People REALIZE Their Significant Other is CHEATING on Them (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit how did you find out your s Oh was cheating on you dated for two years until one day out of the blue she says she's not happy anymore and breaks up with me it sucked that I figured it was for the best if she wasn't happy about a week after we had broken up I saw her at the bar with some guy who she sheepishly admitted she was on a date with later that night I end up standing next to him ordering drinks he apologized to me for the awkwardness yarrr it's just weird since we've only been broken up for a few days and she's already dating he pauses a few days she and I have been seeing each other for like three months now we stared at each other for second and then my ex comes running up tipple him away from me he shrugged her off and told her to go [ __ ] herself and then left the bar that's how I found out my ex had been cheating on me for three months before apparently guilt took hold and she broke up with me update I bumped into the other guy a few months later at a bar and we actually talked about it it was weird hearing about it from his perspective in his mind he had thought she was just really flaky but after speaking to me it just all clicked for him and we went through some of the times when he couldn't reach her because she was with me and vice-versa not sure how I didn't pick up on it by the way I'm happily married now and I think she had to move home and live with her mom I already was suspicious for a few months that something was going on with a new cow walker but she always said I was just jealous and there was nothing to worry about one night she told me she is going out with a bunch of Cal hawkers including him I don't like the idea that I can't force her to not go so I watched her shave her whole body put her best clothes on and some perfume she never used perfume she had bought it recently I wait for her drowning my thoughts in vodka all night she doesn't come home until 4:00 in the morning when I finally fall asleep when I wake up the next day she acts like nothing happens I decide to believe her and let it go fast-forward three days later I'm at an important convention for work in Turkey Walker's wife calls me in tears because a friend of hers had seen them in a bar fully getting it on I call my gf and she just says she doesn't know what to tell me turns out it was a date not a get together with all her coworkers so I'm completely falling apart of this venue trying desperately to hold myself together until I can excuse myself and cry hysterically behind the building the cow Walker's wife was a childhood friend of my gf and the two had just married a few weeks ago in Vegas and all her parents paid for everything I was together with my gf for almost eight years at that point the cheetahs are now happy together and have a family I still hope that one day one of them will cheat on the other and they have a dirty divorce I will celebrate with champagne when the day comes edit typo edit you think it's safe to post on reddit cause none of your friends are on it until an online magazine they all including your eggs read posts it on their front page guess I'm gonna think twice before posting something here now D thanks not just kept being a good boyfriend until she felt guilty and told me I never suspected it at least she had some conscience because she could have had her cake and ate it too could have strung me along for years and I would have been none the wiser I loved her I thought she was the woman I could spend the rest of my life with took me four years of being single before I was able to trust anyone after that I was so oblivious the last time that after it happened I hugely overcompensated questioning every odd plan made and etc I'm kind of glad in a way that I waited four years because it taught me that being okay with being alone or single is incredibly valuable and I've noticed more and more people since then that can't be alone I used to be a guy that would let girls walk all over me just to keep peace happy wife happy life style but now while I still compromise and give freely I don't take bull [ __ ] from anyone because I'm not afraid to be by myself he gave me all his passwords when we first moved in I didn't want them but he insisted on it and then he'd start asking me to answer some emails from time to time because it was stuff he didn't want to deal with so I guess I was like his secretary anyway once he was away on business and I decided to check his email found all kinds of Craigslist hookup replies he was trying to hook up with someone while he was out of town I confronted him when he got home and he had the nerve to say I should feel sorry for him because it turned out none of them were real women just webcam sites and stuff so he didn't get laid he was jealous because if I posted on Craigslist as a woman I'd have my pick of guys what a winner left her Fassa book logged in on my phone and I woke up to a lot of messages from the guy it was supposed to be a trip to see her family this was three days ago edit thanks everyone for the kind wishes I should clarify this is my wife and we've been married for less than a year the upside is we have separate property and nothing joined I have taken this as a learning experience it sucks don't get me wrong but I guess you could say I've grown up a lot from this there was a quote another user showed me that really stuck out to me red flags look normal when you're wearing rose-colored glasses there was a lot of sketchy things going on and because of this I was sure I had to leave for my own mental health as well as because I can't trust her but to anyone else going through this stay strong it gets better I'm in a new town with literally zero friends here and I'm still finding a way to move on one step one day at a time feel free to message me anyone if you want to talk not just about this but about anything life can feel very lonely especially when people have chosen sides on this stay strong all I believe in you edit edit I am slowly working through my inbox because I really do want a chance to say hi to everyone that messaged me so also thank you thank you thank you for messaging me it really does make things seem less lonely and I appreciate every one of you my coworker told me he saw her being carried to her car at 4:00 a.m. by another co-worker of mine she left this part of the story out when she stumbled home drunk that night confronted her she confessed they made out fast forward to present day and I'm still trying to recover from what she did to me after this kiss she kept going with him and eventually [ __ ] him twice she told me both times I literally had to walk into my apartment one day to find her in bed with him I quit my job we all work together and we broke up finally that was three months ago I'm still [ __ ] up she was my best friend and all of a sudden set out to destroy me first time her friend didn't outright tell me but hinted very strongly at the time my now ex-wife and I lived in a bad area so we had set up security cameras she didn't think I had any reason to check them or maybe just forgot they were there either way caught on camera I gave her two months to come clean the first I didn't say anything and the second I did what I could to try to guilt her into telling me to this day even with the evidence and the kid conceived while we were together she still won't admit it second time different girl we were already having issues so she went to stay with her friend gave her the benefit of the doubt but when she came back I saw texts from the other guy four and eight years later they are both still trying to fix things never gonna happen got an email from my friend's husband he introduced himself to me in these words we haven't met yet but I'm the man who caught your husband with his tongue down asterisk asterisk asterisk s throat and his hands all over her my friend my husband he denied it and tried to pretend nothing ever happened nor could it ever happen she admitted it straight away wasn't apologetic though because drunken slobbers happen when he finally admitted turns out they were full-on making out outside a house we have nosy neighbors as well as outside her house and that this wasn't the first time I am still trying to decide if it was just a kisses enough or if it completely negates seven years I hope that for the rest of her life she only shits hedgehogs because friends don't do that to friends I was married for about six months and something just wasn't right finally one day her and I were driving in her car to her parents for an event and once I got there I dropped her off and said I wasn't feeling well that I was going to go back home instead of staying on my way home I stopped at her grocery store parking lot and tore her car apart finally found a cell phone hidden behind the trunk liner turned it on and read the text messages all of the texts she sent to her boss saying she missed him and that she was on her way ATC coincided with all of the times she said she was meeting her girlfriends for lunch or something it was a phone he bought for her I called the number and he was surprised it was me her husband on the other end I chewed him out and he played dumb I explained he can keep her I'm done I called the wife from the same phone and told her I found her phone don't bother coming home it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders what I suspected for months was finally confirmed I wasn't crazy I went to lammott and bought new deadbolts for the house it turns out she had been sleeping with her boss for at least six months prior to our wedding as well I'm like why even marry me then I don't get it man I wish I had access to GPS tracker back then like we do now that would have made things so much easier B would have been much better to confront them at his house or at a motel etcetera oh well once we separated and I'd filed for divorce her maid of honor that was in our wedding reached out to me and next thing I know we are having drinks and began to date shortly thereafter the soon-to-be ex-wife hated that bonus she started going on friend dates with him and all her friends agreed that was normal one friend date ended with her at his place I was obviously mad so I checked her phone a lot and behold she was [ __ ] him but it gets worse we break up and she begs for me to get back together with her with her and I do cause I still love this girl things get worse and worse and we finally take another break where I am gonna just ended she tries to get back together with me again but before we talk about it I texted the guy who I caught sleeping with her to see what really went on he then provided me proof that she had been sleeping with other guys throughout our entire relationship which she had provided for him since he felt uncomfortable with her trying to bang him so the guy who I hated the most in my life ended up saving me from making the worst decision of my life by staying with her nothing has ever felt so [ __ ] to me but I know things will get better luckily I managed to prove what she did to our mutual friend group and she has been struggling to find friends since fatah she had two girls prior to our relationship which were a three year old and one year old when we got together after being together for a year we had our son she stopped working to do the stay-at-home one thing which was fine I was able to take care of us until the kids would go to school then she could work again if she wanted four years later the girls are in school and she wants to work again we find a Denker for our son and she goes back to work about three months after she started working she tells me her and a friend I knew were going shopping for school clothes for the kids but my spit a census went CodeRed I never been suspicious of her at all before I didn't even know her phone password but I watched her unlock it over her shoulder later that night and got it the next morning before I leave for work I'm usually the first one awake in the house I check her phone and see she'd spent the day with her boss at his house I confront her about it and she claims nothing happened and they just hung out we fight about it all day and I even came home from work because I couldn't keep it together still not knowing how I wanted to proceed I sleep on it till the next day I ended up getting her phone again later that day after she'd told him I found out ECC and based on their conversation I don't think it got physical but there was definitely something and the want to was there at least on her part he was also in a relationship of his own doing more detective work I noticed she'd shaved everything prior to going meet him which she never did and I couldn't deal even if nothing happened that day I knew where her mind was and I've never been so distraught in my life everything I thought I could count on in life was gone my biggest motivation to get up every day and strive for what we wanted in life was gone we had plans to move to another state in the near future just my entire foundation was shattered she was my best friend and the person I thought I could rely on through everything and that's what I gave to her but that's what I got in return I couldn't sleep couldn't go thirty minutes without a crying episode even at work food I love didn't taste good I could barely eat and lost about 30 pounds people telling me I looked sick I think for a brief while I literally lost the will to live my kids were the only thing that got me through that time even to this day it still hurts though I couldn't even type this without tearing up I told her the day she left my house he doesn't really want you or the kids you forget he also had a relationship you'll both side pieces and you think this will last you're giving up everything for nothing and when he leaves you and you realize you [ __ ] up it'll be too late and I'll have moved on and that's exactly what happened fast forward three months and they are supposed to be moving in together he goes total ghost mode honor and never speaks to her again not two weeks after that she's telling me she [ __ ] up and wants her family back that was three weeks ago still don't know what to do going forward after a year and a half of marriage to a lovely caring partner she suddenly stopped being loving went to South Africa to see her mom little contact ended up staying for six weeks instead of two came back furious at me for panicking because she never wanted to talk to me and wouldn't tell me what was going on she announced she was going to spend six months in South Africa because we were having troubles and her mum wasn't well insisted that I must support her financially the whole time we argued about this that she would not budge I decided to wait and see before I gave her anything she left I hacked into her blackberry found hundreds of texts emails and photos showing she had been planning this with a guy an ex over there for months also found texts and messages to and from another one of her exes arranging hookups going back over a year including while this went on there was more but I couldn't take going through them all gave it all to a divorce lawyer and then the mask really dropped her real personality came out she came back blamed me for everything because I was jealous total projection of course insisting I go for counseling saying I had crossed the line she tried to totally break me make me submit and let her do everything openly that she did in secret before I threw her out but had to call the police on her when she broke into my house I wasn't the best husband that I was a good one and I really tried to make our marriage perfect I did so much soul-searching to try to see what I had done to deserve this but I told her to go to hell and one very expensive divorce later I was finally free his uber receipts didn't match with the activities he said he was doing he said he went to see movie but his receipt said that he went checking into a hotel I told him I know he cheated on me but he doesn't know how until today how I know he asked for my forgiveness and we stayed for six months but it didn't work out because he acted like he is entitled to my trust since he already asked for forgiveness and didn't understand recovery takes time he also tried to turn the table on me regarding the trust issues I couldn't take it anymore so I ended things with him abruptly and block him everywhere after a month I saw him yesterday with another girl and I turn around walked off I do not want to engage with him in any situation some days has been a struggle some days has been quite a breeze most importantly I don't have to listen to his problems and support him anymore what I know is he still haven't get a job until today point I hope karma will serve him well soon and he gets to understand and feel the same pain he has inflicted on me I never ever cheated in my life and won't do to someone cuz I know how awful it feels I feel really unclean with myself sometimes especially after the fact he slept with me the next day after his one-night stand had a weird moment where I wanted to play a game on her phone while she wanted to sleep and she kind of wrestled the phone away from me and didn't let me use it a bit of a red flag but I let it slip by a few weeks later we were on vacation and she was basically texting and hiding her phone from me with every change she got confronted her about what was going on and she told me she was texting with a guy from her new workplace but I shouldn't worry about it saw it as another red flag but let it go again first day after we got back from our trip she said she wanted to go out with her colleagues for some drinks something she'd never done before and told her to go out and have some fun she came home with her makeup smeared a bit on her face and ran to the bathroom to brush her teeth immediately I was getting really suspicious this point and installed a sort of a key lever on her laptop and basically found out she stared going out with a work colleague she told me not to worry about ended it the next day five years down the drain by trying to have a friendly conversation with her now boyfriend we were friendly acquaintances at the time was asking him how things were and he mentioned if handedly that he and my ex had been dating for three weeks furious at my discovery I called my ex immediately to get the closure I deserved lacking any form of compassion for a man who just had his heart ripped out he advised me not to do it because she had a big exam the next day to which I said no [ __ ] that when I had a big exam she kept me up all night saying she was going to kill herself he then proceeded to call me a child for not waiting for her to complete her exam before calling her to talk about it and that I was getting too upset her trade tanked and they both blamed me for causing her emotional distress to top it all off this was about a week after we had a big fight where she essentially told me that I wasn't good enough for her anymore oh the irony edit since this post got bigger than I ever expected it to I'd like to clarify that the parts where he called me a child she told me her grade had tanked they blamed me for it we're all told to me by my ex-girlfriend whether these statements are true or not is not something I have the answer to this is just my understanding of the event I apologize to the person in question and they are welcome to message me privately so we can work it out my ex left her laptop at my apartment she kind of moved in my flat because it was bigger than hers and I needed to use it to transfer photos to my website so I downloaded photos from my Dropbox and went in the download folder to see there was some MSN Messenger logs saved in another folder I wanted not to do that but checked anyway and saw a couple of conversations with a guy that turned quite kinky my heart was beating like hell especially when I saw the date was three months after I met her I confronted her in the middle of a restaurant later on so she was trapped and had to tell me and she said it was just text and nothing happened my damn self believed her and forgot about it until few months later she kindly informed me that I had to do a rest ID check because she could have transmitted something there I was at hospital standing with my pants down while an old doctor was checking my penis with a magnifying glass luckily I was safe his best friend's wife told me accidentally because my ex-husband failed to get his story straight with his buddy / scapegoat then after the divorce was final he admitted it in a ploy to get me back XH told me he had been working late then met his buddy for drinks I talked about his wife we were friends I was oblivious I didn't go out hunting for info that weekend at a dinner party and she mentioned a big decision they'd spent the evening discussing the same night XH was supposedly out drinking with him it's really that dumb because he could have just said he worked even later and had a bear at work or when he got home before me and I'd have been none the wiser after the divorce I found out he'd been with Mariah for months and had managed to keep it from all his friends his friends only found out about her when he dumped her to try to call off the divorce but I was long gone by then moved four states away and started a new life and he cried to his friends when his stunts didn't work out and now he'd lost us both if I'd been smarter I'd have known W aaay sooner because he had [ __ ] up and spilled the beans himself early on after he started seeing her and blew it off as a joke about his other life that's how low I was out with Mariah hahaha became a joke in our soon-to-be short-lived marriage the joke seemed plausible as just a joke and funny at the time because we live together work together had the same friends and spent most of our time together or so it seemed so when could he have actually found the time to cheat but he did the worst part of it all at least that part is that I'm poly and would have been fine with Mariah if he'd been honest with me about her I was having medical issues so his physical needs weren't being met and instead of talking to me about it like an adult and working it out he cheated and lied and then divorced me when his own guilt overwhelmed him we had other issues in our marriage and I'm glad it ended the way it did and when it did turned out to be the best thing he ever did for me but it was all just so dumb and immature she checked her email on my laptop closed it then we went to her place for lunch when we get near her place we find that it's been destroyed because the apartment above hers had a fire and it decimated her place too most of her stuff is gone fortunately she had renter's insurance I spend the next 24 plus hours helping her piece what she can of her life together after this traumatic event including helping set her up at a hotel and buying some underwear and other essentials to get her through the next few days I finally go home exhausted as [ __ ] after all that opened my laptop and she left her email account open to an email thread with him about how much she loved him and how she wishes he loved her and how they shouldn't be doing this because she loves me too and it's pointless because he lives in another country and they shouldn't have had sex when she was on vacation while I was at home but really she longs for him it's the first [ __ ] thing on my screen when I opened my laptop her friends all told her I was a bad boyfriend because I didn't allow her to follow her heart and have both me and this other guy at once I got a call from the sheriff looking for him he cheated on me with a girl who was well known for crying wolf with rape charges she used to be my friend and openly admitted doing it to get guys in trouble which is about the time we stopped being friends he had slept with her but the only way he would admit it to the sheriff is if I said I wouldn't believe him at the time I didn't believe he raped her but now I'm not so sure kind of feel bad but there's no way to know what really happened as she's still quite the pathological liar I broke up with him like two weeks after that for other reasons he told me he was going to drive his truck into some propane tanks I told him to buy a gun so he didn't hurt anyone or overdose would be better this was 13 years ago and three years ago he got into a scuffle with the cops and shot himself when they wouldn't shoot him idiot he told me it was an emotional cheating situation where they amend his xgf had cheated on him in a similar way met up a couple times to get coffee and then would text and use snapchat so their conversations were hidden this occurred for about two months he says he didn't touch her and that the whole thing ended when she had been sending him underwear pictures he replied back with three of his own pictures and then proceeded to block her on snapchat the next day this whole thing took place about six months ago I had no idea he ended it on his own no indication that something was going on he told me because we were discussing marriage seriously and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and couldn't make that vow while holding on to this secret honestly I wish he wouldn't have told me since it was minor in the grand scheme of things I want to work through this with him he did everything right when one-sheets told me the truth on his own accord was extremely remorseful said he would do anything to make this work is gonna go to individual and couples therapy wants to change and figure out what to do if this happens again accepts told blame said it was for his own selfish desires and validation gave me total access to all accounts and records in Ward net doesn't blame that he was usually drunk when they would communication but wants to cut down on drinking he's a lot more open now and in a really weird way I think this has made us stronger and more communicative yarid hurts like hell sometimes but when we were discussing marriage the night he told me I said I felt like we could handle anything that was thrown at us and I think this situation applies I know I might be naive that I feel like he's worth it living together for about a year things aren't going too well talked about it she wasn't as interested etcetera she has been staying up all night with new friends spending a lot of time specifically with one all online they have plans to hang out with the cool Jude I had no problems with it I had accompanied in a schedule that night she decided not to go they didn't plan it around the dinner dates kept moving around I was having liver issues the little bean levels through the roof eyes turning yellow sick as hell so I left the dinner early got home and they were out eating already had been suspicious up to this point receipt for condoms in the trash bed made she thought she had ended it via text by saying I don't want to waste your time to which I responded she wasn't as long as she didn't know what she wanted clearly she didn't know what she wanted it all worked out in the end though I'm not happy with what happened but what happened put me where I'm now never been happier in a relationship last I heard she moved in with him as well so I assume things are still going well for them logged on to the game we both played rune escape you could join Simone's chat which was their username a clan sort of thing if I remember correctly there was someone in there that I didn't recognize asked who they were they said her boyfriend I said I was her boyfriend I was in school with her and he was a few hours away turned out she was visiting him and spending the rest of the time with me flat out denied it to my face and on the phone and got angry at me and tried to make me feel guilty about it he then sent me screenshots of chats they had between each other in the end she still kept saying flat out it wasn't true so I ended it they have been together ever since it's been about six to eight years I guess good for them thank you so much for watching the entire video I would be so grateful if you could like this video and subscribe to the channel new videos every day

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Keywords: high school, reddit stories, reddit

Id: -UhQOWaHr9Q

Length: 30min 45sec (1845 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 04 2019