anti-sadness glasses on. You can buy them at Jacksepticeye.com. (close to mic)
You can now actually buy these at Jacksepticeye.com. Terms and conditions apply. And I've got my Coca-Cola zero sugar-
Same great Coke taste... (scary music continues) Zero sugar. But this is gonna go very bad for me right now. Everything else was easy. Everything else up until now was fine. This is an escaped tiger attacks a toddler or a cute dog. Oh Oh, it's the cute duck. Oh! Thank god! Oh yes! Oh baby! Oh, I'm the fucking best at Reddit 50/50 'cause I'm the only person who's ever done a video on Reddit 50/50. (Distant voice)
Shake it out
Shake it out, 50/50 My odds are going up This is starting to turn into like 80/20, alright? Soon it'll be 90/50 That's not- "Some nature (Suitable for Work) or a large volume of period discharge" Oh, god! I can hear the fucking police at my door already. Alright, alright, alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright, okay Okay, you know what? Just- Alpha up! Big boy balls! Big boy balls! Here we go! (sigh of relief)
Oh it's nature. Oh, thank god. *chuckles* I am the BEST at Reddit 50/50! Just change the name of the subreddit to JackyJacky. Oh baby! Some of these I just really don't want to click into. Some of these I don't want to run the risk because that's- horrifying. And I have been a teenager once and gone on websites like this and seen that stuff I've had my fill Okay, I'm gonna pick my battles. Okay, and extremely cute puppy or advance gangrene. God no. No, no Fuck. No, thank you. No, thank you. Oh, oh my little sweet baby virgin eyes. Oh. (Distant Shout)
I'M BLIND! It's okay, it's just a movie prop. That's all it was it's just a movie prop. It's just something from a zombie movie. It wasn't some dude's foot half missing because gangrene had eaten away at it. It's fine, okay? I- I'm fine. Everything is normal. Everything is going perfectly to plan. Okay? "A corn snake with two tails." That's fine. That's just like two snakes in one. A twofer! A great bargain! Or, "a man with radiation burns." (Horror scream effect) Oh, god! Ahh! Ahh ah ah! No, thank you! Oh... (Speaking fast)
Same great Coke taste, zero sugarrr! That's all I need! Oh, fucking hell! Stop it! *groans in disgust* Humans are not supposed to look like that! Humans are meant to look like this! A fine, beautiful, bouncy baby boy! Not melted. They-the-the anti kink connector protectors are not working on my eyes the way they should All right. I need to stop seeing bad stuff. All right, I need I need another layer I need another layer. Reddit 50/50, what is wrong with you? There is a subset of humanity that is very fucked! (Cartoon drop & crashing noise)
Shit! "A hunter holding a decapitated rabbit" or, "a cat with a silly hat." (lowers volume of voice)
Cat with a silly hat. Cat with a silly hat. Please, please for the love of God. Cat with a silly hat! I do not want to see a decapitated rabbit. Okay, okay prepare and prepare thine baby boy eyes. *sigh of relief*
Oh, it's a cat with a hat. Oh, thank god.
Oh, that's lucky. That's delightful! I like that a lot that's a cute kitty I can take these off now! Ooh, it has been redeemed! I'm the best- -at this! I- I'm renaming it right now! JackyJacky That's me. 50/50 is now JackyJacky. You're welcome everybody! That's how we do it. If you need anybody to watc-look at Reddit 50/50 for you Just come to Jacky! Alright, he knows what's up. He knows the right links to click He knows the ones that are gonna get you a hundred percent win rate every time 'cause he's the first person who's made a video About Reddit 50/50! I'm reinventing science, basically. Somebody came up to me like, "wheel?" and I was like, "fuck your wheel. Make it a square bitch!" And then they didn't. It didn't work very well and I was like see original does not mean good. "Man's favourite colour" Okay. Me personally, I used to be a bit of a red but now I'm kind of all the spectrum. I'm kinda- kinda liking blue a lot, lately. Y'know, I'm not gonna lie guys. NGLRN Umm or, "Prom Proposal gone horribly wrong." And this is not suitable for life. Alright, let's see what this is. (happy music starts playing)
"Hey, what's your favourite colour?" "Black" *gasp* I saw that vine before. Y'know what? I was hoping for some cringe. I really thought we were gonna get the bad one. Gee-heck, guys. "A slaughtered doggo," or, "a smiley doggo." Why are you doing things to these poor animals? You can't no no. *sigh of relief*
It's a smiley dog. Thank god, I do not want to see dogs put the harm. They're so cute and precious. I love them and this... ...is never more true then right now. Okay, I'm on a winning streak. We're going for 3 more. Put it up on the board! 3 more! See it right there? That's what we're going for. That's what we're gonna do. Alright, get ready. Get ready. Okay. Okay, 3 more. Put it up on the board! I have a win streak, alright? These three better still be here by the end of this. "Cat eating cheese," or, "people dying." No (horror scream effect) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no (dramatic, sad music starts playing) That- that's- that's one down. Two to go. Okay, I have two lives left! I will survive this! "Humans made into trains." "Not suitable for work or life," or, "not straight fucking water." Umm or, "fantastic vanilla cake vanilla cake." Please Okay, I'm gonna have to call my mum after this and I'll have to call to her and cry into the phone for an hour. Do you want that to happen? No Hey, that's not too bad That's not that bad at all. That-that's a cartoon, okay? Of Thomas the Tank Engine train people. Umm Horrifying to think about but not that bad. Okay, we will take we'll take a half off that one. A half has gone off that one because that wasn't that bad, okay? I have a life and a half left. Alright, and hopefully I don't lose a life. 'cause what are you gonna do with half a life? All right, I would- I need full lives "Diabetic foot with maggot infestation," Hmm delicious or "Vladimir Putin playing Tetris" That also sounds kind of horrible but let's see. God, god, god. No, no, god! *groans in disgust* 50/50 more like ShittyShitty. I'm putting these fucking bitches back on. I need something to protect my virgin, eyeballs Okay, these baby blues are gonna be turned into baby reds in a second from all the stress I'm having. The last life is gone. We have half a life left. Can I make this the ultimate victory? If I get this one, I win everything. If I get this one, I win all of everything. Alright I'm gonna come to your house and steal your shit. Well, I won't steal it. I'll just take it 'cause it's mine now 'cause I win everything Okay, if you watch this video further you have agreed to the deal got it, okay? Let's see what we have. "Pizza smiling," or, "arm cut off." I would chop off an arm for pizza. Not gonna lie. NGL fam.
(pls kill me i don't want to write this) Umm.. Why the fuck did I say that..? Well this is gonna ring true. It's time for Jackie Jackie Alright. Time for the 50/50 streak to come to an end and I'm gonna win everything half a life left, baby. It tis but a flesh wound. I'm walking around with no arms and legs right now Let's see if there's an arm cut off in this picture. Ohh! God fucking damn it all the goggles, they do nothing! Oh UGH AW FUCK I Hate it. Humans suck. Yeah, Suzie. Yeah. Yeah, just delete it all, just delete the channel. Yeah it no- It's over It's over. It's doesn- it doesn't deserve to be here anymore. No just.. wipe it off the planet along with everything else. Okay Yeah, end it all. Okay, call me back when you get this message. That was a horrible time. That was not that fun, guys. I'm not gonna lie. That was.. Not a great time I didn't even really look at half the stuff because I know as soon as they see it my little soul is gonna disappear (awww..) It's gonna leave my body outside my ass. That's not PMA! They part my ass. No, that's we need positive mental attitude, we need 50/50. Alright, the scale started to turn against me. I'm gonna flip a coin next time and it's just gonna laugh in my face, but it is what it is I guess that's a video Is it done? Is it all done? Can I can I go wash my eyes with bleach now? Cool. Thanks. Yeah. Bye. See you later (Outro Music) At least you guys got the censored version
Jack needs to know about this subreddit