People Share Their NSFW Life Hacks

what are some nsfw life hacks [Music] use cold water to break down special go instead of warm warm makes it sticky put a pillow under your ass or lower back when having sex people want more details so i'll provide more don't use the pillow you sleep on obviously use a throw pillow or an extra pillow or if you really want they make special hanky panky pillows for this during missionary but it under the ladies ass under the man's ass if doing prone this gives you a better angle and makes things feel a lot better and streamlined for the ladies i've picked up weightlifting for the last nine months doing deadlifts correctly have strengthened my pelvic floor muscles glutes and everything around that area places that even weighted kegels didn't touch sex was great before but it is mind-blowing now i can engage those muscles i didn't know i had the last time i had hanky-panky i had the best orgasm of my life this might also be true for men but as i'm not one i can't weigh in spray four jock itch is the same as the spray for athlete's foot and add two dollars more expensive per can if you're balls itch go with the athlete's foot spray if it looks infected it probably is you're more likely to keep a partner long term with your mouth than with your genitals you are correct if you are good at balancing you can use an office chair as a stepladder in a pinch came to this thread slightly horny if you have diarrhea rub coconut oil on your ass and a scrap between the pooping sessions it makes it so you don't have to wipe as much to get clean because the oil makes a barrier and it keeps your booty hole from getting to the chaft if you are giving head and a pubes in your mouth rather than making it a big deal or having to stop in order to remove it simply lick their inner thigh this is usually a dry area of skin and should remove said pube may very well turn them on further and you don't have to really stop what you're doing don't have hanky panky on a carpet you will get rug i was given this advice in high school long before i was having sex from another friend who was not yet having sex that he got from his friend that did 13 years later and i have upheld this advice if i'm on the floor there's a blanket put a towel down first it's way easier to wash it than strip and remake the bed sheets insider trading is illegal only when you are poor and get caught not really a life hack but girls pee right after having sex drastically helps avoid a ut if she says keep going then keep going and change nothing about what you're doing to make her feel good run for congress if you win you can legally trade stock on insider information you can store a quarter in your foreskin so you always have one if you go to aldi and need a cart if you or you partner has a penis there are companies that will take a cast of it to make a custom dildo if you have to bury a dead body to hide it plant endangered plants on top so it's illegal to get up orgasms are great for getting rid of period pain when a girl says oh god yes don't stop this is not your cue to go super saiyan and jack hammer the frick out of her you will only stall or completely ruin the orgasm she had building but but my woman gets loud when i do this yes but she doesn't come she gets louder because you suddenly went from a comfortable pleasurable speed to jackhammering the frick out of her when a girl says oh frick yes don't stop put your pee pp on goddamn cruise control and turn off your ears to add to this when she comes this is not your cue to go super saiyan and jackhammer the frick out of her either keep going that speed as you may cause a second orgasm in fact unless your girl is really into it never go super saiyan and jackhammer the frick out of her as it's kinda painful for them when you do this find your rhythm and keep going when you are on the cusp speed up just a smidge and bring out your orgasm she will be all kisses and smiles and might even wait for you to get hard again if time permits if you find yourself with an inconvenient boner hold your breath the blood in your throbbing member immediately redirects to your heart and before you know it you're rocking a tic-tac if you put a body in a chemical base it dissolves faster if you're having trouble bringing your girlfriend to orgasm use a vibrator in conjunction with penetration it's hard for women to orgasm from penetration alone clitoral stimulation especially with a vibrator makes it so much easier for any young male who can't control their random boners whenever you get one of those random ones in a bad time flex any muscle all the blood will rush to that flex muscle taking the attention of your general blow on the end of your pp gently to make yourself piss on command if didn't go in smoothly try again don't just cram it in like a barbarian that's how you break your pp it's called the pacman digital stimulation technique to please your lady thummin curled upward with rest of fingers on outside pubic area lots of pressure on pubic reach and do a grabbing motion [Music] you're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together and when you've got your six pieces you gotta get rid of them because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover now is it then i hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs you got to starve the pigs for a few days then the sight of a chopped up body will look like curry toppers head you gotta shave the heads of your victims and pull the teeth out for the sake of the pig is digestion you could do this afterwards of course but you don't want to go see them through pig poop now do you they will go through bone like butter you need at least 16 pigs to finish the job in one sitting so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm they will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes that means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute hence the expression as greedy as a pig you can only do this once but as a person with a penis if you fricked up and pissed off your significant other just do the pp helicopter the next time you have to change in front of them or come out of the shower or whatever that should break the tension you own a pp and always leak some drops of urine into your underwear from the aforementioned after peeing try pressing sliding a pair of fingers against your perineum afterwards that's the spot between your anus and testicles helps empty out the urethra completely additional tip is to wipe it with a paper afterwards i still don't get it why every man doesn't do it always pee after sex plus it doesn't harm to rinse before and after sex if you're going to stand on a swiveling chair when ignoring osha regulations be sure to have 136 532 on hand the maximum fine usher can give out when committing cyber crimes on a work computer be sure to use a non-logging vpn stunt your initial performance and slowly improve it to give your boss the illusion that you are actually improving if having trouble whilst going down on a lady try inserting your finger and curling it upwards particularly around the back of her clitoris then stimulate the front of the with your mouth at the same time i can't say my sample size is very large but every time i've tried this it definitely took her enjoyment to another level never put your dick in a pencil sharpener an emt once told me that the best way to get away with murder would be to administer an insulin shot through a freckle the freckle hides the needle mark to ejaculate and to have an orgasm are two different things if you can actively smell any part of yourself without trying pits crotch all that good stuff then people can smell you so much more so as soon as you catch a whiff of yourself without actively trying to get a smell get a bathroom and wash and spruce up if you can you can use condoms to carry water if you are camping or in a survival situation they are extremely stretchy and can become as big as a human torso in the right conditions also anyway there was a story arc in home and away where several people get stuck in the australian wilderness after their small plane crashed and one character ended up getting pregnant as a result of might as well while we are still alive sex also tampons can be used to plug severe wounds such as gunshot wounds or stab wounds twisting the pp like a it produces a height and orgasm if you feed a moose it may become aggressive and attack the next human it meets if they have no food to offer it may or may have not become my favorite hobby now if you wait until late morning to take your morning dump until you absolutely can't wait any longer you can have morning full of powerful and pungent farts cheap bdsm solutions nylon rope from the hardware store is way cheaper more versatile and safer than kinky handcuffs get yourself a nice expensive collar but a metal leash from the pet store is just as good for the leash part don't buy a gag use her pant his spanking is free a human can fit three raccoons in his anus edit just realized it says life hack and not fact leaving this cause people already responded but oops okay hear me out on this one memorize your partner by touch right now you're thinking what the frick is this person saying whenever you have time and try to hold yourself from getting too horny take your clothes off and the slowly but firmly run your hands over every centimeter this is a unit of measure for those of you who use body organs to measure distances of your partner's body the point isn't to just touch them everywhere memorize the landscape of their skin learn every muscle's position notice the difference in body temperature from one place to another what places are smoother than others it also doesn't hurt to check if your partner has any lumps or something they should be aware of and let them do the same to you afterwards the trust built between you two the serenity of this action it will make you notice and do things later in bed you didn't even know you could sense or do if you lose weight your pp gets bigger but be careful the opposite is also true for men if you press three fingers firmly to that line that runs from your balls to your butthole when you orgasm you can prevent yourself from ejaculating pleasure of orgasm with no semen coming out helpful when you don't want to deal with clean up note not effective birth control method as a guy the book she comes first is a must learn cunnilingus dudes edit a coma for people who have partners with prostate finger in and then try to reach the pp directly from there that's where the spot is massaging gently and only with the tip never with the nails if you dock your genitalia with the opposite genders and wiggle it about you can spawn a whole new life the pp can be used for more than just peeing if you're banging a stranger keep the condom slip it into a pocket or flush it don't leave it lying around source a friend of a friend's hook up took the condom up used it and now he's looking at 18 years of child support payments she admitted to doing this but denies it in court obviously if you find some good porn save it just write down the title in a memo or something your future self will thank you store your hanky-panky toys on top of anything you don't want found when your roommate is trying to pocket cash or your mom pops open the drawer snooping for weed they'll see the sexy stuff and immediately slam it shut again this works for basically anyone in any situation except romantic partners every hole in the body can fit at least one finger when deciding to grow corn don't buy corn kernels or fertilizer wait until there is a family bbq or sporting event there will usually be corn there for consumption only eat the corn very important part once the corn makes its way though your digestive system come a poop into a container and mash it down then after it dries sprinkle the cornflake fesses into the soil water it watch it grow eat it and repeat try putting something in your butt feels good if you go to a party and you realize it is going to be one of those parties you can stick your pee pee in the mashed potatoes [Music] hi there look if you enjoyed the video well why not go ahead and hit that like and subscribe to reddit stories in fact if you want to see even more responses to this thread well then take a look there's the link in the description below and remember show some love to those authors while you're there and i look forward to seeing you next time [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] do [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Reddit Stories

Views: 3,487

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Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best of reddit, emkay, ToadFilms, funny askreddit, askreddit stories, best reddit posts

Id: 24AOMe0Sdx0

Length: 18min 12sec (1092 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 15 2021