r/AmiTheA**Hole For BANNING My Brother From My WEDDING If He Proposes? (w/Updates)

g'day there guys won't you please be my neighbor back at it again with another episode of r am i the a-hole now if you love me like i love you i want you to sit back relax chuck a like on this video and enjoy the content posted by user bridezilla 13 titled am i the a-hole for threatening to ban my brother from my wedding because he plans on proposing to his girlfriend during the reception i 25 male am getting married in december my fiancee 24 female and i are both very excited and busy planning and this incident is making things much more stressful a couple weeks ago i was talking about the wedding with my brother 30 male and he asked if it'd be okay for him to propose to his girlfriend at our wedding i laughed and said yeah sure if you want to get your ass handed to you by my fiance he laughed and i figured he got the message the other day my fiancee came to me in tears saying that my brother had called her and thanked her for letting him propose at the wedding she told him that had never happened and he wasn't allowed to do that and he just laughed and thanked her again i called my brother back and asked him what was going on he's insisting that he's going to propose to his girlfriend at the wedding he claims it's getting even for when i announced our engagement at the same family dinner he brought his girlfriend to meet the family i had no idea they arrived separately and she got there after i had made the announcement i told him if he doesn't get it through his head that he is absolutely not allowed to propose both him and his girlfriend won't be allowed into the wedding at all and if he tries to pull a stunt he will be kicked out immediately he didn't take it well and told the whole family my fiancee and i have been getting calls and messages from them telling us how crappy we are for doing that how dare i turn my back on my brother he's also now blaming me for spoiling the proposal to his girlfriend and the family because if i hadn't been such an ass he wouldn't have had to break the news to the family like this i still stand by what i did i don't think i was out of line at all but my fiance thinks we should have just let him propose to avoid conflict i know it means a lot to her that everyone gets along and that there's no hard feelings especially since she's feeling stressed as is but i don't want to give in to my brother am i the a-hole edit thanks for all your responses i didn't expect this to get this many comments to address something while i understand the intent behind the suggestions my fiancee and i will not be telling my brother that we'll announce a pregnancy at his wedding in retaliation we are unable to conceive and this is a sore subject to us oh okay geez i'm gonna go with not the a-hole the brother seems to think that you guys are joking at every twist and turn in this story i i don't get why he doesn't take no as a no i mean you didn't give him a straight no like initially you said haha she wouldn't be happy with that i wouldn't do it and he's like ha ha cool and then your fiance was like ha ha no crying time and he's like ah thank you so yeah um basically i don't know what's going on in that boy's head but uh he needs to get the message through his thick skull and i don't think you're the a-hole for being steadfast on your position on this not the a-hole it's your wedding besides proposing at a wedding is super awkward like the waiting is about the couple not someone who's going to be getting married in the future and he's being a total ass about it and they both clearly said no if he can't respect that symbol of boundaries then he is not going to make good husband material not the a-hole it's your special day and one that is going to be filled with good memories for you don't let your brother spoil that day for you and your significant other updates am i the a-hole for threatening to ban my brother from my wedding because he plans on proposing out to the reception firstly thank you all so much for the crazy response of my original post totally unexpected but very much appreciated by my fiance and i as i mentioned a couple of times in the comments of my original post my fiance and i wrote up a facebook post to explain the situation to our families but mostly mine including screenshots of texts with my brother i decided i didn't want to link the post here as it feels a little too personal to be slapping on reddits sorry as expected once the family heard our side of the story and put everything together many of them changed their tune most of the family members who had been calling me an a-hole ended up apologizing and siding with me and my fiance my brother was livid he called me about an hour after the post went up and demanded that i take it down because i made him look bad he said he was being unfairly attacked and even blamed me for his girlfriend breaking up with him my brother has formally been banned from the entire wedding and we've asked any family members who continue to side with him to rsvp that they will not be attending our parents are not happy with the turnouts and my mother has decided she won't be attending my wedding because of how i'm alienating my brother during an important event i don't mind i've never been very close with her and while it is a bit sad that she's choosing my hard-headed brother over my wedding i still have my father's full support my brother's now ex-girlfriend is still invited and got promoted to bridesmaid because of how helpful and supportive she's been to my fiance hopefully this is the last issue we'll run into during wedding planning i hope this update lives up to any expectations i never expected i would be in this situation but i'm glad so many people on this sub got a kick out of it and very grateful for the advice and support that i received and about the uh making him look bad lequilla says well yeah it certainly did make him look bad because he was behaving badly but narcissists don't like their perfect image spoiled in public same for your mother you've ruined the whole happy families and perfect mother fantasy she insists you all play along with have a lovely wedding and jumping onto the top comment here to add that opie really should consider preparing for having to either turn away or kicking out people at the venue in the case that either the mother or the brother tried to do something wouldn't put it past the two of them to try to ruin it or have someone else try to the ex-girlfriend what a queen glad you sorted it all out happy new patrols dude she's the real mvp lol kudos to opie and his fiancee for including her in the wedding if i found out my boyfriend was going to propose at his brother's wedding i would be horrified too as any reasonable person would men it always upsets me when parents act like your mom did punishing people for not keeping the peace aka letting themselves be a doormat they always punish the boat stabilizer instead of the bird rocker kick the boat rocker off the damn bird instead posted by user am i the a-hole stepson prob titled am i the a-hole for cancelling my stepson's birthday because he face-palmed me and yes we've covered this but there is an update i married my son two years ago and my relationship with my stepson who's 12 has never been well we tried everything but nothing seems to work his behavior towards me is so terrible he shouts at me swears at me and calls me the worst mother ever his 13th birthday is tomorrow and since my daughter's birthday is only 10 days apart we usually celebrate them both in the same day they are fine with it i asked my stepson who he has invited and that's when he facepalms the gesture and tells me that he's already answered this question before in the worst turn ever this is where i lost it and told him that because of his attitude i am going to cancel his birthday tomorrow at first he didn't believe me since it's not the first time i intend to punish him without actually doing it in the end but this time i was serious and to prove it to him i called his grandparents and told them his birthday got cancelled he started crying begging me not to cancel but i told him it's too late i got berated by his grandparents because of this and they told me that i don't have the right to cancel his birthday as his mother i'm pretty sure i can do what i want though but they weren't listening to me they even told me that tomorrow they are coming to his birthday with the gifts even after i told them not to bother because i won't open the door am i the a-hole here yes first off you're his stepmother not his mother and you don't have the right to do that just because he face palms your lack of memory and remembering skills doesn't give you the right to give him a lack of birthday party crazy lady that's not on you should feel ashamed to yourself because you are the a-hole here and trying to get the grandparents to side with you what's wrong with you in what universe was this going to work you're the a-hole update am i the a-hole for cancelling my step-son's birthday because he face-palmed me a lot of you have dm'd me for an update and since things are getting better between me and my son i decided to let you know how things are going since many of you have called me an a-hole and after the conversation i had with my husband and his parents i realized that i did indeed overreact and i shouldn't have made such a harsh punishment some of you suggested if his attitude persists i should find other ways to punish him like not allowing him on the laptop let him do some homework etc and i'll start doing these sorts of punishments if needed unfortunately due to me not contacting his friends on time his birthday party still didn't happen on his birthday it was postponed two days later but my daughter still got to celebrate her birthday on that day my son was obviously really upset and in the morning he came to me and was on the verge of crying asking me if i did actually cancel his birthday party i told him that unfortunately his friends already made plans but if he behaves i will still do his birthday after two days surprisingly he was really polite with me these days probably because he really wanted his birthday party but i am really happy to see that he stopped raising his voice at me and stopped with these rude gestures such as facepalming his grandparents were also really upset at me and they ended up arranging the party for him instead as they said i am too irresponsible both birthday parties ended up being successful and until now i still haven't had any severe arguments with him and i'm really happy with the way things are going thank you to everyone who sent me dms to support me and provide me tips especially the stepmothers who were going through similar problems so just to be clear 1. you did cancel his party 2. when he asked you about it on the morning of the party you told him his friends had already made plans which was actually because you didn't contact them and three his grandparents had to arrange it because they rightly judged that you're too irresponsible for this you sound like an evil stepmother from a children's book did you apologize to him at least it doesn't sound like he did this isn't about finding other punishments who the hell punishes someone over face palming himself this is about you not treating him properly there's just so much wrong here and your update makes it clear that you do not understand what's wrong i truly hope that his father comes back edit from doctoring in a pandemic and divorces her ass after seeing her true colours she had her daughter's birthday party on her stepson's actual birthday and she refused to apologize for cruelly overreacting did she even do anything for him on his birthday a cupcake with a candle wish him a happy birthday or did he have to clean up his step-sister's party as extra punishment she really is the wicked stepmother lady tremaine of cinderella fame from the sounds of it the father has just abandoned his kid with this woman so he's actually worse than her maybe he could move in with his grandparents he would be better off there than with his a-hole stepmom she doesn't even treat him like a mom should oh my god you still haven't gotten it through your head that a birthday isn't something to hold over a child's head when he came and asked you if you cancelled it instead of apologizing and telling him you overreacted and having a conversation like any sane adult would you still used the birthday party as blackmail i promised him if he behaved it would happen two days later what the actual lady get your head out of your ass you're the a-hole in general with him when i was a kid i saved up a bunch of money and bought a game boy basically all the money i had made i had saved until i was eight i loved that game boy my dad knew that i loved the game boy the game boy i had earned and he would threaten to take it away not just if i misbehaved but if i did something he didn't personally like or if i didn't want to do something with him one day he came into my room and i was playing my game boy and he said he wanted me to play a game with my little brother he threatened to take away my game boy if i didn't care he also started to tease me about how i liked the game boy and he could take it away any time he wanted i threw it out the window i learned at a very early age that i would rather not have access to something then have someone hold it over my head posted by user boombox titled would i be the a-hole if i break the promise to donate food to poor people hi all no native speaker on mobile yada yada last saturday morning i was laying in my bed surfing social media i have found a post where an organization kinda unofficial was looking for a person that can drive to a town and buy food for a couple who was out of money and struggling i was somehow nearby like an hour drive and since i know how it is to be poor and hungry and i'm relatively well off now i have decided to help so i went down to the town hit the grocery store they said they couldn't come because of health reasons question mark and i bought food for like one and a half weeks they've been very happy and thankful i was glad to help and i went back home later they wrote me a message thanking me again i told them that if they are ever in this situation again like emergency again i would be glad to help today i received another message from them asking whether i could do this again this month since money is tied again in my country the money comes every first of each month i had a strange feeling my boyfriend says that i shouldn't do it again but i'm a person that stands to their word so would i be the a-hole if i don't donate i guess this is a very broad and interesting one if your gut feeling in this instance is telling you not to i would go with your instincts even if the backlash you know is severe even if it is a true situation if your body and your peers as a result of what you've told them are telling you yo i wouldn't do it i would trust that and then go from there so i don't think you're the a-hole if you don't donate not the a-hole you helped out and can always help out again in the future if cash is too tight you are not obligated to do it every month help out when you can not the a-hole donate when you can and when you want good on you for doing that not the a-hole you volunteered through this organization but did not sign up to be their personal grocery service i would reach out and say you can't do it again right now no explanation or equivocation suggest they contact that org again for assistance info what do you mean by strange feeling op says at the beginning i found it odd they couldn't come with me to the grocery store and help buying the food despite the fact that they're two young men and they refused to call me at the beginning just messaging i thought they're just ashamed now they're asking me to do it again while the groceries i bought aren't even consumed so my feeling or fear is getting exploited by them no a-holes here you fulfilled your initial promise to get them food and did so less than a week ago if you're uncomfortable or worried you should listen to that feeling updates would i be the a-hole if i break the promise to donate food to poor people i love the am i the a-hole updates so here is mine the two guys who needed the food had strange reasons why they won't have enough money this month i didn't believe them and researched stuff and it just didn't add up i talked to the guy who organizes the whole charity thing and he had 1 000 weird reasons why all the factors could still add up it wasn't comprehensible and in the end he just said well but they're still poor so i've had this strong impression that he's kind of just a dreamer with a savior complex so i ended the call and was just ticked i've bought food for like 80 euros 94 american dollars and that's a lot i have followed the poor guy's twitter it was organized over this since i'm curious sometimes and one day they started complaining about people asking why they can't handle money and why they are so organized so there's that there are enough charities so i'm supporting the homeless now since these are the ones who obviously need it the most that's a really weird update but okay if their reasons aren't adding up i would just donate the food you bought to a local food bank i think this is a misunderstanding that's the amount i've paid when i bought groceries for the first time i refused to buy some more after i used to work as a support worker for people in need and unfortunately most of the time poor people aren't good with money there are so many reasons for this vices alcohol gambling video games etc and or mental health issues can both prevent a person from working and also prevent them from budgeting correctly it's a bit infuriating to see someone who can't afford rent and food buying a new tank for their pet python yes that happened but judging them isn't okay because this is how they deal with the crap show that is their lives and money management is a skill that they don't possess and may be unable to possess without help op says i didn't mention it but i asked them whether i can help them budgeting since this is a part of my profession and they refused i'm not judging them for being poor or that they somehow have to cope with their crappy situation nor do i demand an explanation for anything but i expect honesty when they choose to share some information that's why i'm actually taken aback same for the charity guy just be freaking honest with me i think that's just the least thing that they can do in return alright guys that's where i'm gonna end today's video i really do hope you enjoyed it and maybe even learned something that you didn't know before if you haven't already please do feel free to click that like button as it really does help me in the youtube algorithm and if 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Channel: Markee

Views: 14,794

Rating: 4.9342103 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: d4qx0Kz4Wos

Length: 21min 56sec (1316 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 11 2020