r/AmiTheA**Hole For Ruining Partner's Family Tradition After He CHEATED?

g'day there guys it's your main man marky back at it again with another episode of r am i the a-hole now if you love today's video i want you to sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie and enjoy today's bloody good contents posted by user first love immortal titled am i the a-hole for naming my first born son after my late boyfriend and not my husband even though it's a tradition in his family to name the firstborn son after the father let's get this out of the way first my husband and i are currently separated and we are getting divorced i'm going to file in a week or two and we have been living separately since i was six months pregnant why you ask a pretty common occurrence he was having an affair with a woman and he gave me the i love you but i'm not in love with you talk after i caught him no he didn't confess i was suspicious about his late night office hours and tracked him down at his office only to find him missing i waited for three hours all alone and then i saw them both arriving at the office she was hanging on to him they kissed inside his car and that's where i confronted both of them she was crying and he went on to console her saying it wasn't her fault that was four months ago and i moved out of the house heavily pregnant i moved to a friend's house that he didn't know about and for the next four months i didn't have any contact with him my choice i didn't inform him when i went into labor my sister and best friend were there for me i gave birth to my healthy baby boy and named him after my childhood sweetheart daniel my first love who sadly passed away when he was 20 from leukemia it was the most heartbreaking thing that ever happened to me it affected me really bad i lost 40 pounds in a month and had to be hospitalized i still have a hole in my heart a part of me was lost forever the day that i lost him it took immense therapy and counseling to cope with the grief and i met my husband six years later he was the first guy i fell for after daniel we got married two years later and after three years of marriage we got pregnant with our first child i wanted to wait a few more years but it was he who pushed for a baby my husband's name is felipe and in his family the firstborn sons are always named after their father so we decided to name him phil however after our separation i started experiencing daniel's presence around me i was a mess but i saw dreams where dan would talk to me and tell me that everything would be okay honestly i feel like dan's spirit has helped me heal and gave me strength to cope with the breakdown of my marriage when my boy was born i named him daniel his middle name was after my grandfather and i gave him my last name a month later i contacted my husband and informed him that his son was born a month ago and that i was going to file for divorce and to chalk out any visitation if he wanted i had him blocked everywhere for a month the same day i reactivated my facebook and announced the birth of my son with his full name my husband called me up crying and furious and told me that i had no right to name his son after some dead guy that i screwed his family thinks i'm the devil incarnate and even my mom thinks i went too far i'm losing my mind here am i the a-hole to the people wondering i'm not going to deny my husband a relationship with his son we'll come to a custody visitation plan once we get a court order for now he is free to visit his son whenever he wants the rest would be his choice to the people asking me if it was his choice to go no contact and whether he tried to contact or find me no it wasn't his choice and he did try to find me but he was informed that i was safe and that i would reach out to him once i was ready why did i stay away from him and didn't tell him about the baby for one month my emotions were a wreck and i didn't want to see him or talk to him i was incredibly toxic to be around going through hell mentally emotionally and physically i didn't want anything to do with him i also wanted the first month of my son's life to be a peaceful bonding experience for me and my son was it for my mental health yes was it selfish yes to remind everyone daniel isn't just my dead ex my former boyfriend my old lover my ex-boyfriend his memory is the reason i pushed myself to eat healthy and be alive to survive my pregnancy and give birth to my son he is my spirit angel looking after me from heaven and that's why i named my son after him he was taken from me by fate but he will always be there looking out for me and my baby i think this is a very clear case of not the a-hole i can see why the ex-husband's parents angry and think she's the a-hole but um that's a them problem that's not an op problem so in their eyes opie is the a-hole but i think coming from a voice of reason a place of logic opie is definitely not the a-hole in this situation i see them having no reason to stay with the husband no reason to even really reconnect like that definitely give him you know some custody of the sun let him see the sun but i think you write off your obligations to have your family name with the kid have that child uh named after you i think yeah you throw yourself under the bus when you cheat like that that's that's unfortunate for him you know it's unfortunate for op2 but he's got to accept that and i think in this situation opie is definitely not the a-hole he cheated and left you while you were pregnant of course it's still his son but giving your baby the name of the man who cheated on you while you were carrying his son is asking too much daniel is a lovely name and i'm sorry for your loss please don't think you were selfish you were not your ex lost all rights to that silly name tradition when he cheated his fault and his problem not yours congratulations on your baby boy plus daniel is a much better name than phil apologies to anyone that is named phil suggestions for your facebook page and relatives i won't name my son after a cheetah naming is for honoring people with integrity only posted by user league aggravating titled am i the a-hole for telling my sister and brother-in-law told you so for being dumb parents my sister and brother-in-law are pseudo-hippies they have an eight-year-old daughter named lee my niece had this bone-headed idea to shave her head and my sister and brother-in-law had no problem with it it was self-expression they asked me to do it since i cut my own son's hair and buzzed my own i refused i told him she would be mocked and teased for looking like a boy kids look androgynous and hair and dress are usually the giveaways as to what gender they are they turned it into a political issue about gender equality and tai told them they can do what they want and believe what they want but this isn't a political issue she will be mistaken for being a boy with a buzzed head and she won't like it they buzzed her head anyway a two all around and she looks like my son except they let her put blue dye a week later she has been bawling her eyes out and once a week and won't go outdoors without a hat people confuse her for being a boy even if she dresses like a girl of course my sister and her husband are making it into a political issue i told them they were wrong and now their kid is upset and they are stupid ass parents also they screwed up the buzz too the line is all messed up and there are uneven patches but they insist that it's the world that's wrong and not them you know what i don't blame rupee for this one i'm gonna say they're not the a-hole you can say it's everyone sucks here if you want that can be your opinion but i definitely think the parents are the ones to blame in this situation screw them for putting that on their kid convincing their kid that that was a good thing to do they should have more common sense and have listened to opi and now this could be a budding insecurity that flowers into you know crippling depression or something later down the line we obviously don't have all the facts in this story we have a biased view from op but i honestly wouldn't put it past that little girl to be insecure about their hair and their identity now obviously that's a stretch but that's my opinion on things what do you guys think i think not the a-hole everyone sucks here apart from lee lee is entitled to have her hair how she wants this is not your business however her parents should have explained to her that there are a lot of people out there with your mindset who will judge her and mistake her for a boy before she committed to it if she then wanted to go ahead with it that would be lee's choice not yours not her parents edit in response to some replies opie is an a-hole not because they refuse to take part that's their choice but saying i told you so and insisting it's a terrible idea whilst calling them dumb parents is absolutely not constructive maybe if lee was told to think about the consequences and she still wanted to go ahead and have her hair cut she would have been more prepared for the outcome as others have said in replies to this comment it doesn't always end in tears when they have been sat down and had it explained to them how people may react you know that lee is an eight-year-old right they're not always 100 rational and logical it's part of the job of a parent to prevent kids from making choices they will regret you're aware that hair grows back right yeah and trauma heals with time but i bet this little girl is going to remember being so embarrassed she wouldn't leave the home for quite a while not the a-hole how the hell has this turned into op's fault they refused to take part because they knew how it will go and they told it sister refused to consider did what girl wanted to do and now are upset the whole situation can be blamed on parents and only parents if opi helped with cuts the result would not have been the same then parents would blame rupee for not saying this happens it's the same thing when parents think giving their child unique names to feel special and then they are bullied through school lesson loans for everyone posted by user gloomyad 9473 titled am i the a-hole for embarrassing my son in front of his friends today my 12-year-old son asked if he could go to the park and play hockey with his friends the park has a rink i asked him who was going to be there adult-wise and he said none so i said nope he asked why i told him because last time they played unsupervised they ended up playing without their helmets hockey is fudging dangerous without helmets and without an adult i told him i didn't completely trust him it's not personal i just don't trust a bunch of unsupervised 12 year old boys he was very upset and promised he would wear one while playing hockey he said dad i would not lie to you like that so i told him he could and dropped him off all the kids were wearing helmets i told him i would call him before i picked him up in an hour but i lied i just showed up half the kids weren't wearing helmets my son was one of the kids when he saw me coming towards the rink he skated over to put on his helmet i told him not to bother and we were going he claimed that he had his helmet on for just a moment i told him that i didn't care and to get into the car he asked why i told him he had three seconds to get his stuff or else three seconds passed and i came into the rink and he started packing up i grabbed him by his jersey and made him leave the rink some of his friends were laughing he cried in the car that i humiliated him in front of his friends i asked him if it was worth not wearing a fudging helmet edit my son is still giving me a bit of a silent treatment i told him i was angry because i didn't want to see him get his teeth knocked he asked me if i was being serious and that wasn't even a funny thing to say he still insists he was only without his helmet for a few seconds because he was hot and he didn't want to talk about it anymore edits when i gave my son three seconds to pack up he just stood there defying me so i had no choice but to outdo him which is why i grabbed him by the jersey it was quite easy dragging him because he was still on skates edits one of his friends came over to pick him up to go bowling when my son came down the stairs his friend sarcastically told him not to forget his helmet i don't know whether that was a dig at him or me i'm gonna go with not the a-hole on this one that's just proper parenting and you know sometimes you do have to embarrass your kids to get them to learn their lesson i'd love to know what other forms of parenting are actually effective and get the son to learn his lesson here without being embarrassed but it's a 12 year old boy he was obviously stroking his ego by standing his ground trying to look cool in front of his friends you've got to bring them back down to reality at that point you just have to he wasn't abusive he didn't you know hurt this sign he didn't do anything besides embarrass him and show him that hey you know i told you you can't play we're going now this is what happens when you don't follow the rules i think that's completely fair on opie's end i don't think he's an a-hole for doing so he'd be an a-hole for not doing so what is that you're not punishing your kid that would be the a-hole action he certainly is gonna think you're the a-hole the only thing i'd say was a little unnecessary was grabbing him by the jersey but otherwise not the a-hole he can just tell his son that not wearing a helmet when he was a kid is what caused him to grow up and be so mean and embarrassing not the a-hole when my brother was 15 we had gone on a cruise to bermuda my brother met some new friends on the ship and they left the ship in the middle of the night my 15 year old brother was roaming bermuda with strangers mind you this was 2004 so before 15 year olds widely had cell phones until 3 am all my mom knew from the ship log was that he wasn't on the ship he was in a lot of huge trouble the very next day while they were on the island my brother wandered off my mom was ticked and when she spotted him my five foot four mum had her five foot ten son by his scruff dragging him back over with the rest of us my point is kids who break rules are never too old nor are their egos or reputations ever too fragile to grab them by the ear scruff jersey back under your watchful eye when they are deliberately breaking the rules and even more seriously when they are putting their life at risk kids think they are invincible they are not and they need to know that there are consequences that they don't want to repeat for when they put their lives in danger but for the consequence actually becomes irrevocable posted by user puredark123 titled am i the a-hole for cutting my nephew's hair my nephew 16 is a female to male transgender person his mum thinks it's just a phase he came out four years ago he's a good kid and since i'm a hairdresser he asked me to cut his hair for his birthday he had long hair and he hated it he would confide in me that he didn't feel like himself in his hair and that he hated looking in the mirror and seeing it his mum forbid him to cut his hair and still calls him as she because how certain she is that it's just a phase i strongly disagree with her her son doesn't even feel comfortable talking about his gender because she either pretends like she can't hear him or just tells him it's just a phase you'll grow out of it soon so on his 16th birthday he came over and i cut his hair for him giving him a hairstyle of his choice when she's seen his hair he cried out of joy and hugged me telling me he never felt more like himself he went home and my sister was ticked she called me yelling telling me that i ruined her daughter's hair and that i should have never went behind her back to cut her daughter's hair i simply told her that i didn't do anything that was permanent and that if later on in nephew's life he chooses that he wants to grow his hair back out that he can am i the a-hole here no i wouldn't think so the mother sounds very bigoted and i really do hope that she grows out of her ways because it's very much not conducive to a good mental health that's for sure you can do whatever the hell you want don't just go forcing that on your kids that's not right opie not the a-hole regardless of gender or the situation any 16 year old should have autonomy over their own hair yeesh also definitely your sister is the a-hole exactly what if opi's nephew was still female and simply wanted short hair like a pixie cut it's just plain ridiculous and solely based on the fact op's sister is massively in denial about her son exactly it's pure transphobia next thing we know she'll be banning him wearing shirts and trousers and insist on dresses and skirts for no reason except that she doesn't want him to express he's actually a boy it's not like opie secretly signed for medical permission for surgery behind mum's back it's hair mom is just a transphobe phases are normal parts of being a teen and hair is an easy way to express that whether it's anime punk mohawk black got hair or preppy blonde or highlights if she saw it as a phase she wouldn't have this reaction she finds it unacceptable for other reasons my mom let me get pink stripes during my avril lavigne phase and read during my tim burton phase neither were particularly great style periods but she recognized that hair grows clothes stopped fitting and it made me happy sometimes being a parent is going to the store with your kids in spider-man costumes in july because it's inconsequential and it makes them feel fantastic about themselves not the a-hole would his parents have been upset with him cutting his hair if he wasn't transgender anyone can have short hair it's not a gender quality and sometimes it's more comfortable to have less maintenance with your hair your nephew shouldn't be forced to have long hair if he doesn't want it he's 16 not eight his parents shouldn't be dictating what hairstyle he chooses to cut his hair in when it's his hair to begin also hair grows back it's not like it's a permanent situation and can be modified later on to however your nephew prefers seems like his mother is also transphobic and unsupportive of her son and that's not fair to him at all either not the a-hole even if it is just a phase he won't ever forget how invalidating and dismissive his mother was about his feelings good on you for supporting your nephew this might escalate his mother's behavior however perhaps keep an eye on him i'll definitely keep an eye on him i'm even thinking to let him move in if she escalates i'm so glad he has you in his life op just knowing that you're there you validate him and can give him a safe place is so validating thanks for being such a great person and dance obviously not the a-hole posted by user outrageoustaste839 titled am i the a-hole for using my wife's argument against her when it comes to our child throwaway title sounds bad but hear me out i have a wife who has birthed our son unfortunately my wife would not let me help name our kid and told me she was the one who created it thus she gets to name him and she does not care about how i feel my wife uses this argument all the time and treats me second rate even when i try to help or speak out my mind on opinion i'm kind of sick of this and i try to have a proper conversation but wife refused and told me since i did not birth the child i don't have an opinion on her parenting so today my son had a temper tantrum and my wife told me to fix it because she was busy drinking alcohol i said no and told my wife to fix it herself and that i then told her she birthed the child and that she can parent the child wife told me i'm not allowed to parent our child multiple times i left and played on my console my wife was furious and yelled at me for not parenting our child and telling me i'm a bad husband for not following her wishes so am i the a-hole for using my wife's argument against her when it comes to our child well yes but she also sucks for starting that in the first place it's a very childish precedent to set i don't understand where it came from or i don't understand why she's saying that there's perhaps a bit more to the story that we're missing but purely based on what you've given us here both of you guys are handling this very poorly your communication skills are not quite there you're not empathizing with each other on a mutual level it's kind of odd to see but nonetheless uh you guys do what you want i guess you both suck here and i hope it goes well everyone sucks here your wife is either awful or needs to see a doctor if this is out of character for her pre-pregnancy to rule out ppd you suck less than your wife does in this instance if we take her behavior at face value because at the end of the day that crying baby is still your child and is still dependent on you and your wife for care if she is drinking and doesn't move and the baby cries you still need to take care of him not play on your console it is completely unfair to leave your kid hungry or sat in their own crap for an extra 10 minutes while you and your wife both refuse to take responsibility for whatever reason he doesn't deserve that this is the answer both parents suck for using their child as a pawn in their conflict everyone sucks here it's kind of a question of whether the ends justify the means though if the kid was uncomfortable for an additional five to ten minutes and the result is that the wife realizes that her plan has backfired and allows opie to start parenting as an equal that's to the benefit of both the opie and the kid i personally doubt that a single interaction will change her mind but if he holds sperm and makes her reap the results of her astounding selfishness maybe she will change better yet though they should get to a therapist for sure everyone sucks here you are both acting really immature and irresponsible you have a child but you're too busy fighting about who's going to be the parent to probably take care of it your child is the one who's going to suffer for it posted by user if i die before i skeet titled would i be the a-hole if i told my mum that i didn't want my dog to become a service dog for my brother basically ever since i was like in kindergarten i've been expected to take care of my oldest brother who has a seizure disorder and cerebral palsy a few months ago i was given a puppy by my grandma since her chihuahuas had a litter me and this puppy clicked really well and my grandma specified that he was only mine and no one else's since usually the dogs i get end up getting sucked up and becoming the family dog since my parents are divorced this made me happy since i'd be able to take him with me wherever i went instead of leaving him at one household when i went to the other recently my mom started talking about making my dog a service dog i got really happy because i assumed she meant for me i have diagnosed anxiety however my parents won't pay for medication since they don't want me getting addicted she corrected me and said that she meant for my brother i told her that i didn't want that since he was my dog for information my dog does not like my brother my brother also definitely does not like dogs we have to tell him not to kick the dogs because it's his first instinct whenever they get too close just to smell him or lick him all of our other dogs are large german shepherds who know not to get too close however my dog is a friendly and curious chihuahua and is very small it would not survive a kick from a 25 year old man i also told my mum that i wanted him to be my dog and that if he became my brother's service dog i wouldn't be able to be with my dog as much as he lives with my mum more days of the week than i do also that when i go to college next year i wouldn't be able to take him with me am i the a-hole also sorry for the long rambling no i can't see you being the a-hole in this situation you know you don't want to put your dog's life at risk the brother doesn't like dogs in the first place i don't understand why she thought this was a good idea and if she's gonna think you're an a-hole for that maybe she's the one that needs a service dog to fix whatever's going wrong in her head why would you even think that this was an idea in the first place why are none of the other dogs service dogs why does his dog have to be a service dog and chihuahuas i don't know if chihuahuas make great service dogs they're a bit too small to really do much i guess but you know that's my perspective on it i'm gonna say not the a-hole it's your dog plus i don't think a chihuahua would make a good service dog and your brother hates dogs also your mum sounds like they have a major favoritism towards your brother which is uncool you need love and affection too i mean depending on the type of service a chihuahua can 100 be a service dog i imagine given the disabilities op listed that they'd want a seizure alert dog i don't see why a chihuahua couldn't do that in fact some service dogs are better if they're small some diabetic alert dogs are carried or worn so they stay close to their owner's mouth and can smell a change in blood sugar others though need to be bigger some people may need a dog to help steady or balance them or they may need a dog capable of reaching their chest i've heard of dogs that bang on their owner's chest to help break them out of flashbacks and panic attacks of course any of this would require a lot of training and the individual personality of the dog is more important than the breed but with all that being said in this case the dog clearly wouldn't make a good service dog for the brother since the brother doesn't like dogs and could injure or possibly kill it seriously not the a-hole do not let them take your dog there's a woman who goes grocery shopping at the same time i do each week and she has a chihuahua service dog because of some sort of heart issue she wears him in a little chest harness and he barks like a mad demon when she's in danger of passing out when he barks she lays on the ground immediately so that she doesn't hurt herself if she falls the dog weighs like four pounds and his ego is bigger than the hulk i swear chihuahuas can be service dogs but op's dog can't be someone else's service dog because they would never be able to focus on them more than they focus on op having the service dog's attention is important otherwise they might miss things not the a-hole op all right guys that's where i'm going to end today's video i really do hope you enjoyed it and maybe even learned something that you didn't know before if you haven't already please do feel free to click that like button as it really does help me in the youtube algorithm and if you haven't already and you love today's video please feel free to subscribe i would love it a lot also big big 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Channel: Markee

Views: 28,191

Rating: 4.9135718 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: qqldZRq7QSs

Length: 30min 15sec (1815 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 09 2020