The Stupid World of Portable Crash Bandicoot Games - Caddicarus

[Music] oh god uh oh messi what's this oh dude i've been invited to the creamery i love cream oh boy oh boy what am i gonna wear uh who will i take with me oh i can't wait to go i'm so excited oh i read that wrong oh well at least they let me take dad home in my cream tasting pot he died how he lived smelling of cream what a depressing day nothing can make me feel any better hang on it's june that's right banter comfy's back portable games games that are portable it feels so good to play a game that you're able to take absolutely anywhere with you no no no not the games themselves stupid i mean games that you're actually able to play away from the house and that's what we're talking about today even though it does feel good to carry your glock 17 right next to a copy of the official uk playstation magazine demo disc issue 38 and it's especially fun when your favorite franchises get the portable treatment i mean don't get me wrong i love pc and console gaming as much as that guy but sometimes when you play a game you don't want the commitment involved in sitting down starting the game up and staying in the living room sometimes you just want to sit down start the game up and stay in the living room and crash bandicoot the untouchable and almighty cash banukah is no stranger to the portable console treatment dating all the way back to the classic game boy advance even until today with the really damn good nintendo switch ports of the insane trilogy and crash team racing nitro fueled oh i specifically remember playing crash bandicoot xs and entranced for the gba for dozens of hours when i was a kid during long car trips only during the daytime though because you know you couldn't see it and after recently giving the new crash bandicoot 4 switch port a try and being surprised with how good it was it made me want to take a look back through the entirety of crash's handheld catalogue to see if any of it was worth going back to hang on a second did i just say that crash has had the portable treatment dating all the way back to the game boy advance silly me smacking the head poking the eye cut my tongue off for most people the game boy advanced crash games are where you would assume he got his handheld debut and i wouldn't blame you for that but that's not true crash didn't start off on handhelds in 2002 he started all the way back in 1998 not with the game boy not with the game gear not with the atari lynx the first handheld crash game ever made was from tiger electronics crash the tiger website for expanded gameplay what words immediately come to mind when you hear the word tiger pride strength speed power grace we'll take all of those words away and you're left with tiger electronics a company that should be known for creating the furby and lots of other toys but instead is now infamous for their hundreds of trash portable gaming systems from the 90s where every single gaming franchise you can imagine was stripped of all dignity shat on top of a cheap piece of plastic and then sold at low prices as single individual games that were perfect for little timmy's birthday sonic the hedgehog battle toads castlevania the addams family every game you can think of from the 90s ended up on these things like a fungus was unfortunately no exception do you remember my pixar games video from last year when we took a look at the zizzle well that is basically exactly what tiger games were lcd screens with a handful of printed images on them that light up at different times to simulate movement when you press a button 6400 screen and digitize sound oh my god well if it has did you digitize sounds then i'd better put her just one on my credit credit card from my bank account you kids think that the original super mario brothers looks primitive these kinds of things were coming out 10 years after that game i'll tell you you've got it lucky nowadays with your switches and your iphones and your [Music] v-tech now there are actually a few crash bandicoot lcd games floating around out there including two mini arcade cabinet styled ones made by manly toy quest what manly toys are you questing for crash and there's even this one from tiger electronics themselves where you need to do what crash does best locate the treasure of the mysterious mr cruel my favorite crash character next to dr naughty however for love nor money i couldn't find any of these online except one the first crash one that tiger made the first crash bandicoot handheld game ever in fact and here it is digitized sounds now i know what you're thinking daddy caddy that's not a game that's a clam but you're wrong look just open it up like a walkie-talkie and you have a video game it's magic we turn it on the game boots up and okay so right off the bat i'm confused how is an lcd screen tiger electronics game giving me the choice to start a new game and load a saved game surely that's too advanced and what about the game itself it's actually miraculously enough a 3d platformer that you can freely control what wet and soggy dimension did i slip into here okay so believe it or not there's actually a reason for this this here is not your standard tiger electronics game it's actually a special edition version of a tiger handheld known as a 99x hence this game is commonly referred to online as crash bandicoot 99x simply put they were more advanced than their cheap pound shop counterparts but not by much i mean the graphics actually move so that's a star and they do have all of those digi digitized sounds that they promised me but just look at it you're still playing with a pager that moves at like three pictures per second and instead of a phone call waiting for you at the end of it you have a star-shaped cookie cutter with trousers that runs as smoothly as a lampshade made from human skin i also don't know if you happen to notice that the only one i managed to find online doesn't even work properly and most of the graphics just aren't there have you ever seen a system where the older it gets the more lines of graphics go missing oh that's nice the spiders scream like you set fire to a puppy i don't know guys this is completely unplayable you're better off playing with a meringue this is just my opinion though what does the advert for this thing say into a crash bandicoot game you've never played hey you're right oh my god you can get two of them together and mount them for multiplayer i've always wondered how oysters mate and you know what i'm glad i couldn't find the rest of these things online because do you know how much this single one costed me yes this broken snot green calculator set me back 184 pounds and 36 p that's 250 this is a rare collector's item and gee was it worth it now i know we've only just started but it's already clear to me that i'm going to need some financial backing to help fund my addiction to lcd screen computer games but how will i ever afford to keep buying this rubbish hello i'm spons oh christ and i'm here to tell you all about the amazing company omaze who i've been working with very closely recently to give you all at home the chance to win 20 thousand dollars to build your very own dream pc or you can buy like 80 tiger electronic crash bandicoot games imagine the multiplayer all you need to do is go to omaze.com forward slash cat icarus and enter for your chance to win you can also donate 10 along with your entry which will all go towards supporting the charity school on wheels charity suddenly this all feels very inappropriate yes it is because school on wheels is a genuinely brilliant charity that provides education and support to parents and children experiencing homelessness all across southern california and telling you all of that dressed up as a kite didn't feel right as a step parent of three kids this is a charity that i am 200 behind and as soon as omaze reached out to me with this opportunity to support them i literally couldn't say no i mean i am lucky enough to have never been in this kind of situation but there are thousands out there every day that are struggling and so far school on wheels has helped out over 50 000 people to this day and do i need to remind you that your 10 donation enters you into this sweepstakes for a chance to win 20 000 for the pc build of your dreams gaming video editing 3d modeling even chairs and headsets it doesn't matter go nuts and don't worry nothing will go wrong that only seems to happen to me plus you can also grab yourself an extra 150 entries by using the code radness150 when you enter radness so again that's omaze.com forward slash cad icarus the code is radness150 donate to support a great cause and good luck with your chance of winning twenty thousand dollars worth of really good pc goodies so anyway what's next what there's more lcd screen crash games that were free toys from mcdonald's goodbye nope these numbered spines don't belong to a collection of cash banuka encyclopedias they actually belong to a series of even more lcd screen crash games this time though they were released in 2005 for free from mcdonald's happy meals except i had to buy them on ebay so they weren't free and i'm not happy about that they are exactly what you'd expect for a free toy that came with a cardboard box with four chicken nuggets in it they mostly only require two buttons to work nothing moves they all take place on a single printed picture and the noise oh man the noise yes essentially i spent money on a load of free toys that most kids threw in the bin and all i have to show for it is a herd of geese nails on a chalkboard is a compliment to these things they don't make sounds they honk the visuals suck the gameplay sucks and the cover up i mean i mean a bandicoot bandicoot and i know i know i'm missing quite a lot of the numbers from this collection but there is a reason for that it's because all of the other even numbers belong to spyro lcd games that released at exactly the same time but let's not get ahead of ourselves we're not touching him for a while even though he'd be all nice and leathery there were also some other crash bandicoot mcdonald's toys exclusive to other regions so i couldn't get my hands on them i found osama okay so now the stupid stuff is out of the way let's dig into all the portable crash games that most of you are probably familiar with the game boy advance games and to say that i'm familiar with these is a huge understatement as a kid i adored the first two games and even though i only recently tried out crash nitro cart on the gba i can confidently say i would have loved that as a kid too i mean think about it these were the first proper crash games that were actually portable and made it to portable systems so you can imagine how exciting that was for a seven year old crash fan yes kids you can now play your favorite game series anywhere in the car in the park in the bath and on the toilet [Music] i'm sorry i got confused this isn't a toilet that's a toilet oops the first one came out in 2002 and was called crash bandicoot the huge adventure also known as crash bandicoot xs in europe crash bandicoot xylophone saxophone and it accomplished everything it needed to do at the time by keeping things simple and by making sure to include it took the 2d sections from the ps1 classics crushed them down to fit into 16-bit style graphics and just made a whole game out of it whoa nice graphic but maybe they made things a little too simple because the story here lives not only does it just take still images from crash three's cut scenes and not even make the dialogue entertaining so you can hear cortex go and see him blame everything on the bundy but somehow he even manages to shrink the entire planet down to the size of a beef tomato and does nothing but hold it there until crash can stop him at the very end of the game cortex mate [Music] squish crash bandicoot's out of date and that's not all the controls for basic running jumping and spinning may be great and feel really tight but as soon as sliding and slide jumping gets involved all of a sudden the jumps become extremely unresponsive and you will slip slide and slot off the end of most platforms when trying to use it then there's the occasional leaps of faith the dreadful tiny tiger boss fight the terrible final cortex boss and the level that's called snow job so the game ain't perfect but damn it for a 2002 gba game and a crash game in general it's a really good time especially when it comes to the impressive chase sequences and the flying stages which i will say right now are some of the best in any crash game it even manages to bring back the unlockable boss power-ups from crash 3 and forces you to use them far more than crash 3 ever did there's the box gems to collect the time trial relics the belly flopping and even a secret unlockable final boss my nan basically it's everything you'd want from a portable crash game not like this 250 dollar two in one hairbrush and mirror set but was one good crash game enough of vicarious visions oh no because they made a sequel and it had that guy in it here comes my son doo doo doo here comes my son and i say he's an egg crash bandicoot ii entranced the sequel nobody asked for but by god they were getting it anyway and if there were ever a perfect living breathing example of the adage if it ain't broke don't fix it this game is that what i didn't say living and breathing what are you talking about [Music] the story here is that entropy is very cross with crash bandicoot and he's so cross that he lays an egg and the game itself is more or less exactly the same as xylophone saxophone except with new locations that are much brighter and prettier than the first game and feature new themes and colors for copied environments there's new one-off level gimmicks that work really well like the surprisingly tense shark wakeboard chases and the surprisingly good 3d ball rolling segments that control really well despite being on a d-pad and in general the bosses are much better in quality too not to mention they're pretty unique since instead of rehashing crash villain boss fights they're mostly possessed versions of your friends and there's even a boss against fake crash that's more of a puzzle as you trick him into oddly timed traps without you getting hit yourself by the way on crunch's fight all you need to do is stay down and span the fire button you'll never get hit and never need to move what a bread bin but why are you fighting your friends and simpleton clones of yourself well that's because of my aforementioned son the brand new crash villain entrance an angry egg that was created by entropy and is a gifted hypnotist i particularly remember being stuck for ages on his final boss fight when i was eight years old when this game first came out it's a good fight and it's even two phases jumping from a donkey kong country esque fight at the very start to a bullet hell pinball fight in da air going back though it's not particularly hard or anything it's just him he upsets me i think i was more intimidated by his design when i was a kid and it caused me to make a ton of mistakes i mean look at his size here now i love a good stomp but i don't want to be stomped on by that and this face this face let's play a game what kind of eye infection does he have conjunctivitis cellulitis uveitis seeing a doctor i knew there was something wrong with my last checkup you know what i also don't like half of the power-ups here either the crash dash is back for all the relic time trials and yes crash still looks like a mangled child having a fit whenever he uses it and the death tornado spin is back plus you even have the double jump from the very start of the game but the other two power-ups suck first off is a super slide which looks cool but mostly just fires you right into your death like and after that is the rocket jump which looks cool but mostly just fires you right into your death like what i'm getting at is that they are entirely situational and are only useful whenever the game requires you to use them as extra utilities to crash's movement they're terrible and since they all involve you holding the l button which is the same button for the crash dash they bork the time trials because you will accidentally activate them in the middle of using the crash dash all the time plus whenever you use the rocket jump crash's model looks like a weasel that just got run over and he was probably run over by himself when he was in a go-cart on crash nitro cart for the game boy now don't get me wrong i'm fully aware how ridiculous the very idea of a gba port of a ps2 game is i mean how do you put this in this well you put it in it to be fair though seeing as the most popular games in the gba's library consisted of 16-bit styled games it's really easy to forget that it could do 3d and do it relatively decently with minimal casualties crash nitro cart though now mate listen here sunshine this one's one of the good ones you get i mean it's impressive from the outset with how detailed the character models are sure they're bit crushed and pre-rendered from the ps2 models but i'll be damned they look pretty spot-on and even though the tracks suffer from the original super mario kart problem of all of them feeling exactly the same because they're all flat they still look great and run extremely smoothly except when there's more than four cards on the screen and then it starts running like grandfather ploppy but man aside from that this is a great version of nitro car in fact for how quickly it loads the fact it's portable and the fact it feels faster than the original because it's on a tiny screen i'd argue this is the best version of nitro car it's just as fun as a divorce from a wife that you hate it's got the power ups the bosses a more catchy and memorable soundtrack and they managed to keep in the risk reward boost system that made nitro cart stand out to begin with where you jump into a drift and then wait until the very last second of this gauge running out to activate the most powerful three combo boost you can i also love the little things like how they tried simulating the wheels spinning around by having the top half of the wheel flash faster and faster it's adorable they even managed to include voice clips from the ps2 game despite all of these games not being perfect though crash xs crash 2 entrance and crash nitro car are a fantastic little trio for crash's first proper dive into actual portable gaming now what should i look at next i don't really know is there anybody i can ask oh i know scott hey scott this is really important what portable crash game should i look at next i don't care oh i thought you would why why are you asking me about crash bandicoot i don't know because you look like him what look we both know that there is more to those blue outlines in all of your videos why don't you tell everybody at home where that blue outline comes from i don't know what you're talking about oh yes you do should we zoom out and take a look you're bluffing wanna screw around and find out okay fine i'll give you the next game too late no don't do it oh god now everybody knows you make your videos on crash's pants don't you yes i do on his junk yes fine now just take this and leave me alone thanks scott and it's it's crash purple on the game boy advance they could have had a perfect little game boy advanced trilogy of crash games but oh no they had to make another one and name it after the color of a boil let me take you back to mid 2004 for a second and a horde of screaming kids are storming the gates of congress pleading nay demanding a crash bandicoot and spyro the dragon crossover game ever since the late 90s the two playstation mascots were very aware of each other and had been dropping hints and easter eggs in their games cross-promoting each other whether it be through secret demos on menu screens or even secret unlockable characters like in nitro cart gba so it only made sense that at some point they should both get an official adventure so with that congress stepped up to the podium and said fine here's crash purple and spyro orange and the disappointment felt was so monumental that when the children all grew up 16 years later they came back with a vengeance this this was crash purple's fault but you know what i can't even pretend for a single second that i didn't absolutely love this game when i was 10 because i totally did but we don't talk about that it's actually known as crash fusion in europe and i spent hours and hours on it so long in fact that i ended up getting every single collectible card in the game which is only possible from not only finishing the entire game 100 but also spending thousands of wampa fruit at crate shuffling shop stores and slot machines until you land on random cards that you may be missing while also having a high chance of landing on cards that are duplicates and you also need to play a shitload of multiplayer with another person with a gameboy advance and a copy of spyro orange but hey i got all the collectible cards and crashed purple so i don't care i'm better than you oh no so yeah the final gba crash game was part of a double pack that you also needed spyro orange 4 to complete and i did a video on spyro orange itself a while ago long story short it's a watered down and cookie cutter mini game collection it's one of the worst games i've ever played and every time i see it in public i try to avoid it the story here is that cortex is good friends with ripto from spyro and they want to work together that's it and then crash and spyro meet each other face to face for the first time ever in gaming history and decide to bomb each other with molotov cocktails these cutscenes as well are absolutely hideous all they needed to do was get half decent pictures to act as comic strip panels like in all the other crash gba games and instead they gave akuaku kidney failure but what about the game itself well i'm thrilled to say it's nowhere near as terrible as spyro orange is even though it's identical in structure you have 2d overworlds where you do extremely basic platforming in order to find mini game levels hiding around behind the bike sheds and then you beat all of them to open a boss and beat the boss to get to the next world but unlike spyro orange which relied on slow boring and piss easy mini games that had nothing to do with spyro's gameplay and were repeated with different sprites over and over and over again at the very least crash purple makes more of an effort to feel like a crash game even though you can't slide or slide jump in the platforming bit all they wanted was a good crash panda cookie most of the mini games are crash platforming related whether it be side scrolling auto riders on the polar bear breaking all the boxes in a short stage as fast as possible skimming across water on a motorized lemon or falling down look michael douglas even when they aren't doing that there is more variety to the mini-games there's methodical free-roaming tank stages wait what is this crashly bashling there's sheep blasting with a bazooka before they reach the nitro crates behind you well done crash you murdered all of the baby animals and there's even jetpack stages where you tap and hold the a button to control your height as you glide along take that flappy bird don't misunderstand me though there isn't anything that imaginative going on and these money bags tends to spend all the whopper fruit you collect are absolutely useless since they're only good for collecting cards which do absolutely nothing this means that just playing the actual game here will only take you around an hour to 100 complete i'm not kidding so as a kid my parents essentially spent 40 pounds on half of a game with my sister getting the other half for another 40 pounds that's 10 times worse than the first half thank you me but now i'm about to throw a spanner in the works did you guys know that these four crash bandicoot games are not the only ones on the game boy advance yeah totally true there's technically another one that's hidden on the cartridges for crash purple and crash nitro car and all you've got to do to access them is put the games in like normal start them up but hold the left and right triggers while the game is loading up it's a secret just like billy idol's real name william idealistic and after all of that fuss you're rewarded with crash party what the hell is this game like [Music] it's horrible and with that we are now cleared out with the game boy advanced stuff so i suppose it's time to move on to the psp game ha got you there's actually one more we're not done yet so shove that in your blowhole yes indeed the rabbit hole keeps going deeper and we are at the final crash gba game known only as crash bandicoot blast but as you can see it's invisible because the only way you can play this one is by owning a gamecube copy of the wrath of cortex and amazingly enough the copy i found on ebay even came with a note hey caddy sorry to see you're having pc issues mate hopefully our fave game of all time will cheer you up thank you sprite x6 vintage say hello to mr and mrs vintage for me and tell them that sprites x6 is a name for their child once you get the game in your gamecube you start it up like normal and then directly plug in your game boy advance into the fourth controller port with a cable that looks like a funny hat after clicking on the mini game in the main menu and following the instructions this downloads the game temporarily onto your game boy advance i guess i'm not sure how this whole thing works but more importantly after going out of your way to own a gameboy advance own a gamecube own a copy of wrath of cortex and own a connection cable what do you get you get a game where you control crash in a silent nightmare realm using bazookas to shoot down more innocence than george w hedge you play for about one minute and then you get an advert for crash bandicoot the huge adventure which was not called a huge adventure in this country so sorry to all the uk kids out there that were going mad looking for a game that didn't exist don't forget this game was available in 2002 so let's tally up the price of admission to have a go at the not very good shooti bang bang crash game you would have needed a new gamecube at two hundred dollars a new game boy advance a hundred dollars a copy of wrath of cortex for fifty dollars and a link cable for what i would assume would be around twenty dollars because i couldn't find an original prize anywhere online that means that this single piece of crash history technically would have costed you 370 dollars just to find it and after all of that your secret reward is a game that's the equivalent to a wet tissue sprite x6 you are not my mate i mean what can you say you point you shoot you point you shoot you point you shoot but don't shoot your friends though what are they gaining crawling around the area where the bad guys are why are they popping their heads up when they know i'm shooting can't they hear me shooting it's the only sound that exists in this world or maybe they just want to die for a quick and easy way out of this mess because for all intents and purposes this game is as much fun as gangrene and to give gangrene credit at least it came out a long time ago and is still going strong today the same can't be said for the psp we're back on the psp the puss this is the portable system i think i've spent the most time on in my life tekken 5 dark resurrection me and my katamari loco roco midnight club 3 mgs peace walker test drive unlimited tony hawk's underground 2 wipeout pure pat so many great games and yes i even did my fair share of do what you want because strangely enough though not a single one of those hours went towards any crash bandicoot game yeah weird right i got the psp for my 12th birthday i was the biggest crash fan child you could ever meet because you like meeting children don't you yet i never bought or asked for any of the crash games that came out on the psp but that changes today with crash tag team racing yep we're not looking at the ps1 classics that you could have downloaded from the ps store directly onto your psp now we're talking about the ones that they actually sold on the shelves and this is a direct port of the worst crash racing game okay then here we go my name is um and when i say that this is a direct port of the ps2 game i really mean it because it is virtually identical the same overworld the same race courses the same mechanics even down to the same cutscenes featuring this mechanical talking pair with a german accent look even my beloved black power gem is gone well then you'd better find it before i piss myself obviously this is a portable system trying to run a pretty intensive ps2 game so it isn't absolutely perfect some corners had to be cut like in the races and it's the most visible with the graphics i mean when you try clashing into another car you often get stuck in the floor the exhaust pipes look like bummers and if you look up to the sky you'll notice it looks more like a giant blue wig but everything else is here and accounted for and just like dover it's a great paw in fact dare i say it's my preferred version of the game well aside from when you're running around the park and sure it sucks a bit how you have to stand still every time you want to move the camera since there's only one analog stick and they just couldn't help themselves and had to bring back willy wonka cheeks oh i inked when you remember this is a portable version of a ps2 game that's more or less exactly the same it's a no-brainer for me there's just one problem i don't like tag team racing which means i don't like this and to go into all of the reasons why i would be redundant because i already did that in my previous video about bad crash bandicoot games wink wink so even though this is my preferred version despite the frame rate it's still the same bad game you can't polish a turd you know it's like being forced to wear a dirty and smelly t-shirt that says i use crowded trains to sniff women on it sure you can wash the bad smell away but you're still being forced to wear it but you know what you can't wear video games and crash of the titans on psp is one of them oh god oh god oh help me no we're all gonna die it's a swarm of angry red now i don't remember any of this game at all from when i first played it on the xbox 360 not that long ago but i'm pretty sure the story wasn't cortex wants crash to dig a hole and crash doesn't want to dig the hole and then cortex wants to kill him my name is george and much like tag team racing the psp edition of crash of the titans is exactly the same game as the original but now with even less sound effects and confusingly enough they made the brave decision to replace crash bandicoot with a melting chimp yeah if you thought the originals character models were gross the psp makes them look even worse are they covered in vaseline maybe these are the manly toys we were looking for earlier and akuaku may be captured but he loves it what more can i say you run around through linear empty areas beating up monsters and then sometimes you can stun bigger monsters that you can possess and then use them to beat up more monsters it really is the same exact damn game again just with psp graphics how does anybody like this crash it's not that this game isn't classic crash why i don't like it it's that it's boring the combat is boring the levels are boring the jumps are boring the mind jacking slows you down but i go over all of this in my other video about bad crash games wink wink wink oh nose i have a bad crash game on psp just like mine over mutant yep if the psp version of titans has anything to go by i can only assume that this one is the same story my name is uncle d now i may not have remembered that much about titans but when it comes to mutant i remember that game just as much as that classic line from lord of the rings you shall not touch the ring now wouldn't you know it may be portable but this is the same thing as the 360 version which is more or less already the same as titans you run around beat up monsters mind jack them and then store the infidels the platforming is a little bit better and such but again i've already talked about that so i can't say much else you still have to run around and collect coco's parts and keep them in your basement and crash still looks like a cosplaying malnourished old man [Music] now that that that is just beautiful hanging up in my conservatory in conclusion mind over mutant on psp is just a better version of titans on psp but now the cutscenes look absolutely disgusting and that sound quality is something to behold i didn't like that hi oh my god you're the world famous idris elbow yep that's me what what are you doing here here's a game well how nice of you gee i meet a celebrity bye and he gives me a video game could things possibly get any better crash of the titans on the nintendo ds is a game that greets you with crash looking at possibly the worst he's ever looked hey there man you look healthy well i suppose i need to pick a save file and whoever had this cartridge before me had a file on here called badass i can't overwrite that it's too good i need to start on a fresh file and my name is grim i've got a question for you do you like crash of the titans on xbox 360 and psp well then have i got some great news for you take a guess what you do in this game just with nintendo ds graphics oh hey coco coco how you doing you all right you look you look a little bit sick you're a bit under the weather you you want me you want me to go get you you wanna you are you wanna monkey donald in all fairness though i think i actually prefer this one over all of the other ones i mean the levels are still long the gameplay is still repetitive and it is still yet another version of crash of the titans but at the very least they do try to make the ds version its own thing instead of exactly the same thing but with worse graphics the levels themselves while still long are a little bit shorter than the main game the platforming is a little bit more interesting and check it out they even added in classic crash bonus platforms to take you to a side scrolling bounds round [Music] oh i've got to say this is the best version of the crash dance i think i've ever seen look at the confidence in that hip thrust it's a statement look at the certainty look at the conviction he is giving the air his seed and then it goes and ruins everything by including pointless touchscreen mechanics it's a nintendo ds game so i'm not surprised but it's still very annoying if you want to possess a stunned enemy you need to swipe the screen towards the direction that the enemy is and the same goes for firing projectiles which would be fine except most of the time it barely registers or outright doesn't work oh and did you think the psp mind over mutants sounded bad then you sir have not heard crash of the titans on the ds [Music] oh yes my favorite enemy old man breathing down [Music] phone upgrade wow yeah i feel stronger already that pathetic hairball sleeps through anything did they did they add a laugh track to the cut scenes a laugh track in a cash banuka game oh great crash farts whenever he double jumps now i'm happy that included this that's just what he needed you know because farts are just so funny right then what's next mind over mutant on the ds yeah because you know what's even better than two versions of mind over mutant three versions of mind over music i just don't understand this did all of these multiple versions of titan sell well enough to justify making this who was buying these was it you well then screw you well whatever the case it doesn't matter here we are with the durst version of mom and what do you know it's exactly the same thing as the xbox 360 and psp version wait what no hang on is this is this a 2d crash platformer like the gba games and we can bounce on crates double jump belly flop slide and slide jump and even do the death tornado spin glide my god thank you thank you mind over mutant ds i never thought i'd say this but there's a version of mind over muted that i actually really like that doesn't rely on any kind of monster possession you swindled me well that didn't last very long now did it don't let this game trick you like it did me for a good five minutes i thought we had something different here that i could happily recommend but once you realize it is exactly the same mindless button-mashing monster stunning tree breaking gameplay you all know and no but now it's on a more restrictive 2d plane giving you even less chances for combat variety and chances to get away from enemies you then sit back and realize gosh this really is the worst version of the titans and mutant formula that you can play you can only move left and right which is extremely limiting in a beat-em-up styled game with enemy groups and any monster that's taller than you you just can't avoid most of the attacks thrown at you which is particularly irritating when the bigger enemies attack faster than your button mashing can physically do every encounter with a big monster will turn into a single button smashing game of whose health bar empties the fastest oh and you see him down there yeah bloody him he never shuts up crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack oh dear the external layer of my bottom teeth fell out also what in the veiny flaps is this they didn't even bother voicing the cut scenes for this one and it came out after titans on the same bloody console i've got leprosy okay i'm done no more titans no more mutants i've talked about those series of games even more than the good crash games he's actually best known for so i think it's time to move on to something else what's next ah thank you child sweatshop factory worker your check for three pennies will be on the floor next to them i don't want to live anymore the story here is that cortex is a baddie crash is a goodie and you need to stop cortex before he slithers into your bottom and as for the game take a wild guess what you do go on take a guess oh and it's in 2d so just like mind over mutant ds you can't really do much with enemies other than hit one button over and over and over again until one of you dies this is downright embarrassing i can't think of any other crash game that has had as many official console ports as crash of the pissing titans and the original wasn't even that good to begin with and now you get to play it again but with very stiff controls and cardboard cutouts i would say more but we currently live in a youtube climate where if i say anything out of order there's a very high chance that i'll look here even akuaki was fed up with this bomb why does he have the nose of miss piggy and with that we are finally done with all of the portable console crash games yep none i'm all done there isn't a single one left i'm all finished oh yeah you thought i forgot about this one didn't you well trust me i wish i had but alas i remember bugging me in baghdad i remember now immediately the red flags should be waving in your face for two reasons one this is a party game that's a spiritual sequel to the already below mediocre crash bash please don't lose just let one in come on let one in what where did that come from what i spat all over my chin and two this title screen is completely blank while a skinny hunchbacked goblin is lolloping away from a purple sock with legs time to pick our main character for this whale of a party game then and now i regret not killing myself when i was five can somebody out there please tell me what these things are and why they were put into this game this is 2006. how do fake game boy advance 3d graphics from 2002 look better than this crash looks like if jeff the killer turned into a kite coco has trees for ears and her arms are the oars of a rowing boat and you know what i thought per the tiger was missing since he first appeared in crash 3 human legs and short shorts coco's face too my god how much more of a minger could you look her face is so mangled it looks like a hedge maze i haven't been this disgusted since i last looked at my step-daughters hey honey have you seen my coat don't worry caddy i found it you know what i'm going to pick pinstripe for now because he is the least awful looking one and i'm gonna call him mumps and if you chose the single player mode you won't be happy with the story either we've got this new character that has never appeared in any crash media before or since this game and he's called you know what he's never mentioned by name in this entire opening a brand new character for crash a brand new game and we don't even know who he is aside from the fact he makes a face like he has been trying to find a thing for a long time but can't find a thing so he created a tournament full of battles in order to trick the participants into finding the thing he's looking for what hey kids i'm akuaku and i'm going to tie you in a sack and throw you in a river in the most basic terms crash boom bang bing bong boom bingley bungley boo is a mario party ripoff but just worse you roll a dice move along a board deal with whatever space you land on fight in mini games collect points from mini games use them on the game board to help you win pick up items to help you or disrupt other players it ticks all the boxes including that single one that you missed because you're a stupid so off the bat it does sound a bit more interesting than crushing basham but it's how the game decides to try being different from mario party when it all goes else over tea kettle first of all you all roll the dice and move at the same time meaning you can never strategize what items to use now or save for later because you never know where characters are going to be or what space they're going to land on or what items they're going to use at the same time as you and then secondly instead of keeping things streamlined and simple like every other mario party game they decided to make the game work like this at the start of your turn you only have a few seconds to make it perform every decision if you want to roll the dice you press the touchscreen and skip the countdown but if you want to use an item you have to open a separate menu in the touchscreen that obscures the map of the board so you don't know if the item will be useful for you on the board because you can't see where anybody is if you take too long deciding what item to use your time goes ahead without you having a say and the game moves on like normal but if you aren't paying attention to the top screen you won't know where you are or the other players are because that's where the game's happening sometimes you'll come to a fork in the road where the game tells you to pick a direction to move but in order to do that you need to use the d-pad to choose instead of the touchscreen which you've been using the whole time and by the way make sure you use the touchscreen to open the map up when you use the d-pad otherwise you won't know where you're going except in these parts where you can only pick one direction so why are you giving me a choice oh okay what's going on pinstripe is leaving see you later buddy get out of the game while you're still cast so yeah more often than not you'll land on spaces that take you to some other random part of the world but none of this is made clear to you and you don't have any idea where you all the rest of the players are since you disappear from the original map when this happens and it gets even more confusing when someone uses an item that randomly changes the position of every player on the ball you collect points from mini games but that's only if any mini games get triggered and the game can even end before the end of the ten term limit depending on how far ahead a player makes it across the board but making it to the end is not the deciding factor on the winner because ultimately is who has the most points from the mini games and they can be very difficult to win because the other players can distract you as many times as they want by spamming their own stickers on your screen thus subscribing your view and causing you to lose however luckily you can combat this by using your own stickers and throwing them on the other players but the game wants you to also customize the sticker with the touchpad in the middle of your round in a separate touchscreen menu next to the map in the item menu when you've only got a few seconds to decide what items to use and what direction you want to go on the board so what ends up happening is that you're trying to make your own sticker but then your move happens automatically and you don't have a clue where you are or where anyone else is and you think that making stickers is easy with the touchscreen but it isn't because in order to customize the default sticker you can't just drag and drop whatever you want from any menu you need to go to the correct sub menu of the item of the sticker that you want to bin in order to move that individual item to the bin so you have to go through a million different sub menus to guess what the correct category is for each item on the canvas that you want to replace and then after all that you have to go back to the other sub menu that you went to in order to pick the thing that you want to drag and drop into it so by the end this was all i was able to do because i couldn't figure out how to do anything better and it perfectly sums up how i feel about this whole thing oh and you want to talk about the mini games are they fun do they control well are they better than the crap they had in crash tony bastiani sure let's go over them why not there's a game where you play spot the difference there's a game where you guess what number a baseball will be thrown at there's a game where you guess where a person will appear from the floor and hope you can slowly walk over to them before the computer players which is never there's a game where you blow just blow and i got that one three times on the same match oh and if you lose some of the mini games you can get knocked out but then you have to sit there and watch everybody else finish it without you and no you can't skip it i tried this is more exciting than the nba oh great well now the game won't pick up anything from my microphone at all for no reason blow the balloon up you blasted meat and it's a shame that it isn't the 1920s because mumps isn't doing so well here you want to know my favorite part of this game though there isn't even an option from the start to play any of the minigames separately from the rest of it roll up roll up come and get your pooey ticket for pooy cricket i can confidently say out of every crash game i've ever played in my life this is the worst one easily no contest this one wins the brown trophy congratulations crash boom bang that takes a lot of effort hey you yes you over there yeah come back here right now young man you can't keep getting away with this i've played every single portable game you've ever made and none of them seem to be very good so what are you playing at don't you run away from me i'll get you in a second just you wait and see i crash on the run on the run from who the irs well would you look at that not only the latest portable crash game but the latest crash game period released in 2021 for current gen iphone and android devices developed by the same people behind candy crush my favorite yep i didn't see that one coming either but in all fairness the idea of a non-stop running crash game where you swipe left right up and down to avoid obstacles is one that does make perfect sense when you consider all the boulder chasing levels from the past and the fact that crash is mostly a linear 3d corridor platformer to begin with there's nothing wrong with the concept i mean even sonic dash was a fun time a few years back and it's yet another crash game you can play on the toilet what's not to love adding to that on my iphone xs max the game looks really nice for an iphone app and runs at a consistent 60 frames per second even though i tend to get stuck in the floor quite a lot people think i'm insane because i am browning all the time crash bandicoot on the run is a very simple game in the single player you pick one obstacle course level at a time within many different worlds which always end with you defeating the henchman of the boss of the world that you're in beat all of the henchmen and you unlock the boss fight which is more of the same except you need to tap the screen to fire projectile items at the correct moment while avoiding more obstacles after that you unlock more replayable aspects of the game like gem challenges where you have to collect all whomper fruit in a stage or defeat all the enemies and the time trial relics where you need to break second stopping crate and get to the end of the stage with the fastest possible route my god there's even more platinum relics for me to collect all of this together unlocks more levels and contributes to completion it's the basic shindig so it sounds like a done deal right a decent crash game that plays well controls well and follows the formula well but there's one massive thing i've neglected to mention in between every level you choose to do you have to wait and i don't mean that there are level cooldown timers before you can attempt them again or anything like that i mean you need special collectible tools to access every single level and you get these tools by finding ingredients in the endless running collection levels and then putting the correct ingredients into a machine and then those tools sometimes need to be added back into the machine with other tools to get different tools which then sometimes need to be done multiple times over in order to access a single level to give you an idea how long this may take well there's only a certain limited amount of ingredients in every single collection run and only a certain type of ingredient that exists in all the levels that you have available and after you do that collection run there's a cool down in order for you to do that collection run again then there's the cooldown of you adding the ingredients into the machines to create a tool and for each element version of each tool you only have three slots to create those after upgrading them so even if you have the right amount of ingredients you are most likely gonna be stuck waiting for one lot of tools to be made before making more you can also do special challenge runs for each level of each world where you need to hit every crate in order to get more ingredients but not only does that mean you having to play the challenge perfectly in one go on every attempt but also means that you have to wait 24 hours in order to do the challenge again once you beat it and that's only for one kind of ingredient add this on top of all the other tools you need to create with other lesser tools that also need creating and this makes the whole game move along slower than old porridge you have to repeat so many runs of exactly the same stages over and over again just to farm the items you need to unlock one single player level on top of the wait time and i have no idea if this was included only recently but i did notice that the collection runs were made literally three times faster than they ever were when i originally started playing so they clearly knew this was a drag but that doesn't fix the issue with repetition and you will very quickly notice the lack of power-ups enemy types and obstacles throughout the entire game oh gee thanks game serves me right for walking on the normal regular floor do you know what that means you either end up in a miserable grind where you check your phone every few minutes every hour of every day in order to keep on top of your ingredient farming or you give them all your money i am fully aware that this is a free-to-play game so in many ways it's pointless complaining about a gameplay system where you get more out of it by shelling out a few quid but i do think cash banuka has the rudds goes way too overboard with how little you can physically progress without spending money i put a decent amount of hours into the game when it first launched and i got pretty far after a few hours but even after all of those combined hours i still don't even have half the levels completed that i need to get to world three you can either use money to buy ingredients immediately or use them to buy crystals which are the rarest commodity in the entire game and those are the things that are used to speed up all of those horrific cooldown timers and yes there's always the multiplayer angle if you've got the tickets to play in the first place where you make up your own team and then head to the races with ghost characters in an endless running mode in order to beat their furthest distances but that's only a tiny portion of the game and it doesn't really help you along the campaign that much it is pretty fun to get trophies which then get collected by all of your team members onto a leaderboard so that you can win prizes for a season but that's hardly worth investing into the tickets to begin with but hey just in case any of you are wondering and wanted to join in i'm the head of the woolly whompers and the best run i was able to do in the multiplayer lasted me just over 16 minutes which let me tell you is way harder than it sounds because you end up going this fast after that much time i have to stress though this game is indeed free so you aren't harming yourself by downloading it but if you ask me there's a thousand other free-to-play games i'd recommend over this purely because of how tectonically slow this one is without dropping any money towards it i have got way more mileage from many other free games and still feel satisfied without dropping a cent towards them yeah i've been inconvenienced in a few places but the core game is still great and you can still do a lot this though this is more than an inconvenience without money it's boring and i don't want to play it anymore a loki funko pop my advice is to treat crash on the run like fast food it's really lovely in small doses but if you have too much of it you'll get gout and then you need to cut it off for your own health now what about the other crash ios games that released on the app store yep believe it or not this is not the only one in fact there were two before it crashed nitro cart 3d from 2009 and crash nitro cart 2 from 2010 but unfortunately there are absolutely zero ways to play them anymore unless you already have them on an iphone with those games pre-installed they were taken off of apple stores years ago and can't even be emulated which is a huge slap in the nut but at least we've got this review from macworld to go off of pros nothing comes nothing verdict nothing i guess that's why they were taken down and with that yeah i think we're done finally we have covered every single crash bandicoot portable game ever made caddy when did you get a blimp yes it's me and i'm here to give you items that never helped anybody just like the blimp i don't think you're right silence wench and take my next useless [Music] item [Music] this here is the nokia n gauge yep i know it's a video game console cross cell phone that came out in 2003 and it's gloriously it's a taco it's the end of a spade it's a weighing scale for a tiny little man do you remember all of those images going around the internet years and years ago yeah people weren't doing that to be funny that is exactly how you had to hold this thing when making calls because the microphone is down here and the earpiece is up here come on i can hear the sea seriously i love this thing i think it's an extremely cool time capsule for the early 2000s but i'm not here to tell you why this thing failed as a phone and a game system i'm not derek it's me derek from stop derricks from derek instead i am here to tell you that there is indeed an engage exclusive cash banuka game from june 2004 crash nitro cart with online features that don't work anymore yeah this thing really did try marketing itself as a games console they had games that came in boxes with cartridges no less and in order for you to swap these cartridges out you had to take the entire back of the phone off and remove the battery i i don't know why nobody bought this mix that all together with phone dialing keys for buttons and an upright rectangular screen that doesn't show you anything around the left and the right of you and most of the games that released for this thing were virtually unplayable impressive for sure but terrible hang on a second whoever i bought this from on ebay left their sim card in it well it would just be rude to not look through all of their contacts let's do it who should i call ashton cowell toby hamby corinne zuzar kieran laurie john karen g mattheus or lowercase amy as you can see my copy of nitro cart on the n gauge is still sealed and brand new off of the shelf from 17 years ago and since nobody bought this stupid railway tunnel or any of the games for it when they came out guess how much this set me back 103 pounds and 50p that's roughly 150 for a game that will most likely look like this and since this is still indeed wrapped up in its original packaging and is quite valuable i need to make sure that i'm really careful before deciding to now surprisingly this isn't actually based on any other version of nitro cart no not even the gba version it's its own gruesome beast and yet somehow it isn't gruesome in fact i'd say it looks even better than the gba version yeah imagine that a 2003 nokia phone looks better than a nintendo console but man this doesn't look too bad and the tracks aren't flat either there's more bends hills ramps everything consider me impressed and then you remember you're playing on phone dialing buttons and you can only see what's directly in front of you and the buttons are massive and really far apart like the goddamn intellivision and the joypad is horribly stiff and then you realize you spent a lot of money on these things and you do a big messy you know what i want to know though what do you think a hands-free model would look like hey mom i'm on my way by the way do you mind if i sat on the cake i can't see it is that it are we done surely surely after looking at the nokia engage version of crash nitro cart i must have covered every single crash bandicoot portable game known to man yes good perfect so thank you for watching ladies and gents and i'll see you all on the give me a break yeah we're still not done look we've also got crash bandicoot games that came out on old smelly brick phones all throughout the 2000s do any of you guys remember java games on these things to cut an extremely long story short java was the most popular in-built mobile phone software for running complicated apps and playing video games on something that looks like a steam press laptop for a business rat and throughout the 2000s every single thing you can imagine got a java game available for mobile phones and all you had to do was buy a magazine look for the mobile downloads page and right under the ringtones and next door to the thongs were all the games you could pay for and download straight to your phone fifa pirates of the caribbean worms harry potter and the chamber of secrets everything you can imagine ended up on mobiles along with our favorite hip thrusting orange guinea pig and let's start off with the game that everyone else got if they didn't have a decent mobile phone september 2004's crash nitro car not for the game boy advance not for the nokia n gauge but for early 2000s java cellular telephones fun fact this was the first ever crash bandicoot game released for java only mobile devices so my expectations are not very high [Music] and i hope you enjoyed that because that's all the sounds you get i think i'll pick crash for this game because he definitely looks the most normal cortex looks like a mouldy banana coco looks like an angry young boy with a bleeding mouth and crunch crunch looks like winnie the pooh three two one and go yeah so here we are everybody crash nitro cart on a 2004 mobile phone a racing game where you chug along in dead silence trying to get speed boosts from congealed pits of blood honestly to give it its jews i remember playing a lot worse than this on my old mobile when i was a kid this doesn't look too bad and it runs surprisingly slick but like you still had to pay money for this and all you do is hold the top of your keypad up while turning left and right while pressing the confirm button to use an item whoa it was a noise but if you want to get really old school you can always use the number pad to go forward turn and use items but at that point you'll end up with blisters how the hell did they expect you to do that oh cool an invincible akuaku mask power-up the end [Music] were you impressed by that well if you weren't they made another one one year later called crash racing oh praise gordon the big engine i can choose to turn sounds on yes please i've changed my mind can i turn them off this game if you can believe it is a 2005 mobile phone java version of tag team racing they couldn't do the tag team though so it's just crash racing which sounds like how my granddad drives look there's even nina cortex and pasadena opossum to play as but i'm definitely picking cortex this time because christ almighty his hair could do with a wash and my god yet again the game is totally silent what pray tell is the point of asking me if i want sounds if the only sounds were on the god damn first still image it doesn't matter either way though because even though this looks nice and colorful it's just a choppier and slower version of nitro cart mobile and after getting hit by three invisible things one after the other i promptly gave up sorry cortex we'll drive you to the hairdressers tomorrow in which case maybe we should take a look back at 2004 seems to be a good solid year for crash bandicoot mobile phone games so let's check out crash twinsanity on java and see if that's any good now this one came out two months after nitro cart java so perhaps it's a bit more advanced i'm excited for this also available on console well what a great start i've just been told that the game i paid for is rubbish but please trust us the actual version is better you can't afford the real one crash time for us to pick a file then and huh why why is that there i'm not picking that one ah okay so this is a platformer that takes those cortex escort missions from the original twin sanity and turns them into a side scroller you help him he helps you i can see where they're going with this and it doesn't look too bad either you know except for the five frames per second and the fact that cortex looks like a walking mound of lard oh and again there's no sound but you can jump you can double jump you can spin what more could you ask for oh cool a tnt box oh i see i see how it is what's the point of having the nitro crates and tnt crates if both of them blow you up immediately and what kind of death sound is that there's no sound in this game as it is but instead of at least trying an explosion you do that hey ollie catch thanks what is it well it's okay because at least i can get my life back oh what i i can't jump up and break boxes hang on that can't be right let me try over here no no you can't do that this is not a crash game it's a wolf in bandicoot's clothing everything you expect a crash game to do just doesn't happen it's like when you grab a wet wipe and you expect it to be wet but it's all dry and crusty because it's been sticking out the top of the packet and someone folded it back in yeah that's what this game is a bad wet wipe time to stand on the switch to clear the path for cortex then this is great oh there he is and just in time too because now he has to clear the way for me the game the game froze wait for cortex who will free the way for you well game i think i'm going to be waiting a long time for that this game is poo on a plate in fact no it's not poo on a plate put on a plate is better because at least you've got something to eat okay so you know i said that crash nitro cart for java phones was the first mobile phone crash game they released back in september 2004. well yeah it was the first box standard java mobile phone crash game but it wasn't the first mobile phone crash game that honor actually belongs to a game on another phone entirely something that was a little bit different from every other phone on the market at the time oh man are you talking about me no kia oh i could be a phone if you let me go in your pocket and vibrate with no kia the honor of the world's first crash mobile game belongs to crash twin sanity 3d which came out in june 2004 three months prior to nitro cart java but exclusively for phones that were capable of running advanced 3d java graphics under the vodafone live series of phones in the uk only five mobile phones were compatible in this country with this one being one of them the nokia 6630 not only capable of running better quality games but that also came with a softer and more joystick feeling d-pad for them and because of all of this new technology they made a game that sticks out more than billy from philly with the great big nose yep here it is check it out oh oh it's so good it's beautiful my god i just i want to put myself all over you i think i found my new booty call and it has a nice wide pair of hips twin sanity 3d actually thinks it can get away with a free roaming 3d platformer on this i know you've got more of a joystick feel to your d-pad guys but it's still a d-pad for 2004 mobile phone menu navigation you can't play a game like this on it what are you an income at least we can say one thing for sure though it definitely has sound in fact maybe it has too much sound because that menu music [Music] is one of the scariest things i've ever heard in my life i don't want to be a huge donk here i can at least praise the ambition and attempt of a 3d corridor platformer on this kind of technology and it actually does move along better than i ever expected it to in fact for it running on a phone that looks like this the graphics give me a flagpole it's certainly mighty impressive but like none of that matters you can't play it oh and what about these cutscenes cortex you shall be destroyed and that bandicoot and his friends will be our slaves fear the wrath of the twins never not even if i have to team up with that blithering bandicoot to stop come on you bumbling fool twin sanity 3d is exactly like dating somebody based entirely on their genits sure they may look respectable and you may even have a bit of fun but you know it isn't going to last in which case let's head back to original java phones with crash nitro cart 2 released in 2007 and yes this is a sequel to crash nitro cart 1 java it's not a sequel to the ps2 version or a sequel to the gba version or a sequel to the n-gage special version even though that's a mobile phone and it isn't the same thing as crash nitro car 2 on ios from 2010 even though that's also a mobile phone my head is in pain please shoot me in it [Music] well i can at the very least say this if you're running a half decent java installed mobile phone from 2007 and you can ignore crash dressing up as a rice farmer then this game is easily the best mobile phone crash game so far it looks really good for the technology available plus there's multiple characters and cars to pick from there's multiple tournaments as well as single races there's background music that plays all throughout the game thank the lord you've got a load more power-ups than the other kart racers your car transforms in some of the tracks and since acceleration is automatic all you need to worry about is occasional braking turning left and right and then they saved up the number two or top of your joypad for the jump which not only allows you to bounce over hazards but also collect hidden crash letters that once all collected can briefly turn you into an unstoppable monster truck why is this game slapping as hard as it is okay fine it's nowhere near as great of a racing game as sonic freeloaders but i need to send a very big well done to the developers i p for you oh do you now oh and look they even included my favorite crash bandicoot catchphrase use the carjacking bonus to steal opponents carts hello i'm crash bandicoot right so are we ending on a positive note now have we done every crash bandicoot mobile phone game yet no there's a mobile phone version of crash of the titans oh oh how much deeper can this rabbit hole go is this a joke no i mean it is this a bit are we going through crash of the titans again on a java phone from 2007. this is the dumbest thing i've ever heard since whoever decided to name this mushroom tape and it's even more of a joke that amazingly enough the game looks great for the technology look at this look at the animations look at the fluidity look at the overworld with dead body crash with a mouth like a post box i'm stunned truly i am this looks better than the expensive and proper game boy advance version does this mean does this mean this could be the best version of crash of the titans no i know it looks pretty good and don't get me wrong it really does but what you need to keep on remembering with these things is that you're using a tiny directional pad or phone number dialing buttons whichever you end up with they're clunky they're rigid and if you play any kind of fast-paced action game like this where you need to move all over the place you'll be rubbing your thumb around these stiff clicky things so much that you'll eventually start a fire by the way i never thought i'd say this but i can't for the life of me get past this giant boxing elephant he just loves hitting me into his lovely blue hole here and even if he doesn't manage to do that crash all of a sudden feels like he could go for a swim and does it on his own anyway i promise i did not move him that way are we done yet no of course not why would we be done here's a blackberry can you eat it no what does it taste like grease crash mutant island a game that came out exclusively for random blackberry mobile phones in july 2009. and don't be angry with me but the only version of this game i could find online was the long and vertical version which definitely doesn't fit on a screen like this because it's supposed to look like this but christ almighty i'm trying here and there's only so much a mere mortal man can do leave me alone and i'm absolutely shocked to say that this is easily the best mobile crash platforming game so far it's the closest thing to a crash game at the very least i do hate how floaty and slow the controls feel and the pace of the game is ruined by how you just mash the five key to punch enemies for what feels like three years but it looks the best it plays the best the levels are multi-layered there's a lot of exploration for rewards there's a rayman start overworld it's on a mobile phone that should have juices in it but it doesn't it's the first mobile java crash game that has music and sound effects at the same time and for some reason it also has while crash is quietly resting a panicked bandicoot arrives wait there's more than one bandicoot that looks like crash this is uncanny i don't like it and why does he look like he's from chicken run well man we're getting so advanced in hashtag modern warfare we've got quick time events now i'm a very sad and lonely man crash a giant flying machine just took your sister coco smells like her fanny and there's another one i'll tell you whoever decided that it was okay to put a million different crash games on a million different mobile phones that are really hard to find i will hunt you down and get the hooves out lumpies and germs this is the panasonic gd67 from 2002 and inside this diddy little electric razor is a special bit of technology known as the execution engine or xn made by a company called infusio this special engine has an exclusive crash bandicoot game on it known among the community as crash bandicoot xn and let me tell you getting a hold of this information the correct phone the software that's able to emulate it on a computer and the game itself was unnecessarily difficult but i did it anyway because you know me i'm the caspanuka big big bad birthday bashy bingo boy and there's no length i won't go to in order to find a video game that crash bandicoot is hiding in after finding out about the game and the hardware that it was released on i simply couldn't ignore it but the digging i had to do to get inside it was deep and full of sand i managed to find an article from 2002 about the press release of the xn software and compatible mobile phones after a few minutes on google which was a great start but it wasn't enough i still couldn't find a way to play the game on the phone itself let alone play it on a pc so the hunt for an emulator for one specific dead mobile phone game engine began i managed to find the emulator no problem but the actual game files to play on were another story enter howard forums and a nearly 20 year old article resurfaces from a load of pirates that wanted to download infusio xn games onto their own mobile phones i followed the breadcrumbs in the forum one thing led to another and i eventually ended up on a chinese rom website that inexplicably is the only place that has the rom file for the crash game buried in a million different discussion tabs that i can't even read because i don't live on the moon but what is this i can't download it without making an account for the site is it safe is it legit will i even get the right file i don't know but no problem is too big for crash bandy boy two two two two two and after all of that i eventually managed to do it and was it worth it kind of this here is the absolute closest to a crash game that any of these old mobile phone games have ever come close to emulating and it may just be my favorite for how close it nails this attempt it's basically a mobile version of the gba games and you have all the controls you'd expect you can run jump spin belly flop even crawl around and crouch jump to reach high areas uka uka is also here and he has a very offensive sense of humor now unfortunately there is absolutely no sound anywhere in the game and even after collecting all the crystals and hidden gems i was only able to access four levels but maybe these were glitches with the emulator and not the game itself but regardless i still enjoyed this game well enough to a point of beating every level 100 well done crash bandicoot xn for being the only game so far i could squint at and say yeah this looks sort of like crash but maybe he looks more like a wrinkled cheesy puff okay now no more jokes no more extensions to the end of this video i swear to god we are done we have done every single cash banuka portable game i could get my hands on christ what a pain sure there is technically one more on mobile phones known as crash bandicoot intuition which is a sequel to crash boom bang no thank you luckily for me though that was a 2007 japanese exclusive on something called the docomo sh904 which uses motion controls so there was no way i was going to emulate it let alone find an actual copy to play it which is a shame because i actually did manage to find myself a japanese docomo phone just in case there was a chance i could play it but it doesn't work and this is a rare collector's item that wasn't cheap and i can't do with it and so that's it we're done the end sorry everybody i know that took up a lot of your time but i hope you enjoyed the ride as much as i did i mean i played some games i didn't even think existed i enjoyed quite a lot of them and i've got a better appreciation for cash manuka now so overall i think this hello there's a mobile phone version of crash boom bang [Music] [Music] crash bandicoot is dead please subscribe and don't forget to hit that bell follow me on instagram and twitter because when you're nice it gets me off special thank you to my executive producers on my patreon page in the description below starman stovz anders andel blake brown captain demozan dave marshall dredge and bungo enerjack five eric brankey exo pass giant firing coal heart fire inflim iron ninja mitchell reed roman war 1485 raven torah red eyed critic red spade 83 skull man slowpoke tardis type 40 the game shed the patron formerly known as fat houdini the real kit nathaniel's trade tressler tudor apples well wind abyss german boy remy dan and alex emma rushton zohaib mcleod louis mcnamara and terrell stan do you know how to unlock my parnet's bank account

Channel: Caddicarus

Views: 2,520,500

Keywords: crash bandicoot, crash bandicoot review, crash bandicoot gameplay, caddicarus, crash bandicoot 4, completionist, playstation, PSP, nintendo, nintendo DS, gameboy, game boy, bad games, crash on the run, crash XS, Crash the huge adventure, portable games, handheld games, mobile game, mobile games, crash nitro kart, crash fusion, crash of the titans, mind over mutant, crash bandicoot 4 switch, nintendo switch, crash tag team racing, crash bandicoot mobile gameplay, PSP games

Id: N-AF_U98pYw

Length: 78min 22sec (4702 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 01 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/AlexT05_QC]

Cash Banooca in ya pocket.

[u/F0rtnite_is_ok]

Ill be back, in an hour

[u/ImmaculateWeiss]

Think I’m going to spend the next week playing GBA Nitro Kart again

[u/king_townicus]

The Crash Twinsanity mobile death sound is now my text tone.

[u/DepartmentSquare1]

I literally put this (https://youtube.com/watch?v=sgADbTbjBQA) over Caddy's rant about Crash Boom Bang's mechanics to him getting Crash On The Run! shoved in his face. It was better than the video by itself.