The Awful World of Skateboarding Games - Caddicarus

oh god i really hope i don't turn into a limited edition collectible vinyl figure well great what am i supposed to do now today's video is sponsored by me in plastic form this isn't even my final four do you want to get yourself a limited edition me i do you've already got one yes well then all you need to do is head to the description right now where i'm currently running a competition with you twos to give away three of these amazing figures that will be signed by me but the real life me not the plastic me all you have to do to enter is follow the link below and do any one of these three things to give yourself one new entry into the competition or you can do all three for an extra two entries oh boy i love entries if you don't win this competition though don't freak out and burn your house down because on the 2nd of october at 12pm pst or 8pm british time this adorable little monster will be available to the public for purchase you've got to be quick though because they're limited and if you're not careful i'll buy all of them oh man totally radically [Music] [Music] am i the only one that can still see the bricks outside like i'm not going insane am i you can see them too right and you do know that if you jump out at them while wearing a face mask they get really scared and run away but why isn't everybody doing this well whatever the case we may not all be able to go out and skate on the streets for fear of running into another load of bricks and having a die but that's okay because we've got tony hawk's pro skater one and two on the ps4 it's the next best thing and in fact i was so excited for the launch of this game that i couldn't resist i had to get the collector's edition with the limited edition birdhouse deck and oh boy what a game it is this is far from my favorite tony hawk game of all time in terms of gameplay and soundtrack but it's so cool to see a hd 60 frames per second remake of two ps1 classics that give you so much more than just a simple remastering you can manual and ramp revert in all the games to keep combos going you can wall ride you can wall plant you can do ridiculous special tricks you can spine and hip transfer this is essentially a modern tony hawk game with everything included from the older ones thrown into the mission-based gameplay style and level design of the original two pro skaters and honestly even though i'm not a fan of the frustratingly minuscule two-minute time limit every time you just want to play this is the best tony hawk game in my opinion for years and you wanna know why because you can turn yourself into tom thumb and if that's too small for you don't worry because you can also turn yourself into the bfg after putting a few hours into this little gem though it gave me an itch that i haven't felt since the last time i went to the doctors i felt like going back through my shells again and picking up the really old skateboarding games that i used to love as a kid more specifically tony hawk's underground 2 remix on the psp and tony hawk's american skate land on the ds these two games i put so many hours into and were not only the first tony hawk games i ever played but the first skateboarding games i ever played in general that further developed my rash i mean my love for skateboarding as a sport see this photo this is the youngest photo of teenage me that exists on the internet and what's that at the end of my arms why yes it's my hands you heard me right you're talking to an ex-skater here so after i played these two games here i gathered up all the money i could can i pay you in scrutiny and then bought all of the skating games i could in order for me to make yet another ridiculously long video that will drive me to drink but hey i didn't want to start this marathon video off negatively if i'm talking about one of my favorite ex pastimes so i figured we could start the video nice and light with the impetus the beginning the first the inspiration for every single console skateboarding game that would be released after this one oh yeah i'm going there everybody back to the original so i hope you're ready to sit down and play some skateboarding on the atari 2600 skateboarding yes believe it or not for home consoles at least this is where it all started skateboarding and let's not ignore it any longer this box out here deserves to be preserved in a crystal cabinet in the national gallery the logo the ghastly outfit the toys are our sticker the abrasive color scheme and that face that disease of a face the face of a man who isn't only hungry for radical kick flips but also your mum's thighs i don't think i can wait any longer so say it with me everybody three two one go uh so yeah this is skateboarding everyone this silent terrifying vacuum is skateboarding on the atari 2600 no sound no music no anything absolute entertainment that's a bold claim this was the peak of entertainment was it i can't quite say i'm absolutely entertained by staring at a little pink horse jockey wondering if he's holding a skateboard or a giant hot dog okay i need to be fair this game was made in 1987 for the atari 2600. this was the very first home console skateboarding game of all time not counting arcade games and home computer games of course so i need to judge this as a game of its time even though i'm walking around in silence around a ghost town while this clock counts down to when my heart stops to put this freak out of his misery there's not that much skating going on though is there so what do you actually do i have no idea but this is atari and it's got a joystick and one button so we haven't really got much choice do we so let's press the button and see what happens ah oh look look everyone we're off look at me go and listen to these sick beats yeah i'm getting into this now i feel like a kid again i'm a skateboarding maestro nothing can stop me now oh the music stopped well that was deflating but since we already look like a horse jockey you know what they say about them if they fall off the horse what do they do get straight back on anyway i think i should take a look around and get a bearing on my surroundings what's this here what are you up to down there oh well whatever it was he came out the other end with a tight grip on that hot dog so you may be looking at this and wondering what the hell am i looking at and to be honest i'm with you there i have no clue what's going on this was the era of games just kind of dropping you into the thick of it without so much as a cookie and expecting you to know exactly what it's trying to tell you i mean i know we can skate i know we can crash and i know that this indescribable thing is unable to be skated on but we can also phase through the trees no issue at all so your guess is as good as mine when it comes to what's going on oh that's a ramp i thought there was stairs i guess this was before straight diagonal lines were invented well whatever we've got an objective now find all 30 ramps and jump off of them while occasionally crouching down looking like you're propelling yourself with your own gas so yeah this is the whole game find ramps jump off of them and don't worry about the trucks they can't hurt you you've got ginger hair they don't stand a chance but the best thing about this is undoubtedly the music purely because the game is silent for every other moment aside from when you jump on your skateboard and that tune my god you cannot help but love it just listen to how jolly it is this is up there with super mario galaxy for greatest soundtrack in gaming history oh and even better you don't only have free control on when this bouncy little sea shanty starts but whenever you bail and then start skating again you reset the tune to the very beginning every single time [Music] okay okay i'll do it all right i'm sorry tony tony where are you save me okay i'm gonna stop teasing you here we go this was the game i was talking about the ps1 heavyweight that actually started a million new skating game trends and spawned a thousand poor man imitators tony hawk's skateboarding okay he's not as catchy as pro skater but did you know that prosecutor is a curse word in the uk yeah it's true it's very bad to say so when this game came out in the uk they changed the name of it and if you don't like that then you can suck my prosecutor now this was the one you were waiting for me to talk about wasn't it the good stuff the original the classic the start of extreme sports games being so good that everybody would try copying it for years to come the slow the clunky the lumpy the not quite as good as your nostalgia would have you think yeah i'm sorry guys there is absolutely no point going back to pro skater 1 in my opinion unless you survive off of disappointment don't get me wrong this game is a classic make no mistake it planted every seed it needed to with the creative level design that took everyday locations and turned them into skateboard theme parks and popularized the addictive gameplay loop of performing tricks while exploring to earn vhs tapes and unlock more levels but there's so much not here especially if you like the later tony hawk games you can't manual to link tricks together on flat surfaces you can't revert after landing from ramps the level selection is pretty small as are the levels themselves and take around three attempts at maximum to finish the controls feel a little on the heavy side especially with getting air off of ramps you can't wall ride or wall plan for more combo and level design potential and it doesn't matter how hard you try or how good you smell it's so easy to not land properly or outright clip through the obstacles tony hawk pro skater is crash bandicoot 1. it's fine for what it is and amazing at the time compared to the competition but nah nowadays it feels like a bathroom trip after mexican night but then there was tony hawk's pro skater 2. this is where in my opinion the legend was truly born pro skater 2 put the dev team neversoft on the map because at this point they gave up on realism and stopped making you feel like you were skateboarding on a recycling bin it doesn't work this was the beginning of creating your own skater and you could call him chris who lives in the sink at his five years old he also looks like this but don't laugh at him is shy this was where you could begin to use stat points that you earned in the campaign to max out all of your abilities and your balance sensitivity this was where you could edit and customize your tricks you could create and edit your own bloody bloody bloody parks and how about the levels there were more of them they had a dump load more to do and far more secrets to see with environmental pieces to completely destroy with your sickness they came with cash prizes that you could spend in the shop for more customization options you could be hit by trains but more importantly there were more tricks which not only meant crazier scores but way more ways to link them together with the ability to manual on the street and wall ride across vertical surfaces and then there were the cheats oh lord of the cheats you can believe you can fly you could become a big boy you can escape the game you can go on the atkins diet but easily the coolest part you could be spider-man here spider-man wait what the judges only gave me 99.9 what do you mean 99.9 did you see what i just did that's not enough for a full score at least give me a chicken nugget now don't get me wrong i'm still not a fan of the two minute time limit for the career mode you could argue that it's arcadian challenging but i argue it's restrictive stressful and doesn't let you fully take in or explore the brilliant level design and if you just so happen to agree with me on that which you should then don't worry because the tony hawk series eventually did get rid of it they kept on being made they kept on improving nobody could stop them not even my mum and she could stop a freight train by frowning at it there was tony hawk's pro k3 that introduced ram reverts to further keep your combos going after you've got major air there are hidden flips and grabs you can pull up by double tapping buttons and you can be a star wars there was tony hall's pro skater 4 which ditches the time limit for career mode and turns every level into a free-roaming affair along with the new ability to spine and hit transfer over ramps skitch on the back of cars to pick up speed double tap buttons while you're grinding and manually to change the move that you're doing during the current grind or manual to add more to your combo score and you can be a star wars there was tony hawk's underpants there was tony hawk's underground that gives you an entertaining story mode where you start from the bottom in a tacky dump neighborhood and rise to the top as you work with skateboarding pros who stars themselves oh my need you can dismount your board to get around tighter level design a little easier you can level up naturally as you skate around and unintentionally complete hidden challenges related to the types of tricks that you do you can bounce off of the walls with a wall plant you can spam flip buttons like crazy to do more than triple flips to your flip tricks you can spam buttons to recover from bathing faster and you can also do this that's the thing you can do isn't it there was tony hawks underground too and it's the best game ever made but you could also natura spin on top of small pillars or is it nature spin or natas spin i don't know you could spray on the walls like a bad boy but i mean spray with gravity and not with we tony hawk looks like an eggplant and if you bail from a trick you can tap buttons really fast and then break your board in half which does absolutely nothing but waste your time there was tony hawk's america jesus there was tony hawk's american wasteland which is basically the same as all the other games but felt much smoother and faster gives you much bigger levels that are interconnected with their own day and night cycle without any loading screens there's a story mode that allows you to build your own part from scratch and in my favorite feature you can even ride a stunt bmx whenever you want to how cool is that i also had a major crush on this girl when i was a teenager but she's not real so it didn't work out it was tony hawk's project 8 and i'm not really sure what they were eating when they made this this whole thing here this is just completely unnecessary also tony hawk looks ill is he doing okay oh hey there rodney mullen ryder you aren't looking too good either and then there was tony hawk's proving ground that makes the balance mean to take up the whole screen and it is really ugly it runs like trash a tony hawk's proving ground and that concludes all of my thoughts on the mainline tony hawk games specifically in the neversoft era which most people consider the only true era and if you want to know my favorite one i would have to go with american wasteland but closely followed in joint second place by pro skater 4 and underground and so after proving ground came out i suppose neversoft couldn't prove to anybody that they should keep making tony hawk games and immediately after they left they were taken over by a new team known as robo modo and they were going to take the hawk to new heights and then that same hawk did a dive bomb into the sea and drowned because the end of their era came to a halt with tony hawk's pro skater 5. released in 2015 for the ps4 and xbox one pro skater 5 came out to a fanfare of [Music] everybody hated this game when it launched including me for a game labeling itself as the fifth main line entry after the fantastic pro skater 4 and the 17th tony hawk game in general this honestly felt like a joke and there are plenty of videos on the subject demonstrating exactly why that is and the thing is without playing it yourself when you just see the game in motion sure it's not groundbreaking or anything but it doesn't look like worst game of the year material and that's why i ended up buying it because it looks completely okay in fact when you play it it even functions dare i say i thought everybody was exaggerating and jumping on the hate train five years ago but after only a few minutes you'd quickly understand where everybody was coming from well i say quickly but you still have to wait for the 8 gigabyte patch to download oh what's that you don't care about the online or network features and just want to start the game as it is without the patch okay that's cool that's fair well then how do you feel about missing a massive chunk of the game that was supposed to be included at the start but then had to be added in with this patch this is awful enough right out of the gate but to put this in perspective pro skater 5's file size itself is around 4 gigabytes meaning that the eight gigabyte patch to fix the issues the game had was 200 bigger than the game itself that's the same as going to the hospital because your wang is too big but then having the problem sorted by being given another one triple the size of the last one well i mean i'm not complaining it's not a problem so okay maybe the 12 gigabytes total of game here is only because pro skater 5 is stuffed with content and it's probably graphically insane compared to every other game in the series actually no there's absolutely nothing in this game and it looks as pretty as a carnivorous plant you'd never believe it but pro skater 5 takes nearly every element that was tweaked and improved over the previous 16 years of tony hawk games and just completely gets rid of it creator skater god a large number of levels gone varied in level specific missions gone pedestrians gone large explorative levels with plenty of secrets gone a huge number of real-life impossible tricks to customize god you know when you're describing people that are miserable all the time and you call them a fun sponge well that's what this game is it's a fun sponge actually that doesn't make any sense because if you're a fun sponge i mean you're sucking up all the fun which means that you're full of fun so i guess that means you're a fun raincoat there's no fun in here oh and the physics the 12 gigabytes total worth of physics they're not just gone they left forever and don't even pay me child maintenance in fact five years ago i did an entire video about the broken ineptitude this game seeps with meh which would be the tiniest bit more forgivable if the patch actually fixed the physics and this wasn't a ps4 game that barely looked beyond the pro skater games on the ps2 and xbox even the mission markers don't work the mission markers because the only way you can activate them is by standing still after you find them which in itself is pointless because you can just go to the pause menu and select them from there anyway there's also this mechanic they added in i don't know what it's called but i'm going to call it the pissy plummet because that's all it does it just pisses all over the combo score and ruins any run you're in the middle of for some baffling reason robomoto decided to add in this feature where by pressing a button you slam down towards the floor at tremendous force which isn't the worst idea on paper but when they made the button that activates it the same exact button as the grind you'll quickly understand how irritating this is you'll want to grind but instead just flop into the concrete at a million miles an hour or you'll slam directly into the rails you try to grind on meaning that stuff like this happens all the time taking away all of that though as a game itself and a ps4 mainline tony hawk game it's one of the most dreary and stripped back games i've ever played every single mission is copied and pasted on every level there's no sense of humor no character no atmosphere no dialogue nothing get the balls out of this bowl and get the balls out of this bowl smash these things here for no reason at all and smash these things here for no reason at all race through these rings here and race through these rings here i mean i like these mission ideas individually but to just reuse them over and over again with no bells or whistles and soulless levels over and over again on a ps4 tony hawk game is just sad to me so what do you do if you're a skater and you want to play a skateboarding game but you've had enough of tony hawk i don't know you play another game and get another random guy in it like with mtv sports skateboarding featuring andy mcdonald finally two of my favorite things together mtv and andy mcdonald had a farm how does a 540 benny hannah into a one-footed smith grind sound high in cholesterol and if you don't know who old macdonald is don't worry because there's 14 other pro skaters to choose from like colin mckay rick howard heidi fitzgerald and rob durden dark black well that's kind of redundant isn't it i mean you can't get a light black can you what's my name um imps but as we will soon see you can even pick between a load of original characters for the story mode like jason case steve seagull and david wastebasket and then you've got my personal favorite anna graham who left her dinner on her face i think though i'm gonna pick wendy jones for the good balance stats and away we go whoa hey there lady i think you should go to the doctors you've got a nasty looking cd growth on your chest okay so this game may be taking the same ideas as tony hawk but i would say it was only in the naming andy mcdonald feels like it keeps nearly everything the same as a tony hawk game yet adds in new methods of inputting tricks to avoid copyright infringement so like instead of holding a direction button down and then pressing an action button to activate a grab flip or a grind you hold the action button down first and then press a direction to perform the trick which wouldn't be too bad aside from the fact that this control delay is shocking not even kidding check this out caddy no likey it's basically a tony hawk ripoff that moves at the speed of an oil extraction by the time the game even registers a trick you've already flopped on the floor and died beautiful i've got to say though the booming is a little unnecessary especially when most of the time i go straight up a ramp and the game bails me for absolutely no reason why are you booing me i went up in a straight line and andy mcdonald pushed me off my board are you booing me or the game no big surprise here but i did end up failing and then i got this timeless bit of advice you should try staying on the skateboard and just for that sentence i'm quitting the game forever bye bye andy mcdonald old macdonald had a farm what do you mean he had a farm where did it go [Applause] oh what was that not mad enough for you then you should try out skateboard madness on the ps2 truly this is a game for only the most mentally deranged of skateboarders i mean look at the madness going on here who is this man and why is he tickling underneath his skateboard and if there are any astute viewers of mine that have been around for many years i'm sure that there's a logo on the box here that you recognize for those of you who don't know if you see this logo on any ps2 game you run for the hills you know how the angry video game nerd has his arch nemesis in ljn when it comes to atrocious game companies well phoenix games are my personal ljn and they have released some stonkers in the past let me tell you from son of the lion king to dalmatians 3 all the way to snow white of the seven clever boys they also made a game that didn't upset any minorities at all and it was called packing and then they made skateboard madness so let's check out what i'm getting myself into my name is let me out and my character has no name that that's a bit ominous so i guess i'll just have to make them up myself should i be jonathan jonathan jonathan jonathan jonathan or black jonathan i'm not even being insensitive when i say that they all have exactly the same facial and body model and you know what i think i'll pick jonathan let's kick things off nice and easily with a simple ollie this bodes well i just played a game with a jetpack mode and even then that game has more physics than this what happens if you run into a rail what happens if you jump on a rail what happens if you jump up and try to do a 180 spin what happens if you try to jump up a flight of stairs what happens if you run dead straight into a wall what happens if you go up a ramp i mean i suppose this does have its benefits sometimes like when there's a big concrete bridge in your way don't worry because jonathan can go straight through it the issue is though he can't do anything else i have tried desperately to find more tricks than a heel flip and a kickflip but i cannot for the life of me find any on the other hand though i guess that doesn't even matter because in a timed score counting match landing kickflips doesn't even count towards giving you any points oh well sometimes it does oh and sometimes the game will say that you did three kick flips one after the other when you weren't even doing anything at least you weren't lying about this being mad i will personally ship myself over to your house and give you a kiss if you can perform any tricks here and understand why they worked or how to do them again whenever i tap the grab button i hold on to my board whenever i hold the grab button i merely tap my board occasionally when i take a jump off a quarter pipe i won't stop spinning around in mid-air even though i'm not touching any directional buttons and the amount of times that i go up a ramp only to just smack down off my board for no reason is almost comical then you remember you paid money for this and it's not funny anymore i even tested the physics engine out by simply jumping off of a ramp not touching anything and coming back down see you later this isn't a joke look look come on jonathan you hateful shrew how useless could you possibly be don't make me get another jonathan out the only good thing i can point out with this game is the fact that whenever you bail jonathan doesn't rag doll or anything he just turns stone dead and gives up wondering how he got into this mess and by the way guess what year this game came out yes i didn't make a typo okay actually i did that is when this game came out 2007 the year of mass effect the darkness uncharted bioshock and skateboard madness the wrath of jonathan also pro skater 2 very nearly nailed everything we all love in good skateboarding games and that came out seven years before this what is this game i mean the title is accurate this is nothing but total lunacy but how were phoenix games allowed to license these did sony not even look at what they put that sticker on every phoenix game i've touched so far has been the worst thing i've ever seen and it's not like sony were making a high profit margin off of them they were bargain bin trash to begin with look how did i land that extreme edition what does that even mean is there a moderate edition is there a version of this game out there that's worse than this one huh tell me jonathan i suppose i can only blame myself though because what was i expecting from phoenix games and they really are a phoenix because every time you dispose of them they manage to crawl back out of the ashes at this point you're probably so sick of skateboards that you'd rather play a game that gets rid of the wheels entirely well this is and if you do feel like that then aren't you lucky because airblade may just be the game for you a forgotten little ditty on the ps2 released in 2001 and made by the same people who did the burnout games so as you can see they're very good at making games with wheels which is why in airblade you're playing a game that has no wheels the simplest way i can describe airblade is to take the time limit mission objective open-ended style of the tony hawk series and swap a plank of wood for a hoverboard yes a hoverboard and as ridiculous as tony hawk on a hoverboard sounds for the most part i feel like airblade completely nails what it sets out to do in fact dare i say it's a hidden game look it even has a story mode with cut scenes this is our main character ethan he sounds like this oscar hijacked the stick no wonder the suits are so fun and because of that i hate him he also dresses like a traffic light so the plot here is that ethan's house is being raided by the government because of a strange package that his roommate grandpa friend with benefit received nobody knows what it is or why it's so important but that obviously means we need to take it immediately without thinking about it and go on the run to become a fugitive that was great as it turns out this secret package was actually a hoverboard which ethan magically knows how to use straight away and then holy you're able to do basically anything on it within 15 seconds of picking it up ethan is my kind of guy my first time on a hoverboard was nothing like this like i said earlier air blade is basically tony hawk in terms of its arcade mission based structure and time limit except here it's way more linear you get story based missions that need to be completed one after the other and completing each one increases your total time limit to do these missions it usually means initiating a sequence of tricks around the environment and pedestrians or sometimes exploring the open-ended levels from top to bottom to find the correct thing to grab or grind across to reach higher places the story mode itself is laughably tiny and the cutscenes are admittedly awful but i'll be damned this is one of the smoothest running and satisfying skating games i've ever played it takes a while to get the hang of it but once you do it feels as natural as breathing and you're able to do some crazy flippy floppy kingdom heart unheard of in other skating games up here on the screen is your boost meter which i suppose you could also say is your fuel it doesn't stop you from moving if it runs out don't worry but this boost meter is needed to not only speed up around the level and give yourself more air up ramps but is also used up by pressing and holding the jump button to give you a small hover and glide depending on how much boost you have these two abilities especially for the timed missions are vital so how do you get more boosts well you do more tricks of course and we're linking them together during one large mid-air combo spinning around poles and landing on rails is preferable emergency boost fuel can be given to you by simply hitting the flip trick button because i don't know if you noticed but you float meaning that you can do unlimited flip tricks without bailing which is also used for attacking enemies airblade is far from amazing but color me impressed because this is the most original arcade skating game i've ever played it controls fantastically looks great for a 2001 ps2 game runs as smooth as butter and yeah the music isn't amazing either i mean one track sounds like someone left the kettle on but i would say this is certainly a diamond in the rough but if god forbid you're offended by hoverboards or offended by small game titles it's okay because you can always play town and country surf designs pearl city hawaii wood and water rage this here is the first nes game i've ever gone out of my way to actually talk about in depth on this channel and judging by the cover i don't think i could have picked a better one but i don't know despite town and country surf designs pell city hawaii wood and water rage being the most ridiculous name for a game i've ever seen this could be another airblade it could be another hidden gem a secret masterpiece a nintendo classic i literally just mentioned you is this an omen if i say something bad will it just appear well if that's the case gun oh well thank you very much just my luck eh the first nes game i ever take a look at for this channel and it's a game made by one of the most infamously bad companies of all time but surely it can't be any worse than a phoenix game could it we boot up to the title screen and it's confusing what is this supposed to be what's going into it is it water why is it flying why are there trees swimming what's going on over here and what's this noise supposed to be is that meant to be the ocean waves or someone shuffling in a chair we've got three separate games to pick here but this is a skateboarding video so let's just take a look at that one for now who do i pick then the coolest dude in the world or a potato well okay this doesn't seem too bad so far it looks okay sounds okay control's okay was this peeved nerd a little too harsh on ljn in all of his videos we can move we can jump off the board to get past this thing here we can not jump off of the ramp no biggie we can keep going and we can even ollie over this clump of barrels a few seconds into the stage to [Music] oh maybe i pushed the wrong button okay let's try b and we can even ollie over this clump of barrels a few seconds in [Music] a and b together and we can even ollie over this clump of barrels a few okay this game is a massive c word and what's the word well you know what they say you can't say country without tree okay i get it now this ljn hate totally justified sorry nerd i should never have doubted you my law this is just this is just this is just not very nice the weird thing though is that if you look online to see what the hell you're supposed to even do you can see that what is this it's a video i mean it's somebody doing an ollie they can jump over the barrels without grinding their face into the concrete but how do you even do that i mean start pauses the game select is for the menus which then leaves us with only two buttons to work with and b makes us push the board faster while a does the dumbass rocket up to space without the thing that i need to land back onto you know what i'm just going to mash buttons and see what happens oh what was that i did a grind i grinded grinded ground greened either way i figured it out you have to hold back while pressing a to do an ollie allowing you to leap over ramps and of course those infamous barrels i love so much so that's it right i've got the controls down so the rest of the game must be a breeze so get a load of this what you have here is an auto scrolling obstacle course which would be fine to deal with except you have a very tight time limit to reach the end of a stage meaning that you have to rush and rushing in town and country serve designs pal city hawaii wood and water rage is a recipe for failure look at this you can't see anything that's flying at you off screen you can't judge depth and distance when going quickly on this 2d plane you get respawned on slowing down surfaces right next to ramps meaning that you then can't speed up enough to clear holes in the floor this game was clearly made by a load of lumpy jiggly nut cases if you slow down too much to stay careful you run out of time but if you go too fast it's unplayable so what do you want me to do town and country surf designs pearl city hawaii wood and water rage oh what's that you want me to try another game from the main menu well then i will let's see what this surfing game is about then it's awful okay then how about game number three wood and water rage this is what the game itself is named after so maybe this is the best bit oh look it's exactly the same game as the skateboarding one wooden water rage sounds like something you catch when you're pregnant okay i'm done with all of these skateboarding games that aren't endorsed by tony hawk so i think i'm gonna have to crawl back to him with my tail between my legs if there's any patterns emerging here it's that if you want a consistently decent skateboarding game you go to tony hawk so i suppose it's time to check up on him with tony hawk's downhill jam and no this isn't a terrible recipe for a sandwich i'm too hungry for waiting for this it's a tony hawk game made as a wii launch title saying that though tony is looking really angry on the box here almost like he's hungry for some jam of his own god it has been years since i booted this thing up i can't wait to give it a whirl are you ready no weirdly enough of all people this game was developed by toys for bob yes the spyro reignited toys for bob the crash 4 toys for bob the madagascar toys for bob i don't know how you can go from gloria the thick hippo to heavy metal skating but at least they still have the demented clown music and since this is a wii launch title do you know what that means yes forced motion controls meaning that you tilt the remote to move left and right and as we all know this won't be a problem at all because sonic did that so perfectly so what's my verdict on tony hawk and the secret rings it's all right it's unnecessary but it's all right i say it's unnecessary because at the end of the day tilting a motion controller to steer is less responsive than simply pressing a button but if you just have to do it this way like if your wife was tied up in the kitchen of a cannibal and the only thing that could save her was tilting motion controlled skateboarding it could have been done a lot worse firstly this is primarily a racing game thank god so free movement isn't an issue since you're on rails and only need to concentrate on steering so it's pretty focused at least and not like this but trying to take this and move it to forced motion controls and only two extra action buttons is really clumsy speeding up ollying and grabs are the same button while flip tricks and grinds are the same button and balancing on a grind is done with tilting which is exactly what you do for turning your body in mid air and turning left and right in general meaning that you'll do a lot of accidental spins and tricks when you're trying to exit a rail that you're already balancing on just like right there and you could just ignore doing tricks and focus on the race downhill but in order to get turbo which is damn near essential for winning a race you need to at least try doing a few of these tricks meaning that i did a lot of whinging the game looks fine for a wii launch title i suppose except for tony himself but then i saw her bust a few air tricks in my jaw but yeah i can't really say much else about this one because it's just okay it would have been more fun if it was a train wreck to be honest you can tell that girl works out although don't tell her i said that tony you're 52. and that's exactly how old i felt when i decided to play spongebob squarepants surf and skate road trip on the connect i'm so sorry my darling you know that i love you right spongebob squarepants surf and skate road trip is a game that you know what no i'm not doing this i'm not even going gonna give this game the privilege of an introduction here is all the footage of me playing it it speaks for itself so off just so we're all on the same page and we're understanding each other this is the main menu i wave to let them know that i'm here that works welcome to the game i've not been identified okay that's fine how about i just select a part no select a profile no select a profile no no no selector pro no select a profile don't cancel select a pro no what are you doing why are you following my face like to the side why is there a big gap there what do you mean stand back what are you talking about what stand back here where do you want me to go stand closer make up your mind you may be wondering why i've invited you all here no i'm not can we skip this every time i go towards story mode it doesn't it doesn't want to doesn't want to stay there so i'm just going to do quick play can this message go to turn left step your foot to the side to turn left step your foot to the side to turn left step your foot to the side turn right step your foot to the side to turn right step your foot to the step your foot to the side that's the side i'm stepping in the side we're this close to passing the calibration screen everybody i hate to see what the game is like if i cannot pass the settings copy this stunt pose so we can handle basics we can handle basic standing still and lifting arms up to do the beginning of the ymca but we can't do anything else so why is there a whole game built around everything else that isn't standing still and ymca ow okay look at me why are you turning left i'm stepping to the right you stupid i don't understand how this game why why is this a game this doesn't work it thinks i'm turning right when i'm stepping left and when i step right it turns left look oh look there's me hi am i enjoying myself how am i getting all these points i'm not doing anything i'm just trying to steer i'm just trying to steer how is this spongebob skye pants turn right patrick turn right please turn right you stupid lumpy pink thumb i got a boost i'm halfway that i'm halfway there i've got another how many more i've got another 25 seconds of this to do i'm not doing it i'm not doing it i'm not doing a one minute long race and yes i know you're all probably thinking this is a surfing game so what's the point of even mentioning it in this video but the thing is it isn't look i can confirm from the back of the box that there is indeed skateboarding in this game which is a shame because i'm never going to see it wait it's it's not the lighting conditions alright it's too dark how can it be too dark it's daytime i have the sun you can't get much lighter than the sun spongebob square bob and then i got myself skate or die on the nes skate or die die i mean i've got to be honest i'm actually liking this title screen the logo is vibrant and animated this dude has a fast and this music is [Music] happening i cannot wait to play any longer let's jump right in mummy i don't want to play anymore i'm a bad boy what in the goddamn christmas pudding is this is this die hard six i'd appreciate it if you stopped looking at me like that man i have a feeling your hair has been inside places i don't want to know about have you met my dear boy lester ugh i bet he's your dear boy so what are you staring at what am i staring at what are you staring at i'm not the one with eggs for eyes don't you like my doo well to be honest i don't remember the last time i saw a dark blue garden rake so no at this point i think it would be stupid to go straight into a competition so let's do some practice first um how about a freestyle match which is more accurately a vert ramp match but whatever let's drop in and start things off easy with a 180 spin are all skateboarding games on the nes deliberately unplayable whatever you do whatever button you press you will crash the only way i racked up points here was just with rolling back and forth because if i tried anything else my bones would fall right off of my body and no matter how long you lie there on the ground motionless the audience never come to help you did he skate or did he die yeah he died what about high jump then okay it's the same as freestyle but all you need to do now is mash buttons as fast as possible to pick up speed fly high have a fit and then get given the finger wonderful jam what's this one then so here you're skating towards the bottom of the screen beating up other kids with your fists and disintegrating whenever you touch a fence and this would be the best bit of the game but the biggest issue here is the control in order to attack you need to hold a direction while pressing a button but using a directional button also turns you which you don't want to do and you'd think that you just need to hold left or right to turn but no you have to tap the direction multiple times to adjust where you are pointing just like in real skating the race itself isn't much better either you're going downhill and you're turning is way too heavy am i on a skateboard or a library truck this is just upsetting help my head turned into a fanny now we're on to the final game jousting jousting as in stabbing each other off of the thing that you're supposed to be riding jousting what the hell is wrong with you yeah three kids fighting to the death seems fine to me but who do i pick to send to hell well i'm pretty sure i saw lester in a nightmare where he strangled my family so i think i'll go with the most normal looking guy posser pete is he a skateboarder or a french revolutionary welcome one and all to the jousting arena where our child combatants will fight for glory inside a big bowl of rice well it's either that or a hairy old man's head but whatever the case this is probably the worst game of the lot you achingly skate back and forth trying to knock the other kid off of his board with a giant cotton bud and then make him bend over stick his wiener in his mouth and then shove the board right up his butt problem here is that no matter what i do i can't only never hit the other guy even when i'm right next to him but he always manages to steal the bat from me and knock me down right back on my thick old legs whenever he wants to do that jesus christ this is dreadful and so when you have nearly run out of every ounce of hope you had for a good skateboarding game that isn't from tony hawk you then go back to the familiar franchise that will rarely let you down when it comes to skateboarding yeah you know the classic skateboarding series metal gear solid after the original metal gear solid on the ps1 blew everyone away with solid snake being the only character in a video game able to pull off a 1080 degree quadruple pop shove it here he is back at it again on the ps2 and pulling off some steezy tricks all up in arsenal gears rectum yes that's what it's called you are skating on a robot's poo muscle this is the most incredible yet most uncanny thing i've ever seen obviously if you know mgs pretty well this may appear to be a joke or a fan mod on top of an existing skating game but no this is an official metal gear solid skating game with its own kick-ass hard rock remix of the theme song how did this come to be though how do we go from a story-driven stealth action game involving social engineering conspiracies artificial intelligence evolution existentialism censorship and child exploitation and end up with solid snake doing some gnarly grinds on top of a terrorist base well that's because this is actually a bonus feature on the re-release of the original mgs2 known as metal gear solid 2 substance but only on the ps2 version it's a great little pack it comes with the main game obviously but also gives you a making of dvd more than 350 vr missions the chance to replay the main story missions from snake's perspective instead of ryden's and this bloody ridiculous skateboarding minigame built entirely on top of the engine for another konami game that had just been released evolution skateboarding i guess they wanted to try advertising this game to me by slipping it into a metal gear solid skin but they overdid it if you ask me because i've got absolutely no reason to play that one if i've already got this look at it why would i ever want to play the other one and while you're at it look at this disney sports skateboarding oh boy all right am i going mad or am i the only one here who thinks this intro music doesn't even remotely fit against what you're seeing [Music] it's almost like taking the characters from a legacy of cartoons in the 1930s doesn't fit in extreme sports culture 70 years later do you want your great-granddad to get on a skateboard while dressed up as a clown because that's what this is and in my case that would be extra bad because my great granddad is a corpse if i had to pick anybody to trudge through this i guess i'll have to go with max because at least he stands out above the crown and bugger me does he stand out above the crowd because the hospital bills this boy must be privy to wouldn't even be able to be paid off by bill gates no exaggeration if you love falling down and scaring yourself on tarmac this game is for you because that's all you do it's disney sports roadkill it's hard enough just trying to wield the heavy controls here but even on this first stage you will get run down by cars more times than a group of badgers in mating season it's absolutely exhausting you just crash into cars constantly and you never see them coming either [Music] and if you aren't being run down by people looking to cook up a dead dog into their stew you're playing one of the worst skateboarding games ever made if of course you're even able to play at all from how it moves along like a slug in a pot of glue the controls are so rigid here not only because you have to keep topping up your speed by holding forward which just doesn't feel natural at all but you can barely get any air from a standard ollie making grinds and simple kickflips feel like a lottery plus you need to try dealing with these horrific controls while navigating some of the most cramped and unnaturally awkward level design that would be hard enough to platform across let alone skate these are the kinds of controls that run into your granny's dining room and smash all of the china and if that wasn't enough this is the most consistently obnoxiously loud game i think i've ever played constantly yelling at you with a dude bro server voice after you do practically anything good luck great starting gate reflexes this cat could show us something really cool straight out of the shoe skate her down i repeat her down and i shout all the time so if you're able to annoy me you've ballsed it this game has driven me to destruction and carnage which is lucky for me since i just so happened to own thrasher's skate and destroy for the ps1 but what do i pick on the main menu options options or skate skate and what character do i want to pick um scab oh god your parents must have hated you i'm choosing you based on that name alone oh and i can make you shirtless but then we'll see all of your scabs what's my name well you know what you can't improve on perfection so i'm gonna keep it as scab now this game is great wanna know why well first of all it's because you don't only push your board with the x button and that's all it does but it's also because each button on the controller corresponds to a different trick you ollie with square but kickflip with triangle and 180 spin with circle yes instead of ollying and spinning yourself around with the d-pad or the shoulder buttons you press a single button that spins for you sound confusing well wait until you get involved with these stages then oh boy this is as barren and basic as you can get you only need to get the set amount of points and then exit the level that's it the problem is though because something as simple as a kickflip has its own dedicated button i can't figure out for the life of me how to grind i just keep pressing any button after i ollie to see if i snap onto a ledge but nothing works and i end up turning into an electrocuted crab right can i try that again oh no you're just gonna fall off the board before i even move thank you why if i put my trust into someone called scab oh and by the way the levels have their own exit points that you can accidentally just ride into because there's nothing i love more on a skating game than leaving the level in the middle of a combo oh look at that that's exactly how i sleep when i'm having a nice dream and then all of a sudden the game completely changes perspectives to a police officer with a taser chasing me what how do i see what i'm doing if the camera is nowhere near me where am i what's the point of this camera angle i'm not controlling the policeman so what's going on wait wait i failed the mission because i lost the cops isn't that the entire idea i'm not looking for an internship at the police station i'm a skater boy who says see you later boy okay let's try grinding again and i don't know i'm out of idea should i just try pressing the board pushing button you're kidding so let me get this straight you press the x button to start pushing your board then hold one of these three buttons to ready yourself let go of the button to do the jump trick and then press the push button again to grind what is it with tony hawk rip-offs and never ripping off what made the game so enjoyable in the first place this is gormless who wants to sit there and learn all of these stupid specific actions just to do a single trick that takes two button presses in any other skating game you can't snap onto the rails either no you have to land on them perfectly while pressing the push button because we've got to be realistic in our skating game with edges of curbs that push you backwards and ragdoll physics hey how are you doing okay i hear the sirens coming it's time to leave the level before the game turns into the police version of doom and i lost anyway cool thanks again scab and i'm really loving this noise that won't stop repeating itself in the background it sounds like someone's having a stroke and not the bad kind skate and destroy where was the destruction oh yeah uh a disney's extreme skate adventure i forgot to film anything funny me okay well terrifying box art aside could this really be any worse than disney sports skateboarding it did come out a year afterwards so did they learn anything oh what's this our good friends at toys for bob made a return wasn't expecting that at all and tony hawk's raspberry jam wasn't too bad so maybe this one is actually good okay wait a sec hang on did i put a disney game in here or tony hawk jr where are the cartoons i mean yeah this kid kinda looks like mickey mouse but this isn't disney at all so apparently when this game was being made disney themselves must have run a competition to get one real-life boy and one real-life girl to star as themselves in this game and the winners of these skating tournaments were the deciding factor that's pretty cool i've got to be honest but why the hell would i want to play as them when i can play as a wide gaping mouth woody or how about dead eye buzz ripped simba inside out teeth tarzan or drunk pumbaa what's my name this time that's easy meat and this game is good actually this game is really damn good i'm stunned a game with this cover actually may be one of the best skating games i've ever played that isn't from tony hawk and woody bailing looks hilarious if you want to play an explorative mission-based collect-a-thon skating game but don't want tony hawk and want to skate around as a god damn elephant you play this it even caters to newcomers and young people with a special kid mode that gives you automatic grinds and special tricks just for pressing singular buttons and then the pro mode is exactly like regular tony hawk with all the familiar button layouts and direction input styles to make tricks happen and i must stress for a second if you make a skating game copying tony hawk controls entirely is not a requirement and doesn't automatically make your game good if you've got an original take i'm all for it but the thing is the tony hawk control style is so simple to grasp and makes perfect sense for veterans or beginners whereas going too out of the box with something like thresh's skate and destroy with separate trick buttons and a push button there's also a grind button is so unintuitive it's almost like you playing a driving game that swaps the left and right steer controls around it's the same reason why most first-person shooters nowadays use triggers to aim and fire and the right stick to move the camera tony hawk games just found the perfect style of control for this kind of skating game and improving upon it isn't really possible if you ask me hence toys for bob had the very wise idea to license and then utilize the tony hawk pro skater 4 engine to make this game the point is in this game you get to skate with your favorite disney character birdie the gameplay here is awesome you complete missions by exploring the massive levels and talking to all the characters who need help while collecting objects hidden all around the area to get you better accustomed to the design of the game as you finish missions you unlock more skaters from each disney movie series more levels from each disney movie series and more customization options for your very own creator skater where you can end up making some nightmare creations with my overhanging tummy and fat ankles squeezed into tiny boots i look just like honey boo boo oh nice you can make your kid wear a thong all of a sudden disney gathering all these kids together doesn't sound so fun disney's extreme skate adventure is fantastic i highly recommend it if you take a tony hawk game remove the men being sick in toilets and then slap buzz lightyear on it you get this game and hey while we're on the subject of disney [Music] yeah did you forget that disney owned the simpsons i forget that at least once every two days but i'll never forget the first time i played simpson's skateboarding on the ps2 yes once again i'm revisiting another game from the vaults of my old horrible reviews like a cockroach after a nuke my past always comes back to make me itch what's this no memory card oh what a shame i guess that means i can't play the game anymore so thank you so much for tuning in everybody i'll see you on the next category show same time next week where i'll be stomping on a kitten live on camera well hey look at that the first thing i see in this game is something that makes absolutely no sense and the sad thing is that this still makes more sense than anything else you're about to see the intro to this game is quite simply hideous one of the worst i've ever seen it's just a barrage of colors and an onslaught of ugly edits enough to give you a seizure or make you feel like you're dying from leprosy i mean look at this come on they couldn't even cut out the white in between bart's armpit and then after possibly the worst intro of all time you get greeted to one of the worst opening themes of all time that either sounds like your cd is scratched or you're having convulsions after this well this screenshot here should tell you all you need to know about the level of quality we're dealing with marge looking like a squid and homer looking like a wee cold can of spam this is easily one of the ugliest ps2 games ever made from the starting gate and then you actually get going and think to yourself oh you know maybe i should try doing some tricks on the ground right now like in every skateboarding game ever made but oh no you can't oh no no joke if you try to do something as simple as a kick flip 75 percent of the time it won't work and you'll be eating some grass-covered dindins instead once again you've got to push yourself along with a forward push without automatic acceleration from holding down your ollie button taking all the flow and momentum out of the gameplay but i'd be able to get my head around this if the game let me push my board up slightly steep slopes or let me get out of half pipe bowls that i can't escape from but you can't this then compounds with an absolutely pathetic ollie that sometimes flies you up to space and other times barely leaves the ground meaning that you won't clear gaps and sometimes you'll just accelerate from zero to piss off in half a second absolutely nothing works in this game it's actually a miracle how broken it is as well as ugly i mean you look at that and tell me that's a person that's not a person it's a mound of beef don't forget the overly sensitive balance meter either or the fact that you have running commentary from your character and kent brockman throughout the entire game and none of them ever shut up oh no kick flip cover tailed radical very well done well done sure you could always argue that all these different characters have different stats that are better for different kinds of skateboarding tricks but what i'm going to say in response to that is that tony hawk also has that system but you're not absolutely incompetent at the start of the game you can still do things even if not as good as you will be able to later but here you can't do anything i mean look at this most of the time you can't even grind anyway and instead have the rail stick itself through your head personally though i didn't do much else because i decided to give up after i got decked in the head by a car and then another one and then another one and then another one and then ken brockman said give it to me baby while lisa said for the 47th time this is absolutely categorically definitive garbage the bubsy 3d of sports games probably one of the worst ever made sure phoenix games had this abomination five years after simpson's skateboarding but that's phoenix games they probably put a blank disc into a sandwich toaster and then said game's done but considering this is the simpsons and sold at a much higher price than a phoenix game ever would i'm shocked that no one seemed to care if this game even worked oh was that harsh was it was i a little bit mean did that hurt your feelings do you think that was a little bit too far have you played this thing i don't know how anybody in the dev team tested this and thought it was passable it's borderline impossible to play it's not even so bad it's good i don't feel any misguided passion or over-inflated egos behind the creation of this all i feel is the bitterness of an entire team who didn't want to make this considering it was aimed at kids as well who probably didn't know or care who a tony hawk was it's probably the most cynical cash grab ever made for a licensed game it copies the tony hawk level design tony hawk game structure tony hawk mission style and even tony hawk button layout but butchers every other element up so magnificently it makes me question why they didn't just do a full-blown rip-off of tony hawk entirely sure it would have been unoriginal but it would have been a good game look at this if you even somehow managed to win a single thing in this game all that satisfaction and frustration is spat back in your face as you only make 10 cents for it 10 cents for it 10 74 10 cents 10. [Music] wait are you telling me that i'm going through all of this toss for a grand prize of 99 are you insane i use that kind of money to blow my nose and wipe it on homeless people and you're expecting me to nearly die for that 99 shred springfield with pleasure [Music] [Applause] okay then if a tony hawk ripoff can't give me no satisfaction then i'm gonna have to run back into the arms of the man himself and what better way to go back to him than with tony hawk ride on the xbox 360. tony hawk rode off so this game this bloody game here this seventh generation console classic just so happened to be developed by robomodo the same lovely chaps behind tony hawk's pro hate my life five and immediately you must be asking yourself why such a big big big book well because this entire game is controlled by this infernal thing oh yes by using your body weight and these fancy sensors dotted all over the board this game expects you to have some tiny amount of skating ability before going into it or at least the experience of being able to stand and weight shift on a board and i'll give credit where it's due this thing is solidly constructed it's not that flimsy in fact if you stuck trucks and wheels on it you could feasibly skate on it so well done which also means i can smash it over and over again against a wall and it will never break wow after 10 years of games i can finally ride tony hawk and in order for you to see what the hell it is i'm experiencing i decided to install this special gym jam cam so that you can get the best view of every angle once tony hawk gets rid of so right off the bat this game begins in the dumbest way i've ever seen why go to the effort of making a super expensive experimental gaming peripheral and then put controller buttons on it including a start button only to then tell me that i need a controller to navigate the menus and hit the start button on that anyway if we were gonna do that why don't we just oh i don't know play the game with the controller this skater just turned pro and now look where we're at this is a true cinderella story just a few days ago they were called up by p-rod for a special mission in southern california oh okay is that it that's our story that was terrible what even was that that explained nothing at all does tony have scurvy what you have in your hands is one of the most advanced game controllers ever made oh you don't say here's my skater and his name is bungalow because his hair looks a bit like a thatched roof now if you're a little concerned about playing this because you've never touched a skateboard in your life i really wouldn't worry firstly because this thing doesn't slip and you are not going to fly out the living room like and secondly because even if you have a little bit of experience like me you will not make this game work i repeat you will not make this game work i didn't even do that oh sure i can push the board i can manual and i can certainly ollie but performing specific tricks is an utter nightmare this board cannot read the more subtle motions it needs to to activate certain tricks and so on this tutorial here the first three minutes of the game no matter how many damn tries i gave it attempting this trick here it never ever ever ever worked what am i doing wrong here am i not riding you hard enough tone and this is just for the tutorial sometimes even things as basic as an ollie doesn't even register for a game so focused on performing tricks and keeping balance at high speeds while jumping onto objects the fact that this controller only lets you perform something as basic as a jump sometimes is enough of a reason why it's a piece of that should never have been released if a new player has just as much chance and luck performing a trick as somebody who put hundreds of hours into it the game probably blows and taking that aside the gameplay that you're treated with here can't be enjoyed since you approach every single objective in exactly the same way that being you just trying to make a move happen forget combos forget doing specific tricks over specific gaps or anything you're just trying to do the basics from the start to the end mix that in with some pretty motion sickness inducing graphics and all the elements blend into a delicate mix of piss and vinegar you're joking i don't care about what fancy tech you have i just want to spend my money on a game that works and tony hawk ride does not work and even if you get it working it's murder on your legs come on this is a video game to play for fun not boot camp for the navy look i just got some of my highest scores and fanciest tricks just rocking the board in any direction i could how is this fair and check this out i was able to get better and more consistent results by sitting down on the thing how is it that i can't do this but by sitting on my stupid ass i'm able to do this in fact how could they even say this is the most realistic skating game of all time when tony hawk's own series already said that itself a few games ago in project 8. so real you don't just skate it you feel it ah yeah happened again i rambled on for a bit too long but just let me ramble for a tiny bit longer because i really need to wash the taste of tony hawk out of my mouth and i'm going to conclude this bone breaking journey quickly talking about in my opinion the best skating games that are not tony hawk the skate trilogy the thing that makes the skate game so brilliant is that they don't copy the tony hawk control style at all but give you a control scheme that feels just as natural as tony hawk while at the same time being 10 times more difficult to get right but 10 times more rewarding to nail once you do get it right you want to know how these games work okay you push the board with a grab the board with your left hand with the left trigger use the right trigger for your right hand and everything else is done with the analog sticks turning left and right slowing down and even pumping your body weight up and down ramps to build momentum is done with the left analog stick while the right analog stick just has a bloody party with your thumb as you need to pull it back and then flick it in certain directions to perform ollies and flip tricks depending on the direction you push or pull the right stick to ready a trick and then depending on the shape your thumb makes the stick move as you flick it that's how you perform tricks and some of the more impressive tricks do feel incredible to pull off once you get the hang of it especially when building it into a combo oh and you also push the right stick forward halfway or pull it back halfway and hold it to stay in manuals which if your thumb is very precise can also be linked into more combos you even need to angle yourself correctly and apply the correct amount of speed to your stick flicking in order to correctly land on rails to grind them without jumping too high or too low but because the physics feels so grounded and the speed realistic it feels way more natural here than the insanity in tony hawk which needs to make you snap onto the rails or else you'll overshoot every grind in the whole game the skate trilogy takes what is on paper one of the most player unfriendly and insane control stars for a sports game of all time and manages to weave the impossible into a ruthlessly challenging yet unbelievably rewarding series of games and i love them you get brilliant career modes incredible soundtracks some of the deepest customization and skating game real-time replay editing with multiple camera angles and effects tons of stuff to unlock and the main gameplay features and control style just kept getting more refined in each game up until skate three where in my opinion it kind of implodes on itself i mean i do love the improved camera in that game but oh this this no good gate 2 is probably my favorite from the trilogy though one is a great time but definitely feels like the first game in comparison to skate 2. in that game there's way more to do it looks beautiful for the xbox 360 runs at a consistent 60 fps and it feels much tighter to play and less loose than the first game your board felt like an extension to yourself more than an unwieldy beast that did whatever it wanted not to mention this game gave you the ability to get off your board and walk around when you couldn't skate to certain areas and you could fail tricks by just tripping over and losing the board instead of falling flat on your face every single time like in skate one oh and how about those multiplayer modes for the party games hall of meat ah all of me i'm looking right at you a local multiplayer mode dedicated to you trying to deliberately outperform your partner in the most painful and insane bales you can while jumping off of ramps the size of skyscrapers you can't not love this feature skate 3 is a good game i guess it's basically more of skate 2 with a few added bells and whistles but it ended up taking away a few other things and it's glitchy up the hole i'm sure you've all seen enough glitch compilations on youtube to know that little tidbit yeah skate 3 has the park editor and the x-ray feature when you break a bone after a bale but the local multiplayer is pissed compared to two and again this stuff kind of gets in the way for me look at the ai in skate three it's practically suicidal no other skate game i played had other skaters interrupting my tricks more than in skate 3 or random pedestrians just standing around questioning the meaning of their existence for me no other skating games feel as much like you're climbing up the ranks in career mode as the skate games not only because the missions mirror real life much more unlike tony hawk's arcade silliness but because the open world here feels as close to a regular location as you would see in real life yet everything has been carefully designed to be skateable and the speed that you can reach is extremely cathartic everything here feels so down to earth chilled out and because of that all the more satisfying as you impress magazines perform for photo shoot and edit the picks yourself and then get sponsors as you climb up to being a pro the most recent skate game came out in 2010 10 years ago christ thanks e8 but if you don't want to dust off your old ps3 or xbox 360 to try these out again don't worry because i managed to find two games on steam made by indie devs who are trying to carry on the legacy left behind by skate session and skater xl now don't worry this won't take me too long to discuss because skater xl is a decent attempt at the skate formula while standing out with a unique left foot on the left stick and right foot on the right stick system but it costs way too much money for a game that doesn't have any real meaty content to it and session is in early access which is all i need to say about it because hot damn does it feel like it's in early access that and i just can't get my head around these controls you fall off of your board so much as a gust of wind breathes on you and this tutorial here is arguably more difficult than standing up like you hold the right stick down or the left stick forward to bend down then flick the left stick or the right stick to pop up the board the opposite direction and you can't grind on a rail unless you push both of the sticks in opposite directions and hold them while you're landing on the rail i just i can't i appreciate the effort here but my fingers can't bend backwards and i would love to check out this new game called deck splash but that ended up being cancelled which i'm happy about because that sounds too much like dick splash so i'm gonna go back to skate hey wanna see a trick that wasn't me and now we're at the end the thing is guys there's only so many different ways i can tell you how a skateboarding game plays because they all really set out to accomplish the same thing so i'm gonna go while doing the coolest trick that i am capable of doing bye [Music] [Music] goddammit and hit bricks bell follow me on instagram and twitter or i'll shove a skateboard right up your special thank you to my executive producers on my patreon page in the description below trepidenos damian castaway in flim the classy one cards the mage dredge and bungo michael o'donnell kenneth d ethan spencer lizzie lizzy in a tizzy heart fire abyss wraith matthew gunthorpe kyle burke greg john richard howard stephen leblanc matthew heinemann iron ninja steve the weave daniel and alex ex-shadowhunter zx red-eyed critics skull man tardis type 40 the game shed ramen wolf 1485 slowpong mitchell reed a.d thornton smith anderson dell nightshade 96 and basil stan mmm leggy boy

Channel: Caddicarus

Views: 1,576,634

Rating: 4.9139891 out of 5

Keywords: tony hawk, tony hawk pro skater 1 and 2 remake, tony hawk's pro skater, pro skater, skateboard, skate, tony hawk's pro skater 1+2, skateboarding, skateboarding games, skate or die, AVGN, NES, Tony Hawk Ride, Phoenix Games, PS2, airblade, pro skater 5, skate 2, skate 3, disney extreme skate adventure, caddicarus, mgs2 skateboarding, MGS2, xbox, playstation, nintendo, tony hawk skate jam, pro skater review, tony hawk review, jontron, completionist, game review, worst, worst games, bad games

Id: 0fFfx7kWPLU

Length: 70min 0sec (4200 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 01 2020