[OLD] THE NEW WORST GAME EVER MADE - Caddicarus

[Music] [Music] [Music] word of advice don't ever polish your weapons because you'll never know when you'll hear bad news and accidentally fall on and this is some pretty bloody bad news we're dealing with today everybody because today we have yet another ps2 game from Phoenix Games to add to their flawless repertoire and I'm not joking when I say this is the worst one I've seen so far and I know I say that with every single new one that I see but look why me the referee blows whistle if you're a cat Icarus veteran not that you'd want to be you already know about Phoenix games I've been covering them for years ever since Dalmatians three over four years ago and they're responsible for some of the highest viewed videos on my channel since then I've taken many looks at other desperate Disney dodges from them like Peter Pan Pinocchio and one of my personal favorites Snow White in the Seven clever pop essentially the games themselves are exactly the same thing they're all badly coded and pissing lis program puzzle compilations jigsaws slide puzzles matching tiles you know real bottom-of-the-barrel stuff and yes they are always the same on every Phoenix game with the only thing making each entry stand out being a terrible cartoon based on the titular characters on the front of the box sometimes I mean in Dalmatians 3 this is nowhere to be seen this isn't in the game I'm not joking they bastard those classic Disney characters for their box are even steel concept are from other games on to their box art and even after that can't be asked to go through the effort of using their own abominations in their own films that's the level of uselessness we're dealing with now and I swear to god they just used one person - voiceover absolutely every single character take pity on me excellent see what will happen to my daddy how on earth did you find yourself on that tree these games were licensed by Sony sold on the shelves and the films on the game discs themselves could be as short as 6 minutes mark sometimes finish games couldn't even be buggered to get their own original films on the discs and so outsource some of the moviemaking to another company known as dingo pictures so where many Phoenix games look like this first thing was coming it was like a small bear dingo pictures movies look like this yeah where we're going there is no God because dingo pictures made the film that we are watching today I still stand by what I said earlier animal soccer world is easily the worst Phoenix games production of ever sin and just like the mythical bird itself no matter how many times I slaughter it it seems to keep rising back from the ashes in case you weren't sure animal soccer world is based off of that one scene in Bedknobs and Broomsticks where animals play soccer you dumbass and one must ask how on earth you drag that on to a 13-minute cut with the beginning middle and end but I suppose we're gonna find that out aren't we the film stars with the greatest walking theme I've ever heard in my life it's not even in time by the way if you've seen my Dalmatians through your video yes that is the exact same dog from Dalmatians 3 in fact all the same characters from Dalmatians to reappear in this game but let's not get ahead of ourselves sometime we'll see okay one time I'll see one time we'll see oh it's so me what I need what are you doing today I don't know yeah I don't know yeah I don't even know who you are we can visit some friends ok wait a second here you go to see your friend who you said yourself you haven't seen for a long time don't address him by his own name and then order him around by forcing him to accompany you to seeing other friends there twenty seconds into this film and I already hate the main character there has to be a world record gotta say though I really do love that walking theme in fact it's so good even butts in and interrupts the rest of the music [Music] but will it be as good as the hardcore running music in Dalmatians 3 let's get one thing straight nothing will ever be as great as that ok so back on track our main character isn't abusive dictator Simba here is just rolling over and taking it so off we go are we not going to address that Oh Mufasa and Robbie are there now and then they're gone we're not going to talk about any of this so these two are off to see their friend Harry apparently and off they set from the jungle to do so and end up inside a Greek villain oh all the phone where did the jungle go and who the hell are you ladies did you see it of course you didn't see it probably hear me then why did you ask we're only about a minute into this masterpiece and already I'm completely lost at least in other Phoenix games they had easier to follow plots and characters despite me not understanding a single word half of them said most of the time an animal soccer well I mean he's hairy but I don't know who these two are I don't know who these two are or why they appeared on screen for less than three seconds and there's no excuses here this is a ps2 game that came out in 2005 next to the original God of War and two years after Dalmatians three change Li industry we also go in to completely ignore the fact that Harry is a six foot tall Street flashes anyway as it turns out Harry is actually pretending that something is going on so that he can report and commentate on it because there's nothing going on hence all of his ramblings but this is only a guess from me here since I can barely understand a single conversation going on as you can hear the voice acting is so out-of-this-world dreadful but when you stitch it back-to-back with other characters trying to have a conversation it sounds like someone having a stroke but what is supposed to happen something that I didn't edit or cut down any of that including the overlapping lines on the wrong characters moving the wrong lips it really is that bad I see that is hard really the whole overlapping lines and wrong character lip syncing is something the film keeps up terrifically from the start to the end like a demented art project but would you believe it even has scenes of the complete opposite effect right next to them because as soon as Willy the turd over here comes out he's given far too much screen time a tiny line you know so Mackenzie somewhere like who was in charge of the edits here somebody had to watch this back and think hmm this is and then cut it down so that all the lines could at least fit this is a disgrace even Dalmatians 3 wasn't this bad and what's even better is that right after that abrasive silence it goes back to the way too fast overlapping normal cuts again there is not very Oh it's driving me crazy but nothing I repeat nothing not a single thing on God's green or repugnant earth can prepare you for what is about to happen in a second this transcends any kind of aweful I've ever seen in again cutscene a TV show YouTube video filming anything it's that bad I am going anything else to say commence now you tell me why the Holy Mother of crack was that about was that from a bull riding tournament where a person was dressed as the ball he was that the deleted scene from The Exorcist was that my auntie's final words I don't know my contractor that thing just arrived for some reason and why was that all right there was some pretty nasty fight going on in the middle of the street that's why we had the sure and so the emergency dark appears to calm the situation down why were these two fighting though well as it turns out this dog who lives in the jungle next door to the Greek village found a red ball this Panther wanted to play with it but the dog wouldn't let him I tell you this I can be gets a little bit too pg-13 for my taste that's not true you're just mad because I know you can I can yes no okay so instead of fighting the animals all get together and decide to arrange a soccer game to sort out the argument ah okay because that's apparently how old disputes are settled in the animal kingdom and the Panther is so happy about the situation his neck vibrates while the dog is so happy his legs collapse in on themselves it's an old bloody soccer world after all of that we then follow on to Harry the six-foot flasher taking photocopies I'm assuming of his private so of course he isn't he's getting ready for the big soccer match of course which puss-in-boots here hears about and tries to get the inside scoop first of all I have to have our are these Flyers then why did you arrange a bloody soccer match you done all of a sudden these birds then arrived with sake old socks for their beaks and say that they will commentate for one team the jungle kings while Harry will commentate for the other team the wild dogs which is apparently so funny that the head of one of the birds starts to do itself in the neck hole and then just when you were thinking Oh christ almighty I can't handle any more birds another bird then comes in an office to spread the Flyers around which he does a pretty miserable job at since he's dropping them all in the same place and then he flies all the way to the barnyard next door to the jungle next door to the Greek village and the pigs here gets so excited with the news of a soccer match that the chicken grabs a saxophone and the dog stars drumming the intro to a Rick Astley song this is seriously the laziest slop I have seen from Phoenix game slash dingo pictures yet I mean reusing the same characters is bad enough we've already discussed that but in this whole part where the rest of the wild dogs team is being recruited I'm convinced they just straight-up copied the entire scenes backgrounds and character placement from Dalmatians 3 and if not they're scarily similar that's a new one I'll give them that and at least the mold is broken a little bit in this scene where we move on from the vibrating head laughing to this instead hey honey no nook who's there juicy juicy who do you see that stupid dog over there so then we cut to the wild dogs team who are deciding who is going to do what in the match you look a little bit small but you're fast there you go run between the legs nothing grumble you are way too small this goes on for much too long after which they all head out for the shooting practice and this guy thinks he's playing basketball so that's a very good start I always have to do everything just because they're bigger than me did Tommy Wiseau voice that thing I want to give her a second chance after all she's my future wife I know less than nearly ten minutes into this thirty minute film about soccer we finally have the first football kick which is followed by this this dog is then sent away to find a better goalkeeper and luckily we find one but for some reason someone added a bouncing ball on top of the dialogue here and I'm about to give up on my life okay we're done here time to move on to Oh how would you look at that Mufasa has moved on from the jungle and now losing a lovely holiday villa on the Spanish coast and he's gonna train the jungle kings he decides to make the panther go over here the captain which he finds very exciting and at this point the voice actors or voice actor get so lost to the point that he even asked the same question twice right after he asks the first question no time to focus on that now though because the elephant has been named the goalkeeper which seems horrific ly unfair to me but whatever I won't need a goalkeeper I'll stop all the bars yep I'm sure you will and I bet you've had a lot of practice with that name Samsung Samsung mm-hmm I mean this isn't even me talking about the other classic dingo pictures staples that are present in all their other films they're a bootleg Disney characters seeping out every crevice not only just the dialogue constantly overlap but so does the music and how about this for missed potential Puss in Boots is in this film and he doesn't ever play football and he's wearing boots Hey so anyway Simba and I know he has a different name but Jesus Christ he might as well be called Simba steals the football away from the jungle kings and plays with it while his tail spins in an impossible full circle he's just learning no give me that ball right away but the good thing is that this is totally made-up with perhaps the most epic wind-up to a kick in videogame history do you think I added that music in because I did and that's in the game we have reached the Nirvana people indie devs around the world give up you're never gonna be as good as this you will never create anything as immaculate as this the real question is though can the elephant catch the ball with his loose skinned and overworked trunk yep it appears he can then mr. crocodile over here has a very important point to bring up okay we score goals when he stops all the shots right right no and then Mufasa comes back to give us more advice which wait hang on where did Surabhi go she popped in at the very start of the game for about two seconds next to move faster and then never came back why was she there well where is she now didn't faster eat her with a face like that it wouldn't surprise me and so the awful mop heads off to get uniforms in the most logical way this film can muster you know in the middle of the street with a goat who is also a tailor and he also sounds like that can you make just for us I'm sorry what was that can you make just for us excuse me can you make just for us to see that one more time for me please can you make just for us oh you know I make everything well it's like this okay I think I need to explain something here you know film when cartoons do that it's because the characters are having an enclosed and secretive conversation that no one else around them is supposed to hear you can't just do that in the middle of an open street with two carrots on each end of the bloody road because one carriage is only good to be able to hear she's my god and you know what finally 17 minutes and 20 seconds into this oscar-winning epic we finally have the titular soccer match the whole film is about oh my god hi there Bam binos to see you can make it how was your mom doing I know there's a rebel biker dog guys you guys are going into area s okay don't think I really want to go that if you're making one wrong move I will eat you oh Jesus I guess we have no choice not to everyone starts getting angry with the lack of a soccer match in a film about soccer 18 and a half minutes into the Phills [Music] we then see two pregnant monkeys pooing on the floor and then we're finally ready for the soccer game of the year how appropriate although I think we all really know deep down who's gonna win that one after this point we have a musical number oh yes a musical number and these have always gone perfectly another Phoenix game so consider me hyped wake me look you wake up it's time to tell your story and the thing is I would make some jokes about this whole segment but I don't need to as you're going to be able to see in a second the jokes write themselves like there's nothing I can say to make it any weirder than it is I don't even know if this bit coming up is in English I'm gonna be honest with you so yeah I'm just gonna let you enjoy all of it in its entirety just like I had to I dare you not to leave the video okay in all seriousness though I don't think I can add anything remotely productive from this point onwards I mean a few interesting things happen like nobody actually playing soccer most of the time and the referee is actually friends with one of the teams which I'm sure is slightly scandalous but as far as anything else goes I'm completely out of words to explain anything that we are all looking at so instead now where you're going to see is a little montage I cooked up of all of the weirdest most screwed up most uncomfortable most awkward moments of the entire soccer match because there's too many moments to count there's too many things I can say and the film does all the saying for me it's all condensed right here and it's ready for your scrutiny so please enjoy and after all of this the game chickens out and the match ends at 1:00 all so then Mufasa returns and calls for a rematch while standing too much like that voice in the original Street Fighter ladies and gentlemen because there was no winner in this soccer match and the story ends with the dog and Simba from the very beginning saying that there was a great game Jovie yeah was beautiful no we can't be friends again when were they friends and when do you think this next match will take place get a load of this yes but we still have six long long ones why does any of this take six weeks to prepare well have you got to do it all that time decide which the front of the litter gets made into supper so in conclusion what the hell was any of that I don't know and I don't think I ever will know I'm going to put a pin comment below this video and you can all reply to it you can tell me what the hell any of that was because I'm sure that one of you out there is supposed to know and you can help fill my life with a little bit more clarity [Music] but thank you ever so much for watching this video until the very end everybody I hope you enjoyed it and before we get to the outtakes at the very end of this video so please stay tuned for them hopefully you'll get a giggle out of them I first of all would love to thank all of my patreon supporters that are scrolling past on the screen right now but I'd also love to thank the sponsors for today's episode better help an affordable and private online service that connects you with any kind of personalized therapist or counselor whenever you want wherever you want indoors outdoors at the park at the gym you can use text video chat phone cords is entirely your shout you can even be anonymous if you want life is a ridiculously difficult and stressful thing to manage sometimes and there is no shame in 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Robert a lamp sure oblivion rising William Sanborn EXO Paz Matthew Hubble's Akari Mills Kerr hi binary code Kirsten bqb cyberpunk symphony Thomas Olsen Nathan Young Chumbawamba Ellen Ripley Joseph von Hamburg James Nardi Yello Daniel Lee ODC Dungeon Master Braden Kenny Mitchell Reeves Jane Ives and 80 Fontan Smith thank you so much every single one of you where we're going there's no God he makes this unfilmable a half of the stuff we film we can't use because of that bloody stupid dog TV there are going to be outtakes on in a second so please stay tuned for that but I have 200 other end of the road when only one other on the other end of the road another on the other end of the road when any on the other end of the road when I don't even remember the line now

Channel: Caddicarus

Views: 1,279,143

Rating: 4.9479642 out of 5

Keywords: caddicarus, caddy, caddick, game, review, hiddenblock, spacehamster, dykgaming, didyouknowgaming, pbg, peanutbuttergamer, completionist, ps1, ps4, pc, modern, retro, reviews, comedy, funny, jontron, projared, brutalmoose, worst games ever made, worst game of all time, worst game ever made, phoenix games, dalmatians 3, snow white, snow white and the 7 clever boys, snow white and the seven clever boys, pinocchio, peter pan, animal soccer world, ps2, worst voice acting, bad voice acting, cutscene

Id: R3L2pPyYi5k

Length: 21min 44sec (1304 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 29 2018