What Did Your SO Hide From You Until Later In The Relationship? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

what is one thing you're so hid from you until later in the relationship I just found out that he's scared of snails and slugs after almost 13 years of marriage my GF swoops her hair over her left eye I thought it was just an emo hairstyle until I found out she was blind in one eye he actually bought his favorite sweatshirt from Walmart at first he told me Costco cause he thought it made him sound a little classier one of my exes waited months to tell me that her godparents that she lived with were actually her ex-boyfriends parents I actually didn't mind it until he moved back in my now husband acted like he knew how to grill steaks and just casually grabbed steaks and asked me how I liked mine and then made perfect steaks then continued making perfect steaks for months then years and I just learned a month or so ago that the first time he made steaks for me was the first time he made steaks in his life he'd just studied intensely because he felt that I would be impressed by him making me a good steak I thought he had been making steaks for years to throw down a perfect steak like it was no big thing but it turned out he did the ton of research and was sweating bullets trying to get it right he's the best he didn't really hide it but I never knew the story of how his first wife passed away until we were engaged I only knew that she had CF and that she died too soon I didn't know that he came home from work found her passed out and blue and rushed her to the hospital himself where she later died he told me about it one evening when we were sitting in front of the Christmas tree the whole story came pouring out of him and I just hugged him and listened his mother died six months after his first wife passed away and to hear him tell it it nearly broke him I think it healed his heart a little to talk about it and I know that it made me love him even more somehow I'm just grateful that he was willing to open his heart up to love again he is an awesome man in the best thing that has ever happened to me edit thank you for the gold kind stranger this one is for dead hair for Debbie and for me my gf now wife and I had been living together for two years before I told her I watched Star Trek I was worried she would think I was too nerdy it was the early 90s I had a VCR at my parents house and I would have dinner with them once a week and then watch the latest episode of the next generation it all came out one week when my gf and I were both over for dinner we were getting ready to leave when my mom says aren't you going to watch Trek first it was all out in the open my GF immediately felt bad for me saying she would never have judged me for watching Trek she even watched a few episodes with me I had on VHS at my parents home she liked it and thought the stories and themes were good trying to assuage my fears further a few months later she surprised me with tickets for both of us to a Star Trek convention that was coming to town so we went after about 30 minutes walking around the corn seeing autograph booths vendors and cosplayers she leaned into me and whispered lovingly in my ear you were right not to tell me Maya so didn't reveal until much later that a sizeable inheritance came with the relationship it was a wonderful surprise especially because we were secure financially without it that he hates sheeps about four years into the relationship he proclaimed that sheets wrap around him when he sleeps and he refuses to use them anymore apparently he's always hated sheets but just never mentioned it he could do magic tricks we were together for 13 years and one day he pulls out a deck of cards and says pick a card any card duhkha got my card and everything just as smooth as can be never did it again he can sing beautifully we had been together for two years before I heard him actually sing he would belt out random lyrics in the car with me in a fun playful not serious way all the time the first time I heard him actually feel it I was blown away he has such a deep soulful voice hug love him not me but my parents my mom told me a few years ago that on their first date they went out for pizza my mom's favorite is ham and pineapple and my dad says great I love pineapple on pizza fast forward years and years of my dad eating ham and pineapple he finally confesses that he hates it he actually ate a TS pizza for 20 years instead of just admitting that he hates it this was one of her life lessons for me when I started dating my friend is dating a farmer no they didn't meet on farmerson Lacombe they didn't meet online though anywho they've been dating for five months at this time and he refuses to take her to his town and meet his family because he's had a lot of girls date him for what he owns she waited a year and had no problems and he finally brought her to his town and house and his family is a multimillionaire family they owned like 15 farms across the u.s. their houses are ducting mansion she was super scared to be in the relationship after that they're still dating but she tried to buy her own things and not depend on him and his money he liked to punch walls and himself when angry until we were married our disagreements were always discussions sometimes heated sometimes angry but never violent and always worked out to a solution in the end it was great it was the way adults should argue the first fight after the wedding he put his fist through the wall of our rented apartment he also slammed his head into the bathroom door why the change I've been holding back my anger but now they've been married I know you can deal with the real me up until then he'd been way more angry and violent than I'd known about but had hidden a during fights so I wouldn't leave yeah we're not married anymore for many reasons but one of them being that I never ever felt safe to disagree with him after that that she enjoy at 6:00 with men who were not me that she liked the person I could become not the one I was well after two years my ex let me know that he liked women as much as I did : I've been with my girlfriend for three years and she still won't tell me why she can't listen to Jimmy Eat World I don't know if she hid it or just didn't discuss it but I didn't learn of a massive student loan debt until we were engaged well I'm the one that hid something from her that I was a smoker it got to a point where I'd hidden like that long that to admit it would be pretty much lying by omission and I really liked her and that's the story of how I quit smoking my ex-girlfriend hid the fact that she was on bipolar medication before we moved in together in NC after moving from NY she then stopped taking her medication and then quit her job leaving me as the sole income for the two of us I was 23 years old and this was my first long-term relationship we broke up a month after she quit her job that was a very long month it took me four years to tell my now wife I do not like my sandwiches cut in half she still brings it up his father is the red dragon for the KKK which is a partial reason why he refuses to let me meet him why he didn't just say so to begin with I have no idea I found out that my significant other hides candy from me in her car in fairness she does this because she likes the occasional sweet whereas I attack a bag of gummy bears like a stuffed hyena when I was in college I had no money in shaggy hair so I was wandering around the dorms looking for someone who knew how to cut hair a cute girl overheard me and said hey I know how to cut hair she gave me a haircut in the hallway and then asked if I wanted to go to Steak and Shake I said sure it's been 13 years we're married and she still gives me haircuts about two years into the relationship she confessed that she had no idea how to cut hair but really wanted an excuse to hang out with me she did it in the hallway and asked me to stake and shake because she didn't want me to look in a mirror and see the results she's actually pretty good at it now though he brought me to a house party just a couple of weeks after we started dating he pointed out a young lady and said he'd been dating her before me what he didn't mention was that he failed to tell her that the relationship was over no wonder she was giving me the stinky all night I'm also 99% sure he was seeing someone else before we decided to get divorced since he was spending all his time at the place his new girlfriend worked furthermore I'm 99% sure he met someone else before they broke up several years later based on how they met and when they started dating there's a pattern here the pattern is that my ex is a Ettie relationship partner who exits a relationship find someone else and only then does his partner know he's finished personally I was the opposite with my so I laid it all out on the table right away history of eating disorder now recovered depression anxiety self-harm abusive childhood etc because I wanted him to know what he was getting himself into I was his first everything and I sensed such a sweet innocence in him it didn't seem fair to have him get emotionally invested in me and then feel trapped with a crazy chip due to guilt I gave him every opportunity to bail and would not have blamed him one bit for running away I was past a lot of my issues but I still had quite a bit of emotional baggage when we met that I was still working on instead of scaring him off he actually respected my honesty and fell for me harder now we're married and expecting our first child funny how things work out so when I was younger my group of friends had this tradition of messing with people who pass out drawing on them stacking things on them et Cie anyway one night I noticed there were a lot of people passed out so I started bingo door being everyone on the for eat then I realized I was the only one awake not only that but I had been go dogged the farid of a girl I really liked I didn't want her to get pissed off at me for bingo dubbing her Fareed so I concluded in my drunken stupor that I had no other choice than to bingo Dubb myself so I did years went by and it was always a mystery who bingo everyone the girl I liked at that party had been my girlfriend for several years now and I finally decided to come clean she thought it was hilarious but let me tell you that ink they use in those bingo daughters is really hard to clean off your Fareed I found out that she was married before for a green card for him she doesn't know that I know turns out we have pretty duck in nice China wasn't exactly hate but I was never told and never noticed I was the one hiding it from my so I was about as deep into addiction as you can get but was putting on a very if I must say so myself convincing facade of normality wasn't until random had started disappearing from the apartment that I couldn't really hide it anymore that was a conversation that will live in the history books my ex-husband revealed two years into our marriage that he didn't want kids had never wanted kids and had only told me he did because he knew I wouldn't have married him otherwise which is true we had talked about kids before even being engaged so it's not like we hadn't discussed it on more than one occasion I stuck around for another two years hoping to make it work but ultimately decided the marriage wasn't worth saving we had other issues in addition to that but that was the big big deal breaker for me luckily I'm dating someone now who is absolutely amazing it's like night and day compared to my first marriage my ex told me he didn't have a facebook about a year into dating long-distance he was a suggested friend it didn't bother me initially because it's possible he didn't use it or think it was important nope he was very active with his iral friends family some I knew and listed himself as single when I told him about it he didn't give me a reason why just told me to deal with it he didn't have a reason to go behind my back or hide me from his friends family it bothered me that the ones who knew of me went along with it it felt like he was hiding something but I never found out that was the beginning of our spiral downwards being long-distance was hard enough but he kept giving reasons to not trust him we broke up a year after that and boy was it messy my ex hid a lot of things from me in order of him revealing them throughout our five-year relationship one year one he was an ex meth addict two year three he still occasionally put meth in his body I thought he was just an insomniac three year three he slipped up with the meth due to an unclear undiagnosed personality disorder likely BPD four year four he was actually married to someone else though estranged for eight years and five year five although he demanded monogamy from me he had a long string of other girlfriends on the side throughout our entire relationship this was the relationship ender finally six after our breakup he decided he was entitled to the five K I had lent him over the course of our last year together and would not be paying it back seven also after our breakup he wasn't sorry at all he seemed to need to tell me this via email for the next five months or so I am embarrassed at how long I stayed with him been free and clear for almost a year now and life is so good that he had been temporarily sent to a place for troubled kids when he was younger as a child he had blown up in class to the point where he had been screaming that he was going to kill everybody context he was a little boy from Taiwan who barely spoke any English at the time and had just moved to the US some other kid in class kicked him and he retaliated teacher caught him and he couldn't speak well enough to explain that he didn't start it and was the only one that got punished he didn't like that and started getting agitated and when no one understood he began yelling what he didn't know how to say school called authorities and he got taken away stayed in that facility for a few weeks being fed meds and all that he told me that the only reason he was compliant in there was because he was scared he would never see his mom again he never told anyone else because he didn't want people to think he was crazy when he was really only a frightened little kid no one tried to listen to I believed my wife was a broker instructor for three months after we started dating she doesn't do social media nope super hard-ass corporate litigator she dosent like Star Wars to be fair she didn't know till I had her watch a new hope and the Empire Strikes Back she doesn't even want to watch Return of the Jedi how gassy I was I used to hold it all in until I could have the glorious post-date Symphony now that we are married there's no point in hiding my farts in fact I can't hide them she gets woken up by the morning trumpet most mornings now I hid the fact that I owned my own house for a few weeks during the beginning stages until I really couldn't anymore the last guy I dated said it was intimidating that I owned my own car at 23 so I didn't want to scare this one off by telling him I owned my own house at 25 he admitted later that it was intimidating law we are still together so I guess it wasn't a huge deal not my soul but me when I was in my early teens I was super self-conscious about my small boobs 32a on a really good day so I wore those bras that added at least two cut sizes when my ex and I were getting serious as serious as you can be at 15 I had to stop him and say you know those aren't real when he was working towards taking my bra off nothing more awkward than your so losing his hard-on when he finds out you've got little tips the year is 2015 and I had been dating my wife then-girlfriend for about five years I was surprised to learn she had not seen Tropic Thunder so I instituted an emergency movie night at the end of the movie Tom Cruise dances to get back by Ludacris imagine my surprise when my wife begins to sing along to the music methodical and all believe me when I say that my wife does not look or act like the kind of person who listens to let alone memorizes zeros rap I felt like I was sitting next to a stranger I was the so hiding a secret my now wife didn't know for the longest time that I and like soccer or football when I first met her she had noticed that I came to class wearing two different soccer dresses and thought I must have been a fan they were both gifts and friends and fam who traveled overseas she first approached me and tried to strike up conversation about it whenever she brought it up I tried to play it off like I watched a lot because that seemed to be one of the things she liked about me the sharad was up one day when I didn't know what World Cup was in that it was currently on still not a trueborn fan but I make a point of watching it with her when World Cups on and cheering for her team that she was buying me non kosher food to prove it's the same as kosher food when we first began living together she was very wrong dated a guy for two and a half years and would never tell me why he hated Barbara Walters so much he would even tweet her mean things once in a while I travel a lot basically nine stroke 12 months and my girlfriend decided that long distance which she knew about well in advance was a tad too hard so when I came back I found Mike he no longer worked and my stuff was in a storage box lovely that she now he was transgender I was completely supportive and encouraged him to go for taking testosterone it just so happened that though I thought I was straight I adore him so much that he's still a perfect match for me edit and a cisgender dude his job was actually selling weed his run mate was actually his dad he never graduated high school I think he thought I was too rich or snobby for him at first but now we have a house together and he has an amazing job still no get but we'll get there I always planned on being the main breadwinner anyways my wife knew the success of our second child before birth and didn't tell me she knew for seven years she ran the budget and we were single income and she needed to know if we were going to have to buy boys stuff or reuse girls stuff also I found out seven years later that she was really hoping I wasn't going to propose at the moment I did been happily married to her for thirteen years now and terrified to find out the next seven years later tidbit oh my no ex-boyfriend hid the fact that he would hire male prostitutes to come over to the house when I played and with friends on Friday nights for two years he also hit a coke addiction until year three of a 4.5 year long relationship I helped him seek help and treatment which I found out years later he never stopped doing it even while attending classes and me being by his side turns out some people are just good at ignoring signs and stuff when they view life through rose-colored lenses : edit I am a gay man for those that are wondering edit to Bojack horseman Bojack horseman everywhere that he enjoyed getting three previous exes pregnant abandon her and the baby and just disappear he tried to do that with me he'll know that he was bisexual he didn't tell me until we'd already been married for two years I never cared that he was B but I didn't want an open relationship anytime I wasn't completely okay with him flirting with anything that moves or spending all his time out at bars I was being homophobic I tried to be understanding but somehow everything was my fault then I found out he was cheating on me with both a guy and a girl maybe more that's all I could prove fun times early in the relationship I went out and got us breakfast which included a bottle of orange juice from the supermarket classic orange juice with pulp ducking obviously anyway three and half years later she does the same thing for the first time and comes back with pulp free after dry heaving and wiping the tears of fear and anger from my eyes I pointed it out she gives me a lurid II got the wrong one happens again months later a trend emerges she is consistently accidentally grabbing the wrong juice she eventually broke down one rainy night and admits that she never liked pulp in her orange juice she has suffered through four years of pulp in her oj under my tear radical rule it was a hard few months it took a lot of acceptance from both of us she has accepted that I liked pulp in my orange juice and I had to come to terms with dating someone who doesn't have a soul edit you all make me sick pulp-free orange juice is just orange flavored water take a look at yourselves in the mirror and change everything about your lives [Music]

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Id: UN7TiYVSYFU

Length: 22min 47sec (1367 seconds)

Published: Wed May 27 2020