r/ChaoticGood | no. you didn't.

I email my dentist twice a day add it again I do a lot of illegal crap but littering is where I draw the line yeah there the there's the axis of legality and then you have another axis on the same graph of being a jerk baby formula is 19 lb and that's not a lot of formula like I I don't know if that's the powder or the the liquid this stuff comes in like a bunch of different variants and some of it is just like appallingly sad if I see a mother stealing formula I'm going to create a distraction yeah even out here in in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania it's in a glass case now like it's just you have to go get an associate this lady at Jamba Juice just cut me in line and the worker saw us so when it was my time to order he goes congrats you are the 18th customer today you get a free drink of choice oh my fracking God her face good job employee that's the only way to deal with this kind of crap make them really regret like the entire sequence of events that they did so maybe they will do it in the future Omaha man paints his house in rainbow colors after neighbors said derogatory words to him about gay man that didn't sit well I I love the house I love the set oh we got to talk about grammar and and like structuring your sentences cuz it sounds like a gay man couldn't sit down right this is the only way to respond to this kind of crap this is why pride is so loud not everybody who wears Pride colors is just like yeah no me they're like hey I'm wearing it for the people that still get hated on for no darn reason cuz other people are arrogant enough to think that they have a say over other people's lives bus drivers in Japan went on strike I yeah I heard about this by continuing to drive the route while refusing to take fairs from passengers keeping Japan on time but costing the bus companies yeah I saw this before absolutely love it I wish that's how more strikes works just like no we'll keep doing our jobs but you won't make any money man gets cancer on cancerous growth killing the growth and ending his cancer Taz failed successfully kind of terrifying to get another form of cancer that's like worse than the first one enough to kill it my mom has a friend who has a failed program service dog and he's literally my favorite creature he's a really smart lab he learned all the commands but he just has an affinity for doing them whenever he wants so this lady's dog literally turns on and off lights opens doors open the fridge Etc all at his own wishes her home looks like it's baby proofed with kid safe locks on everything and stuff but really she just has a dog that's learned all of the mobility service dog commands but has a mind of his own I'm being helpful right I'm would you like this cupboard open what about this light on I am I being helpful client did not pay add opacity to the body tag and decrease it every day until their sight completely Fades [Music] away 15 years ago five friends and I drunkenly painted a crosswalk on a dangerous Street in our college town shockingly people actually used it and the city installed a legitimate crosswalk there soon after now it's in a national publication the keys for gorilla crosswalks somebody who has to bike everywhere I fully support this neighbor kept letting his dog crap in my yard not cool clean it up please that's that's very nice and wholesome sorry swept through the yard just in case we are leashing our dogs to prevent this a also got you a new pencil thanks for your patience aw oh my God it's like an actual good neighbors interaction coming from Florida with HOAs and stuff like this is this is fantastic nobody got fined no old guy thought he owned your property it was F this is great never forget that Ford was 100% ready to fracking shoot a man just so Mabel could keep her pet pig I love Gravity Falls so much I don't know who needs to hear this but photo enforcement cameras hold 5.5 lbs of copper I also strongly advise against aiming a laser at them or any kind of construction foam or foaming was spray all of these are very bad things you need you should leave those cameras alone 5.5 lbs of copper is about 20 bucks spot price but hey one person's treasure another person's copper the artist holding valuable art Hostage to protect Julian I can't say that last his last name using a 32 ton Swiss bank safe Andre Malkin says he will destroy works by Picasso rembrand oral if the WikiLeaks founder dies in prison yes good excellent I had to go and like actually look look this up again because i' kind of Forgotten what had happened in general the best way to not have embarrassing leaks come out about you is to not do Shady stuff Pro tip conservation group buys out hunting rights in BC's great Bearer rainforest to protect Wildlife the tenure covers a quarter of the Great Bear Rainforest that's fantastic yeah we have a lot of hunting here but but it's not be to my knowledge it's like dear cuz if we didn't oh my God this place would be overrun Anonymous love note on my neighbor's mat this morning dear neighbor I want to drop this the morning you a hard time being over so I'm not going to read the whole thing that way uh but basically uh they're just going to bring their neighbor crap over to them or leave it on your car you're welcome sincerely someone who was raised right ooh I like that last line that's fantastic reporter wears grape costume to defend boys suspended for banana suit real recogniz as real I I remember reading this like years ago I want a reprisal of this most of our clothes are too boring nowadays we need we need more great costumes and banana suits cotkin he wrote some books about being chaotically good Red Bread Redemption how did he get published with the Rockstar logo and everything the conquest of bread Penny auction foreclosure the term arose during the Foreclosure of farms dur during the Great Depression in the United States neighbors would Gather in large numbers at the auction and place Birds oh sorry bids BL BLS uh of of only a few pennies while intimidating anyone who attempted to bid competitively in the end the bank that owned the farm would get whatever was Bid And The Neighbors would return the farm and its contents to the farmer no you just can't buy back your farm for only a few pennies someone else place a bid0 50 cents for my farm back silence armed Society poite Society this is my dad when he married my mom I asked him uh why were you dress like this to the wedding and he said uh your mom invited me to the wedding but she didn't tell me who I I got nothing chaotic good doesn't mean chaotic nice far too true uh how do I watch in Australia Al Yan one of my heroes Rook is working on it in the meantime there's VPN very probably no way to watch it legally I'm sure you have a torrent of other questions but I have to move along sorry I love her so much reject your homeowners association grow corn on your front lawn I mean there's corn like 2 minutes that way I'm pointing uh we did not buy a home homeowners association and I'm still shocked that they are at all legal if you want my private property to look a specific way you best be paying for it cuz if I have to pay it's to stay here own this property I'm going to make it look however I want there's literally no law that says you can't put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job literally there's no law that says that this is true I wouldn't I wouldn't recommend doing it for anything more than like a very entrylevel job because for an entry-level job they should just be making sure that you you you're not going to steal a bunch of stuff and set the place on fire this probably isn't going to go too well uh more advanced jobs like ones with technicals that that won't go well best way to deal with a scammer I was teaching a classroom of middle schoolers sixth grade and I got a scam call so I told my H class to scream into the microphone all at once the loudest Hy pit scream emitted by a middle school echoed throughout the school uh which made it louder and more unbearable he hung up probably traumatized for life I've also seen another one that's really good that doesn't require an entire freaking like coordinated thing is just throw it under a pot just like hello make sure it's a scammer throw it under a pot and just start beating the crap out of the pot and it will cook the phone in sound I curse thee Warrior everyone you date will find their soulmate 3 months after you break up so uh what kind of relationship are you looking for a short one I'm going to make so many people happy a oh my this is actually something I would do this is totally something I would do yes and just like okay fine screw you I'm going to repurpose this and get so many people their soul so much quicker I'm going to workp fate with the powers you have given me making a hidden Shrine for Mike wasowski and hiding it in a public library for people to find my God that's amazing I feel like hiding things in public libraries would just be like a fun variant of Geocaching this is like fantastic this is Way Beyond the level I was imagining but I mean if you want to make the cathedral tosk like I'm not going to stop you India's saving endangered rhinos with one simple trick poachers hate them kanga's ruthless Rangers have reduced Rhino poaching uh by simply gunning down poachers an armed Society is a poli we tried all these things to stop the poachers and nothing's working what if we just shot the poachers oh my God you're right this this is something out of Florida asking to get pulled over mother freckers stole my plate called 911 they wouldn't send anyone out went to buy they need an officer to sign paper please pull me over so they've created a situation sorry that was so poorly read There was just handwriting in sideways like at an angle so they created a situation where where somebody stole your plate 911 wouldn't help you you couldn't get an officer to escort you to the DMV and sign off on it that's infuriating again like the license plate is for you know everyone else it's not for you the car does not require a license plate to go this D is doing his best to like comply with with the laws my teacher counts the silly answer as correct changing ride height will affect wheel alignment I agree I disagree so we'll hurt hitting a curb at 100 m an hour HR at my work just called me and I thought I was in trouble for something but they just let me know my 11-year-old sister has been commenting on their uh Instagram every day telling them to give me a race oh that's wholesome that's that's really sweet passive aggressive gardening neighbor and I don't get along he's a very unhappy person so to brighten up both of our Lives I planted Wild Roses on our property border every time I hear him curse about shoots popping up everywhere I smile inside catnip is also a good idea it's a pretty plant and will of course attract some friends from the neighborhoods there's also some sort of ground cover thing that like spreads incredibly uh quickly when I was in fourth grade I was in the gifted program hell yeah yeah and they let us go to the library more often what which meant we had more chances to take the Accelerated Reader tests and get points and whoever reached a certain threshold got to go to Chuck E cheese so I goed around asking people I knew had a hard time reading what their logins were and sneak in to take tests for them so they could go to Chuck-E-Cheese too aw I got caught and they didn't let me go to Chuck-E-Cheese but it was worth it Frack you that's something that's also something I probably would have probably would have you are now entering a stress-free Zone enforced by sniper hey do you feel stressed do you I sure hope not snow work and all play Retirement Home Nurses host indoor snowball fight that's absolutely wonderful the late December snowball fight activity was just one of many ways the L facility keeps its residence Physically Active without the intimidation or a boredom that can come with traditional workouts Marissa Nelson activity director at lver said the main goal was to get residents moving oh I love that so much that's that's fantastic this woman just farted so loud in the bathroom I could just feel she was embarrassed so I farted back just to make her not feel solone social media has some great gems of holiday advice my younger brother is trans my parents have been horrendous about dead naming and misgendering him so at Thanksgiving I used an air horn to correct them I fixed a 2 to three year long problem in 2 seconds 10 out of 10 would recommend this Training Method that's the that's the correct way that's what I wish I could you know I just like walk away if you're getting misgendered like you just kind of blow it off or make fun of them back or you know just your standard sort of response poke back whatever you you're in the mood for but if somebody else is getting misgendered like you're way more defensive of them like if your best friend is getting misgendered you are like all teeth and Nails someone spray painted over a speed camera by my house I have no legal commentary on this I have lots of commentary it's just none of it's legal okay if you want people to slow down put a speed bump in Mexico City AP at first it sounds like a typical case of bad behavior abort airplanes like how that's linked like there's a whole Wikipedia catalog of all the crazy crap but the Mexico City International Airport acknowledged in a statement Friday that a man had opened an emergency exit and walked on the wing of a the plane that was parked and waiting for takeoff Thursday the airport said the man had been turned over to the police but dozens of follow passengers uh signed a written copy of a statement saying the airline made them wait for 4 hours without ventilation or water while the flight was delayed according to photos of the statement posted online fellow passengers said he acted to protect everyone with the support of everyone the airport said in a statement that yesterday day a passenger on a flight to Guatemala opened an emergency door on a plane while it was stationary at a remote position stood on a wing and then re-enter the cabin probably realizing how tall the wings of aircraft actually are which are pretty tall without affecting the aircraft or anyone else yeah I know they have the whole two in the US they have the whole 2hour waiting thing vouchers but I think after a certain point it's just like no I'm just I'm getting off like we're we're parked I'm leaving I'm done found this roadkill deer and stood it up to slow down traffic I mean if it'll get people to to slow down good way too many people fly around like mountain roads and stuff according to Legends Cole once hosted a party at which the guests discovered that they all had the word bottom in their surnames according to another story he bought tickets for particular seats out a theatrical performance he considered pretentious and distributed them to eight bald men whose heads painted with a single letter spelled out the word bollocks another SS claims it was four men's heads uh making the word Frack which was legible from the circle and boxes above that's a really good idea I just learned the T term gorilla gardening gardening strawberries planted in public oh my God the the the terror gorilla gardening on a Los Angeles Street that's just fantastic thank you so much I can't believe you were able to save my house from that Fire pow sigh the captain is the most dedicated firefighter I've ever met so why does he have to act like such a terrible human being 50 years later and now for the final step of my [Applause] plan bring it Satan this is like the bid in Doom but at one point there's a boss fight uh you finally kill the boss and the boss falls through to hell and you do too and you have to fight them again in hell this is fantastic just watch a man bringing home a goldfish on the train accidentally pop the bag fish flops on the floor three people swarm to save him the fish not the man guy chugs the last of his coffee and throws the fish in his cup lady next to him empties her in her bottle of water uh you see the craziest stuff on the subway this does not like this doesn't surprise me at all you can't give her that it's not safe it's a sword they're not meant to be safe she's a child it's educational what if she cuts herself that will be an important lesson yeah I'm glad things overall are safer nowadays Furious mother squirted her boob at a woman who told her to move while she was breastfeeding because it was distracting her husband what the hell is wrong with the husband like I get it ts are pretty but like can you can you not tired of telling your landlord about the moisture and mold problem get an oyster mushroom kit so they can't ignore it anymore I just saw this un rdit this is terrifying but fantastic does this count if you just self test without evidence of having done anything chaotic good moral alignment test uh yeah yeah no I I think this actually cuz like I'm somewhere between chaotic good and chaotic neutral depending on the day but in practice I'm usually like wful good to neutral good thank you kind Vandal nearest free machine Tesco 5 minutes londes Garden elbank Street 2 minutes that's wonderful I love that there yeah there was some in New York that would charge you four bucks in the deli near my in my college was like $1.99 it was painful someone made a rather unique donation to The Children's Hospital oh no oh no oh oh someone donated like 200 oh 200 of them Ian Malcolm Funko pops and we can't get rid of them what that's incredible the donor is truly a master of Chaos Theory okay this isn't chaotic good it's chaotic cringe oh shut up don't worry about people talking about you behind your back of course they do the local villagers always have legends about the terrifying things they meet in the dark make the make the things they say about you being whispered tones ancient evil awakens morals and ethics have changed so much in the last 10,000 years that the ancient evil is considered pretty moderate by today's standards the ancient evil is just a corporation I will topples your Empires and your kings I will drain the wealth from your coffers and elevate your Surs and servants until they stand on the same ground as the mightiest of Emperors women shall freely speak their M Minds unar Bound by the feathers you have set and the lines between man and woman shall be hopelessly blurred and shattered into a thousand pieces faets whatever your children shall fall into one another regardless of sex or class all wealth and None Shall raise a hand or a word against them well we're work going in that last part the age of crowns and boundaries and divine right shall end and out shall fall to each human to choose their wait wait where why why are you cheering I kicked burning terrorists so hard in the balls that I tore tendon in my foot good job ow moved to the middle of nowhere and disrupt its service for the rural isps Network downloading I AI models he gets in touch and the guy quadruples my speed and tells me to only run it at night aw good job up to 200 wow okay so it was cable uh thank you for getting back to me uh I do need more bandwidth blah blah blah blah blah yep I work with AI by you able to run a speed test for me I think I can get you 250 Meg uh with your current setup very fair thank you aw that's very that's very sweet my neighbor has a wooden board with a picture of Trump's face on it that says 2024 in his front yard me and the guy is just super glued a d dong to Trump's nose looks great he's out there trying to yanking off his wife is yelling GRA with the that's that's beautiful that's just absolutely beautiful sister-in-law had her driving test today there are three possible spots they use to test reversing around a corner and one of them she just couldn't master so stepdad Ken went and parked his his car there so the examiner had to pick one of the other two anyway she passed yeah unless you you live in New York or like a really small like fishing town or something that like no space you're not going to need to parallel park that much in the US and by the time you do need to parala park it will have been years and you'll have forgotten how to do it anyway so like stepdad Ken you're the hero we all need saw this in my town today can't we all just get along I agree that sounds great uh stop trying to make medical decisions for other people especially trans kids and then yeah we can get along

Channel: EmKay

Views: 230,967

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes

Id: ny5kQbuaLsM

Length: 21min 14sec (1274 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 05 2024