- [Sound Man] Put the microphone on ya. - [Interviewer] All right, Denise, Denise, where'd you grow up? Where are you from originally? - I grew up in Kentucky.
- What part? - In Bowling Green. - Hmmm.
Yeah. - [Interviewer] And
how was your childhood? You had both parents growing up? - No. I was in foster homes. - [Interviewer] Foster home. What happened to mom and dad? - Well, so my dad was never, I only met him once. And then, so my mom, she was like, she's always chasing around guys. She's been married lots of times. And my sister pretty much is
the one who was always there for me most of the time. - [Interviewer] How many
times was mom married? - Six. - Six times?
- Yeah. - [Interviewer] Wow. How would you describe your childhood? - Stressful. - [Interviewer] What were
the roughest parts of it? - Well, like, so one of my
first memories is I was, it was Halloween night, like when you go back to your, when you first start major memories, and we were running through the alley, me and my sister and my mom, and her husband at the time
was chasing us with a rifle. And we were hiding behind this wall thing, and we were tryin' to be quiet. And he was like, "Where are you guys at?" And he was chasing us, trying to, I guess they were having
an argument or whatever. And we were always having to- - [Interviewer] Was he playing or serious? - No, he was serious. He ran outta crack. And so we were always like, she was always running from her, they were always abusive. So we were always living
in women's shelters or staying with people, stuff like that. And then, yeah. And then when we moved
to Kentucky, she just, her husband at the time,
we didn't get along, and he told me I have
to, I can't live there. So she, I don't know, she just like went along with him and I went in foster homes. - [Interviewer] And how'd
the foster homes treat you? - I didn't like it. I ran away from every single one. - [Interviewer] Any kind
of abuse when you were either at home or the foster system? - No, I wouldn't call it abuse. Like I did something with one
of the foster lady's brothers, like my foster uncle or whatever. Yeah, but it wasn't abuse. Like he didn't make me, you know? - [Interviewer] Right. - Yeah. - [Interviewer] And how
far did you go in school? - I went to the eighth grade. - [Interviewer] And then
where'd you go after that? - Just got my GED. - [Interviewer] But did you go on your own and try
to make a living or? - Well, no, we were still in Kentucky, and then we came out here, not expected to stay out here, but like, so we came out here and my grandma was getting married again, and we were supposed
to stay for two weeks. And I guess my mom seen a way out from her husband there in Kentucky. So she just left me here and went, flew back and then
caught a U-Haul back here with all our stuff when he was at work. So she snuck in there when he was at work and brought all our stuff here. And we stayed here, and
I've been here ever since. - [Interviewer] What have you been doing? How have you been surviving? - Prostitution. - [Interviewer] Since what age? - I was just about to turn 14. - Wow.
- Yeah. 'Cause my grandma, we were
living with my grandma. She had just got married. She didn't really want us there, but my mom like imposed us. So me and her didn't really, she got mad because I had somebody over. It was like two weeks after we got here, and I didn't really know anybody, but I met this one girl at, no it was a guy, it was a dude, at Coco's Restaurant, or whatever. And we exchanged numbers, whatever. He came over, he was a waiter there, and he came over, and I was just bored. I didn't know anybody here. I didn't have no friends. So she got mad because he
was charging his cell phone, and she embarrassed me. She pushed me down on the ground, and she was like, is he paying for... I said something smart to her or whatever. I got sarcastic. And so then she was like, "Well you can just get the fuck out. "No wonder..." And she just, I had to leave. And so I didn't know anybody. And I didn't really know
anything about California except this guy just picked me
up, and he was my boyfriend, but slash pimp. - Mmhmm.
- Yeah. - [Interviewer] That's common. - [Denise] He pretended to
be my boyfriend for awhile. - [Interviewer] That's how they do it now. - [Denise] Yeah. - [Interviewer] So you've had
more than one pimp or just? - [Denise] I've been
around a lot of pimps, more than one, but I
just was with him mostly. - Yeah.
- Yeah. - [Interviewer] And the
arrangement worked for you or? - [Denise] No, it didn't work for me. - [Interviewer] (laughing)
Tell me why not. - [Denise] It was just a lot of work. - [Interviewer] And how much money did you end up in your pocket? - [Denise] I couldn't, none. The whole time? I wouldn't keep nothing. I stayed with him like over four years, and I got like, I would go, I would get a room every day and McDonald's or something like that and a swap meet outfit. And that was about it, and a sack of weed. - [Interviewer] And just
have sex with guys all day. and not make any- - [Denise] Yeah, I had two shifts. In the morning I worked
the dirty on the Sunset, and the cleaning and Sunset, and at nighttime I worked
down at the bottom. - [Interviewer] Of? Of Figero? - [Denise] No of Sunset. - Oh, Sunset.
- Yeah. - It's a rough life, right? - Yeah, It kinda sucks. - [Interviewer] Does it get you depressed? - Yeah. - [Interviewer] Is that
what gets to you the most? Is it depression or? - Yeah, I don't wanna start crying. - [Interviewer] It's okay. Everybody cries here. - Yeah, it just sucks. Like I wish I could have
been somebody else, you know? Yeah. - [Interviewer] And drugs are part of the picture for you too? - They weren't then, but they became. - [Interviewer] What drugs are you using? - Cocaine. - [Interviewer] Crack or cocaine? - It's the same thing. - [Interviewer] Yeah, but one's- - One you smoke it, one you sniff it. - [Interviewer] But one's
stronger than the other, I think. - Yeah, when you smoke it it's stronger. - [Interviewer] Yeah. - Yeah.
- Which one are you using? - Crack.
- Crack. - Thank you. - [Interviewer] And today
you're still doing it, right? - Yeah. - [Interviewer] On Sunset? - Oh, no, no, no. I work the websites. - [Interviewer] Oh you do it through the internet?
- Yeah. - [Interviewer] Has
that been better for ya? - It's safer, but, it's, it's stressful, too. - [Interviewer] What's
the roughest part of it? - Staying on the phone with
a bunch of bullshit guys just wasting time. Like, I can never put the phone down. It's always, like a bunch
of guys will call me. Okay, I'm coming, I'm on the way. But then I just, so I
just book all of them. I'll be like, okay, come right now. Maybe one will show up. - [Interviewer] Oh really? So they're flaky? - Yeah, they're so flake. And another thing, all the girls are doing
bareback with everybody. And so when the guys
call me, they're like, they're all of 'em, I'd say 90% of them are asking for that. - [Interviewer] Bareback is? - No condom. All the guys that call, because the girls, the
other girls are out there, they're doing that type
of stuff, obviously. And then it fucks it up for me because I'm scared to do that. - [Interviewer] You'd rather not. - I don't care. They'll be like how much extra? And I can't do that. I can't. I feel paranoid that maybe
a prostitute gave it to them and they wanna fuck up
all the prostitutes now. And they wanna spread it around. Who knows, there's sick people out there. And now it's like, I'm struggling because
I can't make no money because of that. They're all, that's what
they're all used to. You know? So it's like now, where do I go from here? I can't survive like this. I have a drug habit, and
it's just getting worse. As depression goes by
because I'm so broke. And then with my criminal record, it's not like I'm gonna
get a job to be able to make enough to survive
out here on my own without doing this. - [Interviewer] Do you
think there's a chance of ever just stopping, quitting? - It's nothing to do with the drugs. I'm only doing the drugs because I don't feel like
there's any reason not to. - [Interviewer] But
let's say, as an outsider watching this as a square, like me, what if you were just to quit the drugs, quit working the street,
get a job at wherever? - Like where?
- Grocery store. - Nobody will hire me. Nobody will hire me. - [Interviewer] Why not? - My criminal past. - [Interviewer] What's on your record? - Everything. - Nothing violent. Just like, embezzlement, commercial burglary, identity theft, drugs,
prostitution, theft, all those type of stuff. Basically just points to me bad. - [Interviewer] And all those arrests were probably based on drugs? - No. Like I went to prison when I was 18. - [Interviewer] Before drugs. - Yeah. - [Interviewer] So the criminal activity- - Like I have to wait seven more years before I can expunge it. - [Interviewer] Oh geez. - Yeah. - [Interviewer] You're in a jam then. - Yeah. It's depressing. - [Interviewer] Did you have kids? - I have two kids. - [Interviewer] And where are they? - With their dads. - [Interviewer] Do you see them? - I see my son once in a while. It's not enough. Not because I can't, because
I'm ashamed to go there. - [Interviewer] Right, yeah. Shame is a big part of all this, right? - Yeah. - [Interviewer] The shame makes it hard to fix anything- - I'm sorry I'm crying. - [Interviewer] It's okay. - I didn't know it was gonna be like this. Talking about my kids and stuff. Can we not talk about them? - [Interviewer] Sure, sure. So what's the roughest
part of this for you? Of doing this? Living this life? - Myself. - [Interviewer] The
depression and the shame? - Yeah. It's like the past is the roughest part. - [Interviewer] To me as an outsider, I've seen the life that
some of these girls lead. Nobody is really on your side. The other girls are competition. The pimps are certainly
trying to take advantage. The cops are even trying to- - Even regular people. - Even like, the guys that pick you up-
- They play like they're your friends. They're not, they're not. - [Interviewer] Do you have any friends? - I did. Both of them died. So. - [Interviewer] How'd they die? - One of them, something
was wrong with his stomach. And then the other one died in his sleep. - [Interviewer] Do you have any respect for the guys that pick you up? - Yeah, it depends on how they are. Depends on if they respect me. - [Interviewer] Some of them are cool? - Some of them are cool. Yeah. Some guys think because they hand you a little few dollars that they can talk to you any kinda way, or they can treat you however, or tell you what to do or whatever. And then I go crazy on 'em. Have you ever seen that movie, "Monster"? - [Interviewer] I don't think so. - Oh, you gotta see it. It's a true story. Did you hear about that girl, that lady, she was a prostitute, she
became a serial killer? - [Interviewer] I think
I heard the story, yeah. - It's a true story. And I feel like I didn't use to have mental issues like this. Well, I've always had mental issues, but I didn't used to be getting so out of control with myself. You know? Like I'm supposed to be on
three different kinds of meds, but I don't like to take the medicine. So I just try to do it
natural control it if I can, because I'm already on drugs. So it's like, I wish I was dead sometimes. Already.
- Have you tried suicide? - Once. - [Interviewer] You need
to get away from this life, somehow. It's just too destructive a path. - Yeah. - [Interviewer] Some girls
seem to be able to handle it, but you have to be so cold
hearted and money hungry that that's all that works for you. Have you ever been in love? - Yeah. - [Interviewer] How'd that work out? - I wish I never had
felt it because he died. You know? So and it, and like now I don't think
I'll ever have it again. Probably not. - [Interviewer] Yeah,
and living this life, it makes it extra difficult, right? - I'm picky. - [Interviewer] Yeah. - It's like, I'm not
gonna find anybody that I wanna be with. - [Interviewer] The girls on the street you think secretly have this hope, wish that one of these guys is gonna magically fall in love and save you. - I mean, I've had it happen, but I would prefer to be with myself, because it's never, it's always something. It's never gonna be the way you want it. It's always gonna be, like, I'm not gonna have nobody to save me. Nobody can save me. Like I can get saved financially, but mentally, I'm not gonna get saved. I'm gonna find some way, something wrong with the situation to where I'm uncomfortable. I have to be in control of everything around me.
- Do you think you self sabotage? - Yeah.
- Yeah. - Definitely.
- Like if some Prince Charming came along and tried to save you- - No, I'd try to tell
him that I'm saving him by telling him to get, you don't want me. - [Interviewer] You'd push him away. - Yeah. 'Cause like I'm not good. Anybody I've tried to be
with, they ended up downhill, down this- - [Interviewer] Yeah, somebody
comes to try to save you, he- - I mean he died. The one guy that really loved me ever, he died. I feel like in some way it was my fault 'cause I stressed him out. - [Interviewer] He died how? - Something was wrong in his, under his ribs or something, but his heart, too. - [Interviewer] But somebody comes along and tries to save you, it's more likely that
you'll take them down rather than they'll lift you up. - I'll try to save them
first by telling them, please just, you don't
want me, you don't want me. And then like, but at the same time, I'll probably end up
needing money from them. And so I call them around or
they come around on their own, and then something, I don't
know why they like me. I'm crazy. I'm a lunatic. I swear, when I get mad. Yeah. - [Interviewer] Do you think
you're addicted to this life? - No.
- No? Do you think- - I've lived another life, too. I've lived, I was married. I was sober for almost six years. I did the housewife thing. - Really?
- Yep. - [Interviewer] Were you happier then? - I was happy with my son, yeah. It was fun. It was fun. - [Interviewer] And are
you saving money now? - No. - [Interviewer] No. Are you working with a pimp now? - No, I'm a pimp if anything. (interviewer laughing) - [Interviewer] No I'm just askin'. - Yeah, I hate pimps. - [Interviewer] You had bad experiences? - They're weak. They just are. - [Interviewer] Yeah, have
you had bad experiences with the guys that pick you up? - Oh yeah. Yeah. Not in a long time, but yeah. Everything. Robbed, raped, stab. Kidnapped, everything. And that's out in Hollywood,
and Hollywood's dangerous. Very. - [Interviewer] I think all the
neighborhoods are dangerous. - Yeah they are, but Hollywood is where there was always something going on. - [Interviewer] You've been arrested, too? - Uh-huh. - [Interviewer] Does your, does family know you're doing this? - Yeah. My mom, she spreads it all around. She tells everybody. - [Interviewer] Does this
undermine your self worth doing this? Does it undermine your self worth? - What do you mean by undermine?
- Just living this life where- - I know I'm worth, I can do better. It's just like the criminal record thing is kind of in my way, a little bit. I can get a job, I can get a job, like in a
warehouse with a bunch of men. Of course I can get a job, but it's like, how's that gonna work out? You know they're gonna be
fuckin' tryin' to do stuff or, and plus I can't survive on that anyway. Who can survive on minimum wage? Nobody can do that, especially here. I mean, I'd be having to, what? Shit, rent a room from somebody. What? The same thing. - [Interviewer] So you started this at 14. Do you recall your very
first time doing it? - Yeah. - [Interviewer] Tell me about that. - It was just, it was on Pacific Coast Highway, and I jumped in this Mexican's van. And did the deed in the van. - [Interviewer] What was
your reaction afterwards? You got good money for it? - I was like, hell yeah. I was excited at first. - [Interviewer] It's tempting
to continue it, right? - Yeah. - [Interviewer] What was
the best time in your life? - When I had my son. When I was with him. - [Interviewer] And what's
been the worst time? - There's been a lot of worst times. I can't pick which one. - [Interviewer] It sounds like
you've been through a lot. - But it could be worse, you know? - [Interviewer] Yeah. - It's always can be, like somebody, I don't mean to sound like happy at somebody else's misery, but there's always somebody that's got it 10 times worse than, when you feel down like that. You have to remember that
it could get, it always, it's not that bad. - [Interviewer] And how do you think living this life has changed you? You've been doing it for a while now. - It's changed me far as my mental health. I'm a bitch to everybody. I don't wanna be around people. I hide from people. I isolate myself. I'm embarrassed. You know? All I think about is tomorrow. - [Interviewer] You ever just stand back and look at what you're doing and go, man, this is such a rough life. - Yeah, what can I, I can go to a shelter,
I can go to a church or something like that, but it's like now my
cocaine habit is so much that if I was to not get high, say like tonight I didn't get high. I would be in a coma, stuck asleep for probably
like a week or two. And I don't have enough
money to pay my rent for that long of a time
if I wanna stop using. I'm not gonna be able to do anything. I'm not gonna be able to work. 'Cause I breathe crack. So just to get it off of the crack is, and to be able to pay my
rent would be stressful. (sighing) - [Interviewer] What advice would you give to somebody who's considering
this line of work? - You only get one life, and be grateful for the life that you have before any of this bad stuff comes, because once it comes your life is like, once the damage is done, it's done. Not even like, just with yourself. Waste of time. I'm mad at myself. You know? Mostly. I can't be mad at nobody else. - [Interviewer] What's
the most important lesson you've learned. - Don't trust anybody. Nobody. Always expect the worst
and hope for the best. - All right.
Are we done? - [Interviewer] Yes (laughing). - Made it short, right? - [Interviewer] It was 21 minutes. Not bad. - Yeah. - [Interviewer] Not too bad. You did great.
- Thanks. Is it still filming? - [Interviewer] It is. - Okay. - [Interviewer] Denise,
thank you very much. - Thank you. That was easy. - [Interviewer] It was easy and painless.
- Yeah. - [Interviewer] You feel a little better? - Yeah.
- Yeah. - [Denise] I don't wanna
go out there with my, is my makeup all messed up? - [Interviewer] No, you look great. I'm gonna give you some
money and make you smile and make your day a little easier. It's the easiest money you've
made all year probably, right? - [Denise] No. - [Interviewer] (laughing)
No, you probably have one twisted guy that gives you like 400 bucks for doing nothing. - [Denise] Yeah, but he's creepy. (interviewer laughing) He is. You asked me some deep
questions (sniffling).
