[OLD] Pinocchio by PHOENIX GAMES!! - Caddicarus

[Music] hey there everybody and thanks so much for clicking on this video but before we kick off with another dreadful Phoenix game classic I'd love to thank the sponsor for this episode of cat Icarus app bounty a company I've worked with multiple times and they are very cool guys with a very cool app in which you download other random free apps to earn points which can then be exchanged for gift cards to Amazon Xbox Playstation iTunes Google Play Steam Netflix the loads of places and now you can get even more points than before with the update on the app which is different from when I first promoted this company allowing you to unlock more benefits and more points for playing the games and services you download for a little bit longer so essentially you have different tiers different levels you can get free cash for just playing the game on your phone that you may have wanted to play anyway it's unlimited with the points you can earn and if you don't want the app that you downloaded to get the rewards anymore just delete it and you won't lose any of the points that you earned it's all good so experiment around why don't you just head to the description and use the invite code caddy to get bonus points early and get some of the gift cards a lot faster and any instructions or links that you need are also there in the description for you to see so go and give it a look anyway enough me rambling and on with the video [Music] rings is how you tease my beautiful Phoenix go is Dalmatians three Snow White and the Seven clipper boys and Peter [ __ ] pancreas enough of a fun funny fan Fanny time for you all I bloody well hope so because we have yet another perfect Phoenix game cartoon adaptation of a classic fairy tale on ps2 with another completely innocent entirely coincidental front cover that looks a little bit like Disney but I don't think anyone will notice I mean what else can I say about any of this if you've been following my channel for years then you already know about Phoenix games and the shite that they've shot and if you've never been on my channel before and this is your first video well just look at this box this is real this is a ps2 game officially licensed by Sony human beings looked at this and said yes this is fine and now we're gonna take a look at it and see if it's any better than any of the other ps2 Phoenix games I've talked about before so here's a pause it's a game really here's the thing with the previous Phoenix games they had cartoons put onto the disc absolutely but they were indeed games which means that they all did the bare minimum to get past the Sony gameplay inspectors to justify being on the ps2 in the first place and what semblance of game play was included on to these packages all the same coffee paste donkeys Fleming baby minigames that you can play in real life from a box of toys jigsaw slide puzzles matching tiles painting and not a single game from the other I've seen had something remotely different on them in terms of gameplay content they all did the same thing and Pinocchio is no different except the fact that in the matching tiles game you hear this every time you go wrong because that never gets annoying the sliding tiles game has been replaced with a ridiculously easy swapping and flipping game with a video clip and the painting minigame freezes the secretary up before doing this and then crashing I gotta be honest though Fair Play to Phoenix games they did manage to redo some of Disney's tunes from their own Pinocchio movie and recreate them in this game you remember this classic for instance [Music] I'm not gonna make it well how do you think I feel real Disney Pinocchio I feel just as bad but I have to say they're an entire cartoon you could just go whenever you want oh I guess I'm okay well [ __ ] off then I don't need you anyway part two it's a movie I think as we've learned from before Phoenix games love to rip off Disney for their covers but never follow up with their promise of a knockoff Disney cartoon itself and as soon as this thing begins it's no different not what I was promised whatsoever I mean now that we've started it's obvious this isn't gonna rip off the Disney film I mean look at it it doesn't seem to give any shits at all so maybe instead it's actually going to stick closer to the original story by Carlo Collodi that Disney dramatically changed you know the one where Pinocchio guessed Geppetto in prison for child abuse Jiminy Cricket gets killed by Pinocchio with a wooden hammer Pinocchio then gets captured by abandoned fox and cavernous gates after biting off the cat's paw then he gets locked up for being an idiot and then actually fully turned into a donkey before being threatened to be skinned and made into a drum maybe they stick closer to that story we don't believe me look it up Pinocchio it's [ __ ] up and I regret to tell you that no we do not get any of that but instead we open to a sweet little boy who changes colors every time he breathes random portraits of bearded freaks on the walls and a sentence that makes no sense when the dark of night falls and children drift off to sleep in their beds they dream of magical things and lovely stories this is one such story it's for every child even naughty ones because we grown-ups know that all children are sweet little angels when they are sleeping wait so this is a story for good kids and even bad kids because kids are good when they're all sleeping I don't think English was the native language of this game we also get these singing toys wake me nakia wake up it's time to tell your story come on wake up okay wait what did you just say there'll be children on your adventures and that perks it were already 30 seconds into this cartoon and I feel [ __ ] sick okay girls and boys excuse me can we please have that again okay girls and boys oh thanks no joke that is the single greatest introduction to a character in any film I've ever seen in my life can we watch it back one more time but slightly slower I can watch that all day so after whatever the [ __ ] that was Pinocchio starts reading off a poem kicking us off into the story or was born one special day to make off your true heart dispatch if it was clever hands that said make my body legs and head Geppetto I then had a nasty shock when he chipped too low and broke my [ __ ] okay girls and boy I will wiggle up a puppet just for me it will run in jump wait and see cheer me up when I get out we'll travel well and search for gold well I don't mean to be rude or anything but aren't you already pretty [ __ ] old and before you can think to yourself Christ why did you pet okar Pinocchio's nose to the shape of a [ __ ] butcher knife and give him the most evil expression I've ever seen on a living thing Pinocchio takes his wig clean off and laughs I don't actually know what he does I'm not actually sure please tell me in the comments what you think happened say because I'm lost [Music] your guess is as good as mine and before you can say here you little Dibble give my wig back whatever the [ __ ] that means the singing toys come back to discipline Pinocchio in the worst rhyming I've ever heard in anything ever I'm honestly surprised that actual people thought everything was okay so far we aren't even 90 seconds in come to me my son of would know I'm done what more can I say about any of this no cameras how are you doing today what you didn't notice my new hair it looks the same as it always does I hate you leave me love no don't run off camera before Geppetto could stop him naughty Pinocchio ran up to the door and off down the street but soon he started feeling guilty and like a good son came back home wait how does that make him a good son exactly the little [ __ ] steals a wig probably killed the cat and then ran away into a blizzard and he came home because he felt guilty and if judging the narration at the beginning is anything to go by it seems as though this film is obsessed with teaching the kids watching a lesson so don't tell us that's perfectly okay because it isn't and he promised to stop being naughty and go to school he was such a good puppet hang on wait a second I would know that dirty creepy over approving a child behavior voice from anywhere they were such good boys weren't they yes the narrator is the same man behind Snow White and the Seven clever boys but in Pinocchio he's actually been upgraded from me a storyteller into every single character in the whole animation not kidding even the Blue Fairy later on is voiced by him but we haven't even got there yet hold your horses anyway Geppetto thinks that now is a good idea to send the little [ __ ] off the school which could be depressing political undertones in a future and immediately sent up to a regimented education system and Pinocchio nearly gets to school but as luck would have it the theater is in town and after some more brilliant voice acting Paul lovely theater music but I must go to school Pinocchio trades a spelling book that Geppetto sold his only coat to get for a ticket to this show any chances of me relating or wanting this bull others to succeed are now gone then the play began and this guy was very happy to see Pinocchio walk in the marionette show begins of whatever reason the other puppets on stage actually [ __ ] recognised Pinocchio despite the fact he was only built yesterday it's our Pinocchio hello brother what is it with this guy and making every other word extra law anyway after all this distraction from the actual play the head of the show gets angry with the puppets and hence for the stage himself the director appeared in the theatre he was so huge and fierce why would you say that and then cut to that huge [ __ ] bulge what's wrong with you game I mean he's either really turned on resized pants but regardless it's wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong take pity on me excellent see what will happen to my daddy mercy then suddenly something absolutely incredible happened yes great the animators suffered a fatal heart attack I wish no instead the guy actually feel sorry for this waste of space and gives him money to give to Geppetto when all of a sudden something stops him on the way home yes sweetie nasty criminals hopefully back to the animation studio so we can make your [ __ ] eye move you don't be brain dead [ __ ] they can't counter [ __ ] tow my god don't worry everybody believe it or not we're nearly there but first we need to just see these three nasty criminals steal Pinocchio's money hang him on a tree and then the best character in the story the blue haired Fairy rescues him and if you thought the narrator's voice acting was bad now you ain't since [ __ ] yet oh how on earth did you find yourself on that tree my lord this poor [ __ ] bastard was pushed into a recording booth with no voice acting talent or prior experience and asked to do a non insulting and convincing eloquent adult fairy akin to Disney's example and he comes out with this how on earth did you find yourself on that tree I've got no words and the best thing is that that's the only line the fairy has aside from when she sees Pinocchio suggestive nose growing and comes everywhere why did they say it also doesn't help the Pinocchio's butcher knife nose is actually really deadly whenever he decides to lie I mean look at the tip it would take your [ __ ] eye out and so the fairy like every other [ __ ] idiot in this story takes pity on this pathetic wretched little scab and helps him out not teaching him a single thing about not being terrible all the kids that are watching and then we get the ending yeah the ending when I said earlier that we were nearly at the end I wasn't kidding the island where kids turned into donkeys the giant fish that eats Geppetto while he's searching for a missing Pinocchio both of them escaping the fish and making it home for no key you're turning into a real boy that is all and I mean all summed up in one of the worst excuses for a song I've ever heard in my life and I'm not joking about that usually I would pick this [ __ ] apart and talk about everything that's wrong with it but I really don't think I need to I'm just gonna show it you and I'm gonna react to it and I'm gonna cry I'll be good I promise I'll go straight to school here's that baby I will go and play I won't go with you I'll go with her whoa no I'm turning donkey why is it every time no papa that's the way now I see you smell the puppet toy daddy could be talking to a post I'll always be a puppet how much just how much so why the [ __ ] are you a real boy Leonard puppets are the most okay girls and boys so kids any questions on the story of Pinocchio yes good now [ __ ] off and I'll see you next week and here we are back in the room we're sleeping children dream of stories from dreamland somebody actually wrote that all of our the word children get up from their beds some will be good and do the right thing while others will become naughty silly Potter's like Pinocchio which one is use what will you decide wait well wait was this the point of the cartoon all along to show kids what happens if you wake up one day and be a [ __ ] and tell them to be good instead but we had a happy ending in this story even though Pinocchio was a [ __ ] from the very beginning he was terrible from the second he got his wooden dick shipped off in Japan so AZ okay so as far as Phoenix games go this is easily the worst I've seen so far in terms of effort and quality no [ __ ] were given while they made this but you know what it's so bad it's great and it makes it much more entertaining than the other ones I've seen before so I actually recommend it seriously get some friends together get drunk and have a riot rest assured though is still a huge pile of bugger that deserves nothing but the slaughter so that's something at least but I haven't got a physical copy lucky me to actually slaughter so um maybe maybe someone over there has it yeah let's try about to watch [ __ ] Pinocchio by Phoenix games and until next time a picture better today or watching this video happy freakin birthday to you and please remember to stay beautiful for pay girls and boys die die die die die die subscribe

Channel: Caddicarus

Views: 999,937

Keywords: caddicarus, caddy, james, caddick, game, review, hiddenblock, hidden, block, yungtown, brutalmoose, spacehamstergames, jimmy, whetzel, balrogthemaster, dyk, gaming, dykgaming, didyouknowgaming, completionist, jontron, pbg, peanutbuttergamer, ps1, ps4, pc, modern, retro, reviews, comedy, pinocchio, phoenix games, ps2, knock off, ripoff, copy, disney, full movie, wii, funny, stupid, pinocchio review, pinocchio ps2

Id: Niea8lX_254

Length: 14min 21sec (861 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 13 2017