Parents, What's The Creepiest Thing You Found Out About Your Kid?

parents of Reddit what is the weirdest or creepiest thing you found out about your child but you never will tell them that you found out I overheard my eight-year-old nephew tell his friends that he tasted his pee he said it was salty his friends were like oh it tastes a bit like liquid play-doh I was with my dad when he found my brothers peace stash on our computer my dad just clicked out of it and did nothing also my brother had horrible taste back then they were the biggest fattest boobs you could imagine found my little brother watching a youtube video called Sonic and Amy kiss him when he saw me he started yelling at me to go away and closed the door he was 6 at the time sorry for your loss you know the game at the carnival where if you throw a ring on to a glass bottle you get a prize and sometimes there's a special bottle and you can win a giant prize my kid won this giant panda bear it was like 4 feet tall it was huge well that was a few years ago once while he was 12 I was helping my wife put away laundry while the boys were outside playing I walk into my son's room and he wasn't outside playing naked as the day he was born with his business stuck in a hole in the Panda humping it like mannered that poor poor Panda is this the origin story of vessel harassment Panda I am Korean but I speak conversational Korean I can get by with most people but I'd poop at an interview I was 16 and lounging in my chair ready to bust a nut I pull up this hat a game that had some sweet VFX and fill up half the screen and the other half with some of my favorite pee I was an interesting kid who shoved highlighters and pens up his butt when he was 10 even tried to three ice cubes I stopped whacking it and I am enjoying myself like this is the crap and I hear my mom coming in to give me food in a frantic anxious effort I fumbled for my monitor turned that crap off she definitely saw what the heck was going on and ran at my mother with my dong to shove her out screaming that she was interrupting my school project all the meanwhile she was confused and disoriented screaming in broken English my special son I am so sorry oh my god project yes my son project I leave food on table we never spoke about that night again my special son I am so sorry oh my god project yes my son project I leave food on table this is the best part up you go not my child but my nephew he made a drawing of an Easter Bunny that had been shot by another cartoon character I asked him why did that guy shoot the Easter Bunny and my nephew said because it made him feel good I do lots of things because they feel good sir Suri Lannister I remember when I was kid I hated when my mom used to clean up my room I always enjoyed my privacy and didn't like when my mom cleanse up my room especially because she would get mad at what a mess there was I also collected few P magazines that was before internet and kept it in my wardrobe under the socks one time I get back from school and my room is cleaned up I opened a wardrobe and saw my clothes nicely put in order and a shelf with socks and a mess just like it was I go angry to my mom and I ask mum did you clean my room yes she couldn't maintain eye-contact I asked you mum not to do that ok I won't anymore being 12 year old little dong I knew she found it and it was more awkward for her than for me if you didn't clean my room ever again but she forced me to do it myself my friend in high school used to leave his camera out to get his mom to stop cleaning his room and finding his weed my mother had walked in on me fapping to a cookbook several years ago I didn't turn around but I could smell her perfume she thinks I don't know to be fair food as vivacious as frake my grandma once told me that when my aunt was but a child she heard noises coming from my aunt's bedroom at night when she came in the light was on and my then three or four year old aunt smiled at her look mommy I painted the house there wasn't any actual paint in that room though she had smeared the walls with her own crap what a frag a few years ago I used to use my nephew's phone to take pictures of my drawings because he had an iPhone while I had a piece of crap flipped phone at the time anyway one day I was using his phone and a text came through I read it out of pure curiosity and being nosey turns out he was sending a girl he knew pictures of my drawings claiming he drew them not really weird or creepy but funny I never put him on blast for it till that girl who the real artist is in score semi-related once accidentally opened a forgotten stash of pee while browsing a shared laptop with my mom four pictures of our close family friend who had just died in a freak accident hard parameter homemade bee penetration BJ's cm on the face my parents had just divorced a year or two earlier around when we'd gotten the laptop and my mom had a weird thing against pee in general so I immediately said it must be his hidden stash she believed me but that also apparently struck her curiosity so she insisted on us going through the pictures and looking at them to see what he was into I kept saying no no I'll just delete them but she wanted to see more because she was shocked he'd be interested in such young girls as they were all in the 18 20 year-old range which made sense for me considering I was in that range whereas he was in his 40s being oblivious to how internet pee works she said she wanted to see if she recognized any of the girls I think it was weird I was so panicked I don't remember specifics really my mom has always treated our relationship more like a friendship than parenting though so that's the story of how I shared a pee viewing session with my own mother oh and this all happened while we were sitting in a coffee shop for the free internet I guess this isn't really related at all the stories had just reminded me of that previously buried memory probably when my parents found a picture in our house of my dead uncle bill he was naked and his dong was out behind my bed when my uncle died when I was 4 years old we went to his house and took what we wanted to keep he died when I was 4 and we went there when I turned five I found a picture of him standing in his bed room naked I don't think his dung was hard but I can't remember a whole lot anyway I was just discovering myself and whatnot first started masturbating when I was four and I kept it I didn't have any real physical appeal to it just curious about it so back at home late at night when everyone was asleep I would put my covers over my head and pick my pillow up where there was this photo of mine naked until I had a little flashlight and I would just look at it for a while before putting it back under the pillow and falling asleep one day it fell behind my bed and I looked for it and it was gone I know it was under the bed now because a week later my parents asked me if I had a picture of my uncle they found one behind my bed I had shared a bunk bed with my brother who was a year older but I don't think they suspected him I feigned ignorance about the picture though they of course didn't say he was naked or show me it but I knew it was the only one I had of him so that must have been a little weird their five-year-old daughter with a picture of her naked uncle but he was naked and his dong was out behind my bed I interpreted this wrong I checked my twelve-year-old daughters internet history and two questionable things popped up top ten signs your dog is dying our dog is fine never has shown any signs of sickness and a bunch of flash games where you are a nurse for pregnant famous cartoon characters like Elsa or Monster High or whatever that looked like they've had the crap beat out of them and you clean them up and help them have babies very freaking disturbing yet completely normal to her she loves those games I think jontron played those games recently this is something that my parents don't know that I know they know when I was a kid I had some issues at school a teacher asked me to draw a picture of my family which I did in that picture I was bowling with my family the only problem was that I had drawn the picture with my older brother shoved into a bowling pin and I was throwing the ball at him a couple of days later I was sent to spend an hour with my parent's friend who I realized 15 years later was a child psychologist now my parents have never brought this up to me I only know this because of memory I've pieced together that's gotta be weird feeling to see your kid with supposed hatred towards your other kid my brother and I have had our issues as all brothers do but we get along well enough I hate that my parents had to go through that I'm surprised that they reacted at all kids feeling negatively towards their siblings isn't that weird found out my son was masquerading online at seven years old as a girl it got into forums and little groups tumblr and whatever else he could find also he could exploit dudes for free Lego stuff I stumbled on a messenger conversation where he had been talking and p.m. is about nonsense and twelve-year-old girls stuff where he'd pretty much been hanging out in all these places and using frisky dudes to send free legis to the house and all that happened on a pretty lockdown computer just goes to show those parents out there your kids likely know more than they'll let on I mean he was seven and writing out blog posts about mimic and made-up middle school drama we talked about it and within 30 seconds he said no I'm not a girl but if I pretend I'm one everyone's nice to me and they give me their old LEGO sets your son is a genius like legitimately when I lived with my dad he forbid me from closing my door plus he had tons of stuff in my computer room or always made an excuse to come in the room he walked in on me masturbation at least three times and always would just walk in look at the screen look at me then stay in the room to do whatever he was doing it was so weird it almost seemed like he wanted to happen upon it Jesus um this is not normal I hope you know that cleaned the toy closet where my five-year-old niece had all her toys found naked Barbies positioned like they were freaking that's totally normal I didn't have a Ken doll cell wall my Barbies we're lesbians on behalf of my stepdad I have a story when I was a teenager I literally got into an pee contest with a couple friends it started with us trying to to fill pop cans with a bladders worth of P but progressed to wine bottles and whatever rather container we could get our hands on it wasn't long before this became a deranged collection of pee bottle trophies filling an entire bookcase in the spare room of my parents house well my stepdad I'm discovered this one day he refused to say how he figured out what the bottles were filled with and made my friends and I hold the bottles out and dispose of them we hid them in the forest oddly the next day we checked on them and they were all smashed stepdad swears he didn't do that I suspect some poor sap discovered the bottles weren't filled with wine either my parents found my sister's piece - but I got blamed for it my sister was like 14 15 at the time and had save an impressive amount of Yowie and other weird animated Japanese pee on the computer primarily of homoerotic nature they thought it was mine as I am their openly gay son my sister to this day thinks it's hysterical I was 14 one time after a glorious late night masturbation session I Jackie elated and immediately fell asleep with my semen drying on what I call my cm catcher which is the space between your pointer finger and thumb so I salt right out after climax lights on door wide open because my parents had our bedrooms separated off into another hallway with a set of doors in between basically had enough warning to zip it up if I heard the outer door open but alas I passed out immediately after kissing I woke up with a fresh stack of laundry piled up at the foot of my bed the lights off and the door closed my stepmom must have walked in after I passed out with laundry saw me naked sprawled out with cm drying on my hand and stomach dropped off my laundry turned off the light and never breathed a word of it bless her Mott's renamed him jizz boss when I was a kid my mom walked in the room while my cousin and I were looking at Vanessa Hudgens nude pictures on the desktop computer the computer was too slow for me to try to excel a thing out before my mom appeared behind me she was not pleased when I was 11 my dad found out that I had been watching his gente and discovered a sketch book full of badly drawn anime people freaking in my room needless to say I wasn't allowed to draw anime for a few years after that I'm a girl not a boy so he had gente that was upset you liked haunt a kind of odd when I was young like eight years old and before I even knew what masturbation was or even an orgasm for that matter my cousin taught me the glory that was the pool yet I used to spend days with my dong propped up against that sucker feeling very good yet never understanding what was happening my parents and sister laugh about it a lot a day it made this covering masturbation a little less fun because the first time I rubbed one out I recognized the feeling which made it a little less whimsical either good old days my parents said they found gay male pee on the computer when brother was 13 or 14 they wanted me to ask him about it I was like nope no way in heck that is embarrassing for everyone no one ever said anything got a little brother I am fairly certain he's a sociopath he enjoys playing Sims but purely to burn the people to death he will burn the house down then reload the game to the last save time and do it again and again I recently went onto his phone to install a game for him and notice all the other games he had at least 5 games that allow you to torture people in different ways I need to stress that he does it every single time he plays the game he plays it a lot and he laughs when they die it's quite creepy actually I myself have killed Sims in multiple ways I once built a room on my second floor just to store guests and let them die I did this once and then I got bored my brother has done this every single time he plays and it doesn't quite explain the fact that he also has a number of torture games on his phone oh and he's 11 years old one more thing my parents are aware of it they have tried to get him to stop but he will still do it when they are not watching some more detail about his Sims playing he has never played the game for anything other than killing them he once asked me when I was installing the latest one for if he can still kill people if the house doesn't have an oven he will literally sell everything in the house to buy one I used to make all my sims go into the yard I then built a fence around them so they were stuck in there just crying and pee themselves eventually they would die and the Grim Reaper would come good times my sister got her period when she was nine and over the next nine years I'd find dried up his tampon stashed around the house and drawers and in purses backpacks I brought it up to my mom who vehemently denied anything was wrong with her golden child and I was chastised dysfunctional family story for another time never found out why she was hoarding used tampons Google doesn't come up with any answers either if the trashcan was an a visible accessible spot mine was in the kitchen for example she might have been too embarrassed to go out there and toss them out where other family members might see her source mom was horrified to discover a massive treasure trove of used pads behind my dresser when I was 13 went to see if my four year roland was asleep he was playing with his pecker and talking to himself not sure if it was his first boner but still an oddly proud dad moment it's gonna get interesting I checked my younger brother's internet history he was seven at a time and so lots of searches for naked girls and what dose of the @ Gina look like I never told my parents and I won't ever tell him I found that way too young for that that spelling lol my parents found out unknown to me that I had underground black market selling swords and knives that I bought or forged myself to other kids around the neighborhood they haven't talked to me about it yet but they've noticed the sudden influx of cash from it it has been yours you are the village blacksmith my daughter is seven and a prodigy which is great however she can read everything and reedit quickly she stole a magazine I had with an article about Saddam Hussein's trial and it had a picture of him ready to be hanged I only found out when I heard her in her room reading at saying good kill him he is evil I stole it out of her room after she fell asleep and I threw it out bf or anyone busts my balls I honestly had forgotten I still had the magazine on a bookshelf between some reference books it is quite intense what children can find and then read it happened not to me but to my mom when she was young she found as a little child a book about the crimes of the Nazi regime and was extremely troubled in special because we are Germans and her father fought and got caught instilling great it was really troubling for her imagining her father in such a situation we found my little brother when he was like three or four years old eating the dead flies that collect in the space between the window screen and the window well we didn't actually see it we just saw him by the side of the window smiling with fly wings and legs in his teeth lol my dad tells the story to people with no reservations we live out in the country and have a septic system when my daughter started her period we told her not to put her tampons and pads in the toilet flash-forward two years I was pulling dirty cloths from her closet when I notice a plastic bag hanging from a hanger my curiosity piqued because it was seemed really full I thought it could be more cloth since she seemed to enjoy hiding her dirty cloths I reached him and pulled out a handful of used maxi pads apparently when I told her not to flush them in the toilet I failed to say put them in the trash so let me start by saying that over the years I've had a crap ton of problems with disordered eating self-harm depression etc and my family is very bad at pretty much all forms of communication so I've had a lot of stuff go missing from my room without it being mentioned razors purge bags food I'd hidden a couple suicide notes and nobody ever mentions a thing even though we all know that everybody knows dunno if that all counts or not I'm sort of venting tbh sorry to hear that and I hope you're doing better one weekend my parents went rifling through my room while I was away don't remember where I went but they had the entire weekend to search my room I was probably 14 I had my stash of prom pictures hidden on the top shelf of my closet underneath a box I thought it was the best hiding spot ever there was pictures of feet girls the see em on their face up close tee shots I was 14 so my Prague game wasn't advanced yet anyways apparently my mother found them and freaked out at what kind of prana I was looking at she threw them all into a garbage bag along with all the other trash they had found my dad salvaged my prom treasures from the garbage and put them back where she had found them I get home my dad just says mom found your pictures in your closet you should find a better hiding spot I thought it was a little funny I'll never have fun on the internet ever again your dad sounds awesome oh this is embarrassing but whatever not my parents but me when I first discovered I could ejaculate about 12 or so I didn't really know what to do with the jizz so I would blow into my underwear and then hide it under this gap under my desk shelving combo unit thing anyway I started running out of underwear very fast and my mother became suspicious came home from school one day to all my jizz undies clean and folded on my bed no discussion was hard by the time those undies would have been found you probably could have snapped them in half or at least heard a crunch with every movement I was freaked found pee in the Barbie doll bathtub I knew for sure it was my daughter I mean she is the only suspect or Barbie really loves golden showers but yet cleaned it out with bleach and hot water and never said a word because I knew it would have embarrassed her I think she did it on the day I told her no more playing in the sink because of the massive amount of water I had to clean up after my dad sister and I found my brother's BDSM pee stash years after he moved out that he had completely forgotten about my dad quickly got rid of it before my mom could find out with my mom being a hardcore Christian and all funny thing was it wasn't in any of the trash bins when I was curious to see where my dad dumped it my son is five last year when he was four I found all these personal videos he'd shot on his samsung galaxy and there was one used every bad word he knew I don't know who Connor is but he's a total butt-head meanie stupid face he should definitely not mess with my kid anymore I had an almost empty bottle of Lube in my room and one day my mom cleaned my room and it was in the garbage she never said a word I think the worst part was when I bought a new bottle and found it moved from where it was to my dresser it was like my mom said find a better hiding space before I puke dota here I fell asleep once after using my cell AB mum came into my room in the morning before she left early for work to tell me to feed the dogs and in my half-asleep state I just whipped my salad from under the duvet and gave it her she went what do I do with this and I went just put it in the drawer and went back to sleep woke up realizing what I done unto this day do not know why my half-asleep self thought it was going to end well I guess for me it was about my stepdaughter and she knows I know but her mom doesn't know her internet friend Kim is not just a friend but her girlfriend hopefully Kim isn't a 35 year old woman my gf and I decided to look at her kids search history he's really into dragons yep I had to explain rule 34 to her totally going to tell my son about the time he whipped his little dong out into busy Old Navy check out during Christmas we had to be stuck in line for another half hour with parents keeping the other children in line away from my son the flasher if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 23,927

Rating: 4.9084969 out of 5

Keywords: parents, parenting, parents stories, parenting tips, parenting styles, parenting 101, found out, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy

Id: hg_yKp3G3f8

Length: 23min 59sec (1439 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 26 2020