Parents, What's The Wierdest Thing You Caught Your Kids Doing?

parents offered it what is the weirdest thing you caught your children doing when my son was about four he was playing in his playroom I was on the couch and heard some sounds behind me it was just us so I turn and see my son looking up at the light fixtures and whispering I asked what he's doing his response I'm asking all the light bulbs in the house to not fall and kill you thanks son he's truly got my back I would watch my background that kid found my kid talking to the hole in the sink when he was 2 turns out that's where he said God lives carry on your weirdo X's eldest hoarded cardboard tubes if asked there was simply for later the youngest adopted and formed a strong emotional bond with a garlic for about a week I used to think that a benevolent creature lived in the tub drain I got this idea that all the water would drown him so when I pulled the plug from my bathtub I would sit there and SWAT the water away from the drain so it all went down slowly enough not to drowned a good guy few years ago the cinnamon challenge was a thing walked into the door to my son with his head under the kitchen faucet galloping and spitting water he accidentally grabbed the cumin instead of the cinnamon I mean I don't think the cinnamon would have been much more pleasant when my son was about three years old he liked to wash his eyebrows with my facial cleanser just the eyebrows wet lather rinse repeat he said it made them nice and soft as the son mentioned in this comment I can confirm that my eyebrows were indeed super soft my boys share a room they were about two and seven at the time and I walked in their room and found them rocking on their hands and knees singing we are I really the whiner dudes I have no frickin idea seems pretty self-explanatory they were the whiner dogs not my child but I've caught my sister doing multiple strange things as a child the two most notable were I once caught her playing with a bag with yellowish liquid inside when she was 10 she had pulled this bag from the side of her backpack I asked her what it was it was her own pee she had been keeping it in there for days and once in a while she'd call its out go play with I was horrified when she was 8 she cut off her dolls hair dismembered it and gave it a funeral which she made all of us attend she went to dig it up several days later but it wasn't there she's done many other things but those were the two weirdest things she did packin peas from our garden up her nose this required a trip to the local hospital emergency room where the doctor a dad of several young children himself thought it was hilariously funny soon my wife and I were laughing as well when my little brother was 3 he's 25 now he stuck an M&M up his nose the doctors said to just let it melt the Baba sitter was quite concerned when red and then brown started dripping out of his nose for a while our family joke that M&Ms melt in your nose not in your hand the M&M slogan at the time was they melt in your mouth not in your hand I woke up to my five-year-old spraying Windex on the window beside my bed cleaning it thoroughly then nodding at me and moving on to cleaning the windows in the next room I still don't know what the heck was happening she was cleaning the windows obviously we caught my son's maybe six and three at the time both sitting on the toilet together one behind the other pooping they told us it was a double poop we forbid them from ever doing that again we forbid them from ever doing that again that just means they most definitely did it again my brother decided he wanted a pee hat which is literally what it sounds like a hat he could pee in during the night while already a stupid idea since he didn't empty it he chose a plastic hat with hole in it edit it was a toy construction when my brother-in-law was 3 he was so obsessed with a toilet plunger they had to buy him his own so he'd stop grabbing the used one it was his best friend once my cousin took her preschooler to our version of the dollar store and let her pick something for everyone in the family for a Christmas present she bought my uncle her grandfather a plunger he spent most of that Christmas with it stuck to his bald head he is a good sort my 5 years old nephew went to feed the chickens yesterday I told him to get a hat he came back fully naked with gum boots and a straw hat on apparently the last time he went to the chicken house they pecked at his junk and he wants to show them that it's not big enough to eat yet kids are weird packing turds into cardboard tubes with toilet paper and hiding him under the sink she called them poop bombs there was like 10 of em under there let's see my daughter was drinking strawberry milk and then spitting it back into the cup so she could drink it again I had hosed off a tarp and it was drying on the patio we went outside and she just stooped down and took a drink out of a puddle on the tarp just today I was in the garage and she came out instantly grabbed a toothbrush I used to clean car parts and stuck it in her mouth I don't even know anymore she's going to have a color immune system or tetanus one of those for sure my mom caught me bringing eggs from the kitchen into my room and sitting on them in a blanket nest hoping they'd hatch what she didn't catch was that I had been doing this for a while and would put the eggs back into the fridge when they wouldn't hatch after a few days I did this too I also used to put them in socks and leave them under my bed for a while because I thought that would hatch them I would check on them every day for progress and when nothing happened back to the fridge they went when my daughter was little old ladies would come over and enthusiastically ask her simple questions like what's your name and she would always reply in flat monotone birthday cake then they'd ask another question like oh well how old are you and she'd say birthday cake they would look over at us with great concern so annoying I went through a phase where if the house phone rang I would Rais to it answer it and shout hello this is lollipop then I started to tell anyone on the street or in a store that my name was lollipop my mom got so tired of explaining to strangers that no my birth name was not actually lollipop lol I was the child I was in my backyard and noticed there were a lot of slugs around since it had been raining I was concerned that they had nowhere to go and they would be stuck outside where they would drown in the rain so I went to the garage and got have been and went around collecting every slug I could find then I got the idea to make it into a miniature city I put in water ma sticks etc and it became a project of mine that I maintained for weeks well one day my mom walks outside for whatever reason and finds me holding have been that's just full of slugs she made me put them back and hose have been down I was P I lost all my hard work when I was a kid I made this super cool terrarium Finke with all kinds of stuff and brought into my room I even collected several praying mantis egg things during the fall to let hatch in it come spring turns out they don't hatch based on the date they hatch based on temperature I ended up with hundreds of baby praying mantises in my bedroom my mom was not pleased I'm not a parent but my niece was very upset that her older sister wouldn't turn the TV over when I was babysitting once after about 10 minutes she pretended to be interested in the washing machine that was on at the time and sat in front of it and watched it like a TV for an hour and 20 minutes her older sister watched the rest of her film but obviously wasn't enjoying it she was outraged that her little sister was having a great time watching wet clothes spin round and round it's the most creative act of revenge I've ever seen my nephew is three years older than my daughter she followed him everywhere when he was about four nearly 5 he sat in front of the unlit wood stove to watch it she copied him and he got up smiling and went to the table she sat there still looking at the wood stove he used that trick a few more times when my son was 3 years old we noticed the smell of burnt plastic coming from our heater vents I called one of our friends that works in Heating and Cooling and he came over our furnace was an hour crawlspace so he went down about 15 minutes later he asked me to hand him three black garbage bags one of the vents so I did so he came up later with three bags of plastic toys I had wondered where all my son's toys were going I asked my son why he was putting toys on the vents he said mommy there are alligators down there and if I don't feed them my toys they'll eat my sister I would have fed my sister to the vent alligators rather than lose all my toys you're raising a kind kid I saw my kid who was 4 in the backyard looking for bugs or worms he grabbed something and put its in his mouth I asked him about a few minutes later he said he ate a worm I laughed and asked why he said he wanted to know what it tasted like so I asked what did it taste like he said it tasted like mud the next day I asked him if he really ate a worm he replied yeah and the most defeated intemperate way any human could you'll live you learn a I kept finding dead worms in kids pockets while doing laundry then I noticed that while I had him help me in the garden he would pick the worms up kiss them and put them in his pocket he told me he does this because he loves them I convinced them that the worms are happier in the ground he has started putting them back on the ground after kissing them one coating himself in the entire bathroom in an entire brand-new industrial sized garlic powder from Costco to having a snow day with his friends after unzipping the giant beanbag chair one vampire proofing - sounds like a blast it's not a parent but when I was a kid I used to prefer to poop in the park closest to my house instead of at home I used to wonder who cleaned up my poop every day because the poop was always gone by the next day after months of doing this I found out a neighbor mom was the one who kept cleaning up my poop I was made poop one sunny afternoon when I saw her walking towards the park from her condo across the road with a baggie probably because she had a chore every day that included going to the park to clean up my poop before her children could go play but I was squatted atop the playground in one of those wooden cubicles at the top of a slide peering out through a crack between the wooden pillars watching the neighbor mom coming close trying to finish my poop at a rapid pace I finished my book didn't wipe because I was a disgusting child pooping in a park yanked my pants up and flew my poopy butt down the slide and booked it through the field to home base raced through the door and continued to live my best life until there was a knock on the door my mom answered the door and to my horror there was neighbor lady and she and my mom had a long talk and outside on the front step when my mom came and she looked at me with pure disgust and said no more pooping at the park my elder brothers friends were over and and overheard my mom scream that at me they demanded to know the whole story then when I started kindergarten one of the children of the poop picker-upper neighbor mom was in a great ahead of me and recognized me and told everyone what I had done I was and always will be the park pooper a little girl I was babysitting was slowly stirring her bowl of chocolate ice cream and tomash I asked her what she was doing and she replied very seriously I'm making poopoo for God to put in people's bottoms dude what the frig when my son was first learning to talk my mom kept saying just wait until he learns to say no like really building up the anticipation well I opened my eyes one morning to my beloved child three inches from my face and staring at me as soon as he sees I'm awake he loudly and dramatically whispers no I still feel like he was letting me know that whole phase had started what an announcement kids got some star quality when my son was three he had night terrors for a few months at least that's what I suspected I was really concerned the most unsettling thing he did wasn't waking up sobbing though sometimes he would wake up around midnight walked to where I was stare at me and then walk back to bed he wouldn't respond to me and just sit on his bed while staring at the ground if I tried to comfort him he would become angry and violent next morning he'd be his normal self at that time he would often ask if ghosts were real we never exposed him to anything with that sort of content I'd try to reassure him that they were just imaginary he would insist that they were real sometimes it's night he will call me to his room and say someone was there I was freaking out a little not just by the idea that my child was seeing strange crap but that he might be suffering from psychological issues my wife insisted that this wasn't something to be concerned about she's a psychologist and I respected her opinion but I just couldn't stop worrying I felt like I needed to help my kid anyhow it became less and less frequent and stopped altogether for the most part he still asks about and insists that ghosts are real from time to time but he isn't scared just night anymore maybe he befriended with them my youngest daughter was about 18 months old she had about a week before discovered how to climb out of her own crib also about a month before she had once taken off her own diaper not a repeat event but a one-time thing my mill was visiting us and we were all slow to wake up around 7:30 the baby monitor alerted me that my daughter was awake but happy and content in her crib I let my wife sleep in and I grabbed a quick five minute shower before going to grab her when I got there she had put the two pieces climb out of crib and take off diaper together and used them to repaint her room I will never recover from the trauma of this smell three-year-old daughter would dig through the garden or under backyard objects to find pill bugs wood lice and then bring them to us when they rolled into a ball my wife and I would feign interest and tell her that they would stop rolling up into a ball once she left them alone a while back my wife had given her a small unused makeup bag one summer night I caught her whispering into the makeup bag right before bedtime I asked her who she was talking to she said she was talking to all the Beatles that didn't want to stop being balls I looked inside the makeup bag was full of dead pill bugs at least thirty of them she had been collecting them and trying to talk them out of their bald position that's oddly endearing this may be my favorite story not yet a mother but I am the eldest of four when I was in high school I had a bathroom in my room very important to specify it wasn't my bathroom you just needed to go through my room to use it that said one day my youngest brother probably around six at a time was pooping and being young had no shame so the door was wide open I walk into my room to see he had taken all of the cardboard tampon applicators out of the trashcan and billed extended fingers with them I could not stop laughing as I told him to take them off my son did that when he was about five he came out of the bathroom with tampon applicators on his hand made them extend and said mommy I'm Wolverine my three-year-olds first joke was hey look at my armpit and she would point at her armpit and laugh but she would do this over and over they warned you about first steps and first words but first joke I am a proud dad edit thanks for the gold I'll give my daughter a gold star tomorrow I found my son and his cousin absolutely coated in calamine lotion they'd obviously found it being four and six years old they decided to do a bit of finger painting with it I get that but I don't entirely understand why his pants were off yes his penis had calamine on it too being that it was the 90s I do have a hilarious picture of him posing together with their Callie ie body art , I get that but I don't entirely understand why his pants were off obviously so his pants wouldn't get messy not a parent but when I was younger I caught my sister crapping on the carpet she hadn't had an accident and a little bit ended up on the carpet she was full-on crapping on the carpet needless to say my parents weren't too impressed when I was with an ex we took a road trip to see some of his friends about six hours away and stayed the night his friend's four-year-old daughter and eight-year-old son pooped under the BB Q table in the pantry and on the oven door not a parent but my little sister used to do pretty weird stuff she used to lay over the side of the couch so her head was upside down and drool spit down her face until it filled her nose she said that it would go through her nose back into her mouth like a circle okay all the rest of the stuff here is cute or funny sometimes sad this is legitimately weird my eldest son was about three or so and was using one of those play kitchens he had a little pot on the stove and since I wanted to be an engaged mother I asked him what he was doing I'm cooking baby Jesus he had indeed taken the baby Jesus figure out of one of my mother-in-law's nativity scenes and had put him in the pot to cook Holy Infant so tender and mild I used to sleepwalk when I was younger I once walked downstairs and locked myself in a closet my mom woke up to me screaming downstairs in the dark I was like four years old I left my kids to go grocery shopping for about 30 minutes and in that time they locked themselves in a dark closet for the entire 30 minutes I was so disappointed in them I really wonder about my eldest I threw up in the hallway once when I was a kid because I couldn't make it to the bathroom I told my parents in the middle of the night and went back to bed I was four at the time I heard my dad say did she say she threw up last night about a second later I heard him fall he said yep and I just fell in it not a parent but my dog threw up in the bathroom during the night I got up to pee steps in it and slid right across the floor into the wall I feel your dad caught my v yo son smashing his privates between the toilet lid and seat also have a three yo son that needs an audience while he uses the bathroom and he'll often start laughing b/c he has no penis b/c he's pressing on it to try making it an innie it kids are weird any penis is a real albeit rare it's called inverted penis toddler was making soup in a kitchen pot comes up to me and says taste mama it's pea soup and I take a pretend spoonful and say YUM good and then she goes oh I have to make more and puts the pot on the floor and squats over it and pretends to pee in it while making a pee sssshhh sound hey it was pea soup this for some reason remembered the time when the Brazilian president asked what is a golden shower eighties kid here for those of you who didn't live in the dark ages there was this heinous medicine called methylate it was a mercury based antibacterial agent often bright pink or bloody orange in color whose cap had a plastic rod dipping into the medicine as an applicator one morning before my parents had woken up probably 1983 ish I was wandering about the house tripped and skinned my knee on the floor being the big boy I was I went under the kitchen sink and pulled out the Windex it had the same applicator inside that the methylate did and I spent the morning dabbing window cleaner on my skinned knee until my mom came into the kitchen and saw what I was up to there was another such early morning of little me hijinks in which I was alone in the living room after the adults had an evening of beer and board games they left the table pretty much as is when they likely stumbled off to bed I came along and figured this was my chance to be like the big people I pulled a cigarette out of the pack and sat there sucking on the filter while having conversations with myself and moving the sorry board game pieces around my mother again came out saw this and started cracking up seventies kid in Australia it had a much cooler name mercurochrome apparently I drank some when I was little and it explains a lot I used to live in a very old-fashioned area ten years ago I nearly died off shocked when I saw some on the pharmacy shelves weird crap my oldest when he was three one stroke to walks out of his room with a big rolled ball I thought nothing of it as they lil bro too had a little play doh station and were playing nicely while I was cooking he proudly holds it up and tells me look at my ball Olson then announced loudly it's a poop ball cue the slight horrified look and immediate washing scrubbing and locating of anything played with if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check 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Channel: On Tap Studios

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Keywords: parents, parents stories, caught in the act, weirdest, weird, awkward moment, parenting, parenting hacks, parenting teenagers, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: sh0o5pz2brY

Length: 22min 14sec (1334 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 18 2020