People Share Their CRAZIEST DATING Experiences (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit what is the biggest dating WTF you've experienced back in the early 90s my friend set me up on a blind date with a cousin or something can't really remember that part anyway we met at a restaurant and had a decent meal with soso conversation but the weird part was she requested a specific table I didn't really ask why as it didn't bother me occasionally throughout dinner I thought I noticed her doing facial expressions and hand gestures that seemed odd the other thing I noticed after the fact will she made three trips to the restroom when I got up to use the restroom on my way back to the table I noticed that where our table was and where she was sitting at her facing the bar area in that there was a lady sitting facing her on the other side of the bar I kind of thought something was up but shrugged it off after dinner we went to a bar to have a couple drinks I was already getting weird vibes but what the heck we end up sitting at one of the high top tables by the bar and again she sits facing the bar facial expressions and hand gestures start up again pretty quick but this time more obvious she excuses herself to use the restroom again and I notice that a lady kind of meets her there and they go in together they come out together and as my date sits at my table the lady walks pad to the bar same lady from the restaurant now I'm really like WTF so I really start paying attention to what's going on with her expressions and gestures and it becomes very apparent that she is communicating with this lady finally I'm like WTF who is that lady you are communicating with she comes clean and says it's her mother she always tags along on dates once we have a few more and I get to know her it won't be so awkward she just really wants her to settle down so she can have grandkids and wants to be sure the future son-in-law is up to her standards my response waiter check please I paid the tab and hold us I had messaged this girl on POF about seven years ago and we kind of hit it off she was decent looking and we agreed to have a date she gives me the address and it's in the middle of the stingy trailer park across town and already the alarm bells are ringing in my head that I was horny and young so I gave it a shot night was falling and the trailer park was in such shambles that about only ten percent of the places actually had addresses marked on them naturally I get hopelessly lost and in my circling of the roads I'm getting stared down by a bunch of dirty looking yokels who look like they might go inside for their shotguns any moment anyway I decided to call her and when she picked up I couldn't understand a [ __ ] thing she was saying because she had the worst speech impediment I've ever heard in my life so I am driving around with all the wat sorry and the house on the phone when I come across this girl walking down the road in some rolled down sweetpants on the phone and I'm like oh no turns out it was her she hops in I try to find the silver lining in this cloud but I'm unsuccessful we drove to Texas Roadhouse well apparently you need a [ __ ] reservation that time of day because the place is a madhouse and lined up out the door meanwhile I'm trying to keep a casual conversation going working with the bits and pieces I actually understand so wanting to get the date over with as soon as possible I decided to go across the parking lot and eat at both aloe Wild Wings instead I had never been there and did not realize what a huge mistake this was if you've never be vww is allowed echoey sports bar type place i can't understand a damn thing this poor girl is saying but I do notice that a lot of her teeth look sort of mottled and brown gross I focus on my food and try to chew slowly so that I can hear more of what she's attempting to say we finally finish the meal and I Drive her back to the trailer park it was sweetest day and I bought a spice drops because she said in our emails that she had never tried them before so I she snack on them on the drive over which is good because I don't have to try and decode what she's saying when her mouth is full of gummy candy I pull up to her place and literally have my foot on the brake while she opens the door and I'm like okay have a great night internally screaming GTFO GTFO GTFO and this chick i kid you not asks me inside for a conjugal visit and informs me we can kick her mom out for a while I politely refused and she's finally out suddenly she leaves way back into the car catching me totally by surprise and jams her tongue into my mouth I try to maintain my composure as I imagine the state of her teeth she literally forced her tongue past my lips I just sat there for like three seconds with her tongue trying to play with mine like trying to toss a wet blanket before we broke her part I choked a hasty goodbye and got the [ __ ] out of Dodge I tasted hot wings and spice drops for the entire drive back home it was not pleasant I picked her up from her job at the airport first clue shelled bean that she didn't really match her pictures not so much that it was catfishing but she was a lot bigger than her photos suggested she had also been pretty forward when we were texting which I thought was great but seems to have been misleading it's important later we went to this arcade place the evening was fun but I got that gut feeling that everything's not quite right with her I figure I might be overthinking it and carry on later we went to a park nearby it's pretty sizable and we are looking for stuff to do so she suggests we go for a walk and I say sure she's pretty out of shape so we made it halfway up the hill before she had to take a break it's at this exact moment that everything went sideways she said she wanted to suck my dick right there halfway up a hill when it's five C in broad daylight in sight of the parking lot and also the busy road yeah she'd been pretty forward before but I think this might be taking it a bit too far my brain kind of at this point I think the conflict between wanting head and not wanting people to see us just kinda short-circuited everything I just kept repeating that people could see us we head back down and get in the car she asks what else we want to do at this point I just wanted the date to end and tell her I have to get up in the morning and want to go home she's figured out that I'm not interested in another date queue the most uncomfortable 10 minute drive of my life she keeps asking what she did wrong where the evening went wrong why I'm not interested when things were going so well earlier I try my absolute best not to give any straight answers I'm not really a confrontational person and I just want the right to be over he switches to saying I'm not a real man how I'm passing up something great car she's such a wonderful person if I just got that chance to know her how she's the mature one here she also asks if it was because of her accent she was an Indian immigrant who lived here for a few years I barely noticed the accent or her weight she came back to this a few times get back to her work and she gives me another lecture on how great she is and then makes me delete all her contact info which I'm more than happy to do and then says that it hurt that I did that and she needs closure it's been ten whole minutes I think closure takes a little longer than that she texts me five minutes later with the giant old caps paragraph I mainly skimmed it but the general theme was how much of an [ __ ] I am how I promised tonight would go great I was trying to reassure her before the date when she said she was nervous lesson learned don't make promises you can't keep and that I must be gay to pass up a [ __ ] three days later she calls me I pick up the phone it said no tolerate so I figured there's a chance it could be someone else and she asks if it's weird that she misses me I hang up yes it's weird it's a first date she tries calling again and again after that haven't heard anything since thank God my the whole two-and-a-half months we were together we never really defined the relationship but to me we were dating because we had pet names for each other were monogamous I was anyway and assumed he was too and did a lot of romantic stuff together I was in college and had to go home for winter break we plan to spend three days together at his place during the break to make the time apart seemed not so long during this trip he started seeming a little more distant and like he just wanted me gone finally the last day I went back home and texted him that night when I got home to let him know I made it no response the next day I called him and his phone was disconnected I guess because he couldn't pay for it I waited about a week figuring he would call or text me when he got it back on but I didn't get anything I decided to call about a week later and it rang so I knew it was back on but he didn't answer I texted and called some more but no answers I was naive and thought maybe he was having phone problems I used my friend's phone to call him and he answered we had a short conversation where I expressed I was concerned for him because of the phone situation he kind of danced around the questions I asked and he said he had to go so we hung up the next day the day before I went back for the new semester he sent me a text saying he was sorry for ending things the way he did but he was in a a meetings and one step he had was to apologize to those he had wronged first I was shocked to hear he was in a a since he didn't seem to have a problem to me second I wasn't aware there were problems between us third he was telling me this through a text I sent him back a text saying you're really gonna be then asked to end things through text his response was no I ended things two weeks ago when you left and I stopped talking to you this is just me apologizing for it I felt pretty stupid for not realizing it sooner and after several years I'm still bitter about it if I were to see him today I might end up throwing a bottle at his head strapping this one is both mind-boggling and at times hilarious at youth I had been talking to for awhile asks if I wanted to go grab a drink it's the Tuesday and it's already kind of late but I'm like sure we live somewhat near each other so what's one drink as I'm getting a little prettier he asks if I can come pick him up because his car is in the shop the bar he chose is super close to his house so I'm hesitant but su re the roads are not great it's December and freezing out but I get over there first thing was on me I had been talking to two different guys with the same name I had them marked with nicknames in my phone as Ryan one and Ryan - Ryan one was met and was already starting to drop off my radar Ryan - was who I was going to go out with so when I dialed run to tell him I'm outside take a guess as to which one I called that was an awkward minute telling a guy I'd never talked to on the firm that I was outside his house all right so that bleep aside I'd call the correct Ryan and he comes out he looks like he didn't put any effort into his appearance and I'm already starting to wonder if maybe this wasn't worth it then he gets in the car and that feeling is confirmed and hard he [ __ ] reeks of cigarettes with a hint of beer I'm trying not to flinch because I think maybe it's just me I had quit smoking six months before so I knew what it was like to not be able to smell what an ashtray I smelled like but damn we head over to the bar and he's telling me how much prettier rhyme in person how he thinks I am really funny and I'm still trying to get past the smell and how he exhales a lot of air when he talks we go to order drinks and he orders shots plural three to be exact apparently two are for me because he already had one at home and I need to catch up I tell him I don't really do shots and I'm driving so have at it big mistake we got there at like 9:00 and that you'd kept us there until closing the whole time he keeps ordering more drinks and is getting wasted to the point where I think I should just call him a cab and bail because what the [ __ ] who does this finally I get him along and I'm like okay guy I gotta work in the morning how about we call it a night he says fine we get back in the car I Drive back to his house as quickly as possible and as soon as I pop the emergency brake this dude this same dude who literally makes me nauseous to the point where I feel like I can't breathe who is completely clueless to my lack of Attraction grabs my whole [ __ ] head and sticks his tongue straight down my throat I gripped his wrists so hard I'm sure that I broke skin trying to back up and he finally lets go he backs up I is still closed and goes mMmmm he opens his eyes smiles and Boop's me on the nose I spent the drive home frantically searching for gum in my purse because holy [ __ ] he tasted disgusting and when I get there I got one more gift from him he sent me three dick pics with comments like miss you already not my story but my soz I love telling it then not so much happier okay so in the days long before me he was on both he set up a date with a girl who seemed nice enough the setting was a decently nice restaurant he shows up sees her sitting and waiting for their table and is pleasantly surprised that he wasn't catfished however she is dressed for the setting shorts with fishnet stockings underneath and a tank top they sit for a while and talk until the waitress asks them to follow her to their table the chick stands up and she's wearing a tail a wolf's tail he thinks it's odd but he's already there so whatever right she starts telling him stories from high school right off the bat like tons of them they have to send the waiter away three times because she's too busy prattling on about high school they were like 22 suddenly somewhere in the conversation she mentions she's a stripper my so is a little taken aback but being the guy he is says oh that nice after dinner he suggests that they go back to his place to partake in a little marriage manner and he agrees only because his room at his home and he didn't want to shoot her down right there she was dropped off so they ride in his car they get there and start smoking and are generally having a good time all of the sudden she drops just falls to the ground my so manages to catch her in a way where they are now sitting on the ground with her in his lap he yells for his roommate who is diabetic thinking maybe he can figure out wTF is wrong with her suddenly he hears snoring she's asleep then warmth spreading all over his lap yup she peed on him he placed her on the couch which they later had to throw out because of her pee and waited for her to wake up she wakes up a couple of hours later and explains she's a narcoleptic he offers her some pj pants which she refuses she called her friend who took two hours to show up he went to sleep and locked his door and woke up a couple of times to her trying to get in before she left she contacted him for another date which he politely declined back when I was about 20 years old I decided to try my hand at online dating this was at a time when the idea of meeting people over the Internet was less commonplace than it is now but I did manage to connect with a young woman who seemed at first glance like she might be a nice companion she was tall and slender she came across as being both fiercely intelligent and incredibly witty and she wrote in a way that implied an appreciation for directness and rationality she also had impeccable spelling and grandma for which I have a somewhat unhealthy fondness even our interests were similar needless to say I was practically smitten the two of us exchanged about a dozen letters before deciding to meet in person and when it came time for our date I was feeling more than a little bit excited if I had known what would happen though I would have asked for the check with my meal see at first we rehashed things that we'd already discussed and that quickly gave way to new topics one of which was childhood experiences which is when things started to go off the rails I can remember she told me going to McDonald's as a kid and ordering a happy meal just for the toy me too I replied with a bit of embarrassment fortunately I grew out of that compulsion my date nodded her agreement yeah I wouldn't even finish the meal I'd take maybe three bites of the burger leave the fries into shade and then tell my mother that I was full I never had a problem finishing my food I answered it wasn't the most interesting of conversations that I was having a good time well I grew out of it said my date I went through basic training when I was 18 and they forced me to always finish my meals now I can eat an entire Big Mac without stopping her eyes brightened and she leaned forward what's your favorite McDonald's burger she asked now I like a good burger hell I love a good burger a bacon cheeseburger with fresh crisp onions and firm tomato slices might be my favorite meal but as far as I'm concerned McDonald's does not serve burgers McDonald's sells copious amounts of salt and sugar that have been molded to look vaguely like a meat based sandwich I don't really eat at McDonald's I said but I do like you don't eat at McDonald's the urgency and the shock and my dates voice caught me off guard no not really I said again not if I have a choice in the matter this for some reason was the wrong thing to say from that moment on I was treated to nothing but averted eyes and monosyllabic responses each time that I tried to start the conversation back up I found myself faced with a glare that would have made Medusa jealous even my attempts at finding out why McDonald's was so important to the girl were entirely fruitless and by the end of the afternoon I was worried that I'd somehow claim to be an artsy the two this parted ways immediately after the meal was over without her so much as saying goodbye I never heard from the young woman after that the one ml I sent in which I apologized for offending her but expressed my bewilderment as to how I'd done it received no response I've had people suggest that she was a stealth marketer of some sort but there just doesn't seem right even so sometimes I do still think of her when I hear that stupid jingle what a perfect question to answer for my first reddit comment get ready folks this story of bizarre I go to the gym six days a week I've seen this one guy on a handful of occasions and each time I saw him he would smile as I walked by tall muscular just overall really handsome guy one day to my surprise he introduced himself as I was about to leave he asked me for my phone so he could put his number in very direct approach but okay so I text him he was pretty to the point in his replies we didn't make much conversation before he asked when can I see you next I said either that same day Wednesday or Saturday he says okay swing by tonight and we will go from there I figure he means go to his place then go somewhere to eat after cool normally I wouldn't go meet someone at their place especially if I don't know them but again I thought we would just be using that as a meeting point we decided to meet at 7:00 around 6:50 I let him know I'm about to leave to which he proceeds to tell me not yet running a little behind at this point I'm annoyed why wouldn't you tell me you were running behind sooner a bit inconsiderate but I figured something they have come up he tells me to meet him at 8:00 instead I and get their a date and he's still not there I call him because he had given me the address to the complex but didn't tell me what building or number so I call he gives me instructions and says he will be there in five key detail I had not eaten since 2:00 so I was so hungry and ready to get going well he gets there maybe 15 minutes later at this point I should have just left but nope blinded by his good looks I guess we walk into his apartment it's nice but smells of weed not a problem I'm just not a smoker I tell him how hungry I am he says he is too and he is going to make us pastor nice gesture but that would take at least 40 minutes I thought I'd stick it out though Allah knows we might really get along while this guy was just as bland as he was over text I was starting all the conversation / asking all the questions I'm a pretty outgoing person but I just felt so awkward this guy was not interesting at all and didn't understand my witty humor either cringe he proceeds to take a dab of weed I'm sorry I don't know technical terminology and tell me he was going to take a shower and to make myself at home what the [ __ ] okay I really should have left at this point but I was so hungry and he was starting dinner fettuccine alfredo with shrimp so I figured I would eat then dip while he's in the shower i watch house hunters because i love that show he finishes and continues cooking he proceeds to tell me to pick out a movie so we watch some trailers he doesn't really say much to me doesn't make any moves either just there keep in mind it's around 9:30 at this point so I'm watching a trailer while he cooks in the kitchen open-concept and small apartment so I could see him he could see me lights were off except for some lamps I then look over because I hear no noise and see he is no longer in the kitchen he must have gone to get something from his car as the bathroom door was left ajar and all the lights were still off welcome 9:45 I'm concerned where is this guy so I call out insert our Souls name here and he goes I'm in the bathroom for 15 minutes with the lights off and door ajar and I didn't even notice the Glover phone in the bathroom nothing WTF I get up and see the pastor an shrimp had been cooked but hadn't been mixed together it's almost 10:00 p.m. at this point this guy had been sitting on the toilet for 30 minutes finally I decide to get my ass out of there I say hey so I'm gonna go and from the bathroom he calls out yeah I'm having stomach problems sorry boy was in the bathroom for about 30 minutes and I sat there like an idiot on his couch I should have packed up a container with some food because I still had not eaten I have not seen him at the gym since this was last week and he never texted me or apologized if I see him I'll be sure to ask so how's your our soul our soul this international student from my college class had been flirting with me non-stop and trying to walk with me as much as he could it wasn't really sweet it was more invasive but I'm a shy pushover so I never said anything and just let him basically follow me all over campus and tell me literally going into my next class was the only way he disappeared law a few times he even walked me all the way home despite my constant clues have no need to I'm fine and thanks maybe another time and bTW his English was perfect so it wasn't a language barrier anyways he finally summoned the courage to ask me out and I thought why not at least give the poor guy a chance maybe he's more decent outside of school and in another setting we set up a day and time the day comes he's supposed to pick me up a date okay it's 8:00 so I head downstairs and oddly enough he's just sitting on top of his car's hood I hesitantly and jokingly asked him car trouble and he said no I've been here since 4:00 and it didn't make sense to keep the car running in thinking 10 million things but finally blurt out what why have you been here since 4:00 he responds I was just wanting to be close to you luckily I could see you through the window every so often and knew when you were getting ready so panel or bread sound good I just had enough at that point and moderately scolded him why this was wrong in so many ways I still feel bad about it to this day but how could someone not understand normal privacy in social etiquette I told him from that point on there were to be no more walks no more waiting for me after each and every class and definitely no more showing up or visiting my apartments he was hurt it was clear but I thought he mostly understood and got the message a week later I saw him walking around the sidewalk that had my apartment buildings and just shrugged it off thinking hoping maybe he was there visiting a friend but deep down I knew he wasn't especially since I saw him several more times all at different places but all within a certain radius from my apartment / I tried not to think about it or be concerned because the semester was almost over and my lease was about up I figured I would move out swiftly and quickly and get away from him forever which is what I thought I did then a few months pass and he found me on Facebook I didn't know he had one he left me a message the size of the Bible revealing the love he had for me and how much he missed me how he forgave me for hurting him that one horrid day in the parking lot and how we were meant to be together the message included all these pictures of animals cuddling or puppies licking each other or baby kittens climbing on one another then there were several photos where he cut out his face and put it in a picture with me of ones I had posted on my profile I didn't even respond just clocked him immediately and also blocked his friends that I knew of thank God several years had passed and he never contacted me again now whenever a guy gives me a bad vibe I'm not even nice or waste time with pleasantries I just boldly say I have a boyfriend and cut off further conversation like that it makes me feel rude or like a bad person for not letting down guys more gently but when I'm nice is when the crazies take advantage I was too nice to this psychopath and when someone is so mentally unstable they take everything literally and with 100 x's more meaning looking back I had a stalker and probably should have filed a restraining order it's amazing how much you grow from college to well five years later law but damn that was definitely one I think about every now and then thank you so much for watching the whole video please leave a like and subscribe

Channel: Slime King

Views: 78,342

Rating: 4.8047881 out of 5

Keywords: high school, reddit stories, askreddit funny, askreddit scary, reddit top posts, askreddit comedy, comment awards, askreddit, top posts, dankify reddit, brainydude reddit, tz reddit, r/, askreddit creepy stories, toadfilms, reddit and chill, middle school, middle school cringe, teacher, pupil, parrents, tantrum, askreddit friends, askreddit secrets, askreddit parents, family secrets, askreddit kids

Id: yqOzPxnsCdQ

Length: 29min 13sec (1753 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 28 2019