REASONS Why People ENDED Their RELATIONSHIP With Their Significant Other (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit what was the last straw that caused you to end your relationship with a significant other he was fired from an extremely lucrative position for drinking on the job we'd moved three states over for his job to a city he'd lived before and I managed to secure a position in my chosen field as well he'd been clean and sober for years but he started drinking again to cope with the stress he was horrifically abusive when he drank starting off with shitty comments and insults which escalated to all night screaming rages breaking things almost exclusively my things and then he started talking to other women via text and various apps he convinced at least two of them that we were divorcing and that he'd take care of him laughable because he could barely take care of himself the evening of the day he got fired he started pushing me around in the kitchen pushed me into a wall actually and pulled a gun on me he was blackout drunk and I thought he'd sober up and be okay the next day I was working from home the next day on the phone with a client and he came running into the room I was in jumped on top of me punched me in my face black eye broken nose and snatched my phone I got my phone back took the dog outside and called the cops after they took him away I packed up found an apartment and got out of there before he could bond out he's been trying to get in touch promising he'll never do it again can't live without me etc the thing is he will and eventually he'd probably have killed me I'll be damned if I go out like that edited because so many people mentioned a restraining order the DA's office took care of that for me I was granted a TRO and then a permanent at the first hearing which I did not have to attend I've had a carry permit for almost twenty years and I have several handguns all of which I both know how to use and take to the range for practice regularly I'm also by nature vigilantly attentive to my surroundings and my gut instincts thank you for all your kind words observations and silver I wouldn't let my worst enemy be treated like that let alone allow myself to live that way he wasn't working I was working 16-hour days to make ends meet I got home from work one night around 3:00 a.m. exhausted he was up waiting wanting to pick a fight about something stupid I looked at him and said I'm exhausted I'm been at work since 10:00 can we do this tomorrow he just wouldn't stop talking I had like an out-of-body experience where I was looking at us and I realized it was never going to change it was never going to get better and life was too short to be this unhappy I was only with him because we were together 10 years but honestly the last five were miserable so I got up off the couch and just said I'm done and went to bed he started yelling I'm not done talking to you I said you don't understand I said I'm done I'm done with us and you need to find a new place to live because I'm moving out of this house and you will be homeless he didn't believe me I contacted the landlord broke the lease got a new house and had to call his brother from another states to come get him so he wouldn't be homeless edited thank you for the gold and silver I've had to explain he wasn't a monster I was lucky compared to a lot of women he didn't abuse me he didn't cheat I just wasn't happy for a long time I didn't think just being unhappy was a reason to leave I called his brother because I needed him to be someone else's responsibility so that I wouldn't cave as I had done before and I could just move on knowing that he was at least with his family was in volatile on / off again relationship with a guy who also happened to be a cow occur when we were in our 20s I was in love with him and wanted a firm commitment he was wishy-washy and liked playing games I tolerated it for over a year mostly because I was also very very attracted to him then one day I found out my brother got HIV he was okay health-wise and was diagnosed before it got worse but we were still devastated i sat at home crying and just wanted to be comforted I called the guy told him about my brother and he said sorry that sucks he then immediately launched into a story about how he was at the mall and a woman asked for his phone number that moment was my last straw here I was pouring my heart out about my sick brother and this guy was trying to make me jealous about some woman at the mall this sounds weird but even though he had been shitty to me for over a year it took him being shitty about my brother for me to finally see he wasn't a good guy for me she used to constantly threaten to break up with me whenever there was a fight let's just break up then I was young and stupid so I would forfeit the fight to keep the relationship one day we drove out to winner isn't a nice waterside restaurant she was making snide comments the entire day you know with your next girlfriend you should hold her hand more things like that while we went to my uncle's place who lived on a house on the water and we were gonna grabbed food for dinner we park the car and she goes we should just split let's have dinner with your uncle and then we take a break for some reason I got mad that she wanted to break up with me then eat dinner with my uncle who is my godfather and one of my favorite people in the world I told her that she doesn't get the privilege of meeting with him and drove home that night ended it myself she tried to get me back and I said no we lived together he told me that if the house wasn't spotless when he got home that he would get rid of one of my pets so choose one now he had a breakdown and I dedicated everything into helping him recover walked on eggshells around him for over a year et Cie and once he felt better he was angry that I had ended up depressed because of all that and wasn't doing as good a job with household staff I didn't have an unreasonable number pets I had two cats a frog and an aquarium with some fish I use the caps as my emotional support and the aquarium as my stress relief he decided that they were the reason that I wasn't keeping things perfectly spotless so he was going to eliminate them one by one until I was back to normal and keeping everything clean having dinner on the table when he got home etc kept buying / using Ben's us behind my back after he would be clean for months and doing well just to ruin it again has a history with abusing heroin and xanax told him he had one more chance and he blew it by accompanying me to my family function on the fourth of July which was a three-hour drive under the influence didn't know he took anything till we were thirty minutes away and I recognized his weird word slurring / mumbling and drowsiness he was supposed to drive the second half of the way and even got mad at me for not letting him drive as he was tipping out every five minutes in the seat next to me he's very scary and creepy under the influence of those kinds of drugs and every time he got higher genuinely gave the illusion that he was possessed and the person I know him to be was temporarily absent / suppressed addiction is scary and it sucks he was always spending time playing video games with his internet friends while I sat around bored at his place doing nothing or at my place doing nothing I made the first friend of my own a tear the first friend I'd made in a while and suddenly he was jealous and he never spent time with me and I wasn't allowed to have friends and he had to look through my phone and read our texts cause I could be talking bad about him or cheating no after over a year of being ignored and put on the back burner I was done this is the same guy that I gave a second chance to after he cheated on me and the same guy that was unemployed for two years while I supported us after he got fired for being lazy and was always late I did way too much compromising and wasted five years of my life on him here is one from 2014 I was dating a beautiful man from Trinidad for a few months things were going great and he was saying all the right long-term things he invited me to a camp out in the brutal Texas summer with people he knew he couldn't be bothered to organize anything or bring any supplies or food so I did I'm a perpetual over planner and I didn't mind carrying the responsibility over his birthday weekend I put up the tent and brought coolers of groceries he tells me that because it was his birthday weekend he didn't want to hang around our camp all weekend but wanted to flit about and be social disappointed I said okay before he left I told him I wanted to cook him a birthday dinner that night he waved me off and left I started preparing dinner and needed to buy more ice while standing in line to buy ice bags I see him in the swimming pool with some random topless chick with her legs wrapped around him I walked over made eye contact and just shook my head at him before I walked away back at our camp I paused for two minutes and asked myself if I was overreacting no way I thought I packed up the tent and put all the coolers in my car I drove away less than 24 hours into what was supposed to be a four-day campout no idea how he managed the rest of the time but it was no longer my problem this was one of the last straws of many but during the summer I usually pick up a lot of slack in our family business by working in our woodshop it was a Saturday in July and we were swamped with work had a deadline to meet and one or two of my employees didn't come in my ex used to occasionally work with us to pick up some money and since he was scraping by and on summer break from college I asked him if he wants to spend the day with me in the shop and make some money at this time I was paying for literally everything he says no I just want to stay home and play some video games I work 12 hours a day in the humidity lifting heavy ass [ __ ] when with his help it cold been like 10 I got raised by my uncle's for having a [ __ ] the boyfriend all day and then to top it all off at the end of the day he says well are you gonna come over I want to have sex and I'm kinda hungry [ __ ] you Steve in college over summer break my girlfriend of about a year worked at a camp in New York while I was an MD at my own job distance got hard what with us being soo apart but she started really drifting away not answering simple are you doing okay texts for days never calling or asking how I was real abnormal behaviors for her she blamed it on bad internet being out in the woods at camp and all that I could regularly get through with another friend at the camp so I knew she was bullshitting me out of nowhere she calls and asks to talk I figured she'd called to leave me but instead she tells me she likes this other guy at camp but still wants to date me and that she just wanted to let me know she might pursue it while we are apart after about a year of the barring me from talking to anyone else but her and suddenly asking my permission to pursue another man on the side I ended it then and there found out from my friend at Camp she burned all of the things I'd given slash loaned her including about $50 of books books his behavior got increasingly bizarre for instance he would pop up at random places he knew I would be without telling me like I'd mentioned I was picking up food at a restaurant on my way home we never lived together thank God and I'd walk in to find him sitting there he'd throw a tantrum any time he knew I was spending time with friends or family without him if I hosted a girls night he'd insist on staying so he could say hi if I was on the phone in front of him he'd yell laugh really loud or dance around to get my attention he was 25 at the time he started wearing a wedding band when we were never married or engaged at this point in our relationship I actually hated his guts but the last straw was when he kept shooting [ __ ] he was trying to a job in law enforcement and part of that required weapons training he failed when he shot at the floor near his colleagues foot then he took the gun back to his place which was his friend's basement where he cleaned it while loaded and shot up the walls he kicked him out and I refused to let that madness in my place so long story short he had to go for good edit two years after our breakup he called me from an unknown number to ask me to be a job reference he was applying to a law enforcement program in another state I said no we were doing the long-distance thing both living out of our home state he went home for a few weeks so I drove 12 hours to surprise him called him that afternoon to see if he'd like to hang out and he claimed he had to go to his niece's soccer game first time he'd ever mentioned going to one of her games not like it was a habit or that he regularly spent time with her family okay no problem I'll catch up with other friends asked if he'd like to get together tomorrow nope he has to go mattress shopping with his mom he didn't sound the least bit interested / excited that I was home after that second excuse it all just hit me like a ton of bricks we hadn't seen each other in months phone calls had been getting sporadic and boring and I honestly hadn't felt anything real for him in a couple years broke up with him over email cause I'm a chicken who hates confrontation woke up the next morning feeling absolutely incredible never looked back he came home drunk and couldn't get inside thought I'd locked him out started banging on the door neighbors threatened to call the cops I was asleep and the noise woke me up so I came to open the door and let him in turn to walk back to bed and he shoved me hard on the floor I landed hard on my right hip elbow and head he then stood over me screaming that because I locked him out he had to be loud and now everyone is going to think we are trash I said nothing just covered my head with my arms and cried and hoped he went away I was terrified he was going to kick me in the face he finally stormed off and I crawled out to the elevator and went down and had the night doorman call the police he came looking for me in the lobby just as the cops arrived they made him leave and discourse at him elsewhere that's the last time I saw him I left later that morning before he returned he had never ever laid a hand on me before but was becoming more emotionally abusive that I was becoming wise to it and standing up for myself I think that's why he did it he was mad he couldn't manipulate me anymore long story but here we go he was depressed I don't know if he had been since before we met or that it started during he had a troublesome relationship with his family was never accepted etc I didn't quite fit in and that didn't help they treated him like [ __ ] but they all clicked together so they were never the ones to blame an example they went on family holiday every year all together my ex was extremely allergic to animals pine trees Christmas trees basically any animal or plant with floof on top of that he had severe asthma to worsen any allergy attack every year they went to the mountains with pine trees galore every year his brother his sister and his aunt refused to put their dogs in a kennel resulting in him having severe allergies for an entire week from having three dogs around on top of that they all smoked indoors and when asked to please go outside they said he could also just go outside I tried to mend it but it was like beating a concrete wall after a year his mom's cancer returned that was when his depression kicked in or revealed itself or something his grades went down he dropped out in his final year of college stopped showering didn't take care of himself anymore the only thing he did all day was play games on his PC at that point I was studying to become a paralegal worked on the weekends and did all the housework because he said the doing our finances and working a shitty job was more than enough to balance it all out it bothered me that I chosen him and love for me is the classic for better or worse anyway at some point we started fighting more often he would get furious with me in an unreasonable way to the point where I questioned my sanity right before Christmas we got a message in the family group chat about the annual mandatory Christmas dinner it had be hosted by his niece and her boyfriend and they just put a new floor in they told me I wasn't allowed to wear heels because it would damage the floor now I'm a Carrie Bradshaw type of girl matching her outfits and wearing high heels exclusively I responded by telling them that I would gladly leave my shoes at the door if the dogs would stay at home and the Christmas tree would be plastic they all ignored the message but my ex called me up he ranted and raved he told me I was being stupid that I was only trying to cause a riot for my own little fun and laughter that I had never been there for him I was only out to give him a hard time I had been waiting hoping for five years that the man I fell in love with would someday come back from that cloud of depression in that moment I knew that would never happen I remember thinking those words created a wound that could never be mended for me the relationship was over at that moment i sat through the Christmas dinner barefoot silently saying goodbye to all of them because I knew it had be the last time I'd see them this was the last straw in a giant pile but when he stayed home from work because he was sick he had a head cold he was just a huge baby anytime he didn't feel 100% on my days off I worked weekends so I always had my days off in the middle of the week he worked a regular Monday Friday and I loved having the house to myself on those days he camped out in the living room in the dark and demanded complete silence unless it was broken by him complaining wouldn't move into the bedroom or a guest room so I was just wandering around the house being bored as hell because I couldn't do any chores or even watch TV I ended up going for a walk just to get away from him and I realized I did not want to go back to that house I also realized I felt like that whenever he was home sick or not I couldn't stand to be around him I still took a couple days to really think about it before telling him I wanted a divorce but that was my breaking point she gambled 10k plus behind my back over about a year we share finances and I didn't really pay attention I just knew we were never getting ahead and saving any money I wondered how our friends who made similar money could have food kids houses 3x as big and vacations I felt worthless and that everything I'd worked for wasn't good enough because we were still always broke this went on for years and realistically probably much more than 10k that's just where I stopped adding it up and ended it worst part is it's two years later and I still love her and would do anything to get her back even though her gambling got even worse and now she's tens of thousands in debt every time I try to help her she gets angry and defensive and says all I care about is money I just don't want to live paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life I've dated other girls and they are all great but they are not her I moved to a new state to go to school which obviously complicated an already strained relationship we'd been together for three years and I told him I didn't want to get married until after college I didn't want to distract myself from school because I moved he insisted on marriage to keep me faithful to him but he was unwilling to move with me he had an amazing career as an auto mechanic at tiny shop and prioritized that over my education and goal of attending law school I declined the proposal and ended the relationship a week later it's been six months since then and he still refuses to mail me mize barks a side note his mother and I could hardly stand each other due to differences in religious faiths so I'm so glad to be her judgement when his depression read excuse to be controlling and manipulative started and fueled my own anxiety and depression after several months of living together being the sole money earner he had four jobs in six months the longest he lasted was two weeks the shortest was a day after putting through his paperwork in a flat I could barely afford that he specifically wanted I tried to cut myself he helped get me to a hospital promising to do anything he could to help me all he ever did was say what he would slash could do never actually put anything into action but refused to get help for his own issues until I had got better I saw two psychiatrists who listened to my whole story then basically asked why the hell I was still with this guy the line that stood out was this person's own unhappiness is making you want to kill yourself that's not right after that I took a day away from him and realized what they were saying was true and that for either of us to try get better we needed to separate completely and work on ourselves as individuals it hurt a shit-ton but now I can look back and see all sorts of signs of emotional abuse and emotional blackmail and everyone I know is so happy I've been able to step away from this on my own I met my husband when I was 16 pregnant at 17 with the first and married a month after she was born and I turned 18 had two more kids over the course of a 14-year relationship many many many times I caught him behind my back talking to other women not just as friends including his ex-wife who he planned on leaving me for at one point when my youngest was still a baby and lied to my face about it there were so many women though there was also the manipulation the emotional abuse the gaslighting I didn't see any of it because I was stupid and loved him but I think the last straw was when I landed myself a week-long stay in the hospital for an overdose I have borderline personality disorder not an excuse just for clarification I had found out he'd go and spent the day with another married woman and lied to me about it the entire week I was in the hospital nearly died wasn't waking up and then the following couple weeks I spent in the psych facility he was shacking up with this other woman never bothered to come visit me and it still took me another two years to leave because I loved him because it was for the kids I dealt with his alcoholism for those two years repeatedly checks himself into a local mental facility went to the hospital numerous times one of which he was so drunk it took nearly 24 hours for his blood alcohol level to come down enough to be allowed to be admitted into the mental hospital and another time he punched a cop in the face and spent the night in jail I never was able to trust him again after the hospital incident and I couldn't move past it and eventually I just had enough of all of it therapy didn't help medication didn't help I finally figured out that the best thing for the kids is to see their mom happy not always stressed out and depressed and so riddled with anxiety that I couldn't get out of bed some days I'm still dealing with some custody issues and a lot of stuff I won't put here and waiting for the divorce to be settled but eventually things are gonna get better GF of five years that I met in college at a house party I was throwing after my band played we hit a few rough patches particularly the semester before she graduated I was a year older as graduated a semester before as I did an extra semester to get a minor we took a long break because she was planning on going to Italy for a year starting the summer after graduation and she wasn't sure she wanted to stay together after we decided like a year prior we'd stay together when she went overseas and so continued our relationship after the semester and graduation beginning of summer decides she wants to stay together after all we live together over the summer than she leaves after she gets back she moves in with me and I get her a job where I work an inpatient psychiatric facility for children the job is very difficult into most demanding so support from who you work with is a must she ly hits it off with her coworkers we worked on different units I support her and hanging out with them and going out it's important to have rapport with co-workers in this job and obviously want her to be happy and have friends DUP we both work 2 to 10 p.m. at this time going out was no big deal but she eventually starts going out with him like every night I get a job promotion to an office job 8:00 to 5:00 and she's sometimes not even home from being out the night before when I leave for work I kick her out of the house but we stay together I said some boundaries reminded her I was there when she decided after our break in college that she wanted to get back together right before leaving through a year which I also waited for her during and supported her she comes back and blows off set plans we have to go out with her friends and completely disrespects me my schedule and my requests you swear she'll do better and change a few months go by with a few slip-ups but nothing crazy then my birthday comes around and we have plans to do lunch before I have a day drinking party with my friends she's an hour late to lunch because she is dropping all these people off she was partying with the night before at their home slash cars even though they didn't really need rides uber she hadn't slept since the night before and she shows up to lunch with the clothes she changed into the night before after work to go out as I said about our late making me late to my own [ __ ] birthday party with my friends I went on a two-week vacation that next day with my dad came back and broke up with her she was either so [ __ ] oblivious self-absorbed or both I'm pretty sure it was both so I was with this girl who was a mother I met in college for a good year it was a fantastic relationship and I was really happy I trusted her a lot and we had a lot in common I felt we had a healthy relationship if we had an issue we'd always bring it up she forgot to mention the issue of her sleeping with her romanian friend who was 10 years older than me and married I guess she met halfway by introducing us a few times and saying how great a friend he was for 3 to 4 months before I found out I'm not upset though about losing her anymore know what makes it hard to sleep at night is her 4 year old son loved me and never knew his father I was the closest to a dad he's had her family loved me just based on how well I treated that boy he didn't know what a dad was and when he wanted to have one he wanted it to be me and I feel like [ __ ] because once she left me she said I'd still be able to see him yet she started ghosting me the next day and said stay away what bothers me as he loved me unconditionally and I wish I could show him I tried to be there for him his mom probably told him I didn't want to be around them anymore and every time I think about it it kills me inside thank you so much for watching the whole video please leave a like and subscribe

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Keywords: high school, reddit stories, reddit

Id: IlkIvIsOIOA

Length: 29min 46sec (1786 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 15 2019