r/AmiTheA**Hole For Causing A Family Meltdown Over My Uterus?

g'day there guys worried that my dead ancestors watched me while i'm pooping here back at it again with another episode of r am i the a-hole now if you love this content i want you to sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie and enjoy the bloody good contents posted by user shelter proof titled am i the a-hole for refusing to lie to my mother's husband about how i met my husband my mother and i have never gotten along she's very serious type a and i've always clashed with people like that she's also pretty self-righteous about things like pride and work ethic and she just isn't my type of person i feel bad because i'm her only child and i really wish she had a daughter she could actually enjoy my mom wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer because that's what her friends kids were doing but i rebelled pretty hard against school i left home the day i turned 18 and got by through modelling working at clubs with a fake id and dating rich men she always said i would understand her disappointments when i had daughters but i have too and i can't imagine being ashamed of something so petty i met my husband when i was working as a yacht girl that kind of just means i was paid by rich men to party on their boats and keep the guests entertained i did date some of these men and they were very generous my mum views that as prostitution i don't know if i agree but i 100 think prostitution should be legalized as i don't really care i met my husband and he scandalized his entire family by marrying one of those girls and we've been pretty happy for 18 years i do have an easy life and i'm not going to lie and see it has nothing to do with looks but they were my looks to do whatever i want with my mum doesn't like my husband she thinks we both partied too much and she was hoping i'd grow up and do something respectable one day she hates that he enables me to have the life she didn't want me to have well i met her new husband the other day and he works in finance is a nice enough guy but very straight laced he asked how i met my husband and i told him the true story my mother was furious and i did know she would want me to lie or leave some details out but it's my story to tell and i'm not ashamed of my life my husband thinks i should have lied and said it was full on prostitution but he's kind of an ass my mum actually cried after dinner so am i the a-hole i'd say no as you said it's your story to tell in this one and i think that your mum should respect that but it doesn't sound like she ever is going to respect that and it sounds like you know how to navigate these situations sure it's a new person coming into her life but that's no excuse for you to change who you are all of a sudden so my recommendation is you keep being uop i appreciate it not everyone has to accept it and that's just life you're not the a-hole in this situation in regards to the husband saying it should have been full on prostitution i like him and you not the a-hole your mother sounds like a narcissist and you didn't turn out to be the ornament that she wanted tough crap continue to be happy thanks for helping me rethink the sentence i thought the husband agreed that op should have lied because they did meet via prostitution opie not the a-hole there is absolutely nothing shameful about how you met it's similar to a customer meeting a server at a bar you guys have been together for 18 years that's not an insignificant amount of time stay happy she actually doesn't sound like a narcissist don't back seek diagnose she sounds like an overbearing uptight mother who cares way too much about what others think doesn't change the judgments but narcissism is a lot more complicated than that yeah so overbearing like i want my daughter to get a job so she can be financially independent and take care of herself ah those parents are the worst am i right not the a-hole we've been very happy for 18 years i think it's pretty clear that your relationship is more than just a bit of fun at a party and your husband's response also suggests to me that you do have a strong relationship your mother sounds like she cares more about appearances than your happiness but there's nothing to be ashamed of you lived the way you were happy and found your husband along the way she should be happy for you and proud of you the mum's like i don't like the way you live your life okay keep looking hubby we gotta find who the hell asked and it's more than looks even if we assume op got married at 18 the youngest she could be right now is 36. obviously that's not old but if her husband was shallow and only valued her for looks and sex he would leave her for a teenager or other younger women because how you looked 18 years ago is different from how you look now and i'm assuming she had some bodily changes from pregnancy and he's fine with that too so clearly it's not the i'm your trophy wife give me money sort of thing her mom thinks it is i'm probably going to get downvoted for this but i think everyone sucks here your mother is obviously way too judgmental but i think you said that to provoke her and make things uncomfortable i'm sure in front of new people you often say you met your husband at a party or that you are a hostess at the party which is true but if you chose to say you were paid to be hot on a yacht with rich men and that's the end of the sentence they didn't they didn't continue from there this was my take too i don't see why it's so hard to understand why a parent would want their child to be successful personally i don't think being hot contributes as having achieved anything but that's just my own personal take the fact op had to break down the intricacies of their meeting to us suggests that opie is also aware of why people would be judgmental so it screams double standards doesn't agree with her mother judging her but will actively make sure the internet doesn't judge her everyone sucks here there's lots of votes after this if everyone sucks here and you're the a-hole so i guess it really depends on how you view this situation i don't blame anyone for disagreeing with me posted by user drama regarding kids titled am i the a-hole for shutting down talk about having kids with purposefully controversial statements so our region has done well handling covert so my husband and i had a small group of family over for a backyard barbecue a month ago we're the only ones in the family left who don't have kids we're not going to we prefer our lives as mountaineers his family thinks we'll change our minds mind you husband had the snip mother-in-law jokingly mentioned that maybe with all the alone time we'd be giving the family a little bundle of joy we shut the idea down with good humor she kept pressing and sister-in-law chimed in with come on this is the perfect time to get started we've talked about this already let's drop it well i don't care again drop it i just hope it happens thankfully we're very careful accidents happen it isn't always up to you or yes it is i had a vasectomy like i said discussion over can we move on we do but mother-in-law and sister-in-law are whispering with each other and shooting glances looking at their phones etc brother-in-law and i are laughing about something dumb on tv seems like everything is fine until sister-in-law says vasectomies can fail you know it's not a 100 thing it gets quiet mother-in-law and sister-in-law looks smug so there's still a chance you can get pregnant you can never be sure husband and dad lock eyes parties over and i say that's exactly what abortions are for q screaming and yelling i'm an evil cruel [ __ ] what kind of monster etc his family are all supposedly pro-choice husband yells at them to get the hell out don't talk to me like that mother-in-law gets up in his face and yells that i said i would kill her grandbabies how could he stand to hear it and i would hold her fudging hand the entire time because it's what both of us would want party's over cue facebook crapstorm mother-in-law's post tags us says we're having a nice family get-together and opie and husband had paid us with purposely controversial statements every mom lives to see her babies have babies yesterday i was told that my cruel daughter-in-law would murder my grandbabies if she got pregnant and my son would hold her hand while she did it i do not feel like we're a-holes even for how we handled the situation there was no getting through to them without being direct and final this isn't the first time we tried to get them to drop the subject however other family members really think we're in the wrong and that i went over the line reddit are we the a-holes here in my opinion absolutely not they overstepped so many boundaries in this interaction and they continually pushed those boundaries knowingly it's clear they were looking for a direct answer and it's clear that they were expecting something controversial with so much pressure being put on you guys they're just playing up for the sake of playing up because i suspect they've always known that the answer was going to be no they just want a reason to be angry it's like someone's saying to you come on what are you gonna do punch me in the face what are you gonna do stab me and then they get stabbed and they're like oh what you stabbed me why that's my simplistic view of the situation and that's the reason that opie is not the a-hole not the a-hole you both are probably going to have to block her and cut her out for a while life is too short for this kind of drama even if we lived up to 1 000 years old life would be too short for this crap i would genuinely say life is too long for that kind of drama because it'll never be a one-time thing that sort of meltdown will happen all the time the idea of 1000 years of that bs is exhausting i genuinely like this way of looking at it it's more terrifying when you imagine having to deal with it forever i think bringing up abortion was the wrong route always go with we aren't worried about kids mother-in-law you can't get pregnant from anal not the a-hole at all they started it i also would have asked them why they're so interested in your sex life lol long-term though you may consider using the grayrock method with them which might have more sustainable results and what's that you ask picture a grey rock unremarkable forgettable and similar to countless others scattered nearby even the most enthusiastic collector probably wouldn't have a lot to say about this rock so if you want to escape notice becoming a gray rock might seem like a good way to go about it of course people can't actually turn into rocks but that's where the idea of gray rocking comes from this strategy involves becoming the most boring and uninteresting person you can be when interacting with a manipulative person ideally over time they realize they won't get a reaction out of you and they stop whatever offensive behavior they were doing good explanation not really feasible for family though as it enables crappy behavior and taking it until they stop isn't what i would suggest actually it can be really effective with family as usually they engage in bad behavior to get some sort of reaction from their victims it's not taking it until they stop it's more just not sharing with them any real info about your life to use against you and not reacting to things they say to get a rise out of you i've used gray rocking fairly often and it's been pretty successful for me not the a-hole kids aren't for everyone and i hate the culture of pushing people to have them people don't realize that if those child free people are forced to have children they don't want terrible things happen i'm not saying in every instance but it does happen abuse neglect maybe not criminal neglect but there is definitely the feeling of being unwanted imagine being the child who was born to people who never wanted kids that's a tough life most people choose to have children and it seems like mother-in-law has plenty of grandkids already are they not good enough for her yes but apparently she deserves grandbabies from everyone with the uterus even slightly involved in her family after all she's entitled to a full collector's set right but on a more serious note i was born to people who never wanted kids thankfully i was adopted by an amazing couple who did but not all such stories turn out to be as happy as mine posted by user falling again titled am i the a-hole for coming out as a lesbian immediately after publicly separating from my husband my ex and i didn't have a great relationship and i was also questioning my sexuality for about a year before i decided to end it for other reasons edits he was petty childish inconsiderate of my feelings and decided if he had a bad day i had to have a bad day too shortly after we told our families and friends we were calling it quits i also came to the conclusion that i'm a lesbian and i publicly came out for the end of pride month my ex is really upset about this and thinks i should have waited a while because now people will think he turned me into a lesbian apparently his friends have been making fun of him for it am i the a-hole i don't follow the logic of how you can be an a-hole for coming out as lesbian or being turned into lesbian for someone where does the blame lie on someone do people not understand things in this universe like exactly how can you be an a-hole for turning someone into a lesbian even if that was true that doesn't make any sense and because of that stupid flaw in logic op is not the a-hole to me it doesn't make any sense not the a-hole you get to decide when you come out and turning someone into a lesbian is ridiculous that said while it's nobody's business people do talk coming out immediately post-divorce is going to cause a lot of assumptions about your marriage and why it ended this this is what i came here to say but i'd go with no a-holes here instead your ex's friends are giving him a hard time and he's hurt right now so it makes it worse it sounds like his friends are the a-holes not opie and maybe not the ex i don't know i'm on the fence about him still trying to control his ex's behavior when they're formally severed ties maybe her ex should rethink his alleged friendships with toxic people who make fun of someone who is still emotionally raw from a divorce i think he's just hurt because of the breakup and his friends are fudging with him because that's what a lot of guys do whether you agree with it or not i don't think it's out of line to convey what he's feeling dude is just in a bad place right now and as stated the timing she used makes people make assumptions it may not be right but that's just how it is rp doesn't deserve to be blamed for something a lot of guys do the ex should convey what he is feeling to the people making him feel that way not the person who didn't do anything except come out that is why the dude above him said no a-holes here no the person you're replying to is saying not the a-hole because the ex is taking it out on the person coming out instead of the people being dexed to him not the a-hole and if men could turn women into lesbians there would be way more lesbians in the world and the other way around with that logic all those middle aged men in the trope of oh my ball and chain wife is such an egg she actually wants me to talk to her but she's so dense ahaha book good iphone bad would also be gay i would definitely be gay not because i don't like girls it would just be awesome if me and my buddies could [Laughter] it would gay dude here it does have that upside sometimes it's way easier to have friends with benefits but also corresponding downside sometimes the idiots think you're hitting on them when you're just being a friend alternatively you can still screw dudes of your streets kind of the reverse of what op did no a-holes here you are of course free to live your life however i struggled on no a-holes here because your ex could be somewhat of an idiot here based on the turned you into a lesbian crap however a divorce is a traumatic time and you may feel some kind of way about having been with someone who wasn't sexually interested in him and taking flack from homophobic a-holes you don't owe him a talk over a cup of coffee but it couldn't hurt he needs some direction for example to be told his friends are fudging idiots and not very good friends posted by user throw ra uterus897 titled am i the a-hole for having uterus arts on my wall so i female34 was really good friends with a woman a long time ago female 22 she died of cancer that age she and i were soul mates and she would embroider and sell it to people since we were basically sisters she made some for me free she made three which i kept to honor her memory a flower an elvis one and one of a uterus the uterus one is bigger than the other two so i hang it by my bed recently a male to female 31 high school friend of mine got kicked out by her boyfriends i was okay with her staying until the storm was over it went fine first she cleaned up after herself cooked for herself didn't demand too much etc but some drama happened recently we were in my room and talking about stuff she noticed the bigger uterus one and said it gave her dysphoria and wanted me to take it down i asked why and she said because she feels less like a woman and because she doesn't have one i said i feel bad for her but i'm a woman with a uterus who feels proud of it and it's my room she got mad at me and went out of the room am i the a-hole i'd have to say no in this situation and i can see where they're coming from with the body dysphoria but that doesn't mean people have to take down things when you request it people have the right to say no to requests like that and this uterus was very symbolic and was gifted to her by a friend who's died i would be pretty offended if people asked me to take down something that my dead friend had given me like those kinds of items hold so much meaning to a person and memories if someone asks you hey the memory on your wall there offends me can you please take it down i'd have to politely say no i'm sorry it holds too much value to me i understand where you're coming from but i just can't do it unfortunately she had every right to get mad and storm out of the room that's fine but rp shouldn't be guilted to take it down so in that case not the a-hole your house your room your art your uterus please don't feel bad not the a-hole your art from a dear friend that passed away due to cancer i would argue that your additional information is irrelevant as this would be unacceptable behavior from the friend regardless i would argue that it's not irrelevant i'd say it adds even more reason not to take it down not the a-hole presumably your friend is going to have a go at anyone who's pregnant next since she can't have a baby or maybe you could take her on a hospital visit to see patients with cervical cancer that'll make her feel better right the friend needs to start learning to accept themselves instead of controlling their environment they're setting themselves up for failure because they'll never control everything external that can trigger them she should know about cis women without uteruses and that doesn't determine that they're not women they are still very much women i'm a cis woman and i would get my uterus so far out of my body if i could estimates show about 10 to 15 of women by age 40 have no children half from not wanting them half from not being able to have them babies do not define your womanhood friend needs to realize that everyone else's life is not all about their transition they don't get to dictate the actions of others in order to validate themselves friend is free to find somewhere else to stay if they're uncomfortable about something that the european is displaying in their private home yeah i unfortunately had to stop hanging out with a trans friend because she just became so incredibly toxic to be around she made everything about her transition and started telling me that i'm probably trans because i only wear jeans and hoodies i'm a lesbian that dresses more like a dude i'm not trans i'm a completely straight woman who only wears boots jeans and t-shirts does that make me trans some of them would say yes i've had some argue with me and tell me i must be trans because i'm tall the logic there seems to be i'm trans because i say so and you're trans because i say so it's maddeningly confusing posted by user twisted raccoon titled am i the a-hole for leaving my aunt alone at the pool with her three kids i honestly don't think i'm the a-hole here but apparently i'm a horrible person sounds like a just no mother-in-law or an entitled person ahead so i female 18 have an aunt who has three kids male 2 female 4 and female 12. i don't see them very often or spend much time around them but my family is doing a small 4th of july thing today so we're all together at a local pool social distancing masks unless in the water etc we're staying at my grandfather's house for a few days and it's about a 30 minute drive from the pool this morning when we came up my grandfather and uncle kid's father went to play golf while my aunt took the kids to the pool i drove myself to the pool in a different car as the aunt and kids usually swim for six plus hours straight and i didn't want to stay at the pool for that long i made it known before we left that i was taking my separate car i swam with the kids for about four hours but then decided that i was ready to head back to the house i got up and left my aunts and she freaked out she'd told me that i was being impolite and rude by leaving and that since she'd bought me lunch i had to stay she didn't buy it it was put on my grandfather's account she said that i was going to make the kids upset and that she didn't want to have to take care of them alone i told her that i was sorry but i had stuff that i wanted to do back at the house she started yelling in the middle of this public pool about how i was ungrateful for not helping and for leaving the kids how i don't deserve to be up at the house how i'm being a horrible family member and of course now the young kids are crying because mommy is yelling at their cousin and they don't know why so i just turned around and left my uncle and my grandfather were already at the house when i got back my grandfather thinks i'm in the right they're her kids not yours if she can't be alone with them there's a problem but my uncle and grandmother are extremely upset that i left her at the pool alone to deal with them two-thirds of the kids are fantastic swimmers the youngest is the only one that needs help and has to be watched a bunch i honestly don't think i'm in the wrong but my aunt isn't speaking to me my uncle keeps making rude remarks and my grandmother is passively aggressively saying things to the small children like oh i know i'll take care of you opie isn't very nice is she am i the a-hole here no that woman can look after her own kids it's okay to ask for extra help and get that extra help for sure but demanding that she stay there for six plus hours straight is just inconsiderate you shouldn't blow up at her when she wants to go spend her own time she enjoyed some hours looking after the kids and hanging out with you guys but it's so rude to just blow up at her and said that she's a piece of crap for leaving they're your kids you look after them you signed up for it she didn't what's wrong with you and the family for enabling it no that's the wrong attitude to have there seriously needs to be a sit down and be like yo let's figure this out you guys are crazy and here's why and let's just let's be let's be normal here shall we opie is not the a-hole if she can't handle three kids she shouldn't have had three kids and they're her responsibility plus there are lifeguards it's not like you have to watch them like a hawk if you can't keep a general eye on your kids and collect them when it's time to go you definitely have an issue lifeguards are 16 year olds with minimal training source i was one parents are expected to look after their kids a lifeguard saving your kid is a last resort this is a dangerous attitude to have really we have trained ones over 25 here so i'm a lifeguard the problem with the parents not being around isn't that the kid can drown i can jump in for your kid the problem is that if some rando takes your kid's hand and leaves with them i don't know if that's their uncle aunt or grandparents additionally if your kid falls and cracks their head open and a parent isn't around i'm not looking for a parent i'm straight up calling the cops and first aiding the kid you need to be within arm's reach of your child additionally if your kid goes under you can pull them out much faster if you're right there okay then the aunt should have taken them home instead of press-ganging their cousin into free child care four hours is more than enough pull time they'll live this or the uncle could have gone to help his wife with his own children instead of being such a chicken butt about the whole thing everyone mattered opie sucks for blaming her instead of asking the father to do his damn job edits and the more i think about the manipulative grandmother using the kids to get her digs in the angrier i'm getting i don't often use the word trashy but that's just trashy to me not the a-hole you have to babysit her kid so her husband can golf nah this the next time uncle tries to say anything remind him he made the kids with odds not you not the a-hole i was trying to figure out was that the kid's father why was he home and not heading to the pool to spend time with his family p.s i have three kids and have taken them to the pool a lot on my own fun if someone else is there but i would never expect someone to have to help me posted by user anonymous18365 titled am i the a-hole for not wanting my parents to be a part of my daughter's life when i was 18 my parents kicked me out of the house after i got my girlfriend pregnant to them it was shameful and they completely cut me out of their lives and my family's money my girlfriend and i managed on our own after my son was born but it was a struggle for years we were living paycheck to paycheck and constantly stressed about money my girlfriend's parents helped out when they could and were the best grandparents to our son by some miracle we managed to graduate from college even with work and raising a child now we're both 32 been married six years living in our own home with our 13 year old son and our four-month-old daughter i haven't seen or spoken to anyone in my family except my cousins in years two weeks ago my mom sent me a friend request on facebook and also messaged me she sent this long message about how she's wanted to talk for a while now and she apologized for the way they treated me she and my dad were hoping we can make amends because they really want to meet my new daughter and get the chance to be grandparents she didn't mention my son at all ask how old he is how he's doing or express any interest whatsoever in also wanting to see him not just my daughter i messaged her back and vented about all the hardship and obstacles my girlfriend and i had to deal with to get where we are and how hard it was that i didn't have my parents emotional support through what was the most difficult time of my life sure their money would have made things a hell of a lot easier but i get that money shouldn't have been handed to us but i feel the least they could have done was be there for me instead of erasing me from their lives i said they don't get to walk back into our lives and i don't want to hear from her again i blocked her after that a few days ago one of my cousins mentioned my parents and said they're telling everyone i'm refusing to let them meet their granddaughter my cousin knows about everything but he thought it was still petty to be that way when they clearly regret what they did and want to be in my life now and i can't allow a grudge to prevent them from being grandparents my wife and i talked this over and she feels the same way i do but will support it if i want them around it really feels like they only care now because we're older and the hard part is over and honestly my parents have always been extremely judgmental over everything they're also very snobby and i'm not 100 sure if that's what i want my kids growing up with my cousin keeps saying i'm in the wrong gear and it's hurting my parents that they'll miss out on my daughter's first year of life by not being around i'm just a little lost and i don't know if i really am being the bad guy or not am i the a-hole no your parents suck they deserve to be ignored that's disgusting behavior on their part and i don't condone it they want their cake and they want to eat it too without any of the repercussions of said cake screw them keep ignoring them they don't deserve any part in your family i stand by that erp is not the a-hole not the a-hole they made their feelings known 13 years ago it's a total a-hole move to ask about one child and ignore the other if you were so inclined consider meeting with your parents in a public place sans kids if they're serious about reconnecting and making amends they can just start with you and your wife if that goes well over time consider allowing them limited access to kids make it perfectly clear that it's a package deal either they treat both kids the same or they see neither child you're probably better off without them in your life correct answer right there they have to demonstrate their worth as parents before they earn the privilege of being grandparents this grand parenting is not a right it is earned and they made their decision on whether or not to be grandparents 13 years ago the part that bothers me how the cousin side with his parents somehow people are just absolved of their sins because they're old and need help i do not wish for anyone to suffer but your choices reflect on you and you should always be ready to face consequences later and now that they want to reconnect they throw opie under the bus for their entire family because opie wasn't jumping for joy at the first sign of attention really one apology in words not actions it's all supposed to be fine and opie is somehow unreasonable and then after their first crappy try fails they immediately try to guilt trypop into submission they're not sorry at all they're embarrassed they don't have the perfect postcard family by badmouthing opie to the rest of the family they have shown their true colours in my honest opinion not the a-hole why now why only your daughter i get that people can grow but in that growth are they planning to pretend your son is still a shameful secret family is more than blood they are the people who stand by you with you and behind you in good and bad times the fact that your mum immediately went with woe is me i'm the victim they won't let me etc etc to everyone says a lot to me she isn't even planning to put in some work to try and heal the rift that she allowed to grow in case it's unclear i support your decision 100 all right and i think that's where we're going to leave today's episode guys i really do hope you enjoyed the content today if you guys loved watching it as much as i loved making it i would love for you to subscribe to the channel already if you haven't tell me what you thought of it down in the comments below maybe like the video who knows i'd also like to take this time to thank my awesome patreon and channel members without you guys you know i don't know what i'd do i'd probably be homeless on the streets of ireland crying irish dancing all over town it would just be a mess but now for real you guys are up on the screen now thank each and every one of you guys and if you personally want to join the club yourself there are links down in the description below there's also the join button next to the subscribe button small monthly fee but hey it goes a long way to help me create more awesome content with that said guys i hope you do have a lovely day night sleep evening day at work day at school whatever you're up to i hope you keep awesome today you're looking amazing and i will see you in the next video bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 50,204

Rating: 4.9188294 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: rr3qs4WU5I0

Length: 33min 58sec (2038 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 05 2020